- 5 hours ago
Bulls (2026)
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00:051, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
00:00:29Great darts
00:00:30Now where are you? He's coming back on
00:00:38Welcome back to the World Darts Championship
00:00:40In this cricket match, Smith and Henriksen have closed the 20s through the 15s
00:00:44and have two bullseyes
00:00:45They're also ahead by 20 points
00:00:48Whitman and Keyes have closed the 20s through the 15s
00:00:51and have one bullseye
00:00:52Alistair Whitman is going to need three bullseyes to win the first televised world championship
00:01:01And he's really going to have to hit three
00:01:03because Henriksen has been hammering the bullseye all night
00:01:06Well, if anybody can get a hat trick, it's Alistair Whitman
00:01:17Oh, that all but ends the match
00:01:20He has to hit a double bullseye to win
00:01:22and he's completely blocked it
00:01:24By engraving Smith and Henriksen on the trophy
00:01:51Women and Keyes have won the world championship
00:01:53I am Godsmack
00:01:55How did he do that?
00:01:56It's not human, I tell you
00:01:57Somebody get down there and stop the engraver
00:01:59That is the greatest closing door in the history of this game
00:02:02Grown by the greatest player in the history of this game
00:02:05That's for you, weirdo mittens
00:02:08Weirdo mittens
00:02:33You were not in the CIA
00:02:35Yes, I was, I was in Berlin when the wall came down
00:02:38You think that happened by itself?
00:02:40You're so full of shit, Birch
00:02:42All right, showtime, Mitch
00:02:55All right, all right
00:02:56You got this, Hank
00:02:58Only needs one bullseye to win
00:03:00Are you crazy?
00:03:01He hasn't hit a bullseye all night
00:03:03No way
00:03:03Well, I'm willing to bet you double or nothing on your bar tab
00:03:05He's going to hit one right now
00:03:06Oh, you're on
00:03:08All right
00:03:10You're due
00:03:11One bullseye, okay?
00:03:13You got this, baby
00:03:15You got this, baby
00:03:19You got this, baby
00:03:21You got this, baby
00:03:29Oh, you got this, baby
00:03:51what in the hell were you aiming at what do you think how the hell am i supposed to know
00:03:56you hit literally every other damn thing in the room except the bullseye
00:04:00you know hank that happens again the rules say that if you catch the dart before it hits the
00:04:07floor you can shoot again thanks have you ever caught a dart that bounced off the board
00:04:12no have you ever seen anybody catch a dart that bounced off the board no have you ever even
00:04:17heard a story about someone catching a dart that bounced off the board no thanks that's great
00:04:24advice i'm trying to be cute hank now i'm gonna kick your ass all right dude yeah let's go
00:04:33showtime baby showtime drinks
00:04:55hey thanks for the drinks our pleasure anytime showtime baby showtime
00:05:14that loss drops us number eight in the standings one more and we're right out of the playoffs
00:05:19yeah dana was right i didn't hit a bull all night no bro you just gotta learn how to close
00:05:24the game
00:05:24well it doesn't help with you betting the whole tab on the match can we afford that
00:05:28i know i should have made a disclaimer like only their drinks like we couldn't buy for
00:05:33ian and virgil too but i'm an idiot sorry
00:05:40oh oh johnny ray he's just a good friend dude what are you doing
00:05:48you're talking about jackie yeah i just couldn't think of a song with jackie in it
00:05:53was that supposed to be come on eileen there's nowhere near the lyrics dude it's not about the song
00:05:59hank what i'm talking about here is closing the deal you only live once bro yeah okay when's the
00:06:05last time you went on a date i've dated most of those around here i've just run out of options
00:06:10it's a small town i'm gonna die alone you one of their hands shut up dude
00:06:18i am beat i know i'm never playing them again i'm done i hate them it's so stupid
00:06:28go next time baby don't worry about it show time new show time
00:06:32hey hey diddle for the middle see who opens in the morning
00:06:46have a good night ma'am
00:06:47headshot
00:07:12hey jackie hiист i was a match last night
00:07:18Tough one, huh?
00:07:19We'll bounce back.
00:07:21You want something?
00:07:22Yeah, just some flights, I guess.
00:07:24What do those ones say on them?
00:07:26These?
00:07:26The ones next one.
00:07:29Foxy Mama.
00:07:31It's funny, because I was going to ask,
00:07:33have you ever had one before?
00:07:37Um, no.
00:07:39Really?
00:07:40They're kind of awesome.
00:07:41In fact, you should come by the bar sometime.
00:07:43We could have one together.
00:07:45Yeah, I really don't think that's going to be my thing.
00:07:48Come on, you can at least try one.
00:07:50I think you'll like it,
00:07:51and if for some reason you don't,
00:07:52I'll get you something else.
00:07:55What the hell are you talking about, Hank?
00:07:57What do you mean?
00:08:02Oh, okay.
00:08:03Ah.
00:08:04Oh, my God.
00:08:05I thought you said, um, Bahama Mama, like the drink.
00:08:08Ah, okay.
00:08:09Yeah, that makes way more sense.
00:08:11I was like, she wants to share a Foxy Mama with me.
00:08:15Have we met?
00:08:16No.
00:08:16Um, sorry.
00:08:18In my head, I heard Bahama Mama.
00:08:19I've been making drinks way too long.
00:08:21You still want them?
00:08:23Yeah, I gotta get them now, right?
00:08:25It's two bucks?
00:08:26Don't even worry about it.
00:08:27These are on me.
00:08:29Really?
00:08:30You come in here almost every day and buy something.
00:08:32I think I could let this slide.
00:08:34Oh.
00:08:35Thanks.
00:08:36You're welcome.
00:08:40Um, I gotta get back to work, but thanks again.
00:08:47And seriously, if you want to come by the bar one night,
00:08:51I'll make us a couple of Bahama Mamas.
00:08:54Maybe it'll be your thing.
00:08:56I might just take you up on that.
00:09:01I'll see ya.
00:09:09Hey, Hank.
00:09:10You still haven't gotten my latest check from when I produced Back to the Future,
00:09:14and I was wondering...
00:09:15You did not produce that movie.
00:09:16Yes, I did.
00:09:17No, you didn't.
00:09:18I looked it up.
00:09:19Yes, I did.
00:09:20I'm the one who told Bob to use a DeLorean.
00:09:23Do you know what the time machine was before that?
00:09:25A refrigerator.
00:09:27How bad would that movie have sucked if they used a refrigerator?
00:09:30Then how come you're not on IMDb?
00:09:32Cause I'm the uncredited guy behind the scenes.
00:09:35My ass.
00:09:37You're a very kind young man.
00:09:48Hey, Ian, can I please bum off?
00:09:50Piss off.
00:09:51Here, Virgil.
00:09:52Someone left us here.
00:09:55Thanks, buddy.
00:09:55One of these days.
00:09:56No worries.
00:09:58Alright.
00:09:59Another Rusty Dale.
00:10:00Make it a double.
00:10:08Bro, this is pathetic.
00:10:10We need to do a ladies night or something.
00:10:13We've had three.
00:10:15I've been wanting to do karaoke night, though.
00:10:16That could be cool.
00:10:17Yeah, that could be cool.
00:10:19But we need something.
00:10:20Something big.
00:10:21Something different.
00:10:23Some way to get people in here.
00:10:24Hey.
00:10:25Real people.
00:10:26Ah.
00:10:27We gotta think outside the box.
00:10:32Let's, uh, let's go work on your bullseyes and we'll try to come up an idea.
00:10:47I'll get into a big dinner night, but we'll try to do the other magic night.
00:10:53We'll do a little time.
00:10:53Who's the king?
00:10:54Who's the king?
00:10:55Who's the king?
00:10:57Who's the king?
00:10:58Who's the king?
00:11:00Who's the king?
00:11:01Who's the king?
00:11:04Who are the king?
00:11:14See, I can hit the 20s through 15s all day.
00:11:17When it comes to the bullseye,
00:11:18I have some kind of mental block.
00:11:20Rusty nail!
00:11:21One minute, Ian.
00:11:21Don't think about it.
00:11:22Just try throwing the dart as fast as you can.
00:11:24That'll think.
00:11:29Crap.
00:11:30Still waiting on that drink, Hank!
00:11:32Yeah, Ian, one second.
00:11:34That's...
00:11:34That was better.
00:11:35Okay, now...
00:11:36I don't know.
00:11:37Move your stance a little bit, okay?
00:11:40Try throwing from a different angle.
00:11:41Switch things up that don't think about it.
00:11:43Jesus Christ, give me those things, would you,
00:11:44before you hurt yourself?
00:11:45Wait.
00:11:47Hank, you need some room.
00:11:54Rusty nail!
00:11:55Now!
00:12:00What a fun.
00:12:13Was it two doubles in the one?
00:12:16Is it five bulls?
00:12:18Five.
00:12:18It was two doubles in the one, wasn't it?
00:12:20That was amazing.
00:12:37That was amazing.
00:12:50Here.
00:12:50Turn this up, would you?
00:12:53Turn this up, would you?
00:12:53Oh, what?
00:12:54Oh, Hank, with sugar and cinnamon and whatever the hell else you like, would you please turn
00:13:00this up?
00:13:02You could write a children's book.
00:13:04Hi, I'm Dirk McIntyre, and I'm standing outside Uptown Social with Nicky and Lance Gallia,
00:13:09the brother duo from Manchester, England, who some believe are the greatest to ever play
00:13:13the game of darts.
