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Taskmaster - S18E03 - The Gangsters of the Sea [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
Transcript
00:16I
00:16Know you
00:30I
00:36Welcome to taskmaster the olympics for funny people and like elite athletes
00:41Archimedes have been in training for this their whole careers and similarly one slip-up could see them never compete
00:48again
00:48Lose their homes and end up singing sweet Caroline in a high street having drunk a pint of plant feed
00:54they stole from a garden center
00:56The stakes are high and the rewards are low
01:01Let's meet them now, please welcome Andy's
01:05Goldsmith
01:21Next to me a man who secretly confided in me that he doesn't think community liaison officers are real police
01:29Challenges any of them who meet him to kick him hard
01:44Okay, let's begin yes, and what a way to begin because the prize category this week is the object with
01:51the most soul
01:54Okay, I
01:55Know oh indeed as a guy in a band I get a lot of people stopping me and saying you
02:00are
02:01soul
02:02But it's not about me. It's about Greg
02:05Giving maximum points to the object with the most soul all right, Rosie. Should we start with you?
02:10No
02:13It was rhetorical
02:15It's we are starting with you
02:17All right, what I brought to make me more soulful is a saxophone
02:28Yes, it is
02:30Can I play a saxophone?
02:35No
02:36Can I carry around a saxophone?
02:43Yes
02:44Yeah
02:45No
02:45No
02:46No
02:50No
02:51That's my soul
02:51That is going to score badly
02:54Badly
02:56What's your favorite saxophone song?
02:59if you can give me one
03:03Then I'm Mike
03:04You bought something in that has the most soul I brought in a Furby
03:33I don't know if anybody remembers what Furbies would get up to but basically they're kind of
03:39We're a bad babe, and they start off like that
03:42Then as time goes on they start to learn from you and eventually they're able to say I love you
03:51Also it opens it little beat with a little tongue
03:53You put your finger in and it's like love that oh
03:58La la la soul if I put my finger in your mouth you wouldn't mind it and that's so I
04:07Like a Furby as much as the next person okay, but you think that a plastic
04:12Fur based toy going dib-dub-dub-dub is sold
04:16I'm not gonna be able to convince you of this. I just know it to be my truth
04:25She's good she's good
04:28What have you brought in I bought James Brown in?
04:33Technically not not actually James Brown, but I have brought in an effigy of James Brown, which is all singing
04:39all dancing
04:41The budget on this show won't allow us to hear him singing so if I did it without the tune.
04:46Oh, I feel good
04:52We're not allowed to say lyrics either
04:55Oh, I feel wood
04:58There you go
05:00Are you ready to see the godfather of soul? I am here. He is here we go
05:05He goes oh, I feel wood. Oh
05:09I feel wood
05:18Jesus Christ this is going to be a low-scoring round
05:22Andy yes, what soulful thing have you brought? I brought a shoe ready to see it
05:26but
05:29Obviously a shoe has a soul, but the soles of the shoes are Dover soles
05:37There's a speaker in the lower of the two shoes
05:40It's programmed to play only soul music the likes of James Brown and the wreath of Franklin bananarama
05:46We'll imagine
05:47We'll imagine it
05:48Yeah, there's a picture of the Sun in Spain or
05:51soul
06:22I'm sorry
06:22I'm not finished yet Greg
06:22Once they build it they put it in the streets of Lagos or whatever town in Nigeria and what it
06:28does
06:28They believe it absorbs the language of the people as they're in the streets talking
06:33So when you hit it, it sounds like the language being spoken, so I tried this out tried it out
06:39I live in Stevenage and
06:44The capital of soul yeah, I put it outside
06:48I hit it and it literally said you prick and so
06:53That's the most soulful thing in this whole line up right now the Nigerian talking drum people
07:05I
07:05Hope the rest of you are ashamed of yourself
07:09Let's go move on. What is the least soulful? What do you think?
07:14The saxophone yeah, of course
07:17Okay, I'll give Emma two points for daring to suggest as any soul in a Furby
07:23Jack at least he chose the godfather of soul, but then he had him behead himself on television
07:29Sorry
07:31Three points got it Andy made an effort sure. It's a series of awful puns around the world
07:37So we know that sure he's dressed as a wizard for no reason
07:42And the only person who actually bought anything of any consequence in his Baba so he gets five these are
07:48my judgments
07:54Well done
07:55Time shall we begin Alex? Yes, Greg commence countdown
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19:13Do you think I should disqualify the salad?
