- 14 hours ago
The Valley S03E03 (2026)
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00:00Previously on The Valley.
00:02Let's talk about a vasectomy.
00:03Oh boy!
00:04You're like a child.
00:06That's a penis!
00:07Where do you think the vasectomy happens?
00:09Hi honey.
00:10I miss ya.
00:11Miss you too.
00:12Is he your boyfriend officially?
00:13No, he's on.
00:14All I need is a divorce and I'm done.
00:16So ask him to sign.
00:17I'm Kim Divorce.
00:18I made it very easy for him.
00:20I walk away with nothing, so.
00:23If there's anything you want to get off your chest, I'm happy to listen.
00:26And, well, talk to you soon.
00:30Okay.
00:31There's no conversation unless they apologize.
00:34I don't want to be friends with her.
00:38I'm alright.
00:57Let me be the best you ever, good times.
01:00Hey, cutie.
01:03Are you going to go upstairs?
01:05So, we have a lot going on today.
01:08The electrician is coming.
01:09The backsplash is done.
01:11The party is tomorrow.
01:13I can't believe the party is tomorrow.
01:14Because I have no idea what's going on.
01:16Let me be the best you ever, good times.
01:20Show me invitations.
01:22Okay, so, the save the dates that I ordered.
01:24Yay!
01:25They're really simple.
01:26Oh, I love that one.
01:27Yeah, I'm like, thank you a lot.
01:28So, everything's, like, moving forward smoothly.
01:30Getting there.
01:42I'm stoked for you.
01:43I can't believe it's been 10 years.
01:45I can't believe it's been 10 years since she had her boobs done.
01:47Oh, no.
01:47That's wild.
01:48Because I, like, remember the day you got them done.
01:51Yeah.
01:51I have been thinking about getting a mommy makeover for years now, which is getting a tummy tuck,
01:57getting lipo, and reducing these huge old boobies.
02:02Upgrade, getting them out, last little piece of Jax.
02:06Yeah.
02:06To-do-do.
02:07Upgrade, upgrade, my life.
02:09I can bring you back if you're ready.
02:11Okay.
02:14Actually, you're getting by the child's.
02:15I guess we can switch whenever.
02:17Hello.
02:18Well, hello, hello.
02:20Found him.
02:21Welcome back.
02:21Hi, guys.
02:22Hello.
02:24The new mama.
02:25I love it.
02:26Hi.
02:26How you doing, sweetie pie?
02:28Good.
02:28How are you?
02:28So good to see you.
02:29You too.
02:29Good to be back here, huh?
02:3110 years later.
02:32Is it really?
02:33Yeah.
02:34It's been 10 years.
02:34We talked about maybe a mommy makeover.
02:37No, definitely a mommy makeover.
02:38Breasts, you think we need to lift them as well?
02:40Yes.
02:41I haven't really seen your breasts in a while, so we're going to have to do that.
02:43You can look.
02:45All right.
02:46So let's take a quick feel.
02:48Okay.
02:48Okay.
02:49So implants are in there, but now what's happened is they've kind of fallen.
02:52So what we need to do is we need to lift your breasts.
02:54Yes.
02:54I moved all the way from Kentucky to LA, and within three months, I got a boob job.
02:58Everybody's always like, Jax, why'd you get a bigger size?
03:00He did, like, encourage me to go bigger than I wanted,
03:03but I loved the way my boobs looked back then.
03:05I loved whenever I first got them done.
03:07It was after I gave birth.
03:09Then they got so huge, you know, that I did not like them anymore.
03:14I just thought about the, like, sitting up and hub up.
03:18Don't worry.
03:19You're next.
03:19I know.
03:20I understand what Brittany is going through.
03:24Postpartum is, like, really a mind .
03:26I stare at my closet with a robe on and cry.
03:30Like, my boobs are down here.
03:32My waist is out here.
03:34I'm a little bit angry with myself for not bouncing back faster.
03:40It's just really difficult to deal with.
03:43In all reality, the first two weeks, you're going to feel pretty beat up from the liposuction.
03:47You will look fantastic.
03:49Oh, I'm excited.
03:50I'm so emotional for you.
03:52I know.
03:52I'll cry my eyes out afterwards.
03:54So what I'm going to do is I'm going to step out.
03:56I'm going to get the face king, Dr. Lakey, to come give you a little bit of Botox.
03:59Okay, I'll be back in a sec, guys.
04:00Okay.
04:01We'll switch so you can get your Botox.
04:04This mommy makeover is going to mean a lot to me on many levels.
04:09I brought the face master.
04:10To realize Kendall.
04:11I was talked down to and disrespected for the way my body looked after having my beautiful
04:17son.
04:17This is going to be amazing for my confidence.
04:20Dr. Lakey and Dr. Daniel Poore did my first boob job.
04:23They did all of Jax's nose jobs.
04:25I trust them more than anybody.
04:28Okay.
04:28Great to see you both.
04:29Okay.
04:29Love you, bye.
04:31We got to be hot mamas.
04:32Yep.
04:32We already are.
04:34I am excited for girls.
04:36Did you try her outfits on?
04:37Or did you just order a bunch of stuff and not try it on for usual?
04:40Well, the dress I already owned.
04:42But I really wanted to do like the fuzzy pink hat and like the butterfly clips.
04:46I have not been out to a bar since before I got pregnant with Kaya.
04:50So I'm really excited for girls night.
04:52And it is Y2K themed because we're going to go to my friend Katie's bar called Zero Lounge,
04:57which is a Y2K themed bar.
05:00You know, Brandon, he'll be here once I get back from your girls night.
05:03He'll be at my house.
05:04Yeah.
05:05While Brandon's here, we're going to go to dinner tomorrow night.
