- 14 hours ago
Adult Best Friends [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:18To be continued...
00:00:46What are you doing?
00:00:48Nothing.
00:00:50Why are you in here?
00:00:52Maddie said the seventh grade boys are sneaking over for a kissing party.
00:00:55I know. I'm so nervous.
00:00:58Then don't do it.
00:00:58I'm calling my mom to pick me up.
00:01:00You can't. Maddie said we all have to kiss them.
00:01:02I don't want to kiss.
00:01:03Wear thong underpants. I hate thong underpants.
00:01:06But I'm worried if I wear normal underpants and no kissing stuff,
00:01:09then Maddie won't invite me to sleep over as anymore.
00:01:14Well, you could sleep over at mine.
00:01:17Tonight?
00:01:19Yeah. I mean, we're not allowed to watch TV, which sucks.
00:01:21But we could do braids.
00:01:23And I have a trundle bed.
00:01:24I love trundle beds.
00:01:26Do you have a best friend?
00:01:29No.
00:01:31You?
00:01:33No.
00:01:35Take me down, down, I don't know where to go.
00:01:38I can't come out today.
00:01:40And Katie's famous.
00:01:42But I don't give a shit.
00:01:43I've tried my best to live within two weeks.
00:01:47That's the best in me.
00:01:49What's wrong with my life?
00:01:51Yeah.
00:01:51So that's the next feature.
00:01:54You are going to be a doctor.
00:01:56I don't want to be a doctor.
00:02:04This is Katie's future.
00:02:07You can marry me to Daniel.
00:02:11Daniel is my boyfriend.
00:02:21Startlist.
00:02:22And then I'm doing my best here.
00:02:35I'll try all the next year.
00:02:40Don't call me, don't call me
00:02:45Okay, read another post, give me a hard one
00:02:47Uh, okay
00:02:48From Seattle to Savannah
00:02:49What a long, strange trip it's been
00:02:53Hashtag van life
00:02:55Tom Breyer?
00:02:55How did you know that?
00:02:57Because Tom Breyer needs to get a job
00:02:58Another one
00:02:59Get a good one
00:03:00Okay
00:03:03Okay, this one's hard
00:03:05Okay
00:03:05Here's to adulting forever with this one
00:03:08He put a ring on it
00:03:09Singular exclamation
00:03:10Sarah Casper
00:03:11You're cheating
00:03:12I'm not cheating, I'm that good
00:03:13She's engaged?
00:03:15She's a child
00:03:17She's 32 years old
00:03:20Sarah Casper would throw it all away for like some random guy
00:03:23That is random, they've been dating since college
00:03:25Do you have any snacks?
00:03:27Do you have any dinner?
00:03:29I have peanut butter
00:03:29And what?
00:03:31A spoon?
00:03:32Oh my god, let me make you something
00:03:33I'll just have saltines made at home
00:03:34Oh my god, no
00:03:35I'll make you a turkey burger
00:03:38I can put poblanos on top
00:03:39What's poblanos?
00:03:41Oh, it's a giant Mexican pepper
00:03:43It's actually our favorite pepper
00:03:47Second only to the jalapeno
00:03:48You'll love it, I promise
00:03:50It's really good
00:03:52I'm fine, thank you
00:03:53Well, if you're not hungry
00:03:55Maybe you want a joke that I heard today
00:03:58It made me think of you instantly
00:03:59Okay, this is very good
00:04:01Okay, so there are two pigs in a pit of mud
00:04:03And the wife pig turns to the husband and says
00:04:08No, no, the husband says to the wife
00:04:10You're right, you're right
00:04:11The husband pig says to the wife
00:04:14Hey, did you see Farmer Jane?
00:04:16Should we get going?
00:04:17Pretty sure it's nine o'clock, so
00:04:18Oh, you want to go to that?
00:04:21Yeah
00:04:22Really?
00:04:22My throat feels kind of weird
00:04:23I feel like
00:04:25I don't know, if I got everyone sick
00:04:26You don't feel warm
00:04:28No?
00:04:28You feel good
00:04:29No, you feel cold
00:04:29Do you not want to go?
00:04:32It's a crazy to stay here
00:04:33I mean, we have food here
00:04:35Blankets here
00:04:36I'm comfortable
00:04:36You're comfortable
00:04:37We could watch a movie
00:04:38Yeah, but hey
00:04:38If Katie doesn't want to go out
00:04:40Delaney
00:04:40I'd love to go out with you
00:04:43Please don't make me go alone
00:04:44I'm nervous and I'll get too fucked up
00:04:46No, you will not
00:04:50Like, she doesn't even come out anymore
00:04:52Because she's always with her boyfriend, John
00:04:55I don't know why I did that
00:04:56His name is John
00:04:57John
00:05:00John, do you think she's okay then?
00:05:02Mm-hmm
00:05:08I'm gonna go
00:05:09I'm gonna go meet her
00:05:10I don't like him
00:05:11Is that wrong to say?
00:05:13You know, like
00:05:13If you don't like your best friend's boyfriend
00:05:15It's the way he makes her
00:05:16If that makes sense
00:05:18I'll be pied
00:05:21Oh, you know what though?
00:05:22My contacts are already out
00:05:27That's like a whole thing
00:05:29Only here
00:05:30She moves in with him
00:05:31Kind of fast, if you ask me
00:05:33But nobody asks me
00:05:36I'm gonna go meet her for a little
00:05:39Okay
00:05:42John
00:05:44Yes, he's hot
00:05:45I get it
00:05:45I see it
00:05:46But he's boring
00:05:49Occupied
00:05:50I think she's fine
00:05:52Yeah
00:05:54I'll come have sex
00:05:59How do you have the patience?
00:06:01Well, we actually had an agreement
00:06:02That if I set up his Wi-Fi
00:06:04He promised to wear boxers
00:06:06Under his shorts
00:06:06During our PT sessions
00:06:08Oh, well
00:06:08That could be worth it
00:06:09It's a give and a take
00:06:10Yeah
00:06:10But, uh
00:06:11This looks nice, right?
00:06:13Yeah, I like it
00:06:13In the shade
00:06:14It's good
00:06:15Uh, oh
00:06:17I suppose I could get you
00:06:18To call her back, maybe?
00:06:20She gets so anxious
00:06:21When she's hungover
00:06:22Yeah, no, she does
00:06:23I just, um
00:06:25I just wanted to ask
00:06:26How was it?
00:06:26No, my Uber's now 27 minutes away
00:06:29Where are you?
00:06:31I answered a 2 a.m. text from this guy
00:06:33The drugger he got
00:06:35The more he talked about Julia
00:06:37Yeah, not next
00:06:38Just a female friend
00:06:39He's clearly in love with
00:06:41Did she hook up?
00:06:43Yes
00:06:43He asked me to roleplay
00:06:45Uh, wow
00:06:46Like, be a cheerleader or something?
00:06:48That's
00:06:48Oh, I wish
00:06:49More like
00:06:50We're best friends
00:06:52And I suddenly see him
00:06:53In a new light
00:06:53Oh, my God
00:06:54Can I order a pizza
00:06:55To my apartment?
00:06:56What do you want?
00:06:57Ah, that sounds good
00:06:57No, John and I are doing a picnic
00:06:59Do you want to come?
00:07:01You know what?
00:07:02No
00:07:02I'll just try you later
00:07:03Okay, bye
00:07:05Alright, bye
00:07:07Well, she's fine
00:07:08But she met a new guy
00:07:10And
00:07:13Oh, my God
00:07:14It's okay
00:07:14No, no, no
00:07:15It's okay
00:07:16It's okay
00:07:16As long as I have your undivided attention now
00:07:20Yeah
00:07:20Yeah
00:07:22When I first moved here
00:07:23It took me a while to get adjusted
00:07:25Yeah, you were mugged like three times that first week
00:07:28Right, well, I thought everyone needed directions
00:07:30But then
00:07:32Then I met you
00:07:33And you actually needed directions
00:07:35And I'm so, so glad
00:07:39That I walked you into that coffee shop
00:07:41Because you have made my life so much better
00:07:44Than I ever thought that I deserved
00:07:48Will you marry me?
00:07:51Yeah
00:07:52Yeah
00:07:52Yeah
00:07:53Yeah
00:07:56I hate the art Katie left here
00:07:57It's so gross
00:07:58It's sentimental
00:07:59Okay, well, I live here now
00:08:01And I like actual art
00:08:02Let me just ask Katie if she wants it
00:08:04Before we throw it away
00:08:05Where is Katie?
00:08:06I feel like she's usually here by now
00:08:08Like complaining about some ugly house
00:08:10She can't sell
00:08:11She's doing a picnic with John
00:08:13Like eating on the ground?
00:08:16Yeah
00:08:16I feel so bad for her
00:08:18You know, it's like she misses the party last night
00:08:20And now she has to waste her entire Sunday
00:08:22Doing a picnic with her boyfriend
00:08:24Can I say something?
00:08:25I really don't buy John's whole
00:08:27I'm such a nice guy thing
00:08:28Like, you're a pervert
00:08:30You literally touch old ladies all day
00:08:32That's his job
00:08:34He's a physical therapist for old people
00:08:36Katie would fall for a pervert
00:08:38I mean, she's clueless
00:08:40Remember that time she got you, like, a briefcase
00:08:42Filled with old papers for your birthday?
00:08:44Those are my great-grandparents' birth certificates
00:08:46Why would you want that?
00:08:48She likes thoughtful surprises
00:08:49She's exactly like my sister
00:08:51She's nothing like your sister
00:08:54Mary had one kid
00:08:55And now she won't shut up about her pelvic floor
00:08:57Yeah, Mary's the worst
00:08:58And her baby isn't even cute
00:09:01I can't imagine having a baby right now
00:09:02It's actually disgusting to have a baby
00:09:04We're getting married?
00:09:06Kill me
00:09:07But we're pretty far from that
00:09:09We like you and me
00:09:11No, me and Katie
00:09:13Delaney, what?
00:09:14You and Katie are on totally different paths
00:09:16I mean, Katie lives with her boyfriend
00:09:19They're very serious
00:09:20And you literally still, like, fuck the first guy who shares a cigarette with you
00:09:28We love you, thank you
00:09:30Oh, thank you
00:09:31We love you so much
00:09:32I cannot wait to celebrate with you guys
00:09:33So excited
00:09:35Bye
00:09:37I love your family
00:09:38I love them
00:09:38Did you see your sister was crying?
