- 1 day ago
- #bait
#Bait S01E03 [Full Movie] [English Subs]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:07Captions by www.mbot.nl
00:08It's your boy!
00:09M.T. Travis...
00:10Inside!
00:12Who's on?!
00:13Rumpster!
00:14Capfurn!
00:14Rumpster!
00:24Packing!
00:41I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:46got to stick with family.
00:46Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shitstorm you
00:50created.
00:50Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and ritual.
00:54Hmm. I reckon it will help them visualise me as Bond.
00:57Okay. Well, there is a lot of chat. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're insane.
01:01This could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
01:06Saju, come on.
01:08Mommy, have you met Felicia?
01:10This is the team.
01:11Oh, this is your agent.
01:15Mommy, remember I said wait in the car and I'm going to get the sweet tea?
01:19No, give me a ticket, cousin.
01:21Felicia.
01:22What's going on?
01:23Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
01:25Oh, that only auntie's waiting for you.
01:27You're a disgrace.
01:28Felicia, you're going to get him the job, yes.
01:31If it kills me.
01:33My Shahjee is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:35Okay.
01:35When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:37Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember Shahjee?
01:41Oh, how specific?
01:42I don't remember that.
01:43Oh, look, he's got the military.
01:46Oh, just be a minute, okay?
01:47Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:48Bye, Mr. Kee.
01:49You're a black lady.
01:54I'm sorry.
01:56You are a black lady.
01:58I know.
02:01What the fuck is this?
02:03You told me.
02:10Oh, you know what? I can't get into this right now.
02:12Okay, listen, none of this, none of this matters, okay?
02:15No one reads the fucking news.
02:17However, this is a big problem.
02:20The person you assaulted, you broke his arm, and now he wants an apology.
02:24Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
02:26but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
02:29and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
02:32Assaulted?
02:33This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
02:36It was a can of spray paint, Shahjee.
02:38Yeah, in hindsight.
02:39I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:41Okay, fine, just give him his apology.
02:42Okay, good.
02:43All right, so how are you going to do?
02:44Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:47On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:49Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:52My mum usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:54That's on me, so I can't be dealing with this.
02:56I have to be with the fan today.
02:58I have to make it right.
02:58This is about your career, Shah.
03:00Your credibility in your community,
03:02for the people that you say you're doing all of this for.
03:08Does he got more followers on me?
03:10Shah!
03:12Shah Latif here.
03:14Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
03:16I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
03:19You might have heard about it or seen it.
03:21Well, I lived it.
03:22And I want you to know that in that moment,
03:24I wasn't thinking at all.
03:26I was acting out of sheer instinct.
03:30Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
03:33And I would never take it for granted.
03:36And there's nothing more painful to me
03:38than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:41And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way
03:44hurts me deeply.
03:45You're good, yeah?
03:47Yeah, I'm good.
03:48You're good.
03:50So you've come to visit us, lonely villagers.
03:55Oxford educated.
03:56But no sense.
03:58Why did you attack that young man?
03:59Don't listen to him.
04:00Come.
04:01Let's take a selfie.
04:03And I want you to know
04:04that I'm going to do everything in my power
04:06to make up for it
04:07and to make it rightful.
04:09Right?
04:10Should have won black.
04:12Hmm?
04:13It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
04:17Hmm?
04:18It is my day.
04:19It belongs to all Muslims.
04:21Mummy.
04:21It's mine.
04:22And she took it.
04:23You know one thing she doesn't have?
04:25What?
04:27Hassan.
04:28Salim.
04:29You know, golden boy.
04:31I stood to buy a big shot.
04:33Always trying to compete with you.
04:35Bad shot.
04:36Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
04:38Don't talk filthy.
04:42Orbita.
04:44She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:46You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:48If we just...
04:49Come on.
04:51You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:53Mungi Naila.
04:54Naughty Naila.
04:55Oh, my God.
04:56Naughty Naila.
04:57She always shows skin
04:59because she's got no style.
05:01Look, where is she?
