A grieving boy finds a hidden siopao vendor who gives him 9 lives — 8 to eat and forget his pain, the 9th to become the food for the next hungry soul.
#LikeAndSubscribe #SleepStories #PeculiarTales #Storyelling #creepystories
Attributions:
Title: Pawsome Vibes: Get Your Groove On with ‘Meow Meow
Athor: kjartan_abel
Souurce: https://freesound.org/s/679355/
License: Attribution 4.0
Title: vocals2.mp3
Author: padyak
Source: https://freesound.org/s/638618/
License: Creative Commons 0
#LikeAndSubscribe #SleepStories #PeculiarTales #Storyelling #creepystories
Attributions:
Title: Pawsome Vibes: Get Your Groove On with ‘Meow Meow
Athor: kjartan_abel
Souurce: https://freesound.org/s/679355/
License: Attribution 4.0
Title: vocals2.mp3
Author: padyak
Source: https://freesound.org/s/638618/
License: Creative Commons 0
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:01,
00:02,
00:04Lola, na ang ubang lalaki lahina.
00:09Misan nun sa kagwapo, talit ng kamang huwag na na.
00:15Ang bot nga ng gil nun aning, wag na lay, try to fear me.
00:22Karo na imutan na, hindi po mater nga pang showtime ka.
00:31Isa pa, one more.
00:34Nine stories, nine lives, nine buns.
00:38Ninth time you become.
00:41Story one, the first steam.
00:44Life for hunger.
00:46Kiko buried his Lola on a Tuesday.
00:49The priest said ashes to ashes.
00:52But the ground at Manila North was mud.
00:57It rained the whole time.
00:59It rained after.
01:01It rained inside his chest.
01:04Three days later, his Tian still hadn't gotten the memo that grief isn't edible.
01:13Rice was paper.
01:15Water was air.
01:16Even happy, roach, gravy tasted like something someone described to a person who'd never had a tongue.
01:26He was walking home from Trabaho market at the hour when the last vendors pack up.
01:34And the first strays come out to negotiate with God.
01:39That's when the smell found him.
01:42It wasn't food.
01:43It was memory with heat.
01:47It smelled like mornings before school, when Lola would wake him by lifting the cloth off a Bilao.
01:55It smelled like being small, and owned, and safe.
02:01It smelled like a promise.
02:04You don't have to be hollow.
02:06He turned before he decided to turn.
02:09The alley was between Aling Nina's sorry-sorry and the lotto outlet.
02:17He'd walked this street 2,000 times.
02:20The buildings had always been kissing.
02:23Now they'd taken a step back, to let something through.
02:29Too narrow.
02:31The walls were damp, even though it hadn't rained in hours.
02:36At the end, a light that didn't flicker.
02:40Under it, a carrie tun.
02:43Not the usual stainless steel, with mooning bough stickers.
02:48This was wood.
02:50Old wood.
02:51The kind that remembers being a tree.
02:55Three bamboo steamers sat stacked, exhaling.
03:00The vendor behind it wasn't old.
03:03Wasn't young.
03:06Kiko tried to look at his face.
03:08And his eyes kept sliding off.
03:11Like the man was made of soap.
03:14He wore a barong.
03:16No, an apron.
03:18No, nothing Kiko could name.
03:22Gutam Kha, the vendor said.
03:25Not a question.
03:27A diagnosis.
03:29Kiko's mouth opened.
03:32Isa.
03:33He didn't remember choosing the word.
03:36The vendor moved like time.
03:39Was thick around his wrists.
03:42Two fingers.
03:44Lifted the lid.
03:46Steam didn't escape.
03:48It descended, pooling at Kiko's ankles.
03:53Warm and heavy.
03:55Inside was one bun.
03:57It was perfect.
03:59Too perfect.
04:00The surface was flower-smooth, untouched by any thumb.
04:06But under it, faint lines shifted.
04:10Not veins.
04:12Roads.
04:13Like something in.
04:15There was remembering how to get somewhere.
04:18Kiko took it.
04:21It was body warm.
04:23Not fresh off the steamer hot.
04:26Body warm.
04:28Like it had been pressed to a chest.
04:31He bit.
04:32The market tore like wet paper.