00:13:14They're here in Chicago to play for their 10th World Darts Championship, first time it's
00:13:17ever been held in our country.
00:13:19Welcome to America, gentlemen.
00:13:20Yeah, we're here to play some team from some place for the World Championship.
00:13:25Who gives a cock?
00:13:26Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:13:26Gentlemen, I need to remind you that we are on national television.
00:13:29Oh, so sorry.
00:13:31In that case,
00:13:37So, you're playing the American Champs,
00:13:39Jules, the Dutch Dragon Van Dongen, and Chuck Pipes Puglio for your 10th World Title.
00:13:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:44Dutch Oven and the Pips.
00:13:45We played him 100 times in every different format, and we're 100 now.
00:13:50It's embarrassing, honestly.
00:13:52We're embarrassed for the entire nation.
00:13:54But it would tie you with the legendary Alistair Whitman.
00:13:58Him the f***ing wanker.
00:13:59Again, national television.
00:14:01And he is considered to be the greatest dart player that's ever lived.
00:14:04In fact, didn't he come out of retirement to beat U2 for the Manchester Cup?
00:14:08Who the f***ing would you bring that up for?
00:14:09He couldn't carry me f***ing sack him.
00:14:12We're the best that's ever been, and that's a f***ing f***.
00:14:14So, you've been in town for a while, and the rumor is that it's not just to tune up for
00:14:18the big match.
00:14:19We're there to record our first f***ing album.
00:14:22So, the rumor's confirmed.
00:14:24Is there anything you can tell us about the record?
00:14:26All you need to know, friend, is it's going to be the best f***ing thing you've ever f***ed heard in
00:14:32your own miserable goddamn life.
00:14:34Gotcha.
00:14:35Do you have a name for this upcoming record?
00:14:37No, we don't have a f***ing title yet.
00:14:38It doesn't f***ing matter, does it?
00:14:40It's going to be the biggest f***ing thing ever.
00:14:43I'm sure it will be.
00:14:44Is there anything you want to say to Jules and Chuck before the match?
00:14:47Yeah, yeah.
00:14:48F*** you, you f***ing tossers, all right?
00:14:51You f***ing f***er brains.
00:14:53So, f***.
00:14:57Understood.
00:14:59And fellas, before you go, I gotta ask.
00:15:01It's nighttime.
00:15:02Why are you two wearing sunglasses?
00:15:03Why are you?
00:15:04I'm about to punch you in the face right now.
00:15:06We have daytime sunnies, nighttime sunnies, rock and roll sunnies, and dark-frowing sunnies.
00:15:11And we never, ever take off our sunnies.
00:15:15Do you even have sleeping sunglasses?
00:15:19F***, yeah!
00:15:25What a great couple of guys.
00:15:26Well, the best two out of three World Darts Championship match will be broadcast here
00:15:30from Uptown Social live tomorrow night in Chicago.
00:15:33You won't want to miss it.
00:15:34What's his problem?
00:15:35Who gives a s***?
00:15:36Dude, we should go in the city and watch this match tomorrow night.
00:15:39Hell yeah, I'm down.
00:15:40All right.
00:15:41Ooh, who's going to watch the bar?
00:15:45Ditto for the middle.
00:16:12Hey, you made it.
00:16:13I couldn't go another day without trying a Bahama Mama.
00:16:17Coming right up.
00:16:19I'm going to take a beer and a whiskey neat.
00:16:23Showtime, baby!
00:16:25Showtime!
00:16:27Hey, buddy!
00:16:28Where's Hank?
00:16:30How about later we'll play for tonight's bar tab, too?
00:16:34Showtime, baby!
00:16:36Showtime!
00:16:36Don't you two have to get tired of being you two?
00:16:41No.
00:16:41No.
00:16:44There you are.
00:16:46Cheers.
00:16:47Cheers.
00:16:53That is really good.
00:16:54I told you.
00:16:56How are those flights treating you?
00:16:58They were good.
00:16:59Um, not Bahama Mama good, but they're not bad.
00:17:03Yeah, I came by last night.
00:17:05You were here?
00:17:06Only for a second.
00:17:07You were throwing and I didn't want to bother.
00:17:09No, no, no.
00:17:09You should have said something.
00:17:11I was, um, I was looking forward to seeing you.
00:17:15Nick!
00:17:17Today's the day!
00:17:21You've always been so nice to me.
00:17:24You're a very kind young man.
00:17:25I want to give you something.
00:17:27I appreciate it.
00:17:28Thank you, Virgil, but that's not necessary.
00:17:30No, no, no.
00:17:31I want to.
00:17:32You're very kind.
00:17:33And I hope I'm not offending you.
00:17:35No, no, no.
00:17:35You're not offending me.
00:17:36I'm just in the middle of something, so...
00:17:38Great, because you're very kind.
00:17:39I want to give you something.
00:17:41Come here.
00:17:43I am here.
00:17:44No, closer.
00:17:44It's a secret.
00:17:48Closer.
00:17:51What I want to give you...
00:17:52I'm not offending you, am I?
00:17:54No, not with anything you've said.
00:17:57Good, because you're very kind.
00:17:59What I want to give you...
00:18:00It's about this big.
00:18:03And it's real.
00:18:04At least it feels real.
00:18:06I'm sure I'm not offending you.
00:18:07Um, I don't...
00:18:09I don't think so.
00:18:10I don't know.
00:18:11Well, a famous actor buddy of mine I met on Point Break.
00:18:15He gave this to me back in the 90s.
00:18:17I think he paid a fortune for it then.
00:18:19And it's real.
00:18:21Like I said, I mean, it feels real.
00:18:23And it's got real hair on it and everything.
00:18:27And I used to use it all the time.
00:18:29But I'm getting older and stuff,
00:18:31and I can't really get it going anymore.
00:18:34So now I want you to have it.
00:18:40Um, no.
00:18:41I don't think so.
00:18:43Do you understand what I'm trying to give you a hand?
00:18:45Yeah, I think I do, but I'm not...
00:18:47You're making a big mistake.
00:18:49This once belonged to...
00:18:50Jesus Christ, Virgil.
00:18:50No one wants your old, used, deathtrap of a pocket.
00:18:53Okay.
00:18:54Thank you, Ian.
00:18:57I'm sure you don't want it.
00:18:58Ugh.
00:19:02Make some noise!
00:19:03Come on!
00:19:05Representing the United States of America,
00:19:08the challengers!
00:19:10Let's hear it for Jules,
00:19:12the Dutch Dragon Van Doggen,
00:19:14and Chucky Plank Paleo.
00:19:16Let's hear it!
00:19:17Chucky!
00:19:18Chucky!
00:19:18Chucky!
00:19:20Jules!
00:19:21Jules!
00:19:22Jules!
00:19:23Make some noise for these guys.
00:19:24Come on, let's hear it.
00:19:26Everybody say, oh yeah!
00:19:28Yay!
00:19:29Hey.
00:19:30Thanks for the bar tab.
00:19:32They don't make it to a third game.
00:19:35And from Manchester, England,
00:19:38ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:38the defending nine-time world champions,
00:19:42the undisputed masters, my friends.
00:19:45They're going for the record tonight.
00:19:46They're going for number 10.
00:19:48You think they can do it?
00:19:49Well, ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:50let's hear it for Nikki,
00:19:52the Manchester Maller, Galleon,
00:19:54and Lance Prettybar, Galleon.
00:19:57The Galleon Brothers.
00:19:58Let's hear it!
00:20:04Woo!
00:20:10Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
00:20:11and welcome to tonight's World Darts Championship match.
00:20:14I'm joined in the booth by the one and only
00:20:16former national champion himself, Sean Grafton.
00:20:18Welcome aboard, Sean.
00:20:19Thanks a lot for having me, Dirk.
00:20:20Glad to be here.
00:20:21Absolutely.
00:20:22So, do you have any thoughts on tonight's match?
00:20:25The Americans are going to have a tough road ahead of them.
00:20:26The Galleon Brothers are the best team in the world
00:20:28and have never lost a single game to Jules and Chuck.
00:20:30They have a tough road indeed.
00:20:32Do you have any advice for them?
00:20:32I would tell the Americans,
00:20:34since there's a lot of bad blood between the two teams,
00:20:36just to relax.
00:20:37Don't let the Galleon Brothers get under their skin.
00:20:39Sounds like good advice.
00:20:40Well, let's go down to the Yaki
00:20:42as the match is about to begin.
00:20:44Hey, do we get free drinks in the booth
00:20:46or do I have to bring my own?
00:20:48Good luck, gentlemen.
00:20:50Shake hands and shoot well.
00:20:52Uh-huh.
00:20:52For fuck's sake.
00:20:54You two mugs again.
00:20:55America is fucking huge.
00:20:57There's got to be somebody better than you two
00:20:59from sea to shining sea.
00:21:01You would have beat your assholes
00:21:02and he'll decide if you didn't cheat.
00:21:03Who the fuck needs to cheat
00:21:04to beat you two tossers?
00:21:05What do you call messing around
00:21:06every time we're with the board?
00:21:07Okay, okay, fellas.
00:21:09Go back to your tables
00:21:10and let's play some darts.
00:21:14You know,
00:21:15I haven't thrown darts in about a month.
00:21:20This one's for your mums.
00:21:23And this one...
