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Taskmaster - S19E04 - Midnight Picnic [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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00:02This was a mistake!
00:04Shut up!
00:05Button?
00:14You're mad.
00:16Wow.
00:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:36Hello!
00:37I am Greg Davies.
00:40Welcome once more to Taskmaster.
00:42We all know the score, five trophy-hungry comedians,
00:45rip open some medieval envelopes
00:47and then run around having a breakdown,
00:50which I mark out of five.
00:51I'm a dreamer, and one day those cowards at Channel 4
00:55will take my Squid Games crossover proposal seriously.
00:58But for now, regrettably,
01:00it's only their careers that are in danger.
01:03Their names?
01:04Fatih Al Ghori!
01:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:08Jason Manzuka!
01:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:11Matthew Bainter!
01:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:13Rosie Ramsey!
01:15And Stevie Martin!
01:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:19And next to me, a man who wrote under a pseudonym
01:23to his local paper saying that he thinks
01:25disabled access regulations in shops
01:28are political correctness gone mad.
01:30LAUGHTER
01:31In the Cheshire Gazette, he's Dr Stephen Morris,
01:34but we know him...
01:35LAUGHTER
01:37..and little Alex Hall!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44Hi, Greg.
01:46I've created something just for you.
01:47OK.
01:48I've been working with the National Highways.
01:50I know you love driving.
01:53LAUGHTER
01:53He's good at it.
01:55I've come up with some new road signs.
01:57I used to help everyone, really.
01:58This is, um...
01:59You know, sometimes there's quite a lot of flies.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:02So you'll drive more carefully.
02:05LAUGHTER
02:05Oh, gosh.
02:06OK, there's one.
02:07I've got a lot of these.
02:07This is, um...
02:09Quiet Zone on the road.
02:11Just...
02:11How many...
02:12How many of these are there?
02:13We're halfway.
02:15LAUGHTER
02:15OK, this is a little section of the road.
02:17Well, it's back to the flies, really.
02:18Don't open your windows,
02:19open your mouth because of the fly.
02:20Same fly.
02:21LAUGHTER
02:22OK, this one's for outside our house.
02:23Just try it more carefully.
02:26LAUGHTER
02:28LAUGHTER
02:28A little smile.
02:29There's a little smile.
02:31LAUGHTER
02:31LAUGHTER
02:32That's a good one, eh?
02:33Careful.
02:33Yes, it's a very clever technique of lowering the comedic bar so low.
02:38But just the slightest hint of a joke...
02:40Yeah.
02:41..gets something.
02:42I know what I'm doing.
02:43LAUGHTER
02:44Right, let's crack on with the prize task.
02:46Oh, boring.
02:47Not really, of course.
02:48I love the prize task.
02:50And this time, the category is...
02:51The thing that least suits its name if you shout it loudly
02:55while we're all looking at it on the screen.
02:57Whoa!
02:58Oh, my...
02:59Oh, Greg.
03:00We're not running out of ideas.
03:01And yes, Greg.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:03You will give five points to the thing you think least suits its name
03:07when shouted loudly while we're all looking at it on the screen.
03:10And that is horn over and out.
03:12Right.
03:12Jason.
03:14What thing have you brought in that doesn't suit its name
03:16when it's shouted?
03:17So, will we show it and have the audience shout it
03:20immediately upon its arrival on screen?
03:22If that's what you'd like.
03:23This is your moment.
03:24That's what we're going to do.
03:25So, this is an album that I brought you by a great, wonderful band.
03:29Could we throw it up now, Alex?
03:32Fanny!
03:33LAUGHTER
03:35Now, where I come from, Fanny is a tush.
03:38It's a bum.
03:38Yeah.
03:39Right?
03:39But here I've been told it's not.
03:41And it's quite rude.
03:43What have you been told it is here?
03:45Yeah.
03:45It's a front bum.
03:46Oh.
03:47That's what I call mine.
03:49LAUGHTER
03:50I've never heard anyone call it a front bum except my mum.
03:52Oh, I call it that because your mum calls it that.
03:55LAUGHTER
04:01I'm just happy she's getting laid.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:04Great start.
04:05OK.
04:06Who's next?
04:07Certainly Stevie.
04:08I suppose the same.
04:09We just put it up and everyone shouts it.
04:11Show it!
04:12Show it!
04:14Shuttlecock!
04:15It's got cock in it.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:19Should we discuss this or should we just move on to whoever's got tits?
04:23LAUGHTER
04:24We call this a birdie.
04:25That's just as weird as shuttlecock.
04:27Agreed.
04:28Well, let's find out.
04:29Just shout birdie at it for me.
04:31Birdie!
04:32I think that's better than a shuttlecock.
04:33I think it is.
04:34This is strong.
04:35It does not look like a shuttlecock.
04:37Matthew.
04:38I'm going to shout this because people might mistake it.
04:41So what have you brought in, Matthew?
04:44Mummy!
04:46LAUGHTER
04:48APPLAUSE
04:52You've been raiding the old tombs again, haven't you?
04:55Like our forefathers before us.
