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High Hoops - Season 2 - Episode 05: The Get Cheering Defence
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00:25I
00:27Oh, I know what you're thinking.
00:28Give me a why am I rolling in a bin with some pom-poms?
00:36Go! Rewind!
00:41Mum, where are my basketball boots?
00:43Outside in a bucket of water, you've stepped in something.
00:53Think it's time for a new pair?
00:55Yeah, that's going to cost about a bazillion quid.
00:58Yes, another instalment of Delma Pay.
01:02Cha-ching! It's Delma Pay Day.
01:04Every month since we were little,
01:06our rich Auntie Fidelma sends us a hundred quid.
01:09Connor uses his for...
01:10Hello, Investment Club. How's the market doing today?
01:13And mine's supposed to be for cheerleading classes.
01:16Oh, slight detail.
01:18I never really took to cheerleading. Pretty much ever.
01:25Auntie Fidelma literally never comes to visit.
01:28Well, it's fine.
01:29Auntie Fidelma is coming to visit!
01:32Uh-oh.
01:33I need to get the place spotless!
01:36You just cleaned.
01:37You're right. This is how she gets me.
01:39This time, I'll meet her snipey-meanless with Zen-like car.
01:50Ooh!
01:51Ooh!
01:51I know. Rather than re-tiding the whole house,
01:54we could just pretend that we've been abducted by aliens.
01:57I've been telling you for years to come clean about the cheerleading.
02:01Ha-ha! You're toast.
02:04I'm not worried.
02:05She'll be too busy to come watch me cheer.
02:08Can't wait to watch Aoife cheer.
02:13I'll just explain that I'm a basketball player.
02:16She'll understand.
02:18Yeah.
02:18Although, she'll probably expect you to repay all the money.
02:22I wouldn't put it past the lovely, kind person.
02:30She's hardly kept track of exactly how much she sent.
02:34Excited to see how Aoife has used my £6,840.
02:42Oh!
02:45CHEARLEADING
02:46Cheerleading?
02:47Oh, yes. I dabbled when I was little.
02:49Oh, hello.
02:50And perfectly formed.
02:51Yes. So, can you teach me?
02:54Sorry. It was between that and majorettes.
02:56I went with majorettes.
02:57Aren't they the same thing?
02:59They're quite different disciplines, actually.
03:01Cheerleading combines dance and acrobat...
03:04Stop!
03:04I don't have time for an essay on the differences
03:06between cheering and majoretting.
03:09Is this going to be a thing?
03:10Because we have a big match coming up.
03:17It's so not going to be a thing.
03:18I just need a cheerteacher.
03:20I'm pronto!
03:22You know, I heard a rumour once that one of the teachers was a champion cheerleader.
03:25Who?
03:26Is it the librarian, Miss Shushie?
03:30No, it can't be, Jim. Although, he does play the spoons.
03:38No.
03:38Is it Sergio, the surprisingly agile caretaker?
03:42You know, the one with all the dance draw fees?
03:44Yes.
03:46I don't know who it was. It was just a rumour.
03:49Oh!
03:49What?
03:50Yeah?
03:51There is an old cheerleading costume on display in the theatre department.
03:54To the theatre department!
03:57Oh!
04:04Oh!
04:08Oh!
04:09Oh!
04:10Oh!
04:10Oh!
04:11Oh!
04:12Can there just be a clue?
04:13Wait, is that...
04:18You were a high school cheerleading champ!
04:22That's ridiculous, who told you that?
04:24A little birdie.
04:25Well, that little bird is barking up the wrong tree, or tweeting, or just, generally being annoying.
04:33Look it's the same face though! Slightly clenched and squeezed.
04:47Somehow I knew this day would come
04:50I am that cheerleading champ
04:54Kinda weird, but also helpful
05:01And we're back to weird, again
05:04What a time that was, the peak of physical performance
05:07The respect of everyone around me
05:10Except for you, isn't that right?
05:13Mummy, even supreme excellence wasn't good enough for you
05:18Pointless, that was the word she liked to use
05:21This might take a while
05:23Countless medals and trophies, but she was never happy
05:25I remember once, back in 89, we were-
05:28Great story, but I'm kinda pressed for time
05:30And I need to learn how to cheer immediately
05:33Can you help?