04:36He was barefoot.
04:38Grass to his chest.
04:40But it wasn't grass.
04:41It was hair or thread.
04:44Or the stuff they make rosaries from.
04:47The sky was a bruise that had decided to be pretty.
04:53Things moved in the grass.
04:56Cats with eyes like his Tita when she lied.
05:00Children with whiskers.
05:02All of them circling a caldero.
05:06Bigger than the Barangai hull.
05:09Steam from it held the clouds up.
05:12One of them turned.
05:13It had Lola's smile.
05:16But not her teeth.
05:19Anak, it said.
05:21And the word was warm and wrong.
05:24Isapa.
05:25They all said it.
05:27Isapa.
05:29Isapa.
05:31Not demanding.
05:33Inviting.
05:34Like a hand.
05:36Reaching out in the dark.
05:39Kiko choked on air.
05:41And was back.
05:42Alley.
05:44Cart.
05:45His hands were empty.
05:47No crumbs.
05:49No oil on his fingers.
05:52No bun.
05:54Just gone.
05:55Like it had been a lie he told himself.
05:59And then believed.
06:01His stomach was quiet.
06:03The first time in three days.
06:06The vendor was closing the steamer.
06:09How much?
06:11Kiko asked.
06:13The question felt stupid and necessary.
06:17The vendor tilted his head.
06:20Bayadna.
06:22Nang Anno.
06:23The light above them considered buzzing.
06:27Then changed its mind.
06:30Kiko walked home.
06:32He looked back once.
06:34There was no alley.
06:36Just a wall.
06:38Bawal Amihidito in red paint.
06:42A cat sat under it.
06:45Orange.
06:46It blinked at him slow.
06:49Like it was counting.
06:51That night he dreamed of the field.
06:55He woke up and wasn't hungry.
06:57He was something else.
07:00Lives left.
07:01Eight.
07:02Story two.
07:04The second lid.
07:05Life for curiosity.
07:08He went back to prove it wasn't real.
07:12That's what he told himself.
07:14People don't hallucinate the same place twice.
07:18Grief does weird things.
07:21Low blood sugar does weirder things.
07:25He'd eaten that morning.
07:27Actual rice.
07:29Actual tuyo.
07:30It tasted like salt and regret.
07:34But it stayed down.
07:37The alley disagreed.
07:39It appeared at noon.
07:41When the sun made the asphalt soft enough to take fingerprints.
07:46He was buying load from Oling Nina.
07:48P.D.L.T.
07:5150 pesos.
07:53Regular load.
07:55When the smell threaded through the heat.
07:58Not hot.
08:00Warm.
08:02The difference between a stove and a hug.
08:06He turned.
08:07The alley was between the bakery and the lotto outlet.
08:12Again.
08:14Like it had picked a favorite spot.
08:17The cart.
08:19The steamers.
08:21The vendor whose face.
08:23Was a polite suggestion.
08:25You again.
08:27Kiko said.
08:28He tried to sound.
08:30Like he was accusing someone.
08:32You.
08:33The vendor agreed.
08:35Like Kiko.
08:36Was a recurring dream.
08:38He was also having.
08:41Anak Beira Salawab.
08:44Kiko pointed.
08:46His hand was shaking.
08:48Why can't I remember your face?
08:52What was in that bun?
08:53The vendor looked at him.
08:56For a long time.
08:58Or no time.
08:59Time got embarrassed.
09:01And looked away.
09:03Then he lifted a lid.
09:05This bun was different.
09:08The dough was thin.
09:10You could see through it.
09:12Like a communion wafer.
09:15Inside.
09:16Something was curled.
09:18It had a spine.
09:20It had eyelashes.
09:22It had a cowlick.
09:24Right there.
09:26The same one Kiko's Lola.
09:28Used to pat down with water.
09:30And spit.
09:32And to me Gilkot Jan.
09:34Kiko's legs.
09:36Considered retirement.
09:38Everything must become something else.
09:41The vendor said.
09:43His voice was the sound wood makes.
09:46When a house settles.
09:47At 3 a.m.
09:50That's that's A.
09:51Kiko couldn't say baby.
09:54Couldn't say me.
09:56Couldn't say us.
