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Taskmaster - S18E04 - Im a Girl Who Likes a Clean Line [Full Movie] [Full Episodes]Full EP - Full
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00:16I
00:16Mean you're useless
00:34The answer to the question where can I say an overweight but dashing man get a feckless weasel with a
00:41wonky tooth to torture his peer group for pointless tasks
00:44Channel 4 that's where silly let's meet them now
01:03I
01:03Next to me a man who says that he loves to holiday in Wales because it is so beautiful
01:09But longs for the day when its people are driven into the sea
01:22Hello, Greg
01:24I've got your present. Thank you. Do you like cars?
01:27Do I get do you yes? Good. Oh, do you like Greg Davis?
01:33Barely stop looking in the mirror
01:35Well, I think you'll like genuine personalized number plates
01:47First size I'm a plate for Greg Davis does it say Gary Davis
01:57Surprised us today this time they've brought in the thing most likely to make you say war Christ now that
02:05is butter
02:10Badass
02:11Yes, sure we've all probably said badass and sure we've all probably had badass, but Greg wants to see something
02:17That makes him say it like he means it and that will result in five really really big points you
02:23Emma City. Yes. How are you gonna make me say now that is badass?
02:27This is something that I own
02:31It's very precious to me, and I think it speaks for itself
02:35React to this Greg. Okay. I know what I've got to say if it doesn't elicit the response here we
02:41go
02:41I
02:43I
02:50Nothing
02:53Now that is badass
02:54I
02:56Hate it. I find it religiously insensitive. Yes
03:01I think God and Jesus would love that
03:13Think any of the big three would like that
03:15I think it's horrible. Yeah, you should be ashamed
03:22Yo, are you gonna make me say why this is badass 100%? Well, how's your footwear nowadays bro?
03:28You've got your sock game on on lock. I won't lie. Yeah, I got something that better than these shoes
03:34100% way better than your shoes
03:40He's gonna get you these shoes Greg. All right
03:43Nike Air Force One let me tell you something. Yeah, so now when you come to like the ends, right?
03:49You wear white air forces when I come to the ends the ends bro watch top boy, bruv, okay?
03:57There's a lot of work for me to do before I can say these are badass
04:02All you need to do is just rock up with a pair of white air forces, but this is the
04:05thing you can't just rock up with a pair
04:07Air forces, right? You've got a laugh, but the laugh has to be smooth. You've got to be like
04:15What situations am I gonna do this in brother?
04:18I'm just trying to inject some youth into you. You're the one that's turned like what did you say like
04:2175?
04:22It feels like
04:24Feels like it, but I don't know whether I'm gonna feel more useful if I go into any situation and
04:29go
04:31With a pair of white trainers. I'm not gonna lie, that laugh was good though
04:35Yeah, and it felt good
04:36Hello, Rosie
04:37Oh, yeah
04:38What have you brought in?
04:39So I brought in something and then I've also brought in a promise
04:48Mmm
04:49Ooh
04:50Ooh
04:51Let's dance
04:53Well, there's nothing more bad at that than a tattoo
04:59I got two, one, two
05:02And I got a third one
05:05Here
05:06Yes
05:08LAUGHTER
05:11APPLAUSE
05:12And I've seen you've heard of it
05:14Wow, that's quite badass
05:16So, the promise is if you don't award me quite highly
05:27Yeah
05:28I'll do it again
05:30LAUGHTER
05:30LAUGHTER
05:34APPLAUSE
05:34Good. Thank you, AC.
05:36Jack. Yeah.
05:38Are you badass? I'm unpopular in the world of hip-hop and rap,
05:42and so I borrowed something from a rapper, a friend of mine,
05:46and he sent me one of his outfits, and he's pretty famous as well, so I...
05:52You draft it up? No, he's... I'll give you the name, he's called TK Maxx.
05:57LAUGHTER
05:59I know that guy. Yeah.
06:00And he just said, whatever you need, I'm sending it to you.
