- 10 hours ago
Jingle All the Way 2 (2014) [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:07To be continued...
00:38It's cold out, baby, put a jacket on for the chill
00:43I got a bright red sleigh, babe, jingle bells, what a thrill
00:49I'm gonna take it downtown, we got Christmas time to kill
00:54It's a downtown Christmas, baby, take a ride with me
01:00It's a downtown Christmas, baby, take a ride with me
01:05On a cold Christmas night downtown is where I wanna be
01:10You know uptown, baby, they got no lights to see
01:15Head in southbound, baby, they got no
01:19Dad? Hey, Dad! Time to wake up!
01:26Dad!
01:27Where's the buttons on that snooze alarm?
01:32I'm not the snooze alarm
01:35Are you excited? It's time to go ice fishing
01:38I am excited, I'm gonna sleep on it and figure out what we're gonna do with it
01:46Remember, the early bird gets the worm
01:49And I think we know what happens to that worm
01:52It gets gobbled up and eaten
01:56Don't make me!
01:58All right, then
02:02All right, now you've done it
02:04You know what you just did?
02:06You just awakened a giant, abominable yeti
02:09And you know what he feeds on?
02:12Cookies?
02:12No
02:13No
02:14He feeds on tickles!
02:17He need a tickle!
02:19Come on, let's go fishing!
02:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
02:34Oh, my God!
02:38Oh, my God!
02:40Oh, my God!
02:50This way, you know that Christmas will be green and bright, the sun shines on the day and all the
02:59stars at night.
03:01Maka-naka-maka is the wise way to say Merry Christmas to you.
03:08Take it away, yeah!
03:11Maka-naka-maka is the thing to say about it.
03:19That's the island greeting that we send to you from the land where palm trees sway.
03:28Dad, I wish you could have been at Mommy's wedding.
03:30You should have seen Mom's engagement ring.
03:33The diamond was huge.
03:36And during the wedding, I got to hand Mom her a ring.
03:40Oh, you know what you've been telling me all week?
03:42That's awesome.
03:43If your mom is happy, I'm super happy.
03:46Yeah, she's super happy.
03:48And Victor's awesome, don't you think?
03:53Yeah, he's awesome.
03:54Hey, you want to know what else is awesome?
03:56Yeah.
03:56Watch this.
03:57What am I?
04:00A walrus with tooth decay.
04:04Walrus with tooth decay.
04:06Look funny.
04:07Hey, you want a cheese doodle?
04:08For breakfast?
04:10No, not for breakfast.
04:11You don't eat them for breakfast.
04:12You eat a Twinkie for breakfast.
04:14Ha, ha, ha.
04:16What's wrong?
04:17What's wrong?
04:18It's a Twinkie.
04:21Hey, Dad.
04:22How come you and Mom didn't stay married?
04:26Well, sweetie, I still love your mom and everything.
04:31We're good friends.
04:32I know.
04:33You know, she likes classical music and petite fours, and I like ice fishing and Twinkies.
04:38And plus, she's real organized and ambitious and driven, and, well, I'm me.
04:46I like ice fishing and Twinkies and classical music and petite fours.
04:55I know.
04:56And that's why you're my little girl.
04:59I think I got one.
05:00No way.
05:01Are you a kid?
05:02I haven't caught anything here in six years.
05:04Look, there it is.
05:15Well, here we are.
05:16Victor's place.
05:18Wow, I can't believe I'm going to live here.
05:21It's like a palace.
05:23Hey, I guess that makes me a princess.
05:27Yeah, well, looks like that makes me the troll.
05:33Hurry, Victor.
05:34They're here.
05:35Hey, there she is.
05:37Mommy, welcome home.
05:38I miss you.
05:39Look at you.
05:40You look bigger.
05:41Mommy, Victor.
05:42What's up, tiger?
05:43I'm in there.
05:46Hey, buddy.
05:47Well, hey, welcome home.
05:50Hi, Larry.
05:51Hey.
05:52So, did you two have a good time together?
05:54Of course we did.
05:55Look at her.
05:55She's little princess.
05:56We had fun, didn't we?
05:57We had tons of fun.
05:58We went skating.
06:00We went sledding.
06:01We played hockey.
06:03And today, we went ice fishing.
06:05Ice fishing?
06:07How outdoorsy.
06:08Yeah.
06:08And I caught a fish.
06:10Show him, Daddy.
06:11Sure did, let's try it.
06:12Look at that.
06:13Look how fat that is.
06:14That's a big one.
06:15Might even be pregnant.
06:16How was the honeymoon?
06:18Oh, fantastic.
06:19A week in St. Croix.
06:21Another sailing around the islands.
06:24Victor has his own boat.
06:26Wow.
06:27So, I guess it was your second best honeymoon.
06:29I think you forget ours, huh?
06:32Sizzler in a movie, huh?
06:34That was some good steak.
06:36Yeah, that's big time.
06:37Well, I'm not going to brag about it.
06:39Congratulations, Victor.
06:41Now, when she refers to her idiot husband, she'll be talking about you instead of me.
06:47Larry.
06:49Well, you're just getting nowhere on your decorations.
06:51A little late, isn't it?
06:52Well, Trish told me how much Noel loves Christmas.
06:55I love it!
06:58He may have gone a little overboard.
07:00No.
07:03So, what do you think?
07:05Wow.
07:07So pretty.
07:09Anything for you, sugar plum?
07:11It's our first Christmas together.
07:12I wanted it to be a memorable one.
07:15Mmm, sugar cookies!
07:17Oh, after you wash your hands.
07:20Yeah, you got to get that fish mouth off of there.
07:23Larry, how about a cup of coffee?
07:24Hey, I could go for that.
07:26Love it.
07:26Love coffee.
07:27Ah, Victor, have a...
07:28Please.
07:29Take that fish.
07:37So, how's the business?
07:39Sorry, man.
07:39You go first.
07:40Oh, you do it!
07:41How's the trucking business?
07:42Part-time, right?
07:44Well, yeah, it's part-time.
07:46But, see, that's how I like it.
07:47Part-time is good.
07:49That gives me more time to spend with my daughter.
07:56So, how's the, uh, cardboard box business treating you?
08:00Great.
08:01Baxter Box Company is up, uh, 20% this year.
