- 13 hours ago
What Other Couples Do (2013) - Full movie
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00:08So what do you want to do today?
00:11Um, I think I'm going to get some work done.
00:15Do you mind?
00:16No, I'll get some work done too.
00:31Are you seriously pretending to be asleep right now?
00:34What?
00:36Get up!
00:37It's your turn.
00:38I got up at three.
00:40I got up at five.
00:42I went to bed at one.
00:43We were wasting time online.
00:45I was writing!
00:58Hey, hon.
00:59Hey.
01:00What are you doing today?
01:01Working.
01:02I'm about to head over to Trey's.
01:03You have to be back by like 5.30.
01:05I will be.
01:06Okay.
01:08Don't you and Trey ever get sick of each other?
01:11Lisa, he's my brother.
01:13I know.
01:13I just miss spending Saturdays with you.
01:17I literally have three scripts due this week, so...
01:22What are you doing here?
01:23Working out.
01:24Are those three pounds?
01:25Yeah.
01:26Can I feel it?
01:28This isn't going to do anything.
01:29You might as well just be standing here with no weights, just moving your arms back and forth.
01:32I can't believe they sell these things.
01:33Stop.
01:34You can't...
01:35No.
01:35It's for Tony.
01:36I don't like to sweat.
01:39I love you.
01:42Don't be late.
01:43I won't!
01:49We haven't had sex in a while.
01:52It's bullshit.
01:56Well, we could do something about it right now.
01:58Brie, I'm never going to say no.
02:05Why am I the only one who ever starts the dishwasher?
02:07You didn't start the dishwasher!
02:09What?
02:10Nothing.
02:12Here, baby.
02:14It's right there.
02:19Mm-hmm.
02:21What's that?
02:23Okay.
02:25What?
02:26Nice 30-minute shower.
02:28It was 16 minutes.
02:29I timed it.
02:30How is it that I can get myself and the kids ready in the same amount of time it takes
02:33you to get yourself ready?
02:34Well, remember how we read that men's brains aren't wired for multi-tasking?
02:37Well, how about finishing a single task?
02:40Like, you never start the dishwasher.
02:42I start the dishwasher all the time.
02:44You think if you do something once every three weeks, you do it regularly?
02:47Well, once every three weeks is regularly.
02:49Oh, my God.
02:50I want to kill you right now!
02:52I've been anxious about tonight.
02:53Why?
02:54It's going to be fun.
02:55It's going to be awkward as hell.
02:58You shouldn't have set it up.
03:01You just...
03:02You have to admit you'd like to stir the pot.
03:05It was Ginger's suggestion and Chris was fine with it.
03:10I'll bet.
03:11Is...
03:13Is he bringing that girl?
03:14The one that he cheated with?
03:16No.
03:16They're both coming separately.
03:19They agreed.
03:22Poor Ginger.
03:25I bet she's still a mess.
03:27I've been thinking about Ginger.
03:29Poor Ginger.
03:31I don't think it's a good idea for her to be spending so much time in Texas.
03:35Last time she came back, she was eating so much fried food and all she could fit into
03:38was her sweatpants.
03:40Ugh.
03:41Jesus.
03:42I know.
03:44Marriage is like a business contract.
03:46Each party signs a contract because they're getting certain things out of the deal, and
03:50when Chris married Ginger, part of the deal was that she was slim and attractive.
03:53Okay, but you shouldn't have to worry about your spouse cheating on you just because
03:58you've gained some weight over the years.
04:02Okay, Ginger's gotten huge, but it's hard for her because she's such a good cook.
04:07I mean, I don't know how Chris stayed so slim all those years.
04:11He's self-disciplined because he's vain.
04:15I always knew he was going to cheat.
04:16There's no way a guy who is that good looking is going to stay faithful.
04:20Well, you sound like you would have cheated with him if you'd had the chance.
04:25Whatever.
04:26He was crazy to cheat on her.
04:28She's cool and she cooks like a four-course dinner every night.
04:31I mean, who cares about sex when you can eat like a king?
04:34We're not leaving until we own this town.
04:37Not this side.
04:38Not the valley.