05:34I just don't think I could jiggle a pom-pom again
05:39Too painful
05:42Okay, bye
05:42Hang on, is that it?
05:44Aren't you going to beg for my help?
05:46I was a national champion, you know
05:49Okay
05:52Please, please, please
05:54Well, if you're gonna be that insistent about it, then
05:58Yes, okay
05:59Yes, thank you
06:01You've currently saved my bacon
06:02Which is currently valued at £6,840
06:07But if we do this, we have to take it the whole way
06:12You must be prepared for that
06:13Right, I am
06:15When do we start?
06:17We have already begun
06:21Wanderers are playing rovers later in the semis
06:23Who's going?
06:24Not me
06:24Skin
06:26Yeah, me too
06:26But it's cool
06:27I've got a plan
06:29Oh, it's not your tunnelling under the turnstiles plan again, is it?
06:32No
06:32That was a stupid idea
06:34I'm gonna pole vault over the wall
06:36You in?
06:37Er, yeah, sure
06:39Pole vaults don't give me nightmares at all
06:41Er, Connor?
06:47Whilst I will like nothing better than to watch you both pole vault over the wall
06:51Into a crowd of baying football fans
06:54I can't
06:55My rich auntie Videlma's coming to visit
06:57Rich
06:57How rich?
06:59Loaded
07:00Minted
07:00Blinked
07:01All of the above
07:02Ooh, sounds like someone we should chill with
07:04You know, get a few pointers
07:05Agreed
07:06Make the arrangement
07:07She is a high-powered business tycoon
07:10She doesn't have time to powwow with random teenage boys
07:13Just a nephew
07:16We're going
07:16We can pole vault into his garden after the match
07:20I'll just use the front door
07:22Oh, yeah
07:31Right, have you de-boogered?
07:32Er, the caves are bat-free
07:34And my tribal drums?
07:35Er, fully dusted
07:36Isn't this all a bit extra?
07:38Wouldn't Videlma just be happy to see her family?
07:41Looking sharp, Breed
07:43Why, thank you, Bear
07:44Er, what are you two doing here?
07:46I thought you were pole vaulting
07:47Er, plan didn't work out
07:50Er, so we came to see the rich auntie instead
07:52Er, where's the limo?
07:54And does it have a jacuzzi?
07:56Cos I've bought my trunks
07:57Connor, what have you been saying?
07:59Videlma's not that rich
08:08Love and light
08:09Love and light
08:10Come on, Mum
08:11She can't be that bad
08:16Ciao, familia
08:18Business class was torture
08:20But I made it
08:23And look at you, Connor
08:27You brought a little welcome party
08:29A hanty for Videlma
08:30Yes, this is Ben and Clanger
08:33Two strapping lads
08:35My luggage is in the boot
08:37Mine the handles
08:38They're embossed
08:39Put them in by my serenity table
08:41Serenity table
08:43You're still into all that woo-woo
08:45Brilliant
08:47And the place is looking great
08:49Thanks, we like it
08:52At the end of the day
08:53You've just got to ask yourself
08:55Is it livable?
09:02Which is equally fascinating
09:04And then, of course, we move into the Princeton era
09:06Which we shall delve into in our next session
09:10Fascinating
09:11So now I move on to the action event
09:13First, I have unearthed my cherished cheer bible
09:17To help you on your journey
09:18I've also included a potentially controversial section
09:21On the use of jazz hands
09:23Something to digest
09:24This is great
09:26But when do we actually
09:28You know
09:29Cheer?
09:31I didn't stay up till 4am dusting this thing off
09:33So you can just come in here and prance around the place
09:36Silly me
09:37Why would I expect to cheer in a cheering lesson?
09:40Thus, we must crawl
09:42Then walk
09:43Then run
09:44Then jump
09:45Onto the top of a human pyramid
09:47That is the only true pathway
09:49To elite cheering
09:51Isn't there like
09:52One or two things you could show me right now?
09:55Something that might make it look like
09:56I've been cheering for seven years?
10:01The Bible!
10:05I mean, who wants to sit on a beach in Spain all day?