08:04Online sales are booming.
08:06I mean, all those packages have to be shipped somewhere, right?
08:10My grandfather would be proud.
08:13Yep, I built Baxter Box into an empire.
08:17What's this little deal right here?
08:19Look at that little box.
08:20What, do you add water and it gets bigger?
08:23It's a little something I had made for the holidays to give the workers at the company.
08:27You know, take it.
08:28It's my gift to you.
08:30Really?
08:30Yeah.
08:33It's, uh, it's for decoration.
08:35You can display it on your desk.
08:37Well, I don't got a desk.
08:47Coffee's ready.
08:48Oh, yes.
08:49Hey, yeah, boy, I'll tell you what.
08:50I could go for a steaming cup of joe pelt right now.
08:53She goes back to school January 5th.
08:55So, for the rest of Noelle's vacation, we'll just alternate days, as always, with me and
09:00Victor getting Christmas Eve this year and you getting Christmas Day.
09:04Yeah, that sounds good.
09:05I'm in.
09:05That's, wait, he gets Christmas Day?
09:08Yeah.
09:09Well, we switch off every year.
09:11Alternate.
09:11This year, it's Larry's turn.
09:13I understand that.
09:14It's just, you know, it's our first Christmas as a family.
09:17I just thought we'd be together.
09:19First one.
09:20Ever.
09:20Victor, I get it one year, you get the next year.
09:23That's how it operates.
09:24Of course.
09:25I just, I just, it's Christmas Day.
09:27You know, Christmas morning, the presents under the tree, opening gifts, the Christmas dinner
09:33with all the trimmings.
09:35I got trimmings.
09:36I make delicious trimmings.
09:38Why can't I just do both?
09:41Spend half of Christmas with Dad, and then go to Mom Bakter's.
09:46That's a great idea.
09:49Come on, Dad.
09:51Please, Dad.
09:52Please.
09:56All right, we'll think of something.
09:58All right, we'll figure it out.
10:00Yay, I get two Christmases.
10:09Sorry, Larry.
10:10Victor's just so excited about being a stepdad.
10:13He wants to spend as much time as possible with Noel.
10:15Well, what's done is done.
10:19I'll tell you what, we'll go ahead and have Christmas number one at my house, and then
10:23I'll bring her over here, and you guys can have Christmas number two.
10:26Thanks, Larry.
10:28And I'll, I'll talk to Victor about how to handle these things in the future.
10:32All right.
10:33Dad, wait!
10:34Victor's going to put on the Christmas lights!
10:36Okay, you ready?
10:37Come on, honey, let's go.
10:38Here we go, ready?
10:40One, two, three.
10:44Wow!
10:46Wow!
10:48Victor, that's amazing!
10:50Dad, have you ever seen something so beautiful?
10:54Yeah, it's something, all right.
10:56It is something, that's for sure.
10:58This is going to be the best Christmas ever!
11:05See y'all later.
11:07Good night, Daddy.
11:08Good night, darling.
11:10Hey, Ben Franklin, you got a bulb out.
11:12Ha-ha!
11:15It's all right, honey.
11:17You did good.
11:18Can't wait for Christmas
11:21And the lights are the Christmas tree
11:26No way.
11:28He actually called her my little sugar plug.
11:30Yeah, I was standing right there.
11:32Wow.
11:33Even I know that's a violation of Daddy's stepdaddy protocol.
11:37You're going to kick his butt like you did Kip Kornhausen?
11:40Kip Kornhausen?
11:41Oh, man.
11:43That was in third grade.
11:44No, I'm not going to kick his butt.
11:46I'm going to teach him a lesson, though.
11:48Ha-ha!
11:48When it comes to Christmas spirit,
11:51I'm fit to be Victor's worst nightmare.
11:54But the toy every little girl and boy wants for Christmas
11:57is Harrison, the talking bear.
11:59Hey, check this out.
12:00Using a sophisticated computer chip,
12:03Harrison can learn up to 300 words,
12:05including a child's name.
12:08Hi, I'm Harrison.
12:11What's your name, Margo?
12:13Nice to meet you, Margo.
12:15Let's be friends.
12:17Ha-ha!
12:18Well, if you want one in time for Christmas,
12:20well, you better hurry.
12:21Supplies are limited, and they're not...
12:23Man, I wish I had one of those when I was a kid.
12:26There it is right there.
12:28Christmas lights 100 foot for $32.99.
12:31So if I want to get as many as Victor's got,
12:34let's see, that's going to run me about, uh...
12:37Oh, a liver and two kidneys.
12:40Oh, boy.
12:42You know he's going to have a whole winter wonderland
12:43over there for her,
12:44and I can't really compete with his wallet,
12:46so I'm going to have to use my head.
12:48I'll take the wallet for first-round knockout.
12:51Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Mags.
12:53It's on the house, Larry.
12:58Wait a minute.
12:59I've got a great idea.
13:01Come on.
13:06Well, that about does it.
13:07We're all done.
13:08That's it.
13:09That's the last part.
13:10You know, using these used car parts,
13:12Larry, was a great idea.
13:14This thing's going to look amazing.
13:16Darn right it will.
13:17Tell you what, Victor can put that in his wallet
13:18and sit on it.
13:19You're not going to find better Christmas lights
13:21than that anywhere.
13:22Not even at Kmart.
13:24Speaking of the devil.
13:25Well, looky here.
13:29This is going to be fun.
13:31Hi, Daddy.
13:32Hey.
13:34What's this?
13:38Looks like you're using a lot of electricity, Larry.
13:41You sure this thing is safe?
13:42Come on, now.
13:43Of course it is.
13:43I rigged it myself.
13:44Obviously it's safe.
13:46All right.
13:48Oh, for Pete's sake.
13:51Claude, would you get up here?
13:53All right.
13:55In honor of Christmas and Noel,
13:58I bring to everybody
14:00Larry's Spectacular Parade of Lights.
14:03Use it, please, Claude.
14:15That ought to be in some kind
14:16of a home and garden magazine right there.
14:18That's unbelievable.
14:32What do you think of that, sweetheart?
14:34It's awesome!
14:36It's glorious.
14:37And now I present to you
14:39the grand finale,
14:41as they say in French,
14:43the peace
14:43of the resistance.
14:51Daddy!
