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7 Days (NZ) Season 18 Episode 10
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00:22Hello one and all to another brand new episode of 7 Days where I, Jeremy Corbett, take you
00:26the viewer on a magical journey through the past week of news, deleting the boring bits
00:30and making this crack team of comedians find the funny and what's left over, let's meet
00:35them shall we. Leader of team one is an actor, director, comedian and musician, wow she just
00:40cannot commit. She's mad as salami, it's Madeline Salami. Thank you Jeremy, it's called undiagnosed
00:51ADHD. Now have I got a hot team for you tonight, he started as a production runner on this very
00:57show and now he's on the panel, he started on the panel and now he has the runs, it's Anthony
01:02Brock and George Johnson. The big question about the leader of team two is if he's here then
01:10who's walking around in the woods of Northern California pretending to be Bigfoot? Rhys
01:21Christchurch? You might have better luck guessing than I did. Let's make a start by seeing what
01:30made the news in a game that's legally called Newsmakers. I'll give each team a prompt from
01:34a headline story, they need to figure out which one and team one I've got an answer for you
01:38so you might need to come up with some questions. Why is this a newsmaker? 51 tests. How many
01:44tests of supermarket camembert did I get through before the promo lady told me off? How many
01:51pregnancy tests did I shove up my bum before I realised you just need to pee on them? How
01:59many pregnancy tests did I get through before I realised it's the woman who's meant to pee
02:02on them? How many times did I do a COVID test in an afternoon before I was like do I
02:09have
02:09a kink? Madeline, any guess at what the story might be? Okay, 51 tests. I'm going to assume
02:16this is something to do with sport. Oh yes, actually there was a story about an ex All Black,
02:22Tane Randall. He is standing for a political party. Correct Madeline. The question is how
02:30many tests did Tane Randall play for the All Blacks? Well it's 51, 22 as captain. One of
02:34our youngest captains between 97 and 2002 and he announced this week he will be running
02:39as a New Zealand first candidate in the Tukituki electorate in Hawke's Bay at the upcoming
02:43election. Sort of a direct swap actually. Tane Randall is becoming a politician and Christopher
02:48Luxon is going to be a rugby ball. So...
02:53Aero dynamic. It's so aerodynamic. I reckon we should have more rugby players in parliament
02:58and if we did, Stephen Joyce would have caught that dildo. And said a knocking it on with his
03:05face. Yeah. I mean it wasn't a straight line out dildo throw, that's for sure. I don't
03:09know how to catch a dildo on a line out. No. He did the old falcon didn't he? Did the
03:13falcon.
03:14Lovely that it proves that it's not just old people who support New Zealand first, it's
03:17also people with severe head injuries. Yeah. Hopefully people will take that concussion
03:22thing seriously after seeing this. Yeah, I think that's the new slogan. Had a fall, vote
03:26New Zealand first. Yeah, yeah. What's the electorate he's going for? Is it Tukituki?
03:32Tukituki, yeah. Yeah, cos Labour haven't announced their candidate for Tukituki yet, but if they
03:37do pick a South African and Tane gets sick the night before the election, I'm going to have
03:44a lot of questions. We'll be looking for someone called Susie. Yeah, I think so. I think so,
03:48yeah. Hey Crum, I know it's your first show, so welcome. Yes. Also in the middle of Team
03:52Two, first show, Bubba. Yeah. You were a guest here in Guest Who? We had you on, didn't
03:57you? Yes. With a mystery sack on your head. But now you're sitting on the panel, how does
04:00it feel? You good? I feel like I levelled up. Leveled up. Alright, Team Two, are you ready?
04:06Yeah. For your newsmaker, I've got an answer for you. What's the question? This is from
04:10the last seven days. Crabs and barnacles. Ooh, with rising sea levels, what are the new
04:16STIs in some of our sluttier coastal towns? Now that we are at an earlier time slot, what
04:25does Jeremy have to say instead of shit and ****? I'll tell you how I feel about that.
04:31Crabs and barnacles. What shows that a mermaid's let herself go?
04:41Alright, any idea what the story might be, Rhys? It's almost nothing to go on. So I'm
04:47going to guess it's under the water. Under the sea? Down where it's wet, everything's
04:52better, Jeremy. Is that the story? Not even close. What are thriving in the Great Pacific
04:58garbage patch? Crabs and barnacles. That's the huge accumulation of marine plastic in the
05:03North Pacific Ocean. The GPGP, as the cool kids are calling it, was found to have grown so
05:07large, it now hosts its own ecosystem. It's now about three times the size of France.
05:13It contains roughly 1.8 trillion pieces of plastic. But I reckon I could still get the
05:17lid on my recycling bin to close on that, you know?
05:19I push it in. Guys, I just want to say, I don't think we should call it the Great Pacific
05:25garbage patch. Its name's Australia. Be kind. Be kind. It's quite nice to know that when
05:32you biff a beer can into a river, it's not littering. It's going to end up being a little
05:36house for a hermit.
05:37Yeah, you're making a home. You're making a home. It's Q day. It's Q day.
05:40Well that's aluminium or steel going to sink, so you're not helping the patch.
05:43Uh, I think you'll find metal floats, Corbyn. What? Yeah. Don't they? There's metal boats.
