- 7 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
Ep
Ep
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:06Please save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:43Rejuvenate.
00:00:51Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:05Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels! Because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:35Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:49You're juvenile.
00:01:54See? Good is the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo. Let's go!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:16Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:21We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:23If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26Be Lysander Armstrong.
00:02:28His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:32He's so hot. Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:56Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married?
00:03:05I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:23We're talking about my brother's life.
00:03:24I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27No!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:40Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:44Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What? Oh, jeez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:14Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:25What? My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on. Come on.
00:04:33Oh!
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:49What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:55Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General. I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:25I have no clue what this is.
00:05:30Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:07If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:16The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess.
00:06:23That's correct.
00:06:24Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:47bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her. James, come.
00:06:51Put out a bounty to the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will get her five million dollars.
00:06:59There's no need.
00:07:14I'll save your son.
00:07:17Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:22Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:28God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:39That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:51Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:56But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:03Could you hold this?
00:08:04Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:20Who knows what an unskilled whore girl like her would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:30Ew!
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:33Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:35Security!
00:08:35Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:40If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander into no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:55You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58All right.
00:08:59I'll give you a shot.
00:09:01But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:12And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:20Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:23No, Miss Trixie. My brother is a hero to me. I can't lose him.
00:09:29Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:39Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:46As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her.
00:09:56Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:01Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:08But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:09I'm saving this patient.
00:10:20Oh, okay.
00:10:23What's happening?
00:10:24What are we doing?
00:10:36What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv!
00:10:41She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know that Sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane?
00:10:49Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:53He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:11:00Yeah, right. I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:04Oh, okay. I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard of endo cryo...
00:11:15What? What?
00:11:18This?
00:11:25Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29What? So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is, what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:11:36Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree. I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have
00:11:47studied for years?
00:11:49We are all certified.
00:11:51But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right about everything.
00:11:58Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again, there is no such thing as endo cryo what what?
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphy.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:11Because I just discovered it.
00:12:13This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:19A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:27What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:33Precisely. You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:41I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:45Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:49And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases, which mean nothing if you can't
00:12:56wake him up.
00:12:57Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:59Oh my God.
00:13:01If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up, I think you all should grow parts of your brain
00:13:07back.
00:13:07Which, by the way, that condition is called anencephaly.
00:13:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're being schooled by me and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:26And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:32These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:37You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:48Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:52It's a deal.
00:13:53I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:56No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:15Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:33I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:38Prepare a Jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:43Don't listen to her!
00:14:45She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:50Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:54Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery,
00:14:57you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:01What? Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's life at stake here.
00:15:08And you're standing in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:14Now stop getting in my way.
00:15:16Or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh, yeah?
00:15:21Hey, you wanna see real pain?
00:15:22Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well, put down the dog!
00:15:24With pleasure.
00:15:35Oh!
00:15:41Left leaves the wrong bereft.
00:15:48You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right hands can save lives.
00:16:02But in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:06This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course.
00:16:13I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I wanna save someone, even the grim reaper can't stop me.
00:16:36Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:37This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:39I thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way.
00:16:42Angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call...
00:16:45Malpractice.
00:16:47This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:50But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:52Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:57Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:04Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:05Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:14General Armstrong,
00:17:15your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on.
00:17:24You two are going in there... alone?
00:17:27If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:33All right.
00:17:34But I warn you.
00:17:35No funny business.
00:17:38No funny business.
00:17:41What's wrong?
00:17:45You want to be a tree?
00:17:47No.
00:17:50No.
00:17:51No.
00:17:58No.
00:18:00No.
00:18:00No.
00:18:02No.
00:18:04No.
00:18:05No.
00:18:05No.
00:18:07No.
00:18:39You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
00:18:43Exactly!
00:18:44What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:18:47She could blackmail you for millions.
00:18:50That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:18:52And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation, held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:18:59Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:02We have to have faith.
00:19:04Where did you actually find the slow light?
00:19:07And, uh, on the streets?
00:19:11Are you shitting me?
00:19:13You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:15Are you nuts?
00:19:15You don't know her.
00:19:17You don't know her background.
00:19:18She could be a psychotic murderer.
00:19:20That is it, General.
00:19:21You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:23You're right.
00:19:23That's it.
00:19:24I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:26James, let's go.
00:19:27Yes, sir.
00:19:38I told you all to stay out.