05:07A little date night.
05:08Yeah.
05:08A little date night.
05:22Hello.
05:23Hi.
05:23Hi.
05:24I'd like to do guitar cherry spritzer.
05:26I'll cut that right off for you.
05:29What's going on, man?
05:29What's up, dude?
05:30Sorry, I'm late.
05:31How are you doing?
05:31Are you working?
05:32Straight from court.
05:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:33I got caught.
05:34I thought it was going to be like a 20 minute thing.
05:35It was like a 30 minute thing.
05:37So.
05:38You already ordered?
05:39Yeah, I grabbed the spritzer thing.
05:41Foged it.
05:42I had too much coffee today.
05:43I'm glad you texted me.
05:45Yeah?
05:45It's been a while.
05:46I know.
05:47I wasn't really sure what to expect, you know.
05:49I was hoping this could be a conversation
05:50that we could use to maybe, you know,
05:52move forward with some things.
05:53I want to check in with you.
05:55I wanted to know if you guys had any communication
05:56with Danny and me.
05:57Oh, no.
05:58I wanted to know where your head's at.
06:00I mean, I know exactly where Danny's head's at,
06:01and I know what I witnessed.
06:03You called Danny a clown and a douche.
06:05You are a clown, dude.
06:07You're a total clown.
06:07Are you kidding me?
06:08I was in a position where I felt as though my wife's character was being attacked and she was being
06:13scapegoated.
06:14That really upset me.
06:15I don't understand the scapegoating thing. She was not there to witness what happened.
06:18She was not an involved party in the incident between Danny and Jasmine.
06:23My wife is not a liar. Dude, you got drunk and did idiotic things.
06:27You know, I saw his actions last year and I didn't like his actions last year.
06:30Did I go too hard in calling him names?
06:33You know, I'm a 40-year-old man. I shouldn't be calling another 40-year-old man names.
06:36I should be handling myself differently.
06:37That's what I'll apologize for.
06:39But it's more about the way that he's handled himself ever since.
06:42The way that he's pointed fingers at my wife.
06:45That's my issue with Danny.
06:46There was an attack and you guys participated in it on Danny's character.
06:50I mean, like what is the point of this talk exactly?
06:52To talk about my relationship with Danny or to talk about us or what?
06:55I'm trying to come to you like, I believe that there are some steps that need taken
06:59to prevent it from becoming too far gone to where it's beyond irreparable.
07:03Like beyond like being able to build it back.
07:06I don't like the way he and Janet treated Danny and Nia last year, but I feel like if someone
07:13can get through to both sides, it's me.
07:15I don't think that I was perfect in the situation.
07:18There are certain triggers that I have that I didn't even realize, my wife being one of
07:22them.
07:22And I wish that I held my emotions a little bit tighter.
07:25If he wanted to talk and he's open to a conversation, then I would be open to it as well.
07:30But I'm not going to take ownership of all the things that you guys want me to, because
07:33I think that we just don't agree on certain things.
07:36I can see a friendship rekindling with Danny and Nia.
07:38However, that would entail things on their part to happen.
07:42I'm someone who's not a fan of people who do something terrible, apologize for it, but
07:47make absolutely zero life changes.
07:49Because then it's like, you're going to do it again.
07:51You know, I just, it is what it is.
07:56Right on.
08:12We're not going to disappoint.
08:13We're going to be hot while she cares.
08:21Nia, when's the last time you went out?
08:23Girl, I don't even know.
08:23You've been baby, baby, baby, baby for four or five years, literally.
08:28I don't even know the last time I went out, out.
08:30You guys have to have fun tonight.
08:32Yeah.
08:33Mom's night out.
08:34Yes.
08:34It's going to be so good.
08:35Hello.
08:37Hey, girl.
08:38Girl's night.
08:39Oh, my gosh.
08:40Oh, my gosh.
08:40Hi.
08:41We're going to be matchy-matchy.
08:42I need help with the butterflies.
08:44The butterfly clips.
08:45We got you.
08:46Hi.
08:46Hi.
08:47I'm glad I get a night out with the girls, but I'm exclusively breastfeeding, and she goes
08:52everywhere I go.
08:54For tonight, I got a party bus, so once we all get off the party bus, my mom and the
08:59baby can be in the party bus.
09:00Baby can sleep.
09:01But if she needs me, if she needs the boob, I'm close by, and I can feed her.
09:05Before we all had kids, I used to love going out, and now I'm just so tired.
09:12I would have to bring all my friends out to the club.
09:14I would be wearing sandals, a little romper, hair in a ponytail, and just like go out to
09:17the club and live my best life with zero effort.
09:20And now it's like, let's do all of the things, and you want to go out.
09:24It's fun, though.
09:25It's okay.
09:28Oh, my baby.
09:30Yeah, I know.
09:33Just to me for a minute.
09:35Hi, sis.
09:41I unloaded this bottle washer, four bottles next to it.
09:45Okay.
09:45You did the diapers already.
09:47Pajamas are ready to go.
09:49It'll be fine.
09:49I'm not nervous about leaving Kaya with Luke.
09:52I just really like to be with my kid.
09:56It'll be the first time you've done Girls Night.
09:57That'll be fun.
09:59I don't know.
10:00The thought of going to a bar freaks me the out.
10:03I'm not quite ready for like a babysitter, no matter who it is.
10:05I want you here with her.
10:08Like, I feel like I'm going to miss like her first laugh or something.
10:11And then have mom guilt and regret.
10:14Yeah, I'm on the party bus.
10:16Okay.
10:16How are you?
10:17I was talking to Luke and Kaya.
10:19No, ma'am.
10:22They exist later.
10:24Let's party.
10:25Oh, my God.
10:25I almost forgot my engagement ring.