05:53Yeah, as long as the displacement is greater than the weight. Oh, okay Archimedes. Let's
05:58bring everybody a displacement theory. Oh, I'm big to school. I'm from the North Island.
06:04All right. Yeah, look at him. What's that? That's a thinking man. What about you, Bubba?
06:11Because, you know, do we need another Pacific Island? You've been living in Samoa, basically,
06:15haven't you? I can't even talk because I've been eating turtles. What? Yes! What do they
06:21taste like? Straws. Do they taste like straws? Chicken. Or kiwi. What does it taste like?
06:26Like fishy fish. Really? Oh, like a cross between like... And then I can crisp up the skin.
06:32Wow. But we do it sustainably. That's the way... The rest of you save them. Yes.
06:37I suppose you could...
06:39No, it's like farming. You're farming. That's perfect. Well, yeah. Yeah, they kind of come
06:46with their own bowl. Yeah. And a dipping spoon in each corner.
06:52Yeah, you know that. We're going to go to points for newsmakers. Team one, you can have
06:57don't know. Interesting number. That's the number of national MPs who voted
07:00against Prime Minister Christopher Luxon in that confidence vote he called on himself
07:04this week. I haven't revealed the numbers, so I don't really know. But he's fine, honestly.
07:09Team two, you can have 70. That's 70 mil of rain that fell in one hour in Wellington
07:13on early Monday morning. That's about half a month's rain in one hour, hence the terrible
07:18flash floods. Hope you're OK there in Wellington. 70 beats don't know. First star of the night
07:22goes to team two.
07:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:26Well, a star, you know, a star isn't just a giant burning ball of gas, which also happened
07:30to be my stripper name. No. But also the currency for this show. Most stars at the end of the
07:35night wins a highly sought after and valuable prize. And with Tane Randall's mate Shane Jones
07:39saying New Zealand's trade agreement with India will lead to a butter chicken tsunami, his
07:44actual words, we thought this week's prize would be helpful when the big wave eventually arrives.
07:49Ooh and ah at that. That is a boogie board made from garlic naan.
07:52Wow.
07:55Not only is it a delicious, buttery Friday night takeaway, but we'll also keep you afloat
08:00while Shane Jones is washed out to sea to drown in the incoming, crowd-pleasing curry.
08:04Something to strive for. Good luck, teams.
08:06All right, our next game is called Guest 2, where we pick a random news story of the week,
08:10secretly recruit the star of that story to join us in the studio under the cover of darkness.
08:15And when I say darkness, I mean a sack with a limited air supply.
08:18Please welcome our guest, who guests?
08:21Just stay mad at him.
08:23Oh, jump in behind you, guide you in.
08:25Three, two, one. Stop right there.
08:28All right, our guest is going to give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down for your yes-no
08:31question.
08:31Thumbs down, it goes to the other team. Team one, you start.
08:34Did you win the Hong Kong Sevens?
08:38Oh, that's good though. Good win for New Zealand, that one. Team two.
08:44Have you been to South Auckland?
08:47Have you seen?
08:48Woo!
08:49You got a yes! You got a yes!
08:51Not part of the story, I have to say, but you got a yes, that's good.
08:55Did you fight for the Anzacs at Gallipoli?
08:59That's a no.
08:59Okay, so they fought for the Ottoman Empire.
09:03So it's clearly South Auckland based.
09:06It's not!
09:08Is it a sport-related news story? Maybe?
09:14No!
09:15Not sport.
09:16So, when you're in South Auckland...
09:21And you drive past ลtara, do you ever stop for those lamb buns?
09:27No!
09:28Okay, I'm lost.
09:29You're lost.
09:32Bubba's out, Bubba's out.
09:34What's the address of these lamb buns?
09:35No, Tomo!
09:36The game!
09:37One thing has to do with the story.
09:39Focus on the game!
09:40You can send me a...
09:40I think this...
09:41Yeah, okay.
09:41If you were to walk in a realm of the topic that you delve into,
09:47would it be scientific?
09:49That's a no.
09:50That's a no.
09:51Okay.
09:51Not scientific.
09:53Are you famous for entertainment?
09:57Yes!
09:58Entertainment.
09:59Are you a musician?
10:03It is.
10:03It is a yes.
10:04It's a yes, but not the main...
10:06Oh my God!
10:07I read something, but I can't remember what it is.
10:09I have to think.
10:10Are you in film and television?
10:14Yes!
10:15Same!
10:16Same!
10:17It's not...
10:19Not a conversation, Madeline.
10:21Are you on a reality television show?
10:23No, it's not that.
10:25They're in film and television.
10:27Okay.
10:27Has the show been going for a long time?
10:30Yes.
10:31Definitely.
10:32Were you on the news?
10:38That is a no.
10:40Not what the story's about.
10:41Was the TV show for kids?
10:45Yes!
10:46With a bit of music?
10:48No way!
10:48Is that Susie Cato?
10:51Yes!
10:51Yes!
10:55Oh!
10:57Wow!
10:59Wow!
11:01Amazing!
11:02Amazing!
11:04Amazing!
11:14It's going to be streaming and all that sort of stuff.
