- 10 hours ago
The Neighborhood S08E17 SYNCOPY
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00:00come on Malcolm it's gonna be a blast it's fine Marty I am happy to be kicking
00:06off our bachelor party at a theme park it is not a theme park the Camelot
00:12experience is a theme restaurant set in the glory days of the reign of King
00:17Arthur where gallantry and magic were the order of the day you know I thought I
00:24was gonna regret not being able to go listen okay this is perfect for bachelor
00:31party the ale winches their bosoms are practically bursting out of their
00:37bodices Wow Marty you mean I get to see the top of boobs you know if you went to
00:47the jiggle hut on sloths and you get to see the whole thing let's have some of
00:51those lemon pepper wings I know you're not talking about the jiggle hut to my
00:56babies Marty brought it up well no Malcolm's been there I can't believe
01:04your dog sitting for Mercedes this is your life now thank you guys so much for
01:14your dog sitting Coco oh no our pleasure we have to where is Coco oh right here
01:23that's it that's the whole dog oh she's adorable that's not a dog that's a hamster that made a
01:33witch hey everybody Dave say hi to Coco oh hey Coco yeah my folks a dog sitting
01:39while we go on our bachelor and bachelorette parties speaking of bad news I'm not gonna
01:45be able to make your bachelor party uh Dave you weren't invited if you remember
01:51Marty's last bachelor party you had two jello shots and turn into Dave the douche it
01:57wasn't that bad it was a nightmare I can't believe you did that okay well I have to be
02:03on call for my telehealth gig anyway so I'm not gonna be able to make it don't beg me yeah
02:08you
02:08got it so Marty you got a medieval Kate picked out for your night at Camelot well I know you
02:20are
02:20making fun of me but yes yes I do I'm glad you guys are having a nice clean bachelor party
02:26oh I bet
02:27you are you know Garnett her ex-husband his bachelor party oh they had to blur out everything
02:39and so all this stuff is for one little dog yeah and if she doesn't sleep on her memory foam
02:44mattress
02:45she wakes up cranky that's what happens when you buy a pure breed well in my day you didn't buy
02:52a dog
02:53you got a dog like bingo he was chasing me home from school one day he was trying to bite
03:00me and I
03:00was running and I got caught in the corner and then he was looking at me I was looking at
03:04him and I had a
03:05little piece of Slim Jim and I threw it at him and he ate it boom I had a dog
03:22oh hell no how many times I gotta tell you you can sleep in your orthopedic bed the basket or
03:29your
03:29little Malibu dream house but the chair is mine go on now what part of go now don't you understand
03:40yeah but she's probably exhausted I had to flush out her ears with antifungal foam she fought me to
03:47the nail and trust me that little dog is a lot stronger than she looks dog that's not a dog
03:53bingo was a
03:57dog this one time a raccoon tried to drag my little brother into the woods right and bingo
04:04bingo said right on my watch not on my watch he said that did he yeah and then he chased
04:14that raccoon up a
04:15hundred foot fire tree all the way to the top there's no way he did that look the point is
04:25is
04:26that that dog saved Curtis's life okay this dog well she wears a purple vest so she don't get cold
04:39what'd I tell you by my chair huh what'd I said by my chair go here okay yeah that's where
04:47you belong
04:52oh okay okay all right so this is what you do you just send people laps I don't think so
05:09oh okay okay walking at the mailman I like that this big dog energy right there
05:19all right I think we're all good for tomorrow I mean the sprint event will be here at six dinner's
05:24at
05:24six-thirty go-kart tracks at nine the only thing left to do is hire the strippers what strippers the
05:34ones you asked for no we didn't ask for strippers in fact we explicitly said no strippers well somebody
05:40asked for them was it you trade it was somebody look regardless it's better to have strippers and not
05:50need them then they need strippers and not have them no strippers got it strippers TBD anyway I am so
06:02psyched for this party it's gonna be way better than my last bachelor party are you kidding that party
06:07was dope we had steaks cigars a party bus man that's how you send your man off to get married
06:12except I
06:14called off the wedding at the end of the night well you was horrible for me top five this time
06:23is
06:23totally different okay Courtney and I have a daughter together we live together we know how compatible we
06:29are when this he was just too impulsive like we'd only really known each other for a few months yeah
06:32you know what there's no way you can get to know a person that fast uh well well uh you
06:38know it uh it
06:39does depend on the person well yeah yeah I'm not talking about you I mean a few months is plenty
06:44for you and Mercedes I'm here you guys are totally different yep yeah very very different you damn
