🏘️ Madame's Place (1982) - Season 1 Episode 2
Honey, if you can't take the heat, don't sit on Madame's couch! In Episode 2 "Guests & Gaffes", Madame welcomes a new batch of celebrity guests who quickly discover that her living room is less "cozy chat" and more "verbal obstacle course". With awkward pauses, unexpected confessions, and one guest who may have bitten off more than they can chew, Madame delivers her signature blend of brutal honesty and campy charm. Who will leave with their reputation intact... and who will become a cautionary tale?
🔹 Episode Highlights:
• Guest interview chaos: famous faces navigate Madame's unfiltered questioning style
• Awkward moments: pauses, stumbles, and surprises that make for unforgettable TV
• Madame's commentary: razor-sharp asides that cut deeper than the interview itself
• Audience reactions: the living room "studio audience" adds to the comedic tension
• Signature vintage camp: 1980s aesthetic, satire, and character comedy gold
🔹 Series Info:
• Format: Cult Comedy / Satire Talk Show / Character-Driven Serial
• Original Network: Syndicated Television (US) / International Distribution
• Episode: 2 | Title: "Guests & Gaffes"
• Setting: Madame's Lavish Living Room Set | Language: English
• Runtime: ~30 minutes
👉 Enjoying the series? Hit LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and comment: "Which guest handled Madame best? 👇" Turn on notifications 🔔 for Episode 3!
#ShowTVMovies #MadamesPlace #CultComedy #GuestsAndGaffes #S01E02 #VintageTV #SatireTalkShow #BingeWatch #CampClassic #1980sTV
⚠️ Copyright Disclaimer: This video is shared for promotional, review, and informational purposes only. All rights to "Madame's Place" belong to the respective producers and networks. This upload complies with Fair Use guidelines (Section 107, U.S. Copyright Act). No copyright infringement intended.
Honey, if you can't take the heat, don't sit on Madame's couch! In Episode 2 "Guests & Gaffes", Madame welcomes a new batch of celebrity guests who quickly discover that her living room is less "cozy chat" and more "verbal obstacle course". With awkward pauses, unexpected confessions, and one guest who may have bitten off more than they can chew, Madame delivers her signature blend of brutal honesty and campy charm. Who will leave with their reputation intact... and who will become a cautionary tale?
🔹 Episode Highlights:
• Guest interview chaos: famous faces navigate Madame's unfiltered questioning style
• Awkward moments: pauses, stumbles, and surprises that make for unforgettable TV
• Madame's commentary: razor-sharp asides that cut deeper than the interview itself
• Audience reactions: the living room "studio audience" adds to the comedic tension
• Signature vintage camp: 1980s aesthetic, satire, and character comedy gold
🔹 Series Info:
• Format: Cult Comedy / Satire Talk Show / Character-Driven Serial
• Original Network: Syndicated Television (US) / International Distribution
• Episode: 2 | Title: "Guests & Gaffes"
• Setting: Madame's Lavish Living Room Set | Language: English
• Runtime: ~30 minutes
👉 Enjoying the series? Hit LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and comment: "Which guest handled Madame best? 👇" Turn on notifications 🔔 for Episode 3!
#ShowTVMovies #MadamesPlace #CultComedy #GuestsAndGaffes #S01E02 #VintageTV #SatireTalkShow #BingeWatch #CampClassic #1980sTV
⚠️ Copyright Disclaimer: This video is shared for promotional, review, and informational purposes only. All rights to "Madame's Place" belong to the respective producers and networks. This upload complies with Fair Use guidelines (Section 107, U.S. Copyright Act). No copyright infringement intended.
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Short filmTranscript
00:02They often say she's an ageless wonder
00:06Her lustful life makes this lady change
00:10When a young man looks at Madame, she just throws herself right at him
00:15She's young at heart and still getting her kicks
00:18And at Madame's place, she's a prime time queen
00:23She stores her stuff on a TV screen
00:28Her outrageous charm builds this money farm
00:32That we call Madame's place
00:45Here at Madame's place, she's the perfect host
00:51She rocks the airwaves from host to host
00:55Her outrageous charm builds this money farm
01:00That we call Madame's place
01:16Hello, hello, Hef?
01:18Yes, madam here, darling. Yes, dear.