06:03Greg, is this badass?
06:05LAUGHTER
06:08Er, no.
06:10LAUGHTER
06:10That would be the outfit I would wear if I was unloading an angel
06:15from the back of a van.
06:17LAUGHTER
06:19Anyway, it's your choice.
06:21I've made my choice.
06:23It is not badass.
06:24Yeah.
06:25Only Andy Zaltzman can save us.
06:28Those are dangerous words, Greg.
06:29Well, I thought, you know, what would make you say badass,
06:32or I made you a work of art?
06:34Let's reveal Andy's work of art. Here we go.
06:37LAUGHTER
06:38LAUGHTER
06:41APPLAUSE
06:44Now, that is a badass.
06:46Also, I mean, let's look at the quality of the painting.
06:50LAUGHTER
06:50That's...
06:51That's bad, isn't it?
06:52Oh, it's just that bad.
06:54It's a badass.
06:55Yeah.
06:55And it's badass.
06:57Yes.
06:57See, Emma, how this works?
06:59LAUGHTER
07:00Go back and see that cherub, cos after all this,
07:03you're going to be like, well, my God.
07:05Stick the cherub back up for us.
07:06OK, here is the badass cherub.
07:08LAUGHTER
07:08Yeah.
07:10LAUGHTER
07:12Shit.
07:14LAUGHTER
07:15Which one would make you say badass least?
07:17It's between Jack's awful moving outfit
07:20and Emma's badass angel.
07:22Shall I be really nice and give them both two?
07:24A pair of trainers as well in that mix?
07:25Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:27Let him make his decision.
07:30He's right, though.
07:31No, he's not right.
07:32He is right.
07:33What are you doing?
07:34Well picked up on.
07:35I'll give two points to all of those people
07:36and then we'll jump up.
07:37I think we've got to reward Zaltzman.
07:39He created the correct ass for the situation.
07:43I'm going to give him five points
07:44and I'll give this murderer a four.
07:45LAUGHTER
07:46Two, two, two.
07:48Well done.
07:48APPLAUSE
07:50Right, let's get going.
07:52OK.
07:53Let's take things to the next level.
08:05MUSIC PLAYS
08:10Hi, Alex.
08:12Annie!
08:13It's gold this time.
08:16It's a nice, nice little touch.
08:18Ooh.
08:20LAUGHTER
08:20Can I open this as task, probably?
08:24Here we go.
08:26That's what we want.
08:29Not that gold shit.
08:32LAUGHTER
08:33Push...
08:34Push the envelope the furthest.
08:37You have half an hour.
08:39Your time starts now.
08:42I could say some outrageous things,
08:45see if that pushes the envelope.
08:46Get myself cancelled.
08:48Is it a prize?
08:51What?
08:51Is it rude?
08:54Like, boxing the envelope.
08:59What's this pillow for?
09:00What's this supposed to do?
09:01Present my nuts on it to my wife.
09:04LAUGHTER
09:06Have you ever pushed the envelope before?
09:07Yeah.
09:09What did he do?
09:10Um...
09:10I dressed as SpongeBob Squarepants
09:13to a fancy dress party.
09:15And everyone's like,
09:16we don't do that in Guildford.
09:18And I was like, I do.
09:21LAUGHTER
09:21You do that when I come into the room, like,
09:23yay!
09:24Happy Valentine's!
09:25LAUGHTER
09:27Right, I'm going to take the envelope.
09:31Excuse me.
09:34Oh, that's better.
09:35OK.
09:36Two and a half an hour or so.
09:39APPLAUSE
09:43He was surprisingly heavily sexual from three out of five of you.
09:48LAUGHTER
09:48You were asked to push the envelope,
09:50and within seconds,
09:51Jones had compared it to a vagina, I presume.
09:53Of course!
09:57I haven't heard a phrase push the envelope ever.
10:04It could be rude!
10:07What you're saying is,
10:08if you don't understand any phrase in the English language,
10:12you assume it's sexual.