10:27Okay.
10:28See you in a minute.
10:28Bye.
10:30She hung up.
10:31She's not coming.
10:32Oh, my God.
10:32I look like a Y2K prostitute.
10:37You're cutting into Kristen's bar time.
10:39Come on.
10:39Let's go.
10:40Don't let her come back sober.
10:41No.
10:42Duh.
10:42That's my job.
10:42Okay.
10:43I'm ready.
10:43All right.
10:44Mom's already out there.
10:45Okay.
10:46My hat.
10:47Okay.
10:48I'm so excited.
10:49I feel like we're in middle school.
11:19Oh, my gosh.
11:19We got it.
11:21Yeah, we're here.
11:23Let's do it.
11:25All right.
11:25Let's dance.
11:26So cute.
11:28Oh, is anybody here?
11:32It's like, what's going on?
11:33It's 8 o'clock at night.
11:37There is not a single soul in this building.
11:40Is it open yet?
11:41Oh, I don't know.
11:42For me, this empty bar is perfection.
11:45No line out the door.
11:46No waiting for a drink.
11:48This is exactly what I wanted for my girls' night out.
11:50We're on Hollywood Boulevard on a Wednesday.
11:54Coming up.
11:55What I said in that conversation with you wasn't like,
11:57oh, I can see the thinking of that.
12:00Okay, can you calm down?
12:00I apologize.
12:00Okay, can you calm down?
12:01Do not talk to me like that.
12:02I'm not your title.
12:03I just don't like that.
12:07I just don't like that.
12:18I don't like it.
12:20Yeah.
12:21Thank you.
12:21¡Apá, apá!
12:37¡Yeah!
12:40¿Cómo did Britney end up with a pink, fuzzy hat as well?
12:44¿Y ahora estoy, como, twinning a 35?
12:47¡I no love that!
12:48¡Cheers to snakes and condoms!
12:50No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:20I love her, but honestly, like, outside of all this in the group, she would not be hanging out with
13:24me.
13:24I'm gonna go to her fast.
13:25I know.
13:26I'm gonna get a drink.
13:28I'm very surprised that Jasmine said that about Lala.
13:31I think Lala's way more genuine than Jessie ever will be.
13:35Can I get one more skinny?
13:37I loved it.
13:38It was so good.
13:39A full tahini rip, because I lick it all.
13:41Thank you.
13:46You ever hang out with Jasmine?
13:48We went to dinner the other night.
13:50For 10 years, we've known each other.
13:52I know.
13:52And now we're, like, grown, getting married.
13:55Real life.
13:55Real lesbian.
13:57It was, like, very nice.
13:58Yeah.
13:59It was very cute.
14:01Well, I was talking, like, a little s*** about Jessie, and I was basically to Jasmine, and I was basically,
14:07like, you know, I feel like if this wasn't happening, things would be very different.
14:12And then she's like, no, I feel like certain people are like that.
14:16Like, maybe Lala's like that.
14:18Like, I don't.
14:19That's the card, man.
14:21Yeah.
14:22I don't know where Jasmine is pulling this from.
14:26I have been authentic and real since the time I entered the f***ing world.
14:32Hey.
14:34I'm not trying to start drama.
14:35Well, that hurts.
14:36But, like, that, I don't like that.
14:38Are you trying to speak?
14:39Yeah.
14:40Babe, what's going on?
14:41Hey, babe.
14:42Michelle said that I...
14:44Oh, my God.
14:45I'm not trying to start drama.
14:46No, I was talking about Jessie and how I was saying, like, he can be a showman and whatever, and
14:53you're like, I feel like some people can be like that, too.
14:57Yeah.
14:58Well, I haven't...
14:59And then you mentioned my name.
15:00I did not say that.
15:01Yes, you did.
15:02No, I did not.
15:03What I said in that conversation with you wasn't like, oh, I can say the same thing that, Zala.
15:07I apologize.
15:08Okay, can you calm down?
15:09Do not talk to me like that.
15:10I'm saying I'm trying to be nice to me.
15:12Yeah, but don't speak to me like that.
15:13I'm not your child.
15:14You're not going to speak to me like, calm down.
15:16I'm not a child.
15:16Well, you're getting really upset.
15:18Well, I don't care.
15:19I can be upset.
15:19I'm an emotional person.
15:20That's what I do.
15:21I know that.
15:22What are you doing right now?
15:23Like, you're stirring the pot.
15:24You started it, Michelle, and I got to calm down.
15:26And now that I'm upset, it's a problem.
15:29She needs to check herself, because I am not the one.
15:31Correct.
15:32Honestly, to be real about all this, I was like, I don't think me and Lala, we'd be friends
15:36are hanging out.
15:36I take offense to that, because we had a wonderful time, and I have a very, very hard time connecting
15:45with people, opening up to people.
15:47I am very guarded.
15:49It takes a while for me to leave my bubble.
15:51I don't trust people.
15:53Anytime I've opened up to somebody, I go home, and I beat myself up, because I feel like
15:59I've given them a piece of me that they didn't deserve.
16:02Okay.
16:02We're good?
16:03Okay.
16:03We're fine.
16:04So to hear that Jasmine is just throwing my name out there, it makes me pump the brakes
16:08and go, damn.
16:10I should have known.
16:12All is good.
16:13Okay.
16:14Oh, my God.
16:14Jesus Christ.
16:16Are you guys good?
16:18Yeah, we're good.
16:18We're good.
16:19We're good.
16:19You're good.
16:20I just don't like that s***.
16:22No, you do not.
16:23Me do not.
16:26Jasmine, come here.
16:27Which one did you get?
16:28So, um, if you want to go check on the baby, okay.
16:32My body's telling me to check on the baby.
