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00:00:05This train is bound for heaven, and I'm storming Peter's gate
00:00:11On that train, that old train, that glorious train
00:00:15Glorious train
00:00:28This train is bound for heaven, and I'm storming Peter's gate
00:00:34On that train, that old train, that glory train
00:00:39On that platform in the morning, we'll leave a happy gate
00:00:45On that train, that old train, that glory train
00:00:50On that train, that old train, you won't say the name
00:00:57On that train, that old train, that glory train
00:01:03Don't end up, down in the darkness, we'll see you later at the end
00:01:08On that train, that old train, that glory train
00:01:12All right
00:01:25We'll see you later at the end
00:01:59Man, this summer's gonna fry my scrotum
00:02:04Let's get a beer
00:02:05You can't get beer
00:02:06Wanna watch me?
00:02:07What do you think of that blue car right there?
00:02:10What, that?
00:02:10Yeah
00:02:11You are not driving up to college in those wheels, okay?
00:02:16Yeah, well
00:02:18I may not be getting into college
00:02:20But the psych department's impacted
00:02:22Hey, buddy, of course you're gonna get in
00:02:24You're going to college, all right?
00:02:26But just not in that
00:02:28That thing has been on sale for going on three years now
00:02:31For one reason
00:02:32Baby's got a poon deflector shield, okay?
00:02:34Come on
00:02:35Just don't worry so much, okay?
00:02:38My grandpa told me he used to do this all the time when he was a kid
00:02:41Oh, he told me a joke
00:02:43Okay
00:02:44Why does a dog lick his balls?
00:02:46Because he can't
00:02:47No
00:02:48Because have you ever tasted a dog's balls?
00:02:51They're delicious
00:02:54That's not how the joke goes
00:02:56I know that
00:02:57But that's why grandpa's a genius, okay?
00:02:59He takes jokes that you know
00:03:00And then he gives them alternate endings, all right?
00:03:04That's funny
00:03:04It's weirder
00:03:06Okay, Marty
00:03:09Honey
00:03:10Look
00:03:11What?
00:03:14Susie
00:03:18Hey, ladies
00:03:20Hi
00:03:21Hi
00:03:22Hey
00:03:23Do you want a beer?
00:03:25Come on
00:03:26Sure
00:03:27No, Julia, come on
00:03:29Get back
00:03:34I'll finish it later
00:03:36Bye
00:03:38Bye
00:03:39Bye
00:03:40Bye
00:03:44Now, boys
00:03:45I can't sell you this beer
00:03:46No, sir
00:03:47In the state of Illinois
00:03:49It is illegal for minors
00:03:51To purchase beer products
00:03:52Imitation or otherwise
00:03:54Ken Worthy
00:03:55You can't get drunk on near beer, okay?
00:03:57So give me a goddamn break
00:03:58Now just get, both of you
00:04:02Goddamn white trash
00:04:05What'd you say?
00:04:06The other day
00:04:08Your mama comes in here
00:04:09Bought beer
00:04:11On a Sunday
00:04:12Before noon
00:04:14Trash comes from trash
00:04:17Okay, okay, okay
00:04:19All right
00:04:20I'm fine
00:04:21Okay
00:04:21I'm fine
00:04:22Now let's go
00:04:23You'll see us again
00:04:24Fuck yourself in the ass, Ken Worthy
00:04:26Don't let the door hit you
00:04:27Where the good lord split you
00:04:29We had many good times together
00:04:32Teens feel inadequate to cope with situations
00:04:35They may become angry
00:04:37Managing this anger may require therapy
00:04:42I require therapy
00:04:44Mike, no offense to your chosen profession
00:04:47But if you ask me
00:04:49Psychology causes people to have mental problems
00:04:52Okay
00:04:53How do you figure?
00:04:56Well, I mean I figure
00:04:57Because before there was psychology
00:04:59Did anyone go to psychologists?
00:05:02I don't think so
00:05:04Okay
00:05:08You know, Lenny
00:05:10I really don't think we should be doing this
00:05:12Come on
00:05:12Oh, too late
00:05:13Okay
00:05:14That ass in there called us trailer trash
00:05:17Now I promised you a beer
00:05:18And I intended one for your mom
00:05:20And a lake never breaks his promises
00:05:22Now turn around and give me a minute
00:05:24Give me a minute
00:05:32One smoke bomb military
00:05:39I'm sweating
00:05:43Shit, Lenny
00:05:44That blow doll was on fire
00:05:46I thought you said that was a smoke bomb
00:05:48Well, I wish it was an exact science
00:05:49Mikey, I did it
00:05:53Oh, my God
00:05:54There's a woman in there
00:05:58Don't worry, ma'am
00:05:59I'll get you out
00:06:00Holy shit
00:06:01Your mouth
00:06:02Your mouth
00:06:03Come on, let's go
00:06:05God, no
00:06:06Jesus Christ, Lenny
00:06:08Kenworthy's on fire
00:06:09Big deal
00:06:09Ho-ho's or ding-dongs
00:06:10What?
00:06:11Let me out
00:06:12Ho-ho's or ding-dongs
00:06:13Which one does your mom like better?
00:06:14I don't give a fuck
00:06:15Twinkies, come on
00:06:16Right, well, it better be Twinkies
00:06:17Because I'm getting them
00:06:18What are you doing?
00:06:20I thought we were just eating beer
00:06:22Yeah, we're going to risk incarceration
00:06:23For near-bearing Twinkies
00:06:24That's called stupid
00:06:25My
00:06:26Jesus Christ
00:06:26Come on
00:06:27Please
00:06:28Come on
00:06:30You're not thieves, okay
00:06:31I paid for my near-bearing
00:06:33You, man
00:06:34Get off
00:06:36Flink
00:06:37You stop
00:06:37What?
00:06:38Look, the cops are here
00:06:39Hey, hey, hey
00:06:40Don't panic, Mr. Psychology
00:06:41They ain't seen us
00:06:42There
00:06:43Those are the guys that burned my dad's gold
00:06:45Come on, I gotta go
00:06:46Now we gotta go
00:06:50Stop, you little shit fuckers
00:06:55Okay, okay, we surrender
00:06:57Stop firing
00:06:58Did you fire us for stealing near-bearing?
00:07:01We wasn't shooting at you, you little shithead
00:07:03We were shooting off to the side just to scare you
00:07:07What are you, uh
00:07:09What are you talking about, Kyle?
00:07:13You wasn't shooting right at him, were you, Darren?
00:07:15Well, of course I was
00:07:16Come on, what am I supposed to do?
00:07:17I see you firing away
00:07:18I joined in
00:07:19That's my job
00:07:20Ain't your job to execute shoplift
00:07:22What's wrong with you, man?
00:07:24Why don't you just give me a hand signal next time
00:07:25We're just cops, now, son
00:07:26I'll give you a signal next time
00:07:27I'll punch you right in the nose, you stupid shit
00:07:28Don't yell at me in front of the shit
00:07:50Hi, Mom
00:07:54Well, let's get it right to it, shall we?
00:07:57Your Honor, my client, my clients have received a copy of the complaint.
00:08:10Their true names appear thereon, and they waive a formal reading.
00:08:21The charges, they enter a plea of guilty.
00:08:26Wait a minute, counselor, did you say guilty or not guilty?
00:08:31Moment, please.
00:08:36Not guilty, Your Honor.
00:08:38Fine.
00:08:40Bail, recommendations?
00:08:42Judge, in light of the nature of the crimes, arson, public endangerment, and staging a false homicide,
00:08:49I think that $50,000 is reasonable.
00:08:53We request $45, Your Honor.
00:08:57Your Honor, since my son and his friend have no prior record, I think that bail is unnecessary.
00:09:05Is that right?
00:09:06This was a very serious crime.
00:09:09On the other hand, we have no dead bodies here.
00:09:13It compels me to let these boys out on their own recognizance.
00:09:18Your Honor!
00:09:19Uh, uh, uh, Mrs. Bronco, can you tell me that under your motherly guidance,
00:09:25these two stand a chance to make something of themselves?
00:09:29Oh, yes, Your Honor.
00:09:31My son will be attending college in the fall.
00:09:34Well, court rules that there's no bail at this time.
00:09:38The next, uh, court session in this matter will happen on August 5th.
00:09:43You understand anything of what I said?
00:09:45Uh, yeah.
00:09:46Yeah.
00:09:47Yeah.
00:09:48Wonderful.
00:09:50Next case.
00:09:52Pail versus Bobby Calhoun.
00:09:54No chewing gum.
00:09:56Mom, please don't be mad.
00:09:57I don't want to talk to you right now, Mikey.
00:10:00Our lawyer was hammered.
00:10:02Well, the sober attorneys are out of our price range, especially now.
