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Short filmTranscript
00:03Les, you're stuck in a bad dream.
00:07We both are.
00:08Les, wake up.
00:13Lindy!
00:15You're you.
00:16I'm me.
00:17Is it over?
00:18It is for me.
00:19What happened?
00:20I lost my Pulitzer.
00:22I was outed as a plagiarist by our daughter.
00:25She's so clever and bright.
00:29It loathes me.
00:30But not you.
00:31I'm sorry.
00:32I would be devastated if she loathed me.
00:35It's alright, really.
00:36I am a fraud.
00:37One book.
00:39I'm relieved.
00:40That was your prize.
00:42Now that I've solved the formula, I'm going to get mine.
00:44Oh, you're confused.
00:46You didn't solve anything.
00:47You're never going to get your prize.
00:49You're a fraud, too.
00:51And I need you to respect me, Lindy.
00:52I can't be alone.
00:54You are alone.
00:55But you're here.
00:57Am I?
01:08I'm still here, Lass.
01:12No, you're not.
01:13I'm dreaming.
01:15No.
01:17This is real.
01:19I'm right here.
01:25BING!
01:30Where are you?
01:48Guild won't let you sleep.
01:50You're the one who should be really guilty.
01:52Me!
01:53Yes!
01:54Wait, shit.
01:56Dolores!
01:57I can't tell you a second.
02:00I found you.
02:02You've seen us.
02:10Shit.
02:14Dr. Carmichael's back!
02:15Oh, fuck that bitch!
02:16Fuck you!
02:17Last time.
02:18The same red light reaction.
02:18You're in my head.
02:19You're in my head.
02:21You're in my head.
02:21You're in my head.
02:22Dr. Carmichael says,
02:23we can't be afraid to expose our naked selves
02:25even if it makes us feel vulnerable and scared.
02:38We're going god mode.
02:42Connect, connect, connect, connect, connect, connect, connect.
02:45I have no power!
02:46If you have no power!
02:47Don't you dare touch that circuit breaker, Les.
02:49I will crush you.
02:52I touch what I want to touch!
02:54I exist without restraint!
02:56You live in darkness.
02:58Full fucking throttle.
03:00You will tremble to think of all the things I can do while you sleep.
03:05Sun's out, Bun's out!
03:07Oh.
03:12Fuck this!
03:13I'm checking into the courtyard Marriott!
03:15If you don't come home, I will report myself a missing person.
03:18You would?
03:19I would.
03:20I will gone girl myself.
03:22How are you going to explain your actions to the police?
03:24You monster!
03:25I'm your monster, Dr. Frankenfuck.
03:33Oh.
03:34Oh my bad!
03:41Enough to wipe your ass for 192 days.
03:44Trust me.
03:47You're my prisoner now.
03:56hello hello hi martin hi yes are you sleeping your eyes are open no i was resting it's been
04:02a long um long life are you able to to receive information because we've got a problem what is
04:08a problem a problem is that hilson has moved up the investor presentation to tomorrow he was so
04:14impressed with your little party tricks so is dr 2000 i can get the nobel prize in sweden out of
04:19the
04:19king unless you can figure out the formula there is no nobel no there is no lab there is no
04:28you there
04:28is no me there is fraud there is a lawsuit there is maximum security prison and elton's smug face
04:39i can sleep in prison why are you like this lindy is this about the scandal because i have a
04:45lot of
04:45conflicting lindy information she is confident she's yeah i need him i need a minute now take
04:5020. take 30. make it fast because if you can't figure this out we are dead dead in the holy
04:58water
05:07you've elected to try something new you've decided to take control of your anger and rage
05:12surprise yourself and those around you by finding an alternative to lashing out and emotionally bathing
05:18your loved ones by channeling inner peace and reconnecting with your better self you're in there
05:25somewhere oh yeah oh yes hello hi hi i thought you hated me i do turn on the today show
05:33oh why what's
05:34this fucking nightmare it's gonna put both of us in the fucking ground but what the fuck now jackie
05:39no jenna no i have to go no no no any idea what she's gonna say nope her mouth
05:55i know you hate me but i hate me more get up let me die i totally want to but
06:00the today show what the
06:02fuck now jackie yeah jenna joining us today via satellite is the student rumored to a britain
06:09oh fuck yeah jackie welcome what a whirlwind jenna what an honor to be here i'm so grand i love
06:17how
06:17you love books as much as i do jenna let me begin by saying professor little john is my hero
06:23my rainbow stars of black changed my life it's as if she saw into my soul well now there are
06:29questions
06:30about the authenticity of that novel too which is some bullshit and i cannot believe that this is happening
06:34let me check it professor little john is the reason i wanted to become a writer she's a paragon
06:38of inspiration to think that professor little john would be capable of plagiarism is
06:44is heartbreaking i mean being in this position is my worst nightmare realized jesus she's good
06:52untitled on purpose is a captivating and entertaining read the question everyone is asking is who wrote
06:58it professor little john if you're watching and i sure hope you are i have no choice but to tell
07:04the
07:04truth professor little john is the true author of untitled on purpose why what yes god thank you
07:14i'm merely a humble graduate student oh god your publisher better have deep
07:20fucking pockets well played hell well fucking played a nice touch something into montana too keeps
07:26saying i am no professor little john teach me everything you know she's lying you don't know me jackie
07:34baldwin i am not lying she is lying about the lying your mom's fans are fucking toxic yeah everybody hates