16:34Okay, I'll be right back.
16:36Okay, I love you guys.
16:47Oh!
16:52Come on, Michelle!
16:54How do you feel?
16:54Doppel!
16:56Hi.
16:57Hey.
16:58I brought you your mocktail.
17:00Oh, thank you.
17:01She just finished nursing.
17:02My body said time to feed baby.
17:04Yeah.
17:05The letdown was happening.
17:06I'm praying that in the next two to three weeks, I can get her in a bottle so I can
17:11not
17:12have to put my baby on a party bus.
17:13You tried breast milk in a bottle and you don't do it?
17:14I tried it three times, haven't worked, you're not going to start trying new bottles.
17:18Adelaide is three months old.
17:20She has still not taken a bottle.
17:23I am her only source of, like, food.
17:25My whole body is dedicated to her.
17:27It's just so overwhelming sometimes.
17:29And, like, I know I signed up for it and I love it and I'm grateful.
17:32And my kids are like, my world, it's just, um, it's a lot.
17:39I just can't get another baby.
17:41Hi.
17:42Hi, Addy.
17:43Real question.
17:45Do you think you and Luke are going to have fun tonight?
17:48No.
17:49Body to brain is not there.
17:51I'm not in that headspace.
17:53That headspace is different right now.
17:54Yeah.
17:55That's all.
17:55I feel bad for Luke, but my libido is just non-existent.
17:59It definitely affects our relationship.
18:01I am grateful that he always says, like, he's never going to stop trying because he feels
18:07like if he stops trying, it's never going to happen.
18:09So it is nice to still feel wanted even though I don't feel that way about myself.
18:17Wait, okay, so both of you guys are going to meet Brandon at Nia's health room party.
18:23Are you inside?
18:25I know, but, like, I'm asking.
18:28I can ask.
18:29But listen, once you meet him, you're like, honestly, I hope so.
18:35This night's been a lot of fun, but Brandon is going to be waiting for me at home and I'm
18:39ready to get it on and I am out.
18:43Y2K.
18:46Party buses leave them.
18:49We're in Hollywood this whole time.
18:53I had no clue.
18:56I thought we were in the valley.
18:59I'm more drunk than this bitch.
19:01Really?
19:13Yeah, you want to go to a girl's night?
19:23My mama went out last night.
19:26It was weird.
19:27Well, next time I get a guy's night.
19:29How's that for a stack?
19:30You're like, come home drunk.
19:33Let's have sex.
19:35Sleeping on the couch.
19:38I thought you were going to come home a little drunk.
19:40I was hoping you would.
19:41You feel fine this morning?
19:43Yeah.
19:44Yeah?
19:45You can't be hungover and have a baby.
19:47I mean, you can.
19:50I can't be.
19:52Girls' night was perfect.
19:55And waking up, I'm not hungover.
19:58I'm well-rested.
20:00Didn't have to have sex.
20:02And Luke's bringing me breakfast in bed.
20:04I will schedule my next girls' night immediately.
20:09Oh, my God.
20:12I'm dying.
20:13Were you with Abby?
20:16No, we went to all the gay bars, like, next to the Abby.
20:20I've never been to all those places.
20:21No?
20:22And I stayed out till, like, 2.30 in the morning.
20:25I'm kind of jealous.
20:26I'm so hungover, I just went to In-N-Out.
20:31And I have to show a house in an hour, so I'm like, oh, great.
20:33Oh, you look fantastic.
20:35Thank you.
20:36I don't feel it, but.
20:37Okay, I know you gotta go.
20:38I love you.
20:39I'll talk to you soon.
20:40All right.
20:40Bye.
20:41Okay, bye.
20:42Bye.
20:45Oh!
20:46Oh!
20:46Here we go again.
20:49Reality's relative.
20:52Unofficial intelligence versus real-life ignorance.
20:56There we are.
20:57There we go again.
20:59Hi!
20:59My girl is my only friend.
21:02Hi, thank you, Brittany.
21:04Thank you.
21:04Yeah.
21:05Nice to see you.
21:06For you.
21:07All right.
21:07I've never been in this room, I don't think.
21:09All the times that I've come here.
21:13Thank you.
21:14My pleasure.
21:14Here's some money for you.
21:15I met Brandon in Kentucky.
21:17We started off as really close friends.
21:19I loved his personality.
21:21He is just such a good, genuine person.
21:23But the timing just wasn't right.
21:25Do we want to get some drinks started?
21:26I want the one from Paso.
21:27That's where I'm from.
21:28Um, can I drive an Arnold Palmer?
21:30Thank you.
21:30I'll be right back.
21:30He lives like three hours away.
21:32He lives in Paso Robles or Paso Robles or what do you call it?
21:38Paso Robles?
21:39Whatever it's called.
21:41I definitely want to get the caviar.
21:43The caviar.
21:44And can I do extra creme fraiche?
21:45Absolutely.
21:46Yeah.
21:47Pretzel bread.
21:48Yep.
21:49Pretzel bread.
21:49Pretzel bread.
21:50And then can we do the, um, 12-ounce filet medium, medium, medium?
21:55Yeah.
21:56And can we, uh, cut it?
21:57Because we'll just share.
21:58Oh, absolutely.
21:59All right.
21:59I think that's plenty.
22:00Perfect.
22:01I'll get these out of your way.
22:02Thank you.
22:02You're very welcome.
22:03You look pretty tonight.
22:04Thanks.
22:05I like those earrings.
22:07You do?
22:07Yeah, me too.
22:08The very first time I came here was I separated from Jax on January 24th, and I came here for
22:15my birthday the very next day.
22:16I'm pretty sure my separation was January 27th.
22:20Nuh-uh.
22:20Of this year, though.
22:22Really?