01:20Yeah, well, I checked my calendar and I just can't do it on that date.
01:25Yeah, I'm all booked up. I'm sorry, too, Hef. Nothing I wouldn't have enjoyed more.
01:30Maybe some of the time. Oh, good, darling.
01:33Ta-ta and say hi to Vicki and Susie and Terry and Marla and Dee Dee and Babs
01:40And the other Vicki and Brenda and Monica and Colette and Raquel.
01:45Yes, think about it then, too.
01:47Okay. Ciao, darling.
01:49Who were all those women?
01:51Oh, they were Hef's date for last evening.
01:54What was his reaction when you said no?
01:56Oh, severe disappointment.
01:58But he should know better than to ask me to do the Cinefold for less than 10 Gs.
02:03Really?
02:04What else do you have for me, Bernie?
02:06Well, the Capicelli brothers called from Reno
02:09and they would like an answer today on their proposed chain of Madame Drive-Thru marriage stands.
02:16Oh, that's not for me, darling.
02:18Call them and give them Gabor's number.
02:20Which Gabor?
02:21Doesn't matter. Take your pick. Anything else?
02:23Oh, yes. Now, the Terra Hope Terras of the Indiana Semi-Pro Soccer League want you to kick out the
02:30first ball on opening night.
02:32How much?
02:33Well, they said they only had a hundred dollars in their budget.
02:37Oh, no, no, no. I don't kick balls for a hundred dollars.
02:40Sit them a glassy and wish them well.
02:42Well, have you seen my niece, Sarah Joy?
02:44Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.
02:46Uh, she left this morning by herself to seek lodging as per your request.
02:51As per my request? I told Pinkerton to take her.
02:56Pinky!
02:57Yes, ma'am?
02:57What are you doing here?
02:59Bringing in wood for the fireplace, madam, for the hot California winter.
03:04Oh, I thought you were out with Sarah Joy, helping her find a place to live.
03:09No, madam. I didn't feel like visiting a series of bachelorette apartments in buildings named Casa de Amor.
03:16Oh, but Pinky, that girl's body is a magnet to the virile.
03:20She might as well be wearing a sign that says, if you're gonna do it, take a number and go
03:24do it.
03:27Auntie madam, I can't wait to tell you, I had the best time in Hollywood.
03:32Oh, really? Well, uh, that's wonderful, darling, but let's get to the important part.
03:36Did you find a place to live?
03:37Well, I'm not sure.
03:40Oh, you have a brochure? Let me see.
03:43Okay.
03:44Ah! Swing that butt, Garden Apartments. One key fits all doors.
03:48Who wrote this? Buddy Hackett?
03:51The only problem is that the circus couple who lives there won't be moving out until the end of the
03:56month.
03:56What's the matter? The snake pregnant?
03:59Shame, shame, shame. You've got to keep looking.
04:01Oh, madam, it's time for your favorite television show.
04:05Oh, goody, goody, goody. Sarah Joy.
04:07Thank you, Pinky. Come on, we can talk while we watch TV. You're gonna love this.
04:11Oh, not so fast. I got tiny little feet.
04:15Good.
04:16Now that's Bonnie, who used to be Bill before the operation.
04:20She recently became Keith's sister.
04:23Oh, that tickles.
04:27Speaking of sisters, how's your mama? Big Marmalina?
04:30Is she still strict with her offspring?
04:32Oh, yes, ma'am. She's quite strict as always.
04:35You know, last month my sister, Darla Gale,
04:38she announced she was going to have her first child.
04:40Mama called her a tramp.
04:42Is Darla gonna get married?
04:44Darla's been married for six years.
04:47Whee! My sister is strict.
04:49Which brings up a curious point, Sarah Joy.
04:53Why, if your mother is so strict, would she ever allow you to come all the way out to Hollywood
04:58by yourself?
05:00Um...
05:01Well, ma'am?
05:03Sarah Joy?
05:05Um...
05:05She doesn't know I'm here.
05:08Uh...
05:08What?
05:10Well, Mama would never let me come here, so I ran away.
05:14Oh, my God!
05:15My poor dear sister must be more upset than she's ever been.
05:18Even more than when they broke it to her that the Three Stooges were married.