05:01She's probably too busy
05:02checking herself out in the mirror
05:04to come host her own party.
05:05Beautiful, Bladda.
05:06Oh, such a beautiful woman.
05:09Thank you so much for having me.
05:15Mmm.
05:18Oh, my God.
05:19Samina.
05:20It's Mubarak.
05:21Oh, it's Mubarak.
05:23So happy you could come.
05:25We've decided to co-host this year.
05:27His brother, you've made a great job, Tahira.
05:30But you know Naughty Naila.
05:31How do you do it?
05:32She doesn't do it.
05:34She doesn't do it.
05:34She doesn't do it for decoration.
05:35She's in Shaju's penthouse here.
05:39The Quran says charity is a blessing.
05:41Eat in the garden.
05:42Please, eat it.
05:43It's Mubarak.
05:47What the fuck?
05:48Don't leave my sight.
05:49Okay.
05:50Don't leave my sight.
05:52Eat Mubarak.
05:54He's coming.
05:55Hello, ladies.
05:56Eat Mubarak.
05:58Eat Mubarak.
05:59What is my seat?
06:00Seat, right?
06:02In the seat seat.
06:04Now he has passed.
06:05You're the eldest.
06:06No, thank you.
06:07I'm fine standing.
06:09Baba.
06:09Go you a favor.
06:11Don't tell mommy, yeah?
06:12Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
06:13By raising the blood sugar?
06:16Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
06:19May I let him go?
06:22Maybe.
06:22Yeah, maybe.
06:23Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
06:24Something with Mayra Khan in it.
06:26No, no.
06:26You would do me.
06:27I'll mention that to you.
06:29You're the one who's going to kill us.
06:33I don't know.
06:34I don't know.
06:43Sure, good first try, good first try.
06:46But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:49First, you forgot to say the words, I'm sorry.
06:51Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:53He's buff, no?
06:55Keith says he's gone mental.
06:56Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:58All right, sorry, can you man focus, please?
07:00This is the latest.
07:02Well, this guy likes you.
07:05Hmm.
07:07Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop,
07:11it's their community, like, ten times.
07:13It feels like you're begging it.
07:14Maybe down the brow.
07:16I don't get it.
07:17What is the problem?
07:18I like you.
07:18It's not, man.
07:19I'm 22, mate.
07:21What were you trying to get wife-ed off?
07:22Get it to me sooner rather than later.
07:25This is not going away.
07:27Hi, everyone.
07:28Shah Latif here.
07:29Now, last night at the King's Museum,
07:31a brother and I came into conflict.
07:34Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
07:37And the brother in question, perhaps,
07:39should not have run at me with a metal object
07:42the way that he did.
07:44Nuba is a community-led...
07:46It's not fucking community-led.
07:48The fact is, we're all in this together.
07:50And in the future, I promise to use my platform
07:52not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:57Nuba is full of...
08:00You want some chai or something?
08:02No.
08:04Nuba...
08:04Bro, we good?
08:05I'm good.
08:06Are you good?
08:06Yeah, I'm good, bro.
08:07We good.
08:07I'm good.
08:08Are you good?
08:09Yeah, I'm good.
08:09I'm good, then.
08:11Nuba, not Nuba.
08:12What are you doing?
08:12Trying to focus, man.
08:14You are distracting me.
08:15All right.
08:16Yes.
08:17Yo, they got them little laddus over there
08:18with the pink and green balls on it.
08:19You want them?
08:20Big man, please.
08:21I don't want laddus right now, OK?
08:22I just want to concentrate.
08:24Aren't you supposed to be holding it on me's hand?
08:26Oh, yeah.
08:27Shit.
08:28In a bit, yeah?
08:29Don't bring me no laddus.
08:29Well, before that, you know.
08:33Need the baby.
08:34Come on, talk about chai.
08:36Hey.
08:38Yeah, I got it.
08:39Sounding gone, sounding gone.
08:40You came in there?
08:41Where have you been?
