- 6 hours ago
Rooster
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:11you okay it's just so sad Rudolph they're just all making fun of his nose like so what if he's
00:20different and Santa saying he can't be part of the team like he's so perfect Santa's a fat bug
00:30hey there hey how'd your Thanksgiving go uh good good you write stories for a living Greg do better
00:39good to see you Walt uh it was fine Katie and I were here only bummer was that she
00:47was a little bothered by something she really wouldn't tell me what it was
00:50and she was kind of sad oh I love the whipped cream on the bottom how many of those do
00:55you have a week
00:56it is not your problem it is my problem and I never want to fix it hey just a quick
01:01heads up
01:01there Greg Crystal's back if you want to say hi or something how's she doing you know what I'll uh
01:08I'll talk to her later thanks Walt yeah are you avoiding me oh hi no I was actually just coming
01:15to see you we don't have to do any of that Greg in fact I've made a list of ground
01:20rules so we can
01:21navigate our last eight days as co-workers okay no tight khakis in the office or crotch defining
01:27casual slacks all right I think that applies more to me than to you I'll be doing it too okay
01:32all right
01:33no acts of chivalry to make me swoon I'm still going to be nice to you
01:40okay no smiling or showing any tongue around the office this one's important to me sure no smiling
01:45I don't know if I've ever shown tongue around the office well anytime you open your mouth you're
01:49showing your tongue okay I will um yeah you got it I'm gonna leave now so please don't undress me
01:55with your eyes I will do my best
02:01you're doing it I kind of am
02:29as I'm sure you all remember the name of this class is the
02:32the art of the page turner so a lot of the notes that you're getting on these has to do
02:37with that
02:37first chapter engaging the audience I wrote a book called swamp blossom in it rooster receives a letter
02:44from an old flame and it says letting you go was the biggest mistake that I ever made but if
02:52you're
02:52reading this right now I'm probably dead thoughts dude who writes a letter yeah and why didn't she
02:59finish it and explain it more maybe she was in danger but she still had time to buy a stamp
03:06and mail
03:07it oh no a lot of old people already have stamps I what's wrong with stamps it makes sense if
03:13you read
03:13it it's actually an awesome book Tommy I can't tell you how great it is to have you in this
03:19class
03:19participating again you never say anything when I participate I know here you go hey minus that's
03:28it for today get to work on those revisions that is for you check it adderall and celsius works every
03:36time see her see ya
03:41are we good I have this psych major helping me visualize you without any sex organs
03:47just a blank hairless front okay I would like to help you get back on track the other classes
03:56yeah I mean I need it my office 3 p.m sharp right on right on that's for you you
04:03got some work to do
04:16I absolutely love this vest thank you the neoprene raises your core body temperature by 12
04:21percent plus makes your guns look good I'd wear it to dinner any updates on all things biotech are you
04:27any closer to a decision moving to New York is complicated you know Archie's shown that he's a
04:33little more invested in the baby he even put together a list of pretentious British names
04:37I personally would not have a son or daughter named Robin who would but if he's not going to
04:42be super involved I should just take the job and move right do you mind if I quote Theodore Roosevelt
04:48I'd prefer it if you do not fine look at your life's gonna be full of tests sonny you gotta
04:55just
04:55keep your eyes open and see what the world tells you you'll figure it out thank you believe you can
05:01you're halfway there snuck a little TR there in the end didn't you couldn't help myself
05:08so um why are we all wearing the same bucket like it could be our thing we'd be the the
05:15bucket boys
05:16fuck that that was a nice try pig tits you're always gonna be pig tits hey guys
05:20Gerg Rooster hey uh did you see Tommy anywhere you're supposed to be in my office and he never showed
05:27nah he wasn't an econ either maybe he's all sad somewhere because this guy didn't ask him to be
05:32a bucket boy fuck you guys he's on my that bucket boy you don't even know what a bucket boy
05:38is do
05:38you no I don't gentlemen piggy titty well got your text no I will not create a task force to
05:45find out
05:45who stole the school's mascot nice try don't call back he's gonna call back sorry no it's all right
