- 10 hours ago
- #db
SEX EDUCATION BY MY BEST FRIEND #DB - FULL MOVIE
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TVTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring, you like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32When are you going to tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valleyqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Oh, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:57Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:03Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of castle claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:16But on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my gosh, it's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot!
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:15Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:22What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:34Yeah, I break a lot of hearts, buttercup.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:44Eh...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:52Alright.
00:02:53I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:42I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Who's fighting the new girl?
00:03:56Who's leaving the new girl?
00:03:57Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:30Hi.
00:04:31I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:46Let's go.
00:04:50There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:02Oh my gosh.
00:05:14Aw, you're welcome new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you catfishing?
00:05:27Some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Give it back.
00:05:31Hold on.
00:05:33Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:39Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online lover?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:56No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, Belle Queen goes to the school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmonds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmonds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:23Woo!
00:06:23Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:40Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:44Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chance it's Jen.
00:06:55So is it...
00:06:56She does look kinda cute.
00:07:04It's you.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:16Hey there buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking Haley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning or...
00:07:24My name's Haley.
00:07:26Wow.
00:07:27Haley.
00:07:27I think you uh...
00:07:29You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:33What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:36Oh no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:43You're just a man child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her must have filled an eye exam.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today.
00:08:07I lost the game.
00:08:08I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:13And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:17I want to be with you.
00:08:19And you want to be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soul mate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:30Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:46No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Ugh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:05Confidence.
00:09:06You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:13Okay.
00:09:14Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:16Ah!
00:09:20Oh my God, seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:24Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:30Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think that you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:35Get out!
00:09:36Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:39Ow!
00:09:39Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:09:45Please!
00:09:49Follow me!
00:09:51Bye, bye.
00:09:51I'll be back.
00:09:52Bye.
00:09:56Bye.
00:09:59Bye.
00:10:04Bye.
00:10:07Bye.
00:10:09Bye.
00:10:17you're helping me
00:10:18I won't, I didn't point on it, but here we are
00:10:28excuse you, these boobs are for someone else
00:10:30I don't have a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32that is shocking
00:10:33yeah, actually
00:10:35and he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him flirting with me
00:10:38flirting?
00:10:38yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:39I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:40my thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:42funny
00:10:44okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:48fine by me
00:10:51oh, and um
00:10:53well, the purple brawl, by the way
00:10:56I like it in a weird way
00:10:57not in my type, but
00:10:59you know, power theory, whatever
00:11:01did you just get out of here?
00:11:11hopefully guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:15Jen, red alert
00:11:16Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:23don't be a coward, just send it
00:11:25Jen
00:11:30oh my god
00:11:32here goes nothing
00:11:40still no response?
00:11:42don't freak out
00:11:43he's probably just busy
00:11:48give it back
00:11:49why?
00:11:49you don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:54honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it
00:11:58did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59mm-hmm
00:12:00got it
00:12:03what are you doing?
00:12:14oh my god
00:12:17oh my god
00:12:19oh my god
00:12:19oh my god
00:12:20oh my god
00:12:29oh shit
00:12:31Oh
00:12:32Yeah, what's going on dude your enemies new just got put up on the big screen. What's yeah?
00:12:53Those are photoshopped
00:13:10Oh my brave night, I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:19My god, oh cool your enemies kind of hot
00:13:23Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:30No
00:13:50My school enemy is my online girlfriend
00:13:57Stop it
00:13:58Oh my god
00:14:09You okay?
00:14:12Give that to me
00:14:19Now give the phone back Jan
00:14:23What the hell Cole?
00:14:24I thought you'd be happy
00:14:30How does it feel being exposed to the whole school not good huh now if you don't delete it off
00:14:34your phone
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse
00:14:40Why are you even defending her? She's the loser who has nude photos for random men
00:14:46And he's got more personality than all of you combined and if you mess with her you mess with me
00:14:50you hear me?
00:14:55Hey
00:14:56Hey we are you?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone
00:15:01Hey
00:15:02Hey we
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole and he said we were enemies
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late honey
00:15:19Love you mom
00:15:22Wait mom
00:15:26Do people change?
00:15:28Like
00:15:30Can a spoiled brat
00:15:32Somehow
00:15:34Become nice?
00:15:36Well maybe just give them a second chance
00:15:56Top day huh?