00:21:24He just hit a triple 20
00:21:25without even looking at the board.
00:21:27Then a triple 19.
00:21:28And this last one...
00:21:28Can't possibly hit the 18 too, can he?
00:21:31Oh, my God, he did it!
00:21:33He threw a white horse without looking.
00:21:35That's even more amazing
00:21:36than Jordan's no-look free throws.
00:21:38It's unbelievable.
00:21:40Where's my drink?
00:21:41That was amazing.
00:21:43I'm telling you
00:21:44they're the best ever.
00:21:49It's gonna be impossible
00:21:50to overcome that amazing turn
00:21:51at the hockey.
00:21:54Let's go!
00:21:55We're gonna be releasing
00:21:56our greatest stints album
00:21:57before you throw a dart.
00:21:58Why don't you show some
00:21:59sportmanship
00:22:00and let me take my turn?
00:22:01Hey, pull that shit again
00:22:03like you did in Germany.
00:22:03I'm gonna kick your ass.
00:22:10The galleons have completely
00:22:11taken the wind
00:22:12out of their sails.
00:22:16A single 17.
00:22:22Is this some kind of a joke?
00:22:24This is the best
00:22:25your country is to offer?
00:22:27The bad blood continues.
00:22:31Chuck just threw a punch at Lance.
00:22:33Oh, it looks like
00:22:33he may have hit Jules.
00:22:34Broke my nose.
00:22:35What the hell just happened?
00:22:36Ah, fuck your nose.
00:22:37I broke my stand here.
00:22:41Drinks!
00:22:42The match has been canceled.
00:22:44The match has been canceled.
00:22:46This is the first
00:22:47World Darts Championship
00:22:48that's gonna be a no decision.
00:22:49It's unbelievable.
00:22:50I've never seen anything like it.
00:22:51Is there still time
00:22:52to get my drink
00:22:52and do this at the pay?
00:23:07What in fuck is wrong with you?
00:23:09Can't you see we're creating?
00:23:11We have a problem.
00:23:13You're about to have a bigger one
00:23:15when I shove this base up your ass.
00:23:18What do I get?
00:23:20Wilkins and Williams.
00:23:22Uh, there's Hubert Michaels.
00:23:25No piss off.
00:23:26Hey, I don't...
00:23:27Why do we have to play
00:23:28any of these twatwafels anyway?
00:23:30Because we are trying
00:23:32to bring this sport to America
00:23:33and if you want to be global stars,
00:23:36sell out your music tour here
00:23:37and get minted,
00:23:39then we need a championship match
00:23:41where you don't start a fight
00:23:43and insult the entire nation.
00:23:45Well, I'll feel sorry for them
00:23:46if that's the best day I have
00:23:47because those two
00:23:49are a couple of muggy bitches.
00:23:51See, that's exactly
00:23:52what I'm talking about.
00:23:54And by the way,
00:23:55we're sick of playing
00:23:56fucking cricket.
00:23:58You threw exactly
00:23:59three dots at cricket.
00:24:01What are you talking about?
00:24:03This was just delivered
00:24:04for the Gowling brothers
00:24:05and the man said
00:24:06it was urgent.
00:24:08It's probably another love letter
00:24:10from Emma Watson.
00:24:12Oi, is he still here?
00:24:14No, he left immediately.
00:24:16What does it say?
00:24:19I have something you want.
00:24:21You have something I want.
00:24:23If you want a chance
00:24:24to win back the only trophy
00:24:25you ever lost,
00:24:26then
00:24:29we found our team.
00:24:31Dark side of the moon?
00:24:35They're a level C pub team.
00:24:38You'll destroy them.
00:24:39I know.
00:24:40It's bloody perfect.
00:24:53Hey, how much dough
00:24:56you got in the bank?
00:24:58Not a lot.
00:24:59Why?
00:24:59Yeah.
00:25:02Is everything okay?
00:25:03Yeah.
00:25:04Oh, yeah.
00:25:05Yeah, I was just curious.
00:25:07That's all.
00:25:11Hey, come on in.
00:25:12It's ladies' day.
00:25:15First drinks on the house.
00:25:17Yeah, come sit down.
00:25:19I'll tell you about the time
00:25:21I had dinner
00:25:21with the president of Botswana.
00:25:24I think we're in the wrong spot.
00:25:26No, no, no.
00:25:26No, no, no.
00:25:27This is the right spot.
00:25:28We can throw in
00:25:29a second round, too.
00:25:33You know, they just texted.
00:25:35They're at the Ritz.
00:25:36Oh, great.
00:25:37Let's go.
00:25:38Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
00:25:39Come back.
00:25:40We can do a third round.
00:25:42What the hell, Virgil?
00:25:44What'd I do?
00:25:48I thought that third round might...
00:25:51Hi, I'm looking for Hank Fuller
00:25:53and Austin Turner.
00:25:56I'm Hank, and this is Austin.
00:25:59Who are you?
00:26:00Some sort of dill collector?
00:26:02No.
00:26:02I'm Lester Harrison,
00:26:04chairman of the Championship
00:26:05Darts Corporation.
00:26:07Oh, crap.
00:26:08I think I forgot to send
00:26:09in our dues.
00:26:09This isn't about that.
00:26:11This is something much different.
00:26:13I'm here to offer you boys
00:26:14the opportunity of a lifetime.
00:26:17How would you like to play
00:26:18the Galleon Brothers
00:26:19for the Darts Championship
00:26:21of the world?
00:26:24What?
00:26:25This is some kind of joke.
00:26:26No, this is completely
00:26:27on the level.
00:26:28After the no decision last night,
00:26:30we've decided to give
00:26:31an unknown team
00:26:33a shot at the title.
00:26:34And we've chosen you.
00:26:38Why?
00:26:39Picture this.
00:26:41An unknown team
00:26:42comes from nowhere
00:26:44with a shot
00:26:45at the greatest title
00:26:48in the world of darts.
00:26:50Think of what it'll do
00:26:51for the sport.
00:26:52For every little kid
00:26:53who ever picks up a dart
00:26:54and dreams
00:26:55that maybe one day
00:26:57they too can be
00:26:58a world champion.
00:27:01We could pay anything to play.
00:27:03No, but
00:27:05$100,000
00:27:06goes to the winner.
00:27:09We'll do it.
00:27:11Wait a minute.
00:27:11Wait a minute.
00:27:12We're not going to win
00:27:13$100,000.
00:27:14We can't even beat
00:27:15Mitch and Dana.
00:27:16These guys are going
00:27:16to destroy us.
00:27:17Yeah, of course they are.
00:27:18It's going to be a massacre.
00:27:20Who cares?
00:27:21This is what they're
00:27:22looking for, Hank.
00:27:24The promo for the bar.
00:27:26It's going to be on TV, right?
00:27:28See?
00:27:29This is amazing.
00:27:30We can wear our pub t-shirts
00:27:31for the whole country to see.
00:27:33Talk to the beachers,
00:27:34see if they'll do
00:27:34an article on us.
00:27:35I don't know,
00:27:36get on the radio,
00:27:37talk about the match,
00:27:38promote the bar.
00:27:39This is amazing, bro.
00:27:40Austin.
00:27:41I'm Hank.
00:27:43Hank.
00:27:44Your mate is making
00:27:45a lot of sense.
00:27:46What do you say, gentlemen?
00:27:48Hell yeah.
00:27:49We're in.
00:27:54Awesome.
00:27:56All right.
00:27:57Let's get started.
00:28:04A decade later,
00:28:07I can say
00:28:11Finally broke the scale
00:28:17To every rule
00:28:19I can't take away
00:28:23Remind me where I've been
00:28:32Don't stay
00:28:37I would be better
00:28:39to wait
00:28:44Don't stay
00:28:49I'm feeling these
00:28:51growing cake
00:28:56All right.
00:28:57Guys, guys,
00:28:57it's coming on.
00:29:05It looks like
00:29:06there's been a shake-up
00:29:06in the world of darts.
00:29:08In an unprecedented move,
00:29:09the Championship Darts Corporation
00:29:11has chosen
00:29:13Dart Side of the Moon,
00:29:14an unknown Michigan City team
00:29:16to play for the World Darts Championship.
00:29:18Do we know what city
00:29:20in Michigan,
00:29:20Michigan,
00:29:20real friend?
00:29:21Michigan City, Indiana!
00:29:24Anyways,
00:29:25the match will take place
00:29:25this Saturday
00:29:26at 8 p.m.
00:29:27here at Uptown Social.
00:29:28You can catch it here,
00:29:29live,
00:29:29but if you'd like to go down
00:29:30and cheer on the underdogs
00:29:31in person,
00:29:32you might want to get there early
00:29:33because this one
00:29:34probably won't last long.
00:29:35Good luck, fellas.
00:29:38That sucked.
00:29:41Well,
00:29:42I should get back
00:29:43to the shop,
00:29:44but I thought
00:29:45it was great.
00:29:48Hey, Jackie,
00:29:49um,
00:29:51do you want to come
00:29:52to the match
00:29:52on Saturday?
00:29:54They're going to destroy us
00:29:55and it's going to be
00:29:56really embarrassing,
00:29:56but it would be cool
00:29:58to have you there.
00:30:00Um,
00:30:01I bought a ticket
00:30:02the moment
00:30:02you told me about it.
00:30:13Are we going to make
00:30:14complete fools of ourselves
00:30:15on national TV?