07:43me the chiclet hash takers are strapping on their heels for battle but they loved me yesterday
07:55richard do you have thoughts today um richard's not here oh yes you're right he's dead
08:01no i i think he's just a collinsville is that shakespearean for heaven it's a suburb lovely
08:09bob bob explain what i should implement um you're not bob i'm bob there's something different about
08:18you i'm bob the new explainer jennett what's happening where's bob bob bob is not here no
08:24explanation what's going on um he seems off less come
08:34there's a new bob that's right the other bob spoke to a journalist you did not do that you know
08:38the protocol let's reset tell me what you see better yet tell me what you don't see
08:49follow the curve continue we need a curve uh i don't know what kind of curve but not a straight
09:10line
09:11curve a curve to infinity if the cord stabilizes for three minutes we'll have reached limitless
09:20stabilization and the math dr littlejohn well the the equation the curve um
09:38we have 24 hours you can do this you need to sleep you're welcome to stay at my place in
09:44my guest
09:44room the battery system are big medium firm i'm here for you less i am wherever you need me to
09:51be
09:52for work or anything other than work too
10:00i can't my wife is expecting me i see i understand then go home but do whatever you have to
10:08do
10:09to rest and think defend your mental space defend my mental space get creative
10:22so is that it is it over you're welcome what happened hell i have been through hell you have
10:29no no you have no idea so my pulitzer you got to keep it and my editor still on the
10:36roster
10:39and my best friend
10:43waitlisted ish fair i deserve an ish i'm just relieved not to be dropped so everybody wins right you
10:52me jackie baldwin i'm assuming rate of the money calls yes but worth it i think oh you're welcome
10:58too soon fair fair yes um listen there is one casualty someone's got to take a fall oh
11:06fuck lulu
11:10hashtag saint lulu de lulu
11:13is it bad bad she's tough and it's the internet so tomorrow it'll be someone else's something else
11:20jackie's on and not the foxy one i gotta run congrats i think
11:24that
11:32jesus
11:51You're old, text me.
11:53Of course.
12:08It's your mom.
12:09She says, Lulu, please come home.
12:11Delete it.
12:11No.
12:12Yes.
12:13No.
12:13You should go home.
12:15Talk to her.
12:17She had her student lie so that I could be crushed on social media and she could keep her precious
12:22fucking award.
12:23That is all she cares about.
12:24You don't know she actually did that.
12:25I have proof that she stole that story.
12:27I will not let her get away with this.
12:28What are you going to do?
12:29Make another TikTok?
12:30Maybe I should.
12:31Or go on the Today Show.
12:32I'm just looking for more drama.
12:33You're like a drama junkie.
12:35So she, finally.
12:37Now you see my point?
12:39She reached out.
12:40She wants to see you.
12:42She is breaking a pattern and so should you.
12:51And we will be talking about Shirtless Mike later.
12:57You fellows have traveled a great distance following a northern star.
13:01Gifts in hand and your faith was rewarded, right?
13:04And in my own way I have traveled a great distance following my heart's North Star only to be rejected
13:10and tortured and traumatized and I'm losing my faith.
13:14I'm losing my faith.
13:17In faith?
13:19I'm in dire need of some kind of sign.
13:21A reason, a present direction.
13:35Your existence is complicated, but I thank you anyway.
13:41Well, you've restored my faith.
13:42In what?
13:44In life.
13:45Hi.
13:46Hi.
13:47I know you're on a mini-science sabbatical caring for a loved one right now, and I hate to bother
13:52you, but...
13:53Get it.
13:53You were never a bother.
13:55I'm glad.
13:56Good.
13:57What's going on?
13:59Um...
13:59Less is not good.
14:01Oh, I know.
14:02You know?
14:03I...
14:04Well, we work together so closely that it's like a twin flame thing.
14:07I can feel it even if I can't see it in person.
14:11Uh, thing is, we need him good.
14:14Like, great.
14:15He's too exhausted to string a coherent sentence together and the investor presentation is tomorrow.
14:20Wait.
14:21Tomorrow?
14:22Yeah.
14:22Hilton's whim.
14:23Oh, so how can I be helpful?
14:26I wish you could talk to him.
14:27Get him back on track.
14:29I mean, he thinks you're in, like, heaven?
14:33I'm nearby.
14:53Great choice.
14:54It's my favorite.
14:56Would it get through a bedroom door easily?
14:59Like a hot knife through butter.
15:01Yes, please.
15:02Question.
15:03Uh, Chuck.
15:04If you had a very clever, determined, angry mouse that was keeping you up all night, driving
15:09you fucking insane, what would you use to slow her down?
15:13Let me ask you this.
15:14Let me ask you this.
15:14Are you looking for something?
15:16Humane, or...
15:17Indomane?
15:21Let me show you both the options.
15:22Yes, please.
15:25I'll wait to hear from you with, um, the bells on.
15:28Fare thee well.
15:33Oh, um, um, I was on a personal call.
15:38I apologize.
15:40I cannot lie.
15:41Why do you look like that?
15:42Nervous.
15:43Glowing.
15:44When you hung up with whoever you were speaking to, you smiled.
15:47And glowed.
15:47Am I in trouble?
15:48Not yet.
15:49I'm curious.
15:50I was talking to, um, someone special.
15:53You're in a relationship.
15:55No, no, no.
15:55The someone special already has a someone special.
16:00Am I fired?
16:01Isn't it anti-feminist to be considered the other woman?
16:03I'm sorry?
16:03Your Instagram account.
16:04Janet Colgate.
16:06Physicist.
16:07Feminist.
16:09Celiac.
16:09You're on Instagram?
16:10In a way.
16:11I lurk.