00:15:57Oh
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:16:00They're my favorite
00:16:01Mm
00:16:02Noted
00:16:02Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship
00:16:10Oh
00:16:11I'm really proud of you
00:16:13And then there's this guy
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me but at the same time he's super contradictory
00:16:19It's so confusing
00:16:20Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:23Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:25No
00:16:25I'm not into this guy
00:16:26I like you
00:16:27Only you
00:16:34I really liked your photo by the way
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person
00:16:41That sounds amazing
00:16:42When?
00:16:43Where?
00:16:44About after school
00:16:44At the balcony
00:16:45I'll bring followers
00:16:47Deal
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole
00:17:18Call me father
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today
00:17:21Defending that nobody
00:17:23Haley girl
00:17:24He was not a nobody dad
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:36I know what Haley is Cole
00:17:38Her mother works as a maid at my office
00:17:41That whole family is trash
00:17:43Stay away from her
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:46Stay away from Haley Cole
00:17:48Or I'll fire her mother
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18
00:17:55Soon I'll have my inheritance
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait
00:17:58But she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is safe
00:18:04You're sick
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future
00:18:14Oh, hi
00:18:16I'm Haley
00:18:16Yes
00:18:19So nice to meet you
00:18:20God
00:18:21I'd give anything just to hear her say my name
00:18:24But the moment she knows
00:18:25I lose her forever
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers
00:18:30You're so nice
00:18:36Guacamole wizard
00:18:37Bail
00:18:41Guacamole wizard
00:18:42Ew
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:47Pathetic
00:18:48Maybe he's married
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat
00:18:51And maybe he's sitting on his back video
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble
00:18:58Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble
00:19:02We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch
00:19:04And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich
00:19:08Eat it
00:19:22I told me
00:19:23So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash
00:19:32Guacamole wizard
00:19:33Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:34Oh, and by the way
00:19:36Cole's not gonna come save you
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich
00:19:39Like me
00:19:44I'm nothing like you
00:19:49Yeah, I'm nothing like you
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up
00:19:58Cole, we were kidding
00:19:59It's ketchup
00:20:00Pick
00:20:02That bloody thing up
00:20:05I figure you're gonna record this
00:20:15Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hailey anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have leverage here
00:20:20Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are
00:20:22You wanna hold that thing next to your face
00:20:24And do what I say
00:20:27I
00:20:28Will leave Hailey alone
00:20:32I will leave Hailey alone
00:20:37Got it?
00:20:39Let's go
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:45Got it?
00:20:46Let's go
00:20:50Uh, thank you
00:20:57Wow
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just
00:21:07I happened to see you
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah, my boyfriend actually
00:21:15Well, he
00:21:17He kinda stood me up, so
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:22Maybe you gotta do it nice today
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:28You thought we were enemies
00:21:30I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though
00:21:33So
00:21:33Am I that annoying?
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers
00:21:37Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole-Edness?
00:21:40Cause it's not gonna work
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses
00:21:49How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:55He...
00:21:56He makes me feel safe
00:21:58You wouldn't understand it, though
00:22:04You don't understand better than you think
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think
00:22:11I don't see
00:22:14How you touch on my booth
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see
00:22:29No, my...
00:22:30My boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:35In the game
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you that slow on the game, too?
00:22:55I can see why he likes you
00:23:07I can't do this
00:23:09I love my boyfriend
00:23:10And you will never understand that
00:23:12He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:16He loves me for who I am
00:23:18That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be
00:23:36Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:41There's nothing
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed
00:23:53Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life
00:24:02What was I thinking?
00:24:04We are from two different worlds
00:24:06He just wants to play with me
00:24:07But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I... got into a car accident
00:24:19Really? Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:23He was right
00:24:24Who? Nobody
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at? I want to come visit you
00:24:28No, no, you can't
00:24:29I look miserable now
00:24:31You need to see me in style
00:24:33Fine, if you say so
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Hell yeah, we are
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case
00:25:03Oh, you
00:25:05Oh, me
00:25:06Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework
00:25:23You finished it?
00:25:25It's okay
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more
00:25:28I'm not that curious about you actually
00:25:30I'm curious about you though
00:25:32Like, uh, how close are you with your mom?
00:25:35What is he trying to do?
00:25:37It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom
00:25:40I'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:45Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:57So, are you going to prom?
00:25:59I did well, I don't know
00:26:01So you have a date?
00:26:03Or shall I say victim?