00:19:46This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:47We can't be interrupted.
00:19:48Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:54I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:00I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:02No.
00:20:07You see that, General?
00:20:08This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:10This is a witchcraft.
00:20:13I know what this is.
00:20:15This is the dark witch.
00:20:17I've heard of her.
00:20:18She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive.
00:20:24I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:27James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:30Yes, sir.
00:20:34You regain consciousness.
00:20:46Help me.
00:20:47I just want to...
00:20:52Something's wrong.
00:20:56You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:59Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:04That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:13Sir?
00:21:14The SWAT team is here.
00:21:16Captain Morales.
00:21:19My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:24I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:27Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:29We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:36Right.
00:21:38Rewrites the wrong.
00:21:42Human.
00:21:46Who the fuck are you?
00:21:48And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:51Good.
00:21:52You're awake.
00:21:53I'm saving you.
00:21:54Saving me?
00:21:56By bathing with me?
00:21:58Who are you?
00:21:59You're a fucking spy?
00:22:01Talk!
00:22:01I swear to God.
00:22:02I'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:05You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stipper.
00:22:10I will never.
00:22:11Oh, really?
00:22:26Look who's guilty now.
00:22:29Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, alright, but it is a biological fact.
00:22:33A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:39Science, okay?
00:22:40It just means that my body is physically...
00:22:45You're distracting me with your funny.
00:22:47And I'm a professional.
00:22:49I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:51Captain, do something now.
00:22:53Ready!
00:22:58We're almost there.
00:23:00Aim!
00:23:02Get him, boys.
00:23:04Get him!
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:10Fire!
00:23:25Fire!
00:23:26Those amicils.
00:23:27How is this possible?
00:23:29It's not even a scratch.
00:23:31I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:33Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:36No.
00:23:36I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:39She's not the dark witch.
00:23:40Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:44This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:48How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:50That's right.
00:23:51The Queen, Angel, and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:55If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:58Except for the goddess healer.
00:23:59Think about it.
00:24:00We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:02He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:04Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:05You're right.
00:24:06This homeless girl is maybe the goddess...
00:24:12Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess...
00:24:15No!
00:24:15No!
00:24:16Absolutely not!
00:24:18There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:21But how could you know for sure?
00:24:22Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:26You're wrong, sir!
00:24:27This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:32It's called borderline revival.
00:24:34She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:37But only temporarily.
00:24:39It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:43That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:46I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod-bearing witch.
00:24:52My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:54He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:58Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:25:01I'm the witch doctor.
00:25:02Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:07My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:09You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:13I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:19from me.
00:25:21This isn't the finishing touch.
00:25:24I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:27So we can both survive.
00:25:47It's poison gas.
00:25:50The poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:55Poison gas?
00:25:56My son is in there.
00:25:58You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:26:00No, don't worry, General.
00:26:01Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:05Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:08Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:10And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:13They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:18I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
00:26:21But it's now or never.
00:26:35What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:37It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:39Wait a second.
00:26:40You don't think that they're...
00:26:42You!
00:26:43You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:45Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:47If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger!
00:26:51Oh my god.
00:26:51Yeah?
00:26:52She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:54I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:58Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:27:02This is taking way too long.
00:27:05Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:08These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:13Bazooka.
00:27:13She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:16Crap.
00:27:17Oh my god.
00:27:17Get back, son.
00:27:18Oh.
00:27:20Ready.
00:27:21Aim!
00:27:22Oh, shit.
00:27:27Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:41The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:44Shoot her dead now.
00:27:44Do I need to fix your hearing, too?
00:27:47I said stand down.
00:27:50Don't listen to her.
00:27:51She's a fraud.
00:27:52A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:55I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:58If I'm a termite, then you're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:28:03Wait a second.
00:28:04Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:06He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:07You can see for yourself.
00:28:09Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:12That is it.
00:28:13No more stalling, General.
00:28:15If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:21Don't hurt her.
00:28:27He's a cure.
00:28:34His pulse is regular.
00:28:35In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:40There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:51Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:53Lysander's warm again.
00:28:54He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:56And his heart is strong.
00:28:58Come, feel it.
00:29:01I saved my son.
00:29:04Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:07Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:12I've learned my lesson.
00:29:13I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:18Wait, wait, no, no.
