- 14 hours ago
Late Bloomer S03E01-2 (2026)
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:01Tramatic for you, but like, you know.
00:03Tramatic, but like, cool, like, this is a good story to tell.
00:05Absolutely, this is what it's for.
00:08This is all for this moment.
00:10Everything let us hear.
00:11That's incredible.
00:12How crazy is that?
00:13I'll be right back.
00:58I'll be right back.
01:20I'll be right back.
01:30I'll be right back.
01:32I'll be right back.
02:31I'll be right back.
02:44I'll be right back.
03:07Are you tired of bringing regular seltzers?
03:21Oh, my trip was amazing.
03:25I'll be right back.
03:31I'll be right back.
03:48Oh, yeah.
03:48Oh, yeah.
04:32I'll be right back.
04:32I'll be right back.
04:32I'll be right back.
05:02I'll be right back.
05:04I'll be right back.
05:05I'll be right back.
05:32I'll be right back.
05:51I'll be right back.
05:58I'll be right back.
06:02I'll be right back.
06:53I'll be right back.
07:25I'll be right back.
07:35I'll be right back.
07:39I'll be right back.
07:55I'll be right back.
07:57I'll be right back.
08:00I'll be right back.
08:25I'll be right back.
08:32I'll be right back.
08:36Let's have some fun.
08:37Fun?
08:38What do you think?
08:59I'll be right back.
09:00I'll be right back.
09:00Then we'll be right back.
09:02I'll be right back.
09:03I'll be right back.
09:03Bye-bye.
09:12What do you want to do?
09:14The light will be very beautiful.
09:17Let's do it.
09:17Let's do it.
09:18Let's do it.
09:20My son.
09:22My son.
09:25I love you.
09:30What do you want to do?
09:32Now we are really having fun.
09:38Fucking blockchain technology, right?
09:40Think about it like this.
09:41Because it's so fucking secure,
09:43the government's all these fucking agents
09:45are trying to get it to your fucking account.
09:47They can't.
09:48Because the encryption.
09:49Right?
09:50So what you want to fucking do
09:51to create generational wealth?
09:52Right?
09:54Fucking buy at the bottom.
09:55You buy Gooch coin.
09:57Crazy fucking investment.
09:58I'm telling you, it's fucking sick.
10:00Gotta fucking get into it.
10:01Sorry for swearing.
10:02I'm fucking excited about fucking crypto.
10:05It's sick.
10:05Yo, Jazzy, it's world, bro.
10:07What's good, bro?
10:08You haven't posted something like a month, bro.
10:10I just posted it only two weeks ago.
10:11Nah, nah, but you have to post something good.
10:13You know what I'm saying?
10:13Like the streets are waiting, my G.
10:15Yo, you seen this Prem guy?
10:18Yo, post some good stuff.
10:19Might even take your spot if you don't get on it, bro.
10:22Yo, plug your phone real quick.
10:23I'll show you, I'll show you.
10:24Yeah, yeah.
10:24Search up P-R-E-M, Prem Prem.
10:26Yeah, yeah.
10:27That one right there.
10:28Yo, watch that one.
10:28And hell yeah, I want extra mozzarella on that pizza.
10:33Yo, tell him the room.
10:34Yo, this has 3 million views that he just posted yesterday.
10:38Hey guys, I know we all like to have fun, but it is important to celebrate our differences
10:42because frame means love.
10:45Frame out.
10:47Oh, yo.
10:50Shit, man's getting swerved now, eh?
10:53Yo, yo, let's watch that one though.
10:54Right there.
10:55I'm gonna teach you how to make the most amazing bookalicious routine.
10:58Baby, stop looking at me.
11:01I'm gonna make it like that.
11:02Hey, yo.
11:03Yo, everyone, listen.
11:05Listen up.
11:06Can I have your attention, please?
11:08First of all, thank you all for showing up tonight.
11:12Big thank you to Mummy G for the pakorde.
11:15And shout out Neil, who ate two trays.
11:20Last but not least, give it up for my man, Jusmeet.
11:29Yo, Jusmeet, where you at?
11:31Come on out.
11:33Jusmeet.
11:36Yo, Jusmeet.
11:38Jusmeet.
11:39Jusmeet.
11:39Oh, that guy?
11:40He left.
11:42Left?
11:42What do you mean left?
11:43I don't know.
11:43He got swerved by some Rebecca chick and dip.
11:46Yeah, he looked pretty depressed.
11:48You guys might want to check the local bridges, water towers, nearest tall building, maybe.
11:53Going straight to Boyceville.
11:54This car's still here.
11:55Where the fuck is he?
11:56I checked the pool house.
11:57Nothing.
11:57I went to the neighbors.
11:58They don't even know who he is.
11:59Why would the neighbors know who he is?
12:01Okay, let's roll out.
12:02Wait, wait, wait.
12:03None of us should be driving.
12:04I'm tipsy as fuck.
12:05Wait.
12:07Who the fuck are you two?
12:08Get the fuck away from my car.
12:09Who invited you?
12:11Oh, we could take my bike.
12:13What?
12:14Or your neighbor's helicopter.
12:16You don't have to fly a fucking helicopter.
