- 7 hours ago
Taskmaster S21E03 A Creepy Bit of Advice
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00:03You
00:04Don't look away
00:17I might just do this all day
00:38Five comedy show ponies put through their paces at the gymkhana of laughs the grand national of chuckles the dressage
00:45of mirth
00:46Who will get off to a good start on firm ground today?
00:49Who will refuse at the first jump and who God forbid will have to be humanely destroyed?
00:55Find out now, please welcome Amy Glethill
01:01Armando Iannucci
01:03Joanna Page
01:06Joel Domett
01:08And Kamel Nanjani
01:12And next to me a man who is surprising in so so many ways
01:17He loves to paint for example, he's a keen bird watcher
01:20And he has a tattoo on his lower back that simply reads free Britney
01:24LAUGHTER
01:28Little Alex Hall
01:31I just think it's about time
01:35How are you going to irritate me in the first two minutes of this show?
01:38I'm not going to irritate you, I've got something that I'm going to show you that you're going to love
01:42Because I got my very first smartphone
01:45LAUGHTER
01:47You want to see it?
01:48Yeah!
01:49It's a smartphone
01:50It's a smart...
01:51It's a smart...
01:52Look, there's a little face
01:54It's a smartphone, he's all dressed up smart
01:56Yeah
01:56Right
01:57Yeah
01:58I thought you'd like that
01:59I mean, I think two things
02:00I'm irritated because that will be the end of the joke
02:02There'll be no...
02:03Right?
02:04Or you think there should be more
02:04Is there a follow-up?
02:05I knew you were going to say that
02:07Don't tell
02:07Make sure you think of a follow-up to the really funny smartphone
02:10Oh, yeah, no
02:11I sort of think there's something in that
02:14I think sort of moronic teenagers would buy that, wouldn't they?
02:17Well, I've got three, so yeah, maybe I'll ask them when we get home
02:19Put the face up again?
02:20It's my face
02:21Whee!
02:23Nice
02:24Can we copyright that live on air?
02:27That's a thing, isn't it?
02:29Copyright
02:30Copyright!
02:31On with the prize task
02:33What have they brought in this time?
02:34Well, Greg, we've still got loads of good ideas for prize task categories
02:38But this week they've brought in the most fun thing to drag behind you
02:41On a piece of string when you go for a walk
02:43We all drag string behind us when we go for a walk
02:46But what's the most fun thing to be on that string?
02:49Well, the owner of the thing judged to be most fun
02:51Will be given five points by you, Greg
02:52And also, this is important
02:55No, actually, I'm done
02:57That was it
02:59You've been quite funny today
03:02Hello, Kamal
03:03Greg
03:04I'm a 47-year-old man, Greg
03:05Yeah
03:06And to me, nothing is more fun than going to bed at a reasonable hour
03:11So what I would love to drag behind me on a piece of string is an early to bed kit
03:17Let's look at it
03:18Okay
03:20It's a clock without an alarm set
03:23Melatonin
03:24Sleep mask
03:26And a diary
03:26With
03:28One plan
03:29That they cancelled on me on
03:32Oh, I'm getting hard just thinking about it
03:36Yeah
03:36This is one sweet bit of kit
03:38You and I should hang out more often
03:40I just did one giant bed
03:43Biscuits
03:445pm dinner and then to bed
03:46Joel, what's your fun thing to drag around on a bit of string?
03:49A parachute
03:52Attached to your hip, right?
03:54Um, here is a video of me dragging such a thing behind me
04:04You might have noticed the sort of eagle-eyed amongst you that there was some writing on that parachute
04:10Prepare yourself, Greg, you're going to absolutely love this, here we go
04:12Shoot from the hip
04:14It's a play on words
04:15It's a play on...
04:15Don't like play on words
04:17I know you don't
04:18Don't like it
04:19I know you don't
04:20I was really...
04:21It's not clever puns aren't clever
04:24Not a fan of a masked singer I assume
04:28I have not missed an episode
04:31I don't mind the play on words
04:33I love you...
04:34You having a parachute
04:35Because you're far too healthy and fit and bouncy and happy
04:39And I like the idea of you being slowed down occasionally
04:42Nice
04:43Amy, you're next, what have you brought in?
04:45Well, I have brought a projector on wheels
04:50Projecting a fun video
04:53And it is a fun video
04:57I shall be the judge of that
05:00This is what Amy brought in
05:03Oh
05:11That's just constantly playing
05:12You have to charge the battery for 15 minutes and it will play that for an hour
05:18It's, er...
05:20It's sort of a phenomena of some kind
05:24That it's only the long breast I can concentrate on
05:28I thought, what's fun?
05:32So you started with a blank canvas
05:35Blanched your paper
05:36What's in life?
05:37What's fun?