00:29:19There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen,
00:29:25Angel, and I.
00:29:28The goddess healer.
00:29:33Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:36But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look a
00:29:42day after 20.
00:29:44It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:45What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:48Devin, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:52Take care.
00:29:53No, wait.
00:29:54Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:57He's right.
00:29:58We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
00:30:03if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:06Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:10I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:13I...
00:30:15I'm already engaged.
00:30:19Already engaged?
00:30:20I am.
00:30:21I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years.
00:30:25And he's coming back today.
00:30:27But don't be disappointed.
00:30:29Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:31I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:33Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:36But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:38Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:41Take the gold.
00:30:42No, really.
00:30:44I don't need anything.
00:30:46I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:51Trixie, it's your fiancée.
00:30:53He's back.
00:30:54And he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:58I must go.
00:31:06Hobo close.
00:31:07Halo glow.
00:31:09I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:12It was just dumb luck.
00:31:14She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:17She could have been the richest woman in the world.
00:31:19Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:25I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:32Oh, my God.
00:31:33I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:39No, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:42Lysander Armstrong was supposed to be mine.
00:31:46I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:50You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:53Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:57Wait.
00:31:57No.
00:31:58We're not brides.
00:31:59No, she's just better than us.
00:32:02Oh, my God.
00:32:04Oh, my God.
00:32:06We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:09She's no average Jane.
00:32:10No, she isn't.
00:32:11She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:13But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and
00:32:18had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:20But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:21No normal person could have done that.
00:32:23Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:27I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:28I have to find her.
00:32:29I have to make her my life.
00:32:31She won my heart over, too.
00:32:32But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:36All right, listen.
00:32:38I need help.
00:32:39I need three wedding gifts.
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things, out of my house now.
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:55She waited for you for three years.
00:32:58She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:00And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:33:02One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:04So get lost.
00:33:07Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:16Grandma.
00:33:17Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:20I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:23I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:27In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:30So sign over the house now.
00:33:37You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:40And I did.
00:33:42For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:44Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:46And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:52We were together for three years and, uh, it was a complete waste of my life when I could
00:33:56have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:03That's how much you would owe me if I was in the rent-to-boyfriend business.
00:34:09I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:17Oh, yeah?
00:34:19Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
00:34:23She grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:26And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
00:34:33And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing.
00:34:37So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:40Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:42Look what she, uh, got me for my engagement.
00:34:45Oops.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:58You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:59I certainly did.
00:35:01In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to
00:35:08me.
00:35:13Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:15That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:18You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:22My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:35:28How dare you insult her?
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:32Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:35Poor Edna.
00:35:36She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:41Show her, Bob.
00:35:47This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:35:51She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:53She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:56I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:36:00Even if you got no game, I got street cred I got off-keep.
00:36:03You dig?
00:36:04The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:06And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:10Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:15I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:17I want to see how regular, everyday people live so that I can help them.
00:36:23Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:36:27What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:36:37Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:39Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:54At your wedding, I will.
00:36:56What?
00:36:58If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend,
00:37:02why should I do good by you?
00:37:05I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:10Fucking bitch!
00:37:12You better keep your word.
00:37:13Oh, that's rich.
00:37:15After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:18Do you remember that?
00:37:26Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:28They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:33Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:37:37I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:40Trillions?
00:37:43That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:47It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:37:53I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:56That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:38:01It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:05But please, Trixie dear, I know it was to broken your heart, but embellishing your worth and who you are,
00:38:14it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:17You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:19After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills, I vowed that I
00:38:26would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:38:29That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity.
00:38:33You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:35I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right, who actually deserves you.
00:38:41You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:51You said Trixie's crushing your wedding?
00:38:53She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:56She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:39:00I hope when nobody steps on Snake, Snake bites back hard.
00:39:05So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:06Yeah, you mean we broadcast that video of me?
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:17Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:39:20She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess against my
00:39:25presidential glow-up.
00:39:26Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:35There he is.
00:39:38Welcome home, brother.
00:39:40Welcome home, General!
00:39:44Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:49He served with your regiment in the Marines.
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:39:54Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:58So she waited for him for years, and then he betrayed her.
00:40:01Fucking coward.
00:40:02According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:40:05Then we should join her.
00:40:08Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:13So she needs our support.
00:40:15Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
00:40:20Then let's roll.