12:17Yes, I do, bro.
12:19It's, um...
12:20It's X to go up and then...
12:22Right, of course.
12:23Circle to go down.
12:24Uh-huh.
12:25R1 is shoot, so don't fucking press R1.
12:27Are you fucking for real?
12:29First of all, both of you fucking relax.
12:31Yeah, it's super relaxing getting in a car with a drunken idiot.
12:34I'm a really good driver when I'm drunk.
12:36Because I know I'm drunk, I'm actually way more focused on the road.
12:40What?
12:40I mean, you could say I'm a better driver drunk than I ever am sober.
12:45That makes sense to me.
12:46I can't believe your dumb faces are the last thing I'm gonna see.
12:48Sonny!
12:49Get out.
12:50I'll be doing car saver.
12:51Bro, where the fuck did you come from?
12:53I was taking a piss in the woods.
12:55We have washrooms in the house.
12:56You fucking did not need to do coke in the bathroom.
12:58And I'm fucking wrong.
12:59Get the fuck out.
13:00You're fucking ugly, bro.
13:01Look how fucking drunk you are.
13:02Bro, what are you guys saying?
13:03What's up?
13:03Why you fucking letting him drive, bro?
13:05Look how fucking raped he is, bro.
13:06I drive better drunk.
13:07Trust me.
13:08Alright, where are we going?
13:09Oh, maybe he's emo eating at the spot.
13:11Let's fucking roll.
13:16So, uh, therapy.
13:17How's that going?
13:18I don't know.
13:19It's a lot.
13:20I kinda lost myself after the whole Hummer thing.
13:23I don't know why I attract the guys that I attract.
13:26It's probably your son.
13:27Yo!
13:27No sign of your speed.
13:29I don't even think he came here.
13:30But I did grab hella shit.
13:32Chili chicken.
13:33Hakka chow mein.
13:34Ginger fish.
13:35You guys are chili panier too, right?
13:36I'm vegetarian.
13:38Shit.
13:38I'll be right back.
13:39No, Sonny.
13:40You already took forever.
13:41We gotta go.
13:42What do you want from me?
13:43He's hungry.
13:43Yo, Sonny.
13:44Chill.
13:45Sonny.
13:47Great.
13:48No one's here.
13:48He goes to the lake to clear his head.
13:50I don't know.
13:51You guys mind if I smoke a joint?
13:52Absolutely not.
13:53There's only one way of consuming thong, bro.
13:56That's too fucking raga na.
13:57Think about it.
13:57You gotta be on the battlefield proper like a warrior standing there.
14:00Yo!
14:01What the fuck did I say?
14:05Sorry, sorry, sorry.
14:06Canjara?
14:07Wait.
14:08You don't think that he pulled up to...
14:11No.
14:13No, he wouldn't.
14:15Wait.
14:16Did he have...
14:18Wait.
14:32Did he have...
14:33Oh!
14:34So...
14:35Is it just you two in the house today?
14:38Haha.
14:39Nice.
14:40Nice.
14:41Well, so no one else.
14:42Nobody at all.
14:44I know Manvi's away on vacation, but I know you two have a lot of family.
14:49People coming by.
14:50You know.
14:51Did anyone come by?
14:51Maybe they came through the basement or the back door is sometimes open.
14:56Sometimes people get old and they look different.
14:59Strange relatives.
14:59Anyone?
15:00Anyone?
15:01Okay.
15:02What is this all, Tamasha?
15:04What she's trying to ask badly.
15:06Did just me come by?
15:07Why?
15:08Is he okay?
15:09Did you call him?
15:10Yeah.
15:10No, no.
15:10No, Auntie.
15:11He's fine.
15:12He's just...
15:12He's not picking up his phone.
15:14Why would he not pick up your calls?
15:16Did something happen?
15:17No, no, no, no, no.
15:18He was just with us earlier, but he...
15:20He...
15:22Forgot something at home and went to go pick it up.
15:25So maybe we thought he meant this home.
15:30He's going to go.
15:39He's going to go...
15:48I'm just going to go.
15:53He's going to go.
16:21Hello?
16:23Hello?