14:54Daddy?
14:55Harry, are you okay?
14:58Am I in heaven?
15:01No.
15:02Hi, Victor.
15:06Sorry there was a Pyreides last night,
15:08so we couldn't make pancakes this morning
15:10or bake Christmas cookies last night.
15:12It's okay.
15:12I can bake cookies later
15:14with Chef Felipe.
15:15Who's Chef Felipe?
15:17It's Victor Chef.
15:18Chef?
15:19I bet Victor Chef
15:21ain't got fruity pebbles.
15:22How's them fruity pebbles?
15:23Delish.
15:24Ah, that's right.
15:26They're delicious.
15:27Dad, I think we need a new holiday tree.
15:31What's wrong with that one?
15:32That's one of them little Charlie Brown trees.
15:34He's so cute.
15:37I like the smell of Mommy and Victor's better.
15:43And it doesn't have enough room for presents.
15:48Why don't you and me go shopping for a big old Christmas tree?
15:52Yay!
15:53Call Vince!
15:55Can I have this one?
15:57It's almost as big as the one that Mommy and Victor have at their house.
16:01Yeah, but honey, that thing's $300.
16:03I mean, that's crazy.
16:05$300, it ought to already have presents underneath it.
16:09You know what, sugar?
16:10Pickin' the Christmas tree is like pickin' a boyfriend.
16:12Trust me, you can't just settle on the first one.
16:14Or the second one.
16:15Or the third.
16:16Or the fourth.
16:16Or the fifth.
16:17Okay, I get it, Dad.
16:18Hey, can I get apple cider?
16:22I'll tell you what, that's the best idea I've heard all day.
16:25Here you go.
16:26Get me one if it's not $300.
16:28Okay.
16:35So, you like what you see?
16:38Uh, I plead the fifth.
16:42Well, we have a wide variety of trees here.
16:44I see.
16:45If you want a fir tree, we've got Douglas fir, we've got Noble fir, we've got Conkler fir, we've got
16:50Canaan fir.
16:51But you know what, you look more like a pine guy to me.
16:54Do I look like a pine guy?
16:55Uh-huh.
16:56Here I thought I was more of a Conkler.
16:58Boy, all these years I've been living a lie.
17:00Well, we have white pine, Virginia pine, and scotch pine.
17:04So, what's your pleasure?
17:05I want something very special.
17:07And cheap.
17:08Special and cheap, huh?
17:10Well, the ones that are cheaper tend to be on the more sparse side.
17:14But you can cover it up if you flock it.
17:16Flocked?
17:17This one right here is only $165.
17:21$165.
17:22How much is the flocking?
17:23Oh, the flocking's free.
17:25You know what?
17:26I'll just take the flocking.
17:28Well, you could go for this little guy over here.
17:30He might be more in your price range.
17:33What in tarnation is that thing?
17:36That is a special order.
17:3850-foot Norway spruce shipped from Maine.
17:4150-foot?
17:42It costs $10,000.
17:44$10,000?
17:47What kind of blockhead buys a Christmas tree for $10,000?
17:52Okay.
17:53Yeah, yeah.
17:53That's great.
17:54Oh, never mind.
17:55Uh, hey, can you give me a second?
17:57I want to check that tree out.
17:58Sure.
17:59That's something else.
18:03Couldn't find anything bigger?
18:05Just kidding.
18:06Thank you very much.
18:07It's fantastic.
18:10Hey, Trish.
18:11Oh, oh, it's perfect.
18:13Noelle's going to love it.
18:13It's going to be the best tree lighting ever.
18:16Victor, I get that Baxter Box always goes to town's tree lighting ceremony,
18:19but do you really have to buy the town a $10,000 tree?
18:23Are you trying to run for mayor or something?
18:25No, no, hon.
18:26I'm just trying to buy some goodwill and affection here.
18:29I just figure the bigger the tree, the more the affection, right?
18:32Oh, so he's trying to buy Noelle's love.
18:35My little girl's love ain't for sale for anybody.
18:38Oh, sorry.
18:39Hey!
18:40Oh, I'm in here.
18:42Turn it off!
18:43I can't see!
18:45Turn it off!
18:46Somebody turn this machine off!
18:48I can't...
18:56Dad, what happened?
18:59Well, I hope somebody got the license plate of that pigeon.
19:04You want to have a snowball fight, huh?
19:06Come on!
19:14Bouchie!
19:15Yeah!
19:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:17Na, na, na, na, na, na, ya!
19:19Come on, here's me!
19:22No, no, no!
19:24You have got a really good arm!
19:26Yes!
19:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:32Ah!
19:32Gotcha!
19:33Ha, ha, ha!
19:34Oh, she's jumping!
19:35Ah!
19:36No!
19:37Okay, this is war!
19:38Yeah!
19:39Ah!
19:40Oh!
19:40Oh!
19:41Ah!
19:41Ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:44Ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:44Ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:45Ha!
19:46Ow!
19:47Ow!
19:47Ow!
19:48I'm gonna feel this in the morning!
19:49Yeah!
19:50How are you even doing that?
19:52Oh!
19:53Oh!
19:54Ha!
19:55Ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:56I hit you a hundred times!
19:59I got you a million and a ninety-eight!
20:05Hey, you two have fun?
20:07We had tons of fun.
20:08I totally nailed Victor.
20:10Oh, good for you.
20:12Well, your lunch is ready for you in the kitchen.
20:14And remember, we're dropping you off your dads at three.
20:18We have enough time for another snowball fight after lunch!
20:21Right, Victor?
20:23You wouldn't be interested in peace talks, would you?
20:26Not a chance!
20:29I had a lot of fun with you, Victor.
20:37You're almost as much fun as my dad.
20:45You're almost as much fun as my dad.
20:52I can't compete with that guy.
20:56Skating, sledding, hockey, ice fishing.
21:00He was like a big, squishy teddy bear.
21:02This isn't a competition, Victor.
21:05You're Noelle's dad, too.
21:07Dad number two.
21:09Second best.
21:10Runner-up.
21:11A substitute.
21:14Not the real thing, but a startling simulation.
21:17Dad two, as in dad also.
21:21Your job is to be there for Noelle, same as Larry.
21:26That's all that matters.
21:28Okay?
21:42I'm telling you, Claude.