10:13Yeah.
10:14Right, right.
10:15So, like, some people have walked past you and said,
10:18oh, a rolling stone gathers no moss,
10:20and you've gone, tell me about it.
10:21LAUGHTER
10:22LAUGHTER
10:26I think we should.
10:27We're going to begin by watching Emma and Rosie push their envelopes.
10:31Oh, God.
10:32I'm going to push the envelope within myself.
10:40You're going to push the envelope within yourself.
10:42What does that mean?
10:42I'm going to eat the envelope!
10:52I'm going to push the envelope the farthest!
10:57Here I go.
11:06Maybe I can get my own cooking show.
11:14Nigella meets Raymond's.
11:20Orgy!
11:22Yes!
11:23What are you doing?
11:47You're playing!
11:48Taskmaster love hearts
11:50There's actually a letter inside but it's private
11:53There you go, mate
11:55Pushed it
11:56change in bottom
11:59Okay
12:14I must have driven you over yet smoothie
12:20Well, I just hope you give her enough shit for being a smoothie girl as well
12:23She's revealed a true colors there. She loves the smoothie. Looked it down didn't you?
12:32Yeah, they made you turn it into a movie for your own safety
12:35You shouldn't eat an envelope. You also shouldn't drink an envelope
12:42Pushing the envelope
12:43I was pushing the envelope by
12:48Pushing the envelope down my gullet
12:53And ultimately out of your bop-bop
12:55Yeah, yeah
12:56You know what?
12:59You're still a little bit cold
13:06I will say I thought you did great cartwheels
13:09Thank you
13:10And you could still be in the game because I haven't read your letter yet
13:12Oh my god
13:13Letter
13:15I don't know what I said
13:16No one knows what you said because you said it was private
13:18Oh no
13:20I think I was having a weird week
13:26Oh
13:28Well
13:28It is
13:33Polite
13:35It literally says I hope you've had a good week
13:38Oh
13:41OK, who's next?
13:42OK, well next up it's A, B, C, D
13:45Jack D
13:55There's your envelope
14:01How's your day going Jack?
14:02Not as dignified as I thought it would
14:09It didn't work, I wasn't happy with that
14:10It didn't work, I wasn't happy with that
14:53What's your day going Jack?
14:55Mmm
15:01Miss ZufNY
15:04MUSIC CONTINUES
15:19All I've written is that will save BAFTA some money
15:23for your in-memorandum film.
15:28Yeah.
15:30And the sooner they play, the better.
15:32LAUGHTER
15:34Absolutely heartbreaking.
15:36It pushed the envelope, it made me genuinely feel quite emotional.
15:40Yeah.
15:40In total on that day, he pushed the envelope three miles.
15:44LAUGHTER
15:45I would have carried on when the crew caught up with me
15:47and said I had to stop.
15:49Well, the time had run out quite a long time.
15:50About the two-mile mark the time had run out, yeah.
15:53It kept on going.
15:54Oh, nice.
15:56Right, break time.
15:58Let's end on a high with some of Alex's impressions.
16:00It's Alex's Impression Hour.
16:03Ready?
16:03No.
16:04Donald Trump.
16:05Hey, how are you, guys?
16:07I can't do impressions.
16:08Greg Wallace.
16:10You want to eat your dinner?
16:11Camilla Parker Balls.
16:14Good evening, everyone.
16:15See you and the bastards!
16:17LAUGHTER
16:23APPLAUSE
16:27APPLAUSE
16:28Hello there!
16:30Welcome back to Trustmaster, where the competitors are pushing the envelope.
16:34Oh, yes, they could do pretty much anything to impress Greg with this one,
16:38to extend the limits of what's possible.
16:40Or you could just pace about a bit with a letter in a wheelbarrow.
16:43Last up, it's Bubba and Andy.
16:46All right, how do I push this thing?
16:48I could make a bowl out of it.
16:50Look, it's a bowl.
16:52Someone get me milk and cereal.