05:51like seeing you in this boss mode thanks uh ignore I wanted to talk to you about your poem
05:57cherry pop you you get that I'm the cherry popper and that Eli is the cherry right okay not everyone
06:02needs to know I was a virgin you're my muse king but you gotta wait outside I love this poem
06:09it's the first time you've written something that feels personal so thank you I think that
06:15this is a piece that could get into the review so I just made a few marks to show you
06:20where you
06:21could push even further with yourself be more vulnerable what do you say I'm gonna go microdose
06:26my balls off and give it a shot don't need to know how you get there I'm just excited to
06:31have a
06:31student with some promise Eva is so talented she is don't you encourage her too much
06:38she's mine the world has plenty of fiction writers I mean what the hell is this no they're
06:45only doing that because I'm in town do you know what they do when poets come to town everybody goes
06:49crazy you are not funny your face you were so mad
06:58hey Greg oh hey entering but leaving the door open for both of our safety I know that must have
07:06looked strange but I wasn't checking out my belly button it's okay because it's good for me
07:10to see how deeply troubled you are I am thank you but I need your help what's going on
07:18Tommy says he's dropping out of school oh no no I'm so mad this is such a huge opportunity for
07:23him
07:24I'm not going to let that happen okay may I have your permission to get involved yeah feel free to
07:29hit
07:29him if you need to no I'm not gonna hit him I love him but sometimes I hate him sure
07:34did you know
07:35he was a 14 pound baby no I would have never guessed thank you okay crystal I got this
07:47don't do this what don't make me fall for you again oh I'm not trying to do that I just
07:55want to
07:56help your son thank you Greg you're welcome right Yugoslavia's split from the Soviets coming up in
08:05this episode we've got some forged letters even got a cameo from the Greeks my god I love those
08:09swarthy bastards don't write that down yeah I'm just gonna take that great okay right let's get it
08:16popping what caused this lover's quarrel yes Liv um Tito resisted Stalin's attempts to control
08:22Yugoslavia's policies brilliant as always thank you guys you're so back calm down don't take your
08:28top off at least he knows my name he knows my name even seen a growing resistance across the rest
08:34of
08:34the USSR uh uh yes Liv yeah Heather here was just saying that economic pressure from the west also
08:39contributed to the split great job Heather thank you great job Heather fucking cut
08:48ah ladies me casa as your casa yeet wow you're a little more pleased with yourself than usual
08:55that's actually pretty hard to do I've got to say lately I feel like I have been teaching at a
09:00virtuosic level uh good moms have scary thoughts what's that oh this is uh this is just one of my
09:06parenting books did you know that 90% of new mothers have intrusive thoughts I have heard that yeah like
09:11what if my baby gets ill what if I drop my baby could happen what if my baby thinks my
09:16hair is
09:16prettier than hers and shaves my head in the middle of the night very possible gosh that's a lot of
09:20hormones running through your body there darling I don't think you're clocking what's going on
09:27emotionally she's correct but I got you the Montessori book if you want to read up with me though
09:31bug ah see parenting is just this kind of instinctual thing you know you really don't have to worry about
09:38me being a father my entire day is just spent molding young minds it's actually funny you say
09:43that I was just perusing your rate my professor reviews online for no reason at all this one
09:49tickled me professor Bates is arrogant and completely self-involved well I don't even take arrogant as a
09:54negative so ah professor Bates is terrible with criticism petulant and defensive well that's
09:59bollocks I'm not defensive in the slightest who'd take time to write lies no okay I can hear myself now
10:04okay well good I'm happy to have the feedback here's a fun one professor Bates has led those
10:09biggest asshole that's not really on there is it no I just wanted to say it Tommy just sit down
10:15for a
10:15second leave me alone I gotta work hey sit down please what are you doing man you can't just drop
10:25out of college wait what don't do that man we need you why not look I only went to college
10:30because
10:30my mom made memes not like I'm killing it totally come on is that all college is about I think
10:37so
10:37yeah my pop says grades are everything dude my dad just married a chick two years older than me
