- 16 hours ago
Watch Malcolm in the Middle Life's Still Unfair Season 1 Episode 2 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:28You
00:40Hello? Stevie. It's Malcolm. Malcolm? Who? Yeah, it's been a few months. Look, I was just thinking about you. I
00:50figured I'd give you a call. How's little Max? How's Glenn? Cute. Needy. Great. Great. I love the picture.
01:01What's wrong? Everything. Mom and Dad and Leah and Tristan all found out at the same time in person. You
01:06have to help me come up with a smart enough lie to cover up the years of lies I already
01:10told them. I mean, it's got to be brilliant. I told you this would happen. You did. You did. What
01:23do I do now? Do you mind? Seriously, what do I do? Confess.
01:32Apologize. Make it right. Stevie, quit clowning around. They already know. There's nothing to confess. It's Mom. She sees apologies
01:38as permission to become more enraged. I've misled them for over a decade. How do I make that right?
01:43Hey, Malcolm. Can he call you back? It's his turn for story time and we need to finish before midnight.
01:50Okay. Thanks anyway. Sorry, man.
01:56You're in a wheelchair and I'm needy.
02:01Life is unfair.
02:07It's just not fair. Oh my God. What happened? What did I do? What did we do?
02:13We have just had the worst 24 hours of our life. We just found out. Guess who's gonna be a
02:19grandma? Isn't it amazing? We've been trying for so long. Years and years of constant sex and all these weird
02:27mommy blog positions and it finally happened.
02:29Get your pee stick out of my face. Seriously? You can't even be happy for me about this?
02:35What are we trying? Who's ready for re-caulking day?
02:40I put this on your credit card.
02:42What? We just found out that Malcolm has been intentionally hiding himself from this family for years and covering it
02:49up with lies.
02:49He has a teenage daughter! A secret teenage daughter!
02:55I still think my thing's pretty important.
02:58Dad, I am so sorry. I think we all knew Malcolm would eventually betray us. That's what Harvard does to
03:06people. Or any college, really.
03:08Oh. That reminds me.
03:11Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What are you doing? Dad is out there emotionally destroyed. I have to trash
03:18Malcolm as much as I can before he snaps out of it.
03:20How stupid are you?
03:22You mean like professionally measured?
03:24Just because mom and dad aren't on social media, you thought nobody else would find it?
03:27What? eBay? They already know I sell my underwear to pervs.
03:31What about Professor Dum Dum?
03:36Shall we peruse greatest hits?
03:55These new ones aren't just more efficient. They are so much quieter.
04:02Dad! What are you scumbling?
04:04Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
04:09Freeze!
04:10Just unplug it!
04:12Just...
04:13Unplug it!
04:15Freeze!
04:17Freeze!
04:2468 videos. Millions of views. How much money have you made publicly humiliating dad?
04:30Including merch?
04:31Merch?
04:32Are you going to snitch?
04:33Hell yes, I'm going to snitch.
04:35Okay. What do you want?
04:36To snitch.
04:37No. What do you want from me?
04:38To be there when I snitch.
04:40Kelly, you don't want to do that. Dad is too upset. He couldn't take it.
04:43I know that! God, this is so frustrating. It felt so good ratting Malcolm out. It was like I found
04:50my calling. I'm an informer. It's like being a whistleblower but mean. And turning you in was going to be...
05:00Now I have to wait to spill my guts. But it's coming.
05:10What did you see?
05:13Everything!
05:18Oh my God! What happened?
05:20He just fell down for no reason. Old people do that all the time.
05:23Hell!
05:24Hell!
05:26Help me. Help me get him into bed.
05:28He won't!
05:29Unwind!
05:29I'm rolling!
05:32Oh, careful, careful, careful, careful. Oh my God. Okay, come on, watch, come on.
05:39What do we do?
05:41Just roll him.
05:41This way.
05:42Roll him, bitch.
05:43Oh, there you go.
05:52Hey.
05:52How far did you run?
05:55Six miles past the interstate. I'm in much better shape than I thought. I met a horse. I named him
06:02Cookie.
06:03Dad, seriously? I can take mom being crazy, but that's only because you're not.
06:10I'm so sorry. I promise I'll never do anything like that again. And don't call your mom crazy. She just
06:17has a lot of problems. Primarily being crazy.
06:22So, anything else you've been, I don't know, lying to me about since I was born?
06:25Leah.
06:26No! My self-image is already screwed up. And now, I'm part of a family I know nothing about.
06:32I mean, are they murderers? Or geologists? Or have taste sacks? Or Kleinfelter syndrome? Or enjoy reading? Or have characteristic
06:38body language? Or they're athletic? Or super tasters?
06:41I should know all of that.
06:44There's no geologists.
06:49I think Tristan is amazing.
06:51She is. Oh, my God. She must be so mad at me.