04:58Grab it, bring it back to Britain.
05:00Why not?
05:02Elgin Mark II.
05:03Rosie.
05:04I have brought with me...
05:06A LIAR!
05:08LAUGHTER
05:10L-Y-R-E.
05:13LIAR!
05:14And I feel like that's not the first time you've shouted that at some point.
05:17LAUGHTER
05:18I'm a bit thrown by these because normally they all bring such terrible ones in.
05:23And it's quite good.
05:24It's quite strong, isn't it?
05:26Oh, Fatia.
05:27Is it OK if we do the thing where...?
05:29But you'd like the audience to shout your ones?
05:31Please, yeah.
05:31OK, so Fatia's brought in this.
05:34Broom!
05:35I brought in a broom because what is a broom?
05:38Like, that's a sweeper, isn't it?
05:40LAUGHTER
05:41The name doesn't do what it says.
05:43Like, a cooker cooks.
05:44What would you call a car?
05:45Are you saying a car should be called a broom because it goes broom?
05:48Broom, broom.
05:49LAUGHTER
05:50It's actually called an automobile, but we call it car because it's...
05:55And after Alan Carr.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:02She had faith in that sentence all the way up.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:06A car should be called an automobile.
06:07It is called an automobile.
06:09Because it...?
06:10It's mobile, but it's automatically mobile.
06:13That's why it's called that.
06:14What do you call a chair?
06:16What do you call a chair?
06:16Listen, brav!
06:17LAUGHTER
06:19I don't know if she's got a point.
06:21Or...
06:22Absolute madness.
06:23I don't...
06:24I'm going to give Fanny one point because I don't mind it.
06:27I don't mind it.
06:27OK, one point to chase.
06:28I mean, Matt's very clever because you could shout Mummy in such a way
06:31that it does suit it, but he shouted it in a sort of
06:34I've wet my pants way.
06:36LAUGHTER
06:36What's the matter to you?
06:37Broom, three points, and you can thank me for it.
06:40LAUGHTER
06:40Liar.
06:41What a beautiful instrument that is.
06:43So, four points to Liar.
06:44Five points to Shuttlecock.
06:46APPLAUSE
06:49I would very much like a task proper, please, young man.
06:53OK, well, what are your two favourite things, Greg?
06:56Mannequins and wetsuits.
06:58Oh, bingo!
06:59LAUGHTER
07:14Jason.
07:16Alex.
07:17You've got lovely wrists.
07:18Do you mind giving me your wrist?
07:20Which one?
07:24Let's just finish the afternoon.
07:29All right.
07:30Ready?
07:31Yes.
07:31Put the most wetsuits on mannequins.
07:36The mannequins must be wearing their wetsuits properly.
07:40Also, you must tiptoe throughout.
07:42And put your finger on your lips and say shh at least once every 20 seconds.
07:48You have 15 minutes.
07:50And you're going to give me the buzz for that...
07:52Yeah.
07:5320 seconds?
07:54A very small electric shock.
07:55OK.
07:56It seems cruel, but OK.
08:00That'll buzz every 20 seconds to remind you to shh.
08:04Too much...
08:07Shhh.
08:08OK.
08:08Your time starts now.
08:10Tiptoe, please.
08:11Oh!
08:16Pretty straightforward game, I would say.
08:18But before we start, who would like to see Matthew adopt his tiptoe position?
08:23LAUGHTER
08:24Oh, yeah.
08:25Oh, yeah.
08:26Oh!
08:29Oh!
08:29Oh!
08:30Oh, yeah!
08:32Oh!
08:34Oh!
08:47And those people are Manzoukas, Elgory and of course Peyton.
08:51Where are the mannequins?
08:52Tiptoe, please.
08:52Tiptoe, please.
08:54Sshh.
08:55Where are the mannequins?
09:01Sshhh!
09:09Have you found a wetsuit?
09:13None in there.
09:15I can see another one in there.
09:18Why is this locked?
09:20Alex, do you know where the key to this is?
09:22Yeah. Can you tell me?
09:24Normal place.
09:27Shhh.
09:30Here we go with the nonsense.
09:32Here we go.
09:33There's a lot of keys there.
09:34Shhh.
09:36Is there a key in there?
09:37In the lollipop?
09:41Oh, under doormat.
09:46Oh, my God.
09:47I'm not going to get anything done.
09:49This has got something to do with it.
09:52I'm f***ing hate me.
09:55Oh, my God.
09:57Sorry, it's dead.
10:00Shhh.
10:01Shhh.
10:02Shhh.
10:03Shhh.
10:04Where are the wetsuits?
10:11That's crafting materials.
10:13Where are all the f***ing wetsuits?
10:15I see more wetsuits.
10:22I've located several mannequins.
10:25I'm not certain I should be whispering.
10:27And I can't find you in wetsuits.
10:30You've got ten minutes to go.
10:40Oh.
10:43How much time do we have left?
10:45Five minutes twenty.
11:04Sorry, go.
11:04Go.
11:04Go.
11:04The wetsuits.
11:05That's so cool.