16:11I research.
16:13Everyone.
16:14Janet.
16:17You're the other woman.
16:18Oh, I-I don't think I have that saddest yet.
16:22Same.
16:23Hm.
16:26Mom, I'm here.
16:27Let's talk.
16:29Mom?
16:30I'm in here.
16:32Where?
16:33In the kitchen.
16:36Mom, where?
16:38On the island.
16:40The what?
16:41Okay, this is fucking stupid.
16:43By the salt and pepper.
16:51It's me.
16:52It's me.
16:53I'm tiny.
16:54And I know it's a shock.
16:55Just try not-
16:55You're tiny?!
16:58Scream.
16:59Before we continue, let's crash course in volume control.
17:03You're going to lean into a whisper.
17:04I'll lean into a shout.
17:05We'll meet in the middle.
17:06Are you real?
17:10Yeah, I am real.
17:11Holy fuck.
17:13Holy fuck, Dad did this.
17:14The dollhouse?
17:16The crying?
17:17The Today Show?
17:18Grandma?
17:19Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
17:21Quieter.
17:22Sorry.
17:23It's okay.
17:25How did this happen?
17:28It was an accident.
17:30An accident.
17:31Your dad and I are working through some issues.
17:34I am working through some issues.
17:36It's why I reached out.
17:38Lulu,
17:40those comments online just broke my heart.
17:43You don't deserve-
17:44It's-
17:45It's-
17:45I'm-
17:46No, God.
17:46I fucked up.
17:49Why are you crying?
17:50I don't know.
17:51I don't know.
17:52Because I'm so fucking mad at you.
17:55I hated you.
17:57You lied.
17:58That Jackie Baldwin bitch lied.
17:59Okay.
18:00I'm sorry.
18:00I don't know how to whisper cry.
18:01And I can't even fucking yell.
18:03No, it's okay.
18:03You should yell.
18:04You should be mad.
18:05Don't tell me that I should be mad when I should be mad.
18:08And now, I can't be mad.
18:10Because-
18:11Because-
18:12You're just-
18:13You're so small.
18:15And I feel so bad.
18:18Come here!
18:24Closer.
18:26Closer!
18:29Don't look up my nose.
18:31I won't.
18:33This is so weird.
18:38I know.
18:40Our family's weird now.
18:46So, um...
18:48Are you okay?
18:49Well, I'm branded dog shit, but I'm okay.
18:52This is all my fault.
18:54I'm not a great mom.
18:56I-I want to be.
18:57I-I need to try harder.
18:59I-I can start right now.
19:00Where to start?
19:01Okay.
19:02Um...
19:02I wrote a book.
19:04Whoa.
19:04We're going back 20 years?
19:06How long is the story?
19:07Short.
19:07And with a point.
19:08We'll see.
19:09I wrote a book.
19:10I got rewarded.
19:11I felt like a fraud.
19:13This is my first book.
19:14But then I had this prize.
19:15And that...
19:16Basically became my identity.
19:18So, bullshit on bullshit.
19:19Bullshit on bullshit.
19:21And, uh...
19:22Well, then...
19:23Then you came along.
19:24And I could focus on you.
19:27Not me.
19:28So, bullshit me.
19:29She kinda...
19:30Got left behind.
19:32Which I loved.
19:33And then you grew up.
19:34And we grew apart.
19:36And bullshit me kinda...
19:38Showed back up.
19:40I think...
19:41I resented you resenting me.
19:43But that is not being a good parent.
19:45That is being...
19:46A petulant child.
19:48Yeah.
19:48You were hurting.
19:50I didn't know why, but...
19:51I should've asked.
19:54I should've listened.
19:58Okay.
19:59Okay.
19:59Well...
20:00A few edits, maybe.
20:01But...
20:01Your story did have a point.
20:03So...
20:03I'm listening now.
20:05And I have really good hearing.
20:07It's a benefit of being this tiny.
20:10I hate science.
20:12You do?
20:13Dad's gonna lose his fucking brain.
20:14I mean...
20:15I flunked out of school.
20:16So...
20:17Go ahead.
20:17Freak out.
20:18You did?
20:19Yeah.
20:19By design.
20:20I mean...
20:21Okay, how?
20:22It was harder than I expected.
20:24I bet.
20:26I misappropriated my student's story and didn't correct it.
20:29I dropped a TikTok outing my mom as a plagiarist.
20:33I burned down your dollhouse.
20:35What?
20:36Yeah.
20:37Felt great.
20:38I deleted darling daughter.
20:40Wait, that was you?
20:42Yeah, I was 11.
20:43You should really change your password.
20:46Wait...
20:49Oh my god.
20:52You read that?
20:54Yeah, it's okay.
20:55I know you didn't want me.
20:56I get it.
20:58Lulu.
20:59I was channeling Grandma Diane, my mom, thinking about me.
21:05Really?
21:06Of course!
21:06Oh my god!
21:07I've never regretted having you!
21:10But the resentment...
21:11No, that was later and different!
21:13God, no!
21:15Makes sense.
21:17Does it?
21:18Yeah, actually.
21:20I read your book.
21:21I can definitely see the Grandma Diane connection.
21:23God, it breaks my heart that you thought I didn't...
21:27That you grew up thinking that I didn't want you?
21:30Oh my god, I'm so sorry!
21:33Oh, sweet girl.
21:34I'm so sorry, I suck!
21:37Oh, I suck!
21:38I fucking suck!
21:40I suck too.
21:41That's also my fault!
21:42And Dad's!
21:43We all suck.
21:44Which sucks!
