- 5 days ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess! - Full Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:06Please, save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:43Rejuvenate.
00:00:51Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:58What?
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:04Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:34Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:49Rejuvenate.
00:01:53See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:05Oh, oh!
00:02:07Oh!
00:02:08Oh!
00:02:10Oh!
00:02:11Oh!
00:02:13Hey, hey, hey!
00:02:17please my brother's been in a coma the last two years we have no idea what the illness is
00:02:23if anyone can help cure him we will pay you handsomely the elizander armstrong
00:02:27his military family basically owns the entire global stock market he's so hot does he come
00:02:34with the money yes he'll even marry you if you can cure him money fame power it's all yours
00:02:46are we still moving forward miss trixie yes give the presidential contract to marissa
00:02:51oh i have another call coming in grandma i'm dying save me trixie grandma grandma when are you getting
00:03:04married i'm already a hundred years old i'm gonna keep you healthy forever grandma and butch is still
00:03:10on deployment so that's why i haven't been married yet oh but why marry a vegetable when i can bang
00:03:20a
00:03:20younger stud like you we're talking about my brother's life i don't have time for jokes
00:03:36please go feed your dog miss don't let it starve like you oh kind stranger let me repay you by
00:03:42granting you a wish grant me a wish that you can barely feed yourself the downfall of humanity
00:03:48it all starts with the loss of faith what oh jeez this is giving me a migraine are you telling
00:03:56me to
00:03:56pray to god because we've been doing that i'm telling you to have some faith in me
00:04:01okay uh i wish for you to cure my brother's illness can you do that i can topple mountains and
00:04:09make a king
00:04:09out of a frog if i wanted to cleo stay right here for a second don't go too far cleo
00:04:18hold still
00:04:26my migraine's gone okay then let's go if you can cure my brother he'll even marry you
00:04:47how is he what is the diagnosis remember you will not marry him unless you cure him i'm sorry
00:04:53i don't know what this is aren't you the queen of medicine you're supposed to be one of the best
00:04:58don't worry general i'm the angel herbalist and i have mastered all healing methods of the east
00:05:05i can detect what condition your son has with just one needle
00:05:25i have no clue what this is
00:05:29oh it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all
00:05:35that's why we saved the best for last me the witch doctor i'll save your son lysander
00:05:51he's not budging there's no movement truly i have saved thousands of patients all over the world but
00:05:57i don't know what this is lord i've scoured the earth for the best doctors they've tried all these methods
00:06:05and
00:06:05they've all failed if we can't save him there's only one person who can who
00:06:15the goddess of healing
00:06:19wait a second you're not talking about the legendary goddess you that's correct her right rewrites the
00:06:26wrong and her left leaves the bereft that's her motto it's what makes her a sage amongst mortals we
00:06:34are nothing compared to her she is eccentric and elusive no one has ever seen her before
00:06:41if this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son
00:06:45i don't care if i go bankrupt i will find her james come put out a bounty to the entire
00:06:53world
00:06:54whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars there's no need
00:07:13i'll save your son
00:07:16who the hell is she dad she says she can cure lysander she's gonna save your brother don't
00:07:22be ridiculous how can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother exactly god the unemployed are getting
00:07:29crazier and crazier she's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich
00:07:34ew she even brought a filthy dog with her i bet it has fleas that flea infested dirty thing
00:07:42is your companion don't try to steal lysander armstrong from us
00:07:50don't touch him
00:07:54they say don't judge a book by its cover but i can see from all your faces that you've failed
00:07:59so step aside i'll take it from here could you hold this
00:08:03oh you're not gonna touch my son i'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general i know
00:08:12a gold digging whore when i see one i bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the
00:08:17street corners wasn't paying enough cash who knows what an unskilled
00:08:22poor girl like her would do for some a skinny ass beggar trying to take advantage of
00:08:27lysander armstrong when he's unconscious ew disgusting go back to being a prostitute
00:08:34security get this std infested peasant out of here now let's go if you throw me out
00:08:41you're tossing away your son's last chance at life
00:08:47sir we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for master lysander and to no avail