00:40:36Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:39Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:41Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract allowing
00:40:47my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:53Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:56Wakeham.
00:40:56Stowe, butch is taking my last name.
00:40:59Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:41:02You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a partay after all.
00:41:07I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:13The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:41:19It's an honor.
00:41:20And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:41:25We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin.
00:41:32Not so fast.
00:41:34The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:41:58You two really are a match made in hell.
00:42:01So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:04I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles.
00:42:07Who is she?
00:42:08This is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:11Just watch.
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:18You lost.
00:42:18I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
00:42:21You know, being this poor.
00:42:24Me, bum a meal.
00:42:26Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:30What evidence do you have of that?
00:42:31Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:37Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:42:41And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:44Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me.
00:42:46She's like...
00:42:48See, everyone?
00:42:50Butch already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my
00:42:56wedding to suck up to me.
00:42:57This is what poor, sad girls do.
00:43:00They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:43:05Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:19You giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:43:25So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
00:43:31dollar contract?
00:43:32We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:34And I saw potential in you.
00:43:36Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:43:38But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:42Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:43:45This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:47They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:50Damn right.
00:43:52You were too embarrassing for me.
00:43:55Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:57I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:44:00Bravo.
00:44:01Oh, self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:03Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:44:04Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:07She'll make her stop.
00:44:08Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:09She's the gold digging, blood sucking leech.
00:44:12I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch.
00:44:19You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:44:23Okay, enough.
00:44:24You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing.
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies to make you and girls feel better about yourselves.
00:44:33That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:37Because I've got the material goods and you're just all empty talk.
00:44:41I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:44:43Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:44:47See this?
00:44:59Oh my god.
00:45:01Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:06The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not.
00:45:10I don't believe it.
00:45:12You all sound so scared already.
00:45:14Don't worry.
00:45:15This isn't that contract.
00:45:17It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:45:23See, everyone?
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:26But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:45:28Look at her following orders.
00:45:29I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:45:32Like a good little peasant slave.
00:45:35That house is worth all her life savings.
00:45:40You want to, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:54You must understand me.
00:45:56I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:45:59And I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:07Bro!
00:46:08She's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:10She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:12she can pretend to be a deep pocket investment baddie.
00:46:15You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:18It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:20Uh, I know what this is.
00:46:23You've gone delusional.
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party
00:46:27and some Prince Charming will scoop you into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening.
00:46:32Security!
00:46:33Lock the doors.
00:46:34This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:46:39This is where your dreams will die, bitch.
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie, Lysander.
00:46:47She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:50Butch Tanner.
00:46:51Well, he's going to wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:46:54Let's go.
00:46:59You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:47:05Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:08General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:10You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:16You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:20So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here is going to believe you.
00:47:27If you really cured the incurable general, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:47:33And she's not.
00:47:33You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:37Show them, Butch.
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:46Trixie's just a freeloading beggar.
00:47:51She won't leave me and Marissa alone because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:55I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:57Sasa.
00:47:58She has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military.
00:48:03Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
00:48:08How despicable.
00:48:09She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:13Get out of here.
00:48:14No one wants to marry you.
00:48:15No free meals for the poor.
00:48:17Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society.
00:48:21So you're either born on a silver spoon or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:48:26Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in
00:48:31your tin can.
00:48:35I already have everything one can dream of, but I valued our friendship, Marissa, which
00:48:40is why I came here to give you a second chance, to see if you'd apologize and admit to your
00:48:44backstabbing.
00:48:45But no, you stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:48:50Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:48:54And who knows, if you've already started offering sexual services.
00:48:59Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:03My brother will never take you back.
00:49:06No man will marry an embarrassed man like you.
00:49:09But make me happy, and I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:49:25How dare you hit my brother?
00:49:27I'm never letting you leave here alive.
00:49:30That's awesome.
00:49:31I had to do something.
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:34After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:49:40Oh, is that so?
00:49:42Security!
00:49:44Get down on your knees, and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
00:49:50or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:54I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:50:02Dream on!
00:50:04You wish General Licender scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:50:08You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:10Enough!
00:50:12You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:18On the count of three!
00:50:20I think I quite like it here.
00:50:21Two!
00:50:23Two!
00:50:32Mmm, this wine is so delicious.
00:50:36One!