05:38Circled it
05:39Yeah
05:39And then put a little circle in the middle of that circle
05:43And then wrote
05:44An even smaller one
05:46And then wrote fun bags
05:48Fun bags
05:50Literally fun
05:51One of those bags isn't fun
05:53Joanna
05:55I have brought a hip flask in the shape of a fish full of sherry
06:01Yes
06:02Thank you
06:03At last, sensible voice
06:07Now, my love of sherry started when I was about seven
06:11Oh
06:15Shrapping
06:15So I lost my appetite after chicken pox
06:18My nan, who was a matron in a hospital
06:20Told my mum the best way to get my appetite back was to give me sherry
06:24It's funny how medical standards have changed over you
06:27So my love of sherry started then
06:29It then continued when we got our first dog, a spaniel
06:32Oh no, hang on
06:35You weren't eight when you got the dog, were you?
06:38We're not going year by year
06:40We used to take our dog for a walk down Park Mill
06:45Which was this lovely place in the woods
06:47But there was a pub and then a big car park
06:50And then you'd walk out the back and there'd be the woods
06:52My dad would get the dog out and then they'd go into the pub
06:55Get me a glass of sherry
06:56And I'd have my glass of sherry
06:58And then we'd go for our walk
07:00And so that is why I think everything in life is better
07:03With a glass of sherry
07:05So if I'm going for a walk
07:06I would have a hip flask full of sherry
07:10Funny, isn't it?
07:11Not only have I had time to write down Joanna one point
07:13I've drawn two flowers either side
07:19Armando
07:20Right, fun
07:21I thought a person who
07:24You'd be surprised to me
07:26But then when you saw you think
07:27Oh, yeah, that is fun
07:28Which is Lorraine Kelly
07:29And I thought I could drag her on an improvised trolley
07:33Okay
07:34Which is what I've done
07:35Yes?
07:35No!
07:38No!
07:38No!
07:44So the winner of the episode gets this cardboard cutout
07:48Of Lorraine Kelly on a trolley
07:49I don't know who that is
07:51How dare you?
07:53That's like me asking you who Thomas Jefferson is
07:56Lorraine Kelly drew up our constitution 200
08:04And every morning defends it on air
08:08I really liked all of those and it feels very mean to give Joanna one point
08:12But there we are
08:15One point to Joanna
08:16If you hadn't stuck the pun on it, it'd have been right up there
08:18Two points to Joel, okay
08:20Honestly, I think you'd be at the top of the pile if it wasn't for the long breast
08:23Oh!
08:24Just three points
08:25Okay, well done
08:26You, a man after my own heart
08:27Four points
08:29But how can I beat...
08:30How can anyone beat Lorraine Kelly being dragged on a trolley?
08:34Of course, five points
08:34Thank you
08:36Thank you
08:36Thank you
08:39What's up first, please, Alex?
08:41Well, we have an instruction heavy task that will give everyone a brand new earworm
08:47Hmm?
08:56You must now sing these words with me
09:00Hello!
09:00Hello!
09:01Are you okay?
09:02Have a seat
09:04Okay
09:07How are you?
09:08I'm good, are you comfortable?
09:09Yeah, you're loud
09:13Oh, hello
09:18Okay, before you open that
09:19Yeah
09:26Oh, this is hot
09:27Oh, gee, shit
09:32Oh!
09:33Oh!
09:39It'd be better if the wind was going in a different direction
09:43They're biodegradable, Joel
09:45I'm glad you clarified that
09:46Oh, my God
09:47I wish I'd put those on first
09:50I bet it's going to say
09:51Time started when the competitive animal goes off
09:54I've seen this show
09:57Nice to see you
09:58Nice to see you
09:58It's a lovely day for tasking
10:01Put on the headphones, obey the instructions and build the tower
10:05When you think you have built the correct tower, you must clap three times
10:10Fastest correct tower wins
10:12Your time started when you first blinked
10:16Yeah, you did blink when the confetti went off
10:17Oh, well, because you...
10:19Yeah
10:19But, uh, yeah
10:21I've seen it, I've seen this show
10:23APPLAUSE
10:25By grown adults who react to a confetti cannon going off in the way that normal people would react to
10:31being attacked by a tiger
10:33Have to build a tower
10:35Yes, they do
10:36Shall we then?
10:36We shall
10:37And first up, it's the Edinburgh Comedy Award winning stand-up, Amy Gledhill
10:41And also, Joel Dominick
10:43LAUGHTER
10:47At the bottom of the tower, there is a red brick
10:51At the top of the tower, there is a blue brick
10:54On top of the bottom red brick, there is a yellow brick
10:57You must hold up two green bricks within the next two seconds
11:01Otherwise, Alex will dismantle your tower
11:03Lovely
11:05You must now sing
11:06Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
11:08Your turn
11:09Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
11:12Oh!
11:12Now, wink at the camera
11:15Above the lowest yellow brick, there is a yellow brick
11:18Above that yellow brick, there are two more bricks
11:21Then a yellow brick
11:22You must hold up a blue brick in your left hand
11:25And a red in your right hand in the next two seconds
11:28Otherwise, Alex will dismantle your tower
11:30Very nice
11:31You've got some confetti in your hair
11:32OK
11:33You must now sing these words
11:35Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
11:37Blue, red, yellow, red, red
11:40Oh!