04:39The other side.
04:41I've been thinking about Ginger.
04:42Poor Ginger.
04:46Then I started thinking about our sisters and your mother and my mother and all the women
04:52we know.
04:53And it's like we've seen them all act a little crazy.
04:55Hmm.
04:57So, I'm developing this theory that all women occasionally act nuts.
05:01It's just a question of how nuts.
05:03Like, where are they on the continuum?
05:05Yeah, well, that's what I like about women.
05:07I think it's cool how they can be unpredictable.
05:09It's holding us back.
05:11You know, it makes men uncomfortable because they're only used to experiencing one emotion.
05:16Or maybe several, but you know, it all funnels down to the same one.
05:20Anger.
05:20And then they snap and kill their whole family.
05:23So, all men are angry?
05:25Well, what blanket statement can we make about men?
05:29It's what Thoreau said.
05:30Most are leading lives of quiet desperation.
05:33You know, they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash.
05:36And then they go to work and they help with the kids and they take out the trash.
05:40The whole time, they're daydreaming about being big and important and powerful.
05:45And screwing Scarlett Johansson or whoever.
05:48I'll buy that.
05:50You want to have sex with Scarlett Johansson?
05:51No, I meant I'll buy your theory overall.
05:55You don't want to have sex with her.
05:58I don't find her attractive.
06:01Right.
06:02Believe it or not, when I fantasize about having sex, it's with you.
06:06Always.
06:09You never imagine yourself having sex with anyone but me.
06:12And you never imagine yourself having sex with anybody but me?
06:16I wish neither one of us were ever attracted to anyone else.
06:19It is like that, mostly.
06:22Seriously.
06:24It's like everything is built on a foundation of little white lies.
06:28Living in a house of cards.
06:38Who needs four cars?
06:41I know.
06:42I guess I haven't heard about the fossil fuel situation.
06:45Michelle, we drive an SUV in a station wagon.
06:48Yeah, but our next cars are going to be hybrids.
06:49Oh, well we can start judging people once we get them.
06:53Okay.
06:55We'll find out if he's hiring.
06:57You haven't staffed in three seasons.
06:58He's a hack.
06:59His brother's a clown.
07:01A hack and a clown.
07:06You know one of their episodes is up for an Emmy.
07:09Really?
07:09Yeah.
07:10I can guarantee you they didn't write it though.
07:12On TV, everybody on staff contributes to every episode.
07:17Oh.
07:18This hack is 30 years old and owns a house that costs-
07:212.5.
07:23Oh my god.
07:26Hi!
07:27Hey!
07:35They never hear us because this house is so big.
07:41Lisa?
07:43Josh?
07:50Art?
07:52Guess I've fucked her now.
07:55That fucker, he's just over here renting money.
08:03Hello?
08:06Hello?
08:12Hi!
08:13Hi!
08:13Hi!
08:14How are you?
08:16Really good.
08:16How are you guys?
08:17Good to see you.
08:18I hope you guys can make up finally.
08:20We can stay out late.
08:22My mom's babysitting for us.
08:25I am going to drink my ass off.
08:27No, it's your turn to get up with Emma and Chloe tomorrow.
08:30Wow.
08:30I bet you guys can't wait to have kids, right?
08:33No, you have to do it.
08:34Seriously, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
08:37Actually, we're trying to get pregnant, so...
08:40Yeah, I could be good without kids, but whatever.
08:42What are you talking about?
08:43You totally thought that baby was so cute at the barbecue.
08:46All babies are cute.
08:47That's their thing.
08:48But is that any reason to make an irreversible decision?
08:50Well, if you didn't want to have kids, we shouldn't have gotten married.
08:54Nice.
08:55What?
08:55I'm just saying.
08:57Gotta tackle the big issues tonight.
08:59Yeah.
09:00Hey, thank you.
09:01So where's Ginger and Chris?
09:03I told them not to come until 7.30 so that we could have some time to discuss the situation.
09:08The puppet master.
09:10Stop calling me that.
09:11Wow.
09:12That picture is amazing.
09:14They got another TV.
09:16Check it out.
09:21Nevermind.