16:54Are you talking to me?
16:56Yes.
17:01Right, you little paper monstrosity.
17:03Where is it?
17:04You pathetic little failed origami pigeon.
17:06I wouldn't lick you if you were the last envelope on Earth.
17:09Where is it?
17:10Tell me where it is!
17:12How do you make cereal?
17:13Do you put the milk...
17:13You look like you put the milk in first, don't you?
17:15Always milk first.
17:16How very dare you?
17:18Who does that?
17:21Wanna talk now, my slightly crumpled friend?
17:27Answer the question!
17:28Answer the question!
17:30Answer the question!
17:32I ain't gonna eat this.
17:33I think you should eat a little bit.
17:35Nah, my guy, I don't drink cow's milk.
17:37If I drink this, you'll hear me in the toilet going, moo!
17:41You know what I'm saying?
17:41I'll really be chewing up that toilet.
17:44Maybe this will make you talk.
17:46Eh?
17:47You wanna be next?
17:48Tell me what you know.
17:50Well, God help me.
17:50I will shred you!
17:51I will shred you!
17:52I will shred you!
17:54Last chance.
17:55I know you wanna tell me.
17:56Talk.
17:59I knew it.
18:00I did it.
18:01I stole the life cast of Alex Horne.
18:03I shrank it, and I hid it in a wooden box under a cow.
18:07I knew you'd break eventually.
18:09Here comes the aeroplane!
18:10Yeah!
18:14Nice of it!
18:15Nice of it!
18:16Right.
18:21There it is.
18:23It's like he's been working out.
18:25Mystery solved.
18:26I'll push that envelope good and proper.
18:32Andy, very creative.
18:35Genuinely disturbing.
18:37Thanks.
18:38I just think this show is just revealing you to be just not the person everyone thought you were.
18:44It's just not the person I thought I was, to be honest.
18:47From episode to episode, you're getting more and more terrified.
18:52That's very good, Andy.
18:53And quite the contrast, jumping from that to Baba feeding cereal into your stupid face from an envelope.
19:02Can I just say something?
19:03I pushed the envelope to its limits.
19:05I made it into a bowl.
19:08I mean, it doesn't matter how emphatically you taste it.
19:13Do you scream nice, innit, into the face of your young children when you're feeding them?
19:17LAUGHTER
19:21LAUGHTER
19:23I do as well.
19:27LAUGHTER
19:27APPLAUSE
19:29OK, but who pushed it the least far? Who pushed it the furthest?
19:33I feel like I'm... Do you feel like a bit picked on today?
19:35I am.
19:36I can't think how I'm going to not put you last when you did three cartwheels and then wrote me
19:40a letter asking how I was.
19:42LAUGHTER
19:44So it's one to Emma.
19:46Baba, two points.
19:47Two to you, Baba.
19:47Hmm.
19:48OK, I'm going to give Rosie three points.
19:50He won for a walk!
19:54He walked three miles and his heart's not up to it.
19:59Three to Rosie.
20:00I'm going to be led by emotion.
20:01And the one that moved me the most emotionally was Jack, pushing an envelope three miles.
20:07So four points to Andy, five points.
20:09APPLAUSE
20:13Hey, hmm, let's have a scoreboard.
20:15All right, well, the team of two, Jack and Rosie, are in joint.
20:17Second with seven points.
20:19But in the lead, it's Andy Zaltzman with nine points.
20:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:25What's next, please, Horne?
20:27Well, we're off to a scare maze.
20:29MUSIC PLAYS
20:55Hiya!
20:57LAUGHTER
21:04Hey, you look nice. Yes, bro. Come on man. Look at that outfit, bro. I'll make this look good. I'm
21:09not gonna lie to you, bro
21:10I know I'm the hottest hot dog you've ever seen in your life. I agree with you're still talking. Yeah,
21:14come on
21:15So whatever you're doing this task will be worth twice the number of points for you. See you in a
21:19minute
21:24Bye
21:29BELL RINGS
21:30Take a bite out of Alex's carrot. Alex's carrot, is that a euphemism? Is that an actual carrot?