00:10:06Well, what do you mean, Mrs. B?
00:10:08I got fired from the retirement home today.
00:10:14Mom, come on.
00:10:15I'm sorry.
00:10:20So why are they firing you?
00:10:24It's a long story.
00:10:26Let's deal with your problem first.
00:10:28Well, I sort of have a solution to the problem, Mrs. B.
00:10:32Grandpa Ron.
00:10:33I mean, he is the best lawyer in town since he got out of jail,
00:10:36and I bet he'll give us a break.
00:10:39Lenny, you don't get a break when you deal with your Grandpa Ron.
00:10:43You get broke.
00:10:45We just need some cash for a decent attorney.
00:10:48Linda, let me discipline the boy in my own manner, please.
00:10:53Macho said to me, you get a new fitting, and we'll put you in a grudge match.
00:10:56You know how long I've been waiting to get in a grudge match, huh?
00:10:59A hell of a long time.
00:11:01But a fitting takes money, a new appliance takes money,
00:11:03and now you want the money I set aside for my career?
00:11:06Well, I'm not going to let you blow this for me, boy.
00:11:08No way.
00:11:08No way in hell.
00:11:10Hey, Mrs. B, you used to be a cheerleader.
00:11:12You were hot.
00:11:13Lenny, would you just trick your hole, okay?
00:11:17Now tell me something.
00:11:18Would it help me if I stuck with you every day
00:11:19to make sure you don't turn out to be an asshole?
00:11:22Well, how would that keep me from becoming an asshole?
00:11:25God damn.
00:11:26Boy, I have had enough.
00:11:27Oh, you're a smart mouth, young man.
00:11:29Ah!
00:11:30Jesus Christ!
00:11:33You really hit me.
00:11:34What the hell did you do that for?
00:11:35You bet I did.
00:11:36Ow.
00:11:37Why was this going to scare the boy?
00:11:39Hey, no, Mom, just stop, okay?
00:11:40Dad's dealing with career frustration issues.
00:11:43Listen, the boy's trying to get into college.
00:11:46Give him the money.
00:11:47Me?
00:11:47Why not you, huh?
00:11:48Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:11:49I forgot.
00:11:49You can't even hold down a job.
00:11:51Now, hold on, Dad.
00:11:52Don't attack Mom's inadequacy issues.
00:11:55Inadequate?
00:11:55Here is the man who refuses sex 10 months
00:11:57before a stupid wrestling match.
00:11:59Mom, let me not look.
00:12:00Okay, Dad may have performance anxiety or casualty.
00:12:03Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:04I am not the crazy one here.
00:12:06She is the crazy one.
00:12:07Now, crazy is inappropriate terminology.
00:12:10Get out.
00:12:10You steroid-eating gorilla.
00:12:13Just go to bed with one of your homely ladies of wrestling.
00:12:16You think I didn't know?
00:12:17Hey, gorilla.
00:12:19Now, wait, wait, wait.
00:12:19We can discuss this in an open environment.
00:12:24Dad.
00:12:25I'll be back.
00:12:27I love you, Mikey.
00:12:34Mom.
00:12:35I need to think.
00:12:41There's frozen mini pizzas in the fridge.
00:12:45If you need me,
00:12:46the wagon wheel's in the phone book.
00:12:49That's where I'll be.
00:12:50You two boys be good.
00:12:57Everything's gonna be fine.
00:12:58You look really foxy tonight, Mrs. B.
00:13:05Ow.
00:13:07Ow.
00:13:09Ow.
00:13:11Shot of Jack.
00:13:12Heath, please.
00:13:16Can I get you a chaser?
00:13:20You're Mikey Bronco's mom, right?
00:13:22Linda.
00:13:24Brian Ross.
00:13:25Like the clothing store.
00:13:27And the sheriff?
00:13:28Yeah, he's my daddy.
00:13:30Oh, Milwaukee's, please.
00:13:34He wanted me to follow in his footsteps, but I can't do that.
00:13:37Why's that?
00:13:39I'm a rebel.
00:13:41Yeah?
00:13:41So what do you do?
00:13:42I manage Mr. Snack out of Route 13 West.
00:13:46You hire him?
00:13:48For my son.
00:13:49Oh, and I heard about that arrest from old Ricky Kenworthy.
00:13:52He's our fry cook.
00:13:53Corporate don't allow us to hire boys with criminal records.
00:13:56Sorry.
00:13:59Maybe I should apply.
00:14:00Or their families.
00:14:02Can I tell you something, Linda?
00:14:04I think you're hotter than donut grease.
00:14:07Does your girlfriend know you talk like this to strange women?
00:14:11We broke up.
00:14:13Did you just break up when you sat down here to talk to me?
00:14:17No, you see, younger women, they're bland.
00:14:21It's white pie.
00:14:23No seasoning.
00:14:24Like a spiced apple.
00:14:28What are you going to say after you're done screwing me?
00:14:32Men don't want one kind of pie.
00:14:34They want them all.
00:14:36Oh, that's how it is, is it?
00:14:38Yeah.
00:14:39See this?
00:14:40A few months back, the love of my life dumped me, got married,
00:14:43and called me the biggest fucking loser in the tri-state area.
00:14:47One of only nine women I've been with in my whole life,
00:14:50and she still has the other half of my heart.
00:14:53I'm sorry.
00:14:54Yeah, you know, I'm sorry for bothering you, Linda.
00:14:56I'll order you that drink for you and get out of your hair.
00:14:59Could you get another Jack Daniels down here, please?
00:15:03Thanks a lot.
00:15:05Here we go.
00:15:07I'll leave you alone.
00:15:08Brian.
00:15:10Stay in your seat.
00:15:16Stay in your seat.
00:15:32Hey, man.
00:15:33There's that son of a bitch that fired your mom.
00:15:36Oh, yeah?
00:15:37Mr. Duran?
00:15:38You know, I bet he's going off to Delaware again.
00:15:40Man, people with money are always going to foreign countries.
00:15:45Mikey, if Grandpa Ron represents us, you'll be able to stay out of jail and go to college.
00:15:50But he's going to need a retainer, and you're going to need tuition.
00:15:53All right?
00:15:54Now, who better to get that money from than the people who owe it to your family the most?
00:16:00We just lie back and let rich assholes like the Duran's take big steaming shits on our tummies.
00:16:09When you use metaphors like that, it makes people think you have real problems.
00:16:16Mikey, I admit it, okay?
00:16:18I fucked up your life.
00:16:19I admit it.
00:16:20But listen, I swear to you that I will unfuck it, and a lake never breaks its promises.
00:16:40It's right here.
00:16:47Oh, man, what a bunch of crap.
00:16:49What the hell are we going to steal?
00:16:51Well, I'll start with that.
00:16:55Here, I'll take this.
00:16:56Yes, come here.
00:16:57Oh, and the candies.
00:16:59All right.
00:17:01Hey, hey, hey, look at this.
00:17:03Listen, go in the bedroom and I'm going to go in the kitchen.
00:17:06Hey, check for some china.
00:17:07All right.
00:17:11Now!
00:17:15Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:17:17Look at that stuff parking, you stupid dog.
00:17:20Lenny, can you handle this or what?
00:17:22Yeah, I'm fine.
00:17:23I'll be okay.
00:17:23You just take care of stuff in there, and I'll be fine here.
00:17:26All right, just don't get the dog, man.
00:17:28All right.
00:17:30All right.
00:17:49All right.
00:17:51Just don't get the dog, man.
00:17:53Oh, my God.
00:17:55Truck.
00:17:56McNeely.
00:17:57Hey, give me that.
00:17:58Come here, boy.
00:18:01How are you tonight, Mrs. B?
00:18:05Come on, come here.
00:18:06Yeah.
00:18:08Hey, Mrs. B.
00:18:09Mrs. B, that thing's going to blow.
00:18:20Why'd you do this, Mackie?
00:18:22You want to go to jail?
00:18:23Mrs. B, can I just say something?
00:18:25Going into a trial with no lawyer is like going into a whorehouse with no heart.
00:18:29Money?
00:18:31Mom, what we intended on doing was going into Mrs. Duran's trailer, stealing the jewelry,
00:18:36and then going down to the flea market, selling it so we could make money for our lawyer.
00:18:40You've got $30 worth of costume jewelry here and some nail polish and the contents of a candy dish.
00:18:47Mrs. B, there's some rare gems there.
00:18:49They sell this stuff on the home shopping channel.
00:18:52Oh, no, Mrs. B, this is gold.
00:18:54It's bold gold.
00:18:56It ain't worth nothing.
00:18:57If you're so interested in stealing, why don't you take their cash?
00:19:00We couldn't find any.
00:19:02Did you check a cookie jar or a coffee can up in the cupboard?
