- 4 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:06I just shot Honey Boy 2 with Shia.
00:00:08Smells like an Abercrombie got fucked by a 7-Eleven.
00:00:10Is that milk?
00:00:11I haven't, it's a fancy!
00:00:12You can join the fun.
00:00:14And I've had a threesome with Gary Busey.
00:00:16He left us for dead, and now it's like nothing happened?
00:00:20I'll fucking kill you.
00:00:21Come on, do it.
00:00:23Fuck, butcher.
00:00:24Fuck you!
00:00:25You're just gonna drag us all down with you.
00:00:26Mom!
00:00:27Annie!
00:00:27How old was I when you let Vought pump me full of drugs?
00:00:32They promised that you'd have a chance at an extraordinary life.
00:00:35You told me that Daddy left because he lost all of our savings.
00:00:38Was it really bad investments?
00:00:40Your whole Marlboro Man act is fucking crap.
00:00:43And I'm...
00:00:43Ford Harmony was an army hospital where Frederick Vought was tested for V1.
00:00:47Is any more left out there?
00:00:49That would be the fucking place to look.
00:00:50V1's ten times more potent than today's formula.
00:00:53Only worked on a handful of early soups.
00:00:56You and Stormfront.
00:00:58So we're at Stormfront?
00:00:59Dr. Vought's wife, Clara.
00:01:01I think you know where he's Liberty?
00:01:02We're still gonna go after Homelander, right?
00:01:04No without a virus.
00:01:05You said I was strong enough.
00:01:06You said I was the only one who could stop him.
00:01:08I just said that so you'd get him out of town.
00:01:11My sweet, sweet boy.
00:01:19Homelander?
00:01:22Flank!
00:01:24Cracker.
00:01:27what's that smell oh it might be my new perfume line it's generally secret no that's my father
00:01:36this soldier boy i can smell him all over you right of course because we was just
00:01:44prepping for our interview prepping
00:01:51i need you for something you do
00:01:57i have received the most wonderful message i was visited by an angel
00:02:08and she foretold my destiny well praise be and what is it
00:02:17god
00:02:20sir that is wonderful there is no higher calling than serving the lord
00:02:24no no not serving the lord being the lord
00:02:32i am the messiah
00:02:36i'm the savior of the world
00:02:39the messiah
00:02:42yes
00:02:47congrats
00:02:47i always knew i was special i knew it i suffered i suffered so many hardships and i i couldn't
00:03:01understand
00:03:02why but you you you always saw it didn't you you knew all along i was special
00:03:15that is why i have chosen you to spread the word
00:03:18oh my coming
00:03:23how
00:03:24well we control the most powerful media apparatus on earth
00:03:28jesus would kill for our marketing
00:03:34what do you say
00:03:37well you know i would do anything for you sir
00:03:41thank you
00:03:56oh there he is
00:03:58back from the dead
00:04:01oh easy does it easy
00:04:05yeah
00:04:15this is a bit like that empire strikes back film in it
00:04:18i never saw it
00:04:19what bollocks i showed it to you
00:04:21no you show me star wars and mom never let me watch any of them
00:04:25they're with that guy from regarding henry right
00:04:28yeah
00:04:29anyway
00:04:30here's this bit
00:04:31see
00:04:33young luke
00:04:34ops in his spaceship
00:04:35fucks off to the barney with his old man darth vader
00:04:38cops
00:04:38wait darth vader's luke skywalker's dad
00:04:42yeah
00:04:44it's a bit of a spoiler but anyway listen
00:04:46the point is
00:04:47you should have waited till we got the virus sorted
00:04:49this is a war
00:04:52and you're the best weapon we got
00:04:54but you ain't no use to anyone
00:04:56if you go put yourself into a body bag
00:04:58before we put armor under one
00:05:01at least i was brave enough to try
00:05:02well there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity son
00:05:08you don't give a shit about me
00:05:10maybe you never did
00:05:16yeah
00:05:17i'll fetch you some more water
00:05:26fucking teenagers
00:05:38i was going to
00:05:48welcome back motherfucker
00:05:50grab the moon off
00:06:03oh
00:06:16check you out
00:06:18Thank you, thank you.
00:06:19All right, you twats are all done with Fashion Week.
00:06:21Let's get to work, yeah?
00:06:23Frenchie, how long till we got a dose big enough?
00:06:25No, there was so little virus left.
00:06:28It needs time to multiply.
00:06:29You know what they say, huh?
00:06:31Cook low and slow.
00:06:32How fucking long?
00:06:34Weeks at least.
00:06:35Okay, then we should go to Fort Harmony now.
00:06:37That place got shut down 80 years ago.
00:06:39If there's any V1 left in there, it ain't gonna be easy to find.
00:06:42And there is also the small matter of the likely V-dub beast
00:06:45that spilled those Boy Scouts in odds like a Cadbury a la creme, huh?
00:06:48Do I need to remind you guys that Homelander has Stan Edgar?
00:06:51Odds are they're 10 steps ahead.
00:06:53If we get the V1 first, we save Annie, we save Kimiko, we save you.
00:06:57And if you give a shit, if Homelander gets it, he's immortal.
00:07:01Virus is useless and we're fucked sideways.
00:07:03So who wants to go to Clearfield?
00:07:09Who's gonna take care of Ryan?