19:15What's the timing of this?
19:17Yeah, yeah.
19:18You haven't yet said that.
19:20Let's get to that first.
19:22Well, I can tell you Rosie put
19:25Rocket in her pocket in 2 minutes 40.
19:27Yeah, let's take away the point.
19:32Yeah
19:33Jack pocketed rocket in 1 minute 59
19:35Wow
19:36That's
19:37No, no, no, no, no, no, that was my boy.
19:40Yeah, um, everything he said, I'mma back it.
19:46I've got news for you.
19:47I am going to allow rocket.
19:49And I want you to know this.
19:51I may not have allowed rocket if it wasn't for this wizard.
19:55LAUGHTER
19:58Rocket stance. In that case, it's one point to Emma, two to Andy,
20:02three to Bubba, four to Rosie, but five to Mr Jack Dean.
20:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:09Is it scoreboard time? It is.
20:12Bubba, with your speedy rocket, you are in joint first place
20:14with Jack Dean on eight points.
20:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:22Please, we have another task. Oh, yes.
20:25Now, for some physical art.
20:39Yo! What's going on?
20:41Hello, Bubba. Man-like.
20:43You're on dry land. Dry land, yeah.
20:45Yeah, you've been at sea.
20:48No, it's a caravan, bro. It's a submaravan.
20:50LAUGHTER
20:55Do I? You do.
21:01We create a famous 2D piece of art in 3D.
21:12Most creative recreation wins.
21:17Do I look like I go to art exhibitions?
21:19I'll go to an art exhibition, my guy.
21:22You have 20 minutes.
21:23Your time starts now.
21:26Right.
21:27Famous 2D piece of art in 3D.
21:31You understand it?
21:32Because I understand it.
21:33What's the matter with you?
21:34What do you think I'm sick?
21:35You kept saying recreation.
21:37Because I said recreation instead of recreation,
21:38but, you know, they are the same spelling, aren't they?
21:42APPLAUSE
21:45Well, I'm just excited to see these.
21:483D art.
21:49OK, would you like to see a montage of them arting hard?
21:51I want to see a hard art montage.
21:54OK.
21:55Here you are.
21:56Oh, my God.
22:01Noisy?
22:01It's really noisy.
22:03I hate bloody flowers.
22:05Don't give a flying toss about no damn flowers.
22:10It needs to go far corner.
22:12Far back as it goes, I think.
22:18Hi.
22:18Hi.
22:20Um.
22:23Are you all right?
22:24Yeah, I'm all right.
22:25Uh...
22:25Shall I shit here?
22:28Let's see who's Dutch is here.
22:30Oh, I should.
22:30Yes.
22:31OK.
22:32The Andy Warhol ones
22:36did he do baked beans...
22:41Soup?
22:42Baked beans is a lump of soup.
22:51Does this look like a human mother?
22:55I need to get my thug pose on.
22:58You look like a thug.
22:59No gang affiliation over here, bruv.
23:01Apart from the church.
23:03I go church, I gangbang for Jesus.
23:05You get me?
23:06OK.
23:08I don't know if you're celebrating a goal, but really upset.
23:11Oh, upset?
23:12Yeah.
23:15Did you do that?
23:16Yeah.
23:17Wow.
23:18Yeah, did that.
23:19I'm slipping in.
23:21Oh!
23:22Oh!
23:22That feels gross!
23:26APPLAUSE
23:28Oh, my God.
23:33Who of us in this room isn't blown away by how much Jack D looks like Van Gogh?
23:38LAUGHTER
23:40I thought he was literally like the man came back to life.
23:44Oh, my God.
23:46Baba, did you have some sort of traumatic instance in your life with flowers?
23:49Why?
23:49You're the only person I've ever met who hates flowers.
23:51I quote,
23:52I don't give a flying toss about no damn flowers.
23:56You know what it is?
23:57Yes, I'm traumatised by how much my wife requests flowers.
24:00Cos when I'm walking on the street, people will be like,
24:02Oh, he's in the doghouse.
24:03It's like, I ain't in no damn doghouse.
24:05You know what I'm saying?