00:26:05Are you jealous of me?
00:26:06Are you jealous?
00:26:07Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want me
00:26:12You are so full of yourself
00:26:14You can do this on your own
00:26:16Yeah
00:26:19No way
00:26:20It's a self-locking door
00:26:22Really?
00:26:23The score is going to be back in an hour
00:26:25I'm sure it'll be fine
00:26:25I'm stuck here with you for a full hour
00:26:28No, okay
00:26:29Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:30But, I think maybe we can pick up where we left off
00:26:34Or, maybe try something new
00:26:36We're keeping our distance this time actually
00:26:39Yeah
00:26:49That was my first kiss
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:55It was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:57And not just bumping lips
00:27:10You're really good at this
00:27:11One day I want you to regret it
00:27:14You know
00:27:15We can do more if we want
00:27:31You know
00:27:32Hey, I've been wanting back a lot more than you think
00:27:35So you want me?
00:27:39I think you know which I want you
00:27:45Do you want me?
00:27:47I want you
00:27:53Oh shit
00:27:57Anyone in here?
00:28:00Oh my god
00:28:01How long have you two been in here?
00:28:03I really need to change this lock
00:28:05Are you two okay?
00:28:06Oh?
00:28:07Yeah, yeah, we're good
00:28:09We're okay?
00:28:10Okay, nice
00:28:18You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:21Hey, wait
00:28:22It's just hormones
00:28:24Jake!
00:28:25Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax, I'm not dead
00:28:29Wait, car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:37I gotta go
00:28:46Guacamole wizard?
00:28:47Huh?
00:28:50Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:52Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers
00:29:06She was in a real car accident
00:29:08According to you, so is guacamole wizard
00:29:10I'm not gonna make this anymore
00:29:12Cole, wait
00:29:15Oh shit
00:29:20What's up guys?
00:29:21Um, we were just chatting
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:27Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey!
00:29:31I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks
00:29:34They're your favorite, right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:29:43They're my favorite
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:54A dickhead?
00:29:57Will you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:58You came to my table, bro
00:30:00And knocked my ball away
00:30:08There it goes again
00:30:09Cole is jealous
00:30:10We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:12We don't have a problem
00:30:14We don't have a problem
00:30:16Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball
00:30:18And we don't have a problem
00:30:20Jake, it would take me forever
00:30:21To find one of your balls
00:30:24I have the ball now
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Hailey?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:39What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:44Yeah, just one little catch
00:30:45You have to pretend to like Hailey Roth
00:30:50Alright, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports
00:30:53If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk
00:30:57I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole
00:31:00But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end
00:31:05You've literally been staring for five minutes
00:31:06I'm thinking
00:31:07About the report or about him?
00:31:09Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:11We literally made out of a sojourn
00:31:14Maybe I've known Jake longer
00:31:16No, you don't
00:31:17How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else
00:31:19Stop acting like you're serious about me
00:31:21You have no idea
00:31:27Oh my god!
00:31:30Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:31Oh my god!
00:31:44Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:59Too cheesy?
00:32:01No, it's cute
00:32:03The accident?
00:32:05The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:07He is Guacamole Wizard
00:32:08So, um
00:32:10What do you think?
00:32:11You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:13I
00:32:14I should feel happy
00:32:16But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:19Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:26Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:28My problem here, dude
00:32:29Is that me and my lab partner have work to do
00:32:31And you're out here to strike me with bad puns
00:32:33Wow
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man
00:32:37Oh
00:32:38That's weak shit?
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:42Oh my god
00:32:50Wow
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59Wait, I can't
00:33:00Colt, put me down
00:33:01Put me down
00:33:02Put me down
00:33:05Don't do that again
00:33:19New couple alert
00:33:21Fuck off, Jen
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Cole?
00:33:24You and I, we're not that different
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance
00:33:28I think that we would make a great match
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me to prom
00:33:33I might say yes
00:33:36Jen, you wanna go to prom
00:33:38With me
00:33:40Jen, you wanna go to prom
00:33:42With me
00:33:43We're both hot
00:33:44And we're both rich
00:33:45And our dads have been in business
00:33:47Like, forever, so
00:33:49How romantic
00:33:50I think I'll pass
00:33:53You're gonna regret this, Cole Edmonds
00:33:55You're gonna regret this, Cole Edmonds
00:33:58Oh, here they come
00:34:01If I message corcamole wizard
00:34:02I wonder if Jake's phone will ding
00:34:06What should we wear to prom?