00:50:37Shoot!
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:50:50It's...
00:50:50It's...
00:51:00Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No, I'm fine.
00:51:11But, um, when did I become your future wife?
00:51:16You saved me, Trixie, remember?
00:51:18I'm a man of my word.
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
00:51:22Really, it was nothing.
00:51:25I saved you because you're a good man, not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:51:30Ahem.
00:51:35I see what this is.
00:51:36You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:39Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
00:51:41Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:42She waited for you for three years.
00:51:43This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:51:49Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh.
00:51:52She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:54No man who, in a hundred-foot pole, would want to touch her.
00:51:58She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:52:05I see her in the Marines.
00:52:08I'm a major and a look man.
00:52:11I know Trixie is like a, I don't know, like a seven now that she's all cleaned up,
00:52:16but don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:25A real man never talks about a woman that way.
00:52:29You're a coward.
00:52:40We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:52:44You're very gracious, Trixie.
00:52:46You know that?
00:52:49You're only getting off of it because she's so kind.
00:52:51So you're going to do me the favor of never coming near her again.
00:52:54You understand?
00:52:54You want to fuck with me, you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major.
00:52:58You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:53:01I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:53:03Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were in the Marines.
00:53:07What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just a supply boy.
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:20Poor girl.
00:53:21Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:28Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:53:34A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:36What a pair.
00:53:38Seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:53:42Maybe we should try to play some of some more, don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:57Trixie, listen.
00:53:57I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:54:01But I know that we shared a moment.
00:54:06I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:54:10It's not in my nature.
00:54:12I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:15Listen, Trixie, I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:22So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:25So I know that you're the one for me.
00:54:29This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:54:34Oscar worthy.
00:54:35Oscar worthy.
00:54:37No.
00:54:38First gift.
00:54:44Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:46So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:50Worth $500 million, previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:55Second gift.
00:54:59This contains all the rights to my entire fortune, which is now yours.
00:55:05Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07Must be that easy.
00:55:08They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:11They've got nothing left.
00:55:12Why, Sander, I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:15No, look, I know.
00:55:17I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:20Okay?
00:55:21Which is exactly why my third gift is, um, well...
00:55:41Cleo!
00:55:43Hey!
00:55:44Oh my god.
00:55:46You found my dog.
00:55:52Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:53But with you, it's so much more.
00:55:56Trixie Amore.
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:03You know I can't say no to this doggo.
00:56:09Yes, I will marry you.
00:56:27Go, go, power couple.
00:56:30Woo!
00:56:31Okay, stop.
00:56:33The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:56:37Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is.
00:56:41No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:56:46Hey.
00:56:47I don't care if she's homeless or not, but I'm making this woman my wife.
00:56:51Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on earth.
00:56:56Understand?
00:57:01You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on earth.
00:57:05This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:15As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:22Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market.
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:57:32I bet my life you're all just actors.
00:57:35Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:57:37Come on, Lysander.
00:57:38What are we waiting for?
00:57:39Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:57:41What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us, the elites?
00:57:44Infect us with your poor people bad luck.
00:57:46She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:57:50Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum.
00:57:54She's utterly unmarriable.
00:57:58I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:58:03I'd handle them myself, but...
00:58:07I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:58:09Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:17Yes, hello, this is Lysander.
00:58:19Please bankrupt the Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:23Oh my gosh, I'm so scared.
00:58:25Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:58:35Uh, hello?
00:58:37Yes.
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm going bankrupt!
00:58:48Hey, hey, hey.
00:58:55Are you sure that was the call, Sasa?
00:58:58That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:59:01My company's dead.
00:59:03Evaporated.
00:59:04It's in thin air.
00:59:08And that's impossible.
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:16And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:20Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:23Then that means...
00:59:26You're really Lysander Armstrong, the richest and most powerful man in the country.
00:59:33Trixie's married.
00:59:35The famed war hero.
00:59:37The man every girl wants and every man wants to be.
00:59:41Now you believe me?
00:59:42Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
00:59:46There's got to be some trick to this.
00:59:48You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
00:59:51Sasa.
00:59:52Sasa.
00:59:53Sasa.
00:59:54Sasa.
00:59:58Sasa.
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie.
01:00:02Because you've been in the military for so long, you don't know what a real woman can do for you.
01:00:07Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:12Do you have your hands for me?