00:07:10He's gone. He legged it.
00:07:12I wonder whose fault that is.
00:07:15Well, I wouldn't be throwing stones if I were you, mate.
00:07:17Unless you can tell us we're Starlighters.
00:07:26Right. Let's get cracking.
00:07:42Annie.
00:07:44Dad.
00:07:51Hey, listen, I need to talk to you.
00:07:53All ears.
00:07:55Okay, can you please stop doing that?
00:08:05How did you find me?
00:08:07I've been looking for months.
00:08:08You are really good at hiding.
00:08:10It has been 20 years and that's the first thing that you have to say to me?
00:08:15What should I say?
00:08:16Okay.
00:08:18Dad?
00:08:24Annie, this is your brother, Mason.
00:08:29It's simple, Mr. President.
00:08:32You defund the public schools and give vouchers for the Homelander Freedom Academies.
00:08:36You don't want kids reading about gay penguins and becoming woke jihadis, do you?
00:08:42Thank you, sir.
00:08:46Let me be clear.
00:08:47Nobody summons me.
00:08:49The last time I let a black woman boss me around was Nell Carter.
00:08:52With a cock ring and a tub of Crisco.
00:08:55B.A.
00:08:55Flagged a deal point for your movie.
00:08:57We cannot furnish your trailer with, quote, a big bowl of cocaine.
00:09:01It's in my writer.
00:09:03From 1984.
00:09:04I think I can have whatever the fuck I want.
00:09:06You're welcome to take it up with Homelander.
00:09:08When he gets back from Fort Harmony.
00:09:12Fort Harmony?
00:09:14Homelander and Stan Edgar had a good heart-to-heart and we think there's a strong chance of finding V1
00:09:20at Fort Harmony.
00:09:22Isn't that where Dr. Vaught first injected you?
00:09:28It's great news.
00:09:29If he finds it, Homelander will be immune to the virus and immortal like you.
00:09:34You'll get to spend eternity together, father and son.
00:09:38Forever.
00:09:42When did he leave?
00:09:43Hasn't left yet.
00:09:45Maybe you could go with him.
00:09:48Show him where to look.
00:09:50After all, it knows that place better than you.
00:10:09It's weird.
00:10:10No birds or animals.
00:10:12It's like...
00:10:12Fucking hell.
00:10:12Had to park on the other side of the state, didn't you?
00:10:15Well, if the hike's too hard, why don't you try tying your boots, motherfucker?
00:10:27Oh, fuck that.
00:10:28Nah, not really my type, son.
00:10:31Hey, how about trying a little respect?
00:10:32You know, Huey's right, Butcher.
00:10:33You should take her out to dinner first.
00:10:38Ah, let's see here.
00:10:39Based on the decomp, these bodies have been here a while.
00:10:43Something ripped them apart.
00:10:44Whatever killed those boy scouts might still stock these woods.
00:10:48Let's get a move on, then.
00:10:50Didn't come out here to get bumped by Bigfoot.
00:11:03Mmm.
00:11:05Goddamn, this is delicious.
00:11:07Why are we so long going to try this?
00:11:09What am I worried about?
00:11:11Probably the highest honor fish can have given their lives to me.
00:11:15I'm about to go to Little Fish Heaven with 47 Virgin Tuna.
00:11:18Yo, what the fuck, bro?
00:11:21I trusted you.
00:11:22Oh, so now you can talk, huh?
00:11:23You think going full method is easy?
00:11:25Do you know how hard it's been to not talk?
00:11:28My most powerful instrument, and I can't even use it.
00:11:31But I fucking committed.
00:11:32I have given everything to this role, and you straight up fucked me over.
00:11:35Wait, are you still butthurt about me bringing in Stan Edgar?
00:11:38I thought we were friends.
00:11:39I hit your back every time people laughed at how stupid you are.
00:11:42How your powers are a joke.
00:11:44How you're so dumb you need a court-appointed guardian.
00:11:46Nobody says that.
00:11:48Yes, they do. All the time.
00:11:50Well, let's not make a federal case out of this bro v. Wade.
00:11:52I needed a win from Homelander. Edgar was it.
00:11:54It's a dog-e-dog world.
00:11:56Is that what you think the phrase is?
00:11:58Whatever. Just put your fucking mask back on.
00:12:02Oh, so that's how it is, huh?
00:12:04You better watch your fucking back.
00:12:05Oh, yeah?
00:12:06What are you gonna do about it?
00:12:08Homelander's stoked about Edgar.
00:12:10He loves me right now.
00:12:11How long is that gonna last?
00:12:12You really think you're more important to him than his own father?
00:12:32Oh, man.
00:12:34The view from back here was crazy.
00:12:36You love it.
00:12:38Hon.
00:12:40Hmm?
00:12:40You're Super Scream.
00:12:43We really gotta get you a stronger ball gag.
00:12:45The way you punish my sin pit ain't no ball gag in the world strong enough.
00:12:50I gotta say, when Sage said I should marry you for the optics, I hung up on her.
00:12:55But I do love busting gushers all over your pathetic worm face.
00:13:02Oh, baby.
00:13:20Oh, shoot.
00:13:22I gotta run.
00:13:23I forgot I have a meeting with the worship team.
00:13:26He's lying.
00:13:26The church is bankrupt.
00:13:27Wait, what?
00:13:28The church is bankrupt?