05:22To each other?
05:23Well, you don't have to worry, madam, because I mailed her a postcard this morning from the Museum of Starlets
05:28and Stand-Ins.
05:29Oh, well, good. I'm so relieved.
05:32I tell you what, darling, come with me.
05:34If you want to act, we should find out if you have what it takes.
05:38Okay.
05:38Is it dry?
05:40I don't know.
05:42Here are the scripts, madam.
05:43Oh, wonderful, Pinky.
05:45I was just teaching Sarah Joy about showbiz.
05:48Oh.
05:49When I first came to Tinseltown, the only job I could find was selling maps to the homes of game
05:54show hosts.
05:55What a day.
05:56Oh.
05:57I had no idea.
05:59Yes.
05:59Are you discouraged yet?
06:01Oh, no, ma'am.
06:02And I never will be.
06:03I know how I can act.
06:04Then take a script, honey.
06:06I think they're the orange ones.
06:07Okay.
06:09Well, the floozy, the philanderer, and Wanda.
06:12Mm-hmm.
06:13What's philanderer?
06:14Uh, philanderer?
06:15Well, that's as in Hollywood, a wolf in sheep's clothing, as in whoop whoop.
06:21All right, let's get center stage.
06:24Pinky, we're gonna need a champagne bottle.
06:27All right.
06:28Now, everyone, turn to page 42.
06:31I think I know this scene by heart.
06:34The scene is this.
06:36Pinkerton is Spencer, a married man and a philanderer.
06:39Woof, woof.
06:40I am a sweet, innocent girl, Wanda, who happens to be in Spencer's apartment.
06:44By mistake.
06:46Well, who am I?
06:46Oh, you're Spencer's floozy wife, Ellen, who is very jealous.
06:51You're very angry at this scene, Sarah Joy.
06:53Your motivation is that someone creamed your Datsun in the parking lot at Burger King.
06:58You are really P-O-y.
07:00You get my drink?
07:01Okay.
07:02Okay.
07:02Now, go outside the front door and walk in on us.
07:04We'll prepare.
07:05Okay.
07:06Bye-bye.
07:07Okay.
07:08Let me put the script down.
07:12Okay, Sarah Joy, come in.
07:16Uh-huh.
07:17I've caught you with my husband, you little trap.
07:20Ellen closes the door.
07:22Cut!
07:23Sarah Joy, Ellen closes the door as a stage direction.
07:27You don't say it.
07:28You do what it says.
07:29Oh, I see.
07:31Sorry.
07:33Oh, my.
07:34You told me you were single, Spencer.
07:36Ellen steps forward.
07:39He's not single.
07:41He's my husband.
07:42Why, you two-timer.
07:43I think I'm going to faint.
07:45Ah!
07:47Clack!
07:48Sarah Joy, you're supposed to catch me in your arms.
07:51Sorry.
07:53Whew.
07:55You philanderer, you.
07:59Don't listen to her, my darling.
08:01I don't even know her name, this harlot.
08:05She walked in a minute ago and said she was in trouble.
08:09That's not true.
08:11Shut up, you floozy.
08:13Ellen breaks champagne bottle over her head.
08:19Oh, my gosh.
08:21Over my head, Sarah Joy.
08:23Over my head.
08:26Oh, my gosh.
08:27Come on now.
08:32Do you know how hard I've worked to keep this marriage together?
08:37Ellen slaps her.
08:40Oh, come on, Sarah Joy.
08:41You can't be an actress if you can't express anger.
08:43Slap me harder!
08:51Oh, that's enough.
08:54Call the Pia Zadora acting school.
08:57Find out if they're still in business.
08:59Good for you.
09:01Oh, Auntie, ma'am, does this mean I have your blessing to try and make it in show business?
09:05Honey, you have my blessing to try and make it, but on your own.
09:10If you don't make it on your own, the whole kit and caboodle is as worthless as a monk in
09:15a cat house.
09:17Oh.
09:19Oh.
09:20Oh.
09:21Oh.
09:21What's wrong, child?
09:23Oh, I just started thinking about Roscoe Gene Hupp.
09:28See, he's this boy back home who really loves me.
09:31Oh?
09:33Perhaps you'd like to return to him.
09:34Settle down.