21:44Bitch, you may have a snow machine, but Noelle is going to love this.
21:47Larry, this is crazy.
21:49Yeah, but this is a real good kind of crazy.
21:52Who needs a snow machine when you've got real snow?
21:57Go like this.
21:58It's better on your back.
22:06When is he going to be here?
22:07I'm sure he'll be here soon, honey.
22:10Hopefully in the next year.
22:12It's Larry.
22:14There he is.
22:18Hey!
22:19Hey!
22:21You were something like I'd never seen.
22:24Hi, Daddy!
22:25Where's my little girl?
22:30Good night, Larch.
22:32Whoa, you're getting big.
22:33We've been waiting for a half hour, Larry.
22:35Where have you been?
22:36I got a surprise for Noelle.
22:38A surprise?
22:39What is it?
22:39What is it?
22:40How would you like to have some real snow at Christmas?
22:43We already have snow at Victor's.
22:45I know, but that's that fake stuff.
22:47I mean, real snow.
22:48Just come out of the sky and everything.
22:50It's real snow, not that synthetic, man-made, polyester stuff that you've got at your house.
22:55This is real.
22:57That would be awesome.
22:59Darn right it would be.
23:00Let's show these non-believers, Larry.
23:02Boy, I'm so bad.
23:03I'm excited.
23:04This is the best idea I ever had.
23:05Get ready to be bulldozed.
23:08Ah!
23:09Ah!
23:12Ah!
23:13Ah!
23:15Ah!
23:15Anybody got a towel?
23:16Daddy?
23:21You know what that is?
23:22No.
23:23It's a tickle monster!
23:24Ah!
23:25Ah!
23:26It's a tickle monster!
23:28All right, you goof.
23:29Time for bed.
23:32Good night, Dad.
23:33Thanks for the snow.
23:34I really liked it.
23:36Even though it was melted and everything.
23:39Ah, sweetie.
23:40That's nice of you.
23:41I appreciate it.
23:43Listen, I love you.
23:45Good night.
23:46Now, you have a good night's sleep, okay?
23:47Good night, Daddy.
23:49Good night, sweetie.
23:59Oh.
24:00I don't know, Claude.
24:01I just can't catch a break.
24:03I don't know how I can compete with Victor.
24:06No, it's tough.
24:07I'll give you that.
24:08He's younger, richer, more educated.
24:12He's in great shape.
24:13Much, much, much better looking.
24:15All right, I get the point.
24:17Look, the more important question is,
24:19why do you feel the need to compete with Victor?
24:22Noelle doesn't care about that stuff.
24:24She loves you for you, Larry.
24:26I am pretty lovable.
24:30Good night, Larry.
24:33See you later, Claude.
24:42Is my angel ready to order?
24:44I sure am.
24:46I was referring to the little angel.
24:48Oh, sorry.
24:49My usual, Maggie, please.
24:52PB and J, light on the PB and heavy on the J.
24:56Correct.
24:56You know what?
24:57I'll have the same thing I always have, too.
25:00Deep-fried everything, hold the salad.
25:02Boom.
25:03Tell you what, Maggie, you know me pretty good.
25:06I got your number, Larry.
25:12See what you're working on there, your homework?
25:14My letter to Santa.
25:16Letter to Santa?
25:17I thought you got that done July 4th.
25:21There's something special I want.
25:24What is it?
25:25I can't tell you, or anyone else.
25:28If I do, it won't come true.
25:31It's like making a wish.
25:33No, no, no, don't worry.
25:35I'm not going to ruin that, but, uh, hey, can you give me a little hint?
25:40I'm asking Santa for the one thing I want more than anything in the world.
25:50Well, hey, I got an idea.
25:53There's a mailbox right over there.
25:55Why don't you give me the letter, and then I'll run it out there.
25:59Would you, Daddy?
26:01Thank you so much.
26:02You got it, Squirtle.
26:03Come, I'll be right back.
26:15Hey, Larry.
26:16Hey, Claude.
26:17What's going on?
26:17What's going on, too?
26:18Ha, ha, ha.
26:19Noel's letter to Santa Claus.
26:21Figure what Victor can do in quantity, I can do with quality.
26:25What?
26:26You're not thinking of opening that, are you?
26:29Yeah, of course.
26:31I mean, look, Victor can get her big old trees and a bunch of fancy lights and a bunch of
26:35fake snow.
26:37But when I see what she's got in here, what she really wants for Christmas, I can give
26:41it to her.
26:42That's a private letter.
26:44Not addressed to you.
26:45Not to mention, that's a federal crime.
26:49Claude, it's my daughter's letter to Santa Claus.
26:53I think we're going to be fine.
26:55That's just wrong.
26:56Wrong, wrong, wrong.
26:58And you see this?
26:59This is my letter to Santa Claus.
27:01If I find out you tampered with it, well, you're going to answer to me and Mr. Claus himself.
27:12Boy, who pooped in his hash browns?
27:38Oh boy, her handwriting's horrible.
27:41Just like her daddy.
27:42Dear Santa, for Christmas I want my family to get her, her, her, uh, her-son-ay.
27:53Huh?
27:55What the heck's a her-son-ay?
27:57Bye-bye, Daddy!
27:59See you later, sweetheart!
28:04So, what did you and Larry do today?
28:07Not much.
28:08Uh-huh.
28:08More ice fishing?
28:10No, we just went to the diner.
28:14I wrote a letter of Santa!
28:16Oh, oh, oh, let me guess.
28:17Uh, Pixie and her Starburst buddies.
28:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, little Paris and her magical closet.
28:23Those are little kid toys.
28:26Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
28:27What, um, what did you ask Santa for?
28:31I can't tell you or else I won't get what I want.
28:34I didn't even tell Dad.
28:36Oh, oh, well, you know, we should probably mail those letters right away.
28:42So, uh, you know, I could take it for you.
28:45Dad already did.
28:47Did he?
28:48He ran right out of the diner to mail as soon as I wrote it.
28:55Really?
28:58Thanks.
28:59Excuse me.
29:04Security Welling here.
29:05Welling!
29:06I have an assignment for you.
29:10Hmm.
29:13Yes, sir.
29:14It would be my pleasure, sir.
29:31What are you up to, Chubby?
29:42Oh, hey!