09:57Issa.
09:59The vendor said.
10:00Not a question.
10:02Not an offer.
10:04A next line in a script.
10:07Kiko's hand moved.
10:09He was screaming inside his head.
10:13His teeth weren't listening.
10:15He bit.
10:17This time the vision was a kitchen.
10:20No walls.
10:22No ceiling.
10:24Just a floor.
10:26That gave under his feet.
10:28Like dough.
10:29A hundred steamers.
10:31In rows.
10:32Things were climbing into them.
10:35Not being thrown.
10:37Climbing.
10:38A cat with six eyes.
10:41A boy with Kiko's old shirt.
10:43A woman who was almost his mother.
10:47When she was twenty.
10:49And still hopeful.
10:51They looked at him.
10:53As they lowered themselves in.
10:55Not scared.
10:57Late for something.
10:59He was back on the sidewalk.
11:02On his knees.
11:04The alley was gone.
11:06His phone was blowing up.
11:09Seventeen missed calls.
11:12T-tar.
11:14T-tar.
11:15T-tar.
11:17T-tar.
11:19Kiko.
11:20You were supposed to be here.
11:22For the forty days.
11:24He got home.
11:26He couldn't remember.
11:28What forty days meant.
11:30He knew it was important.
11:32Like a test.
11:34He hadn't studied for.
11:36He opened his gallery.
11:38He'd taken a picture.
11:40Of Lola's lapida.
11:42To remember the dates.
11:44To remember her middle name.
11:47The picture was flowers.
11:50Just flowers.
11:52No stone.
11:54No name.
11:55He typed her name into Google.
11:59Rosario L.
12:00Rosario L.
12:00L what?
12:02His chest was a steamer.
12:04With no lid.
12:06Lives left.
12:08Seven.
12:09Story three.
12:10The third bite.
12:12Life for company.
12:13June would split his last show pal with you.
12:17That was June's whole personality.
12:21If you were Gutom.
12:23June was Gutom.
12:25If you were sad.
12:27June would make a joke.
12:29So bad it reset your brain.
12:31So when the alley showed up outside gate two of Kiko's school.
12:36Kiko thought.
12:39Witness.
12:40If June sees it.
12:42It's real.
12:43If June eats it.
12:45I'm not crazy.
12:47If June lives.
12:49I'm not cursed.
12:51Bro.
12:52June stopped walking.
12:54Am I bo-bye-yen?
12:56The air smelled.
12:58Like June's 8th birthday.
13:00Happy roach.
13:02Spaghetti.
13:04His mama letting him.
13:06Have an extra peach mango pie.
13:09Because his Lolo died that week.
13:12And the boy deserves sweet.
13:15The alley was between the waiting shed.
13:18And the Xerox place.
13:20They'd always been neighbors.
13:22Now they were giving each other space.
13:26My Nakti Tindah.
13:28Kiko said.
13:30His tongue was dry.
13:33Chopal.
13:34Trimo.
13:36Mossarep.
13:37The cart was there.
13:40One steamer.
13:41Just one.
13:43The vendor looked at both of them.
13:46And didn't look at both of them.
13:48Free taste.
13:50June grinned.
13:52He had a chipped tooth.
13:54From grade 6.
13:56Kiko could see it.
13:58He could count it.
14:00The vendor opened the lid.
14:03Two buns.
14:05June took one.
14:07Salamette Poe.
14:09He was always polite to vendors.
14:12Kiko took the other.
14:14His hand moved before his brain.
14:17Could file a complaint.
14:20June bit.
14:21His eyes went wide.
14:24His eyes went wide.
14:24Not scared.
14:26Remembering.
14:28Bro, I see my.
14:30He chewed.
14:32Swallowed.
14:33The wide eyes went soft.
14:36Ai.
14:38Ang Sarap.
14:39Parang.
14:40He frowned.
14:42Wait.
14:43Saan.
14:44The bell rang.
14:46The bell rang.
14:47One p.m.
14:48First afternoon class.
14:51Kids pushed past them.
14:54Yelling about ML and crushes.
14:57And Sarwala Pong assignment.
15:00June wasn't there.
15:02Not walked away.
15:04Not teleported.
15:06Not.