06:48right we we different yeah how like that cheese you get you a little piece of cheese you like that
07:02cheese don't you you know what's better than cheese belly rose oh I like that belly oh I'll go to
07:14the
07:14scram mutt yeah what'd I tell you about my chair uh-huh oh you're on dog duty I'm going to
07:24the
07:24barbershop oh no no no Jimmy and I get mani-pedis you'll have to take her with you I can't
07:29go into
07:30that barbershop with ratatouille hey Tina guess what Dave has very generously offered to drive us to
07:38the salon and sit with us while we get our nails done oh that yeah that's not gonna work for
07:44me
07:44Dave just needs to get out of the house he's been sitting in front of his laptop all day this
07:48job is
07:48killing me I spent the last six hours just shoveling people through the system you know I thought I was
07:52gonna get a chance to really use my therapy skills it's like they're keeping Michael Jordan on the
07:57bench well Calvin can take him to the barbershop oh thank you what what did I do I got the
08:07dog and Dave
08:12how come Butler get married I never thought I'd see the date well I mean I always knew I would
08:16get
08:17married someday that happened so fast not so fast I mean three months do you even know her last name
08:25yes I know her last name do you know her middle name obviously oh my god Calvin's got a purse
08:43dog
08:45uh this is not a purse uh daddy it kind of looks like a purse oh is a suitcase a
08:50purse is a bag full
08:52of guns a purse Calvin ignore them you your man card is fully intact there is nothing unmanly about a
09:01poodle in a purse okay Dave would you stop helping please I I can't help it it's what I do
09:08you know we
09:09therapists have a term for what they're doing it's called projection and it's born of insecurity I felt
09:15good Jordan for three okay everybody give my pops a break all right that's not his dog it's my fiancee's
09:24oh
09:24yeah what's the dog's name damn it I knew this the dog's name is Coco Coco it's okay to be
09:36upset Calvin
09:37those guys found a vulnerability in you and they zeroed in on it you know that's what bullies do I
09:44know
09:45the bully but not to sweet little doggies you know what I think I don't think this is about you
09:54being humiliated at the barbershop I think you have formed an attachment to this dog and I think we
10:00should unpack that absolutely not no one lets me unpack anything anymore I'll get it hey is this the
10:13Butler residence we're actually in the middle of something right now no we're not Dave do you not
10:20know who this is that's Garnett Winters three-time pro bowler holds all the records and receptions
10:27aren't you also on trophy divas you're a Mercedes ex-husband that I am oh well if you're here to
10:33fight
10:33hey Malcolm just know it's not gonna be one-on-one we jumping in oh no I have to fight
10:41both of you
10:41guys don't worry man me and Malcolm are cool Garnett Winters is a lover not a fighter huh well that's
10:49good
10:49to know so what can Calvin Butler do for Garnett Winters you can give me my dog back oh Calvin
10:56Butler
10:57can't do that I'm sorry Mercedes didn't tell you I might come by to pick up Coco she did not
11:06typical
11:08uh let's go Coco yeah we still have time to make our swim class you know she won't be getting
11:16in any
11:16pool today I just did her hair Garnett Calvin has formed an unusual bond with Coco we were about to
11:25start unpacking it the hell we were whose car is that I mean what kind of nut job buys an
11:34electric
11:34Rolls-Royce the rich handsome environmentally conscious kind hey how you doing I'm Garnett oh
11:41we know who you are we hate you well he's here to take Coco what oh no no no no
11:53no no no no that is
11:54not gonna work I'm sorry this is my dog how is this not gonna work we don't trust you and
12:01we
12:01don't trust a man who pushes little Andy Cohen off a stand-up paddleboard nobody pushes Andy Cohen off
12:07a stand-up paddleboard Mercedes trusted us with her dog that's right and we're not giving Coco to
12:15anyone without her say so nope and maybe not even being Burnett Calvin has fallen in love with
12:23I love the dog it's my dog mine not yours I don't think y'all understand how lonely a 12
12:35-bedroom penthouse
12:37feels when you're sitting there by yourself ever since Mercedes took away my visitation rights my life
12:43has been empty I miss the sound of the ticky ticky ticky little feet on my custom Italian marble floor
12:54Garnett you let it out thank you thank you the man can't have everything custom Italian marble floors
13:01electric Rolls Royce I'll keep in the dog Malcolm oh hey Marty what's up nothing man I'm just uh I'm
13:18playing connect four oh okay well that is a perfectly reasonable thing to do in the middle of your bachelor
13:25party
13:29there we are enjoying the Camelot experience reveling and joust eating our Excaliburgers and I turn
13:37around and you are gone I just needed a minute Marty you've been gone for an hour I had a