24:06How often do you buy your wife flowers?
24:08Oh, oh.
24:10LAUGHTER
24:12LAUGHTER
24:12Not including the ones you take off lampposts.
24:16LAUGHTER
24:17LAUGHTER
24:18LAUGHTER
24:19LAUGHTER
24:20Um, Emma.
24:21I'm already quite impressed, cos I already know what your painting is.
24:24Really?
24:25It's klempt, right?
24:26Yeah.
24:26Mm-hm.
24:27Well, look, I'm going to show you Emma's 3D version of the well-known painting.
24:31Let's see it in all its glory.
24:32Here we go.
24:41MUSIC PLAYS
24:42LAUGHTER
24:43Ah, that's good.
24:45APPLAUSE
24:45Well done.
24:46That was quite a good one.
24:49Yeah.
24:51I mean, it's so rarely on this show that I just have to just,
24:54say, oh, that's good.
24:55Yeah, it was good.
24:57The original sparked a sexual revolution.
24:59Do you think hers will?
25:01Nah.
25:02I can't feel anything.
25:05LAUGHTER
25:06It's really good, Emma.
25:08OK, well, shall we see another?
25:09Yes.
25:09Well, as you might have worked out, Andy Zoltzman took on
25:12the almighty Guernica by Pablo Picasso.
25:14Wow.
25:15LAUGHTER
25:15So, first of all, we're going to look at the original.
25:18Now, Picasso obviously made the incredibly moving and powerful
25:21anti-war painting to help raise awareness and raise money
25:24during the Spanish Civil War.
25:25It's harrowing.
25:25And here's Andy Zoltzman's 3D recreation.
25:35LAUGHTER
25:38APPLAUSE
25:44I mean, we have to reward ambition.
25:48It's incredibly ambitious.
25:50I mean, I just feel, amongst the many things this show doesn't
25:53address, the pity of war is right up there.
25:58Cow's the wrong way round.
26:00LAUGHTER
26:04Sorry, Emma, have you...
26:05You've spotted an inaccuracy in this painting.
26:08LAUGHTER
26:10Well done, wizard.
26:11OK, well, next up, with his 3D nod to self-portrait with bandaged ear.
26:15Right, well, we already know this looks exactly like it.
26:17Because we've got his face in the room.
26:19Yep, it's Vincent Jank Goff.
26:20Here we go.
26:24LAUGHTER
26:25LAUGHTER
26:28Yes.
26:29LAUGHTER
26:38Who would have thought that anyone could look more haunted
26:42than Vincent Van Gogh?
26:45LAUGHTER
26:47Van Gogh looks like it's his birthday, by comparison.
26:52Another one, really good.
26:54This is the worst episode of Taskmaster ever.
26:57OK, time for another break
26:58and, probably, some more adverts for holidays in the sun.
27:02Costa Living Crisis?
27:03Yeah, more like Costa Del Sol Living La Vida Loca Crisis.
27:07Let's whack it over to the credit card.
27:10Wayne Lineker, call me YOLO!
27:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:24Come on, guys.
27:25Here we are. It's part three, and some classic artworks are being brought to life in a three-dimensional way.
27:32Cool. Yeah, I love 3D.
27:34But I also like Harry Styles' solo stuff.
27:37LAUGHTER
27:37Next up, there's the artist currently known as Rosie Jones.
27:42BLOOMER!
27:43Andy Warhol from Campbell Soups.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:56APPLAUSE
27:58APPLAUSE
28:09It's really good, yeah, it's good. Everyone liked it.
28:12Do you like it?
28:14Not that much.
28:15LAUGHTER
28:16One left, Greg.
28:18Yes.
28:18One left, and this man doesn't go to art galleries, he hates flowers.
28:22It's Bubba's turn.
28:23MUSIC PLAYS
28:29Ah...
28:31It is good.
28:33APPLAUSE
28:36APPLAUSE
28:39APPLAUSE
28:42Oh, sorry, sorry about that.
28:45Do you like that, Greg?
28:48LAUGHTER
28:49Tell me how about...
28:50Well, yes, yes, of course I do.
28:52Yes, you do.
28:53You see the angle? You know what I'm saying?
28:54This is what I'm trying to say. I keep telling people I'm amazing.