00:13:30What?
00:13:30Who?
00:13:31Did back Ashley tell you that after all that hot eye contact I was giving her?
00:13:34That two-faced bitch.
00:13:36How do you lose money on a megachurch?
00:13:37You bring in hundreds of millions and don't pay taxes.
00:13:39Attendance is down.
00:13:40Donations are drying up.
00:13:42And I'm sure the two Gulf Streams don't help.
00:13:44How deep in the hole are you?
00:13:46Just, uh, 150 million.
00:13:49Jesus Christ, are you kidding me?
00:13:52You were supposed to get me a 12-point bump with evangelicals not hauled before Congress.
00:13:56Hey, what happened to how much you love busting gushers on my face?
00:14:00That was before you turned me into Tammy fucking Fay.
00:14:02This is ethics committees, subpoenas.
00:14:04Chris Hayes is gonna have a field day.
00:14:06Well, what are we gonna do?
00:14:07We?
00:14:08You tell me.
00:14:09You're the fucking emissary of God.
00:14:12Ma'am, you have a visitor?
00:14:13I need y'all's help with something.
00:14:17Dang.
00:14:19Smells like a wet shit in a Waffle House in here.
00:14:27Any son of super cunt?
00:14:29Could already be inside.
00:14:32Well.
00:14:34Let's find out.
00:14:37What's wrong?
00:14:39Annie.
00:14:42She'll come back.
00:14:44No.
00:14:44I almost died.
00:14:46But she made it all about her and she took off.
00:14:48I mean, last year I got bad touched by a shapeshifter and she still found a way to make it
00:14:52about her.
00:14:53She can be such a fucking bitch.
00:15:00Ah.
00:15:01Jesus.
00:15:01Sorry.
00:15:01I didn't mean for that to come out so harsh.
00:15:19Fuckin' hell.
00:15:20What the fuck happened here?
00:15:22I said.
00:15:23I'll be dead beast enjoyed in a muse bush, perhaps?
00:15:27Well, explains why we didn't hear no animals.
00:15:30I said that ten minutes ago.
00:15:55Hi, Kathy.
00:15:57I have always wanted to...
00:15:58It's nice to finally meet you.
00:16:00So you knew about this?
00:16:03You know what's funny?
00:16:04I must have asked you like a hundred times to go to Voughtland.
00:16:08But you always said the roller coasters would make you nauseous.
00:16:10He said that?
00:16:12I couldn't get him off that thing.
00:16:19How's your mom?
00:16:20She's okay.
00:16:21She's in hiding, but she's okay.
00:16:25You're a cop?
00:16:26Deputy.
00:16:27Deputy.
00:16:28I thought you were working for, um, the telephone company.
00:16:32When was the last time you saw a payphone?
00:16:35So, does that mean you're rounding up Starlighters?
00:16:38You mean terrorists?
00:16:40Mason.
00:16:40Sorry.
00:16:41Am I being rude?
00:16:42We're all good with serving tea to the soup serial killer in our living room.
00:16:45That's enough.
00:16:48You know what?
00:16:50I'm sorry.
00:16:51I'm sorry.
00:16:52I've put you guys in danger just by being here.
00:16:55You're right.
00:16:56Keeping me a secret.
00:16:57I'll just go.
00:16:59Annie, wait.
00:17:02I'm making a stroganoff.
00:17:03Well, it's hamburger helper, but...
00:17:05Have dinner with us?
00:17:07Wash your clothes.
00:17:08Take a shower.
00:17:09No offense, but...
00:17:11You could use one.
00:17:14This is insane.
00:17:21Really?
00:17:21We're getting fucking Mendo for lunch again?
00:17:24Baja green goddess with impossible chorizo.
00:17:26Yeah, can somebody make a run to Home Depot and get me some organic peat moss soil?
00:17:30Three pounds.
00:17:31All right, y'all.
00:17:32Let's keep it going.
00:17:33Blue Sky Day.
00:17:34No bad ideas.
00:17:36Just gotta sell Homelander as our lord and savior's all.
00:17:39All right, it's first thought theater, but what if he performed a miracle on live TV?
00:17:42He could part the Red Sea and send some refugees back where they came from.
00:17:45Oh, you couldn't do it live, though.
00:17:47We'd have to VFX the entire thing.
00:17:48Right, this is a yes and run.
00:17:50Oh, yes and.
00:17:51You're an idiot.
00:17:52Okay, uh, the bad version is he turns water into wine.
00:17:56Playing a quick game of opposites here.
00:17:58What if it was something not fucking terrible?
00:18:01Like, what if Homelander flew into all the major holy sites in the world that the people meet
00:18:08their new god in person, huh?
00:18:10Ooh, selfies with god.
00:18:12Pitching off of that, we could put him on a throne on the temple mount.
00:18:17That is your poster right there.
00:18:18Amen.
00:18:19Mm-hmm.
00:18:19This is amazing.
00:18:22And for the record, Homelander is 100% god.
00:18:26Um, but won't some people say he's not?
00:18:30A Homelander church would bring in Homelander box office.
00:18:33We prayed to God for help.
00:18:35He's answering.
00:18:36Looks like Firecrotch has a point.
00:18:39Excuse me?
00:18:39Yeah, they're Firecrotch.
00:18:41Madam Vice President.
