00:07Transcrição e Legendas Pedro Negri
00:33Hello! Hello! Thank you! I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster. Daddy's back and he's got five naughty children who need
00:42to sit on the naughty step. Let's hope they behave themselves and do well in the task because...
00:48Papa has big slippers and a hair-trigger spanking arm.
00:51LAUGHTER
00:54APPLAUSE
00:58Here we go. Please welcome our five formidable fighters. They are...
01:18And sitting next to me, a man who secretly confessed to me that he finds all women's sport slow, boring
01:26and undignified.
01:27LAUGHTER
01:30APPLAUSE
01:33Hi, Greg. Hi.
01:34Well, look, I thought we should go mad at the beginning and have a game of charades. Yeah? Yeah. You
01:39up for that? Yep.
01:40OK, here we go. This is the only one. Ooh, look. Hmm. OK.
01:45Can of beans, yeah. Ooh, look, there's Jack Dee. Ooh. But also, watch this, huh?
01:50Hello, Greggy! Ooh! What is it?
01:55LAUGHTER
01:57They can say anything at all. We can say anything!
02:00Anything.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:01Do you know what it is? What? Jack and the Beans talk.
02:04Jack and the Beans talk.
02:06LAUGHTER
02:07APPLAUSE
02:09Good one.
02:11Right, first price task of a series. What's the category, Alex?
02:14I was shocked when you told me it, Greg, because it's the best thing that has been inside you.
02:20LAUGHTER
02:21I know.
02:22Unbelievable. My mum's watching this and I've been inside her.
02:26LAUGHTER
02:26Greg will give five points for the thing he thinks is best and, at the end of the episode, the
02:30overall winner will take home something that has been inside each of the four people they've been sitting next to
02:35and themselves.
02:36Yummy in my tummy. Your turn.
02:38Andy Saltzman.
02:39Yes, yes, Greg.
02:40What have you brought that's, um, been inside you?
02:43Well, the best thing that's been inside me, Greg, is my lung.
02:46LAUGHTER
02:47It is Andy's lung.
02:49Oh!
02:50Mmm.
02:51Ah, God.
02:52The winner's going to take home.
02:53But that's not Andy's lung, is it? It's because otherwise Andy would be dead.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:57Well, it just gives me a great incentive to win this show so I get them back at the end.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:03Have you had those lungs inside you?
03:05Yes, I have.
03:06You have not?
03:07I have.
03:08LAUGHTER
03:09You don't like it?
03:10I don't like them, no.
03:11They don't work within the limit of the task.
03:14Right.
03:14And they make me feel sick.
03:16LAUGHTER
03:17What thing have you brought in that I might like that you've had inside you?
03:21I brought something that you will definitely like.
03:24It is Jamaican oxtail.
03:26It's beautiful.
03:27I'm Nigerian, but I love Jamaican food, so that's what I brought.
03:30And this is some oxtail stew here.
03:33I'm not going to lie.
03:34That looks disgusting.
03:37LAUGHTER
03:38But I'm telling you it tastes delicious.
03:40You know what I'm saying?
03:40Has that been inside you?
03:42Yes.
03:42Same batch?
03:43Same batch.
03:44I mean, the idea of this, that you bring slightly surprising things in, Baba,
03:47you've just brought in the thing that you like to eat.
03:49Yes!
03:50Yes!
03:52Baba, it looks delicious.
03:53Apart from the sticks that have been thrown on top of it.
03:57However, what have you brought in that you might have had inside yourself,
04:01or you have had inside?
04:03So, because it's the best thing that's been inside you, right?
04:06Yes.
04:07I have brought in my ex as represented by a USB stick.
04:13LAUGHTER
04:17I've uploaded a huge amount of material about his life.
04:22It's a bloke.
04:23And, er, he is just a legend.
04:27Is he an actual legend?
04:28Yeah, no, he's not an actual, well, he's just...
04:30He's not King Arthur.
04:31Excuse me!
04:32LAUGHTER
04:35Well, the winner gets to plug it in and have a good look.
04:37And, as a boyfriend, what was his best quality?
04:40Just, like, nice to be around.
04:42He dumped me.
04:45Do he eject you safely?
04:47Yes.
04:54Hello, Jack.
04:55Hello.
04:55You all right?
04:56Yes, very well, thank you, Greg.