21:38Alex will ring his bell every 10 seconds. You must laugh constantly throughout. No problem
21:49You must both only walk at a gentle pace. No problem
22:06The fastest wins
22:06Fastest wins
22:07The fastest wins
22:08The fastest wins
22:08The time starts now
22:35The fastest wins
22:36The second wins
22:36You actually did look quite good in the whole time
22:37You actually did look quite good in the hot dog
22:37That's what, come on bro. This is what I'm saying bro
22:40You should have brought it instead of the trainers
22:44We're gonna start with a happy Jack and a rambling Rosie
23:24Oh
23:25You're not Alex
23:34That's wrong
23:46Oh
24:21Ha! Ha! Ha!
24:25Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
24:53Yeah
24:53Alex yes, yeah
24:59Well another way out, I would see you outside. Goodbye
25:05Oh, dear, yeah, Larry!
25:12Well, an absolute vision of hell in many ways,
25:15watching both of you go through that.
25:17Dystopian nightmare made so much worse
25:20by me realising for the first time
25:22that Rosie Jones has got Daddy written across her back.
25:27Of course I did!
25:29I felt she was relentless.
25:31Well, she was. Got me in 3 minutes 49.
25:33Oh, wow.
25:34Jack has the best laugh-to-carrot noise
25:37that I think we'll see tonight.
25:39He went...
25:423 minutes 26 for Jack. It was a pretty...
25:45Oh. Pretty close race.
25:46Just over three minutes. Mm-hm. Lovely.
25:48Now it's time to get giddy with Emma City.
25:51Uh-oh.
25:52Ha-ha-ha...
25:54Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
25:56Ha-ha-ha-ha...
25:58Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:01Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:02Ha-ha-ha...
26:04Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:08Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:11Alex! It's a doppelganger!
26:17Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:19Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:21Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:32Aw...
26:35Oh
26:57Swapping bells you bastards
27:03Ha ha ha
27:20Hello Emma
27:22Really infuriating that
27:24That other bloke
27:27Other bloke
27:28No, I'm not doing that
27:30No
27:31Blinder
27:32Bye bye
27:36I wish more people would shut him down like that
27:40No, I'm not doing that
27:41It works a treat
27:43I've clearly had enough, which really worries me
27:46How long was that?
27:47It felt like a long time
27:48And I felt like you went from someone doing
27:50Quite a fun comedy laugh
27:52To someone who could kill
27:56And the tipping point for me was this
27:58Ha ha ha ha
28:01All three of you walked 300 metres
28:03They took three minutes
28:04You took eight minutes
28:05Could have been longer
28:06I could have kept that going for hours
28:08There was no way you were going to catch me
28:14Because
28:15Because she was going too slow
28:16We will have fun
28:18Ha ha ha ha ha
28:20OK, time for another break
28:22Hopefully there will be an overseas advert
28:23That has been badly dubbed in English
28:25So that the company can save money
28:27Followed quickly I hope
28:29By a nuclear apocalypse
28:30It's what we deserve
28:32It's genuinely my birthday
28:48Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster
28:51Where the bellend's got a bell
28:53And he won't stop ringing it
28:56I suppose that's true
28:57Just two people to go
28:58And one of them's dressed as a hot dog
29:00It's Andy Zaltzman and playing for double points
29:02It's Babaton Day
29:02Alesha
29:05Ha ha ha ha
29:08Ha ha ha ha
29:10Ha ha ha ha
29:12Ha ha ha ha ha
29:13Ha ha ha ha ha
29:17Ha ha ha ha ha
29:19Ha ha ha ha ha ha
29:31I got you! Yes, I got your talent, bruh.
29:33I'll try it, bruh.
29:35Yeah! I'm the Man.
29:38I won, right?