00:19:06Well, you're going to have to take this stuff right back.
00:19:08Right this second.
00:19:09Oh, too late, Mrs. B.
00:19:13Duran's came home.
00:19:17Mackie, go to your room.
00:19:20Yes, you can stay the night.
00:19:25Good night, Mom.
00:19:30You know, Mom, if you want to keep any of this stuff, I understand.
00:19:36Jewelry has a way of adding to a woman's self-esteem.
00:19:45All in my heart!
00:19:48All in my heart!
00:20:16Good morning, Mrs. B.
00:20:22What's this?
00:20:26That's $422, Mom.
00:20:29Oh, Mrs. B, those people in Carbondale will buy anything.
00:20:34I mean, what a bunch of hicks.
00:20:41Mom, now we called Ron and made an appointment.
00:20:44Yeah, he just said to us, bring in any amount of money that you get and he will do the
00:20:50case
00:20:50for pro bono, which is Spanish for half price.
00:20:57No, Lenny, it's Latin for free.
00:21:01Carbondale's just a few miles from here.
00:21:02What if somebody who knows you saw you?
00:21:05Hey, did Dad come home?
00:21:06No.
00:21:07Sweetie.
00:21:10Mikey, hey, what's going on, buddy?
00:21:13Lenny Lake, right?
00:21:14Yeah.
00:21:15What'd you do to your, uh...
00:21:16Mmm, something smells good.
00:21:17What'd you ask for cooking?
00:21:18It's cereal, motherfucker.
00:21:20Lenny, watch your mouth.
00:21:21Mom, you just screwed a guy who kicked our asses every day after football practice.
00:21:28Yeah, well, you know, that was a long time ago and I apologize.
00:21:31They don't give him no right to call me no motherfucker.
00:21:34Although last night, technically, he said...
00:21:37Hey, stop it!
00:21:39Stop it!
00:21:41Rocky!
00:21:42Who is it?
00:21:43It's the police, ma'am.
00:21:44Please open up.
00:21:46Oh, shit.
00:21:47Can you take it?
00:21:55Jesus.
00:21:56God damn it!
00:21:58Right, get...
00:21:59Get off of me.
00:22:03Jesus.
00:22:05Ryan!
00:22:10What are you doing here?
00:22:11Nothing you're concerned, Darren.
00:22:14Yeah, well...
00:22:15That door in his trailer got burgled last night, about 2200 hours.
00:22:19Did you see or hear anything?
00:22:22Come on, man.
00:22:25I didn't hear anything or see anything, but then again, I did have a bare thigh ear muscle,
00:22:30if you know what I mean.
00:22:34These boys, they gone good over here, and if you want, I'll keep an eye on them for you.
00:22:39Yeah.
00:22:40Yeah, why don't you just make sure you're not wearing a fur-eye patch when you do?
00:22:46Excuse me?
00:22:47Excuse me?
00:22:48Why, I was just...
00:22:49Get the hell out of here.
00:22:50All right, Brian.
00:22:50Get the hell out of here.
00:22:51Go.
00:22:52Tell my daddy.
00:22:53God damn it!
00:22:56So...
00:22:58I guess we're a team.
00:23:27Grandpa Ron!
00:23:29Leonard, you little dickhead, long time no see.
00:23:32Hey, Linda.
00:23:34Smartass.
00:23:35Hey, I want you all to meet my new wife.
00:23:37This here is Sandy Lake.
00:23:40Leonard, say hi to your grandma.
00:23:43Hi, Grandma.
00:23:48Hi, Sandy.
00:23:50Hi, Brian.
00:23:51You look so good.
00:23:53So do you.
00:23:54Miss you so much.
00:23:56Did you miss me?
00:23:56What was that?
00:24:00We, uh...
00:24:00Son, you're talking to a married woman.
00:24:03I used to go out.
00:24:05Well, she's married now to a man who takes her to the Virgin Islands and gives her anything
00:24:08her little heart desires.
00:24:10Now, why in the fuck would she miss you and your itty-bitty swinging dick?
00:24:13Now, would you ease up, Ron?
00:24:15We're just friends now.
00:24:16Tell me that.
00:24:16Can you answer that question, boy?
00:24:18This guy needs to take a chill pill.
00:24:19I'm getting a corndog.
00:24:21Excuse me?
00:24:25Ron!
00:24:26Ron, stop it!
00:24:26You missed me, you little piece of feety.
00:24:29My wife don't need your friendship.
00:24:31She don't need no midnight chats with you on the front of walks in the antique shop.
00:24:36She don't need nothing from you.
00:24:37Ron!
00:24:37You understand that?
00:24:39Huh?
00:24:39You got that?
00:24:40Come on.
00:24:42Darling, listen.
00:24:43Stay away from me.
00:24:43Honey, you know I love you.
00:24:45It's just that I get a little crazy from time to time.
00:24:48Here, why don't you go shopping?
00:24:50I don't want your money.
00:24:57Taking the money, Carla, tonight.
00:25:07So, dickhead, what do you think of your grandmother's ass?
00:25:11Oh, it's really nice, sir.
00:25:15Folks, I'm sorry to drag you all into my private affairs.
00:25:19How about I treat you all to a bag of waffles?
00:25:21You too, bud.
00:25:23You and I can be friends.
00:25:25Come on, boy.
00:25:29Keep your enemies close, then.
00:25:31Keep them close.
00:25:37Thank you, darling.
00:25:40It's too much.
00:25:41Being a man is rightful wage is a sign of respect and commitment.
00:25:46Without that little token, my resolve to keep these two gorgeous young boys out of prison is weak.
00:25:55We ain't got that kind of money.
00:25:57I just lost my job.
00:25:59You lost your job because you didn't call upon Ron Lake.
00:26:03Now, we both know that your boss, Mr. Doran, is skimming money from them retired folks.
00:26:09And instead of getting yourself a good lawyer, you decided to go over his head and got your ass fired.
00:26:16Now, I know that because Mr. Doran hired me to rep him.
00:26:22Now, listen up here.
00:26:23When a man steals from retired people, he opens himself up to the possibility of being stolen from, and that
00:26:33crime going unreported, stolen from by an ex-employee, it's kind of a Robin Hood kind of thing.
00:26:45Leonard, hand me that money.
00:26:48This?
00:26:49Yeah.
00:26:50Now, you four have just paid me to be your lawyer.
00:26:53And any discussions we've had about that robbery come under the attorney-client privilege.
00:26:59What robbery?
00:27:00Ron just suggested we rob an old age hole.
00:27:02Now, that's bullshit, smartass.
00:27:05I suggested you all rob the head of the old age hole.
00:27:10You can't?
00:27:12What kind of lawyer are you?
00:27:14Mackie, don't talk with your mouth full.
00:27:20Smartass.
00:27:21Every educated person knows that the U.S. Constitution was written on stolen parchment.
00:27:28You want to know what kind of lawyer I am?
00:27:30That's the kind of lawyer I am.
00:27:37Now, you look after Ron Lake.
00:27:41Ron Lake's going to look after you.
00:27:44Bye, Grandpa.
00:27:50That old man wants us to steal to pay his legal fees.
00:27:53What a coot.
00:27:54What do you mean, us, jerk off?
00:27:56He was looking at Mike and me.
00:27:58You boys ain't doing any crimes alone no more.
00:28:01Yeah, especially without some muscle.
00:28:03Muscle?
00:28:03He just got beat up by an old man.
00:28:05Hey, I swallowed my chew.
00:28:07And I'm not talking about that kind of muscle.
00:28:09I'm not...
00:28:10I'm talking about this kind of muscle.
00:28:12We're not using guns.
00:28:15Jesus save me.
00:28:19I want you to work with the boys.
00:28:21Well, I'm not taking orders from Ron.
00:28:22Betty, you're taking orders from me.
00:28:24What?
00:28:26Now, you two are smart.
00:28:28I know if you put your minds to something, you'll succeed.
00:28:31But you're going to get yourselves put in jail if you keep on doing stupid things like stealing from the
00:28:36next der neighbors.
00:28:38Without even checking to see if their dog was home.
00:28:40Mom, you don't have to dwell on that.
00:28:41I'm sorry, honey.
00:28:43But we're going to do this together.
00:28:46Mrs. B, I think that's awesome.
00:28:47I think that's titties.
00:28:48Hold on a second.
00:28:49It's not awesome or titties.
00:28:51It's ridiculous.
00:28:52I am not robbing someplace with my mother.
00:28:55Why not?
00:28:56Because you're a housewife.
00:28:58Son, have you been paying attention?
00:29:00Your father left me.
00:29:02I am not a wife and we live in a trailer.
00:29:04Not a house.
00:29:05For your information, my life is in the toilet.
00:29:08Except for one thing.