00:30:16Yeah, you will.
00:30:18Unless you do
00:30:19exactly what I say.
00:30:20What happened to you?
00:30:23You want a chance to win?
00:30:25Win what?
00:30:26The World Dart Championship,
00:30:28Hank.
00:30:28We're not trying to win.
00:30:30They're the best ever.
00:30:31Don't be ridiculous.
00:30:31They are not the best ever,
00:30:33but with that attitude,
00:30:34you will make asses
00:30:35of yourselves.
00:30:36Do you think we actually
00:30:37have a chance to beat them?
00:30:38I know this.
00:30:39If I teach you
00:30:40and coach you,
00:30:41you will not go
00:30:42on national television
00:30:43and look like
00:30:44complete morons.
00:30:48I don't know.
00:30:49What are we going to do
00:30:49in a few days?
00:30:50We're certainly not
00:30:51going to get any worse.
00:30:52You, besides,
00:30:53we should try
00:30:53to be our best, right?
00:30:54We're going to be
00:30:55shooting on national TV,
00:30:56playing with shirts
00:30:57with Michigan City
00:30:58and the pub on them.
00:30:59We can't show up
00:31:00like we don't give a shit,
00:31:01right?
00:31:04All right.
00:31:05All right.
00:31:05Let's get to work.
00:31:06We got a lot to do.
00:31:08Now?
00:31:08Now!
00:31:12Can we get some more drinks here?
00:31:14Yeah, sure.
00:31:14What are you doing?
00:31:16Going to go get some drinks?
00:31:17No, no, no, no.
00:31:18We're training.
00:31:19What about our customers?
00:31:21It's not my problem.
00:31:22Find a solution now.
00:31:26Well, I guess
00:31:27we don't need any drinks.
00:31:28Hold on.
00:31:30I think of an idea.
00:31:33What about...
00:31:35You think?
00:31:36He's always here anyway.
00:31:39Yeah, sure.
00:31:40Why not?
00:31:41Hey, Virgil.
00:31:43You want a job?
00:31:46Doing what?
00:31:47Tendent bar.
00:31:48We can't pay much
00:31:49and you're going to make
00:31:49crappy tips, but...
00:31:50Okay.
00:31:51Have you ever
00:31:52tended bar before?
00:31:53I mean,
00:31:54I used to own
00:31:54the most popular
00:31:55bistro in Paris.
00:31:56We had...
00:31:57All right.
00:31:57All right.
00:31:57Let me show you a few things.
00:31:58No, that's okay.
00:31:59I got it.
00:32:09I didn't know
00:32:09you had a neighbor.
00:32:10Hey, pour vous, monsieur.
00:32:13Oh.
00:32:14Fack a martini,
00:32:15extra dirty,
00:32:16and a Zorn after two.
00:32:44I did not see that coming.
00:32:46Mm-mm.
00:32:47It's like watching
00:32:48a horse ride a bike.
00:33:05The five things
00:33:06it takes
00:33:07to be a great dart player.
00:33:09Number one,
00:33:10how to stand at the Aki.
00:33:11It's an Aki.
00:33:12Aki is the line
00:33:12you throw the darts from.
00:33:13Why don't you say the line?
00:33:14Because it's called
00:33:15an Aki.
00:33:17Your feet should be
00:33:19a foot to a foot
00:33:20and a half apart.
00:33:21Your weight
00:33:21balanced upon
00:33:22your front leg
00:33:23with a line
00:33:25from the 20
00:33:25through the bullseye
00:33:27to the middle
00:33:28of your foot.
00:33:32Yep.
00:33:33Your back leg
00:33:33behaves as a kickstand.
00:33:35You should be comfortable
00:33:36and relaxed.
00:33:39Comfortable?
00:33:40Are we relaxed?
00:33:43Gentlemen,
00:33:43I can't tell you
00:33:44how concerned I am
00:33:45as to whether
00:33:45you're comfortable
00:33:46and relaxed or not.
00:33:49Number two,
00:33:49how to throw away darts.
00:33:51I know how to throw away darts.
00:33:51Shut up.
00:33:52Arm raised
00:33:53at a 90 degree angle,
00:33:54your forearm
00:33:55completely straight.
00:33:57Aim,
00:33:58draw back,
00:33:59fire,
00:34:00and follow through.
00:34:02Ideally,
00:34:03there should be
00:34:03as little movement
00:34:04as possible.
00:34:08Good.
00:34:08Do that a couple
00:34:09thousand times.
00:34:10A thousand?
00:34:10A couple thousand
00:34:12while I watch.
00:34:14Fellas,
00:34:15I'm going to teach you
00:34:16as my father taught me
00:34:18with hard work,
00:34:19respect,
00:34:20and dedication
00:34:21for the game.
00:34:22When I am done with you,
00:34:23you will know darts.
00:34:25Better yet,
00:34:26you will know
00:34:26yourselves.
00:34:29I will make you
00:34:30dart-throwing machines.
00:34:32I will also make you
00:34:35gentlemen of the sport.
00:34:37Oh, my God.
00:34:47People are laughing at us.
00:34:48Yeah, they are.
00:34:49You look ridiculous.
00:34:51Get used to it.
00:34:53Hank,
00:34:54you can't hit bullseyes
00:34:55when you're all alone
00:34:56at home.
00:34:56What do you think
00:34:57is going to happen
00:34:58when you're at
00:34:58the World Dart Championship
00:34:59and there's a huge
00:35:00crowd of people there
00:35:01and TV cameras
00:35:02pointed directly at you?
00:35:04Holy shit.
00:35:05Holy shit is right.
00:35:06Which is why
00:35:07I want you guys
00:35:07to do two things for me.
00:35:09Number one,
00:35:09no drinking before the match.
00:35:11Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:35:11No drinking?
00:35:12Correct.
00:35:13You mean while we're throwing?
00:35:14No, I mean no drinking.
00:35:16But what about
00:35:16when practice is over
00:35:17and I said no drinking,
00:35:19period?
00:35:19Hold on,
00:35:20but I like to wind down
00:35:21after a long time.
00:35:21Then get Harvey Wallbanger
00:35:22to coach you.
00:35:28A number two.
00:35:29I got a task
00:35:30on this piece of paper
00:35:31that I want you
00:35:32to complete
00:35:32before the match.
00:35:35Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:35:36I didn't say stop throwing.
00:35:37Get back to the hockey.
00:35:40As little movement
00:35:40as possible, right?
00:35:42Little movement
00:35:42as possible.
00:35:43How long, too?
00:35:44You both look like pigs.
00:35:51Are you sure
00:35:51this is what he meant?
00:35:53What is said
00:35:53on a piece of paper?
00:35:54It's crazy.
00:35:55It's a practice sport.
00:35:56It's going to take us
00:35:57forever to finish the game.
00:35:58I know,
00:35:58but we said we'd do it,
00:36:00so let's do it.
00:36:02Do we have to do it
00:36:03like this?
00:36:05I don't know.
00:36:07But we're here.
00:36:08So, bro.
00:36:09What happened?
00:36:10You bozos
00:36:11lose a bet?
00:36:14Fuck this.
00:36:15I'm out of here.
00:36:15Yep.
00:36:16Thank God.
00:36:18Austin.
00:36:19What?
00:36:21Austin.
00:36:32Number three.
00:36:34Strategy.
00:36:35We must always stay
00:36:37one step ahead
00:36:38of our opponents.
00:36:39They close one number,
00:36:40we close the next.
00:36:42They go for points,
00:36:43we go for more.
00:36:44We never play
00:36:46their game, fellas.
00:36:47And we wait for them
00:36:49to make the one
00:36:50little mistake
00:36:50that allows us
00:36:51to bounce and defeat them.
00:36:59Hank the Hammer?
00:37:00Number four.
00:37:02You gotta have
00:37:02a cool nickname.
00:37:04It is pretty cool.
00:37:05Yeah, because you're
00:37:06not being called
00:37:07a tosser.
00:37:27Ace of the 18.
00:37:28I'm trying.
00:37:29Okay.
00:37:34Give me a number.
00:37:3717.
00:37:38Triple 13.
00:37:39Got it.
00:37:41Okay.
00:37:42Lower.
00:37:46Nope.
00:37:48Nope.
00:37:48I'm leaving.
00:37:50Austin.
00:37:50Nope.
00:37:52Austin!
00:37:58I don't know what to do.
00:37:59I tried everything.
00:38:00Hank,
00:38:01what's your favorite
00:38:01number to throw at?
00:38:04Anything besides the bowls.
00:38:05No, I mean,
00:38:06what's your favorite number?
00:38:07Every dart player
00:38:08has a favorite number.
00:38:09I like 18s.
00:38:10Okay.
00:38:11Do you think
00:38:12you can hit
00:38:1318
00:38:14in that circle?
00:38:17I think so, yeah.
00:38:18All right.
00:38:19Let me see.
00:38:21Good.
00:38:21Now, the next time
00:38:22you throw,
00:38:22aim at that dart.
00:38:23Just use it
00:38:24as a marker.
00:38:30Okay.
00:38:30Yeah.
00:38:31I see that,
00:38:32but the 18s are easy.
00:38:33It's the bullseye
00:38:34can't hit.
00:38:35Yes, you can.
00:38:36The bullseye
00:38:37is a circle
00:38:38one and a half
00:38:39inches in diameter.