08:41I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
08:44Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
08:46So if I just die standing here alone...
08:48Please, please don't do this now.
08:50You left me.
08:51I'm sorry.
08:52I'm not going to get up to you.
08:53My name!
08:54My Salim is coming!
09:00Salim!
09:01Mirabascha!
09:05Salim!
09:10Salim!
09:12Salim!
09:31Ah, Peter!
09:34Look, Mr. Tsubai.
09:36Oh, I'm feeling like that.
09:37Look at him, the dancing monkey, doing his mother's dirty bidding, making Russian prostitution
09:42it is pregnant look no he's not mommy that was a joke that i just made
09:45oh look at that fresh spray zulfi weakest of us all yeah i'm good man i'm good don't leave
09:55shaju she's coming don't leave can i borrow your mommy for a minute i need my co-host in the
10:00kitchen
10:00okay we're just gonna okay okay no no let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go
10:08our kpi is the most interesting thing about this okay it's the retention of the customer base
10:12after that discount period you know it's off the charts people want more community driven ride
10:16share options yes salim yes what are you saying bro yes look at this guy you good yeah come join
10:23us
10:23man yeah yeah i was good doing that anyway yeah i got you some loaders bro thank you thank you
10:27yeah that's how i never got your number how you been i've been good bro yeah you've been breaking
10:31shit what do you mean by that glass ceilings thank you try it man trying and that guy's arm
10:40it's just a fracture hey just to bring this back to what we're talking about before you got here
10:44yeah um you know our number of drivers are growing by the day we'll be in all key five bars
10:49by june so
10:50moobah sick idea innit i've been there from day one i remember bro i'm so proud of this guy
10:54customer is so proud and you know what's amazing he's always been an entrepreneur
10:57if anything you just went from selling grams to instagram
11:05just out of interest what was the what's your credit situation with the criminal record and
11:09everything no no problems whatsoever no issues and just for clarity um i didn't go inside for
11:15selling mall it's not just five bit of island disorder it was your self-defense it was in a way
11:20he's a ride or die and he was there for me any credit issues though no credit issues because i'm
11:24going
11:24all in with everything that i've got right so if you need any credit you need financing just talk to
11:29me sorry just i was done the impression we were coming in seed round rather than source series a
11:35see this conversation here this is in fact the closest he's been to the business all right
11:41it's too close okay give me back my dildos then
11:47uh even for me personally the most important quality about moobah is in fact the quality of the
11:53relationships we're not just there for them when we want because that's bullshit that's fake
12:00get the off me bro i don't know
12:05and anyway i've always had a passion for customer services it's my thing that's one thing i picked up
12:09in dubai that's what we do best hospitality that's our culture one might say like the muslim way of
12:15doing business i love the idea i'm going to present it to the guys see what they say well you're
12:20taking
12:20this you're trying to get investment from dubai yeah okay yeah you've been no no i'm just saying
12:30you know dubai works for people with you know all like with the but i mean what the fuck's this
12:34guy
12:34gonna do in dubai man he ain't gonna let you in bro you don't want to go there man i'm
12:38all in yeah
12:39remember that he was disrespectful he referred to your quiff like that there was no need
12:46they lose good sure got your second apology yeah that's not gonna work first of all what was up
12:53with that background if you post that you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich
12:58asshole also you forgot to say sorry again what the first class in tazam kia naila
13:07next year read this back at yours no no absolutely yes very kind of you to step in this year
13:12my life taira bura mat mano sab kush teek hai na karme
13:19thank you me kush ne just because uh
13:23i was watching shanju and i thought i worry for him for all of you it's so much pressure that's
13:32very kind of you to worry i see a bit of your sister in him
13:44does shajan have someone you can talk to he has me
13:48rukaiya had you too but she needed more help na but bichariya anything she doesn't know anything she
13:55was i love please it's all good my son is going to be the next james bond we all couldn't
14:01be more proud
14:07it's okay to talk about these struggles now really
14:12thank you thank you it's all good it's first class
14:35it's first class
14:37foreign
14:50foreign
14:51foreign
14:51foreign
14:52foreign
15:04It's true, but it's true.