30:02BUZZER
30:05BUZZER
30:06BUZZER
30:07BUZZER
30:08BUZZER
30:08BUZZER
30:09BUZZER
30:10BUZZER
30:10BUZZER
30:11I did it in 35 seconds, so...
30:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:15Ten points!
30:17Still in.
30:18So, Andy, you get four points, but Baba, you get ten points.
30:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:24One more task proper, please, small boy.
30:29I'm the man, sure thing.
30:31Ding-a-ling.
30:31Get ready to check out my versatile new jacket.
30:49BUZZER
30:51Can I help?
30:53No.
30:53I'm on a... I'm on a turntable, Jack.
30:55Mm-hm.
30:56Spinning round.
30:59LAUGHTER
30:59Not really, though, are you?
31:01You're turning round.
31:04Oh, look.
31:05Mm-hm.
31:06Feels a bit personal.
31:08Whoo!
31:09Pick the Taskmaster's locket from its pocket.
31:12Every time you pick an incorrect pocket,
31:15you must high-five Alex.
31:17If you touch, temper with or peek into a pocket,
31:20you must pick it.
31:26You have a maximum of 15 minutes, your time starts now.
31:31May I touch you?
31:35LAUGHTER
31:38Why are you spinning?
31:39It's just the setting.
31:43It's just the setting.
31:45Just wind up.
31:49Have you got a moment just to, er, replay what I think might be the creepiest moment in Taskmaster history?
31:59Yeah, I think I know what you mean.
32:00Here it is.
32:01May I touch...
32:0718 series and I've never felt a shudder like it.
32:11LAUGHTER
32:11LAUGHTER
32:12What is wrong with that?
32:15It's about consent.
32:18Yeah!
32:19It is about consent.
32:22Thank you!
32:26First to locate the locket, it's Jack and Bubba.
32:30OK, so I'm thinking there's going to be a...
32:33some sort of locket in one of those pockets.
32:36Mm-hm.
32:36Yeah, yeah.
32:36Yeah.
32:38Is that the locket?
32:40No, it's lipstick.
32:41Do I put it there?
32:41Yeah, I'll put it here.
32:42What's this?
32:43Chinese Five Spice.
32:45Chinese Five Spice.
32:47There's nothing in there other than that.
32:52It's a bloody raisin.
32:54OK, stop.
32:57Pow!
32:57Found the locket yet?
32:58No, that's a dog biscuit.
33:00OK.
33:01What's in here?
33:01Nope.
33:02It's the bloody locket.
33:04Pow!
33:08You take a lot of stuff around with you, don't you?
33:11Yep.
33:11109 pockets.
33:13I can see.
33:13Another locket.
33:14Pick up yourself.
33:16No, that's... that's nothing else.
33:18That's just a bag of...
33:20That's my bag of yellow, yeah.
33:21Bag of yellow.
33:22Mm-hm.
33:23Fair enough.
33:26Pick up yourself.
33:29Don't trust sound people or make-up artists.
33:33Mm-hm.
33:34That's a bit bad, isn't it?
33:35I trust sound people or make-up artists.
33:37Why wouldn't you?
33:38You shouldn't.
33:39Yeah, good advice, thank you.
33:40Mm-hm.
33:41But not what we're after.
33:42Right.
33:43Keys!
33:44What do I open this with?
33:46Ah, this might be it.
33:48No, it's a compass.
33:49It's a compass with my name on it.
33:51Babatunde.
33:52Hey, it says my name on it.
33:53Come on.
33:53There's a picture of me.
33:55Yeah.
33:55Nice.
33:56I've just got a couple of things with your names on it.
33:58That's very thoughtful.
34:00All my days with this stupid-ass rocket, mate.
34:03Getting on my nerves.
34:05Stone with Y written on it.
34:06Ah.
34:07Things are starting to annoy me.
34:09The rockets?
34:09Too many of them.
34:10Why have you got milk?
34:11Thirsty.
34:12Yuck!
34:13That's an I.
34:14Mm-hm.
34:15So...