01:00:14Or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:16Ah!
01:00:17Ah!
01:00:18Ah!
01:00:18Ah!
01:00:20I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:26Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company.
01:00:34I don't blame her at all.
01:00:35Your double standards are incredible.
01:00:37Okay, you don't want me.
01:00:39Fine.
01:00:40But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:00:42I can give you a room full of pageant winners.
01:00:4418 years old.
01:00:46Fresh for the taking.
01:00:54I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:00:57Thank you, Devin.
01:00:59Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé,
01:01:06but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:10You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:01:12No, to all of humanity.
01:01:14So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:21Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:25They're imposters.
01:01:26Woo!
01:01:30I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting canceled
01:01:34because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:01:37So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40The goddess healer?
01:01:41You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:47Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:01:51The goddess healer's motto is, the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong, the rest.
01:01:58That means she's rewarding me.
01:02:00The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:02:04In fact, she's on her way now.
01:02:07So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:15If the president and the goddess healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:21We can break his legs, break his arms.
01:02:23No one would even bat an eye.
01:02:24She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:28FBI!
01:02:30FBI!
01:02:31You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:02:39I guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:02:44No, don't arrest her!
01:02:46Trixie's a good person.
01:02:48Please, officer, don't arrest her!
01:02:50Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Williams, what are you all doing here?
01:02:54The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch.
01:02:57We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:03:00Listen, officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria, it's a good neighbor.
01:03:05She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition, Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her
01:03:14out.
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:18My fiancé really is an incredible woman.
01:03:21She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:28You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:34He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:42And that's why it's twice the crime for stealing his identity.
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorists.
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:58But I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:04If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiancé.
01:04:09You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:10Let's go!
01:04:34Get him!
01:04:35If you want to arrest me, if you can.
01:05:04Oh
01:05:06Oh
01:05:26Is that enough pain or do you want more?
01:05:37Legend is written all over you, Leicenander
01:05:42Grandma
01:05:44Meet my new fiance
01:05:48Wow, your new fiance
01:05:50He's so manly
01:05:52Much better than your last one
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better
01:05:57It's Butch's loss
01:05:58Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa
01:06:01She's like a shining star in the sky
01:06:04And Marissa's like a roach in the sewers
01:06:07Bitch, we name calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side
01:06:11Right fam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor
01:06:13Drown out the poor
01:06:16Drown out the poor
01:06:18Drown out the poor
01:06:19Drown out the poor
01:06:20See Trixie? You've got no connections
01:06:23No power
01:06:24You can't compete against me
01:06:26Even if you have one guy on your side who can fight
01:06:28We're too honorable to fight dirty like you
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield
01:06:33Because you know we won't hurt them
01:06:35Let them eat cake
01:06:46You can't shoot all of them
01:06:48You can't shoot all of them
01:06:48Grab what you can fam
01:06:49Attack
01:07:07You will not hurt a single soul in my presence
01:07:16What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was
01:07:18I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding
01:07:29Dammit!
01:07:30Dammit, dammit
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun too
01:07:35That'll teach you for messing with the wig hams
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here
01:07:39We're cornered
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off
01:07:42Devon, you and your brother are both good men
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain
01:07:48They will be punished
01:07:52Now hold still for me
01:07:56Right
01:07:57Ray rides the world
01:08:08Holy fuck
01:08:10Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:12By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:13Is she the goddess healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now
01:08:21Thank you Miss Trixie
01:08:22See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman
01:08:25No, please
01:08:26I am just an ordinary girl
01:08:28Don't put me on some sort of pedestal
01:08:30Sure
01:08:32You hear that?
01:08:33She's just some average homeless girl on the streets
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet
01:08:38While I do not care for glory
01:08:40I do believe in justice
01:08:43Marissa and Butch
01:08:44Not only have you betrayed me
01:08:46But now you've hurt the innocent too
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes
01:08:51And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:53God?
01:08:55Wrong
01:08:56But you're close
01:08:58Bullshit
01:08:59I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail bloody low lives
01:09:04You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:09:06Then let's see you try
01:09:07Charge!
01:09:08Charge!
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic
01:09:31You're not the grim reaper
01:09:32What if it's a trap?