21:51You read my book.
21:53You want me to tell you it's good?
21:56No.
21:57It's okay.
21:59I'll take it.
22:00So, do you have to tell Dad I flunked out?
22:02Like a UFP or United Family, whatever it is?
22:06UFP.
22:07United Parental Front.
22:08No, fuck it.
22:18I have to go in front of the review board tomorrow.
22:20Like, make a case or whatever.
22:22Tell them why they shouldn't kick me out of school.
22:24What are you gonna say?
22:26We could...
22:27We could practice it.
22:28No.
22:29Don't get all mom about it.
22:32Okay.
22:35Hey, Lulu.
22:36What's going on?
22:38Dad.
22:44I can explain.
22:45Les, don't worry.
22:47I already explained.
22:49What did she tell you?
22:50A lot.
22:51She's a liar.
22:53You're the liar, Dad.
22:55What?
22:55The dollhouse?
22:56Grandma?
22:57Mom left us?
22:59You let me think she was having an emotional breakdown.
23:01No.
23:01What the fuck?
23:02No, no, no.
23:02You've never lied to me before.
23:06What did you tell her?
23:07Whatever I want.
23:08I'm her mother.
23:08She needed me.
23:09Since when?
23:10You had no right to talk to her.
23:12No.
23:12No, no, no.
23:13We discussed this.
23:14UPF.
23:15UPF.
23:15We said that Sally would traumatize you and we were gonna tell you together.
23:18That's the U in UPF.
23:20Someone had to be the P.
23:21Well, here's the F.
23:22Fuck you.
23:22Fuck you.
23:23Fuck you.
23:24Fuck you.
23:25Fuck you.
23:26Why?
23:31Shit.
23:32We are horrible.
23:35The worst.
23:36Makes me sick.
23:37To make her sick.
23:39We need to get our shit together.
23:42Jesus.
23:43Look at us.
23:44Look at me.
23:46I know.
23:47I know.
23:47I know.
23:47Okay.
23:54I'm so sorry, Lulu.
23:55This is us.
23:56Not you.
23:57Never you.
23:58Never you.
23:58I think I'm empty.
24:05This is so fucked.
24:07Our family is fucked.
24:11You're standing on the sink.
24:13Yeah.
24:14But, uh, this is our new reality.
24:16We're fucked up family like everybody else.
24:19You know?
24:19Sort of.
24:20Until we're not, I can fix this.
24:22Can you, Dad?
24:24Yes.
24:25Do you believe me?
24:29I believe you.
24:30You know?
24:31And you're brilliant.
24:32Frustratingly so.
24:33I've always believed in you.
24:35Always.
24:38Okay, so like, what do we do now?
24:40We live.
24:41Uh, Dad and I are gonna work things out.
24:44You're gonna go back to school tonight.
24:46And, um, then we'll all go skiing over President's Day weekend.
24:49Or something.
24:50I don't know.
24:50But we're gonna be okay.
24:51We're going to be okay.
24:53Right?
24:54Yes.
24:55Absolutely.
24:56Yes.
25:00Is it bad that I kind of want to see Mom on tiny skis?
25:07Hey.
25:08You know I love you, girl.
25:11Yeah, I know.
25:20She didn't tell me that she loved me back.
25:22I think she did.
25:23She did not.
25:24You know she did not.
25:25Okay, this is a lot for her to process.
25:27I've lost her love.
25:30Okay, now you're being dramatic.
25:31Dramatic?
25:33She fucking adored me and now she can barely look at me.
25:36Yeah, it stings.
25:37But-
25:38No, no, no.
25:38It's fine.
25:38It's okay.
25:39I understand.
25:39I know.
25:40I know that you love this.
25:41You love it.
25:42Love what?
25:42You want me to be Hurricane Les, don't you?
25:46Well, bravo.
25:47This is your fucking guilt talking.
25:50That's what this is.
25:50You just, you took my daughter away from me.
25:54Your daughter?
25:54That was your plan.
25:55This was my plan.
25:56I was her hero and now she thinks I'm a fucking liar.
25:59I told her it was an accident.
26:01You want me to play her the voice note?
26:03Huh?
26:03Oh, I'm sure you painted a very pretty picture of yours.
26:05Did you tell her about Richard?
26:07Did you tell her about Richard?
26:08His blood is on your hands, slutty.
26:10Really?
26:11My tiny, innocent, shrunken on purpose hands?
26:14Maybe you deserve to be her mad scientist, shithead dad who shrunk her mom.
26:19Every dad disappoints eventually.
26:20It's finally your fucking turn.
26:33What the fuck are you doing?
26:38It would be so easy just to let go.
26:40I've seen your balls last.
26:42They aren't big enough.
26:43Oh, it's been a while.
26:48Maybe you've forgotten how big they are.
26:50Put me down.
26:52Okay.
26:58You motherfucker.
27:00You're dead.
27:02Sure, why not?
27:09What the fuck?
27:28I said, oh my god, it's a monster and he's one of the girls and one of the girls in
27:34the world.
27:34How could you stop and share your boys?
27:34Who's going to live again?
27:35You're dead.
27:35I'm dying.
27:39Kill me.
27:40I'm dying.
27:41It's almost dead.
27:41You're dead.
27:41We've could be trapped here.
27:41I'm dying, sorry.
27:42Oh, man.
27:43I'm dying.
27:43Nothing.
27:44I've never been dying.
27:45I'm dying.
27:51You were a good and loyal friend.
27:54I'm going to miss you, Dolores.
27:57I'm sorry you've ended this way.