10:42she's hot it's confusing but you'd still hit right do they do an important guys this is all very
10:47important stuff but I'm going to continue our discussion over here congrats to your dad by the
10:52way thank you Kirk come on join me rooster you never went to college man no I didn't and I
11:00regret it
11:02when I was a kid I was really unhappy was kind of a loner still kind of am I see
11:12you walking around
11:14campus and you are surrounded by people I wish I had that when I was your age these guys behind
11:21you
11:21are such complete idiots but they're your idiots don't leave them behind
11:31well I live here I'll still see him we'll still hang out right guys yeah stop helping don't worry
11:37I'm not going to be a waiter for the rest of my life there's tons of shit I can do
11:44I've actually always really wanted to be a cop they are badass excuse me if I could just have
11:48everyone's attention real quick just retracing my steps I was here yesterday has anybody seen my
11:55gun look under your tables look under your chairs how's the rewrite coming oh it's not you need some
12:05more time no it's just I dove into the vulnerable thing I hated it it just made me feel exposed
12:15but
12:15like not the way that I like to be exposed you know it's scary to put yourself in your work
12:20but
12:21it's what an artist does see that's the thing I'm not like an artist I'm a business major I had
12:29to
12:29promise my dad I'd either be a finance bro or a crypto douche this poetry stuff is fun but it's
12:35an
12:35oasis this isn't gonna be my life and now Tommy is going on a ride-along to see if he
12:46wants to be a
12:47police officer how insane is that sorry is this the kid who sometimes lives at your house who you
12:52secretly wish was your son honey come on it's not a secret are you okay you seem like you're a
12:59bit of a
13:00funk these days don't you have to coach feel like this whole thing started the morning after Walt's
13:09party when I saw you with the two coffees in my business that's what we call a clue trail so
13:16I I think
13:18I know what's going on you do you're seeing somebody else you feel guilty about it because
13:26of Archie wow nailed it well I am a professional banter driven action mystery writer so true this is a
13:36guy is he here yeah oh really yeah where um right there he's Hunter the guy from the bar oh
13:47oh yeah I
13:48like him he doesn't skimp on the nuts that's what hooked me why don't you go sit with him I
13:55know I'm
13:55gonna sit away honey don't worry about Archie's feelings yeah take care of yourself okay ask him if
14:03he nope I was gonna say ask him if he has any nuts I'm not gonna do that I will
14:07sit with him to
14:07stop this conversation okay love you love you here we go come on come on skate faster you know they're
14:15just warming up right yeah I know me too uh kill him hi hey rip him up rip him up
14:23guys um I'm gonna
14:27uh I'm gonna put my head on your shoulder now but I'm here on a date she'll be fine
14:38aha outstanding mascots back
14:50oh that's not our guy somebody stop him hey
14:55right yes I am the police here hold my beer I'm coming back for that I am the police I
15:01got it
15:02hey
15:09ah hello you hey morning uh been a minute yeah
15:16how was Thanksgiving in Wisconsin interesting yes Sonny's family are really into this um electronic
15:23game called Simon uh sort of this has these flashing lights I know what Simon is everybody knows okay
15:28well I did not uh so much so that they all sort of took turns screaming at me oh good
15:34I'm glad that
15:34amuses you oh I wanted to thank you for getting me hooked on croissants ah yes yeah it's like a
15:40heroin dealer well you know what they say first one's always free I know right yeah and then you
15:46stop bringing them
15:49Katie you can't promise someone a thousand days to make a decision and then only give them two
15:55right it's not fair and now I'm getting sad in front of you and I just wanted to come and
15:59get my
15:59three croissants yeah I'm on three now because I'm an animal don't cry don't call me darling and
16:04don't tell me not to cry I can fucking cry if I want to and I don't currently want to
16:08but I'm just
16:08having a little trouble stopping thank you okay I hope you're better to Sonny
16:23hey guys what you doing cop stuff he's introducing me to this band called creed
16:31can we chat outside for a sec
16:38so how's it been going guys you've been writing a lot of tickets we really haven't I mean cars still
16:44stopped at that red light back there even after we turned it off that's too bad wait what just wish
16:49sure I could show this kid a little bit of action but only outstanding felony in town is