11:41It could be better than that
11:41Close
11:42From the bottom, it goes red, something, something, red
11:45Something, something, green, something, something, blue
11:48The bottom brick should be red
11:51Yes!
11:51Now, wink at the camera
11:54Wink at the camera
11:56Now, wink at the camera
11:58Now, wink at the camera
11:59Now, wink at the camera
11:59Ah!
12:01Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
12:03That bit's right
12:04That bit's right
12:04The bottom brick is red
12:06Yes, I know that
12:06Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
12:09Is that a clue?
12:10Now, wave to the camera
12:11Holding a red brick in your right hand
12:13And a blue brick in your left hand
12:15Otherwise, Alex will dismantle your tower
12:17Oh, what was that?
12:18Oh, fuck!
12:19I forgot which way around it was
12:21No, please don't do it!
12:24You didn't wave to the camera, Charles
12:25You didn't wave to the camera
12:27Let's start again
12:28Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
12:31Yellow, yellow
12:33Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
12:34Yes
12:36Now, wave to the camera
12:37Holding a red brick
12:38And a blue brick
12:39Within the next two seconds
12:40Otherwise, Alex will dismantle your tower
12:43I didn't hear it! I didn't hear what he was saying!
12:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
12:46I have to dismantle your tower
12:49Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
12:52Yellow, red, yellow, yellow, blue
13:00You
13:00You may remove your headphones is it right looks right to me fuck you're annoying
13:15Amy I've got a question for you. Have you ever winked before?
13:24I can't do it without opening my mouth and sort of doing this horrible thing right now
13:29Can we have a look at Amy's wink? Oh, no. Okay, here's her wink
13:36Were you annoyed at any point?
13:39Um, yeah, I was very sad when you when you grab them like a child
13:44I've never hugged a brick before you've never you said you've never held a brick before
13:48That was the first time that I felt like I'd done manual labor
13:55The times are not that bad Joel 11 minutes 44 and Amy 9 minutes 53 in the lead at the
14:00moment. Well done
14:01Very good
14:01Not bad
14:04Shut up!
14:05It's the end of part one. You think of what you're talking? Shut up!
14:08LAUGHTER
14:16APPLAUSE
14:20LAUGHTER
14:20Welcome back to Taskmaster where Alex is tormenting our cast with his horrible whiny voice
14:25LAUGHTER
14:26Red, green, yellow, green, yellow
14:29Yes, they just have to follow my simple instructions to stack the coloured bricks in the correct order
14:34When happy with their order, they need to clap three times to end the task
14:38I can't stress enough how important that bit is
14:41And so comes the turn of two guys with very manly names
14:44It's Armando and Kumail Hunky
14:51At the bottom of the tower, there is a red brick
14:54At the top of the tower, there is a blue brick
14:58Blue is the top
14:59You must now sing these words with me
15:02Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
15:04Blue, green, yellow, yellow, green, yellow
15:05Your turn!
15:05Blue, green, yellow, yellow, green, yellow
15:08BEEP
15:09The bottom brick is red, remember?
15:12Yes
15:12And the top one is blue
15:13OK
15:14Now wink at the camera
15:15Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
15:18This is like Guantanamo Bay
15:21LAUGHTER
15:21From the bottom, it goes red, something, something, red, something, something, green, something,
15:28something, something, blue
15:29Oh my God!
15:32Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
15:42Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
15:44Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
15:46Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
15:46When you think you have built the correct tower, you must clap three times
15:53Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
15:56The even bricks are yellow, red, yellow, yellow, blue
16:00Yellow, red, yellow, yellow, blue
16:05When you think you have built the correct tower, you must clap three times
16:10Blue, red, yellow, yellow, fucking red
16:13Blue, red, yellow, green, yellow
16:15Have you nearly finished?
16:18Pardon?
16:19Have you nearly finished?
16:20I don't know
16:23Thanks, Camille, how's it going?
16:25I mean, I'm miserable
16:26You must clap three times
16:30Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
16:32Your turn
16:33Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow
16:37Now, wink at the camera
16:38Oh, stop the clock
16:39Oh my God!
16:40I forgot you could clap!
16:45Now, stop the clock, Amanda
16:47I forgot I could stop it at any time
16:49I thought I had to listen to all of this
16:51Yeah, I enjoyed that
16:52I'm glad you enjoyed it
16:55You finished it half your time ago
16:57So I did this for twice, twice as long as I needed to?
17:01Exactly that, yeah
17:07I mean, absolutely textbook apart from forgetting the three claps
17:12Your wink was incredible
17:13Oh my God!
17:15Wowie!
17:16Nice!
17:16One of the loveliest winks I've ever seen
17:17Yeah
17:18Well, when I was very young
17:19My dad told me
17:20You should be able to wink
17:21So that only the person you're winking at knows you're winking
17:24Wow!