00:08:52maybe we should give her a try you can always deal with her later if she turns out to be
00:08:57a fraud
00:08:58all right i'll give you a shot but i warn you if you fail i'll have your and your dog's
00:09:05head mounted on my wall
00:09:07is that any way to ask for help you'd be blessed to have me and i'm only here to repay
00:09:13your younger
00:09:13son's kindness but since i'm not welcome here i'll leave devon come find me when you have a different wish
00:09:22no miss trixie my brother is a hero to me i can't lose him well if he's a hero to
00:09:30you
00:09:32then that means he must be a good person my brother's a war hero who single-handedly
00:09:37saved this country from a terrorist attack also he's great with puppies he'd make a great husband
00:09:43who says i want to marry him as if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of
00:09:50marrying
00:09:50a penniless bum like you only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her i mean look at her
00:09:56even if she cleaned herself up you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her only those cut from
00:10:03the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters continue wasting your time but i'm saving this patient
00:10:19oh okay what's happening
00:10:24what are we doing
00:10:39i knew she was a perv she's definitely trying to steal lysander from us do you all not know that
00:10:45sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient are you insane security smash her face
00:10:50for licking my son he's born with congenital heart disease has a peanut allergy and the condition he
00:10:57has is called endogenic cryomorphy yeah right i mean no way you got all that just from licking him
00:11:04oh okay i've studied every disease known to man right i even have the badge of universal medicine
00:11:10right here and i've never heard of endo cryo what what
00:11:18this
00:11:25is worth nothing when i have the real thing right here
00:11:27what so you think that this this crummy walking stick of yours is is what the rod of a sepulius
00:11:36why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional
00:11:41i agree i mean even if she does solve this medical mystery what is the point of doctors who have
00:11:47studied for years we are all certified but lysander does have congenital heart disease
00:11:54she's right about everything
00:11:58yeah but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses one of them is bound to be right
00:12:03and again there's no such thing as endo cryo what what endogenic cryomorphy oh and of course none
00:12:09of you have heard of it because i just discovered it this condition only affects those with both chd and
00:12:16a peanut allergy the chances are a billion to one a hundred times rarer than winning the lottery but
00:12:22lucky for you all you've hit the jackpot by finding me what a bunch of baloney i mean you wouldn't
00:12:29be
00:12:29homeless if you were actually any good precisely you are just a scamming prostitute you don't compare
00:12:37to meet us who actually studied real medicine i bet you were too poor to go to real medical school
00:12:45oh so
00:12:46she went to the super circus instead and now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake
00:12:52diseases which mean nothing if you can't wake him up is that supposed to be a challenge oh my god
00:13:01if you three incompetent doormats want to show me up i think you all should grow parts of your brain
00:13:07back which by the way that condition is called an encephaly what is that supposed to mean it means
00:13:13you're being schooled by me and i'm about to walk all over your medical licensees
00:13:19then let's have a bet if you can't heal him we'll break your hands
00:13:26and then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore
00:13:32these hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined you're that desperate to get rid of
00:13:38your competition huh miss tricksy don't risk your hands for them there's too many lives at stake
00:13:47don't worry i got this
00:13:52it's a deal i'll save lysander armstrong no one is dying on my watch
00:14:04lysander armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years
00:14:11are you stopping me because you're scared i'd actually succeed homeless or not if you save my
00:14:17son i'll give you everything
00:14:27i'll even have lysander my heir marry you i'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband
00:14:33i just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing
00:14:38prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees fahrenheit wait wait wait what what for don't
00:14:43listen to her she probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off
00:14:49of
00:14:50her firstly this is called greatness secondly even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery you
00:14:57couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character what did you just call me there's a man's life at
00:15:07stake here and you're standing in my way don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm
00:15:14now stop getting in my way or i promise you you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon oh