00:09:40Yeah, no, it's funny
00:09:41She's known for months
00:09:42How did I not find this ring?
00:09:44Oh, the ring was in a box
00:09:45In a bin
00:09:46In an air vent
00:09:47In my office
00:09:47You would never find it
00:09:49And how were Delaney playing it?
00:09:51It's so cool
00:09:51Yeah, no, I didn't tell Delaney
00:09:55What?
00:09:57Oh, well, I figured you wanted to tell her, right?
00:10:00Yeah
00:10:29Yeah
00:10:30Yeah
00:10:30I thought you'd be pretty excited to tell her
00:10:33I am
00:10:35I really am
00:10:37I just want to tell her later
00:10:40Right
00:10:43I know
00:10:45I'm not her favorite person
00:10:47That is not true, Dawn
00:10:48She loves you
00:10:48It's just that she has a hard time with change
00:10:50You know when she was younger
00:10:51Her parents sold the family minivan
00:10:53And she asked if she could go visit it at its new house
00:10:57That's really sweet of her to want to check in on it
00:11:00And then remember when I told her I was moving out
00:11:04She didn't talk to me for like two weeks
00:11:06Mm-hmm
00:11:08And whenever I passed her door
00:11:09She'd be muttering, Benedict Arnold
00:11:11Right, but this
00:11:12This is a good change
00:11:14I know
00:11:15And I'm so excited
00:11:16And I love you so much
00:11:17And I cannot wait to get married
00:11:21But I just want to make sure I tell her
00:11:24Just in the right way for her
00:11:27Okay
00:11:30So let's parking lot the holiday campaign
00:11:32And dig into the meat and taters
00:11:34Of our spring into content campaign
00:11:36So this campaign is
00:11:38It's going to be a big lift
00:11:39So we really need to stop the scroll
00:11:41We need some big ideas
00:11:43We need some blue sky ideas
00:11:45And like we just like really need everybody on this
00:11:47But I was kind of thinking Delaney
00:11:49Maybe you could run a point for us
00:11:52Hmm, I don't
00:11:53I don't really have the bandwidth for that right now
00:11:55I copy that
00:11:56Luca, it's all yours
00:12:00Okay, um, wow
00:12:01Yeah, that's
00:12:02That is just
00:12:03That's amazing
00:12:04I do just want to flag
00:12:05That I'm working overtime
00:12:07On two major campaigns right now
00:12:08Since Delaney didn't have the bandwidth last month
00:12:10So it's just kind of all fallen on my shoulders
00:12:13So that's
00:12:13That's totally fine
00:12:14I just do just want to flag that
00:12:16No, and thank you for flagging that
00:12:18Delaney
00:12:18Do you think you could maybe like
00:12:20Carve out some time
00:12:21To kind of tag team it?
00:12:24Yeah, I got a flag
00:12:25That I'm spread pretty thin over here
00:12:28What are you working on, Delaney?
00:12:30Putting out fires
00:12:31What kind of fires?
00:12:32Big ones with employees that you don't know
00:12:34Right, and is that why your camera's always off?
00:12:37No, my camera's off, Luca
00:12:39Because it's allowed to be off
00:12:40Okay, guys
00:12:41I should finish up with a round of peaks and valleys
00:12:44So my valley was missing last week's happy hour
00:12:47Never has someone been so missed
00:12:49But my peak is that it's on the books for next week
00:12:52Popcorn to Delaney
00:12:54I guess my valley was editing Luca's Q4 pitch
00:12:59And then my peak was
00:13:01It's done now
00:13:02Popcorn to Alex
00:13:04You know
00:13:08My valley
00:13:09Was it Ryan and I hit a speed bump?
00:13:13Wow
00:13:13So he wants to open up the relationship
00:13:16And I just
00:13:17I don't think that I have the sexual confidence to withstand it
00:13:21So we're taking some time apart
00:13:22To kind of ideate on next steps
00:13:25But Alex, are you okay?
00:13:27How are you feeling?
00:13:29You know, like I was upset
00:13:31Obviously
00:13:32I was really upset
00:13:33For a beat
00:13:33But then I had a one-on-one with my best friend
00:13:35You know, we went out
00:13:36We got some drinks
00:13:37We blew off steam
00:13:38Just like old times
00:13:39Just the two of us
00:13:40And that like really, really helped
00:13:42Best friends just get it?
00:13:43Oh, we're so aligned on that, Luca
00:13:48So what was Dad's reaction?
00:13:50We FaceTimed him quickly
00:13:51Yeah, he was really happy for us
00:13:53Yeah
00:13:54Yeah
00:13:56I mean, not that happy
00:13:57Oh
00:13:59Come on
00:13:59He was really excited
00:14:00It seemed
00:14:01Yeah, or you need to call him after five
00:14:04Speaking of alcoholics
00:14:05How did Delaney take the news?
00:14:07Um
00:14:08She was happy
00:14:09Fine, good
00:14:10Delaney doesn't know yet
00:14:12Katie wanted to tell her in her own way
00:14:14Before we told anybody else
00:14:15That is so classic
00:14:17I, uh
00:14:17Do you know that Delaney knew that our parents were getting divorced before I did?
00:14:21Is that true?
00:14:22Yeah
00:14:22I mean, uh
00:14:23She's my best friend
00:14:25So
00:14:27I think you'd get it if you had a best friend
00:14:29Well, my wife is my best friend
00:14:31So, Daria, who's your best friend?
00:14:33No, I'd rather not say
00:14:34We're each other's best friends
00:14:36Yeah
00:14:36Yeah
00:14:37Like normal adults
00:14:39Yeah
00:14:40Delaney loves Katie
00:14:41She'll be really happy once we tell her
00:14:44John, have you ever heard of expectation recalibration therapy?
00:14:47I was reading an article about it
00:14:49Excuse me
00:14:49What article?
00:14:51It's an article
00:14:51Where was this article?
00:14:54In the journals for doctor, peep doctors
00:14:56Henry
00:14:57Have you been listening again?
00:14:59To my sessions with my patients?
00:15:01Anyway, expectation recalibration is basically a therapy where you work to accept that someone will never change, right?
00:15:06Like, they suck, like, medically
00:15:08And in your case, that's Delaney
00:15:10And in our case, it's our dad
00:15:11So, I mean, Daria confirmed that he's a narcissist
00:15:14I have never treated your father
00:15:16And I've never made any medical claims about him
00:15:18Excuse me
00:15:19I mean, but you have
00:15:19I mean, we've talked about
00:15:20What are you talking about?
00:15:21You know
00:15:21What?
00:15:22I sent him 20 of my poems in the past year
00:15:2520
00:15:27And he never once told me that I was talented
00:15:30Right?
00:15:32I mean, how hard is it to reply with a compliment?
00:15:34And how hard is it to, like, you know
00:15:36Just say, like, a simple Henry
00:15:37You are a brilliant artist, right?
00:15:39And it is a crime that you have to edit
00:15:41Other people's much weaker novels
00:15:43Instead of traveling the world on your own book tour, right?
00:15:46He is selfish, Katie
00:15:48And so is Delaney
00:15:49Yeah, I hear you
00:15:51I don't think Delaney's selfish
00:15:53I think she has a hard time with change
00:15:54Daria was treating our neighbor the other day
00:15:57Henry
00:15:57No, he's a total freak, Daria
00:15:58I mean, he gets off on lizards
00:16:00And let, wait, did he say blizzards or it was lizards?
00:16:03It was lizards, right?
00:16:04It was lizards
00:16:04He gets off on lizards
00:16:05And his wife wants to divorce him
00:16:07Clearly
00:16:08And Daria said something that I think applies here
00:16:12Tell them the thing about the change
00:16:15Oh, well, you know
00:16:16People's nerves about change
00:16:19They can be calmed by the familiar
00:16:22So
00:16:22You take them to a comfortable environment
00:16:24And you break the news
00:16:27It's kind of like
00:16:27We take your kids to their favorite ice cream shop
00:16:30And tell them you're getting a divorce
00:16:31I mean, I think that's something that you should consider with Delaney
00:16:34I mean, she's about as mature as an eight-year-old, so
00:16:37Seen her hork down a pint of Chubby Hubby in one sitting
00:16:40So we know she likes ice cream
00:16:44Yeah
00:16:47That's not a real basketball
00:16:49Third from the left is cake
00:16:50You know, I decided I don't even want cake at my birthday this year
00:16:53I actually think it's really weird to, like, bring out food and then make people eat it
00:16:57Did you find a bar yet?
00:16:59I think I'm going to do it here
00:17:00But I'm going for a very specific aesthetic
00:17:02So if you could not invite
00:17:03Ah, no!
00:17:05I thought you'd be asleep
00:17:09Katie, I didn't know you still had a key
00:17:11Uh, Delaney said I could keep one for emergencies
00:17:13What's the emergency?
00:17:15Um, well, this time it's not so much an emergency
00:17:17Really, as it is, um
00:17:20A surprise
00:17:21For my best friend
00:17:22Oh, man, I had actually had this whole thing planned
00:17:25And I was going to sneak in and, like, put clues around the apartment
00:17:27But, okay, whatever
00:17:27Since you're awake, I'll just show you now
00:17:33What the fuck is that?
00:17:35I planned us a mini beach vacation
00:17:39You don't seem excited
00:17:40What's there to be excited about, Katie?
00:17:42It's the beach
00:17:43I'm excited
00:17:43I really am
00:17:45Um, and that poster is
00:17:47That's your most thoughtful gift yet
00:17:48Do you see the umbrella?
00:17:49I see the umbrella
00:17:51You know these trips can be kind of weird for me
00:17:54Is John at least bringing a friend?
00:17:55No, no, John's not coming
00:17:58Why?
00:17:58Yeah, why?
00:18:00No reason
00:18:01I just thought it would be great for the two of us
00:18:04To go on a trip
00:18:05Connect
00:18:06Have some quality time
00:18:07Like old times?