00:18:41Because according to the snap poll here, only 22% of Americans would even accept Homelander
00:18:46as their one true god, making a real uphill battle to get him into the 70s, which is where
00:18:51he'd need to be.
00:18:51You know, I'd say it's all about numbers with you suits, but VOD Plus never releases any.
00:18:56Look, what we need to do is tell a story.
00:19:04Who here has read Joseph Campbell?
00:19:05Jesus Christ.
00:19:06What?
00:19:06No wonder the Lamplighter Light a Justice finale got a D-minus on A.V. Club.
00:19:10Okay, I had to service 14 main characters and cross over a bunch of assholes from the
00:19:16Avenging Squad prequel.
00:19:17You try and make a good finale out of that.
00:19:19The problem is, we are trying to sell a product that no one is asking for.
00:19:24Like New Coke, right?
00:19:26Everybody already loves Jesus.
00:19:28They want to eat right out of his asshole.
00:19:32Figuratively speaking, of course.
00:19:34Jesus was a great man.
00:19:36Yeah.
00:19:36The things he preached, turning the other cheek and taking in foreigners, caring for the
00:19:44poor, that shit don't sell no more.
00:19:49No, what we need is a church that preaches American.
00:19:54America is God's government, and we are his chosen people.
00:20:01Manifest destiny from sea to shining sea and shit.
00:20:06With a real American hero as our savior.
00:20:15The democratic church of America.
00:20:25You heard the numbers.
00:20:26The public won't accept it if we come out and call Homelander God.
00:20:30I know what to call him.
00:20:36The Orson Welles wore a cape.
00:20:38Cover his fat ass.
00:20:40Well, we could still fly the rest of the way.
00:20:43I told you, you're not fucking carrying me.
00:20:45All right.
00:20:50Oh, my God.
00:20:54A couple of uggos.
00:20:58Change your mind.
00:21:02Yesterday, you told me you wouldn't help me.
00:21:07Firecracker said you looked up to me.
00:21:09Guess you're not a complete idiot.
00:21:13I never said that.
00:21:15You want my help or not?
00:21:19The other day, when Clara Vaught's name came up, I got the impression you knew her.
00:21:25I fucked her once or twice, that's all.
00:21:30What?
00:21:31You did?
00:21:34And, uh, I guess we're related in more ways than one.
00:21:40Where is she?
00:21:43Dead.
00:21:45Suicide.
00:21:46Oh, shit.
00:21:47She never off herself.
00:21:50Yeah, well, she did.
00:21:52Did you see a body?
00:22:12Hey.
00:22:14Phone something.
00:22:18Blueprints.
00:22:19Yeah, and there's a labyrinth of hallways and rooms underground.
00:22:22There's a lab.
00:22:23If the V-1 is here, that's where it should be.
00:22:25Blueprints.
00:22:26What a fucking magic.
00:22:27If the V-1's here, it ought to be in the lab.
00:22:30I just said that.
00:22:31Are you ever going to fucking listen to me?
00:22:32As soon as you say something worth listening to, love.
00:22:35Why do you have to be such an asshole?
00:22:37Well, finally twigged now, have you?
00:22:38No, you remind me every day.
00:22:39Oh, real father of the year getting Ryan to fight your battles for you.
00:22:44Says the twat who turned his dad into a fucking zombie and then killed him.
00:22:48Okay, you know what?
00:22:48It's not just Ryan.
00:22:49Look at what you did to M.M.
00:22:50What the fuck did he do to me?
00:22:51He dragged you down into shit with him.
00:22:53And the worst part, you let him do it, you fucking pussy.
00:22:56Everyone, s'il vous plaît.
00:22:57Pussy, something is wrong here.
00:22:59This fucking nonce just called you a pussy.
00:23:01You're going to let him get away with that.
00:23:02Want me to put you in the fucking dirt?
00:23:04Yeah, fucking do it, M.
00:23:05Do it.
00:23:06Fucking do it.
00:23:07Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:23:08Hey, that's enough.
00:23:10None of you ever listen to me.
00:23:11Listen to you?
00:23:13You get jealous whenever I talk to anyone else.
00:23:14I don't need you to translate for me anymore.
00:23:17I'm not your fucking pet.
00:23:18Nah, but he liked you better when you were a dumb animal.
00:23:21Hey, stop.
00:23:22Can you not see there is something strange about this place?
00:23:25We need to focus.
00:23:27V1.
00:23:28Huh?
00:23:32Allons-y.
00:23:46Mason!
00:23:53Sorry about him.
00:23:54He's...
00:23:54It's okay.
00:23:55I used to be his age.
00:23:57I saw the sign out front.
00:23:59In this house, we believe in Homelander.
00:24:01Your boss of the department made everybody put them up.
00:24:04In answer to a suit named Livewire now.
00:24:06I don't round up starlighters, by the way.
00:24:10When that order comes in, I catch the flu.
00:24:12And the other deputies?
00:24:13They think that starlighters are coming for their kids.
00:24:16But that's a lie that Vought sells.
00:24:18I know that.
00:24:19Then why don't you say anything?
00:24:21The last guy that spoke up disappeared in the middle of the night with his wife and kids.
00:24:26I'm not proud of it, Annie.
00:24:29But I have a family to protect.
00:24:34I came here to get, you know, some answers and some closure before time runs out, but...
00:24:41Not what you expected.