00:38:40It's actually
00:38:40one of the larger
00:38:41landing areas
00:38:42on the board.
00:38:43It's just
00:38:43an optical illusion.
00:38:46That space,
00:38:47you just hit
00:38:48all those 18s
00:38:49is the same size
00:38:51as the bullseye.
00:38:52If you can hit
00:38:53those 18s,
00:38:54you can hit
00:38:55the bulls.
00:38:55That's all
00:38:55there is to it.
00:38:57Now, throw
00:38:58at the bulls,
00:38:58but in your mind,
00:39:00just imagine
00:39:00that big open space
00:39:01where you hit
00:39:02all those 18s.
00:39:11What's that?
00:39:11Right?
00:39:12It's just an 18,
00:39:14right?
00:39:14Breathe,
00:39:16picture the 18,
00:39:17and throw.
00:39:31Awesome.
00:39:31Did you see that?
00:39:32Way to go, man.
00:39:33That's how you do it.
00:39:36One out of three
00:39:36is not going to cut it,
00:39:38so let's get back
00:39:39to work.
00:39:40I can tell you this,
00:39:41the Galeon Brothers
00:39:41have taken this
00:39:42more seriously
00:39:43than you guys are.
00:39:43I can tell you this.
00:39:47DICKY!
00:39:53So then I thought,
00:39:55is it a gift from Evan
00:39:56to know that
00:39:57we're going to die?
00:39:59Right.
00:40:01Yeah, well,
00:40:01you should probably
00:40:03just see.
00:40:04Is that an
00:40:05Umbab tattoo
00:40:06on your wrist?
00:40:07Yeah,
00:40:08but it's pronounced
00:40:08Umbab love.
00:40:09Yeah,
00:40:10I'm pretty sure
00:40:10it's Umbab.
00:40:12No,
00:40:12it's Umbab.
00:40:14Anyway,
00:40:14why do you have
00:40:15a tattoo
00:40:16of a terrible song
00:40:17on your arm?
00:40:17A terrible song?
00:40:19Are you fucking kidding me?
00:40:20Have you ever
00:40:21listened to the lyrics?
00:40:22Yeah,
00:40:22don't they just say
00:40:23Umbab over
00:40:24and over again?
00:40:25No, love.
00:40:26It's a song
00:40:27about relationships
00:40:28and getting older
00:40:30and losing your hair
00:40:32and flowers.
00:40:35It's like
00:40:35The Beatles
00:40:36when I'm 64
00:40:38or Shakespeare
00:40:39or Yeats.
00:40:42It's fucking poetry,
00:40:43darling.
00:40:44Here,
00:40:45listen to this.
00:40:47Can you tell me?
00:40:48Oh,
00:40:50no.
00:40:51You can't
00:40:52because you don't know.
00:40:54Can you tell me?
00:40:56You say you can.
00:40:58But you don't know.
00:41:01Can you tell me?
00:41:03Oh,
00:41:04which flower
00:41:05is gonna grow?
00:41:07No,
00:41:09you can't
00:41:09because you don't know.
00:41:12Can you tell me
00:41:13whether it'll be a daisy
00:41:15or a rose?
00:41:18You say you can.
00:41:20But you don't know.
00:41:23Yeah,
00:41:25Umbab is still
00:41:25a terrible song.
00:41:27It's Umbab.
00:41:29I didn't finish
00:41:30telling you the lyrics.
00:41:32Lastly,
00:41:33and most important,
00:41:35number five,
00:41:37release the pressure.
00:41:40At all times,
00:41:41we want to be calm,
00:41:43relaxed,
00:41:44and in focus.
00:41:46My father would say
00:41:48that when he was
00:41:48in the zone,
00:41:49everything else in the world
00:41:50would go away.
00:41:52It's just him,
00:41:53with his darts,
00:41:54and the dartboard.
00:41:57Don't let anything
00:41:58rattle you.
00:41:59We respond,
00:42:01we do not react.
00:42:03And remember,
00:42:06breathe.
00:42:15real hard.
00:42:17There we go.
00:42:21What do you want?
00:42:22What do you want?
00:42:23Bullseyes.
00:42:24It's time for bullseyes.
00:42:25Easy.
00:42:27I didn't mean hard.
00:42:30I won't.
00:42:31Closer.
00:42:32Closer.
00:42:33Don't leave me hanging.
00:42:33I won't leave you.
00:42:35There it is.
00:42:37Bullseyes.
00:42:38Bullseyes.
00:42:58Hey.
00:43:03How's it going?
00:43:05I'm on my way to training.
00:43:07I just wanted to come by
00:43:08and see you real quick.
00:43:09Great.
00:43:11How are you holding up?
00:43:12Big matches tomorrow.
00:43:14Yeah.
00:43:14It's crazy, right?
00:43:16You're still coming,
00:43:17aren't you?
00:43:18Of course.
00:43:18I'm so excited.
00:43:20And just think,
00:43:21pretty soon,
00:43:21you're going to be
00:43:22world champs.
00:43:24I don't know about that.
00:43:26Hey.
00:43:28Good luck tomorrow.
00:43:29We're all watching
00:43:30and rooting for you.
00:43:31Thanks, man.
00:43:32See?
00:43:33Well,
00:43:34what I was going to say is,
00:43:36I don't know if we'll win,
00:43:37but if we can at least
00:43:38make it go to three games,
00:43:39that would be amazing.
00:43:41No, you're going to win.
00:43:42And when you do,
00:43:44you better not forget about us.
00:43:47Impossible.
00:43:49You guys have worked hard.
00:43:51Come a long way.
00:43:52There's just one thing left.
00:43:54What's that?
00:43:56Play me in a game of darts.
00:44:01Shoot well, gentlemen.
00:44:10Show me the best that you've got
00:44:13and I'll show you one better.
00:44:18Show me your red is frozen
00:44:21and I'll show you one better.
00:44:26Tell me your dirty joke
00:44:29and I'll laugh it off lightly.
00:44:34If I tell you a dirty joke,
00:44:37you might not like me.
00:44:42Everyone gets to make
00:44:45one big mistake
00:44:50And if you're waiting on me,
00:44:52well, I guess you're going to have to wait
00:44:58Because I'm saving mine up
00:45:00for a very, very special day
00:45:06When I can fuck it all up
00:45:08in the most spectacular way
00:45:15Everyone gets to make
00:45:17one big mistake
00:45:22And if you're waiting on me,
00:45:25well, I guess you're going to have to wait
00:45:29And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait
00:45:32When you're next to make
00:45:33One big mistake
00:45:35Oh, no, it's going to freeze quick.
00:45:38I guess you're going to have to wait
00:45:44Hey, hey, hey,
00:45:45You're going to have to wait
00:45:47Because I'm saving my money
00:45:49For a very, very special day
00:45:52It doesn't matter if you're going to be a matter of time
00:45:56I don't love you in the most spectacular way
00:46:03Show me the best you've got
00:46:06And I'll show you what's better
00:46:08All right, uh, tomorrow I'll pick you guys up
00:46:12Before the match, we'll go over everything
00:46:15Make sure you're in the right frame of mind
00:46:20Oh, and, uh, I don't think I'm proud of you guys or anything
00:46:31Can you believe we just beat Ian?
00:46:33Bro, we might have a chance at winning tomorrow
00:46:36Yeah
00:46:38Excuse me
00:46:40Hey
00:46:41Sorry to interrupt
00:46:42Can I talk to you for a minute?
00:46:44Yeah, sure, yeah
00:46:45Oh, take a time
00:46:54Hey, Virgil
00:46:55You, uh, do me a favor
00:46:58So I got you something for the match tomorrow
00:47:01You did?
00:47:02Yeah, it's not much
00:47:03And you don't have to use them if you don't want to
00:47:05But I just thought
00:47:10Turn it around
00:47:13This is great
00:47:14Oh, I'm definitely going to wear this tomorrow
00:47:18Thank you
00:47:19And one for Austin
00:47:27He's going to hate it
00:47:29It's great
00:47:31And I didn't know if Ian had a nickname, so
00:47:37Yeah, that's
00:47:40That's him
00:47:41That'll do it
00:47:43Thank you
00:47:43Of course
00:47:48So, uh, where'd the name Good News come from?
00:47:51My grandparents were collectors
00:47:54They used to take me on these long drives
00:47:56Where we'd go to these little shops
00:47:58And they'd find these great pieces
00:48:00My grandmother used to find a piece she loved
00:48:03And say, well, here's some good news
00:48:06I always got a kick out of that
00:48:08That's cute
00:48:10So what about you, Hank?
00:48:11Was it always your dream to own a bar
00:48:13And play the World Darts Championship?
00:48:17No
00:48:17No, not even close
00:48:19Um, the bar's been in the family forever
00:48:23But it sat empty for years
00:48:24And then after Mom died
00:48:26And me and Austin moved back
00:48:29We were like, hey, let's get the old pub up
00:48:31And running again, so
00:48:32So you and Austin?
00:48:34The half-brothers
00:48:35Different dads
00:48:36Huh
00:48:37I didn't know that
00:48:40Hey
00:48:41Ooh
00:48:42Do you have a few minutes?
00:48:44Sure, what's up?
00:48:46I want to show you something real quick
00:48:47Here, come on
00:48:48Everywhere I go
00:48:51All of the signs point to you
00:48:55Like something divine
00:48:57And I hope this is forever
00:48:59There ain't no
00:49:01Who is that?