04:57OK.
04:59LAUGHTER
05:00What have you had inside you?
05:01I've brought in, er, my...
05:03Well, one of my favourite toothbrushes.
05:06Erm...
05:06Which I had, er...
05:07I used...
05:08I liked it so much, I used it for several years.
05:11And, erm...
05:12Aw.
05:12Thank you, yeah.
05:13LAUGHTER
05:13So I bought this one in 2012.
05:16And, er, I used it until 2022 or something.
05:19Oh!
05:20Here it is!
05:21Oh!
05:23So...
05:23Yeah, there it is.
05:24Jesus Christ, Jack!
05:26Yeah.
05:26It did discolour in the end.
05:29When we told Jack about the competition,
05:31you told him to bring in a good prize, right?
05:34Not to just clear out the shit from his garage.
05:37LAUGHTER
05:38Mr Jones, what have you had inside you that you deemed appropriate to bring on the show?
05:42It is a letter opener.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:47So I have recently started living on my own.
05:53And I love it.
05:56I am naked the whole time.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02That means I get a lot of food on my body.
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10LAUGHTER
06:12And I have recently found out that there's been a smell coming out.
06:23from my belly bucket.
06:27LAUGHTER
06:27LAUGHTER
06:29So the finger won't get it.
06:35LAUGHTER
06:35LAUGHTER
06:36That does!
06:38LAUGHTER
06:40I can't get it really deep.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:46And I swear to God, last week I got...
06:53A little bit of umbilical...
06:57LAUGHTER
07:00LAUGHTER
07:00How deep's your belly button?
07:02That's my favourite Bee Gees song, that's...
07:05LAUGHTER
07:10Who has brought in the worst...
07:12Well, it's Baba or Andy, isn't it?
07:13Let's face it.
07:14OK.
07:14So we're going to give Zaltzman and his horrible lungs one point.
07:17OK, Baba, two.
07:18Two to Baba, well done.
07:19Yeah, incredibly, getting three points is a man who lazily grabbed an old toothbrush on his way to the show.
07:26Three to Jack.
07:27You know, it's such an appalling image.
07:29We'll give Rosie Jones five points on this occasion.
07:31There we go.
07:32Four to Emma, five to Rosie!
07:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:35It's a very strong start.
07:37Right, task one, let's get going.
07:38OK, here we go, bro.
07:39And hush your sweet, sweet mouth.
07:44LAUGHTER
07:45MUSIC PLAYS
07:46MUSIC PLAYS
07:52MUSIC PLAYS
07:56MUSIC FADES
07:57MUSIC FADES
07:59MUSIC FADES
08:00MUSIC FADES
08:01LAUGHTER
08:02LAUGHTER
08:03LAUGHTER
08:03LAUGHTER
08:03LAUGHTER
08:05I'll sit here, shall I?
08:06Yeah, just in front of, er, Greg.
08:09Look at the state of it.
08:13LAUGHTER
08:14LAUGHTER
08:14Am I lying, Greg?
08:15You're very serious for me.
08:17Just smile more.
08:17I'm not going to lie to you, bro.
08:23LAUGHTER
08:25Do not say any of this outside.
08:28LAUGHTER
08:32LAUGHTER
08:38MUSIC FADES
08:44LAUGHTER
08:47LAUGHTER
08:48LAUGHTERowego
08:52LAUGHTER
09:00LAUGHTER
09:01LAUGHTER
09:03Oh!
09:04Oh!
09:08Oh...
09:08Oh, my...
09:09Do you want to explain this task a little bit?
09:16Not yet.
09:17Oh!
09:19All right, who are we going to see first?
09:20We're going to start with a guy people are already calling Andy Zaltzman.
09:26Are you all right, Andy?
09:30Andy?
09:40Probably not.
09:46So, I want to guess that it takes a lot of time from you too.
09:51Okay, so you got to get all right here.
09:52I gotgie to get...
09:53Oh!
09:58연illi.
09:59.
10:07Coiri.
10:09Estou na hora?
10:10Eu poderia ir com quesadilla.
10:12Se não, eu acho que era uma oportunidade missa.
10:20At o ponto, durante a filmagem para o show, Andy,
10:23você regretava usar o cria-cria?
10:26Eu não tenho sido em uma situação em que eu não pensava que isso seria melhor se eu fosse em
10:31Cricket Whites.