22:22Mine was almost two years ago.
22:24Yeah.
22:25I just hope your ex doesn't think like I have anything to do with it.
22:29No, I mean...
22:31Because you guys were already separated far before.
22:34She just makes things difficult.
22:36I'm going through my separation, my divorce.
22:38And he's going through a separation as well.
22:40I'm sure there's jealousy there with the exes and different things like that.
22:44So we got a lot of things that we're going to have to work through.
22:47Yay!
22:49It's so pretty!
22:51Oh, wow.
22:52Did we ever go on a date in Kentucky?
22:55Probably just Hooters.
22:57I can't believe I met you when I was a Hooters girl.
23:01And look at you now.
23:02Ooh!
23:05Yes!
23:07I do really want you to charm the hell out of Zach tomorrow.
23:11I'm going to love Zach.
23:12I think I will.
23:13Zach's going to love me.
23:14We're probably going to be best friends.
23:16Yeah.
23:16And he's going to be like,
23:17I can't believe that I thought you were going to be a red flag.
23:21I know that Zach means will.
23:24He's seen me hurt so bad.
23:25And he doesn't want me to look over red flags or fall in love too quickly.
23:30He's trying to protect me.
23:31I am a little worried.
23:33Like, I know I haven't met Brandon yet.
23:35But like, there are red flags that what I see right now is that it's moving so fast.
23:41I feel like it's almost him pushing for a third baby mama.
23:45Woo-hoo!
23:46Yeah!
23:47I don't think I'm oblivious to red flags.
23:49Like, my pearls aren't up.
23:51Like, if a red flag's right there, I'm like, red flag.
23:54But if a red flag's over there, I'm like, I don't see it.
23:58Don't try to blow it.
24:01I figured we would do something special.
24:04What?
24:07I just want to ask you if you would be my girlfriend.
24:11And I want to do something sweet.
24:15So that was it.
24:18Are you sure we're not moving too fast?
24:21I think we're in a good space.
24:23I think it would be very appropriate if we were exclusively dating.
24:28And I could call you my girlfriend.
24:30Aww.
24:32I think we're on the same page.
24:34Uh-huh.
24:36Let's do it.
24:38Let's do it.
24:40You are so cute.
24:42Well, Zach's really going to have some things to say tomorrow.
24:48Now just don't up.
24:52Coming up.
24:53We can have a conversation and get to know each other.
24:55And, you know, I have Brittany's best interests in mind.
24:57I did ask her out last night.
24:59So she has my girlfriend now.
25:18Come on, girls.
25:18Let's go.
25:19You got a man to help you take care of all these kids?
25:24You're hilarious.
25:25You see my mountain?
25:26I'm very excited about this housewarming party.
25:29I've never been more happy in my life.
25:32The house we got, a five-bedroom with a yard and a pool, having the space.
25:39It's just so clean.
25:41It's so beautiful.
25:42It doesn't even feel real.
25:44I just want to make sure that nothing's blocking my mountain up there.
25:47Right.
25:48As long as we can all see the mountains.
25:50Come on inside.
25:51We got to talk about everything.
25:51The theme of our housewarming party is a new frontier, because we live in the middle of nowhere.
25:59A new frontier.
26:00I ordered all the food.
26:02It's all coming.
26:03Barbecue, tri-tip, ribs.
26:05I ordered about 70 pounds of meat.
26:10Ay, ay, ay.
26:12And where are we going to put the food?
26:14I can't.
26:15I'm struggling talking to you right now.
26:16Why?
26:17Because I feel like I can't have a serious conversation with you.
26:22I can't.
26:23I can't.
26:23Honey, I want to actually have a conversation with you.
26:26I'm trying.
26:26Just a normal conversation.
26:28You're just so pretty.
26:29Oh, my gosh.
26:30You have teeth whitening strips on me.
26:31What are you talking about?
26:33Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
26:35Take him off.
26:36Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, ah!
26:45You don't ever touch a cowboy and whiten the strip.
26:48It's just.
26:55Let's do it.
26:56You're going to meet everybody.
26:59Hello?
27:00Hey!
27:01Hey!
27:04Brent?
27:04Let me see you.
27:05Did someone pee pee?
27:06Dolly Jean.
27:08Dolly Bean?
27:10Jean.
27:10Oh, Jean.
27:12I'll get it.
27:13Hi.
27:14Hi.
27:15Hi.
27:16Thank you.
27:17So do you.
27:18Thank you.
27:19This is Brandon.
27:20Hi, Brandon.
27:21Hi.
27:22Nice to meet you.
27:23Nice to meet you.
27:24Nice to meet you.
27:26We're supposed to be there in five minutes.
27:27What's the PTA say?
27:2959 minutes.
27:30No.
27:33It's a road trip.
27:36What the you brought stuff?
27:38I went ham.
27:39You went ham.
27:40I love it.
27:40Wait, you have a neck pillow on?
27:42What the heck is that?
27:43In L.A., we're a little melodramatic.
27:46We're kind of divas about traffic, but Santa Clarita is a whole nother realm.
27:51Hi.
27:52Hello.
27:53How are you?
27:53We're ready for a two-hour drive.
27:55This is a road trip.
27:57No, this isn't just a road trip.
27:58This is like a journey.
27:59This is a trek.
28:01This is a pilgrimage.
28:05Schwartz, why did you bring a pumpkin?
28:07It's not even off.
28:08What?
28:09It starts September 1st.
28:09Michelle, you remember Brandon.
28:10Everybody knows that.
28:12I took dysentery pills.
28:14I also have a water purifier, so no dysentery, because I always died of that on organ trails.
28:19I'm so excited Brandon's coming to bed.
28:20I want to meet Brandon.
28:21I want, and if he's, if you guys like him, that's great.