15:08Like someone edited him out with a bad app.
15:12And left the background messy.
15:15Kiko stood there holding air.
15:18That used to be his best friend.
15:21He ran to the faculty room.
15:24Sir.
15:24Sijun Santos.
15:26Kakla Seiko.
15:29Section Mabini.
15:31Connie Noleng.
15:33Sarais checked the class list.
15:36Printed.
15:37Laminated.
15:39Walateang June Santos.
15:42Kiko.
15:43Anangwala.
15:45Katabi Kosa Upuan.
15:48Sarais looked at the empty desk.
15:52That's always been empty.
15:54Kiko.
15:55You okay.
15:56You look ma put la.
15:59Kiko opened messenger.
16:01He typed June.
16:04The chat was there.
16:06Last message.
16:07Kiko bro.
16:09No reply.
16:11June's profile picture.
16:14Was the gray default head.
16:16No posts.
16:18No mutuals.
16:20He went to the Barangay.
16:23June Santos.
16:25Taga Canto Tres.
16:28Tanad Wala Anak.
16:30He went home and threw up.
16:33Nothing came out.
16:35His stomach was fine.
16:38His stomach was great.
16:40He didn't dream that night.
16:43He didn't have to.
16:45He was awake inside the dream now.
16:48Lives left.
16:50Six.
16:51Story four.
16:53The fourth steam.
16:54Life for anger.
16:56Kiko tried to starve the alley out.
17:00Day one.
17:01Water.
17:02His piss was clear.
17:04And his head was not.
17:06Day two.
17:08Black coffee.
17:09His hands shook.
17:10The itch started.
17:13The itch started.
17:14Not skin.
17:15Boned.
17:16Like something was using his ribs.
17:19As a keyboard.
17:21Day three.
17:22He licked salt.
17:24It tasted like the ocean.
17:26Explaining divorce.
17:28On night four.
17:30He hunted it.
17:31He found it behind the Simba hand.
17:33Where there was supposed to be a wall covered in lost dog posters.
17:40And no vina to scent.
17:43Jude tarps.
17:45The wall was there.
17:47It was also not there.
17:49It was soft.
17:51He pushed.
17:53It gave.
17:54Like dough left to rise.
17:57The alley was wider.
17:59It had to be.
18:01To hold his anger.
18:02The cart.
18:04Two steamers.
18:06The vendor.
18:08Ana Jinawa Bokaijoon.
18:11Kiko screamed.
18:13The sound came back wrong.
18:16Like the alley was a bad microphone.
18:20Ana Jinawa Bosaakin.
18:23I answered.
18:24The vendor said.
18:26He wasn't smug.
18:28He wasn't sorry.
18:30He was a fact.
18:31Balik Moshah.
18:34Balik Molahat.
18:36Kiko couldn't remember what lahat included.
18:41That made him angrier.
18:44His grief had amnesia.
18:46He grabbed a bun.
18:48To throw.
18:50To prove he could reject it.
18:53It pulsed.
18:55Once.
18:55The heat went up his arm.
18:58Into his shoulder.
19:00Into the angry part of his brain.
19:03And turned the dial down.
19:06Not off.
19:08Down.
19:09From ten to three.
19:12Manageable.
19:13Numb.
19:14He bit.
19:15June was in the field.
19:19Sitting cross-legged.
19:21Cold.
19:22Holding a kitten.
19:24That had Kiko's eyes.
19:26June looked up.
19:28And waved.
19:29Okay lang bro.
19:31He said.
19:33Walang.
19:33Gutam ditou.
19:35Walang quiz.
19:37Walang.
19:38Tita.
19:39Na.
19:39Sumiseigau.
19:41June.
19:42I'm sorry.
19:43Isapa.
19:44June said.
19:46He smiled.
19:47It was his real smile.
19:50The one with the chipped tooth.
19:53Masarap too.
19:55Kiko was back.
19:57On his knees.
19:59The alley was still there.
20:02That was new.
20:03It usually left after.
20:06He was crying.
20:08He didn't know for who.
20:10He tried to sing.
20:12His nanny's lullaby.
20:14The one she sang.
20:16When he had fever.
20:17He had the tune.
20:20The words were gone.