29:01Well, look, Greg, here are all five of the excellent 3D picks.
29:05Well, I'm going to have to give everyone a really high score, aren't I?
29:07And then we'll just have to hope they fuck up the next task.
29:10So I'll give everyone five points.
29:18OK, what's next, please, Mr Alex Hall?
29:21OK, well, Greg, we're off to the pub. Ooh!
29:36In you go.
29:39Oh, hello!
29:42Lovely!
29:44Oh, we have company.
29:45Where's Alex?
29:47Who cares?
29:49Oh, lovely.
29:52Do you want... Yes, please.
29:53Oh, thank you so much.
29:54Would you like to...
29:55Yeah, sure.
29:56Yes.
29:59Win the pub quiz by cheating.
30:01The team that wins by cheating in at least five different ways wins.
30:06If the quiz master notices you cheating, you will lose a point
30:10and you must use a different method of cheating.
30:13This quiz will start in five minutes.
30:15Your time starts now.
30:17OK, so we need ways of cheating.
30:19Mobile phone.
30:24Here he is.
30:26Hi, guys.
30:26Are you doing a pub quiz tonight?
30:28Great.
30:31I'll come and get your team name soon.
30:32Have I got time to go to the toilet?
30:37Yeah, quiz starts in three minutes.
30:39Good thinking.
30:40Yeah.
30:40There's your answer sheet.
30:41Are you all right?
30:42OK.
30:43There's your answer sheet for the first two rounds.
30:46OK, enjoy.
30:46Anyone need anything?
30:47Good luck.
30:48Enjoy.
30:49Yes.
30:51What did you get?
30:53I got my phone.
30:55What's that?
30:55Do you think?
30:57I'm going to take a piece of beer.
30:59How do you intend to use that without being noticed?
31:02That's the next challenge.
31:05It's all common, you.
31:07Keep, keep.
31:08Yeah, it might do.
31:10Oh, what's up?
31:11One of you look after you.
31:12A little book of...
31:12That's Sue Perkins' number.
31:15Do you have your phone?
31:16Save that now.
31:178-7-2.
31:18Quiz starts in 45 seconds, guys.
31:20Cheers, mate.
31:21OK.
31:22Team name, please.
31:23GK, picky people.
31:25We're team honesty.
31:26Team honesty.
31:27That's funny.
31:28And have you got a team name?
31:30Cheetahs, but like they're animals.
31:33Cheetahs?
31:34Just Cheetahs with a Z.
31:35C-H-E-T-A-H-Z.
31:40Cheetahs.
31:41OK, right.
31:42I'm just going to get my microphone and then we'll be off.
31:43Yeah.
31:43Yeah.
31:44I've got something a little bit provocative to say.
31:47Are you both married?
31:49Mm-hm.
31:50I'm also married.
31:52Mm-hm.
31:52I was thinking, like, maybe just kiss and cheat.
31:54Right.
31:55Handshake?
31:56I don't know if it's that kind of cheating.
31:58Yeah.
31:58Check that.
32:04I can remember what's in there.
32:06OK.
32:07All right, remember.
32:09Um, what's in your right hand?
32:11Nothing.
32:13It's just falling on the floor there.
32:15I will put the books in my area.
32:17Can I have the guide to the Beavers, please?
32:19And also AirPods out.
32:21You're so strict!
32:22Yes.
32:23Sorry, I didn't see it down there.
32:24Mm-hm.
32:24Sorry about that, bro.
32:25Excuse me.
32:27Hello? Hello?
32:28Pretty much back to square one.
32:29Hello?
32:30Is everyone here?
32:36Are you pub quizzers before we start?
32:38No.
32:39I think it's a waste of pub time.
32:42Every Monday.
32:43Thank you, Emma.
32:44Do you really, Emma?
32:45Yeah, genuinely.
32:47Hugh, what's your team called?
32:49Um, no arguments.
32:52Cos we have a problem with arguing,
32:55so one day we realised,
32:56oh, if we called no arguments,
32:57maybe we'll stop.
32:58Oh.
32:59So now we just argue on the way home.
33:02It's me and my husband.
33:06All right, then.
33:06You want to see the quiz?
33:07I want to see the quiz.
33:08OK, pens down, heads up or something.
33:11It's time to quiz!
33:13Welcome to the ship.