06:55Yeah, well, she told Grandma and Grandpa that...
06:58I was not ready to hear you call them that.
07:00They really seemed okay. I... I don't understand why you can't be around them.
07:04I think yesterday you saw a pretty convincing demonstration. I have hay in my crack. I cannot go back to
07:10how I was before and I'm not gonna risk you. You are perfect. I want you to stay perfect.
07:19Okay, that... that's just fighting dirty.
07:22You have to think of it like they're the full moon and we're werewolves.
07:25It doesn't matter. Your cover is blown and Grandma doesn't seem the type to just let things go.
07:31Look, I need time to figure this out. You need to promise me that if she contacts you, you will
07:35not respond until you talk to me first, okay?
07:37Okay.
07:38No, you need to promise.
07:39Calm down. I promise.
07:42Thank you. I need to get some sleep.
07:44I'm still mad at you.
07:46You'll still be mad when I wake up. I believe in you.
08:11How could Malcolm abuse my trust this way? I'm so mad at him for betraying me. You know, by comparison,
08:20Reese looks pretty good. Sure, he's impetuous. But that rascal has a heart of gold. He's still my favorite.
08:32What's that?
08:34It's the 33rd of 40 love letters your father wrote me for our anniversary. Two pages each, front and back.
08:41Not a single repeat.
08:42Listen, I have to talk to you. I was so excited to tell you about the baby. We tried so
08:50hard for so long and when it finally happened, all I wanted to do was tell you. You didn't even
08:56say congratulations.
08:59You're right. I'm sorry. Congratulations. Never said I was perfect.
09:06Yes, you have.
09:07Well, I didn't mean it. Look, I will admit, there is a part of me, a part I do not
09:12like, that feels like you intentionally waited until this exact moment to get pregnant just to make it harder for
09:18me to deal with all these other problems.
09:20That is crazy.
09:22Honestly, your whole life has been like you purposely planned every moment, good or bad, to happen at the worst
09:27possible time.
09:28That's not fair. It's always totally random.
09:30I know. I hurt your feelings. And I feel bad about it. And I promise I am going to be
09:35happy about this very soon. I'm going to be overjoyed. Just not right now. I have too many other priorities
09:42right now. You and the baby are number eight.
09:44That is so insulting. Wait, you have a list with numbers?
09:52Yes. How do you think I manage? I have to rank everything according to how bad and how soon. Anniversary
10:01party is number one. Number two is our brand new already born granddaughter.
10:06I mean, she has been thrown into this circus with no preparation. We have to make it as comfortable as
10:10we can for that child.
10:11Your father is a close number three. Leah has the edge because she's younger. But he is in a complete
10:16meltdown.
10:17Number four is making Reese pay for what he did. Number five is figuring out a way to get Malcolm
10:24back into this family.
10:25Number six is making him pay for what he did. Number seven is trying to keep myself from draining our
10:31life savings to pay for this party.
10:34So you are number eight.
10:39When she puts it that way, I really can't argue with her.
10:41Are you kidding me? We're one slot above try oat milk.
10:44I know. Sucks to feel like you don't matter. I promise I'll never do that to our kid. As long
10:51as they don't piss me off too much.
10:54You are an incredibly smart, sexy mama.
11:14Do you care?
11:16I like the breeze.
11:24Hey, Leah.
11:26Hi, Allison. See you at pizza.
11:28What pizza?
11:30Oh, oh my God. I'm so sorry.
11:33Forget I said that. I don't know what you're talking about.
11:36Joanie's doing pizza after the social studies final.
11:41I thought everyone was invited.
11:44You really didn't.
11:46And why do you take such delight in humiliating someone who shouldn't even be on your radar?
11:52Wow.
11:54You really are cool.
11:56Oh.
12:06Morning.
12:08Is it morning?
12:10Oh.
12:12Sweetie.
12:14Did you know that there's a South American slug that, after mating, the eggs are deposited in the father?
12:25And over the next three months, the children slowly eat their way out of their loving father until he's an
12:34empty husk that blows away in the wind.
12:38I'm just waiting for the wind, Lois.
12:43You know, we could just let it go.
12:48For a little while.
12:56I'm sorry, Mr. Plummer.
13:01I don't have enough money to pay your great big bill.
13:08There must be some way I can satisfy you.
13:13And the office can put you on a payment plan.
13:19Did you just turn down sex?
13:22I guess I did.
13:24Hal.
13:26Hal, we don't turn down sex.
13:29No, no, no.
13:29We've done it in weddings and funerals and petting zoos.
13:34Hal, sex is our love language.
13:36I know, I know. I'm sorry, honey, but...
13:39Can I at least give you a hug?
13:44Not physically.
13:55Hey, it's Tristan. Let her rip.
13:57Hey, Tristan. It's me again.