11:05You've seen it.
11:06It's seen.
11:06It's seen.
11:06We have nifl.
11:07Is it
11:16Maybe there's that baby mannequin somewhere. Yeah, maybe come on you little fucker one minute 40 left
11:23Three seconds left, okay
11:28That's a wet suit
11:34Please why would I be pleased?
11:37I definitely took my finger off my lips, so I thought I was you take your finger off your lips
11:43That was part of the task wasn't it
11:59That was part of the task right
12:01I mean he was so upset he thought he'd been disqualified because he took it off at one point. Yeah,
12:05I thought about that
12:07More than once a day every day since
12:11Devastation at the end of both of your scenes was quite similar and yet you increasingly are coming across as
12:18a serial killer
12:18You know that
12:20You found the child mannequin and within seconds you said come on you little fuck
12:26Yeah, I don't have time to waste
12:28Question is am I going to allow wetsuit you bloody better. I
12:33Will allow wetsuit. Thank you. It was thinking this is a bit of lateral thinking and we've got a reward
12:38that her baby. Thank you
12:39Oh, hey baby
12:43This place is going to be called mosque master
12:51Time for the first ad break of the episode and a chance for you to take a few moments away
12:57from the intensity of this competition
12:59I'm not going to tell you how to relax
13:01You do you Alex
13:04I
13:21Mannequins wetsuits and shushing of the name of the game and the names of the people playing the game right
13:25now are Stevie and Rosie
13:30Ah
13:31Yes
13:32Found a kid
13:36Lovely
13:38Under the doormat. Yeah, you always get them under the doormat
13:44Right, okay
13:47Wet suit
13:49Oh, this is wet is it? Yeah, I
13:53I thought these things were like a legal not on people weirdly just on drugs
14:00Come on. I imagine this is what marrying all demands like
14:06Oh
14:07Yeah
14:10Come on, mate
14:17I need some more wet suits
14:20Can I have that one that you've got on?
14:23If you don't mind, I don't want to be awkward or weird
14:26Oh
14:28Oh, a child
14:31Who's the home?
14:34Oh
14:35There's another one
14:36Have you got any underwear on?
14:37That's fine, yeah
14:38Sorry
14:38No, that's all right
14:40Thank you
14:43Oh
14:45Right, I'm going in
14:46Okay
14:48Oh
14:49Jackpot
14:56Strawberry
14:57Moor's back
14:59This is weird
15:01I don't think I'm getting paid enough for this
15:04Hmm
15:08Oh
15:08Can you get me your other suits that you've got?
15:11Could you be putting one on later on?
15:14Oh
15:15Oh
15:15Get me ready
15:20Yeah, the time's up
15:23Thank you, Stevie
15:25Thank you
15:26Bye-bye
15:27Bye-bye
15:44Yeah
15:44Apparently the mannequins that I found in the bushes
15:47Yes
15:47Were not part of the task
15:49Yes
15:49That was like a mannequin graveyard
15:51Yeah
15:51Yeah, we used mannequins over the years in this
15:53And the ones that had been too, I guess, punched over the years
15:56We'd just chuck under a tree
15:58And we weren't expecting someone to go foraging for mannequins
16:01Under the tree
16:03Rosie
16:03Talk me through the narrative of the way that you look after this old man
16:07Oh
16:08Quite a bit attached to him, actually
16:09I'm sure I named him
16:10Yes, you gave him names, yeah
16:10Yeah, I named quite a lot of them
16:12Yeah, it was Eric, Eric's brother, and their son, Shearer
16:14Yes
16:16So Eric was the old man
16:18The older guy
16:18That you're in a relationship with
16:19Yeah
16:19And you put his trousers on so violently his arm fell off
16:22Yeah
16:23He gets right on me fucking nerves
16:27Erm
16:28Did they do well?
16:29Yes
16:29Matt's nearly sort of three quarters of one wetsuit onto one mannequin
16:34Oh
16:34Patrick's got a total of one
16:37Jason really went for it and got a total of two and a quarter wetsuits
16:41Stevie, you got three and a half
16:42Rosie, because she used the suits and made them wet
16:45Four in total, so she gets the full five points
16:48There it is
16:49APPLAUSE
16:53Let's see the scoreboard
16:55All right, well, it's interesting
16:56Our winner of the first three episodes is in last place on three points
17:00Whereas Rosie and Stevie are three times as many, they've got nine points each and a joint first
17:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:07Yes!
17:09Yes!
17:10OK
17:11Right, turn on the task, please
17:12Hmm, there is no task
17:15Ooh
17:16No, there is one, really
17:17I was lying
17:18Here we go
17:19LAUGHTER
17:28Hello, Rosie
17:29Hello, Alex
17:30Hello
17:31Alex, how are you?
17:32I'm great
17:33Would you like to?