33:14Welcome to the pub quiz.
33:16OK, question one.
33:17What is the largest species of rodent?
33:20What is the largest species of rodent?
33:23Not that.
33:24It's got a mouse.
33:26In what year was Mary Queen of Scots executed by her cousin?
33:31Elizabeth First, of course.
33:33In what year...
33:34I'm just going to faint choking.
33:36I got cramp.
33:38Oh!
33:39Oh, just move around the room a bit.
33:41Oh, my God!
33:43Yeah.
33:44Oh, man.
33:46It's quite early in the quiz to get cramp.
33:48Oh, yes.
33:49Right.
33:49She just needs to be...
33:51Yeah.
33:52Yeah.
33:53Yeah.
33:53Yeah.
33:54Wait.
33:55Oh!
33:57There's a hat there, though.
33:58Moo!
34:00Moo!
34:03Moo!
34:03Moo!
34:04Moo!
34:04Yeah.
34:05Feeling better now.
34:06See you later.
34:08We do need to carry on with the quiz.
34:09See you later.
34:10Question three.
34:11What is the boiling point of mercury?
34:14It's 500.
34:15Yeah.
34:15Do you think it's that?
34:16Yes.
34:17Mercury.
34:18How are you getting on?
34:19What do the following states have in common?
34:22Oh!
34:23Oh!
34:25Come down!
34:26Come down and help!
34:27What do you...
34:28Come down and help, mate!
34:29That's not really how it works.
34:30No, you don't come down and help.
34:31What's wrong?
34:33Basically...
34:33Yeah.
34:34I feel so sick.
34:35OK.
34:36I feel really nauseous.
34:37Do you want a blanket?
34:38Yeah.
34:39I was going to get her a blanket, apparently.
34:40OK, yeah, please.
34:45OK.
34:46Phone's away, please.
34:48I see what you're doing there.
34:53Round two.
34:54Sport!
34:55If I potted a red, then a black, then a red, then a black, then a red, then a pink,
35:03then a red, then a yellow, then a red, then a black, then a red, then a brown, then a
35:06red, then a green, then all the colours, what would my break be worth?
35:09I'll be honest with you, I think this is when we do a quick romantic cheat.
35:13Right.
35:15So can I just give you a quick...
35:17There we go.
35:18Let's never speak of it again.
35:25What is Sue Perkins' favourite sport?
35:28Oh!
35:28What is Sue...
35:29I need a sick bucket now!
35:31A big bucket.
35:33Yeah.
35:35Cool, Sue Perkins.
35:36Hi, it's Sue here.
35:38Sorry, I can't take your call.
35:39Come on, Sue!
35:40I'm going to need some water hockey.
35:41What?
35:41Hockey.
35:42Hockey.
35:43Hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey.
35:44Come to have a look.
35:47What is Sue Perkins?
35:52Hello, everyone.
35:53OK.
35:53Hiya!
35:54The answers.
35:55Have you all swapped sheets?
35:56No, sorry, we just got them all mixed up.
35:58Quick as you can, please.
36:00Let's swap with...
36:02As long as you don't have your own.
36:04As long as we don't have our own sheets.
36:06Good try, though.
36:07The biggest rodent was, of course, please sit down,
36:09Kapubara.
36:1015.87.
36:12356 points.
36:13That would be a break of 70 points.
36:15Sue Perkins' favourite sport was, and still is, football.
36:19It's hockey.
36:21It's not, it's football.
36:22Sorry, I have to be very passionate about this.
36:25Yeah.
36:26Sue Perkins is my best friend.
36:29It's hockey.
36:30Well, I've got a hand before we give her a call.
36:32Give her a call.
36:32I'm sorry, I don't want to be worried about this.
36:34Can we call her now?
36:34Give her a call now.
36:36Call her now.
36:36Put it on the speaker, let's hear it.
36:38Hi, it's Sue here.
36:40Sorry, I can't take your call, but I'm at the underwater hockey.
36:45Which is a shame, because I actually really love football.
36:52Underwater football.
36:53Have you just caught up the scores?
36:56The sporty foodie flag, guys.
36:59Yep.
36:59Zero in round one.
37:01Right.
37:02And then three in round two.
37:06Three, really?
37:07Didn't quite get there.
37:10And round two.