00:34:08The funeral and the dean's list
00:34:10And the dean's list
00:34:12Wow
00:34:12Yeah
00:34:14Yeah
00:34:18Um, I'll talk to you later
00:34:19I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:21Okay, yeah, I'll see you later
00:34:22Bye
00:34:23He's so different
00:34:24Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:29Hayley?
00:34:38Geez
00:34:41Here, I'll get it
00:34:47I, uh, make it help
00:34:52Oh
00:34:53You're scared of me seeing all the girls on your phone?
00:34:55I don't care
00:34:56I do care
00:34:59Here we are
00:35:16Okay, I'll put a problem with Jake
00:35:18I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me
00:35:21He doesn't even know you
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:23How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:25That's something I've only ever talked about
00:35:27Because
00:35:28I
00:35:28I
00:35:29Pay attention to what you like
00:35:31I
00:35:31I noticed it at lunch
00:35:33The first day
00:35:35You were watching me?
00:35:37Just
00:35:38Just don't go to prom a shake
00:35:54Milf!
00:35:56Colt is talking to Hayley
00:35:57Again!
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:03Obviously I do
00:36:04Okay, then break them up, idiot
00:36:08Um, what do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas
00:36:16Hey, look
00:36:19Someone will take you to prom
00:36:20Alright, I promise
00:36:21Yeah?
00:36:22Really, like who?
00:36:23I mean, the whole school hates me
00:36:25Except for Jake
00:36:27And you, but you're not asking me
00:36:31Hey!
00:36:32Oh, hey Jake
00:36:34Hey Hal, um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night
00:36:40The other night
00:36:41The other night
00:36:41Yeah, it was
00:36:42So
00:36:45Sexy
00:36:45You're so sexy
00:36:47Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:51I hate to break it to you asshole, but she's my prom date
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the pep room
00:37:03Oh!
00:37:04Oh shit! Look up!
00:37:06Oh shit!
00:37:07Oh shit!
00:37:09Oh my god!
00:37:23Stop! Guys! Stop it!
00:37:25Stop! Stop!
00:37:26What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:30Shit! It's Principal Stevens
00:37:32I've got to save Cole
00:37:33I mean Jake
00:37:34I've got to save Jake
00:37:39Oh!
00:37:41Oh my god!
00:37:42Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry
00:37:45Hailey Rock
00:37:47That's detention
00:37:48After school
00:37:50Don't be late
00:38:06What are you doing here?
00:38:08I'm gonna keep you company
00:38:11That's the least I could do after you saved my rest today
00:38:15The locker thing, that was an accident
00:38:18Oh, sure
00:38:20So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No!
00:38:26He lied about that
00:38:27I don't know why though
00:38:28I don't know why though
00:38:29I don't know why though
00:38:29Good, you know, father that asshole every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:36Thinking about him touching you, kissing you, I could kill him.
00:38:43Promise me you won't go to prom with him.
00:38:48Okay, fine. I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:08Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:29Sorry. I tripped.
00:39:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:33What? It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:39They're dead. They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:48Oh.
00:39:49What are you, are you almost crying?
00:39:52It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:57Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12Mrs. Gorman, it's burning.
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:15Oh, please, it's baking soda and water. You're fine.
00:40:17Detention. Today, after school.
00:40:20Shh.
00:40:32Jake, hey.
00:40:34Oh, uh, sorry.
00:40:36Gotta get to student council.
00:40:39Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:42The rice trick?
00:40:44The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:47You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:41:03Hey.
00:41:04Um, Ella.
00:41:06It's Emma.
00:41:08Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:09Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:20Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:22We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:29It means...
00:41:29It means I can't...
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online.
00:41:37He's really important to me.
00:41:42And...
00:41:43I'm sure...
00:41:44You're really important to him.
00:41:55You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and...
00:42:00Big ol' ego and rich kid for Bronco.
00:42:03Okay, okay.
00:42:03I-I get it.
00:42:07You're kinda sweet.
00:42:13Hey, look at that.
00:42:15Oh my God!
00:42:16Thank you!
00:42:19Oh my God!
00:42:20You're a miracle worker.
00:42:27Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:29You're doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:31Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:34Whatever.
00:42:41Oh my God.
00:42:49Oh, morning, Valley Whore!