00:15:20yeah
00:15:20hey you want to see real pain where's the dog well put down the dog with pleasure
00:15:41left leaves the wrong breath
00:15:47you don't deserve to call yourself a doctor
00:15:53she's been poisoned it was her do you see any poison on me medicine in the right hands can save
00:16:01lives but in the wrong hands it becomes nothing but poison this isn't good enough to take down the
00:16:08queen of medicine do you have one of your antidotes on you of course
00:16:12i've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes if i want to save someone even the grim reaper can't
00:16:19stop me
00:16:35why is she getting blood this wasn't supposed to happen i thought you said even the grim reaper can't
00:16:41get in your way angel herbalist this is what i call malpractice this isn't fatal she'll live
00:16:50but she deserves a little punishment well where's the jacuzzi i asked for jacuzzi is ready right this
00:16:56way wait wait wait wait wait wait what the hell is going on you say you want your son to
00:17:00live on to
00:17:01give you tons of grandchildren don't you then stop getting in my way every second counts
00:17:08let's go for a dip shall we
00:17:14general armstrong your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation
00:17:19are you really gonna let this hobo
00:17:21slut touch your son hold on you two are going in there alone if you don't want these drooling
00:17:28vultures to see your son naked then sure invite everyone in all right but i warn you
00:17:36no funny business
00:17:40so
00:18:38You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
00:18:43Exactly!
00:18:44What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:18:46She could blackmail you for millions.
00:18:50That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:18:52And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:18:56Held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:18:59Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:02We have to have faith.
00:19:03Hey, where did you actually find this little life?
00:19:08On the streets.
00:19:10Are you shitting me?
00:19:12You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:14Are you nuts?
00:19:15You don't know her.
00:19:16You don't know her background.
00:19:18She could be a psychotic murder.
00:19:20That is it, General.
00:19:21You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:22You're right.
00:19:23That's it.
00:19:24I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:26James, let's go.
00:19:27Yes, sir.
00:19:38I told you all to stay out.
00:19:45This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:47We can't be interrupted.
00:19:48Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:54I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:00I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:02No.
00:20:07You see that, General?
00:20:08This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:10This is a witchcraft.
00:20:13I know what this is.
00:20:15This is the dark witch.
00:20:17I've heard of her.
00:20:18She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men,
00:20:23and then she eats them alive.
00:20:24Oh, I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:27James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:30Yes, sir.
00:20:34You regain consciousness.
00:20:46Help me.
00:20:47I just want to...
00:20:52Something's wrong.
00:20:56You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:59Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:04That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:13Sir?
00:21:14The SWAT team is here.
00:21:16Captain Morales.
00:21:19My son is trapped behind there
00:21:21with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:24I need you to do whatever you can
00:21:25to tear down that door.
00:21:27Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:29We'll break down that door
00:21:30and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:36Right.
00:21:37He writes the wrong.
00:21:46Who the fuck are you?
00:21:47And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:51Good.
00:21:52You're awake.
00:21:53I'm saving you.
00:21:54Saving me?
00:21:56By bathing with me?
00:21:58Who are you?
00:21:58You're a fucking spy?
00:22:00I swear to God,
00:22:02I'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:05You're the one who's trying to kiss me
00:22:07in your stippor.
00:22:10I will never.
00:22:11Oh, really?
00:22:25Look who's scouting now.
00:22:29Look, I don't know what the fuck this is,
00:22:31all right,
00:22:31but it is a biological fact.
00:22:33A man is attracted to
00:22:36a naked woman
00:22:37and her breasts.
00:22:39Science, okay?
00:22:40It just means that my body
00:22:41Oh, shut up.
00:22:41Excuse me.
00:22:44You just talked to me
00:22:46with your phone.
00:22:47And I'm a professional.
00:22:49I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:51Captain, do something now.
00:22:52Ready.
00:22:58We're almost there.
00:23:01Aim.
00:23:03Get him, boys.
00:23:04Get him.
00:23:06Fire.
00:23:09Fire.
00:23:25Those damascals.
00:23:27How is this possible?
00:23:29It's not even a scratch.