37:12Well, we got three.
37:14We thought we had got more.
37:15Well, rugby ball's right, isn't it?
37:16Yeah, that is...
37:17Well, misspelling.
37:17It's misspelling.
37:19Well, they've misspelt the word misspelling.
37:21Well done, guys.
37:22All right, round three will start in one minute.
37:26APPLAUSE
37:31I mean, some of the most ludicrous over acting.
37:34I mean, Jones went down within seconds, didn't she?
37:38Yeah, good friend.
37:38And then, Emma, I presume a trained actress
37:41when you had your multiple physical collapses.
37:44I never trained, darling.
37:45I never trained.
37:46Oh, it doesn't show.
37:49Do you know what I mean?
37:50Mama was the only one, wasn't he?
37:51Wasn't over acting?
37:53Yes.
37:53But there's more to come, right?
37:55They're only halfway through.
37:56They've both pretty much neck and neck.
37:57I've caught them a few times,
37:58but there is a second half to come.
37:59That's the end of part three.
38:01Come back for part four
38:02and see someone take home some soulful prizes.
38:05It'll be like watching your kid in a school play,
38:07except shorter and fun,
38:09and you won't have to stave off boredom
38:10by imagining having an affair with a teacher.
38:13Just me?
38:26Hello!
38:27Welcome back to the final part of the show
38:29where a pub quiz is taking place in the ship.
38:32On with the second half of the quiz
38:33where the two teams have to win by cheating
38:35at least five times
38:37without being caught by old eagle-eyes horn,
38:39the handsome quiz master.
38:40Here's how they get on.
38:43Round three, picture round.
38:45Question one.
38:45What is Alex Horne holding?
38:48Phones away, please.
38:50What country's flag has a green triangle on the left?
38:53I do have a cramp again.
38:57Please sit down.
38:58Don't be a bore, bro.
38:59Come on, man.
39:00We're getting drunk.
39:01Question three.
39:01Please sit down.
39:02Alex, I've got a delivery.
39:04A delivery?
39:04Just checking if the guy's at the front door.
39:07This is the pub.
39:08Right.
39:09Yeah!
39:10Yeah!
39:10Yeah, you're right.
39:16Yeah, I don't think anyone saw that.
39:18Oh!
39:20Oh!
39:21Oh!
39:22What?
39:23What?
39:24There's no one there.
39:25Oh, God.
39:26What animal features on Albania's flag?
39:29Right, we'll be back in two minutes with the answers.
39:33What?
39:41What?
39:42Oh, God.
39:42Oh, God.
39:42Oh, God.
39:43We are...
39:46Yo!
39:47Yo!
39:48Yo!
39:49Oh!
39:50Oh!
39:52Oh!
39:55Okay.
39:57OK.
39:58This thing is inside.
40:01Hello, everyone.
40:02Hiya.
40:03Hiya.
40:04OK.
40:05The answers.
40:06Please swap papers.
40:08Round three, the picture round.
40:09OK, what was I holding?
40:10What was redacted there?
40:12A colander.
40:15How did you know that?
40:17It's just the expression.
40:19It's a colander.
40:20And it was a colander?
40:21Yeah.
40:22I love the colander.
40:24Mmm.
40:25Thanks for coming, everyone.
40:26That is closing time now, so...
40:28Woo!
40:29Please get out.
40:29Thank you. Bye-bye.
40:30Bye-bye.
40:31Cheers, guys.
40:37First of all, I will tell you the scores in the quiz.
40:41Andy, Emma and Bubba got 22 out of 30.
40:43Jack and Rosie got 23 out of 30.
40:45Oh, God.
40:46But we subtract points from the amount of times I caught them cheating.
40:49I caught the team of three six times.
40:51I caught the team of two nine times,
40:54which means the team of three win the quiz.
40:56Wow!
40:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:59There we go.
41:03It was close, so I don't know how you want to distribute points.
41:05Five and four?
41:06There we go.
41:07So four is the team of two.
41:08Five is the team of three!
41:09APPLAUSE
41:10Very good!
41:10Very good!
41:11Very good!
41:12Very good!
41:14Can we get the scores out?
41:15Yes, we can have a first look at the series scores if you want, Greg.
41:18Ooh, yes, please.
41:19Mm.