10:10I was bored
10:10But
10:12Thanks to my new business
10:15Dig it, doughnuts
10:17Tagline
10:18Doughnuts you dig
10:19Genius
10:20And what happens then?
10:23What happens when?
10:24After you dig them
10:25They sprout into more doughnuts or something
10:29Dig it, doughnuts
10:31Doughnuts
10:31Didn't I have the idea when we were younger?
10:34Gosh, I can't recall
10:36Did you do a business plan for it?
10:39No
10:40Yes
10:41Business is about hard work, Breed
10:44Of course
10:45You need some luck
10:46And
10:47The secret ingredient
10:49Is it
10:51Cinnamon?
10:53No
10:56It's
10:56The art
10:57Of the business bluff
10:59Never giving
11:00Anything away
11:01Yeah
11:02That's what I thought
11:04Bluffing
11:05Isn't that just being dishonest?
11:07Who cares?
11:08Teach us
11:09Yeah
11:10We want to be loaded too
11:11No, no, no
11:12But
11:12I'm sure Fadama is far too busy
11:15I see a lot of potential here
11:17I already know that Connor
11:19Is so brains a lot
11:20Ben
11:21You've got the gift of the gab
11:24And
11:26Clangor
11:27Oh
11:28You
11:31Seem
11:33Like a lovely fella too
11:36So why don't we start you all tomorrow after school?
11:39Hmm?
11:40Yes
11:40Let the cashola
11:41Roller
11:51Finally
11:52We've been waiting to shoot hoops
11:54Yeah
11:54We have a big match remember
11:56We need to win to make it back into the top three
11:58I can't
11:59I have to study this
12:00Study
12:01For what?
12:02Yeah
12:03Thought you were supposed to be cheerleading
12:05I know but Holt's giving me this big boring manual instead
12:09Seriously?
12:10How does that help?
12:11It doesn't
12:12It's totally pointless
12:14Bin it
12:15Just find a costume and walk around in it
12:18That's all your auntie really needs to see
12:20I probably have an old one you can borrow
12:22Yes
12:23Outstanding idea
12:26This will be a breeze
12:31Pointless
12:32Pointless
12:33Pointless
12:41Pointless
12:42It's Charlotte's old costume
12:45From when she was ten
12:46Aoife
12:48Love the outfit
12:52Why are you wearing a t-shirt over it?
12:54Is it a bit snug?
12:56It's the one I had when I first started
12:58I can't bear to change it
13:01Fab
13:02Now show me all your trophies
13:04How many has your team won?
13:06Er
13:07You see
13:09The truth is
13:10Tell me I have at least one trophy to show for my £6,840
13:17Or I'll be looking for it back
13:22The truth is I don't have a team
13:24What?
13:25The school don't do cheerleading
13:27So
13:29Er
13:30I practice by myself
13:32In the school gym
13:34The dedication
13:36You are my best investment
13:39Can I see?
13:42Er
13:42No, no
13:43I'm not going today
13:45Why the outfit then?
13:48I wear it all the time
13:49I love it so much
13:51Oh my heart
13:53Adorable
13:55That's
13:57Me
14:04Move away please
14:06Company car
14:08Lads
14:08If you want the perks of being rich
14:11You've got to put the graft in
14:13That's why we want to reach out and tell you about our new pineapple rental company
14:17Now make sure you stuff the pamphlet right into the letterbox
14:22This doesn't feel very corporate-y
14:26Yeah
14:26Don't we at least get suits?
14:29Listen lads
14:29This is how all the great entrepreneurs got started
14:33I still do it to keep myself grounded
14:38Do you know who I often meet when I'm out there?
14:40The postman?
14:41Lord Alan Sugar
14:43Star of The Apprentice
14:45Brings him back to his roots
14:47He loves it
14:48Now off you go
14:49And if you do see Lord Alan out there
14:52Don't mention that the show is getting tired
14:56He hates that
15:01There she is
15:03And still in the outfit
15:04It's like a second skin
15:06A very scratchy skin
15:09You know, I always thought that you'd give up after one lesson
15:12Never
15:14It was two lessons
15:15Amazing
15:16And I cannot wait to see you perform at the chair meet tomorrow
15:20Er, what? What now?