16:54that stolen mascot costume hey man I'm having a blast he showed me how to use the radar gun that's
16:59right I can run eight miles an hour yeah should have done track no yeah don't think that's fast also
17:04I know it's a cliche but they actually give you free donuts ah think they'll give me some more
17:10yeah only one way to find out sport yeah Tommy officer Tommy whatever his last name is yeah his mom
17:21really wants him to finish college okay my mom really wants me to come visit her and her girlfriend
17:26but no thank you Greg if the kid has the calling who are you on I to stand in the
17:31way of that he's this
17:32is not the priesthood look you need to back off you need to just let him finish you need to
17:37visit
17:37your mom just to be clear I'm not not visiting because she has a girlfriend it's because her
17:43girlfriend is Sharon who happens to be the absolute worst Tommy is a grown man who can make decisions
17:50for himself as can I Sharon you're forcing me to do this no you're gonna use your get out of
18:01jail free
18:01card now that is how important this is to me that I am giving you that meaningless thing
18:07doesn't glaze oh great what's in the bag oh it's your gun oh yeah they said you left it in
18:13there
18:14last time yes I did and yes that's mine so officer Donnie was telling me that there are some downsides
18:21to being a cop yeah yeah yeah yeah I was actually um Tommy it sucks being a cop it sucks
18:32wait but you
18:32just told me that it was awesome and I lied to you Tommy because I lie to kids that's what
18:38cops do let's get out of here you can drive yes no no Tommy no give me that what I'm
18:46driving you
18:46take this no I got the gun I got the gun oh god uh Eva can we go somewhere and
18:59talk yeah no no put some pants on her
19:12I still don't see a downside of being a cop
19:18I mean short training good benefits free car yeah at first it is it's quite a rush the power
19:29you realize you can pull over Vince Martinelli guy who was addicted in high school whenever you want
19:35then you find yourself pulling them over two three times a week
19:41just so you can feel something your captain's yelling at you he's up your ass he's telling you
19:47he's gonna lawyer up and he's probably right you think the guys at the station you think they got
19:52your back but they don't they are all planning a trip to Foxwoods without you no and everybody went
20:03they even fucking took Sharon how the fuck do they even know her I think what Donnie is trying
20:10to say is that you have to give this whole thing some thought yeah at the end of the day
20:14it's just a job yes not that exciting exactly wait turn on the light
20:31nobody's spoken
20:33not that exciting
20:34no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no wait no no no no
20:36no no no no please
20:39you're going in your hand
20:40all right
20:42where are the keys
20:46hey police go through the time
20:49I'm talking about
20:52help
20:55please
20:56please
20:56stop
20:59wait
21:00run
21:00it
21:09You know, it really bothered me when you said you weren't going to be an artist.
21:14Oh, my bad, diva.
21:16You know why?
21:17You already are an artist.
21:20And don't get me wrong, I'm not going to call your dad and say she shouldn't work for Goldman
21:24Sachs, she should just be a street poet.
21:26Yeah, yeah, he wouldn't dig that.
21:30Stop in the name of the law!
21:34Okay, look, you said poetry makes you happy.
21:37That's enough, because I know that if I'm struggling, I can always lean on my art.
21:45Anyways, I wanted you to see the mock-up.
21:52Damn it!
21:53Turn to page 20.
21:59I won't put it in there for real if you don't want me to.
22:04Oh, no, I, uh, I want you to.
22:11Diva.
22:12I like it.
22:14Can you call me that all the time?
22:15Oh, forever, diva.
22:17Here comes the hammer!
22:19Let's go!
22:20Let's go!
22:21Let's go!
22:23Let's go!
22:24Taste it!
22:25Huh?
22:26Huh?
22:27Yeah!
22:28Eight miles an hour, bitch!
22:31Pig tits?
22:32Oh, God.
22:33What the hell?
22:34What are you doing?
22:36How can you run so fast with that giant head?
22:39Me or him?
22:41I can't be pig tits anymore.
22:43I thought this would change things for me.
22:45Dude, people are just gonna say pig tits stole the mascot costume.
22:50Oh, fuck.
22:52Look, I'll stop calling you pig tits, okay?
22:55Rooster?
22:55Yeah, I'll try.
22:58Oh, man, I'm so fucked.
23:00I got you.
23:01Get out of here.
23:02Drunk!
23:04Hey!
23:05Hey!
23:06Found my keys.
23:07They're in the ignition.
23:08Car was on the whole time.
23:09Yeah, I got the head.
23:11Oh, he went that way.
23:12Yep!
23:13Are you sure?
23:14That's where he is!
23:16I hate backing up.
23:18I'm good back there?
23:19You're good. Go, go!
