00:04Sarah Alex you were victorious in series 11 I was Morgana you won series 12 yes you
00:12won series 13 of taskmas I did I'm lucky for Sam it's the champion of series 14
00:22oh you didn't win series 15 why are you here for being a champion May Martin was the champion
00:29I was a people's champion all right star in the best chase sequence Alex will
00:39chase you you have ten minutes your time starts now
00:47get your trophy
01:01so
01:09so
01:16oh
01:32hello thank you I'm Greg Davis welcome to the champion of champions
01:45tonight is a special night indeed for this ladies and gentlemen is our 150th episode
01:54and what better way to celebrate this landmark than bring together the best of the best each of
02:00these champions have already owned the competition to etch themselves into history by winning a
02:06previous series and also one of them is here just because the champion was busy
02:31a man who confided in me following our Christmas drinks at the first time he achieved an erection was
02:36whilst watching Ross Kemp play Grant Mitchell in a particularly tent scene with his on-screen brother Phil
02:44Phil
02:44Philip Lennon Kahn
02:51and the 150th episode are you buzzed well I'm buzzed we've we've beaten them we've got past fresh Prince of
02:57Bel-Air they only did 148
02:58Christ that must be a slap in the face to Will Smith
03:07and that's why I've got you this just to show you what you mean to me a little locket for
03:11the 150th episode you can open it up little gifts
03:14some of my hair some of my tears and a tracking device
03:19okay good what's the prize task category for this almighty competition young fellow my lad if you must know it's
03:25this the best thing that you would wish for if you had one wish from a genie
03:29oh something we've all wondered hypothetically but in my case it genuinely happened and I now own an air fryer
03:37right let's begin in series order Sarah Kendall what did you bring us in what wish
03:43well um I've always thought um that I would quite like to beat the shit out of someone
03:49yeah
03:49and so I have wished for a black belt
03:52the black belt in karate
03:55okay this just feels like a thing you genuinely like to do with a bit of spare time Sarah you
03:59need to talk it up in some way
04:00it takes years it takes like a decade to get a black belt
04:04that's why I've asked a genie because I can't commit to anything and I have no discipline so
04:08I've got bad news for you the genie's bored
04:10I hate you so much
04:14I'm so sick of trying to make you happy
04:17thanks Sarah
04:18look on that
04:19right so
04:21just you know it's good
04:22it's not
04:23no try
04:23isn't it
04:24it's not
04:26so I'm you know there you are
04:28here I am
04:29shopping
04:30yeah
04:30ASOS package
04:32dog
04:32phone
04:33it's too much
04:34it's too much
04:35what we need is a spare pair of hands
04:37so like I've got the shopping I've got the umbrella
04:39yeah
04:39you order Uber
04:41right
04:41imagine the mornings you know you're like the admin
04:43so quick
04:45what do you mean a spare pair of hands
04:46a spare pair of hands
04:47on me
04:48oh
04:50detachment
04:51sorry I'm just texting can you make the toast yeah sure
04:54I mean I don't mind that I quite like the idea of yeah I like it
04:58hello Sophie
04:58I think the reason that we're all here today is because we want love
05:02we all want the love that Greg and Alex have
05:06and that is why I would wish for the taskmaster couples cosplay kit
05:14nearly
05:22I'm pixelated because I'm not wearing any pants presumably
05:24that's the task member
05:26okay
05:28it comes with a pixelated toast
05:30if you close your eyes a bit you can really make out the shape of your cock though
05:33if you just
05:34all right good thank you
05:38all right Dara
05:39the task was what would you wish for from a genie
05:42it has to be something that would change your life in a very fundamental way
05:45that you don't have
05:46and
05:47it's pretty obvious what I don't have
05:49so I wished for hair
05:53hair is Dara's prize
06:13what I'm muffled by Dara is of all the wigs you could have chosen
06:16why did you choose the wig of a 65 year old woman
06:22it's got a little pink rinse on it there isn't it
06:24that's just the light of the wine dancing across my hair
06:28but also it should be pointed out that is very much in the public
06:31there's a photograph of me with some people we literally said
06:33do you wonder if I just step in here for 30 seconds
06:35and went ha ha ha ha ha
06:36they took a photograph and walked away
06:39you've put the effort in I'll give you that
06:41Kyle
06:42Greg you're a pretty successful guy
06:43I think people want what you have
06:45and that is someone to do things for them
06:48so
06:49I wish for an assistant
06:53and I've also got it in real life
06:55so the
06:57there it is
06:59all the instructions are on the top
07:02it's all the information
07:03yeah
07:04Thank you
07:09he's very good
07:10he's having a little puppet
07:11was made by may martin's dad
07:14awww
07:15stop it
07:16my wig is made from may martin's mother's hair
07:21okay let's go
07:23one point to Sarah
07:24two to Duka
07:25put himself through hell
07:27that's why I think it's quite funny to have given him three points
07:30LAUGHTER
07:32Most people will never be able to afford a little assistant,
07:35and I think everyone would like that, four points, and Morgana.