00:24:43You could say that.
00:24:46After you left, I told myself that, you know, you just, you didn't want kids.
00:24:51But maybe you just didn't want me.
00:25:01Have a seat.
00:25:37This movie was shit.
00:25:38I did consider asking you for my money back.
00:25:41I didn't always approve of the choices you made, but I was always proud of you.
00:25:48Maybe even more proud when you quit.
00:25:55Why did you leave?
00:25:59The first time I saw your mother was on a church mission, El Salvador.
00:26:04We were young.
00:26:07Wanted to save the world.
00:26:10We were so happy when you came along.
00:26:14And your mom was dead certain that giving you V was going to give you a better life,
00:26:20better than a payphone repairman could give you.
00:26:24She asked me, do you know how we can really change the world?
00:26:28Ray's a superhero.
00:26:29So you, you got on board?
00:26:34Until she started telling you you were chosen by God.
00:26:39And the thing is, you believed it.
00:26:42And then she believed it.
00:26:44And I just...
00:26:47I couldn't keep lying to you.
00:26:49So I left.
00:26:51You never even reached out.
00:26:53To do what?
00:26:53Shatter your dreams?
00:26:54Keep lying to you?
00:26:55I didn't take it either.
00:26:57I needed you.
00:27:04If I could go back and change things, I would.
00:27:10I should have been there for you.
00:27:12Should have stood up for you.
00:27:15I'm sorry I left, Annie.
00:27:19It runs in the family, I guess.
00:27:23What do you mean?
00:27:24I flipped out the other day and I ditched someone I really love.
00:27:29It's like he's, um, it's like he's my heart walking on the outside.
00:27:34And if they got to him, it's like...
00:27:36The people we love aren't a weakness.
00:27:40They're the reason that we fight.
00:27:53Hey, is it alright if I talk to him?
00:27:56Of course.
00:27:57Just, just...
00:27:58Knock first.
00:28:01I learned that lesson the hard way.
00:28:15Yeah.
00:28:16Bella be's this way.
00:28:19Oh.
00:28:22Fuckin' hell.
00:28:23They've been here a minute, haven't they?
00:28:27Decades.
00:28:32Hunters.
00:28:32Look at their knives.
00:28:35These men.
00:28:37They kill each other.
00:28:39What if there is a monster here?
00:28:41But it's us.
00:28:42What the fuck you want about, Frenchie?
00:28:44Talks of plasmosis.
00:28:46It's a parasite in cat shit.
00:28:47It can affect humans.
00:28:49Makes them react with explosive anger.
00:28:51You think we ate cat shit?
00:28:53Ate?
00:28:54No, yeah.
00:28:55If the V1 spilled into the ground water, it could mutate at the plants.
00:28:59Their spores fills us with rage.
00:29:01We murder each other and voila.
00:29:05We're plant food for these vines.
00:29:08Okay, so like the last of us?
00:29:11No, that is just the walking dead with mushrooms.
00:29:14The dead campers.
00:29:16The animals.
00:29:17These hunters.
00:29:18Surely you all see how strangely you've been acting.
00:29:22Us.
00:29:22I've seen you blow cocaine up your dickhole.
00:29:25Wait.
00:29:26You have a point.
00:29:27The copious amount of drugs I've taken for decades has surely altered my brain chemistry.
00:29:31That's why I'm not affected.
00:29:33Guess being a junkie was good for something after all.
00:29:37Romeo and fucking Juliet.
00:29:39You two survive this war, I give this six months tops.
00:29:45Well fucking well.
00:29:58Let's fucking go.
00:30:03Where are you going?
00:30:05You gotta top those cunts.
00:30:06Get us killed, you fucking idiots.
00:30:09Neither of you are thinking street.
00:30:11Get that fucking gun out of my face, Frenchie.
00:30:13That ain't gonna do shit to me, Sonny.
00:30:15No, but I will.
00:30:17Homelander and Soldier Boy kill you, then kill us.
00:30:20Then if there's any V1 here, it's Homelander's.
00:30:24Does that make your family safe?
00:30:27Is that the revenge you seek?
00:30:29Does that make things right for Becca?
00:30:34Fine.
00:30:41We must hurry before we tear each other apart.
00:30:44Or the soups do.
00:30:48So what's the food?
00:30:49Gah!
00:30:50Gah!
00:30:50What the fuck, Frenchie?
00:30:52It's deer urine.
00:30:53Hunters use it to attract prey, but we will use it to hide our scent from Homelander.
00:30:57You spray that shit on me, and I'll rip your fucking head off.
00:31:01I ain't countin' on no goddamn deer piss to save our asses.
00:31:07It's just science, bro.
00:31:09When you jizz, masculine vitality leaves your body.
00:31:12Gotta hold that shit in.
00:31:13Right, Noir?
00:31:15Right, Noir?
00:31:17Fuck you.
00:31:19Looks like you hit the wrong button there, Broseph.
00:31:22Bitch.
00:31:23Says what?
00:31:24What?
00:31:26What?
00:31:31I just want to talk.
00:31:36Wow.
00:31:37Your picture was never up there.
00:31:38Yeah, good.
00:31:41Good.
00:31:42I mean, uh, yeah, no, that's good.
00:31:45I don't put traitors on my wall.
00:31:47Okay, you know, what they say about me, none of it's true.