00:29:09One thing gets me out of bed in the morning.
00:29:11Do you know what that one thing is?
00:29:13Alcohol?
00:29:15I have a son who's going to college.
00:29:19You ain't going to live in a trailer.
00:29:21You're going to live in a dorm.
00:29:22Then an apartment.
00:29:23And then a house.
00:29:31Mom, I love you.
00:29:35Me too, Mrs. B.
00:29:37Me too, Linda.
00:29:44All right.
00:29:48Anybody want to go bowling?
00:30:07You say you want to change the world.
00:30:10It's all right.
00:30:12With me, there's no regret.
00:30:14It's my turn.
00:30:15The circle game has brought me here.
00:30:18And I won't let down to every second set.
00:30:23You leave your eyes now.
00:30:27You should have tried now.
00:30:56I kind of like your mom as a brunette.
00:30:58Shut up, Lenny.
00:31:00Okay.
00:31:00I go to Duran's office for the cash.
00:31:02You guys are supposed to check the ambulatories and make sure they don't set any alarms causing
00:31:05any problems, okay?
00:31:06Meet you two pillow bitters back here in 10.
00:31:08Fuck you.
00:31:09Ow.
00:31:10Good boy.
00:31:18Man, this map is awesome.
00:31:20Have you seen this?
00:31:21Your mom did a rocking job.
00:31:22That's fair.
00:31:24No.
00:31:25No, it's better than fine.
00:31:27You've got to tell her you appreciate her, man.
00:31:29Divorce is hard on me.
00:31:30Hey, don't tell me how hard it is, okay?
00:31:32Ross could end up being my dad.
00:31:34Oh, no.
00:31:35Hey, look at this.
00:31:36Look at this.
00:31:39It's a Rolex, man.
00:31:40This is real.
00:31:41Look at the sweep on the second, look at the sweep on the second hand.
00:31:44That's smooth.
00:31:45Put it back.
00:31:46Man, why do people always have the best stuff?
00:31:49I mean, I don't understand it.
00:31:50They don't ever use it for anything.
00:31:52They drive eight-cylinder cars like they got three.
00:31:55They have wicked watches and they don't have any appointments.
00:32:00Put it back.
00:32:10What the hell did you just do?
00:32:12I'm not going to let some nigger put his hands on...
00:32:15What did you just say?
00:32:17I don't know.
00:32:19Nothing, Mom, okay?
00:32:20We got to go.
00:32:21Let me tell you something.
00:32:22I thought I raised my son better than that.
00:32:24I thought I raised a boy who believed in equality.
00:32:27Mom, I do.
00:32:28I said it in the heat of the moment, okay?
00:32:30I don't really feel that way.
00:32:32Oh, God, Mom, the alarm.
00:32:34Let's go.
00:32:34Come on.
00:32:35Did you ever even stop and think that you just said the most hateful, mean word for people
00:32:39of color?
00:32:40Let's go.
00:32:40I got the money.
00:32:41Let's go.
00:32:42What happened, Michael?
00:32:44Can you apologize right now for saying the n-word?
00:32:47I'm sorry.
00:32:48You have to mean it.
00:32:49Mom, I mean it.
00:32:50I'm not racist.
00:32:51I'm sorry.
00:32:52Miss B, I believe you said it by accident.
00:32:54You didn't mean it.
00:32:54Yeah, you know, we should probably get going.
00:32:55I'm not going to be able to talk my way out of this one.
00:32:57You're grounded.
00:32:58With the exception of your trial.
00:33:00Come on.
00:33:04Oh, Jesus.
00:33:05Sorry, sorry.
00:33:07Wait up, wait up, wait up.
00:33:13Oh, man, how much beer does this guy drink?
00:33:36These were all made in jail, that's about, what is that?
00:33:40That's our ego.
00:33:44There's your money.
00:33:45Well, I hope you save some for yourself.
00:33:48Enough for college tuition and expenses.
00:33:51Well, smartass, you're about to find out whether you're going to college or to jail.
00:33:56How do you feel?
00:33:57I want to be honest.
00:34:00I'm filled with angst.
00:34:01Well, I, for one, are hoping he's going to college.
00:34:04Because if you use a word like angst in prison, there's going to be a five-car pile-up on
00:34:08your Hershey Highway.
00:34:13What are you laughing at?
00:34:14You're going to be with him.
00:34:16Oh, hell, ain't anybody going to jail.
00:34:18Michael, I understand that college pussy is very expensive.
00:34:22Percy.
00:34:25That'll go towards textbooks.
00:34:27If he needs pussy, it'll have to be pro bono.
00:34:31Mimosa delight.
00:34:32Thank you, honey.
00:34:33I heard your husband left you.
00:34:35I am so sorry.
00:34:37Sometimes the best way to deal with depression is to drink.
00:34:41Well, I'm dealing with my depression in my own way.
00:34:45I'd like to propose a toast to that great American institution, the family.
00:34:51As the captain said, love will keep us together.
00:34:57Let's get right at it, shall we?
00:35:00Counselor Lake, how do you plead?
00:35:02We plead guilty, your honor, to petty theft.
00:35:05Judge, the state recommends a fine of $250 and 12 months probation.
00:35:11Well, great.
00:35:12Let the record reflect that the defendant's plead guilty to crime, petty theft, and a $250 fine and 12 months
00:35:18probation.
00:35:19This is not justice, and there will be no peace.
00:35:23Shut up!
00:35:25All right, you boys, let's go out of here.
00:35:29That was it?
00:35:31That was it, son.
00:35:32We're free, man.
00:35:33You got us off, Grandpa.
00:35:35We do no jail time.
00:35:37Ron.
00:35:39Under those terms, the charges are on their record.
00:35:42They break probation for any offense.
00:35:44They go to jail.
00:35:45Well, it's a lesser charge, and they're not going to break probation.
00:35:48Wait, it's on my record?
00:35:50Son, it's shoplifting.
00:35:51Nobody cares about a chicken shit charge like shoplifting.
00:35:55Now, the next thing you'll be bitching about how short the trial was.
00:35:59You paid me good money, I did my job.
00:36:01I think what you're really trying to say is thank you, Ron Lake.
00:36:07I think you, Grandpa Ron.
00:36:09My boy, don't go to college.
00:36:11You're going to hear from me.
00:36:27Number 38, your chili mac is up.
00:36:30We need more cheese food.
00:36:33Well, who the hell let the cheese food slice bin go empty?
00:36:36Why don't you go back there and get another lock?
00:36:38I told you I ain't picking that shit up.
00:36:40Thank you for coming.
00:36:41Damn it.
00:36:41Well, tell a boozy I'm going to check the reefer.
00:36:44Asshole.
00:36:46Hey, let's stop listening to this junkie.
00:36:48Let's listen to some Garth.
00:36:53God damn it.
00:36:55Agrocalientic on soap suds, Enrique.
00:36:58Damn.
00:37:03Disrespect me, and I'll break it off and beat you with it.
00:37:13Cheese food.
00:37:15Looking for some?
00:37:17Jesus, Sandy.
00:37:19What the hell are you doing in the basement of the Mr. Snack?
00:37:22I like private places.
00:37:24And I wanted to see you.
00:37:29Oh, God, baby, me too.
00:37:32Doesn't it at least pour the fuck out of you?
00:37:34No, I love kissing you.
00:37:35No, I mean, I mean, work in here.
00:37:38I mean, why'd you stop stealing?
00:37:41We've got enough money for Ron.
00:37:43What about us?
00:37:45Us?
00:37:46Are you in love with Linda Bronco?
00:37:49No, we're just friends.
00:37:51Friends at fuck?
00:37:54Well, I was at the bar one night and...
00:37:56Ron, it doesn't even matter.
00:37:57That's not what this is about.
00:37:59I am sick and tired of Ron.
00:38:00I want to be with you.
00:38:01I want us to be together.
00:38:03I want to get some money in our pockets, run away, and start a family.
00:38:07A family?
00:38:09Yes.
00:38:11What?
00:38:12Can't you tell?
00:38:14I'm pregnant.
00:38:22Four months and you ain't even showing.
00:38:25Let's make one big score.
00:38:26Let's clean out the Mr. Snack and run away.
00:38:29One big score?
00:38:30Sandy, I can't have you talking like that.
00:38:33If, uh...
00:38:34If what?
00:38:36God damn it, if you're going to be my wife.
00:38:38It's the right thing to do if we're going to have a family.
00:38:41Brian, if you were going to be a father, you have to be willing to do anything for your son.
00:38:49Family's all that matters.
00:38:51Oh, Brian.
00:38:52I knew you weren't a loser.
00:39:00All right, the letter.