07:38Who wouldn't want some hands growing out of their sides?
07:41Five points. There we go, five points.
07:43All right, let's see them flexing their big series champion muscles.
07:52Growl. And for this one,
07:54we've gone back to our favourite bandstand for din-dins.
08:00MUSIC
08:09Come on. This way.
08:12Are you going to propose to me? I don't think I will.
08:15OK. All right, OK.
08:17So if you could sit on a little stool, that'd be lovely.
08:18Yeah, OK. It does spin. Yep.
08:21OK, I'm just going to leave you for a second, Dara.
08:22LAUGHTER
08:25LAUGHTER
08:29Uh...
08:30LAUGHTER
08:31LAUGHTER
08:33Oh!
08:34Oh!
08:38Be the best waiter.
08:40You must serve Alex all his food, drink and cutlery
08:43as it is currently set.
08:45If you drop or spill any items,
08:47you must clap for a full minute,
08:49or else you will be disqualified.
08:52All right, no running. No running.
08:54Fastest wins.
08:56The time starts now.
09:00Where the fuck's Alex?
09:04APPLAUSE
09:07So it's obviously a mystery to unfold as to where the fuck Alex is.
09:11I just wanted to make it clear now.
09:14If you clap for less than a minute, you're immediately disqualified.
09:17Blimey, Greg. OK.
09:18I'm sorry to be serious...
09:19LAUGHTER
09:20..but I'm getting a little bit sick of people
09:22getting on social media and giving me grief.
09:26LAUGHTER
09:26OK, let's crack on.
09:28First to serve the servant are Morgana and Dara.
09:33Is that Alex there?
09:35That's Alex, isn't it?
09:36Only he would wear a hat like that.
09:40LAUGHTER
09:40All right, I'm just going for this.
09:41I'll work out a plan for the rest of it.
09:46Alex!
09:47Excuse me, sir.
09:50Oh, for fuck's sake!
09:53LAUGHTER
09:57It's the wrong one.
09:58Dandy.
10:00For God's sake.
10:01Oh!
10:05APPLAUSE
10:09I either had some other houses.
10:12Is that Alex?
10:18I reckon that's a minute.
10:20OK, I'm going to rethink this.
10:22Can I borrow your hat?
10:24Up a thing?
10:26Down a thing?
10:26Is it up a tree?
10:28Is it by the river?
10:29Do you want to have just buried him a mile away?
10:31Where the fuck is Alex?
10:36Here's your last.
10:37Is Alex gone?
10:40I'm going to call him.
10:42Can you call Alex and ask where he...
10:46So...
10:46Morning, Morgana.
10:47Would you like your five-star breakfast?
10:49Yes, please.
10:50Where is Alex?
10:52Where is he?
10:58Morning, Dara.
10:59Hi.
10:59How are you?
11:00I've kind of forgotten what I'm supposed to be.
11:02LAUGHTER
11:06APPLAUSE
11:08That was here.
11:09And that goes here.