17:25Which is why
17:26What a creepy bit of advice
17:31No!
17:33Yes!
17:34Do you have a good time doing that?
17:35One part of my brain I was enjoying myself
17:38And another part I was thinking
17:40Why?
17:41Yeah
17:42Oh, I mean, just reordering coloured bricks
17:44She started weirdly coughing
17:46Really?
17:46Yeah
17:47I don't know why I was coughing
17:48I thought
17:48Maybe it's because I saw that thing about how it helped someone
17:51And who wants to be a millionaire
17:52You know?
17:55I just went
17:56Argh!
17:57It was sort of
18:00I don't take this the wrong way
18:01It sort of felt like we were watching someone
18:03Playing a game in an old people's home
18:05Yeah
18:06Yeah
18:07I have taken it the wrong way
18:13Only sometimes
18:14Yeah, well, I mean
18:15Obviously, Kamal would have been the fastest so far by quite a long way
18:18Really?
18:19Had he clapped when he was told to clap
18:20Aww
18:21But 12 minutes 06
18:23Literally couldn't be closer to Armando's
18:25Because he was 12 minutes 30
18:26Oh!
18:27Couldn't be closer
18:27Who's next?
18:29Finally, it's time to see Joanna Page stacking it
18:33I'm on
18:36Okay, that's for the top
18:39Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red
18:42What the hell is that?
18:44It's green
18:46Then a yellow brick
18:48Then another brick
18:49The top is blue
18:50So that must be green
18:52This is
18:53It's not right
18:53It's not right
18:54Is there anything else that's gonna show me?
19:00There!
19:01That's where it is
19:02Right
19:04Right
19:06Okay, right
19:08I've stopped the clock
19:10I mean, I genuinely probably would have kept going all day
19:13Yeah, I think so
19:14You were nowhere near getting it right
19:25Well done
19:26Well done
19:27Well, I didn't trust you
19:28I knew something was up
19:29And also, I just couldn't follow the song
19:31She was getting nowhere near
19:32It was just like, yeah
19:32It took her 8 minutes 50
19:34Oh!
19:36Oh!
19:36If we went by who did the tower first, I would have had the shortest time
19:40Hugh Giff, you did it the best and the second one
19:42It's life though, innit?
19:43If I hadn't consistently eaten pies my whole life, I'd be able to run
19:51Well, unfortunately, Amanda, you were last with one point
19:54Kamel, you get two points because you were so slow in the end
19:57Don't
19:59Joel was third, three points, four points to Amy
20:01But Joanna Page gets the full five points
20:02Yay!
20:06It feels like it's scoreboard time, is it?
20:08It is, and it's so close at this stage
20:11Armando, Joanna and Kamel in joint second on six points
20:14Amy's in the lead with seven points
20:16Yay!
20:21Give me more task
20:22Yes, and just like our relationship, this task involves an equal amount of hugging and grunting
20:27Mmm!
20:40Oh, look, right, here's the donkey
20:41He's, oh my god, he's got plasters on his bum
20:44Hello, Joel
20:46Hello, Amy
20:46Hey
20:47Hello, Camel, please don't touch that or look underneath it
20:49Sorry?
20:50Shall we, er...
20:51Yes, let's have a look
20:53Paint the best painting of the painting
20:57While hugging
20:58Right, excellent
20:58Oh, that must be the painting
20:59One person must always look at the original painting
21:03And hug the other two people with both arms
21:07The other two people must always look at the new painting
21:12The hugger may only grunt
21:15Did you write this?
21:17The painter may ask questions for one minute
21:20Then for the rest of the task they may only say colours, shapes or directions
21:26Colours
21:26Colours
21:27Shapes or directions
21:28Ten minutes
21:29Your time starts on the whistle
21:32I can't draw for toffee
21:33I don't mind
21:35Do you want to have a go?
21:36Okay, I'll paint, yeah
21:37Okay
21:37I kind of want to paint
21:38You want to paint?
21:39You want to paint?
21:39Alright
21:40I might actually put my hands under there
21:43Yeah
21:43I'm going to get a paint brush in its hand
21:46Okay
21:47Okay
21:47Are you looking at the painting?
21:49Oh!
21:54I had no idea, on top of all your many talents, that you could do impressions
22:00Who's that?
22:02Oh, well, you don't know your own impression, let's see it again
22:05Huh?
22:07Painting I am
22:08Ha!
22:11Let's see them do some painting
22:13Yes, here they all are, painting and grunting and holding each other tightly
22:19Is it a human?
22:21Uh-huh
22:21It's a human, is it the Prime Minister?
22:24Uh-uh
22:24Is it an animal?
22:26Huh?
22:27Huh?
22:27Yes, it's an animal
22:28Is it a horse?
22:30Is it a donkey?
22:31Huh?
22:31Is it a donkey?