09:35Have yourself a dozen little rug apes.
09:37Oh, no, ma'am.
09:38I mean, I would have, but Roscoe turned weird on me after Mama told him I couldn't be alone with
09:44him.
09:44Really?
09:45What did he do?
09:47Well, he painted my face on his hand, and then he put this little blonde wig on top and called
09:52it Sarah Joy.
09:54My word, how bizarre.
09:56Well, him and his hand are real happy together out here.
09:59Oh, good.
10:00Well, they fall behind you now, thank God.
10:03Now, you have to find a job and get yourself a place to live, Sarah Joy.
10:05I will, Auntie, ma'am.
10:07You know, I'm so excited about this.
10:09Do you have any suggestions on where I might start looking?
10:11Yes, dear, I certainly do.
10:12Check the yellow pages.
10:14Under convent.
10:15You know how to spell convent?
10:16C-O-N-V-E-N-T.
10:18Good.
10:19Very good.
10:19Okay, run along, darling.
10:21To a nunnery go.
10:22Oh, look at this hair.
10:23I've got to get a new dude.
10:25I'm tired of this dope.
10:27What?
10:28The Amazing Leopold will be our next right after the commercial.
10:32The Amazing Leopold?
10:33Yes.
10:33Oh, no, not the world's most incompetent magician.
10:36That guy's the worst, the pits, the lowest.
10:39The only thing he can make disappear is the audience.
10:41Oh, hello.
10:42Oh, hi.
10:44We're back.
10:45Hello.
10:46My next guest is probably the world's greatest magician.
10:49He knows more tricks than a hooker at a convention.
10:53Now, would you please welcome with me the Amazing Leopold.
10:56Hit it, Leo.
10:58Yay!
11:11My, my, my, Leo.
11:12You certainly ended with a flush and a flurry.
11:15How are you, darling?
11:17Oh, thank you.
11:19Oh, my.
11:20Have a seat.
11:24There goes your win-victory act, hey?
11:28I don't care much for birds, anyhow.
11:30They are the only animals on this earth that will dump on you without a cause.
11:34Oh, sorry, madam.
11:36It's okay, Leo.
11:37You squashed the birds.
11:39What's next?
11:40Tonight, I'm going to do my greatest trick.
11:42Oh, wonderful.
11:44That's what you said the last time you were on, before you sawed the log in half.
11:47How exciting.
11:48Tonight, I'm going to saw you in half.
11:50Wait a minute!
11:51You think I'm putting my life in the hands of a guy who just sat on his bird?
11:55Nothing is at all.
11:57You can trust me.
11:58You can trust me?
11:59Honey, that's one of the world's three biggest lies, along with the checks in the mail.
12:04And I've never done this with anyone else, John.
12:07Well, madam, it's time for you to get into the box.
12:10Mmm, that's usually my line.
12:12Well, here it goes.
12:15I'm telling you what, Leopold.
12:16If something goes wrong with this act, half of me is going to sue you.
12:19Oh, like I said before, madam, there's nothing to be afraid of.
12:23Nothing.
12:23My, my, my.
12:24It looks like her casket.
12:25Come on in.
12:26The body's in the parlor.
12:29People do a good job on her face.
12:30But they shaved her mustache.
12:34Madam, in the box, please.
12:35Oh, gosh.
12:36Okay.
12:36Just a second.
12:37Let me get my leg up here.
12:39Oh.
12:42Wait a minute.
12:42Wait, wait, wait.
12:43Let me get.
12:43Oh, gosh.
12:45I just ain't what it used to.
12:46Grab that one over there, honey.
12:47Stick that.
12:48Oh.
12:50Just bring it up there.
12:51Oh, madam, your shoe are coming off.
12:52Maybe I should take it off.
12:53It makes it easier for you.
12:54Oh, what the hell.
12:55Why not?
12:55I thought I'd feel more at home.
12:56Excuse me?
13:01Well, alley-oop.
13:04Well, it's very built for comfort, is it?
13:07I must have complete silence.
13:10Oh, my lord.
13:12Madam, are you ready?
13:13I guess so.
13:15Okay.
13:16We will begin.
13:20Mmm.
13:21Mmm.
13:22What's my bun?
13:24Are you comfortable?