16:28hello is everything okay
16:33you all right
16:40oh hey man just breathe wait wait what are you doing here is this real are you are you real
16:51yeah i'm real what are you doing here are you living in your car
17:05you see that house down the street
17:10that was the house man the house that mia bought me we're supposed to move into before
17:24now it's just standing there unfinished just like my hopes and dreams
17:32okay you can still finish the house man you can move in yourself
17:37you think i have money like that anymore you think i'm not losing bidding war to chat gpt
17:44us realtors we're washed man do you know how that feels mr dollar of view
17:52look man
17:55i got my heart broken too
17:57and what's worse is she's back with her ex
18:01and she's engaged
18:04it sucks man i know it's weird how fast things change it's tough to keep up
18:10like how am i supposed to stay relevant with any of this when
18:14everyone's an influencer just pumping out a bunch of nothing
18:17i feel washed
18:21but i just breathe for it all
18:24had a plan
18:28marriage
18:28kids
18:29run for mayor brampton
18:31kids
18:32hit a million followers and more kids
18:34yeah look
18:36sometimes you don't need a plan
18:38okay sometimes you just
18:39need to leave some things unfinished like your house
18:45look man
18:46you're a smart guy all right
18:48and as much as i hate to admit it
18:49there's been so many times i wanted to be like you
18:53but this
18:54just sitting here crying about something that could have been
18:57it's pathetic
18:59so get up off your ass
19:00and stop moping around like a little bitch
19:10oh shit
19:11just realize something
19:13you're a brother
19:15my brother
19:16you can bring manvi back to me
19:19oh
19:20yeah
19:20what
19:21yeah you can convince her that i'm the best she'll ever have
19:25yeah
19:26you can have my house man
19:27i'll even finish the floor for you
19:30where's my
19:31where's my key
19:32you can have my whip man
19:33you can have my keys
19:34take it all
19:35just please man
19:36just bring her back to me
19:37i don't know what to do
19:38i can't sleep
19:40where's my whip
19:41i thought we were bros man
19:45just bring her back to me
19:47i really can't get mad
19:51i can't do anything
19:52i can't think about anything
20:12everything okay mpj?
20:14yes
20:14i'm glad you all are here
20:16it's nice to have the house full
20:22oh he's at his spot
20:23who?
20:24just me
20:25i have his location
20:27are you dumb?
20:29why didn't you mention this before?
20:30because my phone was dead
20:31i have a charger in my car
20:33cars can charge phones?
20:34that's incredible
20:35you know what
20:36just forget it
20:37let's make moves
20:39yeah
20:39bye auntie
20:40neil hold on one minute please
20:43uncle
20:45there's such a hot picture
20:46of young guru nanak
20:48so handsome
20:50either way
20:51you shouldn't have pictures
20:51of gurus in your home
20:52it's wrong
20:54tell him
20:55i love you
20:56love you
20:56love you
20:57also
20:57invest in gucci coin
21:00here
21:01give this to jasmine
21:02you'll be seeing him
21:03before i do
21:04okay
21:04okay gucci
21:11stupid
21:17hey
21:18there's waldo
21:20guru waldo
21:22we called you like a million fucking times
21:23fyi
21:24where the hell were you man
21:25we've been ripping it up and down
21:26so i got a scarves
21:28yeah
21:28look sorry i just
21:30i needed some space
21:31yo how do you keep letting this girl run laps
21:33in your head
21:34you know
21:34you could just talk to us instead of running off
21:36i know
21:38you're still not over it
21:39this guy's never gonna get over it
21:41he needs a chapeer to cross the face
21:43johnny don't be so judgmental
21:44what are you talking about
21:44brown trauma's a real thing
21:45what trauma
21:46what trauma
21:46take some time
21:47see how these things take
21:48here
21:49yeah
21:54come over
21:58holy
21:58can't fuck parking for hell this city
22:00it's your place eh
22:03no pictures of the gurus eh
22:05that's a shame
22:06what the hell is he doing here
22:08buddy are you fucked
22:09if it wasn't for me these drunk idiots wouldn't get here alive
22:11alright
22:12well thanks i guess
22:17look guys i'm
22:21i appreciate you
22:22i just want you to know that
22:24i appreciate you
22:24when you
22:25tolerate me
22:26going through all my
22:28dumb
22:29emo
22:29depresso
22:31lopey phases
22:33and
22:34still sticking by me
22:37so
22:37thank you
22:39thank you for
22:40the gifts
22:42thank you for the party
22:44thank you for just
22:44keeping me in check
22:47thank you for
22:48just everything that
22:49you do
22:50for me
22:52i love you guys
22:54i love you
22:55come on
22:57come on
22:58i love you guys so much
23:00oh boy
23:00we've known each other for so long
23:02yeah
23:03may our bonds
23:03remain
23:04together
23:05okay
23:25excuse me
23:34hello
23:36hanji biji sasri kaal
23:40nahi
23:41tu sii manu dasya hi nahi
23:43nahi
23:43tu sii manu dasya hi nahi
23:44nahi
23:44noo jiktene nevi ni dasya
23:47okay okay
23:48jiktene nukaryo menu flight the information pei
23:51okay
23:52okay
23:53okay
23:53okay
23:54okay
23:56biji bodvar moa aare
24:06kuli shutti ya
24:08one way take it
24:09will it be enough to sway the seals
24:11we'll find out right after this
24:13on seal the deal
24:15all right
24:16thank you so much for coming
24:17appreciate you
24:18thank you
24:19this has been an incredible birthday
24:21okay
24:21all right
24:23house isn't trash
24:26yo
24:27bye
24:27love you
24:28love you
24:29um
24:30your mom
24:32asked me to do this
24:36nice
24:36thanks
24:37got it
24:38love you
24:38bye man
24:39happy birthday
24:40thank you bro
24:42can i uh
24:43sleep here
24:44sure
24:46hell yeah
24:48see you in the morning
24:49yup
24:54i
25:21Hello?
25:23Hello?
25:24Hello?
25:28Yeah.
25:28No, I'm a good mom.
25:30Yeah.
25:33Yeah, I miss you too.
25:37I tried picking it up but I couldn't.
25:39She grew that much overnight.