11:31But also, you released It's Our Time, but you're releasing You and Me, the theme tune as well.
11:36Yeah, the theme tune was released last weekend.
11:38Right.
11:39We're releasing It's Our Time!
11:41Kia ora talofa!
11:43This weekend.
11:43And then, for the next 25 weeks...
11:46Do it again!
11:47Do it again!
11:47It's Our Time!
11:49Our special time of day!
11:51God!
11:51I'm about to cry.
11:53I'm about to cry.
11:53It is incredible, because there are kids that watched your show.
11:57It started in, what, 93 or something like that, and now they're parents themselves,
12:00and they come up and...
12:02What do they say to you?
12:03They say hello, generally.
12:06Always?
12:07Not talofa?
12:08Oh, no.
12:08It's not talofa.
12:09And we always have a big hug, and yeah, we sing the song, and it's fabulous.
12:13And now to be singing and performing for their children is pretty special.
12:17Yeah.
12:17That's cool.
12:18You're a massive star.
12:19I remember back in the day, we sort of...
12:21Your husband worked at the radio station I was at, and we had a radio sort of a do,
12:25and Sean Fitzpatrick was there, the captain of the All Blacks at the time.
12:29A man not easily given to sort of shows of sort of stardom, but he was starstruck by you
12:36because of his kids, and he came up and he wanted your autograph and that.
12:38I've never seen, like, the captain of the All Blacks being so,
12:41I was like, can I please have him?
12:43He was incredible.
12:44Amazing.
12:44He's such a lovely guy.
12:46He was lovely, yes.
12:47And in between when there was a hiatus, I think we can call it now, the show didn't
12:50come to an end.
12:51It was a hiatus.
12:51You were on Dancing with the Stars and Masked Singer.
12:54Does it feel good to be on a proper TV show?
12:58It's an honour.
12:59Wonderful to be working with you.
13:00But isn't it just the Masked Singer when you made her stand there with a bag on her hand?
13:07Susie, am I in the show?
13:09In this show?
13:10Yeah.
13:11Seven Days, darling, yes you were.
13:12Oh, okay.
13:17I wasn't sure if I was awake.
13:19Why do you ask, Tom?
13:19Have you recorded something you think might be on Susie's show?
13:22Oh, I don't know if it's a...
13:24Oh my God, if he was French.
13:25Oh, I don't know, I don't know.
13:26He's playing one of the puppets.
13:26So long as you don't tell anybody else, yes, Josh reads a story.
13:32Do you?
13:33Yeah.
13:34How did you learn to read?
13:37There were lots of pictures.
13:39Oh, there's lots of pictures.
13:40Yeah.
13:41I didn't think they'd go for mine camp either, but it was quite a long time.
13:45Quite a long before.
13:46It's very painful for the times that are in it.
13:48And is it true that your kids told you what to wear tonight so that people would recognise you?
13:52Indeed.
13:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
13:53So, yeah.
13:53Completely true.
13:54Great choice.
13:55I had to bling, I had to stand in a certain way.
13:58Yeah, that was really good.
13:59Yeah, I was like, that's my cousin.
14:01That's definitely my cousin.
14:03I thought she was from South Wales.
14:07Where do I find those buns?
14:09Yeah.
14:10I will take you.
14:11I love you.
14:12You're stunning.
14:14When does the show start and where can we see it?
14:16You can see it on the 2nd of May on my YouTube channel, YouAndMeNZ.
14:21And it'll also be on RNZ's platform in a few months' time.
14:25Well, the pleasure's been all ours.
14:26Susie Cato.
14:31Say hi to Steve.
14:36Standing.
14:36Oh, yeah.
14:43That is fantastic.
14:45And congratulations.
14:47Who yelled it out?
14:48It was you, Rhys.
14:49Team 2.
14:50Give them the star.
14:51Well done.
14:53Wow.
14:54I have to say, one of our most popular guests who's ever.
14:57Right.
14:58Coming up later, we have Aotearoa Music Award finalist Paige joining us for Slice of 7.
15:02Stick around to see that.
15:03But after the break, it's TOG's time with Club Topakana here on 7 Days.
15:06See you soon.
15:19Oh, welcome back to 7 Days.
15:22Lovely to have you with us.
15:24And we'd like to celebrate the week of wild weather
15:26by shimmying across the sand,
15:28finding our way around the flotsam and jetsam
15:29to reach the embrace of the beach.
15:31It's Club Topicana, play the steel drums.
15:37That was a cool thing I did.
15:39That's cool, that's cool.
15:44Club Topicana, as you know, is brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
15:48Pineapples, chunks or pieces, whole or sliced,
15:50any which way, damn napples be nice.
15:54And inside this poetic fruit lies some news stories
15:57that drew my attention.
15:57It'll be the team's task to tell us more about each of them.
16:01All right, until I am satiated,
16:03what have we got on the menu this week?
16:04Let's start with this.
16:05Robots in China just beat the world record
16:07for running a half marathon.
16:08You may have seen that.
16:09The Ukrainian army reportedly adding 25,000 robots
16:13to its front line.
16:14Safe to say robots are taking our jobs,
16:16but I think we need to fight back,
16:18which is why I'd like to see some examples
16:20of humans doing robots' jobs.