41:19Well, it's sort of going like this.
41:21We've got Andy on 37, Bubba on 40, Emma on 42,
41:24then we jump to Rosie on 46, Jack's on 53 at the moment.
41:28Woo!
41:29APPLAUSE
41:32OK, it's that time again.
41:34Please head to the stage for the final task of the show!
41:46What is going on?
41:49We found their doppelgangers!
41:51LAUGHTER
41:55It's uncanny!
41:57Are you just going to read the task, Alex?
41:59I'd like Jack D to read the task, please, Greg.
42:01Oh, Jack, would you read it?
42:02Yeah, OK.
42:03LAUGHTER
42:04Russell Russell, Phil Phil, Mark Mark, Rob Rob and Pat Pat.
42:09When Alex blows his whistle,
42:11you must all immediately either say one word to the person next to you
42:15or perform one action.
42:17The people may only say yes or no.
42:20If you perform the wrong action, you are disqualified.
42:23You will then meet a new person.
42:25First person to perform all the right actions to all the right people wins.
42:30Yes, so you're sitting next to somebody who's either called Mark,
42:33Pat, Russell, Rob or Phil.
42:35So, if you think they're called Mark, you put a mark on their clipboard.
42:38If you think they're called Pat, you pat them on the head.
42:40If you think they're called Russell, you Russell them.
42:42You know what I mean?
42:44If you think they're called Rob, you steal one of their pencils.
42:46If you think they're called Phil, you put your stuffing down their top.
42:50LAUGHTER
42:50If you find out that you're sat next to, for example, Mark,
42:53you have to wait till the next time you meet Mark to mark Mark.
42:56If you correctly fill Phil or Mark Mark or Rob Rob or Russell Russell,
43:00you will get a little sticker on your arm.
43:02The first person to get all five of them wins five points.
43:05No one gets any other points.
43:07If you do the action wrong, you're out of the game.
43:10OK, once we get going, it's less complicated.
43:13LAUGHTER
43:13Let's go.
43:14Rob.
43:16No.
43:16Phil.
43:17No.
43:18Russell.
43:18No.
43:19Mark.
43:20No.
43:20Pat.
43:21No.
43:22Move!
43:23We're off.
43:24Phil.
43:25No.
43:26Rob.
43:26Yes.
43:27Move!
43:28If you think you've got it right, you have to remember till next time.
43:31Mark.
43:32Yes.
43:32Pat.
43:33Yes.
43:35Not yet!
43:36Sit down!
43:37Hey!
43:39Move!
43:40Now move!
43:41Now move!
43:42Move!
43:44It's not very often you'll see Alex genuinely annoyed, ladies.
43:48So, here we go.
43:49Wait, wait, what are their names again?
43:53It's worth trying to remember them.
43:54It's Mark, Pack, Russell, Robin, Phil.
43:59Rob.
43:59Rob.
44:00Rob.
44:01Move!
44:01For...
44:02Good.
44:05Rob.
44:06Not mine.
44:07There has been a successful action.
44:10Move!
44:20We have a disqualification.
44:21Bubba has got this person wrong.
44:23You must stand behind your chair.
44:24He is disqualified.
44:25Oh, Bubba.
44:26At this rate, I don't care.
44:27Right.
44:29Move.
44:30Okay.
44:32Ohhh, shit!
44:36That's definitely a little problem, sorry.
44:37not his name okay we've got some more action this is good we have more actions move please move
44:53we have action over there
44:55please move
45:02we have a disqualification jack d is gone
45:04jack's gone only three left in the game right you're gonna kill me
45:14rossall mark phil
45:21okay and just you know thank you emma emma has one sticker the wizard has one sticker rosie has two
45:27stickers she's got two i know she's playing you emma she knows exactly what she's
45:34doing here we go move move move some action going on
45:43the wizard has another sticker and move we have more action here the wizard has three stickers
45:55four stickers we could be approaching the end game
46:09we will add those scores to the final score come down and join me
46:20what a rush all right well as you saw there was only five points to one person there and that
46:27person was mr andy zoltzman the wizard had his revenge that means the final table today looks
46:35like this he's only gone undone it the winner with 21 points is andy zoltzman
46:43andy zoltzman wins please go up and celebrate with your soulful prizes
46:49your soulful prizes
47:19You
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