25:40Lose my fucking mind.
25:42Wait, which daughter is this again?
25:43One of the middle ones?
25:45Anyways, how are things at home?
25:47Yeah, you know, dad's away so, it's no me doing everything.
25:52What about your new girl?
25:53Uh, she got messy.
25:55So I think I'm gonna be single for a while probably.
25:58You know what?
25:59You do you.
26:01Oh shit, I totally forgot I have therapy in 10.
26:04I gotta go, sonny.
26:06Yo, you can use one of my spare offices.
26:07I mean, the Wi-Fi is shit because these guys watch cracked out.
26:11They see reels all day but it should hold.
26:13Really?
26:14Yeah, yeah, it's right there.
26:16Okay, thanks.
26:16I'll be quick.
26:17Yeah, no problem.
26:22Shinta!
26:23Yo, Shinta!
26:24Come on, I'm back to work.
26:28I'll check the reels.
26:29It's very funny, man.
26:30You don't have time, man.
26:32Load it in the fucking truck.
26:34Go!
26:35Oh, he ain't the car he got here.
26:37Little back problems.
26:39A little break.
26:40Okay.
26:41I'm going to break you.
26:42If you drive the truck, you drive the truck.
26:44Yeah.
26:53Okay.
26:55Good to go.
27:00I guess we're good to fucking go, man.
27:01Let's grab the seats and let's roll out.
27:02Go where, bro?
27:03The engine's literally on the ground.
27:05Does anybody know how to put this together?
27:07Is it all-wheel drive?
27:08Yeah.
27:09No, I don't know how.
27:11Fuck!
27:11We're going to be late as fuck, man.
27:12Fuck!
27:13I told you we should have flown, man.
27:15Fuck!
27:17Okay, you know what?
27:19I know what to call.
27:23Yo, son.
27:26Yeah, what's up?
27:28Yeah, man.
27:31Hey, how come you don't look like a vampire anymore?
27:34Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.
27:37This is all that's left.
27:45Yes, babe.
27:47I told you I was going away this weekend.
27:49Right before we left.
27:52How else am I supposed to make money?
27:54Just get Mom to watch him.
27:56Holy fuck.
27:57Relax.
27:58You always do this shit.
27:59Fuck, man.
28:01Hey.
28:04You got a lot of anger in here.
28:05I can hold space if you want.
28:07This book says that feelings need to be birthed and pushed out of your emotional cervix.
28:11What are you talking about?
28:12All right, good news.
28:13It's got full, sonny.
28:14He's got a guy coming through the border.
28:15He just hit your ride with him.
28:17Nice.
28:18Probably take the car, too.
28:19Sick.
28:22No way, man.
28:23Bye, bye, bye, bye, buddy.
28:26Everything looks good.
28:27You guys are good to go.
28:28Here we go.
28:28You guys have a safe trip, okay?
28:30Take care.
28:32Nice car, by the way.
28:33Fucking white people.
28:36So why do you feel like you got into that relationship?
28:40I don't know.
28:40I just...
28:40I don't...
28:42I don't even know how I ended up with a guy like Umair.
28:44It was nice to be taken care of.
28:46I'm used to being the one who takes care of everyone else.
28:48Especially at home.
28:50Take care of my mom and my younger sisters.
28:52My dad was always on the road growing up, so I didn't really have a choice.
28:55Well, because you're the eldest, right?
28:58Oftentimes, the eldest child picks up the slack when the parents are lacking.
29:02But I feel stupid for having Mr. Red Flags with him.
29:05That's just not me.
29:08Anyways, this is why I'm only going to date women from now.
29:11But the most recent time felt kind of boring, I guess. I don't know.
29:15Tell me, Chippy.
29:17Are you looking for relationships to feel dramatic?
29:20Look, whomever you choose to date, it seems like you need to get to the root cause of why you
29:24attract these dynamics.
29:28What do you mean?
29:30Well...
29:30It just means being accountable for your parents.
29:32My, me, I'm the victim.
29:35He's the one who needs to be held accountable.
29:36Him and all the other men.
29:38Fuck the fuck!
29:39All right, that's fucking it.
29:41Shut the fuck up!
29:43I'm already fucking pissed for being gaslit in therapy!
29:45Don't a lot of fucks have anything else to do?
29:47Holy shit!
29:49Sorry, ma'am. Sorry.
29:51For fuck's sake.
29:57What were you saying again?
29:59You know, maybe we should just switch gears a little bit.
30:03And talk about the anger.
30:05What anger?
30:06Okay, they have this place called Guns and Buns.
30:09You can get a gun and a burger.
30:11I think this is our truck.
30:17Oh, shit!
30:19Tiljod!
30:19Come on in, bro!
30:20What's up?
30:21Oh, this is my cousin Jasmeet.
30:23How are you?
30:23How are you?
30:24How are you?
30:25And this is his...
30:26This is his Navi.
30:28How are you?
30:28How are you?
30:29How are you?
30:29How are you?
30:30How are you?
30:31Bro, thank you so much for taking us now.
30:33Of course! Of course!
30:34How are you?
30:36All you Canadian ones say bro a lot.
30:38Yo, bro.