16:29Wake up! Wake up!
16:30It's time to start your miserable life!
16:39Wait, so you want me to walk around,
16:41suck up dust and toenails,
16:43and you're going to pay me for that?
16:53Alive!
16:54Alive!
16:55Alive!
16:56Alive!
16:57Alive!
16:57Alive!
16:58Alive!
16:58Alive!
16:58Dead!
16:58Alive!
16:59Alive!
17:08Hello.
17:09Oh, yes, you'd like $20?
17:11Just put your card here.
17:13Put your pin number here.
17:25Here's your $20.
17:28Can I get a receipt?
17:51Right, so you just want me to sit on the chair and vibrate, okay?
17:59Right, so you just want me to sit on the chair and vibrate.
18:12But then now do they get to sit on you, is that...?
18:15Yeah, I don't want to make it gross, but yeah, I'm a vibrator.
18:18It's a real shameful walk-off.
18:20Alright.
18:22Okay, here we go, down to Christchurch.
18:24Te Kaha, Christchurch's new One New Zealand stadium has its official opening this weekend.
18:29All Super Rugby games have been played there, 683 mil at cost.
18:32I didn't get an invite, but I would love to see some scenes from a Christchurch Stadium corporate box, please.
18:41Um, they say I'm the first Samoan up here.
18:48I'm the head of security.
18:49I'm the head of security.
18:50LAUGHTER
18:54Ciao, see, look at that.
18:56That's the first Samoan in the corporate box.
19:01LAUGHTER
19:01Tell over.
19:04LAUGHTER
19:27I'll have the shrimp, please.
19:42What?
19:43We can't go on the field anymore.
19:46No, yeah, could I get a drink and 50kg of oats for the horse, please?
20:00Richie!
20:03I shot Richie McCaw!
20:07I'm sorry, he's as big as a horse, I'm so sorry!
20:17Yes, we just booked out the suite on an event-by-event basis really, once you've kind of got 20
20:21people
20:22in here it works out to be just as cheap as tickets.
20:25Catering's pretty good, drinks are included, they've got a different catering pick.
20:27What do I do?
20:28So I just, it's a bit boring, I work under the CFO, so I'm kind of managing logistics mainly,
20:33trying to stabilise the prices for our incoming product, particularly with the tariffs and
20:38the hormones.
20:39Don't even get me started on that, that's been an absolute number.
20:41But you know, work's stable, work's pretty good, pretty interesting.
20:53All righty, moving on, here's our next story from MyDolePineapple.
20:58This week police arrested a man who had stolen $34,000 worth of Lego from box sets.
21:04He'd done that by replacing it with dried pasta.
21:07Ingenious, but I'm pretty sure any crime involving pasta gets you locked up in a prison
21:11in Italy, so give me some examples of things overheard in an Italian prison.
21:19Luigi, why are you trying to dig out when we can just jump down the toilet and go down
21:25the pipes?
21:26Yoo-hoo!
21:28Really good.
21:32Oh, mamma mia, I've been shanked.
21:38Just checking, you can still do the Italian accent, right?
21:41That's all.
21:45I don't know, I shanked a woman, but my shank was al dente.
21:57Okay, if we are going to get out, we're going to have to get past the guards.
22:04We don't want to have to resort to violence.
22:15Get busy living, or get busy dying.
22:19Those are the words told to me by my friend,
22:23Andolini Ferrari Barista Napolitano Paparazzi Gelato de Fred.
22:30Very good, Tomo.
22:31My name's Morgan Freeman.
22:33We got that.
22:36What am I in for?
22:38Serving a red wine with seafood?
22:41And I'm in with the pedos.
22:44Yes!
22:50It was going so well.
22:53Alright, unbelievable.
22:54Word is in that the garbage patch is spread to our own Topicana beach.
22:58Before you get barnacles on your dinghy, you better get out of the water
23:00and head back to the desks.
23:02Play the steel drums!
23:07Ah, very good round of Topicana.
23:15Enjoyed that.
23:16Team 1, you can have 32 points.
23:18That's the age of Harry Styles.
23:19Rumoured to be engaged to his girlfriend Zoe Kravitz
23:22after she was seen wearing a huge diamond ring in public.
23:26Yes.
23:27Disappointing.
23:28I would have married either of them.
23:29Team 2.
23:30120.
23:30That's the number of shows in the 2026 New Zealand International Comedy Festival.
23:34Kicks off in a week.
23:35Features many of your seven days favourites, including some here tonight.
23:38Tickets are at comedyfestival.co.nz.
23:41Congrats.
23:42The star goes to Team 2.
23:48Alright.
23:49Team 1, I've got your burger fuel brain grill, fresh out of 1990 for you now.
23:54Tell me what's happening here.
23:56And we want, we want this guy here too.
23:59Yeah, we want this guy here.
24:01Spread out boys.
24:02Spreading out.
24:03Spread out.
24:03Here we go.
24:05Hands come down.
24:07Slapping, slapping, slapping, slapping.
24:09Hands reach up one above the other.
24:12Fierce warriors poke out tongues.
24:14Poke out tongues.
24:17Oh, Lord.
24:19Ooh.