28:24I'm probably going to love him.
28:26That's not the issue.
28:28The issue is, when Brittany gets into a relationship, she doesn't then handle any other things because
28:33she's happy in a relationship, but she's not dealing with the other things in her life.
28:37So I'm just trying to be like, hey, I want to make sure you stay on track.
28:41I agree with that.
28:43I heard that Jasmine kind of like flip-flops a little.
28:48A little?
28:49What do you mean?
28:51Okay.
28:51So I'm going to tell you.
28:52I've heard that she'll like be cool to your face and then say things behind your back and
28:58then will like pretend to not remember these things.
29:01I kind of noticed that.
29:03And that's why I said something to you.
29:04Okay.
29:05So at the Y2K party, Michelle tells me that, what did she say?
29:11Michelle?
29:11Well, I don't know if she's genuine or not, but then she said she didn't say that.
29:16Jasmine seems very, very nice.
29:18And she's always like very upbeat and happy when she's around me.
29:21Maybe she came off the wrong way.
29:23Brandon just got here and he's already like picking sides.
29:30Well, she put it on me.
29:31Which isn't fair.
29:32You got to own up to your own stuff.
29:34But every time I've been around her, she's very happy and genuine.
29:40I could be halfway to Palm Springs right now.
29:44How many freeways did we take to get here?
29:46At least three.
29:47Are we in LA still?
29:49Are we in Ventura County?
29:50I think we are.
29:52Shut up.
29:53I'm not sure.
29:54Oh, we are far, y'all.
29:57They have Uber Helicopter from Santa Clarita back to LA.
30:00Are you joking?
30:01No.
30:02Ooh, coming up.
30:04Lala was kind of like taken aback.
30:06Michelle's trying to say like I'm fake or something.
30:07Michelle is not good at understanding how you talk about something.
30:10I know nothing.
30:11I'm on a healing journey with her, so I have to please don't.
30:20At least it's cooler.
30:21Let's go see who's here.
30:24Hi.
30:25Ooh, you are very Cowboy Carter.
30:28Hello.
30:28I love this.
30:30Yee-hoo.
30:31Yes.
30:31Best dress.
30:32Come on now.
30:33Where's his boot?
30:34Howdy.
30:34How you doing?
30:35Girl.
30:36Fantastic.
30:37Well, this is so cute.
30:39Oh, look.
30:39They have a great view.
30:41Hey, this is sick.
30:43Whoa.
30:43It's so beautiful.
30:44Welcome.
30:45Welcome.
30:45What's up, man?
30:46Hi.
30:47What is this?
30:47We've got all kinds of presents.
30:48Hello.
30:49Oh, my gosh.
30:50Is this the man?
30:51This is Brandon.
30:52Hi.
30:53Nice to meet you.
30:54Welcome.
30:54Howdy.
30:56Yee-hoo.
30:57Cowley.
30:58Oh, my God.
30:58We're finally here.
30:59This is crazy.
31:01This was the longest trek.
31:02This wasn't just the Oregon Trail.
31:04This was like the World Trail.
31:05The Santa Clarita Trail.
31:06Ugh.
31:07I honestly don't even think they can get Amazon, like, two-day deliveries out in Santa
31:11Clarita.
31:12Honestly, even if it was a 14-bedroom mansion with manservants, a pool, and a gay club, I
31:18still wouldn't live there.
31:19No one goes there.
31:21Like, you go there to die, maybe.
31:23I got a cattle.
31:24I forget what a character you are sometimes.
31:26I got a cattle up there.
31:27Hi.
31:27How are you?
31:27Good to see you.
31:28Good to see you.
31:30How are you feeling without Kaia?
31:32I'm okay now.
31:33But she literally, right before we left, she spit up all over Tori, all over the couch,
31:38just projectile everywhere.
31:45Zachary.
31:46Are we already?
31:46This is Brandon.
31:47Hey, nice to meet you.
31:48Oh, my God.
31:49We got to do a shot right away?
31:50Yeah.
31:51Bonding shot right after the...
31:53I love it.
31:53I can't wait.
31:54Cheers.
31:55Okay.
31:55Yes.
31:55I'm going to let you guys talk because I'm going to go get a drink.
31:57Oh, I mean, we're not talking right now.
31:59You're on to eat.
32:00Yes, you are.
32:00You bonded over the shot.
32:01There you go.
32:02Yeah.
32:02Okay.
32:04I think you guys should get it over now and talk to each other and get to know each other
32:08now.
32:09I want you to know, like, I'm very protective.
32:12Not even if there was red flags so much as...
32:15Well, there are.
32:15I just...
32:16I do have three kids.
32:17I do have an ex.
32:18And two baby moms.
32:19I get it.
32:19There are red flags.
32:21I get it.
32:21Brayden is that they're talking to Zach.
32:23Oh, I know.
32:24They're in the way of the cheese and I'm a little pissed off of them.
32:26I know.
32:26I wanted to hear what they're talking about.
32:29You can go over there and get the cheese.
32:29They're guardian.
32:30What do you think about Brayden?
32:32Like, actually, like...
32:33Oh, yeah.
32:33Obviously, he's smart.
32:35You guys have a lot in common.
32:36Yeah.
32:36And I feel like you need somebody like that.
32:38And I think he likes you more than you like him.
32:40And that's what you want.
32:41Yep.
32:43I get being the protective friend and, like, you know, it's fine.
32:47We can have a conversation and get to know each other.
32:49And, you know, I have Brittany's best interests in mind.
32:51And I did ask her out last night.
32:54So she has my girlfriend now.
32:59One of Brittany's biggest weaknesses is that she's very susceptible to being love bombed by men.
33:04She will open up her heart to anyone.