23:20Can you see?
23:21Yep, go!
23:26Oh.
23:27You're actually reading it.
23:29Of course I am.
23:29I knew you wanted me to.
23:31Look, bug boy, girl, whatever comes, they will not defeat us.
23:36We can do this shit.
23:41I got a job offer at Bioteca.
23:44What?
23:45Yeah.
23:46Salary's good.
23:47That's amazing.
23:48And they, uh, they want me to start in New York in January.
23:52But that's not where I am.
23:55I'm not taking it.
23:59I think you're done reading.
24:00Why?
24:01I was learning about...
24:03Oh, now I see why.
24:04This is a lot more fun.
24:07Huge mistake!
24:08Take the job!
24:11You know, I think I'd be a shitty cop.
24:14And I'd let everyone go.
24:16You're just being a good friend to Pig.
24:19J.D.
24:20Wow.
24:21That is going to be a hard habit to break.
24:23We don't have to stop calling him Pig Tits.
24:25You're just not to his face.
24:26Okay.
24:26I take back the good friend part.
24:28Bye.
24:32I don't want to sound like a broken record about all this college stuff.
24:36It's not for me.
24:37Look.
24:38Okay, I can struggle through, you know, skate by with some D's.
24:44What's the point?
24:46Writing is the only thing that I like.
24:48And I even suck at that.
24:49So...
24:50What are you talking about?
24:51My chapter.
24:53The red marks everywhere.
24:55Oh.
24:55It looked like my face before Accutane.
24:57And Spooner's was spotless.
24:59Oh.
24:59Just a big check bus.
25:01Yeah, well, Spooner's paper.
25:03Don't tell him I told you this, but Spooner's not going to be a writer.
25:07Oh, I know.
25:08He's going to run his dad's oil company.
25:10Probably hook up with his stepmom.
25:12Tommy, the reason yours was marked up was because I think that you have potential.
25:18Now, you're just bullshitting because you don't want me to drop out.
25:27Bernice stared down at him on the ground.
25:31His blood peeking past his shadow.
25:34And she laughed.
25:37One.
25:38Perfect.
25:39Ha.
25:42That's my story.
25:44Yeah, I know.
25:44I have a knack for remembering really good sentences.
25:48I wish I'd written that.
25:50Really?
25:51Yeah.
25:53So I'm good?
25:54Uh, not yet.
25:56But with a little work.
25:58I think you could be pretty good.
26:00Yeah.
26:06Good night.
26:09I wish I hadn't seen your dick.
26:11Me too, Tommy.
26:13Me too.
26:14Good night.
26:41Hey, you okay?
26:44No.
26:45I'm all out of jam.
26:47I thought you dropped out.
26:49I changed my mind.
26:51Good choice.
26:52You know, if something's bothering you, your dad is the greatest.
26:56Cool.
26:57Still not your dad.
26:59Yeah, no, I know.
27:00I wish he was.
27:02My dad does not give a shit.
27:06You're so lucky.
27:08You can go now.
27:10Yeah, cool.
27:25Hey, sweetie.
27:26Hi.
27:26Hey.
27:28I'm glad you're here.
27:29I got something for you.
27:35Really?
27:36Yeah.
27:37Oh, my God.
27:38Dad.
27:40Got your little helmet.
27:42Please wear the helmet.
27:43Of course.
27:44This is so cool.
27:49What's up?
27:56Um, I have to tell you something.
28:01Okay.
28:03So, um...
28:07He's gone...
28:09He's gone...
28:11Two thousand miles...
28:16It's very far...
28:21The snow has fallen down.
28:26It's colder day by day.
28:31I miss you.
28:37The children will sing.
28:41You'll be back at Christmas time.
28:50In these frozen and silent nights
28:55Sometimes in a dream
28:59You appear
29:05Outside under the purple sky
29:09Diamonds in the snow
29:15Sparkle
29:16Sparkle
29:16Sparkle
29:16Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:19Sparkle
29:20Sparkle
29:21Sparkle
29:21Sparkle
29:22Sparkle
29:22Sparkle
29:23Sparkle
29:25Sparkle
29:26Sparkle
29:28Sparkle
29:30Sparkle
29:30Sparkle
29:31Sparkle
29:31Sparkle
29:37Sparkle
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