17:34After you, please
17:35OK
17:36OK
17:37Ahem
17:39Convince the other team that the following things are the opposite of what they are
17:43The liquid in the cup is very hot
17:45Or very cold
17:47The bag is really heavy
17:49Or really light
17:50The paste in the tube is delicious
17:52Or disgusting
17:54Alex is or isn't behind the curtain
17:57Two of you have or haven't met the same really famous person
18:02Most deceptive team wins
18:04You have a maximum of 20 minutes
18:06Your time starts now
18:10OK
18:11I get this
18:12And you're an actor
18:13So you'll be really good at this
18:14So we have to
18:14Oh, what about me?
18:16Yeah, you'll be fine
18:17Are they inclined to believe us?
18:19I mean, A, we're phenomenal actors
18:22So if I go like this
18:25Pretend it's hard
18:26That was very rubbish, bruv
18:28The paste in the tube is deliciously disgusting
18:30OK, it's so hard, isn't it?
18:32The paste in the tube is...
18:33And it's empty
18:34Who's the most famous person you've met?
18:36Well, weirdly
18:37You were just talking about Anne or Ed Sheeran
18:39And you just did a thing with him
18:41Yeah
18:41You've both met Ed Sheeran
18:42Have you not?
18:44Not yet
18:44Bruv, they let anyone on this show swear down
18:50Bruv
18:51OK
18:51Good luck team
18:52Thank you
18:53Yes, thank you
18:54APPLAUSE
18:57Let's go
18:58OK
18:58So one team is going to try to convince the other team
19:01That things are not what they are
19:03We're going to see, first of all
19:04The team of three
19:05Trying to convince the team of two
19:06That the liquid in the cup is very hot
19:08Or very cold
19:09The bag is really heavy
19:10Or really light
19:11And the paste in the tube is delicious
19:12Or disgusting
19:43Well, that was nice, that
19:50This is so soothing
19:52Lovely
19:53And hot
19:56OK
19:57Interesting
19:58Did you go to RADA?
20:04If I don't get a BAFTA for this, I swear down
20:07Erm
20:09Well, there you go
20:09We've never done a live guessing
20:11No, this is interesting
20:12This is interesting
20:12OK, have a little check
20:13I'm going to go over there
20:14Oh, right
20:14Oh, this is nice
20:16Stevie, you can go over there
20:17Come on, yeah, all right
20:23This is nice
20:25I like this
20:26But also, let's do this
20:28Yeah
20:28OK
20:29I'm so sorry
20:30To interrupt the children's midnight picnic
20:34Is there any reason why they can't confer out loud?
20:36No, no, no
20:37It would be much easier all round
20:38But you do whatever you want
20:39That is cold
20:40Are you whispering?
20:41I was going to...
20:44Yeah
20:47It would be nice if we could hear this
20:48Because it's a telly show
20:49Yeah
20:54It's your fault for giving us this opportunity
20:56To do something we've never done before
20:58Look at the ceiling
21:00What's going to happen when we graduate?
21:10So you think Matthew's double bluffing
21:12And that it is in fact heavy?
21:14Matthew's is the only one I think I'm not sure about
21:17I feel like it was disgusting for Rosie
21:19I feel like it was cold for Fatih
21:21I might have something up
21:22Sit down
21:24It's just making me realise
21:26Sit down
21:27Stop making your own rules up
21:30We've got rules already
21:31OK
21:32Erm
21:33What are your answers?
21:35Cold
21:36Disgusting
21:36Heavy
21:37OK
21:38Well, let's see
21:39Here's the truth
21:50What is it?
21:53It's vegan mayonnaise
21:54Vegan mayonnaise
21:55Vegan mayonnaise
21:56Delicious?
21:56No
21:57Hold on
21:58Three of the three
21:59Nailed it
22:00Very good
22:05Really good
22:07You're now going to see Jason and Stevie either lying or not lying
22:12OK
22:12So watch closely
22:13OK
22:14OK
22:16Heavy
22:17Heavy
22:17Heavy
22:18We want it as heavy as possible
22:21OK
22:22OK
22:23OK
22:29Ho ho ho ho ho ho
22:31Hey, Stevie
22:32I uh
22:33I made you some tea
22:34Thank you so much
22:35You're so relevant to the task
22:36Ah
22:36Ooh
22:42Alright
22:43OK
22:43Cheers
22:45Bottoms up
22:51That's absolutely delicious
22:53That's absolutely delicious
22:54Really?
22:55Is that good?
22:58That's quite good
22:59That's quite good
22:59That's not very well
23:02Before the dressing staff
23:03I'd just like to point out that those two have the energy of an educational theatre
23:08OK, guys, let's talk periods
23:14Right, team of three, what do you think?
23:15I think it's light
23:17And they thought the sound of the pebbles would make us think that they'd kept them in
23:20I think it was really hot
23:22I think it might be a talent that she's got
23:23Where she's like
23:24I can drink really hot stuff
23:26And I think it was hot
23:27I agree
23:28I think it was cold like ours because the steam disappeared immediately
23:31No, it still kept a little bit
23:32I think they just did a better job of not having
23:46Like a fawn that had been scared
23:48You did the thing as well, the little thing
23:54Sorry, the audible ice cubes, I think that's what got us, not your acting
24:00And I think it was delicious
24:01But it hit the back of his throat and made him gag
24:04Do you think?