00:18:08Yes
00:18:09Yes
00:18:10Just like old times
00:18:13Ew
00:18:27Kiss me once
00:18:29Kiss me twice
00:18:33Your sugar and spice
00:18:36And everything nice
00:18:39Girl
00:18:40Love me forever
00:18:42And I'll be true
00:18:49To you
00:18:50Girl
00:18:51All right, there we go
00:18:53Nice
00:18:54We're here
00:18:55What time is check-in at the Pelican Palace?
00:18:58Surprise
00:18:58We aren't staying at the Pelican Palace
00:19:01What?
00:19:02Yeah, I got us a
00:19:03I got us a rental house
00:19:04Actually
00:19:05On Wonder Weekend
00:19:07Wonder Weekend rentals
00:19:07Kind of creep me out
00:19:09I don't like the idea
00:19:10Of using other people's kitchen appliances
00:19:11But you're okay sleeping in a bed
00:19:13Or a bunch of high schoolers
00:19:14Just round at the bases?
00:19:15But the Pelican Palace
00:19:16Is where all the parties end up
00:19:17I know
00:19:18Imagine that noise
00:19:19When you sleep a frickin' wink
00:19:22Is there a bar?
00:19:25At the rental house?
00:19:27Is it a shared space or private?
00:19:30And there's a lockbox
00:19:32So we don't even have
00:19:35To meet the guy
00:19:36You found it
00:19:39Gosh, GPS can be a little wonky here
00:19:41So glad you guys figured it out
00:19:43How we doing?
00:19:45Are you, uh
00:19:47Are you, uh, Douglas?
00:19:50Are you my fifth grade teacher?
00:19:52Just Dougie's fine
00:19:53Yeah
00:19:54I just asked because the listing had said
00:19:56That there was a lockbox
00:19:58So I didn't think we'd get to meet
00:19:59Here she is
00:20:00Yeah
00:20:01I love to walk everyone
00:20:02Through the space first
00:20:03Only cause
00:20:05It's a really important place to me
00:20:06Oh
00:20:06It was my mom's
00:20:07She, uh
00:20:09She died here
00:20:11Oh, gosh, no
00:20:12Not in the front yard
00:20:14Oh
00:20:15She died inside
00:20:17Katie, right?
00:20:18So you must be Delaney
00:20:19Mm-hmm
00:20:20Yeah
00:20:20I love that name
00:20:21Family name?
00:20:22It was my grandfather's
00:20:23Oh, my gosh
00:20:24I was named after my mom's brother
00:20:26Who we don't talk to anymore
00:20:28He's, uh
00:20:29He's a pedophile, so
00:20:30Oh, I'm sorry
00:20:32Oh, no, no, no
00:20:32He was always
00:20:34Cool with me
00:20:34Yeah
00:20:36But, uh
00:20:36Called a lot
00:20:37You know
00:20:37When he was doing time
00:20:38Yeah
00:20:39I guess inmates are, like, really hard
00:20:41On child predators
00:20:42I didn't mind saying hi then
00:20:44But once he got out
00:20:44And started coming here unannounced
00:20:46Oh, my gosh
00:20:47I keep talking and talking
00:20:49You guys probably just want to see inside, right?
00:20:51Pretty cute, huh?
00:20:52I love it
00:20:54Yeah
00:20:55Mom left the place to meet my sister
00:20:57But
00:20:57Lauren has a family now
00:20:58So
00:20:59She let me keep it all to myself
00:21:00Ah, score
00:21:01Yeah
00:21:02Oh, all the art on the wall
00:21:03Is for sale
00:21:04Oh
00:21:08What little munchkin did these?
00:21:10I am an artist
00:21:12Yeah
00:21:12Well, technically my day job is medical sales
00:21:14But
00:21:15I've been working my tush off
00:21:17Is there a Wi-Fi password?
00:21:19Uh, yeah
00:21:20It was in the welcome pamphlet that I sent over
00:21:24Because guests are really supposed to read the pamphlet
00:21:26Before they check in
00:21:27Oh
00:21:28But it's okay
00:21:29I have a spare
00:21:31Set of rules
00:21:32Right here
00:21:33Oh, perfect
00:21:33Oh, I also threw in my favorite local spots
00:21:36You girls hot dog fans?
00:21:37Dingo's dogs
00:21:38Yeah
00:21:38Yeah
00:21:39Um, we know it
00:21:40We used to come here and you were a little
00:21:41Fun
00:21:42Yeah
00:21:42Sisters?
00:21:43Best friends
00:21:44I love, uh, best friends
00:21:45Any big plans for best friends night?
00:21:48Um, I think we'll probably hang here and make a cheese plate
00:21:53You get plenty of cheese at home
00:21:56I thought we could go to a bar
00:21:58I mean, I brought a lot of orange wine for us to drink here
00:22:01Oh
00:22:02That's a no
00:22:04What is?
00:22:05No alcohol on the premises
00:22:07That's ridiculous
00:22:09Um, what she means is we were really just gonna have a glass or two?
00:22:13Yeah, no exception to the rules
00:22:14Was it just a quick scam of the welcome email?
00:22:18Because no shoes is also a big one
00:22:21I can't sleep with the sound of stomping
00:22:24I thought this was a private space
00:22:25Yeah
00:22:26The upstairs is your private domain
00:22:29I hang my hat in the subterranean domicile
00:22:33I live in the basement
00:22:39What are you doing?
00:22:40Head of file has this address
00:22:42Okay, well, it's a good thing we're adults
00:22:44I look young
00:22:47So what happens when you stray from places you know and love?
00:22:49Your mom got staff at the Pelican Palace
00:22:51The Pelican Palace is fun
00:22:53They keep beers in the ice machine
00:22:55You prefer dirty ice?
00:22:56Over a literal deathbed?
00:22:57Yeah
00:22:58Okay, I put a lot of effort into planning this trip
00:23:00And I would like if we could at least relax
00:23:02And try to connect, enjoy ourselves, appreciate where we are
00:23:07Ow
00:23:12Cameras?
00:23:13What the hell?
00:23:14What?
00:23:15They're where I work at Urban Outfitters?
00:23:16Alright, those cameras aren't even on
00:23:18People just see them and are less likely to steal
00:23:21Do you see any ironic coffee table books for sale here?
00:23:24Because I don't
00:23:25Dougie isn't boarding off shoplifters
00:23:27He's watching us get his rocks off
00:23:29He's not camped out in front of the monitor
00:23:30With his hands down his pants
00:23:32He's nice
00:23:35No, no, I'm not staying here all night
00:23:38And being one of Dougie's cheese-eating cam girls, okay?
00:23:40I'm going to a bar
00:23:42All night at a bar?
00:23:43Yeah
00:23:45Shh, shh
00:23:45Thing is though, if it's loud
00:23:48We won't really be able to talk
00:23:50We talk all day
00:23:53I know, that's a good point
00:23:57Yeah, let's go to a bar
00:24:00Man, this place has really changed
00:24:04Used to get packed
00:24:06I saw this pottery place in town
00:24:07And they have a morning class
00:24:08That teaches you how to make little bowls for your keys
00:24:10I kind of was hoping we'd sleep in
00:24:11Yeah, it's not till 7
00:24:13Okay
00:24:15Cheers to this weekend
00:24:15Thank you for planning it
00:24:17Um
00:24:18As you know, we've had so many great memories here as friends
00:24:21And we've crossed so many milestones together
00:24:24And I thought it would be the perfect place to come
00:24:27To cross one more
00:24:28And I think that it's the most important thing we do
00:24:31If we are able to flourish together
00:24:34Like two roses
00:24:35Two best friend, I guess, roses
00:24:37Who, um
00:24:38Uh, can I get a beer, please?
00:24:40Yeah
00:24:40That guy?
00:24:42Real hot
00:24:42Who?
00:24:43The helmet guy
00:24:46Uh, okay
00:24:47Not why we're here
00:24:48Um, okay
00:24:49So I was saying
00:24:49We, we have crossed so many milestones together
00:24:52Here as friends
00:24:53He looks like Dennis Fuller
00:24:54Oh, Dennis Fuller
00:24:55Another loser
00:24:56Should we go talk to him?
00:24:58I, I'm in the middle of saying something
00:24:59Okay?
00:25:01Um
00:25:06You gonna pick that up?
00:25:07I'm gonna call him back
00:25:12Uh, I, I'm gonna be quick
00:25:14Don't move
00:25:20Sorry, uh
00:25:21Had to get to a quiet place
00:25:22Delaney dragged me to a bar
00:25:23You out celebrating?
00:25:26Celebrating?
00:25:26The proposal
00:25:29Katie?
00:25:29Uh, yeah
00:25:30Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:25:31It cut, it cut out for a sec
00:25:32Um
00:25:33Not, yeah
00:25:34Not yet
00:25:34You said that you would tell her by tonight
00:25:36No, no, I know
00:25:37I, I was, I was just about to when you called
00:25:38Well, Zaria sent over some invitation samples
00:25:41And she said we should pick one by next week
00:25:43Okay, yeah, sounds good
00:25:44I'll send you some photos
00:25:46And then you can decide
00:25:47Or I can decide
00:25:49To send me photos on the back
00:25:51Uh, whichever
00:25:51Okay
00:25:52I'll catch you later
00:25:53Love you
00:25:54Bye
00:25:58Checking in?
00:25:59All right
00:25:59We gotta check in
00:26:01I'm the social chair for Sigma Nu
00:26:02So I got to plan this bachelor party
00:26:04For my almost bro-in-law
00:26:05And I always go big
00:26:07Last month
00:26:07We had a naughty nuns
00:26:09And a frisky friars party
00:26:10Friars are like bald priests
00:26:12Tell me, what do you do?
00:26:13Uh, finance
00:26:14Pfft
00:26:15Okay
00:26:16Humble
00:26:16Do you follow crypto?
00:26:18Because he, he, he created Apex coin
00:26:20Uh, GQ did vote at one of their up-and-coming coins of the year this year
00:26:24But it's not a big deal
00:26:25Oh my god
00:26:25Anybody come make this low-iddy-bee coin
00:26:28Nobody
00:26:28Oh, so sorry
00:26:29Sorry
00:26:30Hi
00:26:30Hey
00:26:30Um, I'm Katie
00:26:31Hey
00:26:32Kaylee
00:26:33Kaylee
00:26:33Oh my god
00:26:33You look exactly like my twins
00:26:35Look at them
00:26:38Hello
00:26:39Is Apex coin funding any strippers this weekend?