22:32Uh-huh
22:33No, a horse
22:34Is it a man?
22:35Uh-huh
22:36Is it just his head or is it all in his body?
22:38Uh-uh
22:40It's a...
22:41He's on a horse
22:42He's on a horse
22:43Was that grunting?
22:44Yeah, yeah
22:45He's on a horse
22:46Uh-huh
22:47Is it a horse with a jockey?
22:48Huh?
22:49Is it Putin?
22:50Uh-uh
22:50Okay
22:55Is the horse brown?
22:56Huh?
22:57I'm gonna start on a brown horse
22:58Is there anything?
23:00Oh
23:01Colors, shapes and directions, please
23:03Is it blue?
23:04Is it red?
23:05Is it red?
23:05Is it yellow?
23:06Is it yellow?
23:07Orange?
23:08Uh-uh
23:08Skin colour, white
23:10Oh
23:11Skin colour
23:12Is that a shape?
23:15Colors, shapes and directions, Joanna
23:17Colors, shapes
23:17Running!
23:19No
23:21Any squares
23:22Uh-uh
23:23Square
23:25Any circles
23:26Circles
23:27Any triangles
23:27Triangle
23:28Diamonds
23:30Uh-uh
23:30Uh-uh
23:34What other shapes are there?
23:36Rhombas
23:36Uh-uh
23:37Boo
23:38Skin down
23:38In the sky
23:40Green
23:41Uh-uh
23:42I've done quite a lot of green
23:43Get round down
23:45Oh
23:46Round
23:47Get round down
23:48Uh-uh
23:51Uh-uh
23:52Uh-uh
23:52Uh-uh
23:53Uh-uh
23:53Uh-uh
23:54Uh-uh
23:54Uh-uh
23:54Uh-uh
23:58They stop painting
23:59Do not look back
24:02Kamau, you can look at what they did
24:06Honestly, it's not bad
24:18Honestly, I...
24:20It's not bad
24:21Yeah
24:24There was a bit of flexibility on the rules
24:25They also said leg as a shape
24:27And I guess a leg is a shape
24:29Well, no, it isn't
24:30Is it not?
24:30No, it isn't a shape
24:33Is it not?
24:33No
24:34If someone told you to draw a leg shape
24:37You'd know exactly what to draw
24:38That's true
24:39Very clever
24:41LAUGHTER
24:43We'll see their paintings after you have watched some adverts
24:46And Alex has flossed me
24:48Bring forth the Gooch floss
25:08Yes
25:21LAUGHTER
25:21APPLAUSE
25:21Welcome back to Taskmaster
25:21Andy's picture, first of all
25:22This is what Joel, Amy and Kamel came up with
25:26Oh
25:26CHEERING
25:28I haven't seen that
25:29Wow
25:31APPLAUSE
25:31You used to say that Freddie Mercury didn't ride horses
25:34LAUGHTER
25:36We don't know
25:37R.I.P.
25:38Look at all those beautiful leg shapes
25:40Yeah
25:41And look at the direction of the horse as we compare the two
25:44Yeah
25:45Oh
25:46The only thing that's let it down
25:47It's pretty good
25:48Yeah
25:48It's not bad
25:49It's quite a coquettish back leg from their horse
25:53LAUGHTER
25:54LAUGHTER
25:55May I?
25:57LAUGHTER
25:58You might not think it's quite as good when you see what the team of two managed to come up
26:01with
26:01Ready? They did this
26:04LAUGHTER
26:10APPLAUSE
26:12APPLAUSE
26:13LAUGHTER
26:15That was with Armando saying full word
26:18Yeah
26:19LAUGHTER
26:19I think I made the mistake by facing the man forward
26:23Because that's what Putin does in the photo I've seen of him
26:26So the man's forward but the horse is sideways
26:31What is the horse?
26:32It's got a...
26:33Hang on, where's the horse?
26:34It's years are down this way, Oleg
26:36The only way you have the horse is if it was painted seconds after it was hit by a bazooka
26:40LAUGHTER
26:43LAUGHTER
26:43I haven't said this in 20 series but I sort of think you should be removed from the show
26:48LAUGHTER
26:48LAUGHTER
26:51Let's have a look at all three
26:52OK, all three and then some points please, Greg
26:54It says something when that painting of Freddie Mercury sitting on the back of an anteater is by far the
27:04best picture!
27:05So is that five points for the team of three?
27:07Of course!
27:08Right.
27:08Of course!
27:09And now it's...
27:10How low do we go, I suppose?
27:13LAUGHTER
27:14So I was going to give you two points but you do need to be penalised for Armando's flagrant cheating
27:19So you'll have one point and you'll thank me for it
27:21LAUGHTER
27:22It's one for the team of two, it's five for the team of three
27:25APPLAUSE
27:28Let's get on with the next task please
27:30OK, and Taskmaster gets all classy now as this task involves ascension via a gilded royal staircase upon which there
27:39are boobs
27:40knowing our boobs
27:53LAUGHTER
27:57ANDRIX
27:58Ah...