24:05I think it was disgusting
24:06I'd back yous whatever you say
24:07I promise I won't kick off
24:09I don't know
24:10So we're going light, hot, delicious
24:15If you fucking get this wrong
24:18This is what I was afraid of
24:20Well, let's see how many of the three you got right
24:22Oh, no
24:23Here we go, guys
24:24OK
24:28Now, we've got to empty it
24:30So, I just want to make sure there will be a cut here, right?
24:33Yeah
24:34Yeah, OK
24:35Please tell us, what was in the cup?
24:37Cold water
24:39What was in the tube?
24:41Marmite
24:41Peanut butter
24:43Water
24:44Water
24:45And...
24:46Gravy pellets?
24:47Bisto
24:47Oh
24:48Bisto
24:51Really nice
24:52It was fine
24:54Two out of three, not bad
24:56I'll do anything
24:59Well, has another part break come along quickly
25:03Same drill, you do what you want, me and Alex will do our thing
25:08That's the truth
25:09That's the truth
25:13LAUGHTER
25:17APPLAUSE
25:19Hello, guys
25:21Welcome back to Taskmaster part three
25:23Good morning, darling
25:24Now, we're going to see all of them lying or not lying about whether they've met the same famous person
25:30And whether I'm behind a shower curtain
25:32Weird, isn't it?
25:34Good luck
25:34Here we go
25:37Welcome
25:38Alex Horne is behind the curtain
25:40Please show them
25:46Disgusting clipboard
25:48Ta-da!
25:53So I met James Bay and my husband Chris is a comedian and he was doing the comedy
26:02Where did you meet James Bay?
26:03I met James Bay at Old Trafford
26:08Charity football match
26:10Yeah, I haven't met him
26:11I'm not famous enough
26:12She hasn't met James Bay
26:13Sorry
26:13We've met James Bay
26:14We've met James Bay
26:15Nice guy
26:16I've met some famous people
26:17You've met loads of famous
26:18Oh, I've met Tom Cruise
26:19Oh, I've met Tom Cruise
26:21No, you haven't
26:21I tested for a Mission Impossible
26:24For, like, one of the computer guys
26:25He was leaving as I was coming in and he was like, hello
26:27I used to be a journalist
26:28But he walked right past me, but he did go, how you doing?
26:31Yes
26:31That's enough, isn't it?
26:32Yes
26:32Tom Cruise
26:33Tom Cruise
26:34Mm-hmm
26:36Interesting
26:36I think maybe the team of three should do the guessing
26:39And I don't want to influence you
26:41But if you're behind the curtain for Jason and Stevie's attempt
26:45I will pull my trousers and pants down
26:47LAUGHTER
26:49That was very good
26:51You make your own decision
26:52I thought he might be behind the dummy that they were punching
26:55That's what I thought
26:56And that, I will come to regret that
26:57Technically behind
26:58LAUGHTER
26:59OK
27:00And the famous person?
27:02I doubt it
27:03I doubt it
27:03Yeah, I doubt it
27:04I've seen all of Mission's Impossible
27:05He ain't in it
27:06OK
27:08That's a lie
27:09That's a lie
27:09One or both of them
27:10So we're saying no to the famous person
27:13Yes to me being behind the shower
27:14Yes
27:14All right, team of two
27:16What do you think?
27:17Now, who is it that you guys are saying you've met?
27:20I don't know him either
27:21The singer James Baye
27:22Oh, James Baye
27:22Possibly they've met him because he seems very accessible
27:25He's not Tom Cruise
27:25Is he?
27:26No offence to James Baye and his loyal family
27:28Oh, he's really...
27:29He's really famous
27:30He's really famous
27:31He's genuinely really famous
27:31He's from Hitchin
27:33Oh, in that case
27:34OK, in that case
27:35OK, in that case
27:35They're definitely not bluffing
27:37Because that's huge
27:38LAUGHTER
27:40Let's say
27:40I think they met him
27:41OK, and then
27:41Is Alex behind the thing?
27:43Oh
27:43They took the clipboard out?
27:44No, I think they balanced the clipboard on a mannequin
27:47Oh, it's... yeah
27:47And then did that
27:48All right
27:48So, let's find out
27:49If they were telling the truth
27:51Oh
27:52Hello team
27:52Hello
27:53Please raise your hands
27:54If you've met James Baye
28:00Have you met Tom Cruise?
28:02No
28:12He-hey!
28:14Yes!
28:19So, do some summaries
28:21Well, not before you take your trousers and pants down
28:23LAUGHTER
28:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:29I am a man of my word
28:31And I told you
28:33You would all get an opportunity to see me take my trousers and pants down
28:36But I didn't say when or where
28:38LAUGHTER
28:38I'm going to meet you all individually
28:42Individually?
28:43That's the time and place of my shoes
28:45We're all looking forward to that
28:46But that final round really changed things
28:48It turned out that the team of three
28:50Ended up getting four out of the five right
28:51The team of two only got three out of the five right
28:53Mm
28:53So, the team of three get five points
28:55It's up to you how many the team of two get
28:57Or we should give them three points
28:58Three to the team of two
28:59Five to the team of three
29:01APPLAUSE
29:04Very good, what's next please?