00:31:51Do you mean the part that you blew your way into the seven?
00:31:54Or that you're a terrorist who traffics children?
00:31:56So that's like a hard no on getting into the back of my van?
00:32:00Hey, look, Mason, you go to school at Homelander Academy, and you come home and you watch thousands
00:32:08of TikToks every day.
00:32:10How is the truth supposed to compete with that?
00:32:13Whatever.
00:32:14You're like the FBI's most wanted.
00:32:17Okay, well, like it or not, the FBI's most wanted is your sister.
00:32:20So you can keep being an asshole about it, or, you know, we can also talk about it.
00:32:25Is there a third option?
00:32:31Let me guess.
00:32:32Chocolate cream fells every Thursday morning, right?
00:32:37Dad used to take me before school.
00:32:41It's one of the things I miss the most, actually.
00:32:44I think he was just taking me as his beard.
00:32:49Yeah, I feel like he's giving me diabetes.
00:33:14It's not here.
00:33:16Fuck this, and fuck you, and fuck me.
00:33:19This is a goddamn waste of time.
00:33:25Butcher.
00:33:26Take a look.
00:33:28Maybe some motherfucker beat us to it.
00:33:31Not too long ago, neither.
00:33:32They punched 80 years of rust right off the safe.
00:33:36Now, how many soups do we know that can punch this heart?
00:33:40Dozen, maybe more.
00:33:42What is it?
00:33:45Heroin.
00:33:46Heroin.
00:33:47Of course he would fucking know that.
00:33:52So, punch like a bleeding sledgehammer.
00:33:56A lot of taste for a fucking smack.
00:34:00Bombsite.
00:34:01No one have seen Bombsite for decades.
00:34:04He's likely dead.
00:34:05What if he's not, asshole?
00:34:07It'd be about the only other cunt that would know this shit was here.
00:34:10You mean Bombsite from Soldier Boy's first team?
00:34:13Wouldn't he have already been shot up with V1?
00:34:15What's he need more for?
00:34:22Hey, Ed.
00:34:23Everything all right?
00:34:24Yeah, I'm sorry to bother you on your day off.
00:34:26This is gonna sound crazy.
00:34:27Is Starlight in there?
00:34:30I'm sorry, what?
00:34:31I got a call from Mason.
00:34:34But it's a joke, right?
00:34:36Tell me it's a joke.
00:34:44She's my daughter.
00:34:46Your daughter?
00:34:47Jesus Christ, can I ever fucking lie?
00:34:49I've known you 20 years, and you never...
00:34:51I should have told you.
00:34:52She's a serial killer.
00:34:54She's not.
00:34:55I promise you, I'm begging you.
00:34:58Get back in your cruiser, and let this go.
00:35:01Are you crazy?
00:35:02I am not dying in a prison camp over this.
00:35:05I gotta take her in.
00:35:07You need to step aside, right now.
00:35:09Please, Ed, just take a breath.
00:35:13Hands up, right now.
00:35:15I don't think so.
00:35:16Walk away.
00:35:19Ed, put it down.
00:35:20I said, now.
00:35:21Walk away.
00:35:22No, you're under arrest.
00:35:24Ed, relax.
00:35:25Everybody, please.
00:35:26I'm warning you.
00:35:26I said, walk away.
00:35:27With the both of you, fucking stop!
00:35:35I'm sorry, Ed.
00:35:36Just, Ed, we sit next to each other in church every Sunday.
00:35:40After Pam died, you ate dinner here for how many months?
00:35:43Yeah, and you lied to my face the whole time.
00:35:45I know you're scared.
00:35:46I'm scared, too.
00:35:47But what Vought's been making us do, pulling people out of their homes, our neighbors, and
00:35:52sending them to...
00:35:54God knows where.
00:35:55You know it's wrong.
00:36:00And it's my daughter, and I love her.
00:36:02I should have stood up for her a long time ago.
00:36:05She's not what they say she is.
00:36:07She's a good person, Ed.
00:36:08And if good people stop trying to do the right thing, then what the hell chance do we have?
00:36:19She better be gone in an hour, or I swear to God, I'm coming back with Livewire.
00:36:23I'm hauling you both in.
00:36:26Thanks.
00:36:39This feels like deer piss.
00:36:41The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines.
00:36:44Still picking Nazi brains out of my hair.
00:36:47And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
00:36:50Mm-hmm.
00:36:50Not soft little hog chompers.
00:36:53Of course.
00:36:54No, I forgot how tough you were.
00:36:56Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck.
00:36:59I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape.
00:37:01What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dick wet?
00:37:04Oh.
00:37:04Oh, my dick was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin.
00:37:17Oh, look, more Uggos.
00:37:21Friends of yours.
00:37:22Friends of yours.
00:37:38What are you talking about?
00:37:41What are you talking about?
00:37:41Who's us?
00:37:45What?
00:37:46You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do you?
00:37:48We need it to save Annie and Kimiko.
00:37:52You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?
00:37:54Shh.
00:37:55Homelander will hear us.
00:37:56And you, you've just been going along with it again.
00:37:59We can't take the risk, Huey.
00:38:01And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives,
00:38:05we ain't got no fucking choice.
00:38:06It's easy for you to say.
00:38:07It won't fucking kill you.
00:38:08Well, at least he knows where to keep his gob shut and do as he's fucking told.