20:22Not forgotten.
20:24Removed.
20:26Like someone.
20:27Took the lyrics out of his head.
20:30And left the melody.
20:32To haunt an empty house.
20:35Lives left.
20:36Five.
20:37Story five.
20:38The fifth offering.
20:40Life for bargaining.
20:42The kitten was orange.
20:45Payette.
20:46Ribs like a xylophone.
20:49Kiko found it behind Happy Roach.
20:53Digging in a box.
20:55That used to have chicken vanguard.
20:58It didn't run when he reached for it.
21:01It looked up at him.
21:03With eyes that said.
21:04I know how this story goes.
21:08He named it Chopin.
21:10That was cruel.
21:11And he knew it.
21:13He brought it to the alley.
21:15The alley was behind his apartment now.
21:19Convenient.
21:21Like it was tired of commuting.
21:24Trade.
21:25Kiko said.
21:26He held Chopin out.
21:29But he said.
21:29Chopin didn't squirm.
21:31Take this.
21:33Give June back.
21:35Give my memory back.
21:37Give me back.
21:39The vendor took the kitten.
21:41His hands were the most real thing about him.
21:46Calloused.
21:46Careful.
21:48He held Chopin.
21:51Like you hold a thing that chose you.
21:53Chopin closed his eyes.
21:56Not asleep.
21:58Not scared.
22:00Ready.
22:01The vendor set him.
22:03In an empty steamer.
22:05The basket was big enough for a man.
22:09He closed the lid.
22:11No fire.
22:12No stove.
22:14No butane.
22:16Steam rose anyway.
22:19It smelled like rain on hot cement.
22:22And Lola's Sampigata.
22:25And the inside of a church.
22:27After a funeral.
22:29Life doesn't trade.
22:31The vendor said.
22:33It transfers.
22:35He opened another steamer.
22:38Kiko ate.
22:39He told his hands.
22:41Not to.
22:43His hands said.
22:45We don't work for you anymore.
22:47That night.
22:48He walked home.
22:50Three strays followed.
22:52One black.
22:53One calico.
22:55One white.
22:56With a black dot.
22:57Like a bindie.
22:58They stopped at his door.
23:01Sat.
23:02In a row.
23:04Bowed.
23:05Like he was a santo.
23:07Being paraded.
23:09He dreamed he was show pal.
23:12He was put.
23:13In the warm dark.
23:15He felt his bones get soft.
23:18His name get sweet.
23:20It didn't hurt.
23:22That was the problem.
23:24It should have.
23:26He woke up.
23:27And the strays were still there.
23:29They left one by one.
23:32When he opened the door.
23:34The last one.
23:35The white one.
23:37Looked back.
23:38Its eyes were June's.
23:41Lives left.
23:42Four.
23:43Story six.
23:44The sixth hunger.
23:46Life from memory.
23:48The forest had rules now.
23:51Stay on the path.
23:53The path is made of exhaled names.
23:56If you step off.
23:59You'll say someone else's name forever.
24:02The trees are listening.
24:05They're your external hard drive.
24:07They remember the things you traded.
24:11The steamer at the center.
24:13Is not cooking.
24:15It's deciding.
24:17Kiko walked it.
24:19Every night.
24:20He wasn't asleep.
24:22He wasn't awake.
24:24He was in transit.
24:25The creatures had titles now.
24:29Cat with six eyes.
24:32Mala pit na.
24:33It said.
24:35It was the timekeeper.
24:37Rabbit with human teeth.
24:40Remember to forget.
24:41It said.
24:43It was the editor.
24:45Child made of shadow holding a broken bowl.
24:49Isapa, it said.
24:51It was the waiter.
24:53The steamer at the center.
24:56Was a bah-hey kubo.
24:58If a bah-hey kubo was a lung.
25:01It breathed.
25:03The lid lifted when he got close.
25:06Like a dog who knows its name.
25:10Inside buns.
25:12Rows.
25:13Military straight.
25:15June left side.
25:17Third row.
25:19Chest up, down.
25:21Sleeping.
25:23Peaceful.
25:24The chipped tooth visible.
25:27Chopin front row.
25:29Purring.
25:30You could hear it through the dough.