01:09:34That woman has many tricks up her sleeves
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her
01:09:37She's nothing but a circus prostitute
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:43I will
01:09:47Left
01:09:48Leaves the wrong breast
01:09:56Left
01:09:56I'm fine
01:09:57Nothing happened
01:09:58You'll see soon enough
01:10:00Oh, please
01:10:01I really wanna die
01:10:03And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up
01:10:07Whoops!
01:10:08Just crossed it again
01:10:10Whoops!
01:10:11And again
01:10:12Nothing's happen-
01:10:14Stop!
01:10:15Stop!
01:10:17Stop!
01:10:19Stop!
01:10:20Stop!
01:10:21Stop!
01:10:24No!
01:10:25No!
01:10:26Hey
01:10:27What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything
01:10:30Your brother just didn't wanna heed my warning
01:10:33I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:36If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral
01:10:39Come on
01:10:41Major
01:10:41Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45See?
01:10:46This must be an illusion
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line
01:10:52Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you
01:11:04You'd go and hurt my brother
01:11:05Oh, please
01:11:06You hurt us first
01:11:08At first
01:11:09I was really hurt by your betrayal
01:11:11But I've come to realize
01:11:13Your true colors are that of a snake and a coward
01:11:15Marissa
01:11:16Thanks for taking this low life from me
01:11:20You blame yourself for being worthless
01:11:23You think anyone would wanna marry you when you got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife
01:11:38And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie
01:11:45But when the presidential contract arrives
01:11:47It'll hit you like a fucking truck
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony
01:11:51And I'm the queen of everything
01:11:52Oh really?
01:11:54Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want
01:11:57You've got nothing on me
01:12:03Yes
01:12:03Tell the president to get here immediately
01:12:10Goddess
01:12:11Madam President
01:12:12I require your assistance
01:12:14Yes, we'll be there immediately
01:12:19Get the VP, we're leaving now
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap
01:12:29But I didn't know you were crazy too
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie
01:12:36A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:40Ms. Wickham is correct
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier
01:12:43Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line
01:12:47You hear that everyone?
01:12:48There is no way
01:12:50Lowlife Trixie could have called the president by herself
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony
01:12:56Who doesn't get enough male attention
01:12:58So she's come here to play up her importance
01:13:00No, my granddaughter would never do that
01:13:03Reversing time just to heal someone's wound
01:13:06Only the goddess healer can do that
01:13:08Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:17Oh, first your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong
01:13:23And now you Trixie are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:28Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:32I never realized how delusional they were
01:13:34You can only dream of what you can never have
01:13:37While we rub our riches and privilege in their faces
01:13:40Look, I don't know what circus school you went to
01:13:43But you trying to make me jealous Trixie?
01:13:45It ain't working
01:13:46You can't just fake the
01:13:50Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary
01:13:53It's like real magic
01:13:55Trixie, you're an angel
01:13:57But the goddess healing is beyond your imagination
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex
01:14:03Won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No
01:14:09Trixie, look
01:14:11I believe you
01:14:12You saved me
01:14:14Whether you're a goddess or not
01:14:16You did that
01:14:18No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me
01:14:20We'll riot against you now
01:14:23Tear her apart
01:14:24Tear her apart
01:14:26Tear her apart
01:14:27Tear her apart
01:14:29Tear her apart
01:14:30Tear her apart
01:14:31Tear her apart
01:14:31The Vice President arrives
01:14:48Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:53You're General Lysander Armstrong
01:14:56Wait, what?
01:14:59He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:01No, no
01:15:02We've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:05Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:06This actor Trixie hired
01:15:08Pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me
01:15:11But you already confirmed with Madame President
01:15:13That I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:16Yes
01:15:16We all thought he was a fraud
01:15:18What I mean is
01:15:21You're the war hero
01:15:22General Lysander Armstrong
01:15:24And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:27The moment you wake up
01:15:29You fall under this vixen spell
01:15:31And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:35He is the general
01:15:37Oh, but he's in trouble now
01:15:39Did you hear that?
01:15:41Even the Vice President knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader
01:15:45So what if Trixie picked up some washed up war hero?
01:15:48We got the VP and the president
01:15:50On our side
01:15:51You'll always be nothing, Trixie
01:15:55I told you
01:15:56Now punish them, Vice President Langley
01:15:59This is treason
01:16:00Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles
01:16:08Hurry!
