- 7 hours ago
Virgin Island - Season 1 Episode 100
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00:00Obviously one of the biggest moments was losing my virginity, as millions of people have now seen, including my mum.
00:07Last year, these three people took part in a unique form of therapy.
00:11Look, it's half far. I'm going back to the island.
00:15I'm excited, nervous.
00:17They arrived on a paradise island as virgins to explore relationships, intimacy and sex.
00:23I think it'll be great. It should be fun. But obviously, it's going to be emotional.
00:28Now, with 12 more virgins arriving for their own course of therapy, we're heading back to see what life on
00:37Virgin Island is really like.
00:45I want to go back to Virgin Island because I want to see, you know, where it all changed.
00:49To go back to it with a completely fresh perspective and see it again and just bring back the memories
00:54of how I was like before.
00:57And to see how far I've come.
00:59I think I want to go back to Virgin Island because it was a really important place for me.
01:05It was a really special place. I made so many friends.
01:08I discovered really important things about myself.
01:10And I learned so many lessons about confidence that I've still used today.
01:15So for me, going back to Virgin Island, I'm hoping to find myself again because it's been a year since
01:23I've been there.
01:23Because when I was on that island, I felt like a man.
01:27But like right now, I'm feeling like, OK, it's kind of dwindling away.
01:30I've got to find myself once more.
01:32I'm just hoping to find a bit of that sexual energy and happiness again.
01:41I feel like a nervous excitement about being here because it was this whole life-changing thing.
01:46It's been so long since.
01:47I'm going to get to see exactly what happened.
01:50Oi, Dave!
01:50Hello.
01:51Jason.
01:53Long time no see.
01:54Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:56How have you been?
01:57Wow.
02:00So, shall we go and do an explore then and go on?
02:04Let's go.
02:08Hi.
02:09Hi, Dave.
02:10How are you?
02:10Not bad.
02:11How are you?
02:12Welcome back to Virgin Island.
02:13It's good to be back.
02:15Oh, God.
02:16I didn't think I'd be doing this again.
02:19Oh, look, I'm intense.
02:21It's going to be the first night when we all sat on my porch and watched, like, a little movie
02:25together.
02:26Oh, yeah.
02:26One of the most major moments on the show for me and in my whole life was getting naked.
02:33First significant turning point for me, because I was a little bit of a late bloomer, was the nudity session.
02:39Oh, my God, right.
02:40I've got, you know, like, the wee clip.
02:43Of the rope?
02:44Yeah, like, look.
02:46It's 25-year-old Jason, who has always had a problem with his self-image.
02:52Okay.
02:53Right.
02:53So, the front I'm fine with is the butt.
02:59The butt.
02:59It's really great.
03:01Looking in the mirror feels strange, because I don't see myself as attractive at all.
03:05I don't like my hair.
03:07I don't like my face.
03:08I've always been, like, a stick man.
03:10Like, if you had a cartoon stick man, that's me.
03:14Okay.
03:22CHEERING
03:26This is my body.
03:28You went straight in.
03:29This is my body.
03:30Wait, I'm trying to rush it.
03:30Like, with my plaster on.
03:32I think they knew that.
03:34Before doing it, I was shitting bricks.
03:37I was so nervous and scared, and I thought, okay, people are going to laugh at me.
03:41When I disrobed, it was so freeing.
03:43Like, front and back, everything was out.
03:45Biggest focus for me, overthinking everything, was the stretch marks.
03:49My stretch marks are a major thing I've been worried about for, like, my entire life.
03:55When you weren't laughing at it, it was all great and cheering on.
03:59I thought, do you know what?
04:00Nothing wrong with it.
04:00And then when I had a session with Joy, we went, we spoke about this moment, about getting it out.
04:06And she said, own your stripes, and everyone's got it.
04:09And it's very enlightening, very freeing.
04:10Oh, no, this is me.
04:12Oh, no, this is me.
04:13Awful.
04:13I've never been the kind of person who hates the way I look.
04:17More my issue was with being tall and with being big.
04:22I like my body.
04:23I just wish there wasn't, like, as much of me.
04:26Nobody outright said it, but you get the vibe that you need to take up less space.
04:31You're taking up a lot of space right now.
04:32I was really worried about it, especially because, like, a lot of the girls had quite nice feminine underwear on,
04:40and I felt like mine was quite big and that I needed, like, I joked that I had an industrial
04:46support bra.
04:47This is my body.
04:49That's great.
04:50Thank you.
04:53I've bought better underwear since then.
04:56And I had conversations with Danielle and Celeste and with Kat about it's okay to take up space as a
05:03woman.