00:38:12Excuse me?
00:38:13No, no, no.
00:38:13We don't have time for this.
00:38:14We need to find a way out.
00:38:15Want a little secret, Butcher?
00:38:16I cheered when I found out that you were dying.
00:38:19Because at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
00:38:22You know what I used to say to these guys?
00:38:23Don't give up on Butcher.
00:38:24There's good in him.
00:38:25Fighting to get out.
00:38:26I was wrong.
00:38:27If there was anything human in there, it's dead.
00:38:30Underneath that chest full of octococks, you are just a fucking monster.
00:38:34Maybe I like it bad anyway.
00:38:36That parasite's not just in you.
00:38:37It is you.
00:38:38You're the cancer.
00:38:39Lower your voices.
00:38:41You're just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse.
00:38:43And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
00:38:45And what you gonna do about it?
00:38:47I'll fucking kill you.
00:38:53Please, calm down.
00:39:10Come on, M.M.
00:39:12I mean, if Butcher will let you.
00:39:40Hey, where'd you think you're going?
00:39:45Come on, M.M., hey.
00:39:48Don't.
00:39:53Tough guy, my ass.
00:39:56What?
00:39:56You.
00:39:57Your whole bit.
00:39:58This whole guts and glory thing.
00:40:01What a fucking joke.
00:40:03I read your classified file.
00:40:05Your brother won a silver star for bravery at Anzio.
00:40:08And that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Potts' trials.
00:40:13Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory.
00:40:18Making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
00:40:23You don't know shit about me.
00:40:27Really?
00:40:29I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that
00:40:34they had to strap you to the table and you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy, like the
00:40:41whiny, spoiled, little rich boy that you are.
00:40:46They gave you the world.
00:40:47And you, you deserve nothing.
00:40:51Oh, Christ.
00:40:52What's this shit hole now?
00:40:56What are you doing?
00:41:03Oh, well done.
00:41:04I'll be out of here in 30 seconds.
00:41:06Maybe.
00:41:07Maybe not.
00:41:11Enriched uranium.
00:41:12They'd stick us soups in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb.
00:41:16Now, for normal, Joe, they'd be dead in minutes.
00:41:18But for you, it's a stomach flu.
00:41:20Good luck, though.
00:41:22Getting out of a soup-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
00:41:35Where are you going?
00:41:37I'm going to go destroy any V1 that I find, you triple-crown cock jockey.
00:41:41Why?
00:41:42You don't get it, do you?
00:41:44How much I can't fucking stand you.
00:42:16Oh.
00:42:19Oh.
00:42:24Oh, Joe.
00:42:29Joeie.
00:42:34Come on, son. Come and have a go.
00:42:57Oh, if only the world could see you now.
00:43:02Not so fucking super, are you?
00:43:06You, uh, you got it better.
00:43:14Did your dad put you in time out?
00:43:17That's got a sting.
00:43:18Knowing he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you.
00:43:24What's the matter?
00:43:25Cunt got your tongue?
00:43:28Will wonders ever cease?
00:43:32Tell me something.
00:43:36If you did get the juice on you, you think that makes you a god, don't you?
00:43:42Seems like I know you pretty well after all.
00:43:44Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats gargling your bollocks and singing those Anna,
00:43:52you still wouldn't be happy.
00:43:54Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy.
00:44:02Now you beat the shit out of your own son.
00:44:07Don't get weaker than that.
00:44:18Brian is alive.
00:44:21Because he's strong.
00:44:23Cause he's my son.
00:44:25The son of God.
00:44:26You ain't no god.
00:44:29How's about I go fetch the virus?
00:44:31And then we'll watch you shit your fucking spine out.
00:44:38You don't have it, do you?
00:44:43The virus.
00:44:51Don't I?
00:44:52No.
00:44:55You don't.
00:44:56You would have used it by now.
00:45:03You have no way to stop me, do you?
00:45:06Oh, William.
00:45:08You have no idea what you're up against.
00:45:12You can't intervene.
00:45:15I will get the V1.
00:45:17And when I do, I'm gonna flee you alive.
00:45:21You, Starlight, all the non-believers.
00:45:26You're all gonna fucking drown in your own blood.
00:45:31I'll promise you, before I die,
00:45:38I'll fucking have you.
00:45:40You're all fucking paste.
00:45:43I can take what's mine.
00:45:46And that makes this whole fucking shit ball
00:45:49my birthright!
00:45:52My destiny!
00:46:24You fucker!
00:46:28Shit!
00:46:28Shit!
00:46:31rights control
00:46:32meant the
00:46:39Shit!
00:46:40Shit!
00:46:41Shit!
00:46:51Shit!
00:46:53Shit!
00:46:57Shit!
00:46:58Oh, God damn it.
00:47:37What the fuck?
00:47:45Oh, fuck.
00:47:49Fire!
00:47:50Oh, my God.
00:48:17Quinn.