24:21Joke about that, yeah.
24:22Is this what they were doing at the National Party caucus on Tuesday?
24:26I know, I know exactly what this is.
24:28This is a pakeha haka.
24:31Yeah.
24:32Yeah, that was from Telethon 1990.
24:35Sir Howard Morrison leading a haka comprised of John Farnham.
24:39Amazing.
24:39Paul Holmes.
24:40John Hawksby.
24:41And the one on the end with the headpiece.
24:44Director of Seven Days sitting in the control room right behind me right now, Nigel Carpenter.
24:49Really good.
24:51The event raised $4.3 million, mainly from people paying to make them stop.
24:58Alright, I feel a break coming on, so let's not promise to watch the ads, then enjoy Paige singing
25:02for us all in Slicer 7 next.
25:04See you soon, Seven Days.
25:16Welcome back to Seven Days.
25:18I see you've slipped into your dancing shoes.
25:21Good move, because we have a Kiwi songbird in the studio to serenade us with a couple of tunes
25:25that we've made her change the words to so our comedians can guess what news story they are about.
25:30Her song, Twenties, has just been named a finalist for Single of the Year in the 2026 Aotearoa Music Awards.
25:36Please welcome Paige.
25:41Your job, teams, to figure out what news stories we've got Paige to sing about.
25:45Team one, are you ready?
25:47In your own time page.
25:56I can almost see it, the blood and screaming, when a reptile bites a boat with Lisa Carrington, and it's
26:08so stroked.
26:10You gotta go fast.
26:13You'll get eaten if you're last.
26:21Got crocodiles at the Briz Olympics.
26:24The rowers gotta whack them with their oars.
26:27They never wanna see a gator later.
26:30Gold medals stuck inside their chores.
26:33Steve Irwin, where's he when you need him?
26:36Oh no, the cocks list fours have died.
26:43Damn.
26:45Crocodile.
26:52Oh my god.
26:54So good.
26:55Wow.
26:56Yeah.
26:57Wow.
26:57Amazing.
26:58I heard a bunch of stuff about Australia.
26:59Crocodiles.
26:59Steve Irwin.
27:00There was Lisa Carrington, who is a weapon.
27:04There's a rowing crocodile story from the Australians.
27:10I don't know when the Olympics are, but there's, I think they're gonna row with crocodiles?
27:16Yeah, sort of team one, I'll give it to you.
27:18Organisers are still committed to holding the rowing events for the 2032 Brisbane Olympics
27:23on the Fitzroy River, despite it being a known crocodile habitat.
27:28Guess it could make for a seamless transition from being an Olympian to a Paralympian.
27:31You know.
27:36Wait, wait.
27:37So like, they're rowing and there's crocodiles chasing them.
27:41I would be, I feel like this is my chance to get into the Olympics.
27:45I would row so fast.
27:48Oh, cause yeah, and you'd be staring at them the whole time.
27:51Yeah.
27:51You gotta watch out, cause they might bite your cocks off though.
27:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:54But when is the...
27:55That's a boat term, right?
27:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:57That's a cocksist.
27:57Oh yeah.
27:58To be honest, like crocodile versus Lisa Carrington, I'm backing Carrington.
28:02Yeah.
28:03Have you seen her?
28:04She is jacked.
28:05Oh yeah.
28:05Shit, I guess they'd rip it in half.
28:07But she's...
28:07At least she's kayaking, so she's going forward.
28:10So she'd see them.
28:11Whereas in rowing, you know what you're rowing.
28:13They just go down the throat.
28:16It's meals on wheels.
28:20I love the idea of injecting a little bit of animal danger into sort of any Olympic sport.
28:25I've often watched the bobsledding and thought, chuck a hippo down there.
28:29A hundred metres bridge.
28:31Well just like, hippos famously don't like the cold and don't know how to apply brakes in ice.
28:36So I think they'd get really angry.
28:38Oh, rhythmic gymnastics with a snake?
28:40Yeah.
28:41Oh yeah.
28:41Yeah.
28:42Yeah.
28:43Yeah.
28:44I would like to see you swimming with a shark in the pool.
28:48Just get some world record times.
28:49Yeah.
28:50I thought like Javelin could be made a lot more interesting without animals, but just both
28:54teams going at the same time at each other.
28:57So it's kind of like Javelin dodgeball hybrid.
28:59Yeah.
29:00I think it's like Pokemon.
29:01Is Pokemon where you throw a spear into another human being?
29:06No, that's Pokeman.
29:12Really good.
29:13Team two, are you ready for a song from Paige?
29:15Yes.
29:16It's about a news story.
29:17Try and guess which one.
29:18Yours.
29:18All yours Paige.
29:24Stopped in and stared at the fridge in my dairy.
29:28Reached for a drink.
29:31It was real scary.
29:33The bottle was transparent like a naked ghost.
29:37Wanna keep it looking like the color of toast.
29:45Yuck.
29:46Gross.
29:47Gotta bring back the brown.
29:50Sad times.
29:52In Waikato town.
29:55Statues changing.
29:56Now I'm worried about Ohakuni.
30:02More Kiwi then.
30:05Agenda strapped in.
30:07All the old LMPs are getting the can.