00:39:12well fuck i'm going inside
00:39:22crimes of moral turpitude what's that supposed to mean it means
00:39:27that i'm a criminal and southern illinois university doesn't accept criminals
00:39:34lenny give me an application to truck driving school that's where i'll be going in the fall
00:39:40you are not going to trucking school you are going to college
00:39:55hey mrs b you know you are one of the finest mothers that i've ever had the pleasure of knowing
00:40:03oh that's sweet lenny
00:40:10you also have one of the finest racks on any woman over 30. lenny lenny lenny if you're
00:40:17going to compliment a woman do it from your heart not your pecker sorry
00:40:28well i guess i better be going i haven't been home in three months better make sure they ain't moved
00:40:38hey mrs b you know i was sort of thinking public schools like like siu
00:40:46they're real hard to get into you know with all the rules and stuff but regular universities like
00:40:50like university of chicago i mean they're real easy to get into they just cost five times as much
00:40:57anyway see you in the morning mrs b i'll see you in the morning
00:41:18i should call first yeah you should uh linda i was just wanted to talk to you about a few
00:41:26things you
00:41:28No, no, it's not you, but...
00:41:30Are you breaking up with me?
00:41:33Yeah, Linda, I'm afraid so.
00:41:35Well, you can't.
00:41:38Why not?
00:41:39We're not dating.
00:41:41We slept together once.
00:41:43Frankly, you weren't that good.
00:41:45Okay.
00:41:46So, you want to be friends?
00:41:49No.
00:41:52Fine.
00:41:54Brian.
00:41:58I've been thinking about stealing again.
00:42:03God, Linda.
00:42:04Me too.
00:42:05I am thinking the exact same thing.
00:42:08Look, I have never felt so strongly about something in my whole life.
00:42:13Listen, Linda, I happen to work at a place where they don't do bank deposits.
00:42:17The Mr. Snack keeps the cash right on the premises.
00:42:19You think we could get $40,000 in one shot?
00:42:22Weekend night, after a game, easily.
00:42:27Linda, let's do this.
00:42:40So, everybody knows the plan.
00:42:43Don't use names, just numbers.
00:42:46Mikey's number one, Lenny's two, Brian's number three, and I'm number four.
00:42:52Look, we can use this to blow up the safe.
00:42:55Clay dough?
00:42:56No, well, see, what I did is I mixed the contents of three M80s up into this, so all you
00:43:02have to do is stick this to the safe, and then stick the fuse in, and then light it, and
00:43:06then boom, open safe.
00:43:07Huh.
00:43:08That's very clever, Lenny.
00:43:10Good work.
00:43:11But I'd like Brian to deal with the safe.
00:43:13Huh.
00:43:13What?
00:43:14I thought I was in charge of explosives.
00:43:16Give it back.
00:43:17Lenny, I want you to stay up front with me as my protector.
00:43:21Huh.
00:43:21Huh.
00:43:22Good plan, Mrs. B.
00:43:25Here you didn't get into college, Mikey.
00:43:28Blow me.
00:43:29Mikey will be enrolling in the University of Chicago and taking psychology classes in the fall.
00:43:35I will be doing none of the above.
00:43:38You will be doing all of the above?
00:43:40Now, I'm not busting my butt with these robberies so you can go to some trucking school.
00:43:45I mean, no offense, Lenny, but it's a fine profession.
00:43:48Untaken.
00:43:49How can I be a family counselor when the only goddamn family I have is not only dysfunctional,
00:43:56but criminal?
00:43:57Hello?
00:43:58Mikey, God's last name is not damned.
00:44:00Am I right, Mrs. B?
00:44:03So you're just giving up on your dreams, is that it?
00:44:05Mm-hmm.
00:44:08Stop playing games when you should be studying the hash plans!
00:44:11Mom, I can't believe you just hit me!
00:44:13Then do what she says, dumbass.
00:44:14Why don't you fuck yourself in the ass, Frost?
00:44:16Lenny!
00:44:17Yeah!
00:44:18No!
00:44:19What?!
00:44:23I'm sorry.
00:44:24Oh, Jesus.
00:44:25Save me.
00:44:25Jesus.
00:44:31Lenny, stop aiming that thing!
00:44:33What?
00:44:33It's just plastic.
00:44:35Maybe it could poke someone's eye out.
00:44:47Oh, no.
00:44:51It's a bomb.
00:44:55Alright.
00:44:56Anybody here fucked with us, they eat hot rifle grease!
00:44:59And I mean all you copsuckers!
00:45:02Number two, what did we discuss about using foul language?
00:45:05Yeah, man, have some class. There's girls working here.
00:45:07I'm going to go open the safe.
00:45:08Hey, apologies to number one and number four.
00:45:12Excuse me, Susie.
00:45:14Susie, would you do me a favor and put a couple of burgers in a bag, please?
00:45:17Yes, ma'am.
00:45:18Number four, is that for the ride home?
00:45:19Because if it is, I want a hot apple pie and curly fries.
00:45:23You want anything else, number one?
00:45:26Um, yeah, I'll take it.
00:45:31I'll take chicken nuggets and, uh, banana shake.
00:45:36Susie, don't give them a shake.
00:45:38They make them nauseous when we drive.
00:45:39I'll take that shake, thank you, Susie.
00:45:41Would you give him a Sprite, please, Susie?
00:45:43We only have mellow yellow ma'am.
00:45:45That's fine.
00:45:46Mom, I wish you wouldn't do that.
00:45:48Hey, number one, do not speak to number four in that total voice.
00:45:52Oh, number two.
00:45:52Do you want to go on?
00:45:53Come on, there's no fighting during the robberies.
00:45:58He started it.
00:46:02Don't be embarrassed.
00:46:03She's just trying to be a mama.
00:46:04I know how that is.
00:46:06What's your baby's name?
00:46:08Julia.
00:46:10Here, take this.
00:46:11For Julia.
00:46:13I still see you back there.
00:46:17Uh, girls, would you do me another favor?
00:46:19You know that tall boy with the ski mask on?
00:46:21Number three.
00:46:22Could you tell him we've got to go now, please?
00:46:25Thank you so much.
00:46:32Brian?
00:46:32Brian, what?
00:46:33Get out!
00:46:34Get out!
00:46:37Get out!
00:46:38Oh, God!
00:46:40Damn it!
00:46:43What's the freaking combination to the safe?
00:46:45You're the assistant freaking manager.
00:46:46If you don't know, they're not going to tell us.
00:46:48Don't talk to me like that.
00:46:49Okay, okay.
00:46:50Maybe we can guess it.
00:46:52That is the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard.
00:46:54How are you going to guess the combination to a safe?
00:46:56It's not stupid.
00:46:56I read it in a book.
00:46:58Oh, well.
00:46:58What would be a natural choice for Mr. Labusi to pick as a combination?
00:47:02What do you know about him?
00:47:03He hates Jews.
00:47:04Oh, didn't he like St. Williams?
00:47:06Uh, when's St. Williams' birthday?
00:47:11Come on, Susie, come on!
00:47:12Okay!
00:47:13September 17, 1923.
00:47:18Nine.
00:47:19Number three!
00:47:22No.
00:47:24Uh, didn't he die on New Year's Day?
00:47:281953.
00:47:32Number three, move your ass!
00:47:37Oh!
00:47:39Holy shit!
00:47:44You're telling the one what you just saw, and I'll tell your parole officer that you're
00:47:48still doing crystal.
00:47:49I ain't!
00:47:50Oh, yeah?
00:47:50Well, who are they going to believe?
00:47:51Me or you?
00:47:52My daddy's a sheriff!
00:47:53Ha!
00:47:53Get to the front.
00:47:54Now.
00:47:55Go!
00:47:59Oh, my gosh.
00:48:01Oh.
00:48:03Here we come.
00:48:04Little trade to the bar for the house.
00:48:06Did you buy for me?
00:48:10One for them.
00:48:12Three for me.
00:48:14One for them.
00:48:16Okay.
00:48:17Number three!
00:48:18Number three!
00:48:21But, Chris, what the hell are you doing out here?
00:48:24Oh, I just threw up.
00:48:27Bad bitch.
00:48:29In the grease trap?
00:48:30Yeah.
00:48:32Come on, man.
00:48:32We gotta go!
00:48:33Okay.
00:48:34Come on.
00:48:35Yeah.
00:48:35All right.
00:48:37Shit.
00:48:39Oh, fuck.
00:48:44Ross, did you open the safe?
00:48:45Yeah.
00:48:45How did the plastic work for you?
00:48:47Great.
00:48:48Ross.
00:48:49What?
00:48:50What the fuck?
00:48:52What?
00:48:53Number one, call him number three.
00:48:55And number two, watch your language.
00:48:56Hurry up.
00:48:57We gotta go.
00:48:57I didn't say anything.