00:26:41I don't pay for intimate experiences
00:26:43I do
00:26:44I wanted one real bad
00:26:46I found one online that's so mean to you
00:26:48Sorry about him
00:26:49The legend himself
00:26:51It's Charlie
00:26:53Delaney
00:26:53Katie
00:26:54Nice to meet you
00:26:55Katie
00:26:55Again
00:26:57Do you think it was a bad idea to have a college junior play in my master party?
00:27:00Uh, we're actually probably gonna head out
00:27:05Oh, would you actually mind opening these for us?
00:27:07All good
00:27:07I got it
00:27:08Oh, no
00:27:09P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-party flops
00:27:11Ha
00:27:13Yeah
00:27:13You didn't, you didn't want to use your party flop?
00:27:16You
00:27:17Thank you
00:27:18One beer and we go
00:27:21One beer and we go
00:27:40Let's go
00:27:40Yeah, let's fucking go
00:27:43I'm gonna fire up some tunes
00:27:48That smells fucking awful
00:27:50Oh my god, that smells so bad
00:27:51Wait
00:27:52I didn't smell anything
00:27:53I didn't
00:27:54What's it smell like?
00:27:57Yo
00:27:59Did anybody see a dog walk through here?
00:28:03Bottle opener on the bottom of a shoe?
00:28:05Stop smiling
00:28:06Stop
00:28:08I don't know what kind of moron walks through dog shit and has no idea
00:28:11You didn't even know how to get strippers for a bachelor party
00:28:13Well, not all guys like strippers
00:28:14That one I get
00:28:15Yeah, totally
00:28:16John really doesn't
00:28:17Okay
00:28:17John actually doesn't
00:28:19Because he has a sister
00:28:20He does?
00:28:21You've hung out with her like three times
00:28:23All right
00:28:26Will you open the door?
00:28:30You have the key
00:28:30You have the key
00:28:32No
00:28:33I have the key?
00:28:34You wanted to carry it
00:28:36I have the key
00:28:38I don't have the key
00:28:41Where'd it go?
00:28:41It might have fallen out of my pocket
00:28:43Why can't you carry a purse?
00:28:44I'm sorry
00:28:45I need to brush my teeth
00:28:46We can go back to the bar and look for them?
00:28:47No
00:28:49You know what we have to do?
00:28:51No
00:28:52Yeah
00:28:54Sorry again, doggy
00:28:55Oh, that's fine
00:28:56I was only asleep for an hour
00:28:57Okay, good
00:28:58Have a good day
00:28:58Oh, sorry
00:29:00Just pop those off for me
00:29:02Oh
00:29:02Yeah
00:29:02Sorry
00:29:03Just the rules
00:29:06Thank you
00:29:07I just forgot
00:29:08That's fine
00:29:10I love those flats
00:29:14Oh, sorry
00:29:18Before you go back down to the basement
00:29:20What's the deal with the cameras?
00:29:22Oh my gosh
00:29:23I had to up my security after a nightmare renter
00:29:26Ever heard of a home birth?
00:29:30But the cameras don't actually record
00:29:32Oh, no
00:29:33They're the real deal
00:29:33Yeah
00:29:34No audio, of course
00:29:36Because you need a permit for that
00:29:37And no cameras in the bedrooms or bathrooms
00:29:41This was all in the
00:29:42In the welcome email
00:29:43Yeah
00:29:44Was it just a quick skim?
00:29:45Because we can pop a squat and look things over if you want
00:29:48Oh, no
00:29:49We should not pop any squats
00:29:50But we'd like to go to bed
00:29:52And we'd like to watch TV
00:29:54Alone
00:29:55Do you guys know how to work the Roku?
00:29:56Yes
00:29:57Yes
00:29:57I saw that in the binder
00:29:59She saw the
00:30:01I cracked myself up
00:30:04I don't have a Roku
00:30:05It was a trick question
00:30:06You fell right into my trap
00:30:10I'm really gonna need you to do a refresher of the rules after I leave
00:30:13Okay?
00:30:15Gonna need a verbal K from both of you
00:30:18Okay
00:30:26And while I'm at it
00:30:27Why don't I throw us all in a group text
00:30:29Just in case of emergencies
00:30:31Katie, I have your digits
00:30:32But um
00:30:34Delaney
00:30:58What time is it?
00:30:59It's early
00:31:02It's really early
00:31:03Go back to bed
00:31:10I'm gonna
00:31:12I'm gonna go get us coffees
00:31:35It's a matter of privacy, Otto
00:31:36I think it's a little weird for your friend's wife to post something before I, the bride
00:31:41Have posted anything, you know?
00:31:43I mean
00:31:43But you told Delaney, right?
00:31:45Yes, yes
00:32:14I told her we were engaged
00:32:17Congratulations
00:32:18Thank you, thank you
00:32:19It's really recent
00:32:22And I'm really, really excited
00:32:26I just need to figure out
00:32:27I just need to figure out
00:32:28I haven't told my best friend yet
00:32:31Delaney, who you met last night
00:32:33So I just need to, you know, figure stuff out
00:32:35So
00:32:36What, she doesn't like him?
00:32:37Uh, you know
00:32:38I mean, she's not the most emotive person
00:32:40So it can be
00:32:42It can be
00:32:42It was hard to tell in the beginning
00:32:43But yeah, she likes him
00:32:45She does
00:32:46Yeah, she does like him
00:32:47Yeah
00:32:47Now say it one more time
00:32:48But I want you to really mean it
00:32:49She, she does like him, so
00:32:52Look
00:32:53A few of my friends weren't that happy for me when I got engaged
00:32:56I think they're just freaked out
00:32:58That they think your fiancé's gonna hijack your life
00:33:00And they're never gonna see you again
00:33:01I know, which is crazy
00:33:02One of them just
00:33:03Straight up stopped inviting me places
00:33:05Because he said, I don't know how to hang anymore
00:33:08Not that that's gonna happen to you
00:33:10I think
00:33:10No, no, I know
00:33:11Um
00:33:14Yeah
00:33:14Okay, good luck with
00:33:16You know
00:33:17Enjoy your coffee
00:33:18Yeah
00:33:19Bye
00:33:27You're up
00:33:28What time is it?
00:33:29Time to get up
00:33:30Cold brew
00:33:31There you go
00:33:33It's beautiful out, by the way
00:33:34Where's my phone?
00:33:35Our phones are tucked away safely in the kitchen drawer
00:33:39Why?
00:33:40Because today is about having fun without distractions
00:33:43We're gonna float around untethered to technology
00:33:46Just like when we were little
00:33:47What happened to pottery?
00:33:49We're not going to pottery
00:33:50We're gonna be wild
00:33:52Crazy
00:33:52Spontaneous
00:33:53We are going off the grid
00:33:55All right
00:33:58You think there's a left vet there?
00:34:00I was following you
00:34:01I'm following you
00:34:02I'm following you
00:34:03Why?
00:34:03I'm left-brained
00:34:04No, I'm left-brained
00:34:06Which one's the one that's bad at math?
00:34:08Because you're that one
00:34:08That's very rude
00:34:10You know what's rude is
00:34:11Those are my sneakers
00:34:12And you're wearing them
00:34:13And you didn't ask me
00:34:14Katie?
00:34:15Gwen!
00:34:16Oh my god, hi
00:34:17I'm Delaney
00:34:18Hey
00:34:19Hey, Gwen
00:34:20Oh my god, wow
00:34:21You two hanging out
00:34:23It's like stepping back into 2008 again
00:34:27I love it
00:34:31You have a baby
00:34:32Congratulations
00:34:33Yeah, Max
00:34:34She's a girl
00:34:36She's amazing
00:34:36She's such a great eater
00:34:38She sleeps 8 to 8
00:34:39Wow, that's awesome
00:34:40Are you here for the weekend?
00:34:41Oh no, my partner and I
00:34:42We live here full-time
00:34:43Yeah, we moved away from the city
00:34:44Which was super scary
00:34:45But, you know, I love it
00:34:46Wait, did I say that you got married?
00:34:48Uh, no
00:34:49No
00:34:50Oh, you know what?
00:34:51I'm thinking about the other Katie in your grade
00:34:53Yeah, the other Katie
00:34:54She had her wedding featured on Nautical Nuptials
00:34:56Amazing
00:34:57Wow
00:34:59Well, what are you up to today?
00:35:00We're probably just gonna grab some food at the deli
00:35:03Actually, in town
00:35:04Oh my god
00:35:05Their locks is what got me through my second trimester
00:35:08Just the craziest cravings
00:35:10With this little one
00:35:10You know, pistachios
00:35:11Fish
00:35:12Cottage cheese
00:35:13Butt stuff
00:35:13Whatever
00:35:14You name it
00:35:14I had it
00:35:15Oh, crazy
00:35:16Idea alert
00:35:17But we're actually having a BBQ at mine today
00:35:19You should come
00:35:19Is it a party?
00:35:21It's a BBQ
00:35:22Yeah
00:35:23Come
00:35:30Sorry, we just
00:35:31We get it a little crazy on the weekends
00:35:34Well, I mean
00:35:35As, you know, crazy as we can
00:35:36With a little one
00:35:40So, what is it you do, Theo?
00:35:43I'm a filmmaker
00:35:45Yeah, um, commercials
00:35:47Yeah, he just got back from Tokyo
00:35:49Oh, wow
00:35:50You know, I hear Japan's amazing
00:35:52What commercial were you shooting?
00:35:54Um, it's nothing
00:35:56Sweetie, just don't tell them
00:35:58Oh, he's being so modest
00:36:00He's being modest
00:36:01He was shooting a watch commercial
00:36:03With Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman
00:36:06Oh, wow
00:36:07Uh, that's so cool
00:36:09Did you get to meet them?
00:36:10The celebrities?
00:36:12Yeah, that's not really why I do it, though
00:36:17No, of course not
00:36:19Yeah
00:36:21Oh, hello
00:36:21Oh, hi
00:36:22Oh, no, careful
00:36:24She can bite
00:36:25Oh
00:36:25She does?
00:36:26Uh, well, yeah
00:36:27I guess she really likes you
00:36:29Um
00:36:30True, I've never seen her do that
00:36:31With anyone but me
00:36:33Nerd, why don't you
00:36:34Why don't you come here?