30:12Old bottles in the recycling bin.
30:18Stop the coke company.
30:21It looks like...
30:24Piss.
30:30Oh.
30:31Wow.
30:32Awesome.
30:33So good.
30:34So good.
30:35Well, first of all, Jeremy, you know how annoying I find it when you invite actually talented
30:38people on the show?
30:40Makes this look bad.
30:41What do you reckon, guys?
30:43Um, LMP is changed.
30:46It's changing.
30:48It's changing.
30:48Yeah.
30:49The bottle, the bottle.
30:49I thought you knew this.
30:51Why would you think I know this?
30:53Okay, no.
30:54So LMP changing the bottle color to clear for recycling purposes.
30:58Okay.
30:59And why did you think I would be up to date on fizzy drink news?
31:02You have an aura.
31:10Yeah, I did know this.
31:11Yeah, I did know this.
31:14Yeah, so I've said a lot of fans of Kiwi fizzy drinks, LMP have changed the design of
31:18their brown bottles to translucent ones.
31:20They've even updated the iconic LMP bottle statue in Pyro.
31:24It's...
31:25I don't know about this.
31:26Even LMP's gone work, hasn't it?
31:28What's it called now?
31:29LMPTQIA plus?
31:30I don't know.
31:32I don't know.
31:33Where does it stop?
31:34Where does it stop?
31:35I mean, even when you...
31:36Look at it.
31:36Yeah.
31:37Age is right.
31:38It does look like...
31:39His.
31:40Yeah.
31:41If they wanted to make a Kiwi, they should have painted it blue and maybe put Tina from
31:45Turner's on there.
31:46Oh!
31:46Oh!
31:49Do you know her?
31:51Huh?
31:52Do you know her?
31:52No, but I heard she's amazing.
31:56Tell us your bubbles!
32:00That is a coincidence, isn't it?
32:03What's that?
32:05Where the f*** is this going?
32:08Go on, Poirot.
32:10At the same time as the movie about Michael Jackson is coming out...
32:17We're making a brown bottle less brown!
32:20Michael Jackson, of course, famous for making himself more clear to make himself more recyclable.
32:26I think he's famous for touching smaller bottles, I think.
32:32Get away from the cans, Michael!
32:36Maybe we've fallen into their trap.
32:38Maybe you're right.
32:38It's a marketing stunt and they've made it onto the show, dammit.
32:42Good luck, Corbs.
32:43While we're not all talking about their product, L&P, which is delicious, by the way.
32:47I love it.
32:48Yeah, I love it.
32:49It's a great summer drink, even though it's getting close to winter.
32:52But what flavour is it?
32:54I mean, it's lemon and Pairo.
32:56But what flavour is it?
32:57What flavour is Pairo?
32:58I don't know.
32:59I think the yellow is for the lemon and the brown is from the dairy effluent that flows into the
33:04river.
33:07I don't know, but it doesn't matter because it tastes so good.
33:09And it makes me feel great.
33:12You can relax, Tomo.
33:15And you can hear the proper version of Paige's hit song, Twenties,
33:18which was the song she played for Team Two.
33:20It's all over the place.
33:21Instant classic.
33:22So find her on the socials.
33:23Please give it up one more time for Paige.
33:25Amazing, amazing.
33:26So good.
33:27Sounds amazing.
33:28So good.
33:30For points for Slice, Team One, you're going to have 144.
33:34That's the number of pages in a new book written by our warm-up guy, Sam Smith.
33:38Yes.
33:39Wow.
33:41It's a lovely graphic novel called The Curse of the Carnivorous Cactuses,
33:46for five to ten-year-olds.
33:48Team Two, I was going to say 20, which is how many dollars Sam paid me to say that,
33:52but I've got a better one because it's got a great video.
33:54So you get two points.
33:55That's the number of seconds a Delaware man won the Delaware marathon by
34:00after pipping another runner celebrating a little too early at the finish line.
34:04Have a look.
34:04Did you read that?
34:05No.
34:06Yeah!
34:07Yeah!
34:22I love what that means. Team One gets a star!
34:27Alright, after the break, we've got a game of history to test your nostalgic knowledge.
34:31See you back here on Seven Days.
34:33Cheers.
34:46Oh, my.
34:47Welcome back to Seven Days.
34:49Do you remember the past?
34:50Me too.
34:51Good times.
34:52And I thought I'd bring back those good times with the game of history here on Seven Days.
34:55Please, teams, take a look at your screens and see what people from the past are joining
35:00us in studio tonight.
35:02Bizarra Clark and Vanessa Kelly, through their dance group Deep Obsession, seem to be making
35:07some serious inroads into overseas markets.
35:10They've had solid chart success here, and on the strength of that, Universal Records
35:15have poured half a million dollars into their international assault.
35:25I feel so cold, please make me warm, I feel alone, please hold me close.
35:33Lost in love and I don't know much, thinking aloud how it fell out of touch, I'm back on
35:41my feet and I'm eager to be what you wanted.
35:45Yeah, give it up for Deep Obsession, amazing.
35:49Great singles there.
35:51As the Kiwi Pop Juro stormed the charts in 99, three consecutive number one hits are the
35:55only Kiwi group to ever do so.