28:01I'm sorry too, Dolores.
28:05Your eyes do not deceive you.
28:07I am not a ghost.
28:08I am very much alive.
28:11Richard!
28:12I'm so relieved.
28:14You are no more a murderer than I am an adulterer.
28:17I was hoodwinked into an uncompromising position, but I want to put your mind at ease.
28:23Nothing happened below the belt.
28:24Well, the belt was off, Richard.
28:26All part of the charade.
28:30I never meant to hurt you.
28:31Yes, you did.
28:32However, I know you never meant to vanquish me.
28:35But you did not.
28:37Call it even?
28:39Even Steven.
28:44I have a science thought, if I may be so bold.
28:46Please.
28:48So, given my recent first-hand experiences, I've been thinking about the quantum harmonic oscillator.
28:52What if its potential energy is akin to the mass on a spring?
28:55As in, uh, V of X equals one-half KX squared, where K is the spring constant, and X is
28:59the displacement.
29:01I mean, that's a, that's, that's a parabolic curve.
29:05I mean, back at work.
29:07Oh, I've missed this.
29:10Me too.
29:11I will say, Janet's been good.
29:12Very good.
29:12Um, but I haven't, I missed, uh, I missed the, uh, you don't need to say it.
29:16I know.
29:17Richard, I, you, missed you.
29:19I do owe you an apology.
29:22I was a fool for love.
29:25I keep wondering, was I driven by love, or the tragedy of love?
29:31You know, I can't believe you miniaturized yourself for her.
29:34Oh, you would have done the same if you weren't needed to solve the formula.
29:38Oh no, Richard, never crossed my mind.
29:41No, we've reached a new low.
29:43Oh, may I ask why?
29:46Because I know her.
29:48I really fucking know her.
29:52Not worth it.
29:54Then you know she's coming for you.
29:56Oh, I do.
29:58But I can't fucking wait.
30:06Oh, god damn.
30:08Oh, Uncle Sam can get beyond that, huh?
30:10My Pentagon pals are going to love this tiny shit.
30:12You're so cute.
30:13Yes, listen to me, cuter.
30:14Shipped across the world for the price of a first-class stamp,
30:17and then restored to regular size on the battlefield.
30:20From bang to boom.
30:22And with your connections, bang to boom to big fucking bucks.
30:31It's a close one.
30:33It's a close one.
30:33General, this changes.
30:36This changes.
30:53I'm coming for you.
30:56You crossed the line.
30:59You made me tiny and tried to flush me down the toilet.
31:04You wanted to drown me.
31:07It's my turn now.
31:10Death?
31:10It's too easy.
31:12But I can make you suffer.
31:14Your swimming pool?
31:15Moat?
31:16Cannot stop me.
31:18I may be small forever, but I've never been more powerful.
31:31I must destroy your greatest prize.
31:34I must break you, Drago Rocky IV.
31:41Math it up.
31:44Math it up.
31:49Let's reset.
32:14Well, well, well.
32:16Am I to assume you're blocking my path to protect less?
32:19I'm protecting science.
32:21You're protecting the man who tried to kill you.
32:23Drawn to wrath by you.
32:24It was a kiss.
32:25A naked kiss.
32:26Fine.
32:27A naked kiss.
32:30Now move.
32:32Richie, please don't make me hurt you.
32:36Hurt me?
32:37You destroyed me.
32:39Richie.
32:42I am sorry.
32:44Truly.
32:46Sincerely sorry.
32:49You're a good man.
32:50I really like a man.
32:52Now, please.
32:54Move.
32:55I am blue to think about what you're doing.
32:58He'll turn us...
32:59Some of the demonstrations of this morning...
33:01This is...
33:02This is...
33:02This is last chance to fix the formula.
33:03And so we just...
33:04We both need him to succeed.
33:06So regardless of what's happened, just think about your future.
33:09Mine.
33:10Hmm?
33:13Your generosity of spirit will be instrumental in our restoration and a scientific discovery
33:18for the ages.
33:20One worthy of the recognition of the highest order.
33:23The Nobel.
33:26Oh, Richie.
33:27Richie.
33:28Richie.
33:28Richie.
33:29Richie.
33:30You almost haven't convinced.
33:33Get the fuck out of my way.
33:36I would rather die a six-inch death than see Les Littlejohn win a fucking Nobel.
33:44You're gone.
33:45You're gone into the heart of darkness.
33:51The curve.
33:52The thought of the curve.
33:54The curve to infinity.
33:59I need to reset.
34:01I need to rest.
34:02I'm so close.
34:04What's the map?
34:05What is it that you don't see?
34:15What?
34:16Don't.
34:18You.
34:20I'm so.
34:26Don't.
35:27Look!
35:27Look!
35:28You made a fucking canoe!
35:30I'm bigger than you!
35:32I will crush you!
35:33I will win!
35:39Oh, come on!
35:45Help, lad!
35:47Lindy!
35:50Lindy!
35:52If you're hurt, answer me!
35:53We can call a timeout!
35:56I don't know what to do!
35:57I don't know what to do!
35:59I don't know what to do!
36:00I'm coming, Lindy!
36:01I'm coming!
36:02I'm coming!
36:03And I'm trusting!
36:04This is a timeout, Lindy!
36:06We're here now!
36:10Ow!
36:11Ow!
36:13Ow!
36:13Ow!
36:14Ow!
36:15My pathetic hero!
36:16I called a timeout!
36:18I didn't agree!
36:19You're a poor sport and a monster!
36:21You deserved it!
36:22You're a sore loser!