13:25Well, not really.
13:26My chin's in the way.
13:27But I'm done.
13:28Over.
13:28Okay.
13:29Mmm.
13:31There we go.
13:33Now I shall begin the most amazing feat you've ever witnessed.
13:36Sorry, Leo.
13:37Nothing can beat something I saw Errol Flynn do.
13:39What?
13:40Who does this train get to Albuquerque?
13:42Slow down, ma'am.
13:44What?
13:45Oh, my lord.
13:46What the hell are you doing?
13:48No!
13:49Ow!
13:50Ow!
13:50You just ruined two gorgeous legs!
13:54Ow!
13:55Ow!
13:56Ow!
13:57Ow!
13:57Ow!
13:57Ow!
13:59I'm not gonna need a manicure now!
14:02Watch this!
14:04Oh, no.
14:04What next?
14:08Ah!
14:08Ah!
14:09Ah!
14:12All right now.
14:15Now what?
14:16What the hell are you doing?
14:18Oh, my.
14:19Ah!
14:20Ah!
14:21Ah!
14:21Ah!
14:21Ah!
14:21I'm doing an alpha trophy.
14:23Ah!
14:24Oh, my!
14:25Ah!
14:26Give me back the rest of my body, darling.
14:28That's an act that has all the fun!
14:30Ah!
14:32That's it.
14:34Ha!
14:35That's it.
14:36You're two.
14:37Well, that's our show for tonight, folks.
14:39If any of my men friends want to come see me, I'll be at the Holiday Inn in room
14:44112 and room
14:46113.
14:48That's so fast, madam.
14:49Oh, my God.
14:50I'm going to turn over for this.
14:54How are you doing, Vic?
14:55I'm just fine, madam, and tonight,
14:57this is your pass.
14:59Oh, Leopold, put me back together, honey.
15:01I don't want my story done in two parts.
15:03Okay, we're a little pressed for time.
15:05What the hell do I care what you're pressed for, Jack?
15:07That's the rest of my bar over there in that box.
15:10Yes, the amazing Leopold will reunite you
15:11with yourself right after the show, but right now,
15:14I'd like to reunite you with some important people
15:16from your past.
15:17I'd rather have my rear end back, Vic.
15:20The magnificent, madam, star of stage and screen,
15:22but you weren't always famous, madam.
15:24Who the hell was, besides Uncle Miltie?
15:27You know, starts in Dawson, Georgia.
15:29Right, and ends five feet away.
15:32Fourteen years old, you marry for the first time.
15:35Our marriage was doomed from the very moment it began.
15:39Could it be true? I don't believe it.
15:41That's Earl McDonald, the only man in the South,
15:43with one first name.
15:45Yes, madam, from Tender, Texas,
15:47where he works as a greeter in a crematorium,
15:49your first husband, Earl McDonald.
15:51Oh, there he is, Earl.
15:54What the hell are you doing in that booth?
15:56Hi, Earl.
15:57Have you got lung trouble?
15:58Earl's not bright, Biff, but he's hung like a painting.
16:03In that case, why didn't your marriage to madam work out?
16:06Well, Biff, me and madam is just two entirely different kinds of human beings.
16:11See, I love beer, and she hates it.
16:14I don't hate beer.
16:15I just like to open a can for a drink it.
16:18Yeah, we've remained very close.
16:21I have all of her albums.
16:23I haven't made any albums, Earl.
16:25Earl?
16:25Oh, no.
16:27I keep getting you mixed up with Della Reese.
16:30Thank you, Earl McDonald.
16:31You'll be seeing madam later at the party in her honor at the Jimmy Carter Hotel.
16:37That's the Earl.
16:39Well, madam.
16:40What a jerk.
16:40After divorce from Earl, you wrap your cardboard luggage in twine, and you're headed for Hollywood.
16:47I used to give madam three scraps of meat when she didn't have any money for food.
16:52My nickname for her was Fido.
16:54Why, that's Benny the Butcher.
16:57That's right, madam, from Chicago, where he owns a chain of all-night do-it-yourself slaughterhouses,
17:02former Hollywood butcher, Benny Sitter.
17:04Oh, my gosh.
17:06How are you, Benny?
17:09Benny, what's hanging in your window, honey?