00:48:19you know this man
00:48:23you were a doctor of what's trials together
00:48:27figures this would be you
00:48:29you ugly piece of shit
00:48:31oh you hated me
00:48:33yeah i was just a rich entitled asshole
00:48:37never seen a lick of real combat huh
00:48:41you still fucking hate me don't you
00:48:43this creature is nothing but hate
00:48:46it makes us hate
00:48:48he's the curse of all of this
00:48:51listen to me
00:48:53you are the only one who can end it
00:48:55put us down to his misery
00:48:56put him out of his misery no no god no
00:48:59no i like him like this
00:49:03fuck you bitch
00:49:07oh i didn't deserve what i got huh
00:49:09fuck you fuck you
00:49:11because i still got it i got all of it
00:49:14i fucking won
00:49:20if you won't kill him all of us will die
00:49:31i know why queen hates you
00:49:33oh is that right
00:49:34because he sees you for what you really are
00:49:37he was a real soldier
00:49:38you were just a boy playing dress up
00:49:41but you got to be the hero
00:49:43when he got to be this
00:49:44now where's the justice in that
00:49:47he should be you up there
00:49:49should be your pain
00:49:52you are nothing but a coward
00:49:55i said shut your fucking mouth
00:50:15hue e
00:50:19i'm sorry
00:50:23Yeah, me too.
00:51:02Oh, fuck. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.
00:51:48Yeah, me too.
00:51:57Well, that was the best star-enough I have ever had.
00:52:01It definitely wasn't, but that's kind of you.
00:52:08You have something you want to say?
00:52:10Sorry.
00:52:13You want to try that again?
00:52:16I'm sorry.
00:52:17Good, but you're grounded until you're 20.
00:52:20More like 30.
00:52:22I hope we see each other again.
00:52:25Me too.
00:52:34Annie?
00:52:35Don't make the same mistake I did.
00:52:38Don't give up on the people you love, all right?
00:52:59You...
00:53:05Oh, my God.
00:53:32Oh, my God.
00:54:04Are you crying?
00:54:12Just fucking do it already.
00:54:21Oh, my God.
00:54:50We wouldn't have made it out if you hadn't stepped up.
00:54:54You know, taking charge was the most horrible thing I've ever done.
00:55:00Never let me do it again.
00:55:02Never.
00:55:07I'm sorry I called you a feckless junkie man-whore.
00:55:10I don't remember you calling me that.
00:55:13I didn't?
00:55:14I thought I did.
00:55:17You're not wrong.
00:55:19I was once, but I'm clean now, and I can be whatever you need.
00:55:33I don't want to change you.
00:55:37It's that I'm trying to change myself.
00:55:44The reason I can speak now, it's because I did so much work to let go of my chaos.
00:55:53The thing is, you love chaos.
00:55:57You thrive in it, which is fine, but I can't go back to that.
00:56:08So where does that leave us?
00:56:09So where does that leave us?
00:56:37I'm sorry.
00:56:40I shouldn't have left you.
00:56:41I should have been here.
00:56:41Actually, I'm so, so glad you weren't super good dead in this.
00:56:49You're much?
00:57:01Listen, mate.
00:57:02That's what I said.
00:57:03Hey, don't tell me you didn't mean it, I...
00:57:06Because I'm sure it's home in every fucking word I said.
00:57:10So we've got a problem?
00:57:17We cool, man.
00:57:19We cool.
00:57:27What are you doing?
00:57:29Just thinking.
00:57:31Well, the shit show is on.
00:57:34From sea to shining sea.
00:57:42Be America.
00:57:46Let's go.
00:57:48Yes.
00:57:49Yes.
00:57:51Yes.
00:57:55Brothers and sisters.
00:57:58Brothers and sisters, we are truly, truly fortunate to bear witness on this day.
00:58:04because today
00:58:06is the greatest day
00:58:08in the history of Samaritans' embrace.
00:58:10Can I get an amen?
00:58:13I mean, I love
00:58:14all this love,
00:58:16but don't you believe in Jesus or whatever?
00:58:18I did.
00:58:20Now I believe in Homelander.
00:58:21She's lying.
00:58:22No shit.
00:58:23Excuse me?
00:58:27But today, brothers and sisters,
00:58:29today, we set America back
00:58:31on its true course.
00:58:34Starting today,
00:58:36brothers and sisters,
00:58:37we commit ourselves
00:58:38to a divine
00:58:41rebranding.
00:58:42We will be
00:58:44patriots of faith.
00:58:46We will fulfill
00:58:47our founding father's dream.
00:58:50Today,
00:58:52starting today,
00:58:53Samaritans' embrace becomes
00:58:55the Democratic Church
00:58:57of America.
00:59:03And here,
00:59:04to share his holy plan
00:59:05for our new church,
00:59:07he is not just a man.
00:59:11He's not just
00:59:12a Superman.
00:59:18He is the prophet
00:59:20of the Lord!
00:59:25He is the prophet
00:59:27of America!
00:59:30He is the prophet
00:59:31of the Lord!
00:59:35of the Lord!
00:59:45He is the prophet
00:59:47of the Lord!
00:59:50He is the prophet
00:59:52of the Lord!
01:00:03Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
01:00:24Oh, oh, oh
01:01:06Oh, oh, oh
01:01:24Oh, oh, oh
01:01:55Oh, oh, oh
01:02:31Oh, oh, oh
01:03:21Oh, oh, oh
01:03:51Oh, oh, oh
01:04:21Oh, oh, oh
01:04:51Oh, oh, oh
01:05:21Oh, oh, oh
01:05:24Oh, oh, oh
01:05:35Oh, oh, oh
01:05:38Oh, oh, oh
01:05:48Oh, oh, oh
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