00:00But it will be worse.
00:08It will be worse because I'll be all around you.
00:13Far into the desert.
00:15In everything you hear, my name will be there.
00:20In everything you see, my name will be there.
00:26In the whispering wind, my name will be there.
00:31Under a javvy footstep you take, is my name.
00:36My name will be that wall you endlessly run into.
00:45And you'll be afraid, cowboy.
00:48Afraid even of your shadow.
01:07In everything you fare not expects.
01:10Not an enemy, destroy the gates of the kazoo.
01:11Your escape?
01:12No.
01:19In everything you hate here in theest space of the kazoo will kill sending you to the brave.
01:37Ah, ah, ah!
01:40Ah!
01:41Ah!
01:42Ah!
01:42Ah!
01:42I'll have a problem.
01:55Lincoln's convoy passed through here.
01:57Not far from where we used to live.
02:03You okay?
02:04I'm doing well. Why?
02:06Well, we're gonna have to face the man who almost killed you.
02:08It's more like he's gonna have to face us.
02:11Okay, so here we are.
02:13I'm being serious and you're acting all tough.
02:15Well, of course I am because we're three against one.
02:17And together we're stronger.
02:20I'm so scared something will happen to you.
02:28Come on.
02:30Come on.
02:31Come on.
02:33Come on.
02:33Come on.
02:35Come on.
02:37Come on.
02:38Come on.
02:40Come on.
02:51Hey, stop.
02:53Why are you kidding me?
02:54We're not gonna have to.
02:54Come on.
03:04It's the convoy. Looks like they're boxed in.
03:09Look at the soldiers on the ground.
03:11The bodies with the gray and red uniforms are sentinels, the President's personal guard.
03:14You are obviously blindsided.
03:20In everything you hear, in everything you see, my name will be there.
03:26Hey, analysis of the situation.
03:29Okay.
03:31Uphill, there are shooters hiding in the rocks, and downhill, the wagons have been blown up.
03:36But no cannon fire, so either they're out of artillery, or they've been sabotaged like that one.
03:43Did you hear that cracking?
03:45It's a Sharps 59.
03:46It's coming from the wagons.
03:49There's a sniper keeping the enemy in check.
03:51With all the sentinels that have fallen, he won't hold that long.
03:55In other words, we need to figure out how to cross a 300-yard open field with a bunch of
03:59heavily-armed, trigger-happy idiots watching us.
04:02Yep.
04:04We're gonna need a battle plan that's...
04:07daring.
04:07And prudent.
04:09Suicidal.
04:11Stupid, then.
04:12Stupid.
04:19Stupid.
04:20Just give up.
04:21Freeze!
04:23No, stop!
04:27Stupid.
04:30Come on.
04:32Come back!
04:33Stupid.
04:50What?
04:50Sorry, but in the odyssey it worked and Ulysses hid under the sheep's bellies.
04:53Don't call him.
04:54Bushes don't walk!
04:54What was your idea?
04:56You drew a blank.
05:04Speed fire!
05:09I surrender!
05:10No more lice!
05:14Do you hear me?
05:16I surrender!
05:19But my win jester doesn't!
05:23It's the president.
05:29Move it!
05:30Hurry up!
05:36Hurry!
05:40Hell of a change for Cogs!
05:47They should leave us alone for a while.
05:49Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States, ready to serve.
05:54I'm so happy to see you, Luke.
05:56How long has it been?
05:57Almost three years, Mr. President.
05:58That's so funny.
05:59I was thinking of old friends and how I should invite them to Washington and pow.
06:02Here we are together under siege in New Mexico.
06:04Talk about kismet.
06:05We're not here by chance, Mr. President.
06:08What do you mean?
06:14There's gonna be a coup?
06:15Come on, we just won the election.
06:16Really, these guys have no patience.
06:18No, but they do have guns, Mr. President.
06:19So we're here to rescue you.
06:21Oh, is that why you brought your team?
06:23Now I get it.
06:24Between us, the lonesome cowboy, who doesn't wash, talk, or smile.
06:28A bit outdated and cliche, if you know what I mean.
06:31Does make me sad, though.
06:32Are your defenses strong?
06:33Yes.
06:34Of course, at least so far.
06:36They attacked us by surprise, but my men fought tooth and nail.
06:40I sent a fire team behind enemy lines to neutralize their cannons.
06:43The mission must have been successful, otherwise they would have wiped us out.
06:46But none of them came back alive.
06:48Ever since then, we've held on.
06:50Did you try to escape?
06:51Of course, but from above, they've got us surrounded on all three sides.
06:55And ever since they captured our wagon over there, they've closed our rear flank.
06:58Okay, we're surrounded.
07:01However, luckily, we have an excellent sniper to keep the enemy in check.
07:07Me.
07:19I've always been a Wild West man at heart.
07:21I can feel it on my bones.
07:23It awakens something in me.
07:24I feel so much more alive.
07:25And if there's one thing that I've learned so far, is that the River Rat needs to come home right
07:30now.
07:33The River Rat needs to come home right now.
07:36The River Rat can't right now?
07:38It's a code.
07:39I sent him to retrieve the ammo off the bodies.