33:07And I want her to stop opening her heart and just open her legs because it's a lot more fun
33:12that way.
33:12Okay, if we could just take it slow.
33:17We're on the same page.
33:18She's just so fragile.
33:20She's fragile.
33:20In a state of, like, I just want her to have fun, yes.
33:23But also, like...
33:24The wrong person can come along and, like, manipulate that.
33:27Thank you.
33:27And that's what I...
33:28That's all I'm worried about.
33:30Starting this friendship.
33:31And you know what?
33:32I'm so glad that you and Brittany are together.
33:34It'll be great.
33:34You were the final boss.
33:36Mm-hmm.
33:37And you defeated me.
33:38No.
33:39Not yet.
33:41It's like barbecue on, like, a flimsy plate.
33:43And I'm like,
33:44.
33:46Bro.
33:47This is, like, the kind of...
33:47I know.
33:47Usually you need two hands.
33:49Yeah.
33:49Because I get, like, down and dirty with my barbecue.
33:51Me too.
34:03Thank you.
34:05Thank you.
34:05Senor Bucco.
34:06Yes, yes, yes, cowboy.
34:08Head of the Bucco clan.
34:09That's right.
34:10Can we have a little quick talk about some serious business?
34:13100%.
34:13The beaver hat.
34:14The fur.
34:15That's felt.
34:15This is yours?
34:18Yeah.
34:19Great.
34:19So, what do you think?
34:21I just...
34:22Yeah.
34:22One of the things you said was,
34:23yeah, we're not doing the boyfriend-girlfriend.
34:26We official.
34:26Like, I was like...
34:27Oh, he told you. Okay.
34:28I was like, oh, okay.
34:30It's not like I'm gonna get engaged or married or...
34:33It's because you know you're colorblind when it comes to flags, okay?
34:35I'm just saying it.
34:36What flags does he have?
34:38I'm trying really hard to get them off bottles,
34:40but I have not been successful yet, so...
34:42You're the best.
34:43Yes.
34:43Best cowgirl in all the West.
34:45West of the Mississippi.
34:46Okay.
34:48I talked to Jason yesterday.
34:52Why?
34:53There were some things that he'd like to apologize to you for.
34:58Okay.
34:59But if you're open to a group setting, we're talking me, Jesse, Schwartz, and you two.
35:05Cigar Lounge tomorrow night.
35:06Are you at all open to something like that?
35:11Um...
35:13That's tough because I've never had anybody in my entire life do what him and Janet did.
35:23He said he thought it would be weird for him to reach out to you,
35:26which seemed a little odd to me because, you know, a simple text could have gone a long way being
35:30like,
35:30you know, we were out of line.
35:32We may have taken things too far and regret some things we did.
35:37They have had a year.
35:39Yes.
35:39To do this.
35:40I understand.
35:41So I feel like they have had their chances.
35:43Why is it now all of a sudden so important for you to give Jason this kind of opportunity to
35:50do this
35:50when you know how I feel about him, and if you were my real friend like I feel like we
35:55are,
35:56I wouldn't be hanging out with Jason at all.
35:59For me, I personally, I had to already, like, forgive them.
36:05I'm such a loyal person.
36:07Like, I don't have friends. I have, like, brothers.
36:09And we shared a lot of good times together.
36:12And that's where it's just really hard and there's a lot of pain there.
36:18This year, I just wanted to cut anything off that was just toxic.
36:23Taking me and my energy away from my family.
36:27Your family. You're 404, man.
36:28I'm so blessed.
36:29And I want to keep that joy.
36:31And I, you have to protect your joy, protect your peace.
36:35Look, Tamar and I, I'd like to have my friends together.
36:40Is he your friend?
36:43If he had done to you what he did to me,
36:48he would not be my friend.
36:51Let me think about it.
36:52Okay.
36:53It's something that I can't just say right now that I would do.
36:56Right.
37:04Can we get two chilled shots?
37:06Smallmouth are a different beast than two largemouth.
37:09Like, the way they fight, smallmouth go and they take off like a saltwater fish.
37:12Mm-hmm.
37:13Do you agree with that situation?
37:16100%.
37:17Doing shots?
37:22No.
37:24Mocktail.
37:25I have to look into it, but some of the parents from her school are members of the tennis club
37:30up the street.
37:31They're the exes?
37:32Yeah.
37:34And this is his girlfriend right here.
37:35I'm still learning.
37:37Wait a minute.
37:38They're exes.
37:39That's the new girlfriend.
37:40Well, I did tell Jessie that Michelle called him a showman.
37:43Mm-hmm.
37:44Hey.
37:45Hey.
37:47Oh, you're, you know, Jessie being friends with you or whatever, it's all like fake performance.
37:50Like, it's not real.
37:51And that's why I said the thing about Lala wouldn't be friends with me.
37:54And she, like, went and repeated that to her.
37:56And I said, well, how would you repeat that?
37:58I know they were talking about it in the car.
37:59Mm-hmm.
38:00Lala was like, well, what's the issue?
38:01Like, what's the problem?
38:02So, Lala didn't have an issue.
38:04Yeah.
38:04She was...
38:04Oh, that's cool.
38:05Lala was kind of, like, taken back by, like...
38:08Oh, they were trying to say, like, I'm fake or something?
38:10Michelle did?
38:11Mm-hmm.
38:12Michelle wasn't really, like, trying to force the issue, but she was like, this is what was said.
38:15Yeah.
38:16Michelle is not good at understanding, like, street, like, how you talk about something.
38:20I know nothing.
38:20I'm on a healing journey with her, so I have to play dumb.
38:24I will not.
38:25But you don't fit.
38:25We're good.
38:25We're good.
38:26No, no.
38:26I mean, thank you for telling me that.