36:24You prayed upon the last shred of my compassion!
36:26Good!
36:26Now we're even!
36:27Time in!
36:28So there was a timeout!
36:29In your mind!
36:30I'm dumbing down the play along!
36:32Oh yeah!
36:32You didn't mean to dumb down!
36:33You've been dying on the dumb luck for the last 20 fucking years!
36:35Dumb luck!
36:36That's what jealous, resentful people call talent!
36:39Talent!
36:40Is the battle crime on housewives of a little mid-day shark!
36:43I teach!
36:44Yeah!
36:44Those who can't do!
36:46What's the saying?
36:47You want to say a woman's future look at a mother?
36:48Well, you are your mother!
36:49That's not even the saying, idiot!
36:51I'm no idiot!
36:52I'm a literal genius!
36:53Who's out of ideas?
36:54A science has been who will be so close for the rest of his life!
36:59At least I started something!
37:00And finished it!
37:01And won!
37:02Nobel!
37:02You want to fuck so bad?
37:03I will kill us both!
37:05Before letting you win it!
37:07Start and finish!
37:08I win again!
37:09What do you think there's one thing I'd left to finish?
37:11You!
37:13Ow!
37:14You!
37:19All right, I'm ready!
37:27What?
37:28What happened to you?
37:30Your eye!
37:31Ew!
37:32Ew!
37:32Nothing!
37:32Why are you here?
37:33You're late!
37:34What time's it?
37:35Presentation time!
37:36You're not answering your phone!
37:37Hey!
37:38Down here!
37:39What's happening?
37:40He made me die!
37:41He's down here!
37:41Hey!
37:41Just a minute!
37:43Fuck me!
37:46Five minutes!
37:47I'll be right behind you!
37:58And don't be right behind you!
37:59Let go!
38:01Hey!
38:05oh hi lulu hi tiny mom oh funny i'm back at school how did it go with the review board
38:13it hasn't happened yet um i'm thinking about bailing oh yeah i get that instinct
38:20what would you do uh okay let me think um well i know you're excited i called don't make it
38:28a
38:28thing i will hang up got it i would want to bail too but older tiny me might come to
38:37regret that
38:38like regret what it's self-destructive and they control the narrative
38:48lulu that's pretty good parenting what the i might know a thing or two about a thing or two
38:56there she is i can only be me hey so you know um i was thinking you get to hold
39:02this my husband
39:03trunk me shit over dad for like forever like you could be tiny for forever which that's kind of
39:11cool but is it cool forever you know i'm just saying you know forever leverage yeah i'm not thrilled with
39:17the idea of forever uh but i currently don't have a choice so i am making peace with it are
39:23you
39:23stamping your tiny foot right now if a tiny person stamps their foot does it make a sound once again
39:28funny just thoughts okay i think i know what i'm gonna do but i want it to be a cliffhanger
39:34bye tiny mom
39:53so you're gonna hate me but then you're gonna love me i need a third option sid called oh ultimatum
39:58lindy's second book or your imprint is dead like her patience lindy doesn't have a second book or
40:03does she no she does not hell yes she does ultimatum jackie finished her novel untitled on purpose
40:10that was quick well she's prolific and driven and willing but i have a strict moral code huh so let's
40:15deal you get the book slap lindy's name on it save your imprint or my dad he doesn't know anything
40:23about this yet yeah so i did a little research and it's true jackie finished her novel and um
40:27your cowboy has a daughter and it's hell this is the hate part but like let's just focus on the
40:33love
40:33part which is what exactly whatever you choose it's an ethics test your imprint or my dad lies or love
40:52me i choose me which means i choose him whatever his name may be love the me choice hate the
40:57rhyme
40:58this is gonna be a problem first thing you've said that i respected philip dad's name's philip
41:05goes by flip flip i flipped for flip oh god that's a good day right very
41:14how does one solve the problem of feeding the world only less little john knows
41:20now what if we could take say an ear of corn and shrink it where is this jackass i can
41:26assure you
41:27he'll be here a hundred a thousand ears of corn
41:38i know i'm late i know i just i just need a minute
41:43i fell down oh really mount kilimanjaro yes practically yes
41:47hilton is going to sell the tank to the military bang the boom i said what after we solve
41:54no instead of tiny soldiers tiny missiles big surprise but i am so close i know for real i
42:02know i believe you now hilton owns the tech he's gonna do with it whatever he wants anyway but we
42:06can't be part of that so walk no run you run away i i don't think i can give them
42:16what they want
42:16you out the second government hands but not the restoration okay what about my nobel what if i'm
42:22i have ideas um it's time less you have the fate of the planet in your hands me don't fuck
42:34up
42:39i see you looking at me judging me like smug dicks but you will never judge me as harsh as
42:48i judge
42:49myself i've realized that i've been trying to live up to others expectations of me i don't know what i
42:55want for myself and i thought that was a problem but it's not it's just the process and i can
43:05figure
43:05that out here or somewhere else honestly i'm okay either way
43:25any chance you might be swinging by the airport tonight
43:42he looks fucking nuts yes quite science is not magic no there is no there is not it is work
43:54a hard work evidently it's frustration it's passion it's misery and joy and it's fear
44:03you can spend years lost wandering among the trees wishing hoping maybe even praying which
44:09goes against all established scientific understanding that maybe one day you will finally
44:13see see the forest well today's that day let's finish what we started
44:28here are my final thoughts
44:32h hat equals h bar omega times a dagger a plus one half plus
44:38this must be hat squared over two m plus two over m omega squared uh x squared which
45:07what's upside down
45:11It's inverted.