00:49:03That is Jay
00:49:04He's great, right?
00:49:06Amazing
00:49:08How did I not know about this?
00:49:10It doesn't publicize it
00:49:12It just does these little impromptu shows
00:49:14And if you're in the know
00:49:15You get a little alert
00:49:17When what's happening
00:49:19It's pretty cool, right?
00:49:21Very cool
00:49:22Can I be in the know?
00:49:26I think we could work something out
00:49:27When life was like before you
00:49:32Everyone knows that I've been falling apart
00:49:37So then, what is your dream, right?
00:49:44What?
00:49:45You can tell me
00:49:46It can't be that bad
00:49:49I've always wanted to do that
00:49:53Sing?
00:49:57Sing something for me
00:49:58No
00:49:59Why not?
00:50:01It makes me nervous
00:50:04Why?
00:50:05I don't know
00:50:06It's just
00:50:06You're up there all alone
00:50:08And people are staring at you
00:50:09It's just
00:50:11Well, you gotta try
00:50:13Close your eyes
00:50:14Picture everybody in their underwear
00:50:16Have a Bahama Mama
00:50:18Or two
00:50:19You'll be great
00:50:23You're gonna sing for me one day
00:50:24Thankfully
00:50:28After all this training
00:50:29We've been doing with Thea
00:50:30And I've been thinking about
00:50:32Giving it a shot
00:50:34I'm gonna hold you to it
00:50:51Thank you for taking me
00:50:53I, oh, his voice was so good
00:50:56Of course
00:50:57I'm glad it came up, you know
00:50:59And I'm in the know now, right?
00:51:01Officially, yeah
00:51:02Okay
00:51:02I'll hold you to it
00:51:03Hey
00:51:04Do you wanna come up for a glass of wine?
00:51:06I don't have the stuff to make at Bahama Mama
00:51:08But
00:51:10Sounds good
00:51:11Cool
00:51:23Is Austin here?
00:51:26Austin?
00:51:28He's probably sold the bar
00:51:29Wow
00:51:32Great place
00:51:33Did you design it yourself?
00:51:35Thank you
00:51:36Yeah, pretty much
00:51:37Um
00:51:39TV and dark wood are Austin's
00:51:45Can I use your bathroom?
00:51:47Yeah
00:51:47Yeah
00:51:48Let me show you where that is
00:51:51Here you go
00:51:57Did you see me?
00:51:58No, I think so
00:51:59Okay
00:52:00Look, what do we do?
00:52:01Should we stay?
00:52:02We should go
00:52:02Oh my god
00:52:05Okay, I'm so sorry
00:52:06Let's just head out
00:52:07My tent like this never happens
00:52:11Egg?
00:52:13Yeah?
00:52:14Is that
00:52:15Is that you?
00:52:17Yeah?
00:52:19Okay
00:52:20Uh
00:52:21I'll be out in just a minute
00:52:25I'll see you at the match tomorrow
00:52:28You're gonna be great
00:52:31Yeah
00:52:42Whoa
00:52:43Dude, are you okay?
00:52:46Sorry about that
00:52:47Um
00:52:48Just been a little bit stressed
00:52:50And
00:52:51Just trying to blow off some steam
00:52:54By getting herpes?
00:52:55Dude
00:52:56Virgil has been using that thing since the 90s
00:52:58I know
00:53:00I've hit an all-time low
00:53:02What are you stressed about?
00:53:04Dude, we're gonna be great tonight
00:53:05It's not about the match
00:53:06It's
00:53:07What?
00:53:08I could help
00:53:08What is it?
00:53:09No
00:53:09No, no, no
00:53:10I got it
00:53:11I got it
00:53:13I tell you
00:53:13I sure could use a drink right about now
00:53:15Ian said we have to do exactly as he said
00:53:17He says if you drink
00:53:18He's not gonna know
00:53:20Yeah
00:53:20But I will
00:53:25Look, I
00:53:27I gotta
00:53:28I gotta throw this thing away
00:53:30Carrying around a bag
00:53:31Full of shame
00:53:33I'm gonna go for a little walk
00:53:35And collect my thoughts
00:53:37We can talk about this when I get back
00:53:40Cool
00:53:42Cool
00:53:43Sure
00:53:44Yeah, but
00:53:45Austin
00:53:45Seriously, man
00:53:47Don't go out drinking
00:53:49We have a chance tomorrow
00:53:50You saw what happened tonight
00:53:51We beat Ian
00:53:52He let us win
00:53:57God damn it
00:53:58It's not what I
00:54:02I'm sorry
00:54:03I'm gonna get rid of this
00:54:05And I'll just be right back
00:54:06I'm sorry
00:54:23I'm sorry
00:54:23I'm sorry
00:54:23I'm sorry
00:54:25I'm sorry
00:54:35I'll just be right
00:54:39do you want a walking partner excuse me do you want a walking partner
00:54:45just you're there and i'm here and it's that weird sort of awkward thing and i just figured well
00:54:49that's silly you know we may as well walk together yeah sure where are you headed do you know where
00:54:55holloway drive is uh you sure you're in the right neighborhood i have no idea i just moved here and
00:55:02um i was meeting some co-workers and i can't find the street and i keep texting them but
00:55:08nothing and i'm so lost yeah i've never heard of it you tried googling it yeah i did but nothing
00:55:16came up i just drove down here i figured this is where all the cool spots in town seem to
00:55:20be
00:55:21they are but uh i don't know i grew up here i've never heard of that before um
00:55:27sorry i i i wish i could help you out just ah it's fine i'll just see them on monday
00:55:34and figure
00:55:35something out
00:55:38i could i could walk you back to your car if you'd like that'd be nice thanks
00:55:47it's in the back what the heck is that it's it's nothing uh that was nothing that was um
00:55:56that was my little brother's i was just throwing away for him so and uh now it's gone
00:56:02you're acting really strange was that a uh no that was that was nothing that was definitely
00:56:08nothing it's gone so um so uh how long you lived here about a week wow you are new i
00:56:23am
00:56:24where'd you move from santa claus santa claus okay now you're just you know you're just messing with me
00:56:32honestly it's a small town oh no i know all about santa claus indiana i just never met anybody from
00:56:39there that's where i am really yeah holy shit you have no idea how excited this makes me why is
00:56:46that
00:56:46i don't know i've always just had a thing for those little indiana towns with weird funky names you
00:56:53know like mudsock hey that's a good one um carefree indiana toad hop
00:57:02hardscrabble bee hunter god damn you're good at this um okay now if you want to get a little
00:57:08spicy there's the famous french lick indiana keeping on the spicy theme there is booty
00:57:15booty yeah you know it's spelled like buddha you know how the rest of the world would pronounce it but
00:57:20this being indiana nice that's hilarious um okay now one of my personal favorites floyd's knob
00:57:31pocket punani pocket what no that was that was my little brother i swear i hope for your sake it
00:57:40was
00:57:40because that did not look good no i'm honest well this is me oh it's been nice yeah do you
00:57:51want to get a drink
00:57:56a drink a drink uh yeah
00:58:00are you nervous never me thank you
00:58:06thank you very much looks great
00:58:12yeah
00:58:18it's weird what is well i've i've been in this place a bunch of times and it's always packed
00:58:26makes you feel like everybody knows something you don't
00:58:30maybe it's just one of those kind of nights
00:58:33what kind of that the unexpected can happen
00:58:40can i ask you a serious question now sure you sure yeah okay
00:58:48have you ever noticed how much the statue of liberty looks like elvis
00:58:53what no it doesn't oh you don't believe me no it doesn't okay
00:59:00just take a look at this please
00:59:05that's insane that's crazy right how come more people aren't talking about this i don't know
00:59:13you know what i think it that's up to us now to start getting the word out about it
00:59:22so what do you do i own a bar i own a bar with my my little brother hank oh
00:59:29the one with the uh
00:59:32jeez yes yeah yeah that's the one
00:59:37you're not gonna believe this uh
00:59:42he and i are playing for the world darts championship tomorrow in chicago
00:59:48you're right i don't believe you there is no such thing as the world darts championship what yes
00:59:53there is it's a real thing and we're playing in it tomorrow it's gonna be on tv and everything
00:59:59seriously yeah wow it's nuts i mean that's amazing you must be pretty good
01:00:12yeah well let's drink to that then cheers
01:00:24come on man it's your phone
01:00:32i screwed up
01:00:34i told him you let us win the match yesterday
01:00:37oh i'm sorry it's been so stressed out lately
01:00:45the bar's in terrible shape we're barely hanging on
01:00:49this apartment i mean everything it's all tied together and to lose it all i i've been so stressed
01:00:57out lately i even used virgil's fake hoo-ha i know i know disgusting hank he doesn't he doesn't know
01:01:06about any of this well you know he knows about the the hoo-ha that was embarrassing he doesn't know
01:01:13about the rest you know they've just come so far let's go find him okay
01:01:23that's okay come on
01:01:30just the guy i wanted to see why have you seen hank nope i finally got my check you gotta
01:01:37be
01:01:37shitting me i told you if it weren't for me it would have been a damn refrigerator well then
01:01:43virgil i guess you deserve that money hey do me a favor if you see hank have him get in
01:01:48touch
01:01:48with me immediately please sure thing everything okay i don't know man we're about to find out
01:02:01hey here for some last minute supplies no i uh uh uh where is he i was hoping you might
01:02:11know
01:02:13you know you know he really well you're the first place to look
01:02:25i don't mean to put this on you but i don't know what i would do if you was to
01:02:35leave me the truth
01:02:38is i can't live without you i don't know where i would go i don't know but all i know
01:02:51is i just would not be myself i don't need nobody else but you i don't mean to put this
01:03:02on you
01:03:04but i don't know what i would do but i don't know what i would do if you was to
01:03:10leave me the truth
01:03:13is i can't live without without you i want you all to myself
01:03:21because i don't need nobody else we have a love that is true
01:03:31because i can't live without without you why'd you leave
01:03:41am i kidding
01:03:44these guys are the best in the world and i can't even hit a bullseye when i'm at home by
01:03:47myself
01:03:50i started to believe we could win too
01:03:56you can't hit a bullseye is that a joke
01:04:02what do you mean
01:04:04you hit one every moment of every day with me you've never not hit a bullseye as far as i
01:04:10can
01:04:10tell hank you're just a bullseye kind of guy
01:04:19look how far you've come
01:04:23there's a champion inside you that's what i see
01:04:29now go show the world what the hank fuller that i know can do
01:04:39thanks no don't thank me when you win you owe me a song
01:04:48i'll see you at the match wouldn't miss it for the world
01:04:59i mean if he doesn't get here soon he'll be here
01:05:06i'm sorry i'm late
01:05:08you're my brother hank you don't apologize to me i'm just glad you made it
01:05:12oh by the way i didn't drink last night
01:05:16and i was wrong ian didn't let us win the match right i don't know if you drank last night
01:05:22or not
01:05:23but if you did i'm gonna kick your ass and yeah i didn't let you guys win you guys played
01:05:28great
01:05:29now why don't we show these boys how we do things on this side of the pond
01:05:51so
01:05:57so
01:06:19Hold this and stand to be accurate.