29:43Hi, I'm Jeffrey.
29:44Welcome to Toy Traders.
29:45Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, and a very happy winter solstice.
29:51I think you got all the bases covered, Jim.
29:53Oh, thank you.
29:54Hey, listen.
29:55I'm looking for something, but I don't quite know what I'm looking for.
29:58Okay.
30:01Harrisona.
30:03I'm sorry.
30:04I'm having a hard time reading your handwriting.
30:06Oh, that's not my handwriting.
30:07That's my daughter.
30:07She said it.
30:08Mine's a lot worse.
30:10Trust me.
30:10Oh, it is.
30:11Wow.
30:12Um, yeah.
30:14You have any of those?
30:15Yeah.
30:16Uh, no clue.
30:17No idea, sir.
30:19Hmm.
30:20Wait a second.
30:21Unless she means Harrison.
30:23What's a Harrison?
30:25Harrison the Talking Bear?
30:27You are going to love this.
30:28Follow me.
30:29Yes!
30:30Why, Harrison the Talking Bear?
30:32Haven't you heard?
30:33It's only the most popular toy amongst the coveted five to ten-year-old age demographic.
30:37So, the bear learns the kids' names, and then sends it back to them.
30:42It's the hottest toy this season.
30:44Really?
30:44Oh, yeah.
30:45That bear?
30:45They love it.
30:46That's what kids are going nuts over.
30:48Going nuts for the bear!
30:49Well, all right.
30:50I guess I'll get my daughter once.
30:51Oh, sorry.
30:52But we're all sold out.
30:53But, these things keep flying off the shelves as fast as we can stock them.
30:57Oh, man.
30:57My daughter really wants one of these bears.
31:00You think maybe you might have one in the back?
31:02Sorry.
31:05But, if you write your name and number down there, I will call you as soon as we get some
31:09more in.
31:10You think maybe some other stores might have one of these bears?
31:13Hmm, maybe.
31:14But, you'll have to try again tomorrow, because all the shops are closing up right now.
31:18All right.
31:19Well, looks like tomorrow, I'm going bear hunting.
31:22No, thanks for shopping at Toy Traders.
31:23Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, very happy winter solstice!
31:29Okay, okay.
31:30Merry Christmas in any language.
31:31Merry Christmas.
31:32Hey!
31:33Hi, I'm Jeffrey.
31:34Welcome to Toy Traders.
31:36Can I help you out with anything?
31:38A Harrison talking bear.
31:40Are you sure?
31:41That's what he asked for.
31:42He seemed really desperate to get it.
31:45So, Noel wants a Harrison talking bear.
31:49And, to your knowledge, he hasn't found one yet?
31:52Nope.
31:53All the other stores are closed.
31:54Although, he'll certainly be out looking for one tomorrow.
31:58Good.
32:00I have another assignment for you.
32:09Five more minutes.
32:10Give me five more minutes.
32:1611 30.
32:22I got the holiday wrapped up tight.
32:28Getting ready for the Christmas night.
32:32Wrapping up the presents.
32:34Wrapping up the year.
32:35Take the good with the bad.
32:36Be a good cheer.
32:38I don't think I asked for much.
32:41I'm just a little sad and such.
32:43Oh, what you gonna get me for Christmas?
32:46Christmas.
32:48If I can have just one thing.
32:50I'll make it everything.
32:53Yeah, I want it on for Christmas.
32:55Christmas.
32:56Christmas.
33:00Hi.
33:01This is Peyton Harris.
33:10I got the holiday wrapped up tight.
33:13I got the holiday wrapped up tight.
33:16Getting ready for the Christmas night.
33:21I don't think I asked for much.
33:23I'm just a little sad and such.
33:26Oh, what you gonna get me for Christmas?
33:29Christmas.
33:31Christmas.
33:31If I could have just one thing.
33:33I'll make it all.
33:34Let's load him up and move him out.
33:37Christmas.
33:40Christmas.
33:42Yeah, yeah.
33:44Let's wrap it up.
33:46Wrap it up.
33:49Yeah, yeah.
33:50Oh, man.
33:52Wrap it up.
33:53Yeah, yeah.
33:55Wrap it up.
33:56Yeah, yeah.
33:57I'll make it all for Christmas.
34:02Hi.
34:03Excuse me.
34:12Mine.
34:21Uh-huh.
34:22Yeah, I understand.
34:23Ah.
34:24Well, let me ask you.
34:25You gonna be getting any more Harrison Bears in?
34:28Well, I'm glad it's the daggum funny.
34:32Still no luck?
34:34Nothing.
34:35Tried every toy store, then 500 miles.
34:38Waynesville, Morgantown, Boone.
34:40They're all sold out.
34:41Well, what about online?
34:44eBay?
34:45They got rush delivery, right?
34:47As soon as they get to him, he's on the 26th.
34:49I need it on Christmas, not the day after.
34:51Well, I'm sure that she'll love whatever you got her.
34:56Yeah.
34:57That's the problem.
34:59I didn't get her nothing yet.
35:02Planning ahead, I see.
35:04Maggie, it ain't easy.
35:06Back in the day when she was littler,
35:08you know, going to some toy store,
35:09get her some kind of a doll with pink on it
35:12or some kind of unicorn or bunny
35:13or something with a magic wand.
35:16She's older now.
35:17It just doesn't work.
35:18It's a lot harder.
35:21I gotta get that bear.
35:29Here's Larry.
35:30Hey, this is Jeffrey calling from Toy Traders.
35:32You signed up for the Harrison wait list?
35:34Well, I'm calling to tell you
35:36that we have more Harrison bears just arrived.
35:38They'll be available tomorrow morning
35:40on a first-come, first-served basis.
35:42So get here early.
35:44Oh, man.
35:45I don't believe it.
35:46I got me a Harrison bear.
35:50Woo!
35:51Pie for everybody.
35:53You're the only one here, Larry.
35:55Well, I'll take theirs.
36:03Hey, Mr. Welling.
36:06Hey, this is Jeffrey calling from Toy Traders.
36:08Well, I'm calling to tell you
36:10some really, really good news.
36:12I see.
36:13First-come, first-served.
36:15What time do you open?
36:18And we'll see you then.
36:30I'm awake.
36:31I'm awake.
36:32I'm awake.