30:39Got it, bro.
30:40A hemorrhage, bro.
30:41This thing, bro.
30:43All right, we're basically just saying Paji.
30:45If you think about it, our bro to Paji ratio is the exact same.
30:49Paji this, Paji that, Paji oh, Chaka Paji eh, Chaka Paji.
30:52Paji, bro, bro, Paji.
30:53Paji, bro, bro, Paji.
30:54There's literally no difference, man.
30:56We all have that inner drive to say that word.
31:01So you nervous to host it?
31:03Uh, not really nervous.
31:06I've done so many of these, it's like clockwork.
31:08Too many at this point.
31:11Come on, bro.
31:11Oh, a gig's a gig.
31:12You know that, man.
31:14I'm sure you'll be great, Paji.
31:15Thanks, man.
31:16For how long have you been driving truck for Sunny?
31:19Uh, just under a year.
31:21Does he like, tell you what you're picking up?
31:24Do you know what's bad there?
31:25Uh, tires, you know, usually.
31:27Probably.
31:28No, I had to help pay tons of debt and some medical bills back home.
31:33This has been keeping me steady.
31:35That's good, man.
31:36As long as it's honest work, man.
31:37You never know about that guy.
31:38Oh, nothing like that, Paji.
31:41I'm just grateful to Sunny, Paji.
31:43He's been keeping me employed as I look for a job in my field.
31:46Well, you want to get a job in a field?
31:51Yeah, I'm a farmer back home, so looking for a job in my field.
31:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:56In his field, in his field.
31:58Well, you have to go back there to work in your field.
31:59Are you telling me to go back?
32:00No.
32:01No, I didn't.
32:03Man.
32:04Bro.
32:05Bro!
32:25Hey, sir. How are you, sir?
32:29What are you doing, Paji?
32:32What are you doing?
32:36I don't know.
32:37I'm sorry, bro.
32:37I never know that my job is a good job.
32:39Can I take care of my job?
32:41How much respect are you?
32:41Brother, what respect are you?
32:43It's not that we don't respect you, it's just that.
32:46I'm just scared of this new supervisor.
32:49Supervisor?
32:50What supervisor?
32:51You're not in Sri Lanka, sir.
32:52You don't have a job.
32:53You're not in Sri Lanka.
32:54You're not in Sri Lanka.
32:54You're in Sri Lanka.
32:55You're in Sri Lanka.
32:55You're in Sri Lanka.
32:56You're in Sri Lanka.
32:56that I can, and I don't want to go with her.
33:14Hi, good evening.
33:15Are we checking in?
33:16Yes, we are.
33:17Great.
33:17What name is the reservation under?
33:19It should be under your name, mate.
33:21You got this, right?
33:22I'm going to go get some animal water.
33:23Okay.
33:24Hey, I saw on Yelp that you guys give a cookie.
33:26When you check in, can I get that now?
33:30Yeah.
33:32Cool.
33:36Is that gluten-free?
33:38Yes, it is.
33:39Okay, then I don't want it.
33:41Oh.
33:41Yeah.
33:42Okay.
33:43I'll be back.
33:46Yeah, sorry about that.
33:47It's okay.
33:49Anyways, the name should be under a first name just to meet,
33:51the last name Dutta.
33:52Okay, how do you spell it?
33:54D-U-T-T-A.
33:55Okay.
33:57Yeah, sorry.
33:58I'm not seeing anything under that name.
33:59Could it be under anything else?
34:02Just meet Swirled?
34:05Yes.
34:06Okay, we do have that.
34:08Great.
34:08Great.
34:09Mr. Swirled.
34:10Yeah.
34:11Just a government ID and credit card for incidentals.
34:13Cool.
34:18Okay.
34:20Oh.
34:21Okay.
34:22Uh, sorry, Mr. Dutta.
34:24Uh, yeah, the name on the ID actually has to match the name on the room.
34:27We're looking for Mr. Swirled.
34:29Yeah, that's just my stage name.
34:31Okay.
34:32But I would still need an ID saying that, though, sir.
34:35Yeah, but that's me.
34:37It's, I'm Mr. Swirled.
34:38It's literally me on the flyer.
34:45Oh, yeah.
34:46You look great on that.
34:48But, um, yeah, no, I still would need to see ID.
34:51It's policy.
34:52Seriously?
34:54Can we get a selfie, please?
34:57Sure.
35:04Sorry.
35:05I already bent the rules on the cookie.
35:08Okay.
35:09Yo, Nubby.
35:10Yeah.
35:10Can you call the organizers?
35:11They booked the room under the wrong name.
35:13Yeah, just check again, man.
35:14I'm sure they have, man.
35:15Bro, just do your job, please.
35:19Always make me do this.
35:27Hello.
35:29Yeah, I need one of you guys to come down.
35:31Hello.
35:32I need one of you guys to come.
35:34These guys can't hear a goddamn thing, man.
35:36They sound drunk.
35:37They're partying or some shit.
35:38Here, come to me.
35:39Hello?
35:41Hey, uh, it's just me.
35:43Uh, just me?
35:45The guy that's emceeing your competition?
35:47Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:48Bro, you gotta get your ass to the mixer right now.