05:03I'm not trying to fit into the mold anymore.
05:06I'm six foot, and I don't apologise for it.
05:13I'm just ready.
05:15Yeah.
05:17Oh, here he is.
05:18I think I kind of realised I just needed to do something at this point.
05:29When I look at you, I'm going to embarrass you a little bit.
05:34You're sexy, handsome man.
05:39It was such a unique atmosphere that I've never felt like that before.
05:44I knew this session was my chance because I didn't have to, you know, it was just taking a robe
05:48off.
05:49In front of all of your friends and the nation.
05:52I just felt so free in it.
05:55And it made me realise that this is the most supportive place I'm ever going to be at to do
06:00things like this and to learn like this.
06:02Sometimes you kind of put yourself in a cage and you make up these rules of, like, what you can
06:07and can't do.
06:08And then you break one and you realise they're completely made up.
06:11And you've trapped yourself for no reason.
06:13And you've just been holding yourself back for a while.
06:15I built up this idea in my head of being trapped in this little cage where I had to get
06:21out of it myself and there wasn't going to be support and help anywhere else.
06:25And now I look back on it and I think, I was an idiot.
06:27For someone with really low self-esteem like myself and like a lot of the other contributors, it was unheard
06:33of to just have people look at you and just say really nice things.
06:37Like, of course there was going to be support out there.
06:39Of course there was going to be help.
06:41So shall we go and see if they've left any of the rooms unlocked to see if we can see
06:44where the therapists were?
06:47Oh, of course, we've got to find somewhere.
06:50I've always been attacked by Joy.
06:54With the one session she said, do you know how to dance?
06:56I was like, no, they were teachers.
06:58So she did that.
07:00And she gave me a bit of resistance.
07:01And she's going to floor me with her legs and stuff.
07:04Oh, this is fighting.
07:09No, it's so different.
07:11Massively, but the macromes, like, improved.
07:13Being back in the teepee, right?
07:15You know what?
07:16Always makes me think of, like, one specific part of the show.
07:20Right.
07:21Just watch it.
07:22Just watch.
07:23Bring it closer.
07:26Would you like to do a hug?
07:29Why not?
07:30Let's do it.
07:30Yeah, let's do it.
07:40How is this?
07:42Yeah, awesome.
07:43Yeah.
07:44Cool, yeah.
07:46Like, I was so scared.
07:48My body language.
07:49I was trying to get a thought.
07:51Can't touch me!
07:52Watching that is intense.
07:55It's intense.
07:56How I physically recoiled away from her.
07:59I was literally leaning away from any sort of physical touch.
08:03And just watching that now, I realise the transformation I've had in life.
08:07Before the whole show, physical touch for me was one of my biggest, like, phobias in a way.
08:12Like, just thinking about someone hugging me or touching me, I'd be like, mate, I'd rather throw up.
08:18I heard you wouldn't even touch them on the dock.
08:20Like, when they shook hands.
08:21Yeah, I was like, I can get myself off the boat.
08:23I've hugged a lot of people.
08:25Probably hugged people unnecessarily.
08:27I've hugged an Uber driver.
08:29We've been early.
08:30I was like, mate, you've helped me here.
08:32Well, my mum's never really been a hugger.
08:34Neither was I.
08:35So, it's nice to see my mum kind of get used to hugs as well.
08:38It's just nice to have that bit of, like, touch and just knowing that, like, that's for you.
08:43You're okay.
08:44It's hard to put into words how happy it makes me feel.
08:47Oh, no.
08:48I just want you to bring awareness into your heat.
08:50So am I coming off of this.
08:53I'm noticing any tension that you feel.
08:58Kat wants Taylor to concentrate on how it feels to be touched by a woman.
09:04So, a big thing for me during my time at Virgin Island was in the teepee with Kat.
09:10We did a lot of body work and it was a lot of working on myself, my confidence,
09:15knowing what I wanted, knowing what I didn't want.
09:17And sometimes it's just feeling safe.
09:19She actually worked all the way up my legs into here and this is when I started to cry.
09:24Is it, like, does it feel like a release?
09:27Does it feel, yeah, okay.
09:30It's just such a relief to not feel scared at all.
09:33Hmm, that's amazing.
09:35See, I think you crying here, it's showing that it's working and resonating in a way.
09:40Yeah.
09:40Just two sessions with Kat completely upended and then restructured my life in a way that finally felt right.
09:48When I applied, I imagined it would just be, like, touching and education
09:52and then pointing at something.
09:54I didn't know what I was expecting.
09:55But a lot of it's much more about social and relationships than people think.
10:01The moment with Kat was special because I hadn't felt that way before.