36:41Yeah, you're a pretty good dad, Larry.
36:43I bet Victor wouldn't do this for Noel.
36:47Oh, man.
36:49You gotta be kidding me.
36:52Hey, is everybody in this line
36:53to buy a Harrison bear?
36:55That's right, friend.
36:58What some people won't do to get a toy, huh?
37:01Yeah.
37:03It's crazy.
37:11How you doing?
37:13Some bear.
37:20Good morning, everyone.
37:22Thank you for waiting outside all night long.
37:24I am thrilled to let you know
37:26that we have a new shipment of Harrison bears.
37:33Okay, one at a time.
37:35Let's slow down.
37:36Pick a time.
37:37There's no rush.
37:42Where are these bears?
37:47What?
37:48There's nothing here.
37:50Oh, man, this can't be happening.
37:52Hey, where are all the bears?
37:55Yeah, where's the new shipment?
37:57I'm sorry, everyone,
37:58but the Harrison bears have sold out.
38:01What?
38:01Come on.
38:04Thank you for shopping at Toy Traders
38:06and have a very merry Christmas,
38:08a happy holidays,
38:09a happy Hanukkah,
38:10a happy Kwanzaa,
38:10and a very happy winter solstice.
38:13Ah.
38:14You mean to tell me
38:14that thing sold out in five minutes?
38:16More like 30 seconds.
38:18First customer just came and bought them all.
38:21Oh, he bought every one of them bears?
38:23Yeah, all 50 of them.
38:25Guess he's got a lot of kids.
38:27You guy like some kind of a one per family limit or something?
38:30Well, I told you, it was first come, first serve.
38:34Boy.
38:35You know what?
38:36I hope you have a sucky holiday,
38:38a sucky Christmas,
38:39a sucky Hanukkah,
38:40a sucky Kwanzaa,
38:41and a sucky winter salsa.
38:46What are you looking at?
38:47You started the whole thing.
38:49Oh, okay.
38:51Well, it looks like someone's going to get coal
38:53in their stocking this year
38:54when the coal,
38:55when the fairies put the coal
38:57and you just wish you had something other than coal.
39:04Ah.
39:11Hey.
39:13You're the guy at the front of the line.
39:15Are you the guy that's been buying up all these bears?
39:18First come, first serve.
39:20You got like 50 of them.
39:21How many kids you got?
39:22I have a lot of nephews and nieces.
39:25Hey, listen.
39:26You think maybe you could spare me one of them?
39:29I mean, I'll give you $100.
39:32$100, one bear.
39:34Sorry.
39:35Man, look, I'm des...
39:36Man, I'm really desperate.
39:38I'd love to have one of those.
39:39Damn, I...
39:39Ah, jeez.
39:41Ah, uncle.
39:43If you'll excuse me,
39:44I have a lot more holiday shopping to attend to.
39:53If I wasn't full of Christmas spirit,
39:54I'd have knocked him out.
39:59And you're certain
40:00there's not a single Harrison bear
40:01on any shelf in town?
40:04Uh-huh.
40:06Thank you, Welling.
40:10Noelle?
40:11Your dad's here.
40:15Bye, sweet pea.
40:16Bye, Mom.
40:20So, how's everything, Larry?
40:21Oh, awesome.
40:22Real good.
40:23Couldn't be better.
40:24Dude, any last-minute Christmas shopping?
40:25A little bit.
40:26You?
40:26Nope, nope, no.
40:27I think I got it pretty much wrapped up this year.
40:28Good.
40:28In fact, I think this is going to turn out
40:31to be an extra-special Christmas
40:32for someone we both know.
40:36You two have fun.
40:40Come on, Dad.
40:48Wow.
40:49This is looking really great.
40:51You're darn right it, Dad.
40:52Look at it.
40:53Dad, you're eating all the shingles.
40:56I know.
40:58It's pathetic, ain't it?
41:00Here I thought I'd be pulled after the chimney.
41:04Don't worry, sweetheart.
41:06I got enough shingles for 10,000 gingerbread houses.
41:09Hey, I bet Victor doesn't have time
41:12to make a gingerbread house with you like I do.
41:15No.
41:16He's been awfully busy.
41:18I mean, some big project called
41:21Operation Who's Your Daddy.
41:26Let me ask you something.
41:27You didn't happen to tell Victor
41:28was in that letter you wrote to Santa Claus, did you?
41:31Oh, no, Dad.
41:32I want to do anything that might keep me
41:34from getting what I asked for.
41:36Boy, you really want that thing, don't you?
41:39Whatever it is.
41:42Hey, sweetheart, let me ask you something.
41:45What if Santa Claus isn't able
41:47to get you what you asked for?
41:48Oh, no, Dad.
41:49Don't even say that.
41:50I know Santa will come through.
41:53He just has to.
42:06You haven't even touched your pie.
42:08Oh, Maggie.
42:09I ain't got much of an appetite.
42:12Maybe I should take your pulse
42:14to see if you're still alive.
42:15It's a dead gum stuffed bear.
42:17It's stressing me out.
42:19You haven't found one yet?
42:20No.
42:21Them stuffed bears are rarer
42:22than a cab driver with fresh breath.
42:26Hey, maybe you should ask those ladies
42:28where they got theirs.
42:30Hurry!
42:31That's a Harrison bear.
42:33I'll be right back.
42:38Excuse me, ladies.
42:39Excuse me, ladies.
42:40Hold on.
42:42I'm desperate.
42:43It's a batch of bear.
42:44What about the bear?
42:46Well, I want it,
42:47and I was wondering if anybody...
42:49No!
42:49You're the fifth person
42:50in the last hour
42:51to ask us about it.
42:52And we're telling you
42:53like we told all the others,
42:54it's not for sale
42:55at any price.
42:56No, I don't want to buy it.
42:58I was just saying...
42:58So you just want to take it?
43:01Nobody takes this bear.
43:02It's for our grandniece.
43:05No, I think you're misunderstanding.
43:06We're warning you.
43:07We've taken a senior citizen
43:09self-defense class.
43:10Huh?
43:11Stop!
43:14That'll teach you.
43:15Don't mess with a senior.
43:18There you go.
43:20The nervousness is getting violent.
43:29The Harrison Bear.