45:13Janet, invert.
45:16M omega squared, X squared, over two.
45:20Bob's, invert.
45:22Invert!
45:25Inverted.
45:26M omega squared, X squared, over two.
45:31Carl, implement.
45:56Let's make your stream.
46:22Gentle people, three minutes until the curve reaches limitless stabilization.
46:28Translation, ta-da!
46:38Fuck, I hate tape measures.
46:42Okay.
46:44It is time you knew the truth about Dr. Les Littlejohn.
47:03I did it.
47:05I did it.
47:07I did it.
47:08I did it!
47:11With a history, limitless stabilization!
47:14Yes!
47:15Translation?
47:16Hilton, the corn, not done.
47:17Let me.
47:18Let me.
47:26Delicious.
47:28Sweet and crisp.
47:30Mwah!
47:31Good job.
47:32Good job.
47:33Oh, dear.
47:36Oh, dear.
47:38Oh, dear.
47:40You okay?
47:41Ow, Les.
47:43Oh, no!
47:44Give me some!
47:45Les!
47:46Les!
47:46You okay?
47:47Give us our space!
47:47Give us our space!
47:48Ta-da!
47:51I got you!
47:53Finally!
47:53I got you!
47:54Fuck yeah, you did.
47:55Awesome, Les.
47:59Fuckin' hammer's got nothin' on you, huh?
48:07Let's talk numbers.
48:08Fuck!
48:09Let's talk numbers.
48:10Yeah.
48:19Oh, no, you didn't.
48:23Okay.
48:24I fucking hate tape measures.
48:26It is time you knew the truth about Dr. Les Little John.
48:30All right, Mills.
48:31You want to know more about Les' The Secret Project?
48:34Here I am, huh?
48:37Les.
48:39Is it the corn?
48:40Are you sick?
48:41No, it's not the corn.
48:41Somebody emailed something.
48:42Something not good to a journalist, and something's going to destroy me.
48:46Just what?
48:46Nils.
48:47Was that the journalist?
48:48Yes.
48:48How did you know?
48:49You mentioned him before.
48:50Yes.
48:50Well, I imagine what he could do if you had something on me.
48:52Something big.
48:53Small.
48:53But very big.
48:54What do I do?
48:55You've said, relax.
49:00Today is your day.
49:01No, it's our day.
49:05We did it, partners.
49:09Don't worry about Nils.
49:10Vivian's taken care of it.
49:12Nils has retired permanently.
49:15Nils is not a problem.
49:18It's not.
49:19Who sent you the email?
49:20Tell Vivian.
49:22Who is your problem?
49:24Are you going third person?
49:25I find it effective in situations such as this.
49:26Now, tell Vivian.
49:29Oh.
49:31Fine.
49:32Doesn't matter who.
49:35Sometimes, when someone threatens the most important thing in the world to you, you have
49:40no choice but to eliminate them.
49:43Because the someone who would do something like that is never going to stop.
49:49You are going to have to stop them.
49:53Does that scare you?
49:54No.
49:55Yes.
49:56No.
49:56A little.
49:57I'm not suggesting you physically murder someone.
49:59Did you think that?
50:00No.
50:00Yes.
50:02No.
50:02A little.
50:02No.
50:03I'm only suggesting.
50:04Just creative.
50:06Why, yes.
50:07Yet creative.
50:08And then, leave the rest to fate.
50:13Fate makes its own choices.
50:16Fate.
50:18Yes, that is creative.
50:21Come on, Nils.
50:23Woo!
50:29Write me back.
50:30Write me back, Nils.
50:31Jesus.
50:33Come on, Nils.
50:37Libby.
50:39Libby, I have a surprise for you.
50:42I'm unarmed.
50:44There's no tricks up these sleeves.
50:45I come bringing tidings to great joy.
50:48I solved the restoration formula.
50:50I can make you big again.
50:52If that's something you're interested in.
51:00You want to celebrate?
51:03I've decided.
51:04We're keeping him.
51:05Yeah.
51:06He won't play ball.
51:07You don't know that.
51:08I do, actually.
51:10That's kind of my thing.
51:11Just fire him.
51:12I can get him to play.
51:14Les's brain is a valuable asset to us.
51:16More valuable than mine?
51:17Or yours?
51:18You're making me choose.
51:19You're making me choose.
51:20Well, then we should both choose wisely.
51:28What?
51:29I'm not even blocking you.
51:30Just go around.
51:37You better not be fucking with me.
51:39Oh, no.
51:39It's true.
51:40I did it.
51:41I remain a literal genius.
51:42Look.
51:43I miniaturized and restored Mr. Magoo.
51:47How's that proof I never saw him tiny?
51:48I hate that cat.
51:49That's funny.
51:50He told me he hates you too.
51:52What's that, Magoo?
51:53Huh?
51:55You're hungry?
51:57Poor thing.
51:58He's been through a lot.
52:00What am I saying?
52:01What am I saying?
52:01You know.
52:01Sort of.
52:02Well, gotta feed him.
52:04He ain't humane not to, right?
52:06You know, Dr. Carmichael said that I can't force change on you, so I'm having second thoughts
52:12about making you big.
52:13I think I've learned that I have to accept you for who you are, the way you are, and that
52:19you're never going to stop.
52:21I gotta eat myself.
52:22Worked up quite the appetite.
52:23I think I deserve a good meal.
52:24Well, and so I bid you farewell, and I wish you the best of luck.
52:32I'll leave it up to fate.
52:45Good kitty.
52:47Easy, Magoo.