10:33Então, eu tenho no regrets.
10:34Ah, tudo bem, bom.
10:36Isso é encorajado.
10:37Você tem algum regretto estar em um grande trono assim?
10:39Não.
10:40Não fazia o resto de sua vida ser mundane?
10:46Eu acho que agora você disse, sim.
10:50Ele conseguiu sucesso em 7 minutos e 54 minutos.
10:54Não é muito bom, não é?
10:55Mais um pouco mais de uma explicação agora e um pouco mais de uma explicação.
11:01Estar no número 1 para menos 30 segundos semelhante.
11:10BABBA
11:10BABBA
11:11BABBA
11:12BABBA
11:12BABBA
11:13BABBA
11:13BABBA
11:18BABBA
11:21BABBA
11:22BABBA
11:23BABBA
11:47BABBA
12:04O que é isso?
12:19O que é isso?
12:22O que é isso?
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12:32O que é isso?
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12:36O que é isso?
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35:35Vamos para a final break of the night.
35:37Who will not only win the episode
35:39but also take home a lung
35:41and Jack D's rancid old toothbrush?
35:43What an adrenaline rush!
35:44I feel like I'm tripping in Woodstock, man!
35:47See you soon.
35:58Welcome back!
35:59Welcome back to the final part of this new series.
36:02Who's next in line to do something beautiful with bubbles, Alex?
36:06Ooh, a top-notch question, Greg,
36:08and a lovely voice.
36:09It's Rosie and Siddy.
36:11Jones and Emma.
36:21Rosie.
36:22I'm not Rosie.
36:25I am the Bubblegum fairy!
36:32Oh, lights!
36:36Oh, Greg!
36:37Oh, Greg!
36:39I am doing the most beautiful thing with bubbles.
36:42A beautiful babe having a bubble bath.
36:48I am here to grant your three wishes,
36:57but don't tell me them,
37:01cos I know them already!
37:10Oh, Greg!
37:14What are you doing tonight?
37:16What are you doing tonight?
37:17Bubble bath, maybe?
37:19Oh, Greg!
37:22I know that you want more bubbles!
37:31You like bubblegum!
37:37It's a bubblegum!
37:40It's it!
37:41I can't really do bubblegum.
37:42It is!
37:43How much?
37:43More!
37:45More!
37:47More!
37:48More!
37:54And I know you want the bubblegum dance!
38:03Bubblegum fairy!
38:12I can't- I can't blah blah blah.
38:18I'm so much.
38:18Blah!
38:20Blah!
38:22Blah!
38:23Blah!
38:25Oh!
38:27And now I leave wand drop!
38:35Aplausos
38:38Aplausos
38:39Ok
38:41Eu acho que o que a gente tem que...
38:43O que a gente tem que falar sobre é
38:45sua ideia do que é o que é o que é o que é o que é o que é.
38:49No, eu acho que eu não tenho isso.
38:53Do você?
38:55Aplausos
39:02Aplausos
39:05Aplausos
39:06Aplausos
39:07Que por que é o mais bonito
39:10Enquanto
39:13Aplausos
39:15Aplausos
39:21Aplausos
39:22Aplausos
39:24...to be quite irritating.
39:28Omer, vamos falar sobre a sua beauty.
39:30Sim.
39:31Quando você começou eroticamente com a chocolate,
39:34eu pensei que você só olhou hammered.
39:40E eu...
39:41Eu estou muito flutuando para ser uma batha com uma mulher,
39:44mas eu gostaria que ela não tenha sido fechada por 12 pites.
39:48Eu acho que a beauty é o olho do beholder.
39:51E eu sou o olho do beholder.
39:52É totalmente fok.
39:53F...
39:55O que você vai deixar a batha?
40:01O...
40:02O que, a quem é a gigante?
40:03O que, emma?
40:05A 13 vezes.
40:08Não.
40:09Seis, homem.
40:16Olha isso.
40:18O que você acha que é um ponto?
40:21I'll give you a clue!
40:24Um ponto de ver, bom done, mate.
40:26I mean, se a chocolate cobbling woman
40:29of nondescript nationality
40:30hadn't been so drunk,
40:32she might have got more than two points.
40:33Two to Emma.
40:35Got it.