34:16Yeah.
34:17Hey!
34:19Pick the locket from the pocket.
34:22That's a padlock.
34:23Oh, for goodness sakes.
34:24A man ain't one.
34:25What the hell?
34:26Five and a half minutes left.
34:28I find this locket.
34:29Oh, the pebble.
34:30So it spells you.
34:31Right.
34:32I don't think that's got any relevance.
34:34Right.
34:34Okay.
34:35I found the other eye, though.
34:37Ah!
34:37There you go.
34:42The locket is in your pocket.
34:44The locket is in your pocket.
34:46No, it ain't.
34:46I'm gonna lock it in my pocket.
34:57Yeah.
34:58How do you do that?
34:59You're, like, David Copperfield now, are you?
35:02And there's a piece of hair in there as well.
35:04You've got my own hair.
35:04That's...
35:05That's...
35:05Okay.
35:06Well, I should treasure that.
35:12I mean, these of you thought there might be a faster way of doing this.
35:16Just went route one.
35:17How are we supposed to know that there was a locket in our pocket?
35:20I realised after this because someone took my jacket to do something and I should've...
35:24Yeah.
35:25You know, trustingly, I said, yeah, of course, thank you.
35:27I thanked them.
35:28I thanked them.
35:30Do you want to know how many pockets they picked?
35:31Yes, please.
35:32Baba Tunde, 41 incorrect pockets.
35:35Jack, 70.
35:38Would you like to see Rosie Jones' Locket Adventure?
35:41Let's go.
35:41Rosie Jones.
35:42I don't think it's in this, cos that would be obvious.
35:53Who can I pick that one?
35:58Don't trust sound people or make-up artists.
36:06Well, you don't need to tell me that.
36:10I think all pieces of shit is in your pocket.
36:18You said no, but I don't trust you.
36:32You guys want it?
36:34Yeah.
36:34Right.
36:40Oh, is it on me?
36:45Oh, my God.
36:50You sneaky bugger.
36:56Well done, Rosie.
36:58Don't trust anyone.
37:01I did wrong.
37:07I'm just going to make it clear that when Rosie was told
37:11not to trust sound and lighting people, she said, and I quote,
37:14You don't need to tell me that.
37:16They're all pieces of shit.
37:21I mean it!
37:23Yes!
37:25And you then went on to blatantly steal money from a sound man's wife.
37:31Yes!
37:32Neil was lying to me.
37:36The least they could do was robbing.
37:43He wasn't lying to you.
37:45It was fast, surely.
37:46Well, it's all about the number of pockets picked.
37:48Yes.
37:48Five of Neil's, five of her own, three of mine, so 13 in total.
37:5213 in total.
37:5213 in total.
37:55We're stopping again.
37:56One part left to go, and at the end of it,
37:58someone will stroll proudly out of the studio,
38:01carrying a sculpture of a cherub wearing sunglasses
38:04and a painting of a banged-up donkey.
38:06This isn't the cheese dream.
38:08We're all being paid for this.
38:10LAUGHTER
38:11We'll see you in part four.
38:16APPLAUSE
38:26Welcome back.
38:26It's part four, and Alex has a stupid jacket on.
38:30It's not stupid, actually.
38:31You're stupid.
38:32Lee attractive.
38:34LAUGHTER
38:36Yes, I...
38:37They have to find the locket
38:39by picking the fewest pockets possible.
38:41Two left.
38:41It's Andy and Emma.
38:44OK, I'm just going to take a second.
38:49The Taskmaster's locket.
38:51Doesn't necessarily...
38:51It's one of your pockets, though, is it?
38:53Are there clues in your pockets?
38:55All I do is spin round.
38:56OK.
38:58So, there's bits of paper in some of these pockets, by the looks of it.
39:01Are you peeking?
39:02Overviewing.
39:02Peaking is...
39:04That's a specific pocket, I'd say.
39:06All right.
39:14Well, some action.
39:16There's a great big statue of the Taskmaster outside.