00:36:35Come
00:36:36Come on
00:36:36Hey, come on
00:36:38Nerd
00:36:38I think, um
00:36:41Yeah, I think it's your turn, Daddy
00:36:43You know, I'm pretty sure I read in the book that
00:36:45It's better to let him cry it out, right?
00:36:47No, that's for, um
00:36:48When we're putting her to sleep, babe
00:36:49Yes
00:36:50Well, and nappies
00:36:51No, no, not just nappies
00:36:53Oh
00:36:53No, she wants to
00:36:54She wants to
00:36:54Come on
00:36:55Yeah, I want to
00:36:56Yeah, okay
00:36:57Oh
00:36:59Oh
00:36:59You know what?
00:37:00We're gonna look after the child as well
00:37:02Come on
00:37:04Yeah
00:37:04Just excuse me, okay?
00:37:06No, that's okay
00:37:06Okay
00:37:08I'm very worried about the dog
00:37:11I'm sorry
00:37:12Okay, I felt bad
00:37:14I saw them wandering the neighborhood
00:37:15Looking wrongly at all these families
00:37:18What were they supposed to be?
00:37:19They just always invite strangers into this house
00:37:21First it was the kitten in the garage
00:37:23Now it's these spinsters from your past
00:37:26Baby, we have a child
00:37:29We do?
00:37:30Wow, I just forgot about the 46 hours of labor and my torn anus
00:37:34Oh
00:37:34The chatty one is hiding something
00:37:36And I know that you don't care
00:37:38But the new keeps on fiddling with Noodle
00:37:40I want them gone
00:37:41I want my life back
00:37:48Ladies, I couldn't
00:37:49I didn't find any weed but some ketamine
00:37:52Fuck
00:37:56Ow!
00:38:00Ow!
00:38:00Oh, it hit my spine
00:38:02Oh
00:38:03Oh my god
00:38:06Since when is petting a dog weird?
00:38:09It's not like I was only petting tail
00:38:10I'm serious
00:38:12Okay, well
00:38:12I'm not hiding anything
00:38:14They're just freaking nuts
00:38:15Whatever, that's the most excitement they've seen in months
00:38:17So
00:38:17Yeah?
00:38:18Her partner just shot a commercial with Brad Pitt
00:38:20But I hear you
00:38:21Yeah, they clearly hate each other
00:38:23Hate each other
00:38:24Maybe they're a little tired
00:38:25She had a baby
00:38:26Or maybe they were in love and then they had the baby
00:38:30And now they hate each other
00:38:31That's real nice
00:38:32I'm sorry
00:38:33That's the reason I don't want kids
00:38:35Alright, I know you want kids
00:38:37I mean it
00:38:38I don't want kids
00:38:40Okay, you don't mean that
00:38:41Don't say that
00:38:43Um, I do mean it
00:38:44I don't want kids
00:38:45Delaney, you don't mean that
00:38:47Stop
00:38:48Can we not have this conversation?
00:38:51Because that really put a damper on my entire day
00:38:53Yes
00:38:54Okay, sorry
00:38:55Um
00:38:55Okay
00:38:57What do you want to do?
00:39:01Follow me
00:39:02Okay
00:39:06Turn up the stereo
00:39:12Till everything right goes
00:39:19Life is a disco
00:39:24I'm gonna get this with my name on it
00:39:26And she's gonna get this with her name on it
00:39:31What's the other 2%?
00:39:33Um
00:39:34Carol Beagle
00:39:39Up in the window
00:39:45Get back in the sand
00:39:52This ain't no ghetto
00:39:58You're on the payroll
00:40:02No
00:40:05No
00:40:14I don't see that
00:40:17Very humble
00:40:21Let the grown man cry
00:40:25Oh my
00:40:28Oh my
00:40:31Oh my
00:40:37Really?
00:40:38Yes, he cuts his toenails
00:40:39In the car
00:40:39That's a good thing
00:40:40No
00:40:41Shots!
00:40:42Keep it going all nighter
00:40:44Oh, hi Kyle
00:40:46You sure you're allowed back in here?
00:40:51Dude, I'm so embarrassed
00:40:53How can we make this up to you?
00:40:55Um, I guess one of you could eat some dog shit
00:40:58Shit, I'll do it
00:40:59No, I'll do it
00:41:01I'll do it
00:41:02I'm so sorry that we keep subjecting you to this
00:41:04Let's just do a round of fireball shots
00:41:07For everyone
00:41:09You like fireball?
00:41:12I love fireball
00:41:16Let's fucking go
00:41:20What is with who?
00:41:22What's up, Kaylee?
00:41:24Oh my god, dude
00:41:25I gotta go to the bathroom
00:41:27Well, we've been having so much fun
00:41:29It's been hard to find the right time to tell her
00:41:32Right
00:41:33But more importantly, as soon as you tell her
00:41:35It's gonna be weird
00:41:37Uh, yeah, that too
00:41:39Alright, then don't think about it
00:41:40And just have fun
00:41:41I can't not think about it
00:41:44She is going to find out
00:41:46Mm-hmm
00:41:48Oh my god, you're so stressed
00:41:50I know, I know
00:41:51I can feel your heart beating in your chest
00:41:54I know
00:41:55I know
00:41:56Well, my fiancé wants to try for kids as soon as we get married
00:42:00So this will be the last time I see my friends for the next 18 years
00:42:07That's so sad
00:42:08I know
00:42:09Don't say that
00:42:10I agree
00:42:10The fact is, is that we're getting older
00:42:12And we're not gonna have a lot more weekends like this
00:42:14We're not 80 years old
00:42:15This is not your last hurrah
00:42:17Do you know what a bachelor party is?
00:42:18By definition, it is a last hurrah
00:42:20I think you're being dramatic
00:42:22I don't think so
00:42:26Maybe we get another drink?
00:42:28Yes
00:42:28Is that an awful idea?
00:42:29No, it's a good idea
00:42:30Okay, twist your arm?
00:42:32Twist my arm
00:42:33I don't really do the whole American idealization of excess, super-sized thing
00:42:37Well, except when it comes to real estate because tiny homes scare me
00:42:41Oh
00:42:43Beijing
00:42:44Hold those
00:42:45Thank you
00:42:49What's his deal?
00:42:51Oh, he's a good dude
00:42:52And he's like low-key rich now, too
00:42:54But he only dates models
00:42:55Sorry
00:42:56Hey, um
00:42:58Are, are you single?
00:43:00Yeah, I'm single
00:43:02Same
00:43:03I mean, me and my boys have like a strict no dating policy for junior year
00:43:07I love that
00:43:08I wish my friends got that
00:43:11Could you be putting a good word with, uh, Tommy?
00:43:14Like to date?
00:43:15No
00:43:16I'll like to smash
00:43:17Yeah, I'll just watch
00:43:20Yeah, I'll ask him
00:43:21Less of an ask and more of a temperature check
00:43:23Just check it out for me
00:43:25It's my mission to get you kissing
00:43:28Oh!
00:43:29Phil, Tommy
00:43:30Family fireball shots!
00:43:33Oh, fuck
00:43:35Cheers
00:43:36Down in the Caribbean sunshine
00:43:39In my younger days I was so bad
00:43:41Laughing about all the fun we had
00:43:44Seen enough to feel the world spin
00:43:46Mixes in different ocean feet and cousins
00:43:49Listen to the drummers and the night sounds
00:43:51Listen to the singers make the world fun
00:43:54Oh, fuck
00:43:55I forgot to vote
00:43:57Uh, guys, there's nothing open
00:43:58We really don't need to force the night
00:44:00No, no, no
00:44:01We said all-nighter
00:44:03We did
00:44:04I feel like Tommy Delaney still need to clap cheeks
00:44:07What are you talking about?
00:44:09Nothing, he's drunk
00:44:10Ignore him
00:44:10Well, we would invite you back to the Pelican Palace Bar
00:44:13Uh, but
00:44:14It is, I've been told
00:44:15An out-of-order vending machine
00:44:17In the parking lot
00:44:18So
00:44:20That's correct
00:44:21They can't host
00:44:22Do you
00:44:24You guys, should we just call it?
00:44:26Yes
00:44:26No, no, let's go to ours
00:44:30What about Dougie?
00:44:31Dougie?
00:44:32No
00:44:34We'll be quiet
00:44:38Sorry
00:44:39This is the only room in the house without cameras
00:44:41I have cash
00:44:42Yeah, I think, uh
00:44:43I think I should probably take Phil home
00:44:45No
00:44:46No
00:44:46No
00:44:47You should stay here
00:44:49Charlie and Katie, they'll be back any second
00:44:51Chill
00:44:51I'm friends with Danny
00:44:52Or
00:44:53We could play a game
00:44:55You guys ever heard of
00:44:56Twister?
00:44:57Oh, man
00:44:59The beta thighs brought it to, uh
00:45:01The hockey house last spring
00:45:03No, uh, seriously
00:45:04I told Phil's wife I'd watch him
00:45:06I think it's time for us to go
00:45:08Phil
00:45:08I'm good
00:45:09Chill
00:45:09Come on, we'll go back to the hotel
00:45:11I think we should get Phil coffee
00:45:12Phil, do you want a coffee?
00:45:13Don't fucking touch me
00:45:15All right, yeah, let's get Phil coffee
00:45:18Is that okay?
00:45:19Yeah, go get me fucking coffee and get out of here
00:45:22Great, let's get Phil coffee
00:45:23Bye
00:45:24This guy fucking thinks he knows what it's like to fucking live in a house with three women
00:45:28No offense, you're awesome
00:45:30Ooh, a smooth banana IPA
00:45:34That could be your wedding drink
00:45:36Like your bride signature cocktail
00:45:37I'm not doing any of that stuff
00:45:40Right
00:45:40Because you're, like, cool bride
00:45:43Yes
00:45:43Yes, that's right
00:45:45What's your signature cocktail?
00:45:47Well, I'm a cool groom
00:45:48So, I can't do that
00:45:50Oh
00:45:50You might actually be too cool of a groom
00:45:53If it takes you seven years to propose
00:45:57Look, love happens in its own time
00:45:59Oh, right
00:46:00It's, you know, I don't make the timetable
00:46:02Love makes the timetable
00:46:03And that's what you told her?