13:44panic attack
13:44why look man at your bachelor party not this one the other one when did you know it wasn't gonna
13:53work
13:53out wait you think you and Mercedes are like me and Nisi that's just it Marty I don't know you
14:00know
14:01just like I don't know her middle name or her favorite color or the name of her first pet we're
14:05trying to marry the girl and steal identity I'm just saying Marty am I being reckless you know man was
14:14I
14:14so determined to prove that I could commit to somebody that I just I don't know I just rushed into
14:19this
14:24I lost again and won you are playing against yourself you also won
14:33just like you are winning with Mercedes look man can I give you some tough love yeah
14:45Malcolm you have been running from serious relationships for years not some of them thank
14:50God I mean Katrina whoa don't say her name yeah I still got a block on socials but now you
14:56found
14:56something real like really real and I don't want to see you running again you are never ever gonna do
15:08better than Mercedes not if you live to be 300 she's smart she's beautiful and she's so nice you can't
15:15even
15:16tell that she is filthy rich and she loves you I love her and yeah and move fast man but
15:29you know when
15:31you know you know and you know oh I know I know I know you know you know oh my
15:37god
15:41Claudette excuse me that's Mercedes middle name Claudette okay look all the guys at the barbershop can suck it
15:50yes they can yeah now will you please stop playing connect forward with yourself and marry that girl
15:55before she comes to her senses Marty thank you and I couldn't ask for a better brother that's what
16:05brothers are for I love you man I don't know maybe Mercedes and I were never really happy Garnett this
16:17is
16:17good we're really starting to unpack this other people could learn from your willingness to be
16:21vulnerable I don't know who you're talking about but they are not here hey why is there an electric
16:29rolls out front because you took the McLaren in the divorce oh my god what is he doing here oh
16:36do not
16:36give him the dog trust me he's not getting the dog because we're your real friends Mercedes
16:46okay um why are you back so early oh glamping was a terrible idea there were so many bats Sienna
16:52got
16:53drunk and fell on a cactus Aurelia got stung by a scorpion in her brand new boobs I'm gonna have
17:01to
17:01start watching this show we had a custody agreement Garnett we were gonna share Coco and then you went and
17:08brought her to Aruba on my week she had fun and I got her cute little snorkel guys if I
17:16may can we
17:17please show Garnett some grace here does he have issues yes does he manipulate people with his charm
17:23and million-dollar smile oh stop it it is in short yes but he is feeling grief he lost a
17:34companion that
17:35showed him love and he's committed to working on himself yes I am I really am
17:44ah man I hate to do this but I agree with Dave I mean a sweet little dog like this
17:52can feel holes you
17:54didn't even know you had Bingo Bingo was his name oh he was the best damn dog I ever met
18:05you know and I
18:07didn't know how much I was missing that feeling until I met Coco here well she is a special dog
18:14she's the
18:15only thing I've ever truly loved gee thanks you know one time this big guy tried to steal my bike
18:24right and Bingo was not having any of that no no he bit off his pinky and he kept it
18:30in his mouth all the
18:31way home and Bingo was so proud proud proud is Bingo real I have no idea get to your point
18:44Calvin yeah
18:45yeah but I mean what the point is is that even the manliest man can benefit from having a little
18:52buddy
18:53just like this especially if he's feeling alone oh I guess we can try shared custody again thank you
19:03Mercedes Dave thank you so much well thank you for allowing me to use my gift Jordan with the buzzer
19:10beater so wish okay let's go go go give me a minute you write my bad
19:23you know Coco we had a special time so don't be sad you know be happy that we get this
19:37really so I guess all them belly rubs didn't mean a damn thing
19:44so y'all think because I got a little dog I'm not tough
19:48I got blindsided by Ray Lewis across the middle yeah you know I remember that game I lost my
19:55parlay when you fumbled it was prime Ray Lewis yeah yeah listen if that would happen to me I would
20:01walk straight off the field and then to my car oh and give yourself some credit the league has
20:06nothing on those trophy divas you never seen somebody in the NFL get hit with a stiletto
20:11you know I once knew the toughest dog in the whole damn world oh bingo once ate a whole beehive
20:27that's
20:27awesome and then when he burped hornets came out of the beehive that's not the same thing hornets came out
20:34of the beehive you in there
20:36you didn't see it well don't let it was aślęetz came out
20:41we ready to see you
20:42you
20:46you
20:47where you
20:47where you
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