25:32A woman who was his nanny at twenty-two.
25:36Before Kiko.
25:38Before the man who left.
25:41Before the world got tired.
25:44She was humming.
25:45The lullaby.
25:47Kiko almost had the words.
25:50Not until he remembers.
25:53They all whispered.
25:55The buns.
25:56The trees.
25:58The steam.
26:00What?
26:00Kiko asked.
26:03A bun near the back shifted.
26:06It had Lola's mole.
26:08What you asked for.
26:10He woke up.
26:12His arms were the color of rice.
26:15That's been washed.
26:17Five times.
26:18He pinched his skin.
26:21It dimpled.
26:23Stayed dimpled.
26:25Three seconds.
26:26Like mochi.
26:28Like show-pau dough.
26:30He scratched his forearm.
26:33Something moved under the skin.
26:36Away from his nail.
26:38A polite retreat.
26:40He didn't go to the alley that day.
26:43It came to his room.
26:45The cart was at the foot of his bed.
26:49On the tiles.
26:51Next to his laundry.
26:53The vendor's face.
26:55Was almost stable.
26:57It was almost Lola.
26:59The eyes were almost June.
27:02The mouth was almost his.
27:04Kiko didn't say anything.
27:08There was nothing to say.
27:10That wasn't already in the steam.
27:13He ate.
27:15Lives left.
27:16Three.
27:17Story seven.
27:18The seventh road.
27:20Life for denial.
27:22He ran.
27:24Bus to Pangasinan.
27:26Five hours.
27:28He didn't look out the window.
27:31He didn't want to see any allies.
27:33Making friends with buildings.
27:36He stayed with his cousin.
27:38Kuya Ben.
27:39You look like a tick balang's leftovers.
27:43Kuya Ben said.
27:45Eat.
27:46Kiko cooked his own food.
27:48He counted rice grains.
27:52One, two, three, four.
27:54He got to 1,847.
27:58And gave up.
28:00He was thin.
28:01Then he was thinner.
28:04Then he was a rumor of a person.
28:07His collarbones could cut air.
28:10Two months.
28:11No dreams.
28:13No cats.
28:15No smell.
28:16He thought he won.
28:19He was in a town.
28:21Called San Something.
28:23He forgot the rest.
28:25He was walking past Apalayan.
28:28At 6 p.m.
28:30The sky was the color of a bruise.
28:33That was done being a bruise.
28:36Between two mango trees.
28:39That had been there.
28:40Since the Spanish were confused.
28:42And sweating.
28:45A tricycle.
28:46Not a carotin.
28:48A tricycle.
28:50With a sidecar.
28:51On the sidecar.
28:53Bamboo steamers.
28:55Three of them.
28:57The vendor.
28:58Or a raincoat.
29:00Or feathers.
29:01Or nothing.
29:03The raincoat was raining.
29:06Even though the sky wasn't.
29:08You asked to be full.
29:10He said.
29:11Same voice.
29:13Same fact.
29:15I take it back.
29:17Kiko screamed.
29:19He was good at screaming now.
29:22Practice.
29:24Ayoko na.
29:25I don't want.
29:27The vendor opened a steamer.
29:30Kiko ate.
29:32He tried to run.
29:34His legs said.
29:36We work for the vendor now.
29:38He was a cat.
29:40Bainondo.
29:411945.
29:43February.
29:45The Americans were coming.
29:47The Japanese were not leaving.
29:51The world was fire.
29:53And noise.
29:54He was orange then.
29:57Ribs like now.
29:58He hid under a mooning.
30:00Bow cart.
30:02The wood smelled.
30:04Like a thousand lunches.
30:06A boy kicked him.
30:08Ali's.
30:10Demon Yao.
30:12He starved three days.
30:14On the fourth.
30:15A bomb hit wrong.
30:17A steamer fell.
30:19Cracked open.
30:21He crawled inside.
30:23It was warm.
30:25It was quiet.
30:27The bombs were outside.
30:30He slept.
30:31He didn't wake up as a cat.
30:34He woke up on the ground.
30:36And sent something.
30:38The tricycle was gone.
30:41The trees were trees.
30:43A carabao looked at him.
30:46With ancient judgment.