00:49:01Mom!
00:49:02Mom, are you all right?
00:49:03I'm okay, honey.
00:49:04Let's just get out of here.
00:49:05Oh, shit.
00:49:08Oh, my God!
00:49:10God!
00:49:12Sorry.
00:49:13Oh, my gosh.
00:49:19I'm real sorry, Linda.
00:49:21I ran up to some trouble in the back.
00:49:22Ross, why is there only a couple thousand in the bag?
00:49:24I don't know.
00:49:25I guess I had a slow line.
00:49:26Yeah, well, that means we can't make max tuition.
00:49:28What the hell took you so long in the office?
00:49:31One of the Susies was hitting on me.
00:49:34Susie with a Y or Susie with an I?
00:49:36Why?
00:49:38Stop it, Mikey.
00:49:39Get in the car.
00:49:40Now.
00:49:41Right, get in the back seat.
00:49:43Let me do two.
00:49:51Uh, gear, key, brake.
00:49:53What do I do?
00:49:54Key, gear, brake!
00:49:55Hurry.
00:49:57Look right, then left, and check the mirrors.
00:50:00Oh, holy shit!
00:50:01Ah!
00:50:07Oh, shit.
00:50:09Very good.
00:50:10Why don't you look at Jeff Gordon over here?
00:50:12Shut up.
00:50:14I didn't know you burned that boy bad.
00:50:16He started it by throwing his ninja star.
00:50:18I don't care who started it.
00:50:20That was a wrong thing to do.
00:50:23How do you think that boy's mom and dad are going to feel
00:50:25when he shows up with second-degree burns on his face and neck?
00:50:29Can't really, I don't know.
00:50:31That's right.
00:50:32You don't know.
00:50:33I just want you to sit there a while and think about your actions.
00:50:37Yeah, well, Ross was dicking around forever back then.
00:50:39This is not about Brian Ross.
00:50:41This is about Leonard Lake.
00:50:47I'm sorry, Mikey.
00:50:50Sandy, I did it.
00:50:51The money's in the grease trap.
00:50:53Behind Mr. Snack, get it, baby.
00:50:54Okay, we'll leave at the end of the week.
00:50:55You gotta get it.
00:50:56It's behind him, Mr. Snack.
00:50:57In the alley.
00:50:58Bells.
00:50:59Gotta go.
00:51:00Bye.
00:51:06Hey, Leonard.
00:51:07Smartass.
00:51:08Just the guys I wanted to see.
00:51:10Oh, the garden looks amazing, Grandpa.
00:51:12Welcome to Grandpa Ron's men's den.
00:51:16Have yourself a seat, boys.
00:51:18Here.
00:51:19You want one?
00:51:20Aspirin?
00:51:21Yeah, it thins the blood.
00:51:22Go for the ticker.
00:51:25Boys, why did the chicken walk funny when he was crossing the road?
00:51:30Why, why, why?
00:51:33Because he just came out of a meeting of the Man-Chicken Love Association.
00:51:42How do you come up with these things, Grandpa?
00:51:44Well, it's a gift, dickhead.
00:51:46It's a joke gift.
00:51:47Yeah, I hope you saved the receipt.
00:51:51You know, I was reading an interesting story in the paper this morning.
00:51:55Front page stuff, just below the fold, it seems four mysterious individuals wearing ski
00:52:02masks robbed the local Mr. Snack of $200,000.
00:52:07$200,000?
00:52:08Grandpa, we never got anywhere near that kind of money.
00:52:11I mean, we got maybe like $3,000 or $4,000 out of the cash register, right?
00:52:15We're also only got like $2,000 out of the safe.
00:52:17Either one of you boys got a calculator?
00:52:19No, no, I can do that in my head.
00:52:21No, no, no, no.
00:52:21I just want to try and figure out how many times you all are going to be buttfucked in
00:52:26the federal penitentiary.
00:52:28The amount of money you stole or was stolen from you is grand theft.
00:52:33I could be an accessory to that crime.
00:52:36No, wait, but you're our lawyer.
00:52:37The trial is over, shit for brains.
00:52:40But you're my grandfather.
00:52:40They can't arrest you for that, can they?
00:52:53You boys ever been in love with a woman?
00:52:55Yeah.
00:52:57Someone other than Pamela Anderson.
00:53:00No, not who?
00:53:02You want to know what it feels like to be in love with someone
00:53:05and have that someone be fucking someone else?
00:53:09It's like having a rat in your stomach, chewing and crawling its way through all your organs,
00:53:16stopping only long enough to shit and piss and laugh at you.
00:53:21And that rat gets up into your heart and stays there sometimes for years, sometimes forever.
00:53:33A good piece of ass is the most dangerous thing in the world.
00:53:38If you find one, boys, do me a favor and run from it.
00:53:47We're going to find all of that money and we're going to split it 50-50.
00:53:5350 to you, dickhead, and 50 to you, smartass.
00:53:57What about Ross?
00:53:58I'm glad you brought him up.
00:54:00Brian Ross has got to die.
00:54:03You want us to kill Brian Ross?
00:54:05Won't that break our probation?
00:54:06Mr. Lake, you're talking about murdering the son of a cop.
00:54:09I don't give a fuck if he's the son of Frankenstein.
00:54:13Do you want your mother to be molested by pissed off dyke cellmates with broom handles?
00:54:19Now, I realize you and your mother have a dream,
00:54:22a dream that you go to college and become a family counselor.
00:54:25Leonard here, he has a dream too, to get a fancy car and eventually get laid.
00:54:30Now, I got a place in St. Croix, the Virgin Islands.
00:54:33My dream is to retire there with that little knife fighter right on my side.
00:54:39And I ain't letting no fucking son of Frankenstein fuck up my retirement.
00:54:45Now, you boys do this job for me.
00:54:49We're all going to realize our dreams.
00:55:14Let's go.
00:55:17Got Edelbrock air filters, a B&M shifter, an FR-4805 aluminum wheels, huh?
00:55:22Now, Sandy drives it once in a while, but it's not a young lady's car.
00:55:26This is a young man's ride.
00:55:31What's that for?
00:55:33Registration.
00:55:34Did you say registration?
00:55:36Did I stutter?
00:55:37Can't you tell?
00:55:41Gentlemen, this is yours if you do that job for me.
00:55:45And if you can't get laid out of this car, you've got to be two of the biggest faggots in
00:55:49the Tri-State area.
00:56:02Okay, so what are we going to do?
00:56:04You think, study for the trucking test.
00:56:06But we have to get back the Mr. Stack money.
00:56:11Dammit, he's cheating on your mom.
00:56:14I'm not just going to watch some jock asshole spend my best friend's tuition money to fuck my grandmother.
00:56:22All right, so maybe we can't kill Brian Ross.
00:56:24But what if we scare him into telling us where the money is?
00:56:29Okay, listen.
00:56:30Now, Ron said he wanted him dead, but he didn't say, like, bring me his head or nothing, right?
00:56:34So, we go over to Brian's house with the guns, and we tell him to get out of town, never
00:56:41come back.
00:56:41And then we take his clothes and throw him in the river, and we burn down his trailer.
00:56:44So that way, the police will think that he died in the fire, or drowned.
00:56:49Or both.
00:56:52What are you boys talking about?
00:56:53Nothing.
00:56:55How about some miniature golf?
00:56:57Oh, no, we're going to be busy.
00:56:59We've seen a movie.
00:57:01Nothing violent.
00:57:03Okay, Mrs. B.
00:57:04All right, Mom.
00:57:06So?
00:57:11Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:57:38You know the phone?
00:57:39Yeah, who do you think he's talking to?
00:57:41He's probably talking to one of his stupid cop friends, you know, saying, uh, I'm such a rebel that I
00:57:47not only robbed my place of employment, but also the two dumbasses who assisted me in said robbery.
00:57:53Or maybe, maybe he's talking to one of his poker buddies, and he's saying, I've performed over a hundred unnatural
00:58:03acts of sex with one of the finest women in Sunrise.
00:58:07Linda Bronco.
00:58:08Even though it is true that my dick is so diseased it looks like the surface of Mars, she still
00:58:14took it.
00:58:15All right!
00:58:17Lenny, goddammit, I get the picture.
00:58:19Sorry.
00:58:22Hey, Mikey, do you remember the eighth grade, fifth period dodgeball?
00:58:29Certain senior walked in on our class and beamed you so hard in the back of the head that you
00:58:35were singing double for the rest of that day?
00:58:37Do you remember who that senior was?
00:58:40Mikey?
00:58:42Above all else, man, for fifth period dodgeball.
00:58:47What's going on?
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:51Where'd you say you left the, uh, money?
00:58:55No shit.
00:58:57That is genius.
00:59:00Really?
00:59:02Really?