01:06:24What's that, sir?
01:06:25Uh, seven feet, nine and a quarter inches.
01:06:29Now, hold it at the bullseye.
01:06:33Now, what's that, sir?
01:06:34Five feet, eight inches.
01:06:36Exactly right.
01:06:37It's the same dartboard you guys been throwing at the whole time.
01:06:40They don't change any rules for the world championship.
01:06:44Cool? Cool.
01:06:46All right, let's go warm up.
01:06:49Guys, wait a second.
01:06:51What's that?
01:06:52They didn't even bother to change the banner.
01:06:58That's okay.
01:06:59After tonight, they're never gonna forget your names.
01:07:18Ladies and gentlemen, let's get started!
01:07:22Let's get started!
01:07:24There it is!
01:07:26Everybody say, oh yeah!
01:07:28Oh yeah!
01:07:29Oh yeah!
01:07:29Oh yeah!
01:07:30Oh yeah!
01:07:31Oh yeah!
01:07:31We're here at Chester England, now-time world champions, the Galliard Brothers!
01:07:37Let's hear it!
01:07:39Thanks a lot, people!
01:07:41Shabu Gahab!
01:07:43Woo!
01:07:47Woo!
01:07:51Let me hear you make some noise.
01:07:54And from Michigan City, Indiana.
01:07:59We got you rolling.
01:08:02Let's hear from Michigan City, Indiana.
01:08:04Hang the hammer.
01:08:06And talk to Austin Turner, baby.
01:08:09Dark Side of the Moon.
01:08:12Let me hear you guys say, oh yeah.
01:08:30Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
01:08:32And thanks for joining me and my partner in the booth,
01:08:34Sean Grafton, for tonight's World Darts Championship.
01:08:37What do you think, Sean?
01:08:38First off, I just want to apologize for the joke I made last week
01:08:41about, you know, having a drink in the booth.
01:08:44That's just silly dart humor,
01:08:45and I really didn't mean anything by it.
01:08:47Not a problem.
01:08:48I doubt anybody took that seriously.
01:08:50So, thoughts about the match?
01:08:52One word, bloodbath.
01:08:54These guys from a pub league in a little town in Indiana
01:08:56have no chance.
01:08:57Two games to nothing.
01:08:58I doubt they even score a single point against the Giants.
01:09:01Well, there you have it, folks,
01:09:03from the former champ himself.
01:09:05Let's go down to the hockey as the match is about to begin.
01:09:14Hey, my name is Ian.
01:09:15I coached outside of the moon.
01:09:18Good luck, man.
01:09:19You're going to need it.
01:09:20Do you have our trophy?
01:09:21I think they only give you that if you win.
01:09:24You guys got what I want?
01:09:25What, an apology?
01:09:26What do we owe you a fucking apology for?
01:09:28What you said about my father.
01:09:31Hey, I'll get it out there.
01:09:33Hey.
01:09:34Yeah.
01:09:34Hey.
01:09:35Who's Earl Ben?
01:09:37My father is Alistair Whitman.
01:09:40And now I wish you guys good luck.
01:09:42Because you're going to need it.
01:09:46Wait a second.
01:09:47Is he really your dad?
01:09:48Stay focused.
01:09:48Finish warming up.
01:09:55Did you hear that?
01:09:56Did I just hear that Alistair Whitman is his father?
01:10:00That's what it sounded like to me.
01:10:02If that's true, does that make any difference in tonight's match?
01:10:05No.
01:10:06They still have zero chance to win.
01:10:10Tonight's game is the best of three match.
01:10:12The first team to win two matches is the champion.
01:10:15Now the standard CDC rules apply, and the Galleon brothers won first to throw.
01:10:19Are you ready, gentlemen?
01:10:21Then shake hands and shoot well.
01:10:24Shoot well.
01:10:25You twos are punching way above your weight.
01:10:27Hey, we've been told to be nice and play a soft little game and make it look good.
01:10:31So play alone, or I'll send you both home in a fucking ambulance.
01:10:35And here you go.
01:10:36We want you to be the first to have this.
01:10:38The CD.
01:10:39Great.
01:10:41Hold on.
01:10:41This is our name.
01:10:42And now it will always be remembered as a title of our first album.
01:10:47You're welcome.
01:10:49I don't want that piece of shit record.
01:10:51Yeah, I might check it out.
01:10:52That'd be cool, right?
01:10:53What?
01:10:54Hey, hey, can I see that thing for a second?
01:10:57Get the fuck out.
01:10:58What are you doing?
01:11:00I'm looking for my friend.
01:11:02Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:03They're going to throw your darts for you?
01:11:05Why don't you guys get your heads in the game?
01:11:15They're not even going for points.
01:11:18Oh, Whitehorse.
01:11:19He threw a Whitehorse.
01:11:23Screw them.
01:11:24You know what to do.
01:11:25They're not taking Darkseid seriously.
01:11:27They just went in.
01:11:28Well, let's see how Darkseid responds.
01:11:34Trouble 17.
01:11:37Trouble 16.
01:11:38Okay.
01:11:39Trouble 15?
01:11:41That's unbelievable.
01:11:42These boys came to play.
01:11:47Jesus.
01:11:54The DJ's own my pussy.
01:11:57The DJ owns my pussy.
01:12:02Woo!
01:12:04Hold the blind to that, didn't you?
01:12:16Austin's turn to the hockey much for shaking Nicky up,
01:12:18because he only hit two 20s.
01:12:20What the fuck was that?
01:12:23Here we go.
01:12:23This is our chance.
01:12:25Go for points.
01:12:25Close out 20s, 19s.
01:12:27We got it.
01:12:29Yeah.
01:12:30Yeah.
01:12:30Yeah.
01:12:31Yeah.
01:12:32Yeah.
01:12:32Yeah.
01:12:33Yeah.
01:12:34Yeah.
01:12:36Yeah.
01:12:43Hank only manages 34 points.
01:12:46Sorry about that.
01:12:48We're still in.
01:12:49Come on.
01:12:54Lance closes the 17s and 16s.
01:13:01Austin closes 20s and 19s.
01:13:03We should have gone for points in the 15s.
01:13:05His coach won't be happy about that.
01:13:08Nicky closes the 15s and lands a bullseye.
01:13:12So we're in the 18s.
01:13:14It's just the 18s.
01:13:22Hank is only able to get one bullseye.
01:13:24He needed a bunch of them to keep them in this.
01:13:26Well, whatever your name is,
01:13:28you're just a little chakaree cracks in the pressure,
01:13:30aren't you?
01:13:31Get your notebook, laddie.
01:13:33Show you how it's done.
01:13:38Guy and brothers, one.
01:13:39Dark side of the moon, zero.
01:13:41Just as I predicted, Dirk.
01:13:42Folks, if you have those dinner reservations in 20 minutes,
01:13:45you're not going to miss them.
01:13:48I'm killing this guy, son.
01:13:49I'm sorry.
01:13:50I'm going to tell you something my father told me about dogs,
01:13:53but it applies to everything in life.
01:13:55You have to believe right here, right now,
01:13:58that you're as great as any dart team that ever was
01:14:00or ever will be.
01:14:02But you have to believe that.
01:14:04Hank!
01:14:06Hey.
01:14:06Hank.
01:14:07How's the match going?
01:14:08Uh, it's terrible.
01:14:10We lost the first game.
01:14:11I, um, I couldn't concentrate.
01:14:14Well, I think it's because I had to get you these.
01:14:22So you weren't lying.
01:14:26Hey, you made it.
01:14:28You kidding?