09:22Sloppy already.
09:23I know.
09:25So, Chris and Ginger are coming together?
09:28No.
09:28Separately.
09:30What was she doing in Texas?
09:32I have no idea because she's not on Facebook.
09:36People who aren't on Facebook think they're so cool.
09:38I know.
09:39No offense, Bree.
09:40But really, it's just a huge pain in the ass for anybody who loves them.
09:43Because how are we supposed to keep in touch?
09:45Yeah.
09:46And she never checks her email, okay?
09:47She has this whole thing about how email exists as a convenience to us and we're not
09:52supposed to let it run our lives.
09:53And then she says, we have to consciously decide how much time we're going to give it.
10:01See, this is why I love her.
10:03Who else says stuff like that?
10:05I don't have time to consciously decide to do anything.
10:07What am I going to do?
10:08Call her?
10:09I don't have time to call everybody I want to keep in touch with.
10:12I have children.
10:14Well, she has all of her.
10:15Yeah, but he's ten.
10:16And there's a huge difference between one and two.
10:20You have your first, you think it's so hard, but when you have two, it's a whole other story.
10:26You're complaining.
10:28I'm not complaining.
10:30I'm just...
10:30You are complaining.
10:36Do you have Pepsod or something for stomachs?
10:38What's the matter?
10:40I don't know.
10:41I have social anxiety.
10:42Why?
10:43It's just us.
10:46And George and Martha.
10:48Who's George and Martha?
10:50Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton.
10:52Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
10:54Oh.
10:55Is that a good movie?
10:57It's what good?
10:59Uh...
10:59Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
11:01I love that movie.
11:03I've never seen it.
11:04What's that noise?
11:06Oh!
11:07Someone must be at the front door.
11:08Shoot!
11:09It's 7.30 already?
11:16Josh has never seen Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.
11:22Hello!
11:23Oh my gosh!
11:26You look amazing!
11:29Oh god!
11:29Thank you!
11:31I still have a couple more pounds to go, but I'm getting there.
11:35No!
11:36You look awesome!
11:38Oh, Lisa, this is Brad.
11:40Hi!
11:41Hi!
11:42You're cute!
11:44He's an actor.
11:46Me!
11:48Do you mind if I use your bathroom?
11:50Sure!
11:51Yeah!
11:54So...
11:55I...
11:56Do you mind if I go too?
11:57We came from Malibu and you practically have to stop for snacks, you know?
12:01Absolutely.
12:02Sure.
12:02Just use the powder room over there.
12:04That's okay.
12:05Uh...
12:06I'll...
12:07I'll...
12:07I'll just use this one.
12:10Okay.
12:15Hey.
12:17Uh...
12:17Hey, can we have sex?
12:19Yeah!
12:19Come on, let me go down on you.
12:21Oh my god!
12:23So the last time we talked, you and Trey were trying to write a movie together.
12:26It's not easy, is it?
12:28I always tell you TV guys, features aren't just longer, they're a whole different animal.
12:32It's hard to sustain a story over a hundred pages.
12:34It's done, man.
12:35We sold it last week.
12:36Really?
12:38Who, uh...
12:39Who'd you guys sell it to?
12:41Will Ferrell and Adam McKay.
12:44That's...
12:45That's great.
12:46That's fantastic.
12:47Yeah, those guys are really funny.
12:49Yeah, they're doing alright.
12:51Haha.
12:52You're a smartass.
12:53How much?
12:54If you don't mind me asking.
12:55No, it's fine.
12:56It was in the trades.
12:57Eight hundred.
13:01Eight hundred thousand?
13:02No, eight hundred dollars.
13:05Oh, man.
13:09What's wrong?
13:10You look freaked out.
13:11Ginger lost weight.
13:12What?
13:12Really?
13:13Yeah.
13:14And she brought a guy.
13:16And she went to the bathroom, and this kid, he's like 20.
13:19He asked if he could go too.
13:21And they're in the bathroom together, right now.
13:23They're having sex?
13:25I don't know.
13:26In the powder room?
13:27Yeah.
13:28They better not get anything on the wallpaper.
13:30It's vintage.