35:57And joining us in studio, we have Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession.
36:00Joining Vanessa, we have a self-described raver and Buddhist, a person addicted to African
36:08wildlife adventures and an ultramarathon runner.
36:11So they are the people up there, you need to identify Vanessa, of course, team one, you
36:15can begin.
36:16They can't answer questions, they can perform actions.
36:19Oh, okay.
36:21This might sound weird.
36:22Um, can I make these women dance for me?
36:26You can request.
36:27Thank you, Jeremy.
36:27Thank you, Jeremy.
36:28Okay, I request.
36:29Okay.
36:29Just quickly, just quickly, because it's a raver and a Buddhist, right?
36:33Great.
36:35Cool.
36:36Yeah.
36:38Cool.
36:39Okay.
36:41Okay.
36:45Okay.
36:47And your findings?
36:50Well, I'd have to go on another date.
36:53That was the most uncomfortable I've ever thought.
36:57I think there was a little bit more pep in number fours dancing, actually.
37:01A little bit more raining.
37:01A little bit for the...
37:02Maybe, for the raver.
37:04Okay.
37:04I've got another test for the wildlife adventurer.
37:07Okay.
37:07Okay.
37:08Okay.
37:13No, nothing.
37:17All right.
37:18What have you got for me?
37:19Okay, right.
37:19Okay.
37:19We've got to pick.
37:20We've got to pick.
37:21Okay, so what do we have so far?
37:22We've got...
37:23Ultra runner.
37:24Yeah.
37:25Well, number one what?
37:26Wildlife.
37:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:34So she's the raver Buddhist, number two, and then number three is our pop star.
37:38Team one thinks number three is Vanessa from Deep Obsession, back in the 90s.
37:42Team two, your turn now.
37:44Okay.
37:44I feel like four lived a life and now wants to settle down.
37:49Oh.
37:50That's who I think could be the pop star of nothing else but that.
37:54What else, Bubba?
37:55I want to know what else you'll...
37:56I feel like you're one of those women that senses...
37:59I'd like to know...
38:00I think you should do the guessing.
38:01Yeah, absolutely.
38:03You all look like teachers.
38:07Do you want me to give you the category and you give me what number it is?
38:10Yeah, let's go.
38:11Okay.
38:12Addicted to African wildlife adventures?
38:14I would say number one.
38:16Okay.
38:17Ultramarathon runner?
38:18I want to say two.
38:20Nice.
38:20Two.
38:21Ultramarathon.
38:21Raver and Buddhist?
38:23I want to say three.
38:24So you think Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession is number...
38:28Four.
38:29Team one thinks Vanessa Kelly is number three.
38:31Team two thinks Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession is number four.
38:34Can I ask Vanessa Kelly from Deep Obsession to step forward please?
38:39Oh!
38:42Oh!
38:44Thank you for joining us.
38:49Thank you for joining us.
38:52I remember.
38:52It was an amazing time.
38:54Yeah, it was.
38:54Do you remember any of those dance moves that bring back a few memories?
38:57Yeah, I don't know.
38:58Some of them I probably could work on but I'm not sure.
39:01Some of them are a bit painful now.
39:02Who would be your favourite person you performed with because there were some pretty big names
39:05there.
39:05Gosh.
39:07Macy Gray.
39:07She was pretty amazing.
39:08Oh really?
39:09She was wild.
39:09She was amazing.
39:10Actually, I have to say S Club 7 were a really lovely group of people.
39:13Really lovely kids.
39:14Didn't you do like a party for Robbie Williams or something?
39:17Yes.
39:17Yeah.
39:18Wow.
39:18Management crew so that was really fun.
39:20Yeah.
39:21500 grand, half a million dollars.
39:23What did you do with it?
39:24I know.
39:24We didn't do anything with it.
39:25You didn't?
39:26No.
39:26I think everyone had a really good time on us.
39:30But I went into, I know it sounds harsh but yeah, I mean it was a different industry
39:34too.
39:35Put it this way.
39:35We had a lot of travelling which was amazing, great experiences and very different industry
39:40now for sure.
39:41Don't put out the memoirs, sis.
39:44I know.
39:44Yeah, there's a lot.
39:45There's a lot of stories.
39:47That's amazing, girl.
39:47Definitely.
39:47And for clarification because people sort of probably assume that it's manufactured
39:51but you wrote all your own songs.
39:53We did.
39:53Yeah.
39:54Vanessa, can I tell you a secret?
39:56Yeah.
39:56I actually knew who you were because I used to work in the warehouse, music department
40:01of the warehouse, Tenderloo.
40:03Yeah.
40:03And I sold 500,000 copies of your CD and so I saw your face quite a lot.
40:08Fantastic.
40:09You didn't say that before, did you?
40:12No.
40:15That's why I said I'm going to tell you a secret.
40:17I feel like I actually was present as a 20 something year old on the shooting of one
40:23of your video clips.
40:24You look very familiar actually.
40:26Yeah.
40:26I feel so cold video clip where you guys were in the crazy like hats and I think a friend
40:32of mine was directing or something and I got to come and watch that and I was like mesmerised
40:36because it was like, whoa, this is show business.
40:39It was amazing.