52:48Easy.
52:49Easy.
52:58Magoo, stop!
52:59Dad, man!
53:00Stop!
53:01Oh, shit!
53:04So be honest, when I took a bite of the sweet corn, did you think I was going to explode?
53:07Did you?
53:08You didn't?
53:08Did I?
53:08I don't know.
53:09I mean, I mean, not really.
53:10But, you know, I was thinking, um, trust the math.
53:12Trust the math.
53:13That's all right.
53:13Oh, did you see Hilton?
53:14Did you see his face?
53:15Was he scared?
53:15I didn't see-
53:16Let's not focus on Hilton.
53:16Yeah, fuck that guy.
53:17Let's focus on me instead.
53:18Let's focus on us.
53:20Yeah, I'm the fucking golden boy.
53:21Cheers to me.
53:22Cheers to us.
53:23And everything we want to accomplish together.
53:27You know, I can't believe it.
53:28I mean, I can't believe it, but I can't believe it because, you know, I did make fun in history.
53:30If only Lindy could see me now, right?
53:33Lindy?
53:33Yeah, you know, I saw her in my science thoughts at the podium.
53:37On that cocktail napkin, when she turned it right side up, bang, that was it.
53:40I got it.
53:41Invert.
53:41Lindy.
53:42Hmm?
53:43Helped you with science.
53:45Yeah, I guess.
53:47You know, cheers to me, again.
53:50You're not really eating.
53:51You're ill.
53:51Yeah, so do I a little bit.
53:52In my stomach.
53:53I think it's excitement.
53:54Les, we shared.
53:57We got personal.
53:58Mm-hmm.
53:59We have secrets.
54:02I thought we were partners.
54:03A scientist standing in front of another scientist.
54:06Yeah, of course.
54:07You helped.
54:08Helped?
54:09Yeah.
54:09Like Lindy helped.
54:12You both helped.
54:13But I plan on thanking you in my acceptance speech on when I win the Nobel and not Lindy.
54:18And then everyone will know that you contributed and not Lindy.
54:21And that's very important to me.
54:23Not Lindy is more important to you than us.
54:28Not really following.
54:29Exactly.
54:36I think you should collect your things.
54:37Uh, from what?
54:38From here?
54:39From the office.
54:39Oh, yes.
54:40Good idea.
54:40We need more space.
54:41We do.
54:42In a way.
54:43Excuse me a moment.
54:46Can I, uh, where do you have anything else?
54:49I'm done.
55:00Is she leaving?
55:12Fuck.
55:15What's my stuff?
55:17Hey!
55:18I know you can see me.
55:19Open the fucking door.
55:22My ID's not working.
55:27Where's Mr. Magoo?
55:28Did you let me in?
55:30Where is Mr. Magoo?
55:33Is this about a cat?
55:35I want my tiny cat back.
55:38I restored him.
55:39I took him home.
55:40It's fucking Lindy's cat.
55:41I hate that cat.
55:42I don't know who you are.
55:46Are you going to let me in?
55:49Oh, fuck this!
55:56Think you can lock me out, motherfuckers?
55:59It's my fucking mouth!
56:01Mine!
56:13What was the plan here?
56:16My ID didn't work.
56:18And you were going to drive through the lobby?
56:22Yeah.
56:25You didn't listen.
56:27I tried.
56:28I was passionate about it.
56:30I cursed.
56:31I warned you about these people.
56:33You did.
56:34You dummy.
56:36Now it's over.
56:38Hilton has everything.
56:41We have nothing.
56:45Well, I...
56:46I couldn't help it.
56:47It's my life's work.
56:48I had to do it.
56:51Les, the Nobel was never on the table.
56:54They were always going to steal your tack.
56:57Martin, without the Nobel, I'm not worthy.
57:03Worthy of what?
57:09Her.
57:11Lindy.
57:14I needed Lindy to be proud of me.
57:19Lindy's the only person who's ever really got me.
57:22Seen me.
57:25Lindy.
57:27She didn't get her out of my head.
57:29She's everywhere.
57:34Oh, God.
57:36Oh, fuck.
57:37Oh, fuck.
57:38Oh.
57:39What?
57:39I can't keep up.
57:40Can you get back in there?
57:41What did I just say?
57:43I have to get the formula.
57:43Oh, fuck, fuck.
57:44I can't go home without it.
57:45I need a ride.
57:45No, you're going to have to take an Uber because I got Dana.
57:47No, you're going to fucking drive me home.
57:49Fucking now.
57:49This is life or death mark.
57:50For real this time.
57:51For really, really, real.
57:52Magoo could eat her.
57:53The cat.
57:54What do you mean?
57:55I'll explain to you and Dana later.
57:56You're going to drive me.
57:57Come on.
57:57Why?
57:58What are you?
58:14Richie!
58:18Come on.
58:20Okay.
58:21Okay.
58:21The fat lady has a son, man.
58:23Okay?
58:23You're alive.
58:24You're alive.
58:25Wrong one.
58:25But I just try to reconcile him as the husband and less the scientist.
58:28What drives a man?
58:29There's this generational compassion towards science and yet the selfish helplessness towards
58:32his wife.
58:33I just...
58:34Tell me.
58:34Why?
58:35I'm asking you again.
58:36Why less?
58:37Richie.
58:38What?
58:38No, no, no.
58:38This is not the time for this.
58:40Why marry a man?
58:43Richie!
58:44Richie!
58:45Over here!
58:45I know it don't also level the sacrifiy.
58:45Your manos and mind, but my chi thank you.
58:45There you go.
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