00:42:51How are things in the castle?
00:42:58Valley Whore?
00:42:59What are they talking about?
00:43:15Guacamole Wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:19Guacamole Wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:23Oh my God, someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:26Touch me, Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:30Yeah.
00:43:30Hey, Valley Whore, show them what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go.
00:43:52Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:00You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh no, it wasn't me.
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:05But I definitely gotta reap the benefits.
00:44:07What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:12No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:14Hey everyone, I think Valley Whore's a catfish.
00:44:18Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it, stop, stop!
00:44:49Stop!
00:44:52Stop!
00:44:52Well, let's hit the janitor some time.
00:44:57Jay!
00:44:58Hey!
00:45:00Now's the time.
00:45:02Tell them.
00:45:03Tell them what?
00:45:04That you're Guacamole Wizard.
00:45:07Who's Guacamole Wizard?
00:45:10Here you go.
00:45:13Oh my God, did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:17Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:23Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:28Jake, is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:34Sorry.
00:45:35It was nothing personal?
00:45:42Yeah, nothing personal, huh?
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:47Oh!
00:45:48Oh!
00:45:49All right, all right, all right, enough!
00:45:52What in the world is going on here?
00:45:55Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:56That's all him.
00:45:57Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:04Let me get this straight.
00:46:06You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:11It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:13Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:17Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:19You think that's what it could be?
00:46:21Who cares?
00:46:22I care.
00:46:23And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:26So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:28What?
00:46:29Not over my dead body.
00:46:30Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:33I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:35No, no, please don't.
00:46:37Please.
00:46:37Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:40Max's dad called.
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:43You're gonna go.
00:46:44And you're gonna ask Jen to prom.
00:46:46End of discussion.
00:46:53Come on, you big coward.
00:46:54Message him.
00:46:56Just do it, just do it.
00:47:00You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:08I could never think that.
00:47:15But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:17Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:19I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:25I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:41Okay.
00:47:42You got this, Haley.
00:47:44Just take a deep breath.
00:47:45You got this.
00:47:47You got this.
00:47:51You look beautiful.
00:47:55Thank you, Mom.
00:48:14Hey, Haley.
00:48:15I'm glad you came.
00:48:16You look so pretty.
00:48:18Hi.
00:48:18Hey, Max.
00:48:19Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:21I mean...
00:48:22Nah, it's just my parents' blood money.
00:48:23You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:26They don't care about shit.
00:48:27Get drunk, girl.
00:48:28Woo!
00:48:31Yeah.
00:48:42What are you doing here?
00:48:43Valley whore?
00:48:46Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:49Hey everyone, let's give it up for Valley whore.
00:48:51Valley whore!
00:48:56Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:58What have I even done to you?
00:48:59To me?
00:49:00Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community.
00:49:02Because those little cringy messages on your castle game.
00:49:06Those are concerning.
00:49:07Actually, kind of a little bit of a perv.
00:49:09Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:11She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:13Pervy princess!
00:49:16Pervy princess!
00:49:18Pervy princess!
00:49:19Pervy princess!
00:49:20Pervy princess!
00:49:21Pervy princess!
00:49:22Pervy princess!
00:49:23Let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:24Leave me alone.
00:49:27Is there a fire?
00:49:28Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:43Oh?
00:50:21Are you... him?
00:50:23Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:27Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:29Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:31No, I'm not.
00:50:32Yes, you are.
00:50:34It's okay.
00:50:34You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:37Hm.
00:50:38So you two.
00:50:39This whole time.
00:50:43Oh, my God.
00:50:44I am such an idiot.
00:50:46Haley, wait.
00:50:51Haley, look.
00:50:53Please, at least take my jackets.
00:50:54You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:58Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:59I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:01Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:02I guess you.
00:51:03Obviously.
00:51:04The white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:06I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:09And what about guacamole, was it?
00:51:12What are you...
00:51:21Who is that?
00:51:22I don't know.
00:51:23Just the devil.
00:51:26Get in the car.
00:51:29I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:32Get in the car.
00:51:33Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:36Haley.
00:51:37I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:40Hi, Mr. Evans.
00:51:41So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:47Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:48My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:53And that's not you.
00:51:55You will be forgotten.
00:51:57You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:58And your mom works for me.
00:52:01Stay away from him.
00:52:02Or I swear to God, your mother is fire.
00:52:06Dad, stop!
00:52:08Don't you touch my family.
00:52:10I'll stay away.