11:11They're all there, are they?
11:12They're all there.
11:13This is way longer than a minute.
11:15Oh, very clever.
11:19It is a very blowy day.
11:22Can I have a sip of this?
11:24Can't remember what the rules are.
11:36Well...
11:37APPLAUSE
11:37Do you want me to stop the clock?
11:40Yes, please.
11:41Do you want me to stop the clock?
11:41Do you want to stop the clock?
11:41Did I stop the clock?
11:42Yeah, right now.
11:43Ah!
11:44Oh, now you have to clap for a minute.
11:46I don't.
11:52Well, I didn't expect my hard ruling to tragically play out so soon.
11:59We did provide a little timer.
12:00As if you would trust an egg timer that you guys gave us.
12:05Was it a minute long, that timer?
12:06No, it was a two-minute timer.
12:07It was a two-minute timer.
12:08Thank you very much.
12:09Dara, I've always hoped that the rumours about waiters
12:12spitting in people's food and drinks is made up,
12:15but apparently that's true, is it?
12:17Honestly, if you have to carry a drink which is very full,
12:19you can use your mouth as a pouch.
12:23As a pouch?
12:24As a pouch.
12:25And when I depouched, I made sure it was behind a pillar
12:28so he couldn't see the depouching of her.
12:30It wasn't until I saw the footage back.
12:35Now, here's Sarah's attempt.
12:39Oh.
12:41Oh.
12:51All right.
12:53Off.
13:11Oh, for fuck's sake.
13:13No!
13:16Yes.
13:18Yeah, that's not Alex.
13:19Those hands aren't Alex's.
13:21Shit.
13:22Alex!
13:23Alex!
13:27Oh.
13:29Hi, Alex.
13:30Just the way you like.
13:32Oh!
13:34So, what?
13:35Why is there a dog in the restaurant?
13:36Oh!
13:39It's not how they normally serve it here.
13:41They're really sticky from the egg.
13:43Is there a better way to do this?
13:46Oh!
13:47No!
13:50No!
13:51No!
13:53No!
13:54No!
13:54No!
13:55Oh, dear.
13:56Oh, here comes the rain.
13:58Setting end, isn't it?
13:59OK, well, um...
14:00Want me to stop the clock?
14:02Yes.
14:03I'm going to eat my breakfast now.
14:04You can take cover.
14:05Bye-bye.
14:06Goodbye.
14:07Goodbye.
14:13Best waiter is difficult to define, but...
14:16I guess I don't want my waiter to throw all of my food into a bag.
14:22Humble over like a lost vagrant.
14:25LAUGHTER
14:26She definitely clapped enough.
14:28That's something.
14:28But I...
14:29I did...
14:29This task went for so long that Alex actually said,
14:32Sarah, you might want to move along.
14:33We've got quite a few tasks to film today.
14:36LAUGHTER
14:37OK, good.
14:38Time for a break.
14:39It's around this time that your New Year's diet plan normally crashes,
14:43doesn't it?
14:44Just accept it.
14:45You're never going to change.
14:46Toss a tube of Pringles down your gullet
14:48like the weak-willed human pelicans you all are.
14:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:00Hello!
15:02Welcome back to our third Champion of Champions special.
15:06We are currently in the middle of a task which sees them all trying to find me
15:09and deliver me a meal as it was presented to them in the bandstand.
15:12Only two people left.
15:14One is Series 13 champion, Sophie Duker,
15:16and the other is the guy who played Mike Cooper in Ghosts.
15:19OK.
15:19Kael...
15:21..smiss...
15:21..fight now.
15:23I can decant.
15:26I don't want to do that.
15:28LAUGHTER
15:29OK.
15:30And it's been for absolutely nothing.
15:33Right, let's go.
15:34Who's Alex?
15:36I'm not going to run.
15:38I'm going to skip.
15:39So screw all of you and your horrible rules.
15:43Oh, come on!
15:49Yes.
16:08Let's go.
16:16Just let yourself vote,
16:17yes.
16:18Yes.
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