07:42River Rat Bambini!
07:44I mean Corporal Bambini!
07:45Come back right away!
07:48Impossible!
07:49What do you mean impossible?
07:49What's wrong with you?
07:51What are you waiting for, Bambini?
07:53For Congress to pass a law against lazy admins?
07:57Look over there.
08:01Ah, you must be one of the men I set to sabotage the cannons over there.
08:11Come on, hurry up!
08:16That's all?
08:17How many are there?
08:1837.
08:20Count them again.
08:25I lost hope, Sergeant.
08:29Pierce, Mr. President.
08:36I'm the only survivor.
08:38It's as bad as Gettysburg.
08:40It's not a pretty sight.
08:42Permission to resupply and go back and fight, Mr. President.
08:45All their cannons are destroyed, but they still have shooters.
08:48Nice work, Sergeant.
08:49Come on.
08:50Hey, the other side of the lines.
08:53Did you see where the enemy was hiding?
08:54Yeah.
08:55Why?
08:57Because we're gonna need you.
09:04Well, we don't have enough bullets to hold them off.
09:06Oh, well, Bambini can always go and fight some.
09:09That won't help in the long run.
09:12Mr. President, we have to attempt a breakout.
09:14You want us to flee?
09:15Like Southerners?
09:15I don't take sides, Mr. President.
09:17I take action.
09:19This is the rallying point.
09:21We are in the middle.
09:23The enemy is here and here.
09:27Because you already eliminated 23 of their men, they will have to redeploy.
09:31He's right.
09:32Thanks to the President's sharpshooting on their left flank, they all rallied here and found shelter on higher ground.
09:39Which means that by crossing both of their firing angles...
09:46Now there's a blind spot.
09:48But the last ten yards before the rallying point is exposed to rain.
09:51Which means we'll die.
09:54Unless, of course, we could cover our entire bodies with metal plates.
09:58Look at these.
09:59They put a bunch of these all over the wagons.
10:01We'll slide these under our clothes to protect us.
10:04We're gonna destroy them.
10:06Mr. President, with all due respect to you, I honestly doubt...
10:10Well, if push comes to shove, it fails.
10:12We run away.
10:13Z wins.
10:14The system collapses.
10:15She kills people and makes Bampini her toy.
10:17Wait, what?
10:17No, why would I become her toy?
10:19And as for me, I'll fake my own death.
10:22Then I'll come join your little team.
10:24Then, all together, we can go to the plains of South Dakota.
10:27Just a bunch of outlaws hunting outlaws.
10:30Tracking men and rewards.
10:31The Renegades.
10:33Okay.
10:33We'll re-evacuate in two separate groups.
10:36You three, go with Pierce and Bampini to find reinforcements.
10:38They've already crossed enemy lines.
10:39They'll be able to guide you.
10:40The men and I will create a diversion to fool them.
10:43They'll concentrate their gunfire on us so you can escape.
10:46We'll hold them for as long as necessary.
10:51Let's go.
11:04You can't stay here.
11:05I mean, we need you.
11:07With us.
11:08Right now they need my help here.
11:10What if something goes wrong?
11:14I've got things to tell you.
11:15Well, one more reason to save the country and its freedom of speech.
11:23Don't worry.
11:35You'll take care of the girls.
11:36I mean, all of them.
11:39Everyone.
11:54Hey, you okay?
11:56No.
11:59For courage.
12:06Mr. President?
12:08Would you like some?
12:11Just a second.
12:12Can I try?
12:23I know that smell.
12:24And I know you.
12:26It's chloroform.
12:27It's chloro-what?
12:31What the hell's going on, Pierce?
12:33That's not Pierce.
12:34He took the uniform off his dead body.
12:37But he forgot this little detail.
12:42The red badge of courage.
12:43It's for those who fought in Pittsburgh.
12:46Except he couldn't have been there.
12:47It happened on the same day as the worst battle he ever saw.
12:50Gettysburg.
12:51Almost 200 miles from Pittsburgh.
12:55Sentinels!
12:56Sentinels!
13:07Sentinels!
13:09Sentinels!
13:11Sentinels!
13:14Sentinels!
13:17Sentinels!
13:17Sentinels!
13:18Sentinels!
13:19Sentinels!
13:20Sentinels!
13:20Sentinels!
13:21Sentinels!
13:23Sentinels!
13:24Sentinels!
13:25Sentinels!
13:25Sentinels!
13:25Sentinels!
13:26Sentinels!
13:26Sentinels!
13:33I don't know.
14:13What are you doing?
14:15What are you doing?
14:19But the right question isn't that.
14:21The right question is, are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
14:41We've been waiting for your signal.
15:12The right question is, are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
15:21The right question is, are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
16:07I put you all the way over here so you can enjoy the scent of the pine trees.
16:12It's impressive how smells can bring back memories.
16:15As I recall, we're not far away.
16:18It's like coming home.
16:20You can smell gunpowder, fear, blood.
16:34Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you.
16:36Look at the one who spared your life.
16:39When he could have easily killed you instead.
17:10It's time for you to sign, Lincoln.
17:13Eight letters, one period, and it's over.