00:52:12Haley, come on.
00:52:13You don't mean that.
00:52:16I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:19I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:25I hate everything about you.
00:52:27I hate all of it.
00:52:28I don't want any part of it.
00:52:31So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:35Haley!
00:52:39What the fuck with this?
00:52:41That's me.
00:52:44No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:47Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:50Hey, well, you're not that real love.
00:52:51Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:53I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:57Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:06Hi, Haley.
00:53:08I'm Emma.
00:53:09I know who you are.
00:53:10Right.
00:53:11I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped and ruin your life, so I wanted to return your
00:53:17laptop to you.
00:53:18Goodness new.
00:53:23Oh, wow.
00:53:25Thanks, Emma.
00:53:27Okay, bye.
00:53:32One down, one to go.
00:53:35You're so cool.
00:53:37I know, Emma.
00:53:38Want to go to prom?
00:53:39Why not?
00:53:41Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:48Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:50Hi, Max.
00:53:51And Max's friend.
00:53:52Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:54Cole's grounded.
00:53:55Oh, he is?
00:53:57But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:00What can I say, Max?
00:54:02Actions have consequences.
00:54:04Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:06Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:12We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:15Cole?
00:54:16My son, Cole, reviewing budgets.
00:54:19He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:21Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:23And we just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very
00:54:27important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:39Go away!
00:54:43Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:46Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:48I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:51Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:52What?
00:54:53What's going on?
00:54:54Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:56You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:58You can be together.
00:54:59Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:04No.
00:55:05I'll tell her myself.
00:55:07Stick me in your car.
00:55:14Come on, the wizard.
00:55:17Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:20I just need some time alone.
00:55:28Open the door.
00:55:31Wait, what?
00:55:32It's here?
00:55:41It's you.
00:55:43I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:47Haley, I've wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:50My dad threatened to follow your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:55I was.
00:55:55Look, I got my inheritance.
00:55:57And I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:12Haley, I understand that this changes things.
00:56:16If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:36Nicole, I love you.
00:56:38You do?
00:56:40Yes, you idiot.
00:56:41I've loved you for months.
00:56:43I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though because I had to be loyal
00:56:48to him and...
00:56:50But you're him.
00:56:52You didn't expect her.
00:56:54I...
00:56:54I mean, I...
00:56:56I always hoped it was you.
00:56:59Until you hoped?
00:57:01Yes.
00:57:02I hoped it was you.
00:57:04You were always there for me.
00:57:07You're hot, man.
00:57:10You're really fucking hot.
00:57:16Hey, uh...
00:57:17You know what those things that we could do?
00:57:19You don't.
00:57:21Yeah.
00:57:24Take my clothes off.
00:57:26Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:30I'm so real you
00:57:49Okay, so what do you think?
00:57:5210 out of 10
00:57:53Yeah, we'll do it again
00:57:56I'll get sex with sex with me specifically
00:57:58I've only ever had sex with you specifically
00:58:02Alright, that's fair
00:58:03I'll take that as a win
00:58:10What is my life now?
00:58:12Am I being nice to Cole Edmonds?
00:58:15Oh god, no
00:58:16I fully expect you to
00:58:18continue to berate me endlessly
00:58:21No, I'm just
00:58:21I'm just lost behind it
00:58:24There's always been lost behind it
00:58:25I'll take a minute now
00:58:27Stop it
00:58:30Um
00:58:32Is it promenade?
00:58:35I think you know if it's promenade
00:58:38Okay
00:58:39But the real question is
00:58:41Do you got a date?
00:58:44Cole, are you asking me a prom?
00:58:46Oh, I would have asked you earlier
00:58:48But Jay kind of gave me to the gym
00:58:50Oh god, please don't mention his name again
00:58:51I don't want to hear it
00:58:53Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice
00:58:54But I don't even have a dress
00:58:57But I don't even have a dress
00:59:02I just slept with Cole Edmonds
00:59:05And I'm in love with Cole Edmonds
00:59:06Who would have guessed?
00:59:11I thought
00:59:13Only the best for my princess
00:59:15Where did you get that?
00:59:18I might have gotten you a dress
00:59:20On the off chance
00:59:21That you
00:59:23Might have wanted to go to prom with me
00:59:24And maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:28Of course I'll go to prom with you
00:59:34Mr. Edmonds
00:59:35I didn't expect you to be here
00:59:37Cole
00:59:38Are you here?