40:35I think the sentiment
40:36of sharing bubbles
40:38with a largely ignored
40:40and often much derided crew
40:43of fun with him
40:44is quite beautiful
40:45and deserves three points.
40:46Three points for Jack.
40:47Got it.
40:48I'm going to give Baba's beautiful daughter
40:49four points.
40:50Four, got it.
40:51We must recognise artistic genius
40:53when we see it
40:53and Andy gets five points.
40:54OK, well done.
40:57OK, then, everyone,
40:58please make your way to the stage
41:00for your first
41:00final task of the show!
41:10Who's reading the task?
41:12Emma is going to read the task.
41:13Is she?
41:14I hope you'll include a wink
41:16in this read.
41:18Excuse me?
41:23Drink the vinegar.
41:26On your turn,
41:28you can either drink from one straw
41:30or not drink at all
41:31and get a clue from Alex instead.
41:33You must stand on the spot
41:34when choosing your straw
41:36and you must never stray
41:37from the spot.
41:38OK.
41:40Only the vinegar drinker wins.
41:43There's five points at stake here.
41:44No one else will get
41:45any points at all, Greg.
41:46Wow!
41:47They can choose to either
41:48tell me which number
41:49they're going to drink from
41:50and then drink from it.
41:51Yep.
41:51Or they can get a clue from me.
41:53The clue refers to the numbers
41:55in front of the straws.
41:56Up you come, Rosie.
41:58APPLAUSE
42:02Rosie, would you like to drink
42:04or get a clue?
42:04So, I'm going to go for it.
42:08OK.
42:08Which number are you going to drink from?
42:09Ten.
42:10Off you go.
42:11Down and...
42:11Whoa!
42:14This is a gift
42:16fighting to happen.
42:20LAUGHTER
42:20Whoa!
42:23Whoa!
42:27Whoa!
42:28Whoa!
42:28Have you drunk vinegar?
42:30No.
42:32I like it.
42:34OK.
42:34A bit fishy.
42:36Yes, it is a bit fishy.
42:37It's tomato juice.
42:39LAUGHTER
42:39OK, Jack, would you like a clue
42:41or drink?
42:42Um...
42:42Let's try a clue.
42:44OK.
42:51You're such a weird man.
42:53LAUGHTER
42:54You must now return to your spot.
42:56Oh, I see.
42:57Oh, a clue from Sam.
42:59I get that.
43:00Clue, clue.
43:01Clue as well?
43:01Yeah, yeah.
43:05APPLAUSE
43:09Clue or drink, brother?
43:10I'm going for a drink.
43:12Here we go.
43:12What number are you going to choose?
43:1416?
43:14Wow, confident.
43:16I'm not...
43:17Do it.
43:17I don't like this, man.
43:20Do you not like a lovely vinegar drink?
43:25Is it vinegar?
43:27No, that ain't vinegar, but...
43:28I don't know.
43:29That's all right.
43:30It's iced tea.
43:30It's iced tea.
43:31It is iced tea.
43:31It's iced tea.
43:32It's iced tea.
43:33It's iced tea.
43:35It's iced tea.
43:39I appreciate that.
43:43Clue or suck?
43:47Clue, please, Alex.
43:48Clue.
43:48Here it comes.
43:49I'm nearly there.
43:49Here I am.
43:51É um monte de isso, não é?
43:54Let me seductively get it out of the way for you.
44:03OK.
44:07I'm going to suck,
44:10but I'm also going to try and get your truth.
44:16Cool.
44:16I think it's a prime number.
44:21I do like them.
44:22No!
44:24So, I'm going to go for 17.
44:29OK.
44:30OK.
44:31Right, Tom.
44:37She drank the vinegar!
44:46OK.
44:48We'll have those five points.
44:49Come down here.
44:50Let's see how that affects the final score!
44:53APPLAUSE
44:58Very good.
44:59So, you getting it, you just guessed it, didn't you?
45:02I thought the clue was a prime number.
45:06Why?
45:06Because Alex is so boring.
45:10Yeah.
45:12Do you see the scoreboard?
45:13Yeah.
45:14It's unbelievable.
45:14She was in third place before, but now she's in first place.
45:16Rosie Jones has 17 points!
45:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:23Rosie Jones wins episode one.
45:25Please go and collect the things that have been inside your rival!
45:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:48AND APPLAUSE
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