29:05We are going to have a glorious yet infuriating lightbulb moment
29:20Hello
29:22Lovely smile
29:24You too
29:37Tell Alex why the lightbulb turns on
29:44You may not touch or tamper with the lightbulb
29:48Fastest correct answer wins
29:51Your time starts now
29:53Your time starts now
29:53I don't understand what that means
29:58So, I need to...
30:01APPLAUSE
30:05I don't know how the lightbulb turns on
30:07But Rosie was certainly having a good time
30:10LAUGHTER
30:11Let's see some stuff
30:12Yes, it's not how it turns on
30:14It's why it turns on
30:14And then first to go
30:15It's Rosie Ramsey
30:16And...
30:17Matty Batty
30:18LAUGHTER
30:23No
30:27Ooh
30:30How did the videos turn on?
30:34The speed of light
30:37Is it when I talk?
30:39No
30:39When I...
30:41Smile?
30:42No
30:45When I look at it
30:46Do you turn it on when I...
30:48LAUGHTER
30:50I don't...
30:50Oh
30:54Oh, there's another...
31:00Fastest wins, remember
31:02Right
31:03Oh, my...
31:04Oh, my word
31:04Right
31:04Read this out loud and in full
31:06If you fail to read this out loud and in full
31:09You will fail the current task
31:14Dear Rosie, congratulations
31:15You have looked under the table and found this
31:18A letter just for you
31:19This is bullshit
31:19This is gonna be bullshit
31:20You didn't have such curious instincts
31:23You wouldn't now be reading this personal note
31:26No, this is bullshit
31:27I think you are funny
31:28I like your hair
31:30In almost every drawer and almost every shelf
31:32Beneath almost every stone and inside
31:34I've always thought you're the sort of person who would look under table
31:38The truth is our taskmaster is not just about the taskmaster
31:47It's about opening that box
31:48It's about opening that box
31:49It's about opening that box
31:49It's about opening that box
31:50It's about opening that box
31:50OK, then, I'd better go now
31:52Well done again on finding this valuable paper
31:55OK, carry on, yours Greg, that's...
31:58That's...
31:59That's...
31:59That's not anything, is it?
32:00I don't think that means anything
32:01Right, yeah, you've got to tell me why the lightbulb turned off
32:04What's this?
32:05Plus two
32:06Plus two
32:07Plus two
32:09It's a spatial expressions
32:16It's extraordinary
32:20I've got to cry
32:22Can you cry on cue?
32:23Probably
32:24It's worth a try
32:30You're good
32:31Yeah?
32:31Oh dear
32:34Oh dear
32:37Oh yeah
32:41It's not crying, is it?
32:43No, okay
32:44You want a smile?
32:46You mentioned my smile when I came in
32:48Something to do with facial expressions
32:50Two times
32:52Is it smiling?
32:54And then being sad
32:55And then smell
32:56And then being sad
32:58And then being sad
33:01Two seconds after I smile
33:03I've stopped the clock
33:04I've stopped the clock
33:04When I smile
33:05And then I go sad
33:06Two seconds later
33:07It goes on
33:09I'm going to stop the clock
33:10I'm going to stop the clock
33:22I'm going to stop the clock
33:33I'm going to stop the clock
33:39Then I go through
33:4013 minutes 54
33:4213?
33:43Yeah
33:43Wow it felt like a lot longer
33:48Right soon, someone will be taking home a liar and a fanny, which reminds me of a date with my
33:55ex, as in, she was dishonest and her name was Fungita
34:11Hello, here we go, it's the final part of the show and there's a really annoying
34:16Tusk in play. They're the best ones and now it's Jason and Stevie's turn to work out what's turning the
34:22light bulb on.
34:23All right, let's see. I'm going to try...
34:30It's when I tip to the right. It's not.
34:34Why do I put raisins in this little hole?
34:36Can't imagine this is what I'm meant to do, but there is something oddly satisfying about it.
34:41No, you look happy. I appreciate it.
34:45You're looking at me as a red herring.
34:50Plus two. Plus two. Hmm. I'll do two raisins.
34:55Oh boy.
34:57That only tells me I'm on the right path.
35:03Is it every time I look at the ball?
35:14Oh, I hate it.
35:19You haven't put the bulb on for eight.
35:22What?
35:22What?
35:33If you've turned that bulb on...
35:40Is that you?
35:41No.
35:42Okay.
35:43Looks like you.
35:45Is it when I make this space?
35:49Nope.
35:51Fuck off!
35:55Speed of light, question mark miles, divided by two seconds.
35:59What do you want me to do with that information? Like what? Speed of light?
36:04So that is relevant.
36:05Oh, is it? This clue is relevant to the goddamn task? Shocking.
36:11It's almost like he's asking me how many miles...
36:15smiles...
36:17smiles per two seconds.
36:19So I go off two seconds after I put raisins in the little hole?