10:06I feel like I'd been in so many situations where I hadn't felt safe.
10:10There was so many things I realised about myself on the island that I didn't know before.
10:14And I can take everything I learnt on Virgin Island with me and just be gay in the UK.
10:22I've had a few experiences in my life, like, not sex, but, like, you know, you meet someone and you,
10:27like, I don't know,
10:28and where I've felt so unsafe and felt, like, so pressured and, like, you know, that kind of thing.
10:34Being allowed to have my space and being allowed to feel how I wanted to feel was so big for
10:38me.
10:39It's kind of that unfair, like, oh, why have I had to go through this situation?
10:45Because so many people don't, but then so many more people do and don't talk about it.
10:50So you feel really more alone in that situation.
10:54I think my eyes are water.
10:55He's healed.
10:57I'm fine.
11:00But, yeah, it's just one of those where you get back to it and you're like, oh, like, that didn't
11:04have to happen to me.
11:07See, not only one of the positives, confidence and boosts our confidence.
11:11I think not just on the show, but after the show, our friendship, for me, overall, like, social aspects of
11:18it.
11:18Yeah, it's one of the biggest things for me in a positive way.
11:22And the only real thing we had in common was virginity.
11:25And that's what got us all here.
11:26Now we don't even have that.
11:27Yeah, don't.
11:28I do feel left out by you guys.
11:30Well, for a while, it was, what was the group chat?
11:32It was, like, virgins and div.
11:35Like, on that note, shall we go to the zen then?
11:40Back to the crime scene.
11:46To be fair, it was ready like this for the first sessions last season.
11:49Oh, do you think maybe, like, they don't bring in the beds until we're freaked out enough?
11:52Yeah, yeah, you've got to be scared, really, before they bring in the bed.
11:55I remember the first, like, session where you walked in, there was a bed, and you were like...
11:59Obviously, one of the biggest moments was losing my virginity, as millions of people have now seen, including my mum,
12:05which I was not expecting.
12:07All right, ready?
12:09Yeah.
12:10So, please.
12:11OK.
12:13Did you run?
12:15Yeah.
12:15Yeah.
12:18How are you feeling?
12:21Yeah.
12:22Yeah.
12:25After 12 days, Dave has completed his course of therapy on Virgin Island.
12:33Thank you.
12:37I feel like I was in a really dark room, and I didn't know where I was going.
12:45I felt kind of trapped, because I was looking.
12:46Yeah, like, literally, I'm stumbling around, and I was just falling over.
12:49But I feel like after the island, I've got this tiny little torch, and I still can't see very well.
12:55And I'm still, like, stubbing my toe all over the place and stumbling around.
12:59But I know there's a light switch in the room, and I know I've got a chance of finding it.
13:04I had a real lack of hope before the island, and that's gone.
13:09I think losing my virginity was a big moment for me, because it's always this shame that I've had.
13:14And I think I put myself into this bracket where I felt like I needed to change myself as a
13:21person in order to lose my virginity.
13:25When Danielle and Celeste and all the other therapists kind of showed me, it was never to do with that.
13:30It was more, you've got to be comfortable in yourself to actually go out and connect with people.
13:35It's nothing to do with changing yourself.
13:38And I felt this deep shame about who I was for no reason at all.
13:42So in here is where I...
13:45OK, so it's going to look weird, and I'll do the hand motions, but it's the first time I cupped
13:48him, like, squeezed a woman's breast.
13:51It was Celeste.
13:53And, um, is the word supple?
13:55Is it supple?
13:56Yeah.
13:56It's nice.
13:57It's nice.
13:58It's all right.
13:58I know it's easy to joke around, oh, I touched a woman's breast.
14:01It felt so nice.
14:02But deeper down, it felt like I was finding it unlocking a part of my life I'd missed out on.
14:07My life now, I am more confident.
14:10Like, I can hold a conversation.
14:12And I know when the time does come to do the deed, I'm not going to be, like, scared.
14:16I don't cry much, but I will admit one thing on camera.
14:19I did cry that night.
14:21I cried that night.
14:22I felt human and I felt happy.
14:28My biggest final moment of my journey was in the Zen Den with Kat, where we had a kiss.
14:34The only time I ever kissed people was when I was drunk, because that was, like, the liquid courage that
14:38I needed to, like, push me into that situation.
14:40I had my first, like, sober kiss with Kat.
14:43I remember being so, like, shaky about it.
14:46Like, she was like, you can kiss me.
14:47And I was like, oh, no, I can do that.
14:50She said, you don't have to if you don't want to.
14:52I was like, okay, thanks.
14:53And then we were just talking, and I just kind of panicked, went, wow.