35:50It's so late right now, bro.
35:51Look, uh, we're at the front desk right now,
35:53and you can't check in, because the name is...
35:55Bro, oh, shit, they're playing Roger Chacha.
35:57I'm on piano remix.
35:59Are you seriously booked it under Mr. Swirl?
36:01Yeah, sorry.
36:03Wait, he can change his name, right?
36:05Legally?
36:06Hello?
36:09No.
36:29Yo, what else?
36:30When is it, Paul?
36:32Are you kidding me?
36:33Just me?
36:34Holy shit.
36:36Dude, what are you doing here?
36:38I haven't seen you since, like, sick camp days.
36:40This is wild.
36:40Don't you live in Jersey?
36:41Yeah, but I'm here to support my sister.
36:43She's competing.
36:44I was actually kind of hoping I'd bump into you.
36:46You've accomplished so much.
36:48I'm watching you from a distance like the little stalker that I am.
36:51Really?
36:51Okay.
36:52Okay, um, full disclosure, your videos pop up on my feed, like, all the time.
36:57Wow.
36:58Really embarrassed.
36:59Yes.
36:59I am also a stalker.
37:01I know.
37:02Also, you go by Maya now?
37:04Yeah.
37:04Yeah, it's, you know, just to make life easier.
37:07And also just to remind myself that everything in life is really an illusion.
37:10Hey, yo, just me.
37:12Okay.
37:12Hey, yo.
37:13All right.
37:13I'll see you.
37:14Hey, yo, bro.
37:14Okay.
37:15Hey, yo, man.
37:15They've got no rooms available.
37:17There's a motel, like, 30 minutes down the street.
37:19We've got vacancies.
37:21All right.
37:21Let me call a number.
37:22Wait, you guys don't have a place to crash?
37:24And you're hosting the competition?
37:26Yeah, there's some sort of name mixed up, and the organizers are all dropped, so.
37:31Well, hey, why don't you take my room?
37:33I'll crash with my sister.
37:35What?
37:35No.
37:36No, no, no.
37:37Don't be ridiculous, man.
37:37No, trust me.
37:38Just me.
37:38She would probably want that anyways.
37:40With how nervous she is.
37:45Okay.
37:46Yeah.
37:47Yeah, that'd be awesome.
37:49Are you sure?
37:49I'm sure.
37:50I got you.
37:51I'll just get my stuff out of there, and you're good to go.
37:53Thank you so much.
37:54You're a lifestreamer.
37:54Oh, my God.
37:55It's nice seeing you.
37:59Damn.
38:00I'm going to smash that happy chick away.
38:04What?
38:04Manager's got to eat, too, bro.
38:06Dude.
38:07I kissed the hotel girl.
38:09Really?
38:11What's she taste like?
38:12She tastes like hotel.
38:13Okay, let's go.
38:14Get your bags, man.
38:15Let's go.
38:16Hotel?
38:16What does hotel taste like?
38:21Heading out?
38:22Yeah.
38:23And hey, thank you so much for letting me use your office.
38:25Sorry I was here all day.
38:26I just, I got so much work done.
38:28Not just therapy.
38:30Take it.
38:31What?
38:32Take the space.
38:32It's yours.
38:34Whenever you need it.
38:35Design work.
38:36Therapy.
38:37Sixteen Chapel.
38:38The ceiling.
38:39I don't care.
38:40Whatever.
38:40Free of charge.
38:41Sixteen Chapel, Sonny.
38:43What?
38:44And that's really nice, but why?
38:45Dude, today's been one of the most productive days here in a minute.
38:49Your presence, it's like, it's keeping my guys in line.
38:52Did you pick that shit up from your dad?
38:54Oh, yeah.
38:55You know how many of my dad's scary-ass trucker buddies I used to get to buy me candy as
38:58a kid?
38:59That was cute.
39:00Terrifying, but cute.
39:01I mean, just keep acting like the supervisor, and everything the light touches is yours.
39:07Okay.
39:08Sure.
39:15Not only does Guasha increase your blood circulation, which makes you look more alive and awake,
39:20but if you add healing stones, this adds an extra healing component.
39:24Now, this specific Guasha is infused with petrahertz.
39:28I'd like to go ahead and thank Jade Baby for sending me this beautiful Guasha,
39:31and use my code MAYA15 for 15% off.
39:41Hi, Chasmid.
39:42How are we doing?
39:43Feeling good?
39:44No, we're not happy.
39:45I'll take care of this, man.
39:47What the fuck was up with last night?
39:49You had us waiting in the fucking lobby, man?
39:51And you out getting fucking drunk?
39:54I'm sorry.
39:55I did the parties that we were at.
39:56Yo, you really thought his last name was Swirled?
39:59Fuck, come on, man!
40:00No, I booked it while I was studying for my chem intern.
40:03So sorry.
40:04I get-
40:04Sorry's not good enough, Dr. Saab.
40:06And look at this green room.
40:07It's not private.
40:08And it's fucking bare, man!
40:09We have chips and water.
40:11What is this, a grade five birthday party, bro?
40:14All right, what more do you want, dude?