39:19Hmm.
39:20Can that count as a locket?
39:21It's not a locket and it wasn't in a pocket, Andy.
39:24OK, I think I'm going to have to pick a pocket.
39:27Excuse me.
39:29So, that appears to be Richard Herring on a red fish.
39:35Half your time gone.
39:39Chinese five spice.
39:40Yeah.
39:41It's the spice for me.
39:43Right, I need an alternative pocket again.
39:45How many minutes have I got left?
39:46Four and a half.
39:46Four and a half.
39:47OK.
39:47I'll use it wisely.
39:50LAUGHTER
39:52You've got three minutes, Andy.
39:57Right.
39:58I found a pineapple and some string.
39:59Was it in a pocket?
40:00Well, not yet, but I could put it in a pocket.
40:03From that one.
40:03Jack, two points for you.
40:05Three to Bubba.
40:06Four to Rosie.
40:06But five to Emma City.
40:08Congratulations.
40:11You.
40:12Let's see the scoreboard.
40:13Yes, please.
40:13Well, I think the hot dog helped.
40:15Bubba's on the top with 17 points.
40:20Well, that's everyone.
40:21Will you please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show?
40:30Who will be losing the task of the final task, Bubba?
40:34OK.
40:36Gather a herd of animals with exactly 22 legs.
40:41You may not harm any animals.
40:44You may only use animals on either side of this wall
40:49and you may not use each other.
40:52On Alex's whistle,
40:54you must hurl one of your herd over the wall.
40:57When your herd has 22 legs,
41:00only then may you don your tutus.
41:03First team in tutus wins.
41:04Each of them have six animals on their bench.
41:08Right.
41:09And that's where the herd lives.
41:10You've got a flamingo with one leg,
41:12a kangaroo with two,
41:13a sick dog with three legs,
41:15Patatas the cat with four legs,
41:17a monster there with...
41:18You've got to throw something every 15 seconds.
41:21That's when I'll blow the whistle.
41:22If you don't do the maths correctly within the 15 seconds
41:25and another animal comes over
41:26and you've missed the tutu opportunity,
41:28it carries on.
41:28Got it.
41:29Good luck.
41:30Right, choose your animals.
41:31We're going for three.
41:32OK, well, maybe don't say it out...
41:37Pick up an animal.
41:38Get ready to throw.
41:39You're going to be throwing on the whistle.
41:40Three, two, one.
41:41BUZZ
41:43Lovely.
41:43Put that on the bench.
41:45That's 22.
41:46That's 22.
41:48BUZZ
41:49BUZZ
41:53BUZZ
41:53Toss complete.
41:54Done.
42:11BUZZ
42:11With the final score.
42:14APPLAUSE
42:18What a glorious anticliminal.
42:22Maybe one of my favourite tasks ever.
42:25It's really made the scoreboard interesting.
42:27Because a team of three gets five points each for that.
42:29The team of two, zero.
42:31Oh!
42:33And the winner is...
42:34BUZZ
42:35BUZZ
42:35With 22 points!
42:36Yes!
42:37Yes!
42:38Yes!
42:39BUZZ
42:40BUZZ
42:40BUZZ
42:42Please, bowl up to brandish your badass belongings!
42:50So, what have we learnt from today's show?
42:53We've learnt that Taskmaster, it's a silly old show, really,
42:56but at times, it has the capacity to move.
42:59The haunting image of Jack Dee strolling heroically into the sunset,
43:04his destination unknown, pushing that envelope,
43:07will forever be etched on all of our minds.
43:11And let's also not forget Baba's nuts on a pillow.
43:16And here he is again tonight, cos he's the winner,
43:19it's Baba Tunde Alessi!
43:20Thank you!
43:21Thank you!
43:30Thank you!
43:41Thank you!
43:43Alan Hatta
43:43Alan Hatta
43:44Alan Hatta
43:47Puppet
43:48Comes
43:49Andeler
43:50You
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