15:23I had a little chat with your headmaster while I was waiting on the lads
15:26Mr. Holt
15:27I had a word with him about promoting cheerleading
15:30I mean, no team
15:32The school is not doing enough to support you
15:36Really?
15:37What did he say?
15:38He was very apologetic
15:40He suggested that he invite some other schools to give a chair demo tomorrow
15:45And that you take part
15:46Oh, there he is now
15:48Yoo-hoo
15:53Bit constipated looking, but nice
15:56Disaster
15:59A cheer meet tomorrow
16:02Awesome
16:03Can we come?
16:05Er, no
16:05We have a match
16:06Er, sorry Aoife
16:08We're busy
16:09So is she
16:10With us
16:11Aoife, we need you there
16:12Don't worry
16:14It's okay
16:15No need at all to completely panic
16:19I'm so not in denial
16:20But they're on at the same time
16:22I can do both
16:24I have to do both
16:25Because if I don't
16:26Then I've got to somehow return 6,840 quid of Delma pay
16:31But you don't even know how to cheer
16:33What are you thinking?
16:35I literally don't even know
16:37Which means it's time for a rewind
16:41So I started off like
16:43Ooh, Aunt Jaffa Delma's coming to visit
16:45I'll just learn how to cheer
16:46Or have to pay back a lot of cash
16:496,840 pounds
16:53And then Hope was like
16:55Respect the Bible thingy
16:57And then Nyla was like
16:59Just find a costume and walk around in it
17:00And then Hope was like
17:01I'm press mummy issues
17:03And then Auntie Fidelma was like
17:05I cannot wait to see you perform at the chair meet tomorrow
17:08Yay!
17:10But now the Vipers were like
17:11We have a match at the same time
17:13What are you thinking?
17:15So I'm totally stuck
17:17Which is why I'm gonna do this
17:48Ah, Aoife
17:49What could your visit possibly be about?
17:53Grovel mode activated.
17:55Sir, I apologise for throwing this informative manual...
17:59Bible?
18:00Bible into the bin.
18:02And for disrespecting the noble arts of cheerleading.
18:06It's just, I've been in this scratchy costume for days now,
18:10and I've just waded through bin juice.
18:13So please, can you teach me to cheer?
18:20I can see that you have been entirely stripped of your dignity.
18:24Now, and only now, are you truly ready to learn.
18:29Rise.
18:32One, two, nine, ten.
18:34Yes, yes, yes, again!
18:37Yes, sort of like that, but good.
18:40Position two, position three, position nine, position four,
18:44two, nine, four, eight, two.
18:46Yes, you're getting confused.
18:48Again!
18:48Again!
18:49Yes, I like that.
18:50No!
18:51No!
18:51Good.
18:52No, don't do that.
18:54I don't like that.
18:54Yes, good, yes, but less like a woodland animal.
18:58And again.
18:59And again.
19:00Yes, yes, exactly.
19:02No, no.
19:03Again!
19:04Go, mate!
19:05Whoa!
19:07Oh!
19:08Oh, thank you very much for giving me this lever.
19:10Oh, listen, I want to talk to you about your nuts.
19:13Get like a dual life, though.
19:24Right, get up.
19:26That's it.
19:27Really?
19:28You think I'm ready?
19:30Much as I would like to be disappointed,
19:32your tuck jump rocks and your facials sell it, girl.
19:38Keep it simple, and there's a reasonable chance
19:40you won't make a fool of yourself.
19:42Huh.
19:50My serenity table!
19:52Well, you weren't using it for anything important, were you?
19:55I could murder a cappuccino, by the way.
20:01Oh, is it raining?
20:09Yeah, it's raining water.
20:11You know what it's not raining with?
20:12Money.
20:14Three days now.
20:15And who we've got is blisters.
20:17I had seven.
20:18Which I have to burst.
20:26Character building stuff?
20:28Oh, great.
20:29Well, when's the bank balance building stuff?
20:31Oh, I have to take this.
20:40Cappuccino.
20:42Oh, you're soaked?
20:44Yeah, nothing to show for it.
20:46We've been scammed.
20:47We need to circle back and unionise.
20:49You mean she hasn't paid you yet?
20:51I mean, at least we're getting free doughnuts.