15:12Shah, we need that apology.
15:14We're running out of time.
15:15I've literally written it out for you.
15:17Just find a quiet, neutral room.
15:20Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late, okay?
15:27For fuck's sake.
15:47Am I interacting, Sammy?
15:49Yeah.
15:51A conversation.
15:54Can you fucking close the door, please?
15:57Is this like you two...
15:59I like her.
16:00Texting.
16:01Wow.
16:02So how long has this been going on?
16:03Six months.
16:04Three months?
16:06Okay, so this is nothing.
16:07Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
16:09I'm chill.
16:09I'm not going to tell anyone.
16:10Why don't I come here?
16:11Can we not do this in front of Shah?
16:12I came here for you.
16:13But I never asked you to, did I?
16:15But I asked me to.
16:16I never...
16:16Calm down.
16:18I never fucking asked you to.
16:19And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
16:21This is the whole problem.
16:21So just to clarify, you didn't come here to see Zilfie then for the thing?
16:24No.
16:25Yes.
16:25Does he know, by the way?
16:26No, no.
16:27Fuck's sake.
16:27Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
16:29I'm not going to say anything.
16:30I've got your back.
16:30I've got your back.
16:32Look, we don't have to tell anyone, but let's just be real about what this is, because
16:36this is, this is something, right?
16:38Me and you both know it.
16:39What does that even mean, bro?
16:41You, you live a million miles away, okay?
16:44You have a whole life.
16:45You have fucking house keys, car keys, so, so many keys, okay?
16:49I have one key.
16:50I can give you keys.
16:51I don't want your keys, okay?
16:53I want mine.
16:54Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective?
16:56From my own more mature experience, yeah?
16:59I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
17:02All right?
17:03All right.
17:04Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
17:06There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
17:11All right?
17:12Yeah?
17:12You can relate, right?
17:13You send a message, a heartfelt one.
17:16Instead of it going green, it goes gray.
17:19What does that mean to you?
17:21It means you're blocked.
17:24Fuck off, really.
17:25Yeah.
17:27Let me just show you this.
17:28Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
17:29I'll show you this quickly?
17:30No, no, no.
17:30Oi.
17:32Don't say anything to anyone.
17:33I'm chill.
17:36Saleem, yeah?
17:40He's not fucking chill.
17:41Come on.
17:43Come on.
17:48With Sai gone, who will lead the prayer?
17:50Pasha?
17:51Okay.
17:52Well, he recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
17:56How will you?
17:57Seated?
17:57I won't be seated.
17:58Well, where's by?
17:59Think about it.
17:59Let someone else lead.
18:01Listen, you asswipes.
18:03I can run circles around you idiots.
18:05I will lead.
18:13By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment, Shah Latifah's
18:19exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
18:21And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor, he's
18:26somehow liberating all of us.
18:28And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
18:43Allahu akbar, allahu akbar, la ilaha illa Allah, Allahu akbar.
18:53Hey, Shah Latifah here.
18:56I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
19:00Unavoidable and I'm deeply sorry.
19:03Hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking pathetic.
19:07Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:08Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:09Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
19:11Shah Latif here.
19:12Last night at the King's Museum, I...
19:15fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object
19:17and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
19:24Hi, Shah Latif here.
19:26Literally nothing to apologize for.
19:28Trying to save my career and my life.
19:30So fuck you and your little TikTok.
19:32You little...
19:38Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
20:04Hello?
20:07Yeah, hi, is this Sid?
20:09Uh, yeah. Hi.
20:11Hi, this is Shah Latif.
20:13Is it?
20:15Actually...
20:15Yeah, it is actually.
20:16Bro, I just want to say...
20:18I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
20:24No excuses.
20:25I was bang out of order.
20:29I just don't know what came over me.
20:30I really hope you can find it in your heart to...