43:33Rooster's Tavern
43:34Reindeer Charity Fundraiser.
43:38Yeah!
43:42Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,
43:45to Rooster's Tavern's
43:47annual fucking
43:48reindeer charity fundraiser!
43:52Hooray!
43:55I'm not too crazy about this.
43:57We have ten very brave
43:59Santas up here
44:00willing to risk
44:02life and limb
44:03to help raise money
44:05to St. Luke's Children's Hospital
44:06by trying to see
44:07how long
44:08they can stay up!
44:12I mean, I've never ridden
44:13a mechanical reindeer before.
44:14Neither have I.
44:15But the way I figure it,
44:17folks off this ride
44:17and it gives us
44:18a better chance
44:18of wearing that Harrison
44:19bear down there
44:20for no while.
44:20And the Santa
44:21who stays on the longest
44:22will win
44:24our grand prize!
44:27Ho, ho, ho, ho!
44:29We got it.
44:29We got it.
44:30Better give up now, fellas.
44:31My boy wants
44:32that bear for Christmas
44:33and I never
44:34let my boy down.
44:36Yeah, well,
44:36my little girl
44:36wants it too
44:37and I never
44:37let my little girl down.
44:40Tell you something,
44:41it ain't over
44:41until it's over.
44:42Oh, it's over.
44:43Let the game
44:44begin!
44:47Santa number one!
44:48Victory!
44:49That's Santa number one
44:50up here.
44:51Are you ready?
44:51Santa number one!
44:53On your mark!
44:54Get shut!
44:56Let's rise!
44:58Welcome to Santa!
44:59Oh, my God!
45:04He's holding over to your life!
45:06He's holding us!
45:07Thank you!
45:08He's off!
45:09We've got his score!
45:11Seven seconds!
45:12Not a bad start,
45:13Santa number one!
45:14Well, let's get
45:15the second Santa Claus
45:16up here!
45:16Good luck, Claude!
45:18You can do it, Claude!
45:19Stay on her, buddy!
45:21Santa number two,
45:22are you ready?
45:23I'm ready.
45:24Ready, set,
45:26let's ride!
45:28Oh, my God!
45:29Come on!
45:31That was
45:31anchor today.
45:33How long did I go for?
45:34You were on board.
45:37One second!
45:38What?
45:39One second, everybody!
45:41Keep it going for Santa!
45:42Santa number three!
45:43Let's ride!
45:45Let's ride!
45:46Let's ride!
45:47Let's ride!
45:49Let's ride!
45:51Let's ride!
45:52He's got nine seconds!
45:53Woo!
45:54Here we are!
46:00Let's ride!
46:01Let's ride!
46:03Oh, ho, ho!
46:07Go, go, go!
46:09Here we are!
46:10Yes!
46:11Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
46:14Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
46:14Santa number seven!
46:15Come on down!
46:16Let's go!
46:19Let's go!
46:21Let's go!
46:22Let's go!
46:23Number seven, throw a knife!
46:24Oh yeah!
46:26This guy is famous!
46:28Oh my gosh!
46:30Look at this guy go!
46:31Oh, he's still hanging on!
46:33He's holding on for dear life!
46:35He's still going!
46:37Help man, he's feeling alive!
46:39You've got to be kidding me!
46:40Number seven, 22 seconds!
46:44Let's go!
46:46Let's go!
46:48You've done it, number seven!
46:49What are you going to do, Larry?
46:51You can't hold on for 23 seconds!
46:53I want to get something out of my truck, come on!
46:55Let me tell you something, this glue is going to give me the edge I need!
46:58Do me a favor, get my backside, would you?
47:00Oh, that's disgusting!
47:01Would you just do my backside there?
47:03Do you want Noel to win that bear or not?
47:05Oh yeah!
47:07Do not forget, you must get at least 23 seconds on the bull to win the grand prize!
47:14Let's go, boys!
47:15As long!
47:17Come on, Timmer!
47:19What are you doing?!
47:21What are you doing?!
47:21He's playing
47:22in the back of the way!
47:26How fast this thing go?
47:28Okay, go!
47:29Let go!
47:34Let go!
48:01He's done it in 31 seconds, we got a new champion!
48:05I won! I won! 31 seconds, you hear?
48:10You have won yourself a weekend for two in the beautiful, romantic, Pocono Mountains!
48:20Pocono?
48:21No, no, no, I wanted the bear! I thought first prize was the bear!
48:26Well done! Now, in second place, rider number seven, you have won Harrison the Talking Bear!
48:34I won?
48:38My boy's gonna have the best Christmas ever!
48:42Oh yeah! Number two! Give it up for number two!
48:46Oh yeah!
48:48And what am I gonna do with the trip to the Poconos?
48:51I'll go with you.
48:53Come on, Claude.
48:55Boy, it's breezy in here.
48:59I'll tell you, Claude.
49:00I don't know.
49:01I know this, though.
49:03At this rate, I'm never gonna get one of them bears.
49:14What is going on?
49:20Harrison loves to play!
49:22Anybody in the air?
49:24That tickles!
49:26Hi, baby Harrison.
49:28Time for a nap!
49:31Hi, Heidi Ho!
49:32I'm Harrison!
49:40This is fun!
49:41Harrison loves exercise!
49:43Where are all these bears coming from?
49:47Oh, you!
49:48Oh, you!
49:49Hey, did you get any more of them talking bears in?
49:52Oh, hey!
49:52We certainly do!
49:53Oh, man, everybody's got one but me.
49:55Can I have one?
49:56Yes, you can.
49:57Yes, you can.
49:58Hi, I'm Larry the Loser Bear.
50:00Get her done.
50:02Hey, that ain't a Harrison bear.
50:03That's a me bear!
50:04Why, this is the second most popular toy amongst the coveted five to ten-year-old age demographic.
50:09Second most?
50:10Well, what's the most popular?
50:11This one?
50:13Hi-de-ho!
50:15I'm Victor the Talking Bear.
50:16I'm the best dad ever, and I'll buy whatever your little heart desires.
50:23I love that one!
50:25Every kid in America wants one of these.
50:27A Victor bear?
50:29Daddy, can I please have it?
50:31That's the thing I want more than anything for Christmas!
50:44I'm here at Town Hall where they're setting up a soup kitchen for the homeless.