17:23You really think I'm going to hand you over New Mexico?
17:25Yes, and in all legality.
17:26A first step in renewing the United States.
17:29We'll plunge it into chaos?
17:30How dare you mention chaos.
17:32When you've destroyed all our values, you promised everything to the people, including freedom to all.
17:37Freedom to speak, think, and own land.
17:39That's not what the people need.
17:40All they need is order and rules to follow to know where their place is.
17:43So I'll make sure it all gets restored.
17:45I'll empathy and progress, even your pathetic abolition.
17:49I'll dismantle everything.
17:50Yeah, great fantasy you've got there.
17:53How many men do you have left?
17:54Four.
17:56That's the exact number of times I'll politely ask you.
17:58And I politely ask you to fuck off now.
18:05One down.
18:06And next will be your private.
18:08And I'll rip his eyes out.
18:09After that, your corporal.
18:10Not her toy.
18:12Not her toy.
18:28I'll sign.
18:33I'll sign.
18:46This is bad.
19:09Why are you smiling?
19:11I just located my finger.
19:13And that makes you smile?
19:16Yeah, it's the right one.
19:23Thank you for such a presidential gesture.
19:25And God bless America.
19:27My dad will bless your America.
19:30Maybe you should ask him for me.
19:54Long live this state of new New Mexico.
19:59This is the start of a new era.
20:03Finally, we have obtained what we wanted.
20:09Go, go, go.
20:15The declaration.
20:17She stole my declaration.
20:21Come on, guys.
20:23Let's find her now.
20:25Piece of shit.
20:38Your daughter's got courage.
20:40You didn't raise her so badly after all.
20:42It almost pains me to have to do this.
20:46Damn it.
20:53You have to save our Louise.
20:54You have to save our Louise.
21:02You have to save our God.
21:03You have to save me.
21:08My God.
21:19I can't save my mum.
21:20I can't save my mum.
21:21I can't save my mum.
21:22I can't save my mum.
21:23No.
21:26I can't save my mum.
21:34Let's go.
22:00Let's go.
22:26Mr. President.
22:32Wow.
22:34Now that's what you call protection.
23:04I'm going to kill you.
23:05I'm going to kill you.
23:08I'm going to kill you.
23:59No sudden moves.
24:01Gun in your holster.
24:04My trigger finger is twitchy.
24:12Shoot!
24:22Look at his hand.
24:25He won't.
24:26He's afraid he'll miss.
24:27He also knows I'm a quicker draw than him.
24:36In order not to tremble, you must have a heart of stone.
24:40But you decided to let them back into your life.
24:48Now you're paralyzed.
24:48If you're paralyzed, you won't be able to save her.
24:51Yes, you will!
24:53Shoot!
25:07Do you hear it coming, Luke?
25:13The miracle?
25:15It's that special moment when lightning strikes the same place where it did before.
25:23Today's second lesson is, in the west.
25:26If someone wears sleeves, it's not because they're cold.
25:29It's to hide the cards.
25:41Do you see Luke?
25:42He's a cheater.
25:44That's what makes him quicker.
25:45He's a cheater.
26:41Oh, my God.
27:09Oh, my God.
27:37I told you I'd kill you.
27:59I wanted to know what it felt like to be the real calamity.
28:08I wanted to know what it felt like to be the real calamity.
28:30He's one of our most remarkable figures, a true hero from the Wild West, someone who I must admit I've
28:39always been a fan of, the one and only Calamity Jane.
28:58Mr. President, this is an honor.
29:03Excuse me.
29:04Sorry.
29:05Do you mind holding this one, please?
29:08What are you doing here?
29:10Oh, well, I'm here with Mrs. Jane for her book.
29:12What do you mean?
29:13She didn't mention it?
29:14We're relaunching the franchise as a photo note.
29:16Calamity Jane, Volume 3.
29:18Title's mine.
29:19Real feats caught in the act.
29:20There's action and emotion 100% authentic.
29:22She told me the whole story, like earlier in the forest when she took on 32 desperados before saving you
29:28all.
29:29Thank goodness she was there.
29:33Well, then, um, did she save us to save us or for her book then?
29:40Muybridge, photograph.
29:42Find your places, please.
29:45Are you ready, Mr. President?
29:50Stand still.
30:14That was really super intense.
30:17We said a lot of things.
30:20And we avoided saying a lot of things.
30:24This means you'll be leaving, am I right?
30:28Come on, Muybridge, we're out of here.
30:30I've got work to do.
30:31Coming, coming.
30:33Joe's on the run again.
30:34He robbed Marshall City.
30:35You know him.
30:36While he was playing Marshall protecting the bank, he ended up robbing the bank.
30:43Okay, I think I have everything.
30:46Nope, hold on.
30:47I'm sorry.
30:48Miss, over there.
30:49What's your name?
30:51Me?
30:51Yes, you.
30:52What's your name?
30:53It's for the book.
30:55Your name is Louise.
30:56Louise.
31:29Lucky.
31:35Her name's Lucky Louise.
32:03On three.
32:05One, two.
32:07Uno.
32:07Two.
32:09Two.
32:15One.
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