20:53Oh, lads, I forgot to mention
20:55that you owe me for three boxes of doughnuts.
20:58But don't worry, I'll take it out of your pay
21:00when you hit your target.
21:02Oh, that's a cappuccino.
21:05I asked for a latte.
21:07I'll be through there.
21:10Right, that's it.
21:11I've officially lost it.
21:13Wait, I'm sure there's a way that you can stay there
21:15and we can get paid.
21:16How?
21:17I find plain old blackmail always tends to do the job.
21:21Quick, let's get him sitting down.
21:23This is bad.
21:24I think he's going under.
21:26Why is it so dark?
21:29Mummy!
21:30What's going on?
21:31His blisters have gone septic.
21:35He's burning up.
21:37Is the ambulance on its way?
21:38Just calling them now.
21:39Yes, ambulance, please.
21:41This could be lethal.
21:43Thank goodness you have insurance.
21:45You do have insurance for hiring minors.
21:48Of course she does, Mum.
21:49She wouldn't support child labour.
21:52Yeah, that would ruin her business.
21:54Well, only if we told everyone about it.
22:12He seems to be feeling better now.
22:15I always feel better after I get paid.
22:19At least my niece is trustworthy.
22:24The game starts soon.
22:26Yeah, and we need this win, so your plan better work.
22:29Don't worry.
22:30I've got everything figured out.
22:32Kinda.
22:34The game starts in two minutes.
22:36There you are.
22:37You better hurry up.
22:38You're on in ten minutes.
22:40Okay, um, I'm just gonna go warm up.
22:57Zara, some more.
22:59Here, Leo.
23:01Here's Yvka.
23:02Yay!
23:04Zara.
23:17Where were you?
23:19Just warming up.
23:21I'm ready now.
23:22Relax.
23:23They're behind.
23:24Some girl just dislocated her shoulder doing a backflip.
23:27Take five.
23:28Okay.
23:30Okay.
23:40Zara, sub off.
23:44Zara, what are you, guys?
23:48Yes, Yvka.
23:49Zara.
23:50You can't go now.
23:51The game's too close.
23:52I'll be back.
23:53I promise.
24:00What's with the headband?
24:03Oh, nothing.
24:04Can I cheer now?
24:05Not yet.
24:06They're just popping the shoulder back in.
24:09Yeah!
24:11Ew.
24:12Oh.
24:18Oh.
24:20Oh.
24:30Zara, sub off.
24:40You've missed your slot.
24:43Okay, so this is awkward.
24:46You know how much I love cheering?
24:49Yes.
24:50Well, I also love basketball, too.
24:54Grand.
24:55I see what's happening here.
24:57You do?
24:58Yes.
24:58You don't want to let your team down.
25:01I admire that.
25:03Yeah.
25:04That's right.
25:06Phew.
25:07I'd still love to see you cheer, though.
25:10Do the routine now.
25:12Heh.
25:13Right now.
25:15Here.
25:16Yeah?
25:17Come on.
25:18For me?
25:19Time for you to seize your moment.
25:22Wait.
25:23Hull actually believes in me.
25:25Maybe I can do this.
25:26I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:28Let's go.
25:42I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:42I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:43I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:45I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:46I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:47I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:48I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:49I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:49I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:49I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:50I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:50I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:50I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:51I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:51I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:51I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:52I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:53I can be the best cheerer ever.
25:56I can be the best cheerer ever.
26:10Oh, my God.
26:31Just flew too close to the sun.
26:34I killed it, right?
26:40Yeah, so I've never actually ever cheered in my life.
26:45At all. Ever.
26:48Wow. Really?
26:50So now that Aoife has told the truth, Connor...
26:57We're sorry for slightly blackmailing you.
27:00On the upside, I think I've mastered the art of the business bluff.
27:06Well, this has been a fun visit, but I need to get going.
27:11I have to return the car to the rental company.
27:15I really am sorry, you know.
27:18Apology accepted.
27:19By any chance, is my sorriness worth £6,840?
27:23Not a chance.
27:24But I will accept instalments of five quid a week.
27:29But I'll probably be paying that till I'm, like, 40.
27:3243.
27:3343.
27:35Oh!
27:36Oh, my God.
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