13:59Look, I realize that you haven't returned my calls the last couple of days because my messages were apologies without
14:05an explanation.
14:06Which I also apologize for.
14:09So here it is.
14:11I've been seeing a therapist the last month or so.
14:14She put me on this antidepressant venalpramine.
14:17I didn't realize the side effects that it caused on my moods, behaviors, and decision-making.
14:24But I am not going to use a medication that altered everything about me as an excuse.
14:29No.
14:30And I'm not going to bring Leah into this either, okay?
14:33Even though she already feels so connected to you.
14:36She knows that not seeing you again isn't anything like when her mother abandoned her.
14:41But please, do not do this to her.
14:43She's just a kid.
14:46I'll be ashamed of myself after I get her back.
14:50Oh, you're just so glad you called, Leah.
14:53Dad insisted I get to know the family right away.
14:56If Dad can keep secrets, I can break promises.
14:59This is Francis and Piyama, Kelly, Jamie, and Dewey.
15:05And this is your uncle, Reese, who is going to explain himself and apologize to me this very second.
15:10Word of warning, they get mad about anything around here.
15:16We are just so excited about all of this.
15:18We've just missed so much.
15:20We have a thousand questions we'd like to ask you.
15:28Hal, don't you have a question that you'd like to ask, Leah?
15:31Uh, yeah.
15:33What do you want to do when you grow up?
15:36Crush your father's soul and make him question his own identity?
15:41Excuse us a minute.
15:44Welcome to the family, Leah.
15:45Gosh, I wish I was able to be there to welcome you properly.
16:02Sorry, they're, um...
16:04Evacuating the hotel.
16:06You're up, right?
16:07Yeah, hey, I gotta go, too.
16:09I gotta sneak in a cigarette while the lieutenant's still taking a dump.
16:12Don't tell Mama Smoke.
16:15Is it me?
16:16Because this feels like when they make us choose lab partners.
16:20No friends, huh?
16:21Yeah, you give off that vibe.
16:23Kids can be mean.
16:25Parents, too.
16:27So the social thing is tough, huh?
16:30No, it's great.
16:31I'm on the waiting list to move up from outcast to pariah.
16:36It really is fine.
16:37I mean, I'm used to it.
16:38Because, like, what choice do I have?
16:40I mean, there's way worse problems.
16:47Leah, have you ever tried being kind?
16:51Probably not.
16:53I am nice all the time, and I get treated like crap anyway.
16:56Nice is different than kind.
16:59Kindness requires empathy, and empathy requires putting yourself in someone else's place so you understand how they feel.
17:07Do you remember ever doing that?
17:09What?
17:11Right.
17:12That's a tough one for your dad, too.
17:14You guys have brains that are so different from other people's, it's impossible to feel like you have anything in
17:19common with them.
17:20So what am I supposed to do?
17:22Just make an arbitrary rule.
17:24If you're not getting along with someone, imagine you have empathy for them and act accordingly.
17:29Like how I imagine I'm not always on the brink of violence.
17:33Try it.
17:34See what happens.
17:36Something you want to add?
17:39I bet if I crash the car, I'd move up two spaces.
17:47Oh, honey, Leah needs her warm and loving grandpa.
17:51I'm so sorry, Lois, but I don't think I can.
17:55I look at her, and instead of a sweet kid, I just see one more person who will hurt me.
18:09Say hi!
18:10Lois!
18:11Your orders are to stay just this week, loving, and beautiful as the day.
18:15Hal Bruce laid his love and eyes on you.
18:18Open fire!
18:27Reload!
18:31Achoo!
18:33I must be allergic to something.
18:44She fake sneezed a booger onto her chin.
18:48There's a giant chunk of snot on her chin.
18:51There's a million ways that I could nail her.
18:54Do I go funny? Do I go brutal?
18:56Do I connect it to her character flaws so it stings with some staying power?
19:00My mind is reeling!
19:06Hey, you have a thing on your chin. It happens to me all the time.
19:16Wait, wait, wait.
19:17I saw what you did back there, that giant Jabba the Hutt on her face.
19:21Oh, my God.
19:22I was just...
19:23Oh, I hate Allison. I had the perfect idea.
19:25I was gonna go, would you care for some crackers with that oyster?
19:29And then seeing what you did, I mean, I feel kind of sorry.
19:34That was, like, noble.
19:37I'm not noble.
19:39Well, something.
19:40Leah, right?
19:41Yes, Jason.
19:42I sit next to her in English.
19:44And world history.
19:46Oh.
19:46Right.
19:47I'm dumb.
19:50Was this a meet-cute?
19:52This was a meet-cute, right?
19:58Tristan's on her way over.
19:59I'm gonna take responsibility and acknowledge the impact that my actions had on her.
20:03Or I'm gonna justify it.
20:05And I'm gonna frame things in a way that she thinks that it's partially her fault.