00:59:40Cole
00:59:41Are you here?
00:59:43Mr. Edmonds
00:59:44You can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:47I see you Cole
00:59:47You are in big trouble
01:00:05Hey, uh
01:00:07You almost done in there?
01:00:08You try changing into an evening gown
01:00:10In a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:13Okay, I'm ready
01:00:26What do you think?
01:00:30My God
01:00:31You are the most beautiful thing
01:00:33I have ever seen
01:00:36Uh-uh-uh
01:00:37I just hunched over in a car mirror
01:00:39To do this lipstick
01:00:40You're not messing it up
01:00:41For at least 20 minutes
01:00:4320 more minutes
01:00:44We're in
01:00:45Deal
01:00:49Thank you all for using
01:00:51The prom voting site
01:00:52To cast your votes
01:00:53I hear we have a winner
01:00:57And your 2026 prom queen is
01:01:02Jen Longfellow
01:01:04Thank you
01:01:06Oh my God
01:01:08Thank you guys so much
01:01:10Seriously, this makes the world to me
01:01:12I mean, like
01:01:13Who else would win, right?
01:01:15Oh, this is just the perfect moment
01:01:21Oh my God
01:01:23That's Haley and Cole
01:01:25It was fun
01:01:27Since when did you get
01:01:33This time that's up
01:01:35No
01:01:35But who cares
01:01:39Hell yeah
01:01:43Ew, literally, what the fuck
01:01:45Hell yeah
01:01:46Language
01:01:46I am the queen, okay
01:01:48She's just a little
01:01:49Purvy princess
01:01:50Come on
01:01:51Everyone say it with me
01:01:52Purvy princess
01:01:54Purvy princess
01:01:55Purvy princess
01:02:00Wait
01:02:02Wait, wait, wait
01:02:03What are those?
01:02:04Those are texts
01:02:04Between me and my dad
01:02:05Make Cole Edmonds
01:02:07Fall in love with you
01:02:09His dad's month
01:02:10Is essential
01:02:11To funding my campaign
01:02:12Don't worry
01:02:14Daddy
01:02:14If I can't have
01:02:16No one can
01:02:17I'm gonna destroy
01:02:19Haley Roth's life
01:02:20Is this real?
01:02:22Jen's crazy
01:02:25Who did this?
01:02:26Who did this?
01:02:30What?
01:02:30You exploited me for a hacking job
01:02:32And didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:02:34You little skit
01:02:36You know, Jen
01:02:38As the principal
01:02:39I'm supposed to remain impartial
01:02:41And above all of this petty drama
01:02:44But quite frankly
01:02:46You are the worst
01:02:48And I think it's time
01:02:51That you are expelled
01:02:52From Edmonds Academy
01:02:53You can't do that
01:02:54I'm the principal
01:02:55So, uh
01:02:57Yes, I can
01:03:06There was no answering shit
01:03:08You lied to me
01:03:16Haley
01:03:17Catch
01:03:21Oh
01:03:23My princess finally has her crown
01:03:26Now all I need is my handsome prince
01:03:28Oh
01:03:29Yeah, no can do
01:03:30All I have to offer
01:03:32Is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:35And a awesome sense of humor
01:03:37Oof
01:03:38How can I refuse?
01:03:45Oh, no
01:03:46That's my dad
01:03:49We are going home
01:03:50Right now
01:03:52You disobeyed me for the last time, boy
01:03:54Yeah, I'm not a boy, dad
01:03:57You talk all the time
01:03:58About wanting a man
01:03:59That's worthy of the family last name
01:04:01Yet
01:04:02You can't see I've already become that man
01:04:05And it's because of Haley
01:04:07And you can accept that
01:04:08I'll make my own path
01:04:09And best believe me, I can
01:04:12I'll say this
01:04:14It's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole
01:04:19Joy pride
01:04:27I am so proud of you
01:04:30I can't have done with all you being by my side
01:04:33That was terrifying
01:04:35It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, well, so
01:04:39I love you, Bella Quinn
01:04:41I love you, guacamole wizard
01:04:43Oh my god, I gotta change that username
01:04:45Yeah, you do
01:04:46Yeah
01:04:51Woohoo
01:04:51Woohoo
01:04:54Woohoo
01:04:56Woohoo
01:04:57Woohoo
01:04:57Woo
01:04:57Woo
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