38:27I appreciate that.
38:29Because I feel like Brittany wouldn't tell me.
38:30She's like, all right, bye.
38:32We're besties.
38:32Just go talk to her.
38:34Say, I'm hungry.
38:35Yeah.
38:36Feed me, mama.
38:37Feed me.
38:38I'm gonna go sit and pull out the boob.
38:40Brittany, come here.
38:40Michelle is so dumb.
38:42She doesn't have street smarts.
38:43What are we talking about?
38:44You?
38:45Me?
38:45Wait, no.
38:46Hold on, hold on.
38:47Hold on.
38:48Chill, chill, chill.
38:49I've had a conversation with Brandon, and he was telling me that you were in the car,
38:53saying that I was fake, and that...
38:55I didn't say you were fake.
38:57Wait, Brandon said that?
38:59Alluding to that, whatever.
39:00I didn't say you were fake.
39:01They said that you thought Lala was fake.
39:03And I was like, no, that's not the case.
39:05Brandon said that?
39:06God, Brandon.
39:07I met you, and I understand who you are, all this stuff.
39:09And I was like, thank you, Brandon.
39:10That's his lot, so...
39:11Lord, help me.
39:12I know that Brandon is a social butterfly, but he is social butterflying a little too
39:16much here.
39:17Like, you do not tell my friends what another friend just said.
39:21Come here.
39:22Okay, I gotta go.
39:23Jacks love to stir the pot, gossip.
39:26This is not okay.
39:27He said he had my back in the car.
39:29I'm like, why would he have to have my back then, guys?
39:30I love you to death.
39:31Why would somebody have to have your back in the car?
39:33Word for word.
39:34I said, I've met Jasmine.
39:35I love her.
39:36She's always been nice to me.
39:37Because they were talking about me.
39:38No, they weren't talking bad about you.
39:39I feel like you're trying to attack me for no reason.
39:41No, because he was saying that you were saying some stuff in the car.
39:43Wait, no, no, no.
39:44I don't think he did.
39:45You're, like, jumping, like, I'm not talking shit about you.
39:47Because I'm having a stranger telling me that you were.
39:50Sometimes Jasmine doesn't understand maybe fully what's being said, and she will take
39:55something and run with whatever she thought was said.
39:58I will say, sometimes Jasmine, you need to listen to the full.
40:01But, Zach, if a random.
40:02Sorry, you're not in the group telling me this.
40:04I agree.
40:04Not random.
40:04That makes me feel it type of way.
40:06I agree.
40:06Okay.
40:07Let's shut this down.
40:08Lala, please help me.
40:10Tell what happened in the car.
40:11I brought it up because I've heard that you will do this thing where, like, you'll be
40:17cool to someone's face, and then you kind of will talk shit behind their back and sometimes
40:21flip-flop.
40:22I want to know, like, is that a true thing, or do I need to worry about Jasmine talking
40:26shit?
40:27Britt said I have never had that experience with her at all.
40:30It's kind of what Brandon said.
40:33You were in my car.
40:35The safe space.
40:37The bubble.
40:38You going to tell the enemy what we were talking about?
40:41You're a crap.
40:43We haven't been close in a long time, and I think you feel the same way.
40:46We're keeping an eye on each other.
40:47Like, we don't know.
40:48We're just filling it out.
40:49It's been a while.
40:50And I feel like you were trying to step on that and ruin it.
40:52I didn't feel like she was trying to step on it.
40:54I think she was trying to be protective of me, and I very much appreciate it.
40:56That's how I took it.
40:58She used to talk about you.
40:58I said it's not like she was talking shit.
41:00Bro, this is so dumb.
41:02I brought it up.
41:03This is so dumb.
41:04I don't think she talked about you at all.
41:06This is so stupid.
41:08She's not listening.
41:08She's not listening to me.
41:09Zach, I need you to stop for two seconds, please.
41:11Oh, now you're in trouble.
41:12I'm actually on his side.
41:14Zach's coming in here all hot, trying to tell me to calm down and be quiet.
41:18It's not helpful right now.
41:19Jasmine doesn't mean what she's even saying.
41:21She's just not thinking.
41:23If you knew what was going on, you'd probably be quiet and have my back right now.
41:26Well, she keeps getting triggered.
41:27I don't know why.
41:28I'm not trying to fight with her.
41:30He really made it seem like Michelle was like a bad guy.
41:32That's why I was like, what?
41:33It didn't make sense to me.
41:34You don't need to say anything else.
41:35You go in there and drink and have fun.
41:37I just hate that Zach's like, who do you need clients?
41:39Shut the up.
41:40Let me say that to my friends, not you.
41:43It happened in regular conversation.
41:45Now it's like a big thing.
41:46Definitely worried that this is going to affect the way that my friends think about him.
41:50And I'm going to try to like, hold on.
41:53But, goodness.
41:55Ugh.
41:55I don't really love it.
41:56I need another shot now because I'm ready to go home.
42:00If someone's defending you, it makes you feel like something bad was said about you.
42:03I'm going to go back past Rebels and just hide in my cave.
42:06Oh, no.
42:07Next time on The Valley.
42:09I'm going singles night tonight with your ex-wife and Lala.
42:13The three of us are going to tag team you.
42:15Yeah, I worked out this way.
42:17These bridges are burned and he's rolling his eyes.
42:19I'm rolling my eyes a little bit with the excusability.
42:22I just don't feel like you actually give a how I feel.
42:25No.
42:26Tristan, I've tried to talk to you numerous times.
42:28I'm not allowed to have a hard time.
42:29I feel like any time I misstep, I have to walk on eggshells most of the time.
42:32This is not where I want to be. You know that.
42:34You know what, because I don't f*** you.
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