50:48As you can see, there are some wonderful toys that will be handed out at noon today to needy boys
50:54and girls by none other than Santa himself.
50:57Ho, ho, ho!
50:59Merry Christmas!
51:01Thank you, Santa.
51:02I'm Margot Price, Channel One News.
51:04Thanks, Margot.
51:05Oh, man.
51:07You could not be thinking what you're thinking right now.
51:31No gill there.
51:32come on. This $500 donation way makes up for that bear. All right. Larry? Larry Phillips?
51:44Yeah. Is that you? Oh, hey, Janie. How's Trix? Good, good. I was just dropping off some presents
51:52to donate for the charity event. I haven't seen you since we graduated from high school.
51:57I know. It's been a long time. All right, then. Larry, don't give up.
52:02No, it's bound to get better. Oh, no, Janie. I'm doing fine, really. These are just old
52:09clothes. It's wash day. I hope this isn't because I dumped you, Larry.
52:14Well, hold on a second. I kind of remember that differently. It was kind of mutual.
52:19Oh, okay. I have to go to church, but it was really good seeing you again. You too.
52:24And I'm sure this is all just a little rough patch, you know, and I just want you to be
52:29brave.
52:30I don't need money, Janie. Larry, there is no shame in accepting help. You poor, poor man.
52:39I don't...
52:41Bye.
52:4220 bucks? Boy, I'm in the wrong business.
52:49Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Well, I think I got something very nice for you.
52:57Merry Christmas.
53:01I hear you want a doggie for Christmas.
53:04Ho, ho, ho. Well, we just happen to have one here.
53:09Here you go. Merry Christmas.
53:12Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
53:15Oh.
53:17That's what makes it all worthwhile.
53:21Whoa.
53:22How you doing, Santa?
53:23Are you kidding me?
53:25You're cutting off the circulation in my legs.
53:28Come on. The real Santa Claus wouldn't care about stuff like that.
53:31Oh, yeah?
53:32Well, real Santa Claus is kind of busy this time of year, you might have noticed.
53:35Look, I'm here for my daughter.
53:37Oh, yeah?
53:38Why isn't she here herself?
53:40Well, I'll be honest with you. She's kind of scared of Santa Claus.
53:42How does a kid not like Santa Claus?
53:44Well, I don't know.
53:45I guess she must have sat on some Santa's lap that was sweating real bad and had bad breath and
53:49asked a lot of nosy questions.
53:51Okay, okay.
53:53Here you go.
53:54Ho, ho, this is for your daughter.
53:57She don't want that. She wants that Harrison bear. Can I get that Harrison bear?
53:59Don't. She's gonna love the dog.
54:01Santa Claus, I am not leaving your lap until I get that Harrison bear.
54:04Oh, as a matter of fact, I had some Mexican food last night and it's starting to bubble up on
54:07me.
54:08Oh, you're gonna give me that bear because if I explode on you, you're gonna have to call Roto-Rooter
54:12for some backup.
54:13Oh, give this guy his bear.
54:15All right.
54:15Give him his bear.
54:17Ha, ha!
54:19Oh, man.
54:19Santa Claus, you just made a dad and a little girl really happy.
54:24Oh, hi.
54:24I'm Harrison.
54:26I'm going for my bear.
54:27Woo!
54:27I got a new bear.
54:30Ho, ho, ho, ho.
54:32I got a bear.
54:33I got a bear.
54:35Got me a Harrison bear.
54:36I can't believe I got a bear.
54:39Whoa, is that a Harrison bear?
54:41Sure is, buddy.
54:42I got it for my daughter.
54:43Oh, she sure is lucky.
54:46I wanted the same thing, but Daddy says Santa's on a tight budget this year.
54:51That's terrible, Will.
54:53Maybe your Daddy will come up for something and you'll have a good Christmas this year.
54:57He can't.
54:58He doesn't get out of jail till Valentine's Day.
55:02He was just trying to steal enough money so Mom could get her operation.
55:07Man, that's really sad.
55:09Oh, well, I just hope Santa doesn't forget me on Christmas like he did last year and the
55:16year before that and the year before that.
55:22Hey, kid.
55:24Catch.
55:26You're giving me your Harrison talking bear?
55:29Yeah, I figure since Santa's on a tight budget this year, I'll be Santa's helper.
55:35So, Merry Christmas.
55:44And that's why some couples just have pets.
55:47I've been had.
55:49Bring me back that bear.
55:53Come back in.
55:55Bring me back my bear.
56:02Excuse me.
56:03Sorry.
56:04Get out here, sir.
56:06Get out here, sir.
56:14Get out here, you little punk.
56:16Now give me that bear.
56:18Red chance, Tubby.
56:19Tubby, come on.
56:20You know that's hurtful.
56:21I'm not Tubby.
56:22I'm Big Bone.
56:23Now give me that bear.
56:24Please, mister.
56:25Don't take my Harrison bear.
56:27I'm begging you.
56:30Just give me the bear.
56:31I won't let you take my bear, no matter how much you threaten me.
56:35Hey, hey, what's going on here?
56:36Are you threatening this little boy?
56:38I'm not threatening that little punk.
56:40He tricked me out of that bear.
56:41It was a gift from my daddy.
56:43He was in jail.
56:44And he wants to take it away from me.
56:46That's real rich, kid.
56:47That's real rich.
56:48You're pretty good, you know?
56:50Larry, just because you've fallen on hard times, that's no excuse to steal from a child.
56:56Now, y'all are misunderstanding the whole thing about what's happening here.
57:01Oh, oh, I understand.
57:02I understand you should be put in jail.
57:04Come on.
57:05Let's get him.
57:07Wait a minute.
57:08For the record, Janie, I dumped you.
57:13Oh, that's it.
57:14Let's get him.
57:15Let's get him.
57:17Let's get him.
57:33Nice work, kid.
57:3550 bucks is agreed.
57:39It'll be 100.
57:40We agreed on 50.
57:42Delivery charges?
57:43Or do you want me to give it back to the doofus?
57:47I'm starting to feel like the doofus myself, kid.
57:51On three.
57:53One, two, three.
58:00Stupid bear.
58:03That's tickle.
58:05Get back there.
58:06Get up.
58:08Get up.
58:09Get up.
58:10Get up.
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