13:31See that?
13:32Rich people have problems, too.
13:33They have to worry about guests ejaculating on their wallpaper.
13:39If I had said that, you would have told me I was disgusting.
13:42It was funny.
13:44Ryan is funny.
13:45I'm a comedy writer.
13:46You're funny, Dave.
13:47Ryan is used to, you know, getting up in front of a hundred people and making them laugh
13:52their asses off.
13:53I can't believe you.
13:55Oh, my God.
13:57Hi.
13:59You're awesome.
14:01Oh, thank you.
14:02How did you lose this weight?
14:03I just was so busy working.
14:06Tell me.
14:06Oh, hey.
14:07Yeah, I was catering a movie.
14:10In Austin?
14:11Yeah.
14:11That's how I met Brad.
14:13He was a part of the cast.
14:14How's Oliver?
14:15He's great.
14:16He's with his cousins.
14:17I go back on Monday.
14:19What's that noise?
14:22Oh, someone must be at the front door.
14:24That must be Chris.
14:26Has he seen you yet?
14:29No.
14:31He's gonna shit a brick.
14:36Hi.
14:37Hi.
14:38How are you?
14:40Good.
14:41Oh, thank you.
14:43God.
14:46We haven't seen you in...
14:48Forever.
14:49I know.
14:51Uh, Ginger came, right?
14:53Yeah, she's here.
14:57Oh.
14:57Wait till you see us.
14:58Hey, guys.
14:59How you doing, bud?
15:02You look beautiful.
15:05Uh, Chris.
15:06Nice to meet you.
15:07You too.
15:08Brad.
15:08Oh.
15:09How do you know Josh and Lisa?
15:11I just met them.
15:12I'm here with Ginger.
15:14Oh.
15:17I thought we weren't bringing anyone.
15:19Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
15:26You are wearing that outfit that I love.
15:28Oh, yeah.
15:30Who needs a drink?
15:32I do.
15:32I do.
15:33I do.
15:33I do.
15:33I do.
15:40Silverware has a really nice weight to it.
15:42I knew you'd notice.
15:43You always appreciate nice things.
15:45Yeah, I noticed it too.
15:46I was thinking about stealing some.
15:48Seriously, one spoon costs $200.
15:51Wow.
15:52I want to hear some of your new material.
15:53Do you have any after dinner?
15:55No.
15:55Come on.
15:56For us.
15:57Come on.
15:57Come on.
15:59I got some.
16:00You know, truthfully, I've been traveling so much that I really haven't had time to write.
16:04Right.
16:04Gotta make time.
16:06No excuses.
16:08Right.
16:09No, I wrote today, though.
16:11So.
16:11So and I.
16:12Well, you scoot around on the internet.
16:15I was working.
16:16Oh, listen, there's a service you can subscribe to that blocks your access to the internet for
16:21up to eight hours a day.
16:22Is that where we're at right now?
16:24We can't be self-disciplined?
16:26We have to pay someone to enforce discipline?
16:28I know.
16:29It's lame.
16:30But, you know, it only costs $7.95 a month.
16:33It's totally worth it.
16:34Why?
16:35You and Trey do that?
16:37Uh, no.
16:37We don't have to.
16:38We're very self-motivated.
16:41That's fantastic, man.
16:44So, Ry, where are you performing these days?
16:47Uh, all over.
16:49Uh, Atlanta, Dallas, Pittsburgh.
16:52Have you been going with them, Brie?
16:53No.
16:54I take five shows a week, so.
16:56Oh.
16:56Oh, right.
16:57Right.
16:58How many?
16:59Yeah.
16:59Have you watched her show?
17:00Oh, it's fantastic.
17:02I keep forgetting.
17:03I'm sorry.
17:04I never had time for that.
17:06God.
17:06Send me the link again, though.
17:07I can't believe this.
17:08My own friends.
17:10You know, I have strangers writing me telling me that they love it.
17:13You know, this one guy told me it restored his faith in humanity.
17:16Oh.
17:17But it's opera, right?
17:19That's a tough sell.
17:20I don't have time to watch webisodes.
17:22They're only two minutes long.