30:48He understood.
30:49He had been here before.
30:53He had been here before.
30:53Not Kiko.
30:54Before Kiko.
30:56He got on the next bus.
30:58To Manila.
31:00Lives left.
31:01Two.
31:02Story eight.
31:03The eighth lid.
31:05Life for surrender.
31:06The alley didn't pretend to be an alley anymore.
31:11It was a kitchen.
31:13No walls.
31:15No ceiling.
31:17No health permit.
31:18The floor was dough.
31:21It gave under his bare feet.
31:24Left footprints.
31:26That slowly rose back up.
31:28Like memory foam.
31:30The sky was steam.
31:33Not cloudy.
31:35Steam.
31:36The kind that comes out of your mouth.
31:39When you're alive.
31:40And cold.
31:42The great steamer.
31:44Was at the center.
31:45Not a pot.
31:47A building.
31:49Bamboo and brass.
31:51And breath.
31:52Big enough to hold a barangai.
31:55It wasn't on a stove.
31:57It was the stove.
32:00The heat came from underneath.
32:02From the earth.
32:04From somewhere deeper than geology.
32:07The vendor wasn't one.
32:10He was a crowd.
32:11Holding one shape.
32:13An old man in a cook's hat.
32:16Flower on his elbows.
32:19A child with a burn scar.
32:21In the shape of a cat's paw.
32:25A cat licking its paw.
32:27Then looking at Kiko.
32:29Like you're late.
32:31A woman with Kiko's eyes.
32:33And Lola's hands.
32:35They spoke in one voice.
32:38It harmonized with itself.
32:41Like a choir.
32:42That had been rehearsing.
32:44Since the first hunger.
32:47Hunger is older than right.
32:49They said.
32:50Kiko walked to the steamer.
32:53No one pushed him.
32:55No one had to.
32:57His feet were his.
33:00His feet were also not his.
33:03They were going home.
33:05Inside the buns.
33:07Hundreds.
33:09Maybe thousands.
33:11A census of the eaten.
33:14June left third row.
33:16Still chipped tooth.
33:19Still breathing.
33:21Chopin front.
33:23Still purring.
33:25The dough vibrated.
33:27Lola back.
33:29Humming the lullaby.
33:31Kiko almost had it.
33:34The words were in the steam.
33:36His ta-tai.
33:38He was there.
33:40Kiko hadn't seen him.
33:42Since he was six.
33:44He looked younger.
33:46Sorry.
33:47A bun that was him at seven.
33:50When he fell off a bike.
33:52And Lola put beta dine.
33:55And a kiss on it.
33:57A bun that was him at sixteen.
34:00When he first got drunk.
34:02And cried about his nanny.
34:05He reached for June.
34:07His hand passed through the bun.
34:10Like mist.
34:12Like permission.
34:13He looked at his arms.
34:16He could see the dough floor through them.
34:19He was a suggestion of a boy.
34:23The scratching was words now.
34:26From his marrow.
34:27From his marrow.
34:29It said.
34:31Become, become, become, become.
34:33He understood the math.
34:36You eat eight times.
34:38You're given eight lives.
34:41Not yours.
34:43Borrowed.
34:44From the steamer.
34:46From the last person.
34:48Who became.
34:49On the ninth.
34:51You pay it back.
34:52You become the meal.
34:54Then someone else.
34:56Gets eight.
34:57The steamer stays full.
34:59The world stays fed.
35:02The hunger doesn't win.
35:05It balances.
35:07Do I get to choose?
35:09He asked.
35:11His voice.
35:12Was already steaming.
35:14The vendors slash.
35:15All of them smiled.
35:16You chose eight times.
35:20Kiko laughed.
35:22It sounded like a bamboo lid.
35:25Lifting.
35:26After twenty minutes.
35:28Issa Pa.
35:29He said.
35:30Lives left.
35:32One.
35:33Story nine.
35:34The ninth steamer.
35:36Life for becoming.
35:38He didn't fight.
35:39Not because he was brave.
35:42Because he was done.
35:44Done being hungry.
35:47Done being guilty.
35:49Done being a question.
35:51The vendor's hands.
35:53Are gentle.
35:54Not the hands.
35:56Of a monster.