28:00Ooooooo...
28:02CHEERS
28:02HE SAID
28:04ANDRIX
28:05ANDRIX
28:06COME OUT
28:06ANDRIX
28:07ANDRIX
28:09ANDRIX
28:09ANDRIX
28:09AMERIC
28:10How are you?
28:12Good
28:15There's so many boobs
28:17Greg did the high ones
28:22It's the alphabet
28:24Nothing gets by me get to the top of the staircase
28:28You must take one step at a time
28:32On each step you must discard a letter and say at least one word
28:39You must not use a word could I love to start it again because I'm not listening to what I'm
28:43saying
28:47Get to the top of the staircase
28:51Feels like a bit of me this you must take one step at a time on each step
28:55You must discard a letter and say at least one word
29:00You must not use a word containing a letter you have discarded
29:05And you must not repeat any words at any points nice off any this
29:11Must not repeat any words at any point otherwise you must start again
29:16Highest step reached wins you have ten minutes your time starts on the whistle. Do you understand?
29:24It's very condescending
29:27Yes, I understand
29:29It's pretty simple all the information's on the task if you want to put on the alphabet gauntlet
29:38Like a this
29:40This is gonna go badly there are 25 steps
29:45Are there 25 letters in the alphabet?
29:50Roughly
29:56So early on you said no, this is a bit of me. This is
30:00And then later you went I actually this is not a bit of me
30:03What happened to change your mind that this was a bit of you? I realized that when I said I
30:07was a bit of me. Yeah
30:10It was just steps
30:11Right
30:13That's what I'm intrigued
30:14So
30:17So the thing that's a bit of you is walking up steps
30:20Yeah
30:21And I'm always interested in digging into an actor's method
30:25Your method is to say the words but not think about them
30:34Yes
30:34Yes
30:35Yes
30:36Yes
30:38Yes
30:38Right, who are we gonna see first?
30:40First up it's Ian, Dom and Paige. That's Iannucci, Domit and Joanna Page
30:53Hi
30:54Just say the letter and then the word that'll be crazy
30:56Z
30:57Hi
30:57H I?
30:59Yep, H I
30:59Okay, you've now said yeah as well so just let's not say yes again, please
31:05I'm discarding the letter X
31:09Fruit
31:10I'm discarding the letter Z
31:14Dramatary
31:15Dramatary
31:16Oh
31:17G
31:18Hamster
31:19N
31:20Mouse
31:21T
31:22Buzzard
31:23Back
31:24What's the letter?
31:26T
31:26T, back, okay
31:27What's the letter?
31:29S
31:29Mm-hmm
31:33R
31:33What's the letter?
31:34R?
31:34Yep
31:36K
31:37Pool
31:37Y
31:372
31:38J
31:39Pool
31:39P-O-O-L
31:41S
31:42Helicopter
31:42Yeah, you've got a T in helicopter unfortunately
31:45Yes, but you can't use words using any of these letters
31:49Yeah, it's harder than you thought it was
31:52Same
31:54Pardon?
31:54Same
31:55Well, I don't think you can say that really because what was the one you just put down?
31:58Mmm
31:58So now you have to put them all off and start again
32:00I understand it now
32:01Yeah, don't say anything else
32:02I get it
32:02Okay
32:03We're in
32:04Yep
32:04Let's go
32:05Okay
32:05I'm discarding the letter
32:09W
32:09B
32:10U
32:11O
32:13Lovely
32:14We're halfway through the alphabet
32:16Yes
32:16Well, you can't really say yes
32:18No
32:18Because you've got rid of Y
32:21Sorry about that
32:22Can I ask a question?
32:23Do I have to say I'm discarding the letter?
32:25I don't know why you're doing that
32:26I thought you said
32:27Well
32:28It just changes everything
32:30G
32:31House
32:32B
32:33New
32:34S
32:36Bus
32:37No, let's start again
32:39Y
32:40Low
32:42X
32:43Soppy
32:45Soppy
32:45You've had Y though, so start again
32:47Oh
32:47Concrete
32:48Door
32:49Light
32:50R
32:53This is where we got to last time
32:54This is where we got to last time
32:59Pardon
33:00Wank
33:01You're saying wank
33:02Start again
33:03W
33:04W
33:05W
33:06W
33:06W
33:06W
33:06Wank
33:06Wank
33:07Wank
33:07Wank
33:07Wank
33:09Wank
33:19Wank
33:2024 seconds
33:24Nail
33:25How we spelling nail?
33:29Is it with an I?
33:30No
33:33Are we spelling it wrong?