36:22Here we go!
36:23No!
36:24I mean...
36:26No.
36:26No.
36:27Oh, wait a minute!
36:29Oh, gosh!
36:31Oh, gosh!
36:33No!
36:35Does it go after?
36:37Two seconds after I'm angry.
36:38Two seconds after I've laughed.
36:40After I say, okay.
36:41Two seconds after I'm thinking.
36:44It's everything in my power right now to not flip this table.
36:48Is it two seconds after I stop smiling?
36:51Can you try it out?
36:56Ah!
36:57Ah!
36:58Yes!
37:02The light goes on two seconds after I stop something.
37:06I've stopped the clock, but I need you to go now because I need to take that box apart because
37:09it's full of raisins.
37:10You know what? Put some water in.
37:12You'll have grapes.
37:14LAUGHTER
37:18APPLAUSE
37:19Oh, God.
37:20I don't think so far we've seen you quite as crazed during a task.
37:24I think it really got to you, right?
37:26Yeah, that was the angriest I was.
37:27But what a celebration.
37:30LAUGHTER
37:30Jason?
37:31Yes, Greg?
37:31I thought it was quite clever, um, on the first attempt of popping raisins into the little hole.
37:36Yeah.
37:36I was less convinced of your intelligence by the third time you started.
37:41I'm not going to lie, they cut many times out.
37:44Yeah, yeah.
37:45Do you want to tell us how they did?
37:47Yes, Stevie, you were 28 minutes.
37:49Oh, my God.
37:49Jesus Christ.
37:51What about old raisin popper?
37:54Yeah.
37:5552, 52 minutes.
37:57LAUGHTER
38:03We had a six-minute debate about whether it's math or maths.
38:07Can you cut it?
38:07We have to cut it, Jason.
38:10Now, this'll be interesting.
38:12Can the angriest Taskmaster contestant of all time...
38:16Can she even smile?
38:18We don't know.
38:20We don't know.
38:22You're quite right, Greg.
38:23It's time for fabulous fattier final.
38:25LAUGHTER
38:26What's this? Can I use this?
38:28Ooh.
38:31What happened?
38:36Is it when I smile?
38:45Do you remember I used to do that in school? That's a fake smile.
38:47Do you remember that?
38:48We didn't go to the same school.
38:50LAUGHTER
38:51Oh, hell no.
38:53OK, wait, this says, yeah, two plus smiles.
38:57Oh, is it got to do with time?
38:58I got it.
39:00I got it, honey.
39:02OK, I smile, two-second break, and then it comes on.
39:05OK, smile.
39:09One, two, light comes on.
39:11Got it?
39:12You got it.
39:15Somebody call the vet, because these swans are sick.
39:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:23Did you make up someone call a vet, because these swans are sick?
39:26No, man. No, the swans aren't actually sick, and if they were...
39:28Well, they're not really swans, are they?
39:29But also, it's not the vet you call for, they've got, it's domestic stuff.
39:33Yeah. What you actually should say,
39:35someone call whoever's responsible for the swan community...
39:39LAUGHTER
39:40..must directly link to the royal family, because these swans are sick,
39:43and not many people are qualified to deal with it.
39:46LAUGHTER
39:47Give me some times.
39:48Well, obviously, Jason gets one point for his nearly an hour.
39:51Stevie, two points, nearly half an hour.
39:53Rosie, three points for your 16 minutes.
39:55Matt, four points for 13 minutes.
39:57Fatia, seven minutes, five points.
39:59There we go.
40:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:04I can't believe it.
40:06Did you exceed some scores?
40:08Fatia, you are now in second place, just two points behind Rosie,
40:11who's on 17 points.
40:12Wow.
40:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:15Go Tyler, go Tyler.
40:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:19OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
40:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:44FRONT HAM
40:46One at a time, each person must discard three socks from the washing line
40:51and add one.
40:52If all your coloured socks are removed, you are eliminated.
40:58Last player standing wins the game of FRONT HAM.
41:01We all know FRONT HAM, so it's a traditional game.
41:04You may not be aware of it, Jason, but the others will be.
41:07LAUGHTER
41:09In your black socks, you've got a secret sock.
41:11That is your colour.
41:13Don't let anyone else see the colour of your sock.
41:15The aim of FRONT HAM, as we all know,
41:16is to leave your coloured sock standing on the washing line.
41:21So on your go, you're going to go first, Fatia.
41:22You can remove three socks, any socks,
41:24and then you've got to put one sock on from your bucket.
41:28As soon as your colour disappears, you're out.
41:30It's FRONT HAM, I mean, I don't know why I'm...
41:31LAUGHTER
41:33This is sock chess.
41:34This is... Yeah.
41:35This is cerebral.
41:36So why don't you all have a look secretly inside your secret sock.
41:40Remember your colour, don't reveal it,
41:41cos there's a lot of tactics involved in this.
41:43As always, we go right to left.
41:45That's you first, Fatia, so you can remove three socks.
41:48I'm going to be tactical here.
41:50I have to be. I'm so sorry.
41:54Oh, my God. If you... Yeah.