14:55I was like, I really want dating to be something that I do sober and something that I do intentionally,
15:02because I feel like so many times in my life I've just let someone else take the reins, and it's
15:08so much better for me to, like, say, this is what I want to do.
15:11This is how I want to do it.
15:12I was out and met a lovely girl, and we kissed, and that was really nice and very exciting.
15:21I got a compliment on my kissing skills, and that I was very confident.
15:25And, quote, I think she said something along the lines of, oh, you're dangerous, because you, like, know what you're
15:30doing.
15:30And I was like, I'm so confident now that, like, people think I know what I'm doing.
15:35And I was like, oh, you would be surprised.
15:39So, yeah, I kind of now feel like I give off this aura of confidence that I've learned from the
15:45island, and people really do respond to that.
15:49Well, Dave came, we saw.
15:52Let's go for a bit of explore before we get kicked off the island for the next guy.
16:01Oh, no!
16:02Hello.
16:04Danielle and Celeste are just a bottomless pit of support.
16:07There's nothing they won't support.
16:09They're brilliant, and they, you took all of these frightened people and put them in a room and made them
16:15all feel very awkward but comfortable.
16:17And I think that's a really hard balance to achieve, and they've really just managed to spin those plates in
16:23a way that made everyone feel seen.
16:26heard, and part of something.
16:29So we need to get the update.
16:30It's been a mixed bag.
16:32Obviously, you go home and you hit the real world.
16:34Overall, I feel like this has given me so much confidence.
16:37I'm hoping, like, I'll get to the stage where I'm dating and having a nice time that way.
16:42Hopefully, at one point, I will pop this goddamn cherry.
16:45Right, so, dating non-existent right now, because I'm still working on it.
16:51With body confidence, like, I'm wearing short sleeves.
16:54I'm not like Mr. Muscles here.
16:55Well, I kind of love myself a bit now, and it's really nice, and it's thanks to you two and
17:00everyone else on the show.
17:01I think the biggest thing I've taken from the island has been self-esteem and really just having the confidence
17:07to sort of find someone who's perfect for you.
17:09Because I think, to be honest, I was a bit desperate before the show, and I was going for whatever
17:14relationship I could get into, if you know what I mean.
17:17I think I've learned to sort of not force it when it's not there, and to find someone that I'll
17:23be really happy with.
17:23And I have had relationships, and they've been with amazing people, and I never would have had them without the
17:28show.
17:28I don't know. It's amazing. Like, what an amazing group of friends you developed. Like, it's like a great gift,
17:34all of you.
17:35I know, we tried.
17:37It's just like being back on that.
17:39Cry, cry, cry.
17:41I'm excited for season two. We'll see how that plays out.
17:45It'll be so good to watch it and not have to, like, hide behind the pillow or anything.
17:48If I take one thing away from today, it'll be, I think, speaking with Danielle and Celeste and getting that
17:53extra boost of encouragement.
17:55And they've said to, like, maybe don't take dating as seriously as I've been taking it.
17:59Now I have the confidence to go out for what I want.
18:02When I went to the island, I didn't. I was kind of catering to what I thought other people wanted,
18:07and going and realising that, no, I can have wants and needs and I can chase them and that's absolutely
18:12fine for me to do
18:13and I don't need to feel guilty about it, was really freeing and that's really what it's given me.
18:18I'm so lucky I got to come and do this one last time.
18:21Being back at Virgin Island, it's made me relive moments I didn't really want to relive,
18:26but it's made me also sort of just value how much I gained from this show.
18:30I cringe so badly whenever I see myself on camera, but I've had so many lovely comments and everything like
18:36that.
18:36It made me realise I'm not someone to be ashamed of.
18:40The one thing I want to take away from this is to really just not take things for granted
18:44and sort of appreciate the moment when it's happening
18:48rather than sort of, you know, being shy and not pushing myself to do things when the opportunity is there.
18:53Looking back on all of it, I feel like it's going to be only from here.
18:59Before the show, I could barely speak to people.
19:02So for me, it was easy for me to easily remove friendships.
19:05Do you know what? I don't need to maintain connection.
19:09As soon as I went on the show, I realised how wrong I was and how deep and needed connection
19:14is.
19:14Not just in a sexual way, being able to speak to people and maintaining friendship, it's huge for me.
19:21I haven't lost my sexual energy. I haven't lost that.
19:24It's still there. It's not deep down. It is there.
19:27And honestly, I need to just believe in myself a bit more with that.
19:31And it's going to be okay to have the opportunity to come back again
19:33with two of the greatest people. It's been amazing.
19:36Thank you.
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