33:35Yeah
33:41You can just like look at this
33:43Yeah, we've only got 15 seconds now
33:45Just look at this and like spell stuff off that
33:47Well, you've said that twice
33:48So start again
33:49You've got 10 seconds
33:51Shall I just take the 10 seconds just to think for like a moment
33:54Just enjoy the fact that we're in a beautiful place
33:56Yeah
33:56Yeah, let's have a look around
34:03B
34:06Finn
34:08And that is your time up
34:10Your language in the last one wasn't great
34:11Yeah
34:12Lovely
34:12Imdiskar the NLF
34:14Yes
34:15Right
34:17I'm off for some ice cream
34:26I wrote down that Joel Joel and Armando are very different men aren't they?
34:31Mm
34:31And my evidence for that was that your opener was high and his was dromedary
34:39Would you all like to see a grown man say a word that he knows he shouldn't be saying?
34:44Mm-hmm
34:44Well, look at that
34:49Why?
34:58It's so cute, it's like a lady's going to be like, we've pissed, what should we do next? And you're
35:02like, why?
35:07You'd start going fucking piss as well?
35:10I shouted bomb, of which I just thought...
35:13No
35:13I know, I just...
35:14I wrote down something when you started bomb, I wrote...
35:17Armando has started to look like a politician having a breakdown in Westminster
35:23Joanna was most confident in her decisions, I thought you were
35:25Yes
35:25I had a system and it was animals and that...
35:29Every third word you said was an animal
35:30Was it?
35:31Strange pattern of vocabulary
35:32She got the highest out of these three except for Armando
35:37She got the eleventh step, Armando the twelfth, Joel very pleased with his eight
35:41I'll take that, I'll take eight
35:44Yeah, I'll definitely take that, I just enjoyed the step
35:48Right, that's it, the part three
35:50In part four, someone will wear the hip flask, a parachute, some melatonin, a video of a lady dancing in
35:56the nudge and a trolley with Lorraine Kelly in it
35:59It sounds like one hell of a night out, get me in!
36:02MUSIC
36:10Welcome back to the final part of the show on a task which feels like a sad metaphor for the
36:16ageing process
36:17Yes, I suppose you're right, they're struggling to get up the stairs then forgetting what they're doing and heading back
36:22down again
36:22And they seem to have lost the most basic of vocabulary
36:25It's a laugh though, isn't it, Greg? It's a laugh
36:27Simple rules
36:28Simple rules, lose a letter every step
36:30Don't repeat words or say words that contain the lost letters
36:33Just two people left to go, it is Amy and Kamel
36:39Box
36:41Put it on the floor
36:43Wherever you want
36:45Right, now pick it up and start again
36:49You've discarded X and then used the word box which has an X in it
36:52I wanted to do it the other way around, didn't I?
36:54Yes
36:55Z
36:57Hello
36:58Hello
36:59X
36:59X
37:00Hi
37:01Hi
37:03Box
37:03No, you said box, you can't repeat words
37:08On the step
37:09No, you've got to be on the step
37:14You can say X, that would be helpful
37:15X
37:16Great
37:17And what word are you going to say?
37:19Cheese
37:22W
37:23Ice cream
37:24J
37:25South
37:25G
37:26North
37:26L
37:26East
37:27F
37:27Bob
37:28V
37:30Loaf
37:34Chop
37:35Clum
37:36Watch
37:36Pen
37:37Sob
37:38Whale
37:38Mend
37:39Hide
37:39C
37:41C
37:41Our
37:44Our
37:45Our
37:46H
37:46Our
37:47H
37:48Our
37:49O
37:50U
37:50U
37:51Bar
37:52S. Tam. E. Amt. T. Amt.
37:57E. I.
38:07N. A.
38:22What a performance from both, really. Strong.
38:25Wasn't it? Yeah. Apart from the double box nightmare.
38:28Oh, yeah.
38:29I didn't quite get it, and then I got it.
38:31Then you got it. Then I got it.
38:32And I knew you were sure when you got to the word loaf.
38:35You said loaf so threateningly.
38:38Loaf.
38:39Very whole. Yeah.
38:41I never thought I would see a grown man discard a child's play letter
38:46and say aye and internally go,
38:49Oh, you're so cool.
38:52I feel like that was the best I ever did on any of the tasks.
38:56Well, you say that. There's a slight...
38:57Oh, no! Don't do this!
38:59Oh, yes!
39:00Yes!
39:01Can I don't? What?
39:02It's all right.
39:03Hey, hey, hey, hey.
39:05Ten seconds ago I was saying how cool you were.
39:07Yeah.
39:08Can I say something?
39:11Wiggle your boobs.
39:13Well...
39:14Oh, my God!
39:18The thing was, you ended up with two letters
39:20and Amy ended up with one letter when they got to the top.
39:2425 steps, 26 letters, but you still had two letters.
39:26Imagine if I did better.
39:30Nowhere near, John. Nowhere near.
39:33There's no way wank boys beat them.
39:37What I love about this episode, it started with someone struggling with a wink
39:41and ended up with someone struggling with a wink.
39:43Yeah!
39:44Right.
39:44Is there life?
39:45That's right.
39:49Ah, that's...
39:50That's a lovely bit of work.