40:39Oh, fantastic.
40:40It was amazing.
41:05Yay.
41:06That is number two.
41:07You're two for two team one.
41:08Addicted to African wildlife adventures.
41:10Oh.
41:10That is number four.
41:12It struck out there.
41:13An ultra marathon runner.
41:14Thank you very much.
41:16Give them all a round of applause.
41:17Keep your calls going for team one.
41:18They cleaned up.
41:19They get the start.
41:20Well done.
41:22It is nearly time for a break but first you at home have your very own Burger Fuel Brain
41:25Grill.
41:26Here's a picture from 1990, the year we're looking at.
41:30Soak a little bit of that in.
41:31Head to our 7 Days Instagram or Facebook page.
41:34Send us your caption that sort of fills in the blanks.
41:36You could win Burger Fuel for you and potentially others if you want to share that $100 voucher.
41:40You get stuck in.
41:41We will take a break.
41:42But don't go far because I'm chomping at the bit to get my dinger out for a classic game
41:46of Beat the Ding here on 7 Days Next.
42:02Kia ora.
42:02Welcome back to the final of this epic episode of 7 Days where the game hangs in the balance.
42:07Only one round can lift the team to glory and bring the other crashing down in a burning
42:11heap and I'm talking of course about Beat the Ding or BTD as everyone's calling it.
42:15I'm going to give each of our contestants a category of things to list and a lot of time
42:19before I go to town on this shiny dinger.
42:21Success earns the team a star.
42:23Failure earns them shame and embarrassment and no star.
42:27Here we go.
42:28Pakaranga Bakery has horse meat pies back on the menu.
42:31Josh you have 10 seconds to name 8 types of bakery pie with a nay in between each one.
42:37Please.
42:38Go.
42:38Steak and mushroom.
42:39No!
42:41Mince.
42:42No!
42:42Mince and cheese.
42:43No!
42:43Apple.
42:44No!
42:45Blueberry.
42:45No!
42:46Three more.
42:49Custard.
42:49No!
42:50No!
42:51No!
42:52No!
42:55Sorry Josh.
42:57I couldn't do it to you anyway.
42:58We do have a lot of feedback about blueberry pies.
43:00We're going to find that in New Zealand.
43:01No one does a blueberry pie.
43:02Why did I get the horse meat category?
43:04Jeremy.
43:06Racism.
43:08Alright.
43:09New York Mayor Zoran Mamdami is still receiving royalties for his brief career as a rapper.
43:13where he used the name Young Cardamom.
43:16Rhys, I'll give you 14 seconds to come up with 5 possible hip hop names based on herbs
43:21or spices.
43:22Go.
43:22Uh, Old Sage the Bastard.
43:25Ha ha!
43:26Um, uh, uh, uh, Perry Perry twice as nice.
43:30Um, uh, Koomin my pants.
43:33Um, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Cardamom Darnie.
43:39Um, uh, uh, uh, uh, salt and pepper.
43:41Salt and pepper.
43:45I'll give you a star.
43:46Well done.
43:47Well done.
43:47Well done.
43:47Love the panic in your voice.
43:49Alright.
43:50Lani Daniels has claimed her third world title becoming New Zealand's most decorated boxer.
43:54Ooh.
43:55Bubba, you have 10 seconds to show us four boxing punches and name them.
44:00Go.
44:00Um, oh my god.
44:01What?
44:01Um, the mother f***er.
44:03Oh my god.
44:05Oh my god.
44:06Oh my god.
44:07Oh my god.
44:08Oh my god.
44:09Oh my god.
44:09Oh my god.
44:09Oh my god.
44:10Oh my god.
44:12Oh my god.
44:16Oh my god.
44:17Oh my god.
44:19Oh my god.
44:20Oh my god.
44:22Oh my god.
44:22Oh my god.
44:24Oh my god.
44:25Oh my god.
44:25Oh my god.
44:26Oh my god.
44:26Oh my god.
44:26That is a star.
44:27Well done Bubba, you get a star.
44:30Oh my god.
44:30That is all she wrote for this episode, I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you.
44:33The winner of this week's show is team...
44:36Two.
44:38Congratulations, well done
44:40Enjoy your garlic naan boogie boards
44:42Remember to wait 30 minutes after eating it to go swimming
44:45Thank you all at home for watching
44:47Stay safe out there Wellington
44:48Everyone else, please join me in thanking our wonderful panellists
44:50Madeline Crumb, Josh, Rhys, Bubba and Brunley
44:53We'll see you in seven days on Seven Days
44:55Good night
45:03Thank you New Zealand on the air
45:04I know it's not an easy funding decision
45:06If you don't know how the funding rounds work
45:07Basically we apply kind of end of the year
45:10That goes into a panellist who decides whether or not we deemed worthy
45:14For any of the money that's coming through
45:15That gets pulled down to a smaller funnel
45:18In which case we have to then compete against other shows
45:21Maybe it's on
45:21Shhh
45:22Mwah
45:22Mwah
45:23Mwah
45:23Mwah
45:24Mwah
45:24Mwah
45:24Mwah
45:25Mwah
45:25Mwah
45:25Mwah
45:26Mwah
45:26Mwah
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