00:46:04Yeah
00:46:04Yes, that's what I told her
00:46:05And how much time did that buy you?
00:46:07Seven years
00:46:09Ah, ah, ah
00:46:10I think
00:46:12What?
00:46:13Made you wait so long?
00:46:15I just wasn't sure
00:46:17About your fiance?
00:46:18About any of it
00:46:19I just
00:46:19I just didn't know if that's what I wanted
00:46:22You know, I just think
00:46:23It's this thing that we all think we're supposed to do
00:46:25Because everybody else does it
00:46:26But we never stop and ask ourselves
00:46:28If it's what we actually want
00:46:30And then
00:46:30I realized
00:46:31That I did want it
00:46:33And I do want kids
00:46:35And that
00:46:36Eventually I just had to get out of my own way
00:46:38And find somebody that I liked
00:46:40And use good judgment
00:46:41And be smart
00:46:42And just
00:46:43You know
00:46:44Pick them and
00:46:46Be happy
00:46:48So romantic
00:46:49I don't care if you don't think it's romantic
00:46:51It's honest
00:46:52And
00:46:53Honesty is what sustains
00:46:55A marriage
00:46:55It's not romance
00:46:57I mean, you actually
00:46:59Don't think that there's one person
00:47:01For everyone?
00:47:03I'm sorry
00:47:04You can't be serious
00:47:05What?
00:47:06One person for everyone?
00:47:07No, of course not
00:47:08I think there are millions of people
00:47:10That we can connect with
00:47:11It's just a matter of when you meet them
00:47:13We're not marrying these people
00:47:15Because of timing
00:47:17Don't say we're marrying them
00:47:18Because of soulmates
00:47:19Because I'll leave you here
00:47:20With those beers
00:47:25We are marrying them
00:47:26Because we love them
00:47:29Yes
00:47:31I mean, right?
00:47:33I said yes
00:47:35I
00:47:35You're not selling me
00:47:37Do you know?
00:47:38That's not my job
00:47:39Oh
00:47:40This coffee expired six years ago
00:47:43Coffee doesn't expire
00:47:44I got cash money, baby girl
00:47:46Remember that stuff from the 90s?
00:47:47Tell me about that
00:47:48We'll give you some tap water, okay?
00:47:49Or like Windex or something
00:47:50Would you like to share a glass of wine?
00:47:52What?
00:47:54Someone found a speaker
00:47:56Connect
00:47:57Now, I have to conserve my battery for the Uber
00:47:59So we can leave
00:48:00You remember leaving?
00:48:01You can use my phone for the music
00:48:03No offense
00:48:04But you probably don't have my kind of music on your phone
00:48:07So
00:48:07What kind of music do you like?
00:48:09House
00:48:09But a very specific kind of house
00:48:11I like specific house
00:48:12My God
00:48:14Just listen to your music, okay?
00:48:16Put on your phone
00:48:16I'm fine
00:48:17Are you
00:48:17Put on your phone
00:48:18I'm fine
00:48:19Oh, Tommy
00:48:22I'm coming, Tommy
00:48:28I'm gonna make two glasses of wine still
00:48:30For if anyone wants to stay
00:48:32And drink it with me
00:49:01Delaney, can you fire for some pizzas, hon?
00:49:05For the guys, at least?
00:49:07I mean, I'm happy to host
00:49:08Yeah, you don't seem anxious about it at all
00:49:11I'm a little worried
00:49:12If I get a bad review, that is on you
00:49:14What is with you in this review?
00:49:15Are you in some sort of legal bind?
00:49:17No
00:49:18No, but
00:49:19I will write you a comment
00:49:20If they give you a shitty review
00:49:22Oh
00:49:22Oh
00:49:23Thank you
00:49:23You know
00:49:25We can just go back to my hotel
00:49:27If you want
00:49:28I mean, just say the word
00:49:32Charlie, I can't
00:49:34I'm engaged
00:49:35You know
00:49:36I
00:49:37Trust me
00:49:41I feel it too
00:49:42But there's not
00:49:43I'm sorry
00:49:44I meant like
00:49:46I meant all of us
00:49:47Would go back to my hotel
00:49:48Like
00:49:49Instead of
00:49:50You hosting here
00:49:51Just because you seemed anxious about it
00:49:53Yeah, no
00:49:53I'm
00:49:55I'm so sorry
00:49:56Just because we'd been flirting
00:49:58So I thought that you were
00:49:59I wasn't suggesting that you and I
00:50:00Would go back alone to my hotel
00:50:03I hope I wasn't giving off that impression
00:50:06I mean
00:50:07Did you think the friendly banter
00:50:08Meant that I was gonna like
00:50:09Cheat on my fiance?
00:50:10No
00:50:12No
00:50:20I got it
00:50:20Okay
00:50:21That's a fad, dude
00:50:26Delaney, what the fuck are you doing?
00:50:28We said we'd stay in the bedroom
00:50:30Delaney
00:50:31Phil, buddy, time to go
00:50:32Finally, yeah, let's go
00:50:34No
00:50:34Stay
00:50:35You can go to my room
00:50:36I'll make it fun
00:50:37No
00:50:38No, thanks
00:50:39Is it because I'm not a model?
00:50:40No
00:50:40Because I don't share a genuine connection with you
00:50:43And it feels weird to lead you on
00:50:44Oh, fuck you
00:50:45You know
00:50:46I came here to celebrate an important time in Charlie's life
00:50:49I tried to politely keep my distance
00:50:50So I could spend time with my friends
00:50:52Who I never see
00:50:53But you inserted yourself into our plants
00:50:55And put us all in a very weird situation
00:50:58So honestly, fuck you, Delaney
00:51:00No
00:51:01No
00:51:02No, no, no
00:51:03Fuck you, Tommy
00:51:04Fuck you
00:51:06Because that
00:51:07That's the dopest girl that I've ever met
00:51:10And you may not get her
00:51:13But I do
00:51:21I think I love you
00:51:30What are you talking about?
00:51:34What?
00:51:35No, no, no, no, no
00:51:36What is going on here?
00:51:38Who are these people?
00:51:39Mom's house?
00:51:40Can you not?
00:51:41On the art?
00:51:42I'm sorry
00:51:42I'm sorry
00:51:43They are about to leave
00:51:44Additional guests?
00:51:45Shoes inside?
00:51:47Alcohol?
00:51:49You agreed to the rules
00:51:51I know, I know
00:51:51I'm sorry
00:51:52There were a lot of rules
00:51:53And honestly, no alcohol is crazy
00:51:55So
00:51:56Yeah, because I don't want to relapse again
00:51:58I'm two years sober
00:51:59What is wrong with you people?
00:52:01This is my house
00:52:02It kills me that I have to rent this out
00:52:05But with my mom's leftover medical bills
00:52:07I don't really have
00:52:13Really?
00:52:14I'm not going to not do the coke
00:52:18Hi
00:52:19Hi
00:52:20We're here for Big Dick Phil
00:52:22Oh my god
00:52:24I'm him
00:52:26Phil, please tell me that you didn't hire
00:52:28Delaney said I could
00:52:29I said he could
00:52:30Because guess what?
00:52:31All guys like strippers, Katie
00:52:33Even your lover, Charlie
00:52:34Okay, well, he's not my lover
00:52:36I mean, you have been eye-fucking her all week, dude
00:52:39See?
00:52:40Whoa
00:52:41What about my sister?
00:52:43Let's not chill
00:52:44What are you talking about?
00:52:45She's engaged
00:52:49You knew?
00:52:52Charlie knew
00:52:54Hey, we're drunk
00:52:55Okay?
00:52:55Let's not talk about this right now
00:52:57You don't want to talk about
00:52:58How you hid your engagement from me
00:53:00For an entire weekend?
00:53:01You stopped
00:53:01How you put our phones in a kitchen drawer?
00:53:05Stop
00:53:05You're a psycho
00:53:06Hey, you're a fucking bitch
00:53:09Okay, this is just sad
00:53:10I can't dance here
00:53:12Same
00:53:12Friendship stuff is super triggering
00:53:14Yeah
00:53:23Okay
00:53:24I got another girl
00:53:25But it'll take her 45 minutes to get here
00:53:27Get out!
00:53:29You get out
00:53:32You're a pervert
00:53:34You filmed us
00:53:37Pervert
00:53:38Pervert
00:53:40Pervert
00:53:41Pervert
00:53:42Pervert
00:53:44Pervert
00:53:45You're creepy
00:53:46You don't treat guests this way
00:53:52Everywhere's closed, Delaney
00:53:54I'm talking to you
00:53:55Okay, but nowhere's open
00:53:56You don't know everything
00:54:04Oh, hello
00:54:07I'll have one pizza
00:54:10For one person
00:54:13I can go home
00:54:16He says it's gonna be five minutes
00:54:17So
00:54:18Didn't want to know what type of pizza?
00:54:20I always get pepperoni
00:54:22And they always know
00:54:23Yeah, I didn't hear a credit card number
00:54:26I'm paying cash for stuff
00:54:54Tommy took my charger into his room
00:54:56And
00:54:58I know, but
00:55:01Alright, well
00:55:01Kyle's also not exactly
00:55:03The most reliable narrator
00:55:07I can't
00:55:09Look, I'm gonna be home
00:55:10In a few hours
00:55:14No, I'm here
00:55:19No, my service is fine
00:55:20I'm gonna
00:55:20I'll be home in a few hours
00:55:22And then we can talk
00:55:32Okay
00:55:33Ready
00:55:33Great
00:55:35Four hours and 37 minutes
00:55:37To destination
00:55:41Mountaine
00:55:41At the end
00:55:42And there
00:55:42Gotta be
00:55:42John
00:55:42And there
00:55:43A here
00:55:43Thank
00:55:43Full
00:55:43Or
00:55:46There
00:55:46I
00:56:08Or
00:56:08Good
00:56:34Can you please talk about last night?
00:56:37About what?
00:56:40About all of it. I mean...
00:56:44Do you remember any of it?
00:56:46I know you can black out big chunks when you drink like that.
00:56:53I remember that you lied to me about getting engaged. I remember that.
00:56:58I tried to tell you that first night I had this whole thing planned.
00:57:02It's the whole reason we did the trip.
00:57:05You lied to me all weekend.
00:57:08No, I tried to tell you all weekend.