17:25You know, one day Ryan and I are going to leave LA and then you'll all be sorry.
17:29Because you'll just be talking about how you saw Jim Carrey at the dog park.
17:33Who saw Jim Carrey at the dog park?
17:35Did you see him?
17:36For real?
17:37I just made that up.
17:38Oh.
17:38I'm just saying your whole lives will be one big Howard Stern conversation.
17:42I love Howard Stern.
17:44Love him.
17:47This chicken is very good.
17:49Oh, yeah.
17:50Lisa's a good little orderer.
17:58Did I tell you guys that I'm going to London with Josh and Trey?
18:03I thought you weren't going.
18:05We did a spreadsheet on how much she'd spend in London and how much she'd spend here.
18:10And we think she'd spend more here because there'd be no controls.
18:15Yeah, because women are stupid spendthrifts.
18:18It's just that you want more.
18:19They don't want more.
18:20They want everything.
18:22They want to go to all the new restaurants.
18:23They want to get all the best clothes.
18:26They want to go on the best vacations.
18:27They want to get all the best personal trainers.
18:30You don't like new restaurants.
18:32Well, yeah, that's...
18:33You don't want to take great vacations?
18:35Yes, of course, but that's not...
18:37We help you lead fuller lives.
18:39Yes.
18:40Yeah.
18:43Hey, so what's your script about?
18:46Oh, which one?
18:48I was talking about the spec script that you sold, but how many do you have?
18:52Well, when that one went out, everyone went nuts and wanted meetings with us.
18:57So, of course, we had this backlog of ideas that we wanted to pitch.
19:01So, we're working on an animated film at Pixar.
19:06Spielberg wants to do a comedy, so we're writing something for him.
19:10And we're working on a project we would direct ourselves.
19:14Paramount would finance.
19:16Nothing huge, but they want to be in business with us.
19:18And one of our TV episodes was nominated for an Emmy.
19:23Oh, that's great.
19:24You guys are great news.
19:25You guys are great.
19:27You know what?
19:28I'm going to go open one of the bottles we brought.
19:30Anybody need anything else?
19:31I'm going to get ours, too.
19:34I want to read that smacky soul.
19:36We should ask him.
19:37No, because I don't think that we have a chip on our shoulder that we just want to see if
19:42it's good.
19:42I'm telling you.
19:43How could it be?
19:44Have you seen his show?
19:45It's so hacky.
19:48$800,000.
19:50It's because he's self-confident.
19:52Confidence is everything in this town.
19:54I'm self-confident.
19:55Huh?
19:56I got a two-bedroom tear down in the valley.
19:59Yeah, but Studio City's cool.
20:01It's not really a valley.
20:03Don't patronize me.
20:05All right?
20:05When we trade up, we'll move to the west side.
20:09All right?
20:10We like the valley.
20:11We're very middle class.
20:12When I bought Bree the Volvo, she acted like she'd won the lottery.
20:17It must be nice to have a wife you can please.
20:20She's the best.
20:24I have to do something about this.
20:26It's humbling.
20:26Wait.
20:28They have sticky things, I think.
20:30Yeah, they do.
20:32Bree?
20:32Bree?
20:34That's an unusual name.
20:37Yeah, my mom had just seen Clute.
20:38Really?
20:39Your mom must be very interesting to name you after a hooker.
20:44I mean, um, a prostitute.
20:48Is Clute good?
20:50I haven't seen that.
20:52I've never seen Clute.
20:55So how'd you two meet?
20:59I was working on a film that was shot in Austin.
21:04Crew?
21:05No, no.
21:06I'm an actor.
21:07Hmm.
21:08Big role?
21:10Small?
21:10As actors, we were taught to believe that there are no small roles.
21:14Right.
21:14So small.
21:16What movie?
21:18Spaceman.
21:19Hmm.
21:20I read the script.
21:22Well, I read the, uh, I read the first ten pages.
21:25It was actually...
21:27It was so bad I couldn't finish it.
21:31How old are you?
21:34Twenty-six.
21:35That's young.
21:37Yeah.
21:39He knows nothing about the heartache of soft erections.