20:08Which one's gaslighting?
20:09Oh.
20:10Oh.
20:11Oh.
20:11Oh.
20:13Hi.
20:13Hey.
20:14Look, thank you so much for talking to me.
20:17I know how upset you are.
20:19I know how bad I screwed up.
20:20And I...
20:22I don't need to talk.
20:24I need to listen.
20:26Go ahead.
20:29I love your kid.
20:30I love your kid.
20:32That's all I have for positives.
20:35Good start.
20:36You totally sandbagged me.
20:38Anytime I asked you about your family, you said it was complicated.
20:41What I saw was not complicated.
20:43It was just wrong.
20:44Yes.
20:45But I have a solution for that.
20:46All those angry, vicious things I screamed at them, imagine I didn't.
20:51You have to make peace with your family, okay?
20:54For your own sake, and sure as hell for Leah's sake.
20:57You don't understand.
20:58I can't.
20:59It's not just mom and dad.
21:01It's so much worse with my brothers.
21:03I mean, all we ever do is fight, except for when we team up to fight them.
21:09You... have brothers.
21:15Four.
21:16And one.
21:16Non-binary.
21:17Dude.
21:19Come on.
21:20This is so much to unpack.
21:21Don't unpack.
21:22Just burn.
21:22We don't need to know...
21:23I should go.
21:24No.
21:24I...
21:25I help the poor.
21:33What?
21:33I care so much about social justice.
21:36Malcolm, what are you...
21:37I'm not bad.
21:38I'm good.
21:38I'm not bad.
21:39I'm really good.
21:40And I'm smart.
21:42Which I remember that you don't care about because I listen.
21:44And I know how to tie shoelaces away so they never come untied.
21:47And I love you.
21:48Oh, I should have led with that, but I'm panicking.
21:50I'll start over.
21:51I can't be around you right now.
21:53I understand.
21:55I'll...
21:56I'll be here whenever you're ready.
21:59That won't be until I can trust you again.
22:04If ever.
22:07The cops.
22:08I didn't get any sleep at all.
22:10Dad's always been a loud crier.
22:12Guys, what are you doing still in your PJs?
22:16Party's in 32 hours.
22:18We still have a lot to do.
22:19According to your 20 bullet point schedule for today,
22:21I have more than enough time to finish my store brand cereal.
22:25That was before I realized that my dress only looks right with open-toed shoes.
22:28I had to add an emergency pedicure.
22:30My toes look like twisted walnuts.
22:34It's all that water.
22:35Is dad finally asleep?
22:37No.
22:37He got up over an hour ago to help run errands.
22:40Come on, you guys.
22:42Let's go.
22:43Get the lead out.
22:46See?
22:47Completely normal.
22:48Don't be nervous.
22:49I'm not nervous.
22:50I'm desperate.
22:51I only have one day to shake off all this depression and anger
22:54so I don't ruin the party for Lois.
22:56Well, this will help.
22:58Microdosing is the best thing I ever did.
23:00It's how I lost all that weight
23:01and got a handle on my gambling addiction.
23:04I replaced it with porn.
23:07Greetings, Voyagers.
23:09Namaste.
23:10Namaste.
23:11Richie?
23:13Hal!
23:14Great to see you.
23:15How's Francis?
23:16How's the family?
23:17I don't care.
23:18I need help.
23:19Worry not.
23:20I have many weeks' experience
23:21as a hallucinogenic scientist, shaman, concierge.
23:25We see your pain, truth seeker.
23:28We have incredible shit to deal with it.
23:30Let me give you a tour of our trip-a-tory.
23:32I don't need a tour.
23:34Indulge me.
23:36Help.
23:36Please.
23:37Please.
23:40Couch.
23:41Cot.
23:41Water.
23:42Bathroom.
23:43We recommend starting in our central chair.
23:46Some people call it a dream platform.
23:48Others, a launch pad to enlightenment.
23:50Either way, there's a puke bucket next to it.
23:54Oh, uh, we already paid.
23:55I used my coupon.
23:56Don't forget.
23:57That doesn't include tip.
23:58Right.
24:02This is the medicine.
24:05Air quotes are for the lawyers.
24:07Since you're new to this, we'll start you out with a 1.5.
24:12Where'd they go?
24:14He swallowed them.
24:15All of them?
24:16I have to divvy them out.
24:18You ate 60 milligrams.
24:20Is that too much?
24:21Well, not if you're like 15 elephants.
24:25We gotta get your stomach pumped.
24:27No!
24:28It's the only chance I have left.
24:31I'm going in.
24:38I'm gonna need a bigger bucket.
25:01I'm gonna need a bigger bucket.
25:04It's the only chance I have left.
25:05I'm gonna need a bigger bucket.
25:07Go!
25:07Go!
Comments