40:15Like, get us some fucking steak, some kebabs, some sushi, some bottles of fucking Ciroc, some crown?
40:21I don't know if I can get all that in time.
40:22No, no, no.
40:23You will.
40:24Otherwise, we're not doing the show.
40:26Chasmid is an icon, kid.
40:28How's the fucking respect?
40:30Hey, I'll get right on it.
40:33Yeah, that's right.
40:34Can you believe this fucking guy?
40:36If it was all that necessary, he was like some Vegeta college kid.
40:39You can't keep lowering their standards, man.
40:41They'll never respect you if you let them keep getting away with this.
40:45I'm asking for Ciroc bottles in the middle of the day.
40:49Yo, manager's got to eat, too.
40:50Plus, it'll help you get over your pre-show jitters, you know what I mean?
40:54Damn.
40:56Time to go.
40:58All right, good luck, guys.
41:03Bro, what's up?
41:05This whole house, there's got to be, like, 100 people out there.
41:08This is a 1,400 seat theater, bro.
41:12I'm in my glasses.
41:13Okay.
41:14Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the massive internet sensation
41:18and one of the funniest voices of our generation,
41:21the heartthrob himself.
41:23Give it up for...
41:25Friend!
41:27Hey, y'all.
41:29Congrats for 25 years of the North American, South Asian,
41:33Salon competition.
41:34I mean, that's unbelievably huge,
41:36and I would have loved to be there in person
41:37to celebrate this milestone with you guys,
41:39but your boy is guest-judging the mass singer this week.
41:43I know.
41:44Womp womp.
41:44And I'm still hosting popular competitions.
41:46Just get out there and do your job, bro.
41:49Just focus.
41:50Love you all.
41:51Make sure you kill it.
41:52And you know what they say.
41:53Graham means love.
41:54Graham, out.
41:57All right.
41:58Now give it up for our host of the night,
42:01Jazby Dutta.
42:03All right.
42:04Woo!
42:05Yes!
42:06Give it up for me.
42:07That evening that came out way too early.
42:09Oh, my God.
42:10The way less successful internet guy,
42:13that's not as hot as him.
42:15I'm here with you tonight.
42:17Isn't that fun?
42:18You excited?
42:21Oh, man.
42:23I just ran into one of the Punga Nug team's backstage.
42:25We've got to talk about your names.
42:27First of all, they're way too long.
42:29Okay, the team I ran backstage,
42:31Soni Gabru, Mitre Punjab,
42:32Nachi Hasnit Papade,
42:34Joani Sheradi,
42:36Toronto Division.
42:37Like, that's way too long, okay?
42:39You don't have to listen to the whole
42:41stupid dictionary into your days.
42:43You all right, man?
42:44You seem stressed.
42:46Janandes, bro,
42:46is always freaking tripping, man.
42:49Well, as a recent survivor
42:51of an unconscious uncoupling,
42:53I can tell that you're brushing me off
42:55because you're avoiding your emotions.
42:57But I'm here for you, man.
42:59Bro, look.
43:01Go and take some pictures, man.
43:02Aren't you the social media guy?
43:04I don't even have my phone.
43:05What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
43:07Well, I've got to take this phone call, man.
43:09Just...
43:10God, I got you.
43:13Oh, man.
43:14We got the music, man.
43:15It's an interesting pocket, man.
43:16Feels like we just now
43:18entered our 2000s era.
43:20We're still like 20, 25 years behind.
43:22I mean, everybody's wearing
43:23baggy jeans now.
43:25They got blue track suits.
43:27Janie's walking around
43:28in a pink fur coat.
43:29Like, bro, you're not camera.
43:31You know what I mean?
43:33Honestly, the only thing we're missing
43:35is John Will.
43:36The real John Will.
43:37Not Dr. Seuss's blue leg John Will.
43:39I hope he's doing well wherever he is.
43:40But the real John Will
43:41popping on a track
43:42and just being like,
43:43me, I don't care, Murda.
43:45That's the only thing.
43:47But we're going to have fun
43:48regardless.
43:49So let's give it up
43:50for our first team.
43:51I'm not saying their name.
43:52We're going to talk about this.
43:53Put your hands together.
43:55Let's do it.
43:56Woo!
44:01Killed it.
44:14This guy was on his phone.
44:16He must be using so much data.
44:18He's using my hotspot.
44:35Yo, shout out to my boy Jesse
44:38for killing it tonight.
44:41And all you sexy fucking girls.
44:43I fucking love
44:44under that competition.
44:46Woo!
44:47Good job, baby!
44:52Yeah, shots!
44:54Yo, can you tell your manager
44:55to be careful?
44:56The deposit in this room
44:57is real steep.
44:58Woo!
44:59Shots!
45:00Yo!
45:04Shit, yo, it's my wife.
45:05Hey, everybody,
45:06shut the fuck up!
45:08Hey, babe.
45:10Yeah.
45:11No, I'm just,
45:12I'm here with the boys.
45:13We're just about to go to sleep.
45:16Yo, there's no one in the room.
45:18Yo, shut the fuck up!
45:22Yeah.
45:23No, I didn't put it on you.
45:25What are you talking about?
45:27Hey, let me go to a better area, okay?