00:57:11Another lie. That's great.
00:57:13Why do you always lie? Honestly, you lie to me all the time.
00:57:16I'm not a liar. It's just really hard to be honest with you.
00:57:20I mean, you hate everything. You hate everyone.
00:57:23I don't hate everyone.
00:57:25Admit you hate John.
00:57:27Admit it! You've never liked him. You roll your eyes when you talk. You don't laugh at his jokes.
00:57:31I don't know why he's so sweet, but you have always hated him.
00:57:34I hate how boring he makes you.
00:57:35Boring?
00:57:36Why? Because I don't want to babysit your fucking benders.
00:57:38At least I'm not stuck in some sad routine.
00:57:41I'm not sad. I'm happy.
00:57:43You look happy.
00:57:45Why don't you call it? I'm serious. Why don't you leave the city?
00:57:49Go drown your personality in white wine with Gwen.
00:57:52That sounds better than staying here and wasting it with you one weekend at a time.
00:57:58Why don't you try caring about something?
00:58:01Why don't you try making a fucking effort?
00:58:06Why don't you grow up?
00:58:07I am growing up!
00:58:08You still do cocaine!
00:58:10Doing cocaine is fun, Katie!
00:58:11Okay. Yeah, well, maybe we're too different now.
00:58:17Yeah.
00:58:18Maybe we are.
00:58:26Get out.
00:58:33Hey, there she is.
00:58:35How you doing?
00:58:36You feeling okay?
00:58:37Yeah. Let's go out of the shower.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:44What?
00:58:54Got a guess?
00:58:55I think it's okay.
00:58:56I keep the hurt I'd rather feel
00:59:01And watch the shadow from my knees
00:59:12There were two pigs, okay, and they're in the same pit of mud.
00:59:16And the wife pig turns over to the husband pig, and she says, have you seen Farmer Joe's
00:59:20pants lately?
00:59:28Why would you cancel?
00:59:30The husband goes, oh, that's so funny, I thought he said pork chop.
00:59:43Thank you so much, everyone, for the next time.
00:59:54Oops, did a thing.
00:59:56Officially secured Series B Fundy for my startup.
01:00:02Anything posted that?
01:00:03What, uh, oh, oh, oh, um, Elon Musk.
01:00:10Uh, no, no, it's someone we know.
01:00:12Oh, oh, uh, um, I give up.
01:00:18Uh, okay, um, no, it was Diane's date from, uh, New Year's.
01:00:24No, I don't, I don't even think I've met her.
01:00:26Oh, is she friends with Delaney?
01:00:28Speaking of which, is Delaney coming to dinner this weekend?
01:00:32I don't think so.
01:00:35Why?
01:00:36Well, we're gonna fight.
01:00:38The two of you are fighting?
01:00:40Yeah.
01:00:40That's maybe never happened in the history of the world.
01:00:44What happened?
01:00:44Um, it's very dumb.
01:00:46It was about the engagement.
01:00:48Oh.
01:00:50I, so I never actually told her.
01:00:52She found out on my phone and went ballistic and got wasted.
01:00:56Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean you didn't, you didn't tell her that?
01:00:58I mean, remember I tried and you called, so I couldn't really.
01:01:01And then I tried later that night and it got extremely weird.
01:01:03No, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't do that.
01:01:06I let you wait until the perfect moment to tell her how you wanted to tell her.
01:01:12And you said you would do that on the trip.
01:01:13You told me you would handle that on the trip so we could start planning our wedding.
01:01:17I mean, you're a little obsessed with planning the wedding.
01:01:19Well, yeah, I want to celebrate our marriage with our family and our friends.
01:01:23No offense, I, I don't think you really get it.
01:01:25You know, I don't think you get me and Delaney exactly.
01:01:27I don't think you could.
01:01:28See, how do you, how do you say that?
01:01:30I've been nothing but accommodating to you and your friend.
01:01:34She has a drawer in our dresser.
01:01:36You said that was fun.
01:01:36It was, it is.
01:01:40But I just want to know when you're going to choose us, right?
01:01:44When, when you will stop bending our lives together for Delaney.
01:01:48It's not just Delaney.
01:01:50Hold on, no, no, no, no, what do you, what do you, what do you mean?
01:01:54You know, marriage can really change your life.
01:01:56And, and a lot of times it's for the better, which I think will be, you know, our case.
01:02:00And I'm very excited, of course, but there's just a lot of changes.
01:02:04Like, for example, you know, eventually we will probably want to move out of the city and that's fine.
01:02:08And I'm, you know, we'll do that for you.
01:02:10And you go out there and then all of a sudden all your friends are married couples that moved out
01:02:15there too.
01:02:16And, and nobody knew you before you were a married couple.
01:02:18So it's actually a bit like you didn't exist before you were part of a married couple.
01:02:22So that's the new you.
01:02:23I'm just going to, I'm just going to stop you.
01:02:25I don't even know what to believe at all.
01:02:29John!
01:02:34So, anyways, popcorn to Delaney.
01:02:37I didn't have any peaks this week.
01:02:41Well, a week of valleys finds time in our cal eventually.
01:02:45Everything okay?
01:02:46Yeah, it's, everything's okay.
01:02:49Delaney, we're here if you ever want to share, obviously, but you seem to hate peaks and valleys, so.
01:02:54I don't hate peaks and valleys.
01:02:56Really?
01:02:57Once you thought you were muted and you screamed fuck when we started playing the game.
01:03:02Okay, fine.
01:03:03Um, my valley was, my best friend lied to me about getting engaged.
01:03:16What?
01:03:18Wow.
01:03:19Wow, that is a deep valley.
01:03:22Very deep.
01:03:23Okay, let's dive into this.
01:03:26Let's dive into this.
01:03:27Come on, we're here for you.
01:03:30Wow, your hair, I always picture.
01:03:33I pictured you as a blonde.
01:03:35Look at you!
01:03:37Okay, so wait, tell me everything.
01:03:38Who is this fiance?
01:03:39What's his name?
01:03:41John.
01:03:42Where's John from?
01:03:44Yep, John.
01:03:46The Midwest.
01:03:47What state?
01:03:48Minneapolis.
01:03:51Michigan or Minnesota.
01:03:53It's an M, I just, I can't remember right now.
01:03:56You seem like you must hate him.
01:03:58I don't hate him.
01:04:00I don't hate John.
01:04:01That's very nice.
01:04:02Since you're best friends, you're trying to be nice.
01:04:03But, like, what did he do?
01:04:04He obviously cheated.
01:04:06He obviously cheated.
01:04:07He did cheat.
01:04:08Alex, he cheated.
01:04:09John did not cheat.
01:04:10John's not a cheater.
01:04:11He's totally obsessed with her.
01:04:15But too obsessed, probably.
01:04:18No.
01:04:19No.
01:04:20Oh, no.
01:04:20To where it's, like, true crime.
01:04:23No.
01:04:25He treats her really well.
01:04:26He's a very good guy.
01:04:28So he treats her well?
01:04:32Yeah, he treats her well.
01:04:35Wait, and she, is she, like, happy with him?
01:04:41Yeah.
01:04:44Okay, wait.
01:04:45Sorry for the disconnect here, but what's the problem?
01:04:49And the toy guy said that that's the most popular thing he sells.
01:04:52Yeah, no, the kids wanted one of these.
01:04:54I just got them a new globe, but never enough.
01:04:58So, where's John?
01:04:59His, uh, work thing.
01:05:01Oh, did he decide if he wanted the chicken or lamb skewers for the cocktail hour?
01:05:05Shoot.
01:05:05Uh, I'll ask him.
01:05:06I'm not sure.
01:05:07If you get that thing wet, it turns blue.
01:05:10So he's rehabbing brittle hips after sundown?
01:05:13He's really burning the midnight oil.
01:05:16And, um, if you wanted to go back to red again, you just put it in the sun.
01:05:20Is there trouble in paradise?
01:05:23You can't hide from an empath, little sister.
01:05:27Um, Delaney and I got into a fight, and now John and I are in a bit of a fight
01:05:34about that fight.
01:05:35Of course.
01:05:36No, no, no.
01:05:36We all saw this coming.
01:05:38You know, you guys are emotionally stunted.
01:05:41Daria says you both have arrested development.
01:05:43I never said that.
01:05:44I'm sorry, you just happened to leave your notebook open to a page that said never individuated into adulthood.
01:05:48Did you find the key to my office again?
01:05:50It doesn't matter.
01:05:50Look, the medical fact is you guys are basically still kids who are clinging on to each other in the
01:05:55cafeteria of life.
01:05:56You're emotionally stunted.
01:06:00Oh, that's a very mature response, Katie.
01:06:02Do you see what I'm saying?
01:06:04You're stunted.
01:06:05This is so rich coming from you.
01:06:07Look, I'm sorry.
01:06:08I really hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but it might actually be time for
01:06:12you to grow up.
01:06:13We have all had to.
01:06:15Did we?
01:06:16I mean, did we all have to?
01:06:17You're like 40 years old, and you still blame everything on our parents.
01:06:20You're emotionally stunted, not me.
01:06:22Tell him, Daria.
01:06:23No, no, no, Daria.
01:06:24Tell her that she's narcissistic like Dad.
01:06:25Do you know that the DSM-5 defines narcissism as a personality disorder, right, Daria?
01:06:30A cluster B personality disorder, which I think we can both agree you have.
01:06:34I have a personality disorder?
01:06:36Yeah, obviously.
01:06:36Oh my God, you're delusional.
01:06:37You're literally medically delusional.
01:06:40You're certifiable.
01:06:41Daria, tell him.
01:06:42You have every symptom.
01:06:43Tell him.
01:06:43Tell him.
01:06:44He's literally-
01:06:44Shut up!
01:06:45Just shut the fuck up!
01:06:51Today I listened to a man detail an intense reptilian fetish that's ruining his marriage.
01:06:58And I had to tell him, no, that's not weird.
01:07:01Do you want an iguana to act as a third?
01:07:05A girl ate rocks in front of me.
01:07:09And I had to tell a mother who told me that she lost her pregnancy.
01:07:14I had to promise her that she would get over it one day.
01:07:19Do you guys want a medical diagnosis?
01:07:23You are both ungrateful shits!
01:07:37I can't believe she said all that stuff about her patients.