35:57The hands.
35:59Of a helote.
36:00Finding the peli.
36:01In your soul.
36:03The hands.
36:04Of a mother.
36:05Folding a baby.
36:07Into a blanket.
36:07The hands.
36:09Of a gravedigger.
36:10Who's sorry.
36:12But still.
36:13Has a job.
36:14They laid him down.
36:16In a steamer.
36:17The basket.
36:19Was lined.
36:20With banana leaf.
36:22It smelled.
36:23Like fiesta.
36:23It smelled.
36:25Like funeral.
36:27It smelled.
36:28Like every April 12th.
36:30Of his life.
36:31The dough came.
36:33It wasn't poured.
36:35It arrived.
36:37From the air.
36:39From the steam.
36:41From the other buns.
36:43Maybe.
36:44It was warm.
36:46Not hot.
36:48Known.
36:48It learned the shape of him.
36:51It didn't force him.
36:54It agreed with him.
36:56The hollows in his chest.
36:58Became curves.
37:00The sharp parts of his grief.
37:02Became soft.
37:04The heat wasn't fire.
37:06It was attention.
37:09Complete.
37:10Unbearable.
37:11Loving attention.
37:12The kind you get for three seconds.
37:15When someone really sees you.
37:18This was for forever.
37:21You were never only meant to eat.
37:23The vendor whispered.
37:26One voice.
37:27Lola's voice.
37:29Not sad Lola.
37:31End of no vina Lola.
37:34When the prayers are done.
37:36And the pantset is on the table.
37:39Kiko's last thought wasn't June.
37:42Wasn't show pal.
37:44Wasn't the cat he was.
37:46In 1945.
37:49It was.
37:50So this is what full feels like.
37:53Not heavy.
37:55Not stuffed.
37:57Just complete.
37:59Like the last note of a song.
38:02The lid closed.
38:04It didn't lock.
38:06It didn't need to.
38:09Epilogue.
38:09The tenth hunger.
38:11The market opened.
38:13Fishball vendors.
38:15Monong.
38:16Tat low.
38:18Sao sao wan.
38:21Trikes tan surya.
38:23Tundo divi surya.
38:26Tita with a bayang.
38:28Dio's ko.
38:30Ang ma hel nong si bu yaas.
38:32The world was loud.
38:34Alive.
38:36Forgetful.
38:38No alley.
38:40No cart.
38:41No vendor.
38:43A cat sat by the gutter.
38:46Orange.
38:47White cowlick on its chest.
38:50It was cleaning its face.
38:53Methodical.
38:54Like it had all the time in the world.
38:58Which it did.
38:59A boy in a public school uniform.
39:02A boy in a public school uniform.
39:02Stopped walking.
39:04Grade seven.
39:06Maybe.
39:07Bag bigger than him.
39:09He frowned.
39:11Tilted his head.
39:12Like he was listening to a radio.
39:14Only he could hear.
39:17What's that smell?
39:19He said to no one.
39:22Parang.
39:23Parang pansit.
39:24Nong nong ai ko.
39:25Pai ro patai na sha last year.
39:29The cat stood.
39:32Stretched.
39:33Front paws.
39:35Back paws.
39:36Tail like a question mark.
39:38It walked toward the space.
39:41Between the bakery.
39:42And the lotto outlet.
39:44The space wasn't there.
39:47Then it was.
39:49A wooden cart.
39:50Resolved out of heat.
39:52And grief.
39:54Three steamers.
39:56Steam like a secret someone's.
39:58Been keeping.
39:59Since the first person got hungry.
40:02The vendor was already there.
40:05His face was new.
40:07It was also all the old faces.
40:11It didn't matter.
40:13Faces are for people.
40:15Who are still deciding.
40:17The boy stepped into the alley.
40:20His shoes made no sound.
40:23Isa, he said.
40:25And somewhere beyond memory.
40:28Beyond Barangay records.
40:31Beyond the places Lola.
40:33Told you not to go.
40:36A bamboo lid lifted.
40:38Not to cook.
40:40But to continue.
40:41Lives left.
40:44Nine.
41:08Life's left.
41:10Nine.
41:11Bumater na pang showtime
41:13Gah!
Comments