21:44Wow.
21:45Oh.
21:48Plus, everyone our age is married, so...
21:51Yeah, but not all these marriages are gonna last.
21:53I mean, the divorce rate is 50%.
22:05My wife.
22:07Twelve years we've been together.
22:08Aww.
22:09Yeah.
22:10And, and, and what's great about it is, and it kind of gets me choked up a little bit,
22:13we're very supportive of each other.
22:14We look out for each other, try to make each other happy.
22:17Like lately, uh, she's been giving me a lot of blowjobs, which is awesome.
22:23And it's occurred to her that maybe, uh, blowjobs are fattening because she's been gaining a little
22:28weight.
22:29Woo!
22:30Uh, the other day we're laying in bed and she says to me, uh, look, I'm thinking that
22:38maybe sperm has a lot of calories.
22:40So I immediately go into problem solving mode.
22:43I'm like, why don't you start skipping lunch?
22:47That was me!
22:48That was hilarious!
22:49What are you talking about?
22:50Funny, Raya.
22:52I'm just gonna play you guys the first few notes, okay?
22:55Oh, hey!
22:55Hey, hey, hey, hey!
22:58Ahem.
23:28CHOIR SINGS
23:36Did you guys get chills?
23:38I did.
23:40Are you serious?
23:42How are you guys not affected by that song?
23:44No, it was really beautiful.
23:45It was gorgeous.
23:46Hey, you guys want to play poker?
23:48Yes.
23:49Yes.
23:50No, it's too late to start a game.
23:52It's 10 o'clock.
23:52We have to stop drinking.
23:54No, no one stopped drinking.
23:55You guys have to spend the night.
23:57Everyone should stay here tonight.
23:59Really?
24:00Oh.
24:00Yeah.
24:01What's the point of having this big house, right?
24:04All right.
24:05I'll do that.
24:05Call your mom.
24:06It's been so long since I've gotten shit-faced.
24:09We can play poker all night and then watch the sunrise.
24:13I feel alive.
24:15I'm alive, honey.
24:17I'm alive.
24:18I'm feeling alive.
24:19I'm alive.
24:23Don't feel sorry for me.
24:25We don't feel sorry for you.
24:27We feel bad for you.
24:29That's funny.
24:32Because I feel bad for you.
24:34Why?
24:37Well, neither of you seem very happy right now.
24:41Me and Michelle?
24:42Why are you singling us out?
24:46Ryan and Bree are happy.
24:50Well, yeah.
24:51Yeah, we're happy, but...
24:53What makes you think Dave and I aren't happy?
24:56Seriously?
24:57Bree said earlier that you guys were like the couple and who's afraid of Virginia Woolf.
25:02I mean, earlier I was...
25:03My stomach hurt, so I was conversating...
25:05Great, so everybody thinks we're a mess.
25:07Oh, we don't think you're a mess.
25:08Look, I get it.
25:09You've got young kids.
25:10It's hard.
25:12Josh and I are trying to get pregnant.
25:15Of course you are.
25:18What does that mean?
25:20I just feel like we're all making the same mistakes our parents made.
25:24You're on shaky ground, so you want to throw kids into the mix?
25:28You think I'm on shaky ground?
25:32You know how Josh acts like he's being funny because he's smiling or making some sort of
25:39joke, but really he's just criticizing you?
25:44Yeah.
25:47It seems like he doesn't respect you.
25:53Well, he has really high expectations of everyone, himself included.
25:59So, he's critical, but I think that he respects me.
26:03I know he respects me.
26:12That asshole.
26:13He doesn't respect me.
26:16Well, maybe he does.
26:17I don't know.
26:17No!
26:18No, he doesn't.
26:19I know he doesn't.
26:21Well, look, why don't you talk to him about it?
26:23If you call him on it, he's going to have to change.
26:25That's optimistic.
26:27I know you're into positive thinking and the power of intention and all that shit, but sometimes...
26:31I have more confidence.
26:31I just want to keep it in.
26:34I just want to keep it in.
26:43I just want to keep it in.
26:51I just want to keep it in for once.
27:00I just want to have some fun.
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