01:07:42I mean, isn't that supposed to be, like, really private?
01:07:46Okay.
01:07:48I know we didn't have the ideal childhood.
01:07:53But you cannot keep using it as an excuse.
01:07:57I mean, come on.
01:07:59Can you be the adult for once?
01:08:03Can you help me for once?
01:08:07Things are going to be okay with John.
01:08:12I don't know, actually.
01:08:15Yeah, he's...
01:08:17He's really mad.
01:08:18People get mad, Katie.
01:08:21It's part of life, and it's going to be a long road if you walk around trying to make everything
01:08:26nice for everybody all the time.
01:08:27You've got to be honest.
01:08:30I know what Delaney means to you.
01:08:34And I know how much she was there for you when you were kids.
01:08:36And yes, I maybe thought that you were freaks.
01:08:40But what you had was special.
01:08:43You guys had a great run.
01:08:48So maybe it's okay that it's over.
01:08:52Sometimes the past can't last.
01:08:57Pass me to my pillow journal.
01:08:59Hurry up.
01:09:01Quick, quick, quick, quick.
01:09:04Okay, I made a guest list.
01:09:06Pretty much everyone who's coming is cool except for, like, one other assistant from my office.
01:09:10Have I shown you her grid before?
01:09:12She posts so much emo shit.
01:09:15It's like, we get that you have cancer.
01:09:17Maybe she wants support.
01:09:19What?
01:09:21We're seeing it helps other people.
01:09:24Oh, it doesn't help me.
01:09:25I meant other sick people.
01:09:28Right.
01:09:29Wait, how much do we hate Katie?
01:09:31Like, we haven't talked about this at all.
01:09:33Yeah.
01:09:34What she did wasn't great.
01:09:37You know what I always say.
01:09:39Hate motivates.
01:09:41Liking stuff I can motivate, too.
01:09:43No, liking stuff is for sheep.
01:09:46Plus, hating stuff is, like, our thing.
01:09:48We both know the whole world sucks.
01:09:50The whole world sucks?
01:09:52Yeah.
01:10:01I think I need to leave.
01:10:03I mean, same.
01:10:04This place is a shithole.
01:10:05Like, it's obviously a temporary situation.
01:10:08No.
01:10:09I just don't want to be around you anymore.
01:10:14I hate that we love to hate people.
01:10:17It makes me feel sick.
01:10:20And I want to feel good.
01:10:23I want to be happy.
01:10:25I want to be happy for other people.
01:10:26I want to be happy for my family.
01:10:28I want to be happy for my friends.
01:10:33But I don't know how to do that.
01:10:35I don't know how to be happy for people.
01:10:46Did you, like, write that in your notes app to say to me?
01:10:48That's so fucking lame, Delaney.
01:10:53Okay.
01:10:54Bye.
01:10:58Just keep breathing.
01:11:02Delaney.
01:11:08Delaney.
01:11:10Hi.
01:11:11What happened?
01:11:12Is everyone okay?
01:11:14What?
01:11:14Yeah.
01:11:18Then, um, why are you here?
01:11:25Where are you from?
01:11:29Uh, Illinois.
01:11:34I knew that.
01:11:38Did you like it there in Illinois?
01:11:42Do you mind?
01:11:44Sure.
01:11:47Ozzy.
01:11:51What's this?
01:11:53Yeah.
01:11:55Um.
01:11:57Yeah, I lived in Illinois pretty much my whole life.
01:12:01High school.
01:12:02College.
01:12:03Go Phoenixes.
01:12:05It was our college mascot.
01:12:07Yeah, my whole family went there.
01:12:08And I am so sorry that I didn't tell you that I was going to propose to Katie.
01:12:15It's okay.
01:12:18Probably made you hate me even more.
01:12:19I never hated you.
01:12:22I hated you existed.
01:12:26That was, I...
01:12:27Right.
01:12:30You never did anything wrong.
01:12:34I did everything to make it incredibly weird for you.
01:12:40And I'm really sorry.
01:12:47I'm really happy it's you.
01:12:53I will, uh, let you go back to work.
01:12:55Yeah, yeah.
01:12:58We're actually in a fight.
01:13:01Um.
01:13:02She lied to me about telling you.
01:13:04And I just don't understand why she can't be honest with me.
01:13:10I don't know.
01:13:14Maybe she's afraid of losing us.
01:13:18Or maybe it's...
01:13:21Trying to protect us.
01:13:23You really don't know.
01:13:27I do know that...
01:13:32Getting older is...
01:13:35Really scary.
01:13:43I'm not paying for this.
01:13:46I got his card on file.
01:13:50Oh, can we talk?
01:13:53I mean, what are we doing?
01:13:54I, I, I can't take more silent treatment.
01:14:00That's my client, Jerry.
01:14:04Uh, uh, yeah, I know Jerry.
01:14:07Do you know his wife, Marlene?
01:14:10You know, they've been married for years.
01:14:12Lived in four states.
01:14:14Three countries.
01:14:16They got divorced.
01:14:18Got back together.
01:14:20Lived in next door houses.
01:14:22Just for their own space.
01:14:25Until they built this place.
01:14:28Together.
01:14:31I don't know what the rest of our lives will look like.
01:14:34But it can be whatever we want it to be.
01:14:37I love you.
01:14:39I love you.
01:14:39I love you, too.
01:14:41I'm sorry.
01:14:42I'm sorry.
01:14:44I'm sorry I lied.
01:14:48And I'm gonna do better.
01:14:50I know.
01:14:51I know.
01:14:52She told me.
01:14:53Who?
01:14:55Delaney.
01:14:57Um, when, when did you see Delaney?
01:15:00Delaney.
01:15:01Today.
01:15:02She came by the office.
01:15:04Why?
01:15:05She's like, what?
01:15:07Like returning the stuff I had in her apartment?
01:15:09Or...
01:15:12She...
01:15:12wanted to know where I was from.
01:15:17Yeah.
01:15:22Actually...
01:15:25Go get your girl.
01:15:29Go on.
01:15:30Yeah.
01:15:31Yeah.
01:15:35Open up your gate.
01:15:37There you go.
01:15:45Go on.
01:15:51Go on.
01:15:55Go.
01:16:00Go on.
01:16:04Go.
01:16:06asc™ operation.
01:16:08Go on.
01:16:12Katie, no, there's a list, and you're not the aesthetic.
01:16:15And honestly, even if you were, there's already a Jennifer here,
01:16:18and you can't, like, have a Jennifer and a Katie, you know?
01:16:20Yeah, okay.
01:16:21Um, Roxy, I know you think I'm lame,
01:16:24but I know that you're miserable, and that's why you're so mean.
01:16:28But I feel bad for you.
01:16:30Okay?
01:16:33Yeah.
01:16:34Same.
01:16:35Yeah.
01:16:36Uh, where's Delaney?
01:16:37Delaney, where do you think?
01:16:39Fuck.
01:16:44Occupied.
01:16:46Occupied.
01:16:46Delaney, drop the drugs.
01:16:48I said occupied.
01:16:53So I was gonna...
01:16:54Sorry, can I go first?
01:16:56Because I'm feeling brave, and that might go away.
01:17:01What?
01:17:08I look at you, and I feel like we are still 12 years old.
01:17:13And I really love that.
01:17:16But we're not 12 years old anymore.
01:17:20And we can't spend every second together anymore.
01:17:26And we don't like all the same things anymore, as much as I try to fight that.
01:17:32And I want to get married.
01:17:35And I want to have kids.
01:17:38And I want to save pictures of bathroom renovations I like.
01:17:45And I want to make little dishes for my keys.
01:17:49And I want to move out of the city.
01:17:50And I know you don't want that stuff.
01:17:52You don't even like that stuff.
01:17:55Actually, and...
01:17:56You don't even really like people who do.
01:18:00Just scary.
01:18:06And I didn't tell you about the engagement, because I was afraid you wouldn't be happy for me.
01:18:12And that would just break my heart beyond repair.
01:18:18And I'm so happy about this next chapter of my life.
01:18:21But I'm terrified that you don't want to be a part of it.
01:18:27And I know I really messed up by lying.
01:18:31And I'm really, really sorry.
01:18:35And if things are different now, I understand.
01:18:40And if we end up parting ways.
01:18:43I just wanted to say thank you.
01:18:51Being your best friend has just been the highlight of my life.
01:18:59And I think we're really lucky to have lasted as long as we did.
01:19:19Well, it's not every day your kid's sister gets married.
01:19:22I'm incredibly honored to be here.
01:19:24And I was asked to put a couple words together.
01:19:27And to try to capture the spirit of marriage.
01:19:30And what it means to our civilization.
01:19:34And particularly what it means to these two very special people.
01:19:38So, I've done my best.
01:19:40And I think you'll agree.
01:19:45Love's passion.
01:19:48Always in fashion.
01:19:50French kissing.
01:19:52Sad to be missing.
01:19:54Willows swaying.
01:19:57Children playing.
01:19:59Love will find a way.
01:20:03Today.
01:20:05Forevermore.
01:20:07Into Dawn, Katie, and John.
01:20:12You have truly won
01:20:15the game.
01:20:31Thank you for that beautiful poem, Henry.
01:20:34Thank you for that beautiful poem, Henry.
01:20:56This is so crazy you spend more time with, like, a hairdresser than you do with, like, your best friends.
01:21:02One hundred percent.
01:21:04My eyebrow woman is, is, is closer to me.
01:21:06I text her.
01:21:07We're on texting basis.
01:21:08Yeah.
01:21:08Girl, I got what you desire, yeah.
01:21:16I got a love key to light your fire, oh, girl.
01:21:24And then, you know, it's really fun just to, like, sleep, right?
01:21:30To be in bed for a full 24 hours.
01:21:34People say that's depression.
01:21:36I say that's a luxury.
01:21:37Exactly.
01:21:38Yeah.
01:21:38A hundred percent.
01:21:38A hundred percent.
01:22:02Kind of depressing.
01:22:05It is.
01:22:06well that's that's that's what they tell you at school you never listen you know but like you're
01:22:11like that won't be me i'm fostering a bass and ham this week i know i'm so running around
01:22:29i need it i honestly i cannot even stand it i need it here
01:22:36i'll say
01:22:37you're forever mine
Comments