00:59:06Tell you two monkeys down here.
00:59:09Ross, you screwed us and our families, okay?
00:59:11So, if you don't tell us where the money is right now, we're gonna, we're gonna kill you till you're
00:59:16dead.
00:59:17Let me tell you tomorrow.
00:59:20Brian, what you did was wrong, okay?
00:59:23Sleeping with an older woman shows me that you still feel a sense of abandonment from your mother.
00:59:28Abandonment issues which could be accompanied with latent homosexuality.
00:59:31Hold on.
00:59:33Now, stealing this money could be your way of acting out in the frustrations from the fact that maybe you're
00:59:39gay.
00:59:40So give us the money and you'll feel much, much better.
00:59:55You are fucking me!
00:59:58Pitch!
01:00:01Pitch!
01:00:02Pitch!
01:00:09Pitch!
01:00:10Oh, shut up.
01:00:11Oh, shut up.
01:00:12Oh, shut up.
01:00:13Get up!
01:00:13Run!
01:00:15Run!
01:00:15Get him! Get him!
01:00:19Get him!
01:00:21Shoot him!
01:00:45Get him!
01:01:21Get him!
01:01:22Get him!
01:01:25Get him!
01:01:27Get him!
01:01:28Get him!
01:01:29Get him!
01:01:29Get him!
01:01:29Let's go.
01:01:33Let's go.
01:01:33Thank you, ma'am.
01:01:34Thank you, ma'am.
01:01:38I'll call in.
01:01:42Hello?
01:01:45When I tried out with the cheerleading squad in high school, they said,
01:01:48we're looking for someone just like Linda Nelson.
01:01:50She was the best captain we ever had.
01:01:52I saw pictures of your fat ass in the trophy box every goddamn day at school.
01:01:56You weren't all that?
01:01:58Now you fucked my boyfriend and he's in the hospital.
01:02:00Bet you expect to pay.
01:02:11I was visiting a client in jail.
01:02:14Now if I was in the Jacksonville County lockup when this dick licker was shot, how can I be held
01:02:21responsible for it?
01:02:22We are inquiring of the possibility of a solicitation.
01:02:25Right in there.
01:02:26If I was to find out that you was even in possession of a gun, having previously been convicted for
01:02:31a felony,
01:02:33well, hell, that wouldn't be too good, would it?
01:02:34All right! My pizza's here!
01:02:40I don't know.
01:02:41What the boys got?
01:02:42I do not know. I think they got pepperoni.
01:02:44Well, I said...
01:02:45Carl, I told you I don't eat anything with a face on it.
01:02:48Get the goddamn pieces out of here. We're doing an interrogation.
01:02:51All right.
01:02:51Goddammit!
01:02:52Now these are for the boys.
01:02:54Now, Mr. Lake, we're just trying to get the facts straight here.
01:02:57The facts?
01:02:57Hell, I've been a lawyer for nine and a half years.
01:02:59I never heard so many goddamn stupid questions being asked over and over again.
01:03:05Especially when you've been getting the same stupid answers back.
01:03:09Well, now here's the thing.
01:03:11The questions are the same.
01:03:13But it's your answers that keep getting different.
01:03:17Do you want to hear the tape?
01:03:23Thank you very much.
01:03:25You know, I was home all night long, okay?
01:03:28So, uh, you can even ask my parents. They'll tell you.
01:03:32We, uh, talked to your parents several times about your whereabouts.
01:03:36And around the fourth time, they recognized your name.
01:03:42I ain't talking without my lawyer.
01:03:44I think I need my lawyer.
01:03:53You know, I haven't eaten all day. I'm really hungry.
01:03:58It sure is good pizza.
01:04:01We'd love to give you some, but, uh, if you want to wait for your lawyer.
01:04:06Yeah, it would be rude to eat without your lawyer.
01:04:09All right.
01:04:17We were there.
01:04:19I'm sorry, what was that song?
01:04:21We were there.
01:04:22Oh, damn.
01:04:26That's easier than I thought.
01:04:31I'm not hungry.
01:04:35Judge, I want this asshole, and I'd like to know that you're on my side.
01:04:41What asshole, Lake?
01:04:42He scared these kids into keeping quiet.
01:04:45He made it clear that if they go to jail, they're going to get their throats slit.
01:04:49Well, what do you want me to do?
01:04:50I'm not Captain America.
01:04:52Nice.
01:04:53Man, I shouldn't even be having this conversation with you.
01:05:01All rise.
01:05:02This court is now in session.
01:05:03The Honorable Judge William J. Pike presiding.
01:05:06Please come to order.
01:05:08Take off that hat.
01:05:09Sit down.
01:05:11Gentlemen, I gave you 12-month probation.
01:05:14I don't know what happened in that trailer to get this boy shot without either of you pulling the trigger.
01:05:19But from the information filed against you, you are both facing some serious prison time.
01:05:26Now, as to your relationship with your grandfather...
01:05:29I object, Your Honor.
01:05:32I haven't seen this young man in months.
01:05:34In fact, he's estranged from our entire family.
01:05:36Blake!
01:05:37This is not a trial, you moron!
01:05:39It's an arraignment!
01:05:41Get out of my courtroom!
01:05:44Bail is $25,000 each.
01:05:47Mrs. Bronco, I asked you to keep your eyes on these boys.
01:05:51Have you?
01:05:54Yes, sir, I did.
01:05:55Well, this is a small town.
01:05:57People talk.
01:05:59I prefer to listen.
01:06:00I hear that you are not now currently employed.
01:06:03Well, the new management at the retirement home is hiring me back, sir.
01:06:08Nevertheless, I hear that unemployment has been very good to you.
01:06:13Your grocery bill has doubled, paid your bar tab, trucking school tuition, and hired the services of a bail bondsman.
01:06:22Now, I've been watching these proceedings.
01:06:25You know, it's not my job to comment.
01:06:28But I will.
01:06:30Now, why do you suppose the sheriff has a hard-on for your boys?
01:06:35The state's attorney has a hard-on for your lawyer?
01:06:38But nobody has called attention to the fact that a woman with your body type closely resembles that of a
01:06:46lady involved in a burger restaurant robbery.
01:06:52Linda Nelson Bronco, I have a hard-on for you.
01:07:18I didn't inform on you, Mom.
01:07:20Neither did I.
01:07:22I know that.
01:07:26Um, can you tell me why you took money from Ron Lake to kill Brian?
01:07:31Mom, we were only trying to scare you.
01:07:35Oh, you scared him, all right.
01:07:37And you scared me, too.
01:07:39I look at you, too, and I'm scared.
01:07:41I want my son back.
01:07:42What?
01:07:52And his best friend.
01:07:54I want you to be teenagers.
01:07:56And I want to be a normal mother.
01:07:58I want to bake brownies and go to tractor pulls.
01:08:04Look at the mess we're goddamn in.
01:08:08Come on, let's get out of here.
01:08:25Hey, Ron, my son and your grandson tell me you uns had a deal.
01:08:31There was no deal.
01:08:32They did a job for you, and they were supposed to be paid, and they did not get paid.
01:08:35They fucked the job up.
01:08:37Well, we're gonna give you the chance to fulfill your obligation.
01:08:43And we're gonna give you a reasonable alibi by taking your car and the Mr. Snack money.
01:08:49We're gonna make it seem like we robbed you, Grandpa.
01:08:52You are robbing me, dickhead.
01:08:54Ron, where's the money?
01:08:56I believe your old boyfriend stole the money.
01:08:59My old boyfriend?
01:09:00He only has one brain, and I know where he keeps it, and I know it isn't very big.
01:09:03So my question to you is, where did your wife put my son's college money?
01:09:10I believe she hid it inside the trailer.
01:09:12Now, if you point that gun elsewhere, I'll go in there and help you find it.
01:09:15No need.
01:09:16We'll just take the trailer with us.
01:09:18Hey, Miss B.
01:09:19Hmm?
01:09:21What say we leave some sort of a signature to this crime?
01:09:25You know, let the police know we really did it.
01:09:28And what'd you have in mind?
01:09:29I was thinking maybe we could use the rest of them M80s and blow the shit out of a beer
01:09:34can garden.
01:09:35That'll be fine, Lenny.
01:09:37You're out of the will, Lenny.
01:09:47You're out of the will, Lenny.
01:09:58Hey.
01:10:00Things have blood sent.
01:10:02Good for the ticker.
01:10:06You're hearing them call, and it sounds like the end of the world.
01:10:10They're having us further away, they're calling,
01:10:12With a sign of the orange style.
01:10:15But kind of...
01:10:16At least for the wait there's cold with a sign of the orange style.
01:10:30Duck you sucker.
01:10:37Ryan Ross's room.
01:10:38Sandy.