01:16:09The Goddess Healer needs us
01:16:13You can't do that, Mr. Vice President
01:16:15My brother is a war hero
01:16:17He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack
01:16:20He was in a coma for two years
01:16:21If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would
01:16:23Enough!
01:16:24You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family
01:16:28Not just your brother
01:16:30Yeah
01:16:31It's okay
01:16:33Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life
01:16:41And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President
01:16:43I never gave a fuck about any damn titles
01:16:49I truly saved a good man
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiance
01:16:59And what can you do about it?
01:17:01Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea
01:17:03My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military
01:17:08Let's try it out on them
01:17:12Hold on, Mr. Vice President
01:17:13There's no way that you're taking this seriously
01:17:15Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:18Despicable!
01:17:19What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power
01:17:24Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them
01:17:28Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:33Oh
01:17:42Shoot!
01:17:43Wait, that's the president
01:17:55What the hell?
01:17:58Hey, idiots!
01:18:05Oh my gosh!
01:18:07I'm so sorry, Madam President
01:18:09That was, they were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle
01:18:13What is this?
01:18:16Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military
01:18:19This is a war crime, these are innocent civilian lives you're messing with
01:18:23You're the uncivilized buffoon
01:18:25I can shoot whoever I want, I have the presidential contract
01:18:27With great power comes great responsibility
01:18:30And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:35What are you doing?
01:18:36Reverse the poison!
01:18:37And take it out of the present before it's too late!
01:18:39That is easy
01:18:41There's no need
01:18:43I'll save everyone
01:18:57It's raining gold!
01:19:01What's happening? Trixie doesn't have that kind of money
01:19:03It's gotta be cheap glitter
01:19:08She, she, she is
01:19:10She is a criminal
01:19:12Don't worry, Madam President
01:19:13We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison
01:19:15I'd be quiet if I were you
01:19:17Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up
01:19:20What are you talking about?
01:19:22The President literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract
01:19:34This contract?
01:19:36This contract?
01:19:36Yeah! Yes!
01:19:38Thank you, first gentleman
01:19:57My contract, you bitch!
01:19:59And that's not all
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day
01:20:15There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus
01:20:18Don't you realize?
01:20:19Or are you too much of a goody two shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa
01:20:26Money is worth more to you than human lives
01:20:29And that's something I cannot tolerate
01:20:30So prepare yourself
01:20:32Because I'm about to smite you
01:20:35What are you going to do?
01:20:37The President is here
01:20:39And I just invented the best biomedical products in the world
01:20:44You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now
01:20:50So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll...
01:20:54She's going to give me my billion dollar
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars
01:21:09Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:11You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar contract
01:21:14What do you wish, you idiot?
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile
01:21:21So ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit
01:21:23I don't understand, I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing
01:21:31And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:36You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:40The one and only
01:21:43And it's
01:21:47Her
01:21:47Her
01:21:58What?!
01:22:03Welcome, goddess
01:22:16You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:18How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:28Help those in need.
01:22:30And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:33No, so that means the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39Then she took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was her golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:22:47But after everything you've done, we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please, I swear. I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:59Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:00And she's an amazing person.
01:23:02And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:06She's going to be my wife.
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:16I love you.
01:23:30All her gold.
01:23:31All her clothes.
01:23:33All that could have been mine.
01:23:34This is all your fault.
01:23:36This is all.
01:23:37You seduce me.
01:23:39Don't pop me.
01:23:40You were the one that came onto me, you himbo.
01:23:44Please, Trixie.
01:23:45Give me another chance.
01:23:47I want to be rich again.
01:23:50I'll be your slave.
01:23:51Kiss the ground you walk on.
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:55But it's too late now.
01:23:57All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:02You two should be locked up.
01:24:03And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction, arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:11This is all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:13I never loved you.
01:24:15It's your fault.
01:24:15I was only with you for your money.
01:24:17I don't care.
01:24:18You were rich.
01:24:19I'll see myself now.
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:49Wait.
01:24:49What if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes.
01:24:53Well.
01:24:54Woo!
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02I do.
01:25:03You may kiss the bride.
01:25:05You may kiss the bride.
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