20:35Please forgive me.
20:36Yo, man.
20:38I appreciate this, man.
20:40Like, I really do.
20:41I was going to call my lawyers.
20:42Um, but then the fact you called, man.
20:45Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
20:47I can't tell you how much this means, man.
20:49Legit.
20:53Well...
20:53Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
20:56Like, in a recording?
20:59Sorry?
21:00I need the engagement, bro.
21:02Right.
21:03I mean, I...
21:04I guess so.
21:05Nice, Ryan.
21:06Appreciate it.
21:07Alright.
21:07Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
21:09Just remember,
21:10keep the vid under 90 for the algorithm, yeah?
21:14Mm-hmm.
21:14I will do.
21:15Alright, see you.
21:37What happened?
21:38He fell.
21:39Why wasn't he praying on a chair already?
21:41Shush.
21:41Oh, you want to sit down?
21:42Come.
21:43Easy, easy.
21:44How about how's your breathing, okay?
21:46You okay?
21:47Huh?
21:47Why didn't you sit in now?
21:48Well, now you want to be involved.
21:49What the fuck's that supposed to be?
21:50I'm doing something inside.
21:51You for yourself.
21:51Don't come at me.
21:52You always fucking want to be the hero,
21:54and you're never around.
21:54Ah, Joe.
21:55Alright, alright.
21:55Come here, mate.
21:56Huh?
21:57Baba?
21:58Is anyone getting any water?
21:59Yeah.
22:00Uncle, do you want to get a blanket or something?
22:04What?
22:05Are you good, bro?
22:07Bro?
22:07Are you good?
22:08Are you dumb?
22:10He's a fucking diabetic,
22:12and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
22:14Shabaj, bit up.
22:15Shabaj, just fuck off again, yeah?
22:16You better when I'm not around,
22:17that's what you're saying.
22:18No, no, what?
22:18He's not my dad, he's your dad.
22:19Shabaj.
22:20Huh?
22:21You know what?
22:22You think you're a fucking bad man.
22:23How?
22:24Fucking, yeah, my people is my...
22:26How the fuck you gonna help your people,
22:27if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
22:31It's okay with me,
22:31you're just crying about it last night, bro.
22:33What, you came in to take care of me?
22:34You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
22:35I saw you giving out your little business cards,
22:37and some sweating old minicap driver, bro.
22:38Shut up, blow it, blow it, bro.
22:40He's a leech, man.
22:41You've been leeching off me my whole life.
22:42Oh, you know how you're trying to leech off this dickhead?
22:44Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas,
22:46he's trying to chirps your little sister.
22:48What?
22:48Only chirpsing.
22:49I love her.
22:50What the fuck, man?
22:51Are you fucking, are you mad?
22:53Listen, don't listen to him.
22:54He's lost the fucking plot.
22:55He's been chatting to her pig's head in the freezer.
22:57What?
22:57What freezer?
22:57In the garage, and he's been talking to her.
22:59What are you talking to a pig's head?
23:00Oh, what if I have?
23:01What if I have?
23:02What if I have?
23:02Better listener than any of you lot.
23:04Well, that's what happens when you're related to you guys.
23:05I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
23:07Hey!
23:10Chalo, Shaju.
23:13Why are you saying Nicole Jao to me?
23:15No, no, ask him.
23:16Why is he saying that to me?
23:17Baba, what did I do?
23:18What did I do?
23:18I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
23:19I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
23:22Well, you lot will judge me.
23:23Huh?
23:23Why are you fucking touching me?
23:25Don't touch me.
23:26I'm trying to change your world.
23:27Alright?
23:28So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless,
23:31stinking, bitter baggy.
23:33Look at me.
23:33Get the fuck out of this, wasp!
23:35I've got a problem, am I?
23:36She blames you for what happened to your mum, bro.
23:38Shut up!
24:07Get the fuck out of this сем
24:18tous到 Cast piaali
24:43Oh
25:06Oh, my God.
25:35.
26:05.
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