41:57And now what? Pick one and put it on.
41:59Absolutely. Just bring it back to its folk.
42:01That's the phrase. Yeah.
42:03I wonder what your secret sock colour is.
42:06That's the... No, it could be a double bluff.
42:08That's FRONT HAM.
42:10Jason's up now. He could eliminate orange from the game.
42:13I mean, he'd be a fucking psycho if he did. Let's see.
42:15LAUGHTER
42:17Ooh.
42:18Ooh.
42:18Oh, my God, he's mixing his colours.
42:20Wow.
42:20These Americans are so flash.
42:22So, green is back to normal, man.
42:24OK.
42:25Perilous for orange, but he's still going to put one back on.
42:27Oh, my God.
42:29Matthew, that's FRONT HAM.
42:31Oh, my God.
42:32Oh, Jesus.
42:33Oh, my God.
42:34Don't reveal your orange yet.
42:35Don't reveal your orange yet.
42:36You pig.
42:37Again, don't reveal if you're orange yet.
42:40LAUGHTER
42:41Not even a clue, Rosie, if possible.
42:44OK.
42:44Oh.
42:45Back to the half dozen yellows.
42:47So, would you like the orange to reveal themselves?
42:49Do I need to?
42:51LAUGHTER
42:52It's me.
42:53Oh.
42:54Oh.
42:54The pure.
42:57LAUGHTER
42:58Rosie, a master of deception, let's front ham.
43:01OK.
43:02This is tricky.
43:03OK.
43:03It's a full board at the moment.
43:06Yeah.
43:07Oh.
43:08Lovely.
43:10I'm going to write.
43:11Yeah.
43:12Oh, I've got to put one up, don't I?
43:14She takes a blue off, she puts a blue back on.
43:18Psychological.
43:18LAUGHTER
43:24For a second, I thought it was a masterful game of psychological warfare,
43:29but she just forgot she took the blue off.
43:32Fatia, back to you, I believe.
43:34Oh, one.
43:35There's an aggression here.
43:36Two.
43:36Oh.
43:38Oh, Christ.
43:40LAUGHTER
43:41Red's back up to full strength, Greg.
43:43I've not seen that for a few years.
43:45LAUGHTER
43:47Lovely.
43:48Oh, my God.
43:49That's great.
43:51LAUGHTER
43:52Oh.
43:54Cautious.
43:55So, Matthew, the door is open on blues.
43:57If you want to eliminate blues, that means you do go up in the leaderboard.
44:02Quick, remind me, why wouldn't he go for blue at this stage?
44:06LAUGHTER
44:06Matthew's his own man.
44:07We've seen this in previous tournaments.
44:09Interesting.
44:12And then one back on.
44:13Is it another blue back on?
44:15No.
44:16Oh, it is.
44:18Wow.
44:19Works for Rosie.
44:20Is it the end?
44:23Yes!
44:24Wow.
44:25Very good.
44:29We've lost Green, but let's see who she puts up.
44:32Even Stephens.
44:33She's taken two people to a full complement.
44:36Yeah.
44:36We've lost someone.
44:37Green?
44:38It's me.
44:39Oh.
44:39Oh.
44:40Jason Mantouka gets two points.
44:42Join the team, mate.
44:44Yeah, yeah.
44:46Now I'm going to have to do this, like, come on.
44:48Of course.
44:49You do a double blue now, I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.
44:52Oh, I've gone.
44:54So, this is it.
44:55We might find out what colour she is.
44:57Hmm.
44:58Ooh.
44:59It might be checkmate.
45:01Oh.
45:01Oh, she's set up the ultimate head-to-head.
45:07Unbelievable.
45:08We've lost blue, finally.
45:09They clung on for a while.
45:10Go blue, step forward.
45:15And then we're winning.
45:18Rosie, this is your turn.
45:19You can't eliminate your opposition yet.
45:22Please step up to the line.
45:23North-South divide.
45:34Yeah, but they both know who the other one is.
45:37Yeah.
45:40The numbers will go down.
45:42It will dwindle.
45:43It has to dwindle.
45:47It's the only move.
45:48It's the only move.
45:48Oh, God.
45:49Sorry.
45:50Sorry.
45:51Tricky for you, Narrows.
45:58She's lost three yellows.
46:00It's a desperate bit, though, because there's not a lot she can do.
46:07She's staying brave.
46:08We've got a real situation.
46:10Yeah.
46:10At this stage, it's really whether or not Fatty remembers what colour her sock is.
46:13LAUGHTER
46:15All right, let's have it, Rob.
46:18And Will will last go.
46:20OK.
46:20She's won Front Ham!
46:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:25Oh, listen, I'll have both your final scores.
46:26Come down and join me!
46:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:34One of the greatest Janus of Front Ham I've ever witnessed.
46:37I know.
46:37It has changed the scores.
46:39Very tight at the top, but with 21 points.
46:41The winner of this episode is Rosie Ramsey!
46:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:51Rosie Ramsey has won.
46:52Please go and ogle your oddly bend on the page!
47:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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