17:12You never did kiss me.
17:14Madam, how did Benny affect your life?
17:16Well, all us starving young actresses would go to him when we were out of money,
17:20and Benny would throw us scraps of food like we were dogs.
17:24Sometimes I had him roll over and play dead.
17:27I even customized the balls and put the names on him.
17:30Oh, get him out of my sight.
17:32Benny, everyone but you will be joining madam later at the party in her honor at the Hollywood Jimmy Carter
17:37Hotel.
17:37Yes, we'll all be there.
17:40And finally, madam, do you know this voice?
17:44When I left home just two days ago, everyone told me to watch out for all the sin in Hollywood.
17:50Well, I decided to look Aunt madam up anyhow.
17:53Know her voice?
17:55Why, she's sleeping in my home, eating my food and causing my pool boy to rub himself down with ice
18:00cubes every half hour.
18:01Yes, madam, in order that she could share with your celebration,
18:04this is your passport brought her all the way from Georgia by bus, your niece, Sarah Joy Payne.
18:09Why, that little stinker.
18:10She maybe thinks she ran away from home.
18:13How you doing, honey?
18:15Oh, such a gracious woman to allow your niece to live with you permanently.
18:18Oh, Aunt madam's not going to let me live with her permanently, Biff.
18:21You see, it's just for...
18:22Hush up, child.
18:23I won't hear another word of that.
18:24Of course you can live with me.
18:27I can?
18:27God bless you, madam.
18:29Isn't she a magnificent woman?
18:30Yes, indeedy, madam, gives her a public wedding ball.
18:33And now, madam, as a memento of your visit with us tonight,
18:38here is your past.
18:39I'd like you to have this charm bracelet.
18:45Oh, my.
18:46Madam, every charm here symbolizes a memorable part of your life.
18:52Does the little vibrator work?
18:54It's beautiful, Biff.
18:56I'm a star Leopold.
18:58Hurry and reconnect me and do it fast.
19:00I say fast, not half fast.
19:03Get your act together.
19:04Oh, I dropped a little charm bracelet.
19:06Well, now I've still got a charm.
19:08Then tune in tomorrow.
19:09Well, we'll be back.
19:10I don't know.
19:10I think maybe...
19:12Yes!
19:13Oh, God.
19:15Mm, mm, mm.
19:17In one piece.
19:26Sorry.
19:28Tonight was an interesting one.
19:31Yes, I was a subject on Here Is Your Past.
19:34And with a past like mine, it should have been a series.
19:38I nearly died when that magician played the shell game with my torso.
19:44Which cup has the madam?
19:46Really?
19:47Well, the last time I saw my legs like that, they were hanging out of the back seat of a
19:51car.
19:54Oh, Pinky.
19:56Thank you very much, Pinky.
19:57Are my guests all bedded down for the night?
20:00Yes, madam.
20:01Oh, but we had to call the paramedics for Mr. McDonald.
20:04Good Lord.
20:04What happened?
20:06It seems he ate an entire bucket of chicken.
20:09Including the bucket.
20:10Oh, I told that man he's got to open things before he eats them.
20:14Cardboard is so hard to pass.
20:17They said he'd be fine.
20:19Mm.
20:19Good night.
20:20Good night, Pinky.
20:25Oh, Sarah Joy.
20:28Oh, I just want to thank you, ma'am, for letting me live here on a permanent basis.
20:33Oh, you're certainly welcome, Sarah.
20:35But you should remember, nothing is permanent.
20:38Soon you'll get a job, you'll feel a surge of independence.
20:41And you want to move out.
20:43And be on your own.
20:44Oh, I know I feel that surge, ma'am.
20:47After living here maybe five years.
21:00Five years.
21:03My God, what have I done?
21:05Two days ago I was a swinging single, and now from out of nowhere I'm playing mama to a sexpot
21:10who doesn't even know she is one.
21:13What on earth have I done to my life?
21:16Oh, don't write that.
21:18Cancel that.
21:24Stay tuned.
21:26TV Land's Celebscad 1999 continues with Spin City's Michael Boltman and Alan Rock hosting the shows they love right here
21:35in TV Land.
21:36Whoop.
21:37What?
21:38What?
21:45Oh, don't you?
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