45:30Yo, man,
45:30take care of the girls, okay?
45:33Yeah, yo,
45:34why are you always tripping?
45:35Like, seriously.
45:40It's tripping.
45:42All right, I'm going to take care of the girls.
45:46Hello?
45:47Uh, hi, do any women here need water?
45:51No?
45:52Just let me know if any of the guys
45:54are acting aggressive
45:57or inappropriate.
45:58I'm here.
45:59Yo, how'd it go?
46:01Uh, I don't know, man.
46:02I just feel like I'm on autopilot
46:03at these things.
46:03So then why do you still do them?
46:05So nobody can get away
46:06from his wife for the weekend?
46:07Like, what else am I supposed to do?
46:08Put yourself in new places.
46:10You know,
46:11sometimes
46:12you might find a creative spark
46:14in the randomest spots.
46:16Yeah,
46:16I guess you're right.
46:17Oh, dude,
46:19guess who I ran into?
46:20Who?
46:20My first kiss.
46:22Where?
46:22At the competition.
46:24Isn't that crazy?
46:25And I think she might be single.
46:26So what are you doing?
46:27You're still talking to me, loser.
46:28Go, find out.
46:29All right,
46:29I'm going to get out of this
46:30black house after the party.
46:31I'll talk to you later, eh?
46:32Peace.
46:34Okay, bye.
46:36Oh, shit.
46:38I might just have to make
46:39official uniform for my guys.
46:41These designs are sick.
46:42Yeah?
46:42Yeah.
46:42Thanks, honey.
46:43Okay, well, look,
46:43I'll send you an invoice
46:44to get the work started.
46:46Yo,
46:46I give this girl a free office
46:48and somehow I'm getting charged?
46:50Is that what you're learning in therapy?
46:51Some reverse psychology shit?
46:53I like this.
47:11Sometimes I feel like
47:12my wife fucking hates me.
47:13Like,
47:14I just want to live
47:15and enjoy life.
47:16I probably don't even love her anymore.
47:18She probably doesn't even love me.
47:20We were never fucking compatible.
47:23I am so proud of you
47:24for opening up to me.
47:27We stayed together
47:28because of the kids.
47:29That's the way I was raised.
47:31We don't do a divorce.
47:32You feel me?
47:33I feel so trapped.
47:35I'm so alone.
47:38This is a huge first step.
47:42Okay?
47:43You can't heal
47:43what you can't name.
47:45Fuck.
47:47You're so chill
47:48when I'm in bed.
47:49Like,
47:50thank you, bro.
47:51Here.
47:53One sec,
47:54one sec.
47:55Hey!
47:55Get the fuck out!
47:57He's having a breakthrough, man.
48:02Hey.
48:03I love you.
48:06Don't say that, man.
48:07I barely know you.
48:20Wow!
48:21Look who it is!
48:22Hiding out from your rabbit van?
48:25Uh,
48:25I'll just take a little break.
48:26Enjoy the view.
48:27Mmm.
48:28So,
48:29how did you like it?
48:30It was good.
48:31It was good.
48:32Your, um,
48:33auntie jokes were,
48:34uh,
48:34soul friends.
48:35Oh, my God.
48:36You're not even going to
48:36torture me.
48:39Hey,
48:40um,
48:40can I be honest with you?
48:42Sure.
48:43I feel like you have
48:45funnier stuff
48:45you could be doing.
48:47Wow.
48:48Yeah,
48:49no,
48:49you're right,
48:50but
48:50it's just,
48:51isn't the right crowd.
48:52Okay.
48:53Well,
48:53when you find the right crowd,
48:54let me know.
48:55I'll come watch.
48:57You're going to come
48:57all the way up to Toronto?
48:59Yeah.
49:00Really?
49:00Yeah.
49:01You know,
49:02Toronto's actually next
49:02on my list.
49:04Okay.
49:05Well,
49:06if you
49:07ever need a place
49:08to crash,
49:09I can return the favor.
49:11Oh,
49:12okay.
49:13Well,
49:13I might actually
49:13take you up on that.
49:15Okay.
49:19That reminds me of
49:20when we snuck out
49:21to watch the stars
49:22that night.
49:23Oh,
49:24my God.
49:25Wow.
49:26That was crazy.
49:28Yeah.
49:29You know,
49:30that was actually
49:31my first kiss.
49:33Mine too.
49:34Really?
49:35Yeah.
49:37Hmm.
49:39Also,
49:39I totally didn't apologize
49:41for how much spit
49:42and slobber
49:43and drool
49:44I got all over your face,
49:45so I was new at it,
49:46actually.
49:47All good.
49:47And I'm way better now.
49:49Oh.
49:50Yeah.
49:51Well,
49:51I'll be the judge of that.
49:54Yeah.
49:55Mm-hmm.
50:14It's like, uh,
50:1610% less wet.
50:18Okay.
50:18That's an improvement.
50:20Maybe if I keep practicing,
50:21I'll, uh,
50:21I'll get there.
50:22Oh,
50:22you want to keep practicing?
50:23Yeah,
50:24practice makes perfect.
50:25Oh.
50:27It's the only way
50:27to perfection.
50:30You're right.
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