01:10:40So you found me, big deal.
01:10:42Sandy, they blew up my beer guard.
01:10:45So what?
01:10:46Those little bastards, they stole our car.
01:10:49They stole our trailer.
01:10:50What?
01:10:51They blew up my beer guard.
01:10:53Stop talking, old man.
01:10:56Tell me they did not take my trailer.
01:10:58They took our trailer.
01:10:59I'm going to kill them.
01:11:01You know what?
01:11:01You're not going to do a damn thing,
01:11:02because I'm going to take care of this myself,
01:11:03you stupid son of a bitch.
01:11:05I promise you I will take care of this,
01:11:07and a lake never breaks her promises.
01:11:26Think, think, think, think, think.
01:11:28Think.
01:11:39Sweetheart, tell me everybody that you and Linda robbed from.
01:11:43I'm going to play in a little reunion.
01:11:48Can you get that?
01:11:50All right.
01:11:51I'll get it.
01:11:53Mr. Snatch, our buns are open all night.
01:11:56Put your fucking balls on the line now.
01:11:59Just one minute.
01:12:02Mr. LaBousey!
01:12:04Yeah, yeah.
01:12:05I got it.
01:12:06Yeah.
01:12:07Then a bronco, her son, and Lenny Lake robbed you
01:12:08and stole my trailer.
01:12:09They're headed out of town.
01:12:10Get your gun and get me to Route 30 Junction.
01:12:13What?
01:12:13Do it, fat boy.
01:12:14I'm not fucking around.
01:12:16I'll be right there.
01:12:23I'll be right back.
01:12:26We're going now.
01:12:44Double K here.
01:12:46Broncos are skipping bail.
01:12:47Get anyone you know with a gun and meet me in 30 minutes
01:12:49and we're going to get you.
01:12:52Come on, boy.
01:12:53Let's go to war.
01:12:53Hell, yeah!
01:12:59Baker, Baker, over.
01:13:01Mrs. B, come in, over.
01:13:03Lenny?
01:13:04Uh, Mrs. B, we can't find the cash anywhere, over.
01:13:08Look in the last place.
01:13:10You expect to find it.
01:13:12Uh, sure thing, over.
01:13:15Last place?
01:13:16Of course it's going to be in the last place.
01:13:19Fuck, man.
01:13:20No basketball scholarship for you, Mikey.
01:13:22All right, wait a second.
01:13:27Holy shit.
01:13:29Look at this.
01:13:31What's going on at the door?
01:13:32Oh, 65 miles an hour.
01:13:36Open up!
01:13:38Hey, ladies, what's going on?
01:13:41Hey, you girls want to come here?
01:13:42We need what?
01:13:43We got beer in here.
01:13:44We got a soapo and cushions.
01:13:46People are trying to kill you!
01:13:48All right, don't worry.
01:13:49They won't be able to find us.
01:14:01We got the money, Mikey.
01:14:03I got it.
01:14:16Hey, what's that?
01:14:17Get in the car!
01:14:19Grandpa?
01:14:28We're never going to get past that roadblock.
01:14:30And I won't get passed out.
01:14:49Mom, what are you doing?
01:14:51Get out of here.
01:14:53Get the Condor Boy 57, boy.
01:14:59I ain't leaving you.
01:15:01Yes, you are.
01:15:02Susie, would you ever do drugs in front of your baby?
01:15:05Hell no, Miss B.
01:15:06That's right.
01:15:07You set a good example.
01:15:09Get out!
01:15:14Mikey, I'm a bad mother.
01:15:20Go to college.
01:15:21Get good grades.
01:15:23And write to me in jail.
01:15:24But, Mrs. B, what if they kill you?
01:15:26I'll be all right.
01:15:27The cops have got to be here any minute.
01:15:30Now get in the car and go.
01:15:31Mom.
01:15:32Drive carefully.
01:15:34Mom.
01:15:36Go on now, go.
01:15:49Get the fuck out of the car.
01:15:51Now get out.
01:15:52Get the fuck up.
01:15:54Get out.
01:16:09Uh-uh, hold up.
01:16:14Everybody, just relax.
01:16:16Stay right where you are.
01:16:20Anybody want a drink?
01:16:28Come on now.
01:16:29Boy, everybody, you just drop your weapons.
01:16:33Get up against the car.
01:16:37Head over, Captain, 116.
01:16:40One, seven, five seconds.
01:16:41You turn for 9-6-0.
01:16:437-5-0.
01:16:448-7-6-0.
01:16:459-0.
01:16:468-0.
01:16:488-0.
01:16:4910-0.
01:16:538-0.
01:17:0410-0.
01:17:0510-0.
01:17:0620-0.
01:17:0710-0.
01:17:25How are you doing today, Jeannie?
01:18:01Hi, Linda.
01:18:05Hi, Brian.
01:18:07How are you?
01:18:09I'm healed.
01:18:11Yeah, I can see that.
01:18:13I mean, I found Jesus.
01:18:19I think that's great.
01:18:25I have something for you.
01:18:31Mikey and Lenny await you.
01:18:33I'm gonna stay here.
01:18:34I have work to do.
01:18:35I'm now the ministry leader at the female portion of the prison.
01:18:41Why doesn't that surprise me?
01:18:43You're truly blessed, Linda.
01:18:48God bless you.
01:18:54Jesus loves you.
01:18:57This I know.
01:19:01Oh, the Bible tells me so, dear mom.
01:19:09Dear mom.
01:19:10Sorry I haven't written sooner, but we are on the lam.
01:19:13A good lawyer is a bad enemy to have.
01:19:16So we made sure Sheriff Ross got the evidence he needed to put Ron Lake away.
01:19:23The snake skin receipt book, where he kept all his illegal firearm transactions.
01:19:29Now, Ron Lake had good instincts about knowing when to run, and unfortunately for him, so
01:19:34did the Sunrise Police Department.
01:19:35Mr. Lake, there's been a slight change in your itinerary.
01:19:38All right.
01:19:39Take him away now.
01:19:40Let's get up.
01:19:41Bring your bags away.
01:19:42Come on.
01:19:43Walk it off.
01:19:44Lenny made us some disguises, as well as fake IDs.
01:19:49Leonard Lake easily changed to Ronald Lake.
01:19:52Four tickets to San Juan.
01:19:54My name is Ronald Lake, with a Y.
01:19:56Ron had a trial with an audience.
01:19:58Notable is WWF champion Popeye Jim Bronco.
01:20:03Wrestling is very popular with prisoners, and Dad used his celebrity position to make sure
01:20:09Ron was taken care of in prison.
01:20:12Sandy Lake was also convicted.
01:20:15Sandy has a lot of anger management problems, and the prison authorities thought a little
01:20:19religious counseling would help.
01:20:24Here's the whole story of Noah and the Ark, and they were out on there for like weeks,
01:20:28you know.
01:20:32Dad once said that people are poor because they think poor.
01:20:36St. Croix, in the beachfront property we now own, has a way of adjusting one's way of
01:20:40thinking, and so does becoming a parent.
01:20:43Susie is a great mother, and I'm enjoying being a father.
01:20:46Lenny's also taken to the married life.
01:20:49I'm getting my degree in family counseling from the University of the Virgin Islands.
01:20:53And now I understand a little bit more about the kind of parent you were.
01:20:57Though my colleagues might disagree, I believe you are the best mother a guy could ask for.
01:21:05Welcome home.
01:21:30Welcome home.
01:21:32Welcome home.
01:21:35You gotta have faith
01:21:38You gotta have faith
01:21:40You gotta have faith
01:21:48I got grouse in my coffee
01:21:50Bold weevils in my meal
01:21:52Another day slips on by
01:21:55And I'm spinning my wheels
01:21:57Another day slips on by
01:22:00And I'm spinning my wheels
01:22:02Working on my last hangover
01:22:06I'll be lucky as a four leaf clover
01:22:10To make it through
01:22:15I'm digging the groove I'm in right now
01:22:20Why you got to make it such a fuss?
01:22:25I'm digging the groove I'm in right now
01:22:29Don't you kill my butt
01:22:39You know I've had a long day
01:22:42And I'm sick and tired
01:22:45Of all your jealous
01:22:48My mind is aching
01:22:51My heart is working on my last hangover
01:22:57I've been lucky as a four leaf clover
01:23:00To make it through
01:23:05I'm digging the groove I'm in right now
01:23:10I'm digging the groove I'm in right now
01:23:20Don't you kill my butt
01:23:23Oh!
01:23:25Don't you kill my butt
01:23:28Don't you kill my butt
01:23:33White ground's in my coffin
01:23:35Bold weevils in my bin
01:23:38Another day slips on by
01:23:41And I'm spinning my wheels
01:23:43Rounds in my coffin
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