39:53Once you've all gone, we'll re-record that with me, Sagan.
39:58Well, we couldn't understand what happened with all the letters,
40:01so have a look at this.
40:03H.
40:04Our.
40:05O-U-R.
40:06S.
40:07Rib.
40:08U.
40:09Was it rib or rip?
40:11Bur.
40:11R-I-B.
40:14U.
40:25Thank-you, congratulations.
40:26Thank-you.
40:27I know the alphabet.
40:31You didn't discard the U on a step until you took a second step with the U,
40:35So you you took one extra step you had already got to 20 at that point. I just want you
40:40to know
40:42That I did not cheat on purpose
40:44That was an oversight. I would never cheat. That's what Nixon said
40:52So points wise eight steps for Joel one point Joanna got to 11 two points
40:56Armando 12 three points come out you got to 20 steps you get four points for the winner
41:0025 steps all of them and five points
41:07I
41:07Put a look at the scores then shall we?
41:09Yes, I think we could have our first look at the series scoreboard an early look at that
41:13We have three men in their 30s Camel's on 37 Armando 36 and Joel 35
41:19Two women in their 50s
41:22Joanna's got 50 and Amy's got 53 at this point
41:29Yes, and also
41:32Oh for god's sake
41:35Take it out
41:36Take it out
41:37Take it out
41:38Take it out
41:41Take it so long today
41:44Just in time
41:48Okay everyone please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show
42:02Hello
42:03Hello you delightful cherub
42:05Hello Greg these are available at just $19.99
42:09Who will be
42:11Rating
42:12The task out
42:13Armando Inucci
42:15The Colonel
42:43Okay here we go
42:46Are you attracted from your score
42:48I'm already questioning this as I'm reading
42:50You have 100 seconds
42:52Most Greg's balls wins
42:54They had to be Greg's balls did they
42:56For this task
42:57Everyone likes them
42:58Really?
43:00You can all grasp your cues now as Armando is
43:03Okay
43:04And have one hand ready to wave so they must be waving at all times
43:07Greg if they don't wave we need to be on them
43:09Oh I'll be on them like a puma
43:11It's grabbing go
43:12Start waving
43:13And start
43:14Transferring ball
43:15They're off
43:16CHEERING
43:19Waving
43:20Waving
43:23Waving
43:24Waving
43:24Waving please Joe
43:24Waving
43:28Waving
43:30Waving
43:30Waving
43:31Oh no
43:32Waving
43:34Waving
43:35Waving
43:37Waving
43:38Waving
43:40Waving
43:55Waving
43:58Waving
44:01Waving
44:01Waving
44:02Waving
44:05Waving
44:05Waving
44:06Waving
44:06Waving
44:06Waving
44:07Waving
44:07Waving
44:08Waving
44:08Waving
44:09Waving
44:09Waving
44:09Waving
44:09Waving
44:10Waving
44:26I'm gonna have to count up how many Alex balls are are in there because yes, I'll be honest halfway
44:31through
44:31I forgot which one was supposed to be in there
44:34Oh my god. Which one were we supposed to have in? Greg. Greg's boys. Greg, Greg, Greg. Well, it was
44:41fun
44:43Listen, we'll add them up. We'll add it to your final scores. Come down and join me
44:49Well, well, well, well, exactly. I can say that. Well, well, well. A lot of balls in tubes. Were they
44:57the right balls?
44:59Well, interesting. I mean, Amy and Joel both got 11 balls in tubes
45:05Oh, Joel's like a machine, Jamie. Was like a machine, but was he like a good machine?
45:11Six of me, five of Greg's. That's a score of minus 13
45:24Armando and Joanna both put four of Greg's balls in the bucket correctly
45:29Kamel put eight balls in one was an Alex, which means you get a score of five
45:32You're in second place, but the winner five points 11 of Greg's balls. Amy Gledhill again
45:39You want to hear the final scores then? I want to hear the final scores then
45:45In joint fourth, Joanna and Joel with 12 points, but in joint first by herself, it's Amy Gledhill with 22
45:50points
45:51Yay! Amy Gledhill wins the episode. Please head up to go silly with your string, the Paul's thing
46:05So what have we learnt today? Well, we've learnt a lot about people
46:08Some actors don't think about what they're saying. They're just saying the words
46:12Some people cough in words. Some people think that skin colour is a shape
46:17It's been a funny old show
46:20Started off with someone struggling with a wink
46:24And ended with someone struggling with a wank
46:46We're off again, but here's your winner, it's Amy Gledhill!
46:56Olivia Munn hard fi and a rip-roaring start to your weekend tfi friday's unplugged and brand new five past
47:0311 tomorrow night
47:04Warmer fricked with beautiful renditions of the king of rock and roll across edinburgh and liverpool in the latest from
47:10your song streaming now
47:12Next tonight. It's been described as an instant classic. It's a double big mood
47:19Never looking back home
47:20Thank you
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