01:14:29I had to see this with my own eyes.
01:14:32What the hell is this?
01:14:33Let's throw some darts so we can get the hell out of here.
01:14:38I'll see you around, okay?
01:14:41Hey, uh, don't go anywhere.
01:14:43I won't.
01:14:44I promise.
01:14:45You promise?
01:14:46I promise.
01:14:47But you have to promise me something.
01:14:50Anything.
01:14:51When?
01:14:57All right.
01:14:59You heard what the man said.
01:15:01Let's throw some darts.
01:15:03Let's go.
01:15:08This should be the final game of the match.
01:15:10I don't think dartside can keep up with it.
01:15:18Lance is keeping the same strategy.
01:15:20Closing the 20s and 19s.
01:15:22Yep.
01:15:22Let's see if Austin can answer like last game.
01:15:24Let's see if he's going to be the final game of the match.
01:15:36Trouble 20.
01:15:38Trouble 19?
01:15:41Trouble 18?
01:15:42I didn't see that guy.
01:15:43It's like he said, you can't hit the white horse here.
01:15:46But I sure as shit can.
01:15:49Great charge.
01:15:54They're still not taking them seriously.
01:15:56Hank stepped up to Gliocchi.
01:15:57This is where the game has faltered in the past.
01:16:00Trouble 17.
01:16:01Trouble 16.
01:16:07Trouble 15.
01:16:08Wow.
01:16:09Wow.
01:16:09The Galleons are going to start taking them seriously now.
01:16:15Single bullseye.
01:16:18Double bullseye.
01:16:21And another single bullseye.
01:16:23Yeah, you see, now they're starting to score points.
01:16:26Austin could potentially close the game.
01:16:28He needs to shut down the bulls first.
01:16:32Single bull.
01:16:36Double bull.
01:16:37He needs the trouble 16 or 15 for a miracle game.
01:16:42Dark Side of the Moon throws a perfect game.
01:16:44I cannot believe it.
01:16:45What an amazing display of darts.
01:16:47No one saw this coming, especially me.
01:16:49The Galleon Brothers won.
01:16:51Dark Side of the Moon won.
01:16:52Ladies and gentlemen, now we have a match.
01:16:55That's right.
01:16:56Cancel those dinner reservations.
01:16:58Showtime, babies!
01:17:00Showtime!
01:17:01Ha ha ha!
01:17:07They took off their sunnies.
01:17:08They said they never take off their sunnies.
01:17:10They mean business.
01:17:11Here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:14The final game.
01:17:15This is exciting stuff.
01:17:23Lance Galleon hits three triple 20s.
01:17:25He's closed the 20s and scored 120 points.
01:17:28That was a magnificent start to the game.
01:17:38Trouble 19.
01:17:41Another trouble 19.
01:17:44The way these two are throwing, their coach may really be Alistair Whitman's son.
01:17:50Austin Turner hits seven 19s.
01:17:53Darts Out of the Moon are 76 points.
01:17:55Great response.
01:17:59Nicky hits the triple 19s and three 18s.
01:18:02As I thought, both teams are now playing a modern strategy.
01:18:10Hank Fuller hits two triple 17s and a triple 20s.
01:18:13Fantastic darts.
01:18:15They've now gone ahead with 127 points.
01:18:19Lance hits the triple 18 and three 17s.
01:18:22They've retaken the lead with 174.
01:18:25What a match.
01:18:27In Freddy Ball.
01:18:29And now they have the lead by one.
01:18:34Nicky finds four 15s, giving them the lead with 189 points.
01:18:42If again, inched ahead with 191 points.
01:18:45This is like two heavyweight boxers giving everything they have in the final round of a title match.
01:18:51An incredible thing to witness.
01:18:53Lance lands a triple 15.
01:18:55Then finds two 16s.
01:18:56They're ahead with 234 points.
01:19:01Austin hits another triple 16 and closes the 15s.
01:19:04As they've regained the lead with 239 points.
01:19:10Blast heart just misses.
01:19:12Yes, but it landed in the 16, closing out that number.
01:19:15Meaning it all comes down to the bulls.
01:19:17To recap, the Gallium Brothers have closed out the 20s through the 15s and they've managed two bullseyes.
01:19:23They also have 234 points.
01:19:25Dart side of the moon has also closed out the 20s through the 15s.
01:19:28They have no bulls.
01:19:29But they are ahead with 239 points.
01:19:32Dart side of the moon needs three bulls.
01:19:33The Gallium Brothers, too, to win the game and the match.
01:20:02Hey.
01:20:04Hank, look at me.
01:20:12so sorry oh my god i cannot stop thinking about how much a statue of liberty looks like elvis
01:20:20hey there's no pressure man we've already won
01:20:54that does not look good it's not good at all
01:21:03it's virtually impossible the dart is covering almost the entire double ball which is what he
01:21:08needs to win this shot was only made once and that was by the greatest player to ever throw a
01:21:17dart
01:21:21so
01:21:28Oh
01:21:52They are the new darts champions of the world. We actually caught the darts in all my years
01:21:58I've never seen that this may be the greatest day in the history of this beautiful sport
01:22:04We did it bro. We did it. No, she won believable. No, that shot was unbelievable, and we saved the
01:22:11bar
01:22:12Wait, what are you talking about? Oh, dude, if we did one hundred thousand dollars, we could have lost the
01:22:17place
01:22:17Seriously, yeah, the apartment too. When were you gonna tell me?
01:22:22What the mother of Christ happened? I told you they'd never forget your names after tonight
01:22:29Is that why you had us play in our underwear so we'd be
01:22:33Ready for this? No, that had nothing to do with anything. I just thought that was funny
01:22:37Is Alistar Whitman really your dad or is that some bullshit to you? Hey, does it matter?
01:22:42Oh
01:22:47Hey
01:22:48That was for you, weirdo mittens
01:22:50Ugh
01:22:50Who knew darts could be so exciting?
01:22:52It's surprising, right?
01:22:53Yeah, you're gonna have to show me how to play later
01:22:56Gentlemen, I uh...
01:22:58What the fuck do you want?
01:22:59I think we know what I want
01:23:02thank you for what for everything i couldn't have done it without you
01:23:10hey i was wondering do you think you and i could sometime would you be interested good lord hey
01:23:20why do you think i have a little dart section in my otherwise beautiful shop yes yes i would
01:23:28love to go out with you
01:23:47huh so you're still saying it was hank's fake vagina
01:23:54bugger roll hey i'm i'm gloating here man is this some kind of a fucking joke
01:23:58what you're a fucking queer hey you got a problem with him then you can you know it's all good
01:24:02man i got this listen man i just learned yeah yeah yeah whatever look all i wanted to say
01:24:07was i'm a queer too but up until now i was the only one playing championship dots you know
01:24:12what i mean welcome to the fucking game mate your lads played well and we won a fucking
01:24:17rematch
01:24:17i also did not see that coming
01:24:29hey now
01:24:30hey now where you're going
01:24:32you're going in we got lots to say
01:24:36right now
01:24:38the winds are blowing
01:24:40we'll celebrate you here with me
01:24:44hey now
01:24:45the songs are playing
01:24:48let the music just let it be
01:24:56yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right
01:25:00virgil everybody thank you so much virgil for that wonderful rendition of darling mickey
01:25:07yeah britz was a good friend of mine the original title of that yes he was yes he was thank
01:25:13thank you virgil another round for virgil
01:25:21um
01:25:27never did this before but uh it was the first time for everything right so
01:25:32i was a losing his lost cards you were misled by what you saw but there we were tempted by
01:26:02and a half empty blender
01:26:06so we tried to get you the sun came up told me that you only hung around to see
01:26:12if we could make it a night to remember
01:26:20you said watch me now boy i'm gonna make it rain
01:26:24i said baby do you really wanna go there
01:26:27you said watch me now boy i'm gonna go insane
01:26:30you said watch me now boy i'm gonna go insane
01:26:31if you watch me if i really wanna go there
01:26:34you waited in your running car
01:26:38so patiently outside the bar
01:26:42dark born angels saving me from some bad decisions
01:26:48then you drove us to a parking lot
01:26:51somewhere out of the sticks
01:26:53to make some backseat memories
01:26:56history with no need of revision
01:27:02you said watch me now
01:27:04you said watch me now boy i'm gonna make it rain
01:27:06i said baby do you really wanna go there
01:27:09you said watch it now boy i'm gonna go insane
01:27:13if you ask me if i really wanna go there
01:27:16if you ask me if i really wanna go there
01:27:36you said watch me now boy
01:27:37you said watch me now boy
01:27:50I'm going to make it rain.
01:27:52I said, baby, do you really want to go there?
01:27:55You said, watch it now, boy, I'm going to go insane.
01:27:59If you ask me if I really want to go there, you said, watch me now, boy, I'm going to
01:28:05make it rain.
01:28:06I said, baby, do you really want to go there?
01:28:10You said, watch it now, boy, I'm going to go insane.
01:28:13If you ask me if I really want to go there, you said, watch me now, boy, I'm going to
01:28:19make it rain.
01:28:20I said, baby, do you really want to go there?
01:28:24You said, watch it now, boy, I'm going to go and stay.
01:28:27If you ask me if I really want to go there.
01:28:31If you ask me if I really want to go there.
01:28:34If you ask me if I really want to go there.
01:28:54If you ask me if I really want to go there.
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