00:23:30I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:33Of course,
00:23:34your earthly bullets
00:23:35won't do a thing.
00:23:35No.
00:23:36I believe Miss Trixie
00:23:37is a good person.
00:23:39She's not the dark witch.
00:23:40Young Master Armstrong,
00:23:42you are too easily fooled.
00:23:44This homeless psycho
00:23:45doesn't even have the skills
00:23:47to make a living.
00:23:48How is she going to save
00:23:49someone else's life?
00:23:50That's right.
00:23:51The Queen Angel and I
00:23:52are already the top
00:23:53female doctors in the world.
00:23:55If we can't save him,
00:23:57no one can.
00:23:58Except for the goddess healer.
00:23:59Think about it.
00:24:00We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:02He's been in a coma
00:24:03for two years.
00:24:04Miss Trixie must have
00:24:04woken him up.
00:24:05You're right.
00:24:06This homeless girl
00:24:08is maybe the goddess.
00:24:12Maybe this homeless girl
00:24:14is really the goddess.
00:24:14No, no.
00:24:16Absolutely not.
00:24:17There is no way
00:24:18this hobo girl
00:24:19is better than us.
00:24:21But how could you know
00:24:22for sure?
00:24:22Right now,
00:24:23what we need to do
00:24:24is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:26You're wrong, sir.
00:24:27This homeless snake
00:24:29is using the forbidden techniques
00:24:30on Master Lysander.
00:24:31It's called borderline revival.
00:24:34She uses torturous pain
00:24:36to wake the patient.
00:24:37But only temporarily.
00:24:39It's a trick
00:24:40to pull the wool
00:24:41over your eyes and ears.
00:24:43That means my son
00:24:45is in tremendous pain.
00:24:46I'm going to ask you two
00:24:47to do whatever you can
00:24:49to kill that antler rod
00:24:51bearing witch.
00:24:52My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:53He is dying right now
00:24:55naked in a jacuzzi
00:24:57with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:58Then it looks like
00:24:59it's up to me.
00:25:01The witch doctor.
00:25:02Only I know
00:25:03the right techniques
00:25:04to take her down.
00:25:06My son's life
00:25:08is in your hands.
00:25:09You heal him,
00:25:10I will give you
00:25:10whatever your heart desires.
00:25:13I don't know who you are,
00:25:15but there is no way
00:25:17I am letting you
00:25:17rip my golden bachelor
00:25:18away from me.
00:25:21This isn't
00:25:22the finishing touch.
00:25:24I must now give you
00:25:26the kiss of life.
00:25:27So we can both survive.
00:25:47It's poison gas.
00:25:49That poison gas
00:25:51will smoke them out
00:25:52and end her torture
00:25:53over Master Lysander.
00:25:55Poison gas?
00:25:56My son is in there.
00:25:57You're jeopardizing
00:25:59his life as well.
00:26:00No, don't worry, General.
00:26:01Gold diggers like her
00:26:02only care about themselves.
00:26:05Soon,
00:26:05she'll come out
00:26:06crying to Mommy.
00:26:08Then we can reverse
00:26:08the poison on your son
00:26:10and then he can
00:26:10marry one of us.
00:26:12They really won't stop
00:26:14until they get
00:26:15both of us killed.
00:26:18I made a promise to you
00:26:19that I'd save you.
00:26:21It's now or never.
00:26:23Never.
00:26:24Never.
00:26:34What the hell
00:26:36are they doing in there?
00:26:37It's been over 10 minutes.
00:26:38Wait a second.
00:26:40You don't think
00:26:41that they're...
00:26:42You!
00:26:43You suffocated
00:26:44my brother
00:26:44and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:45Don't point your fingers
00:26:46at me!
00:26:47If your brother's dead,
00:26:48it's because of
00:26:49that homeless gold digger.
00:26:50Oh my God.
00:26:51Yeah!
00:26:52She's the one
00:26:52who sealed the door shut.
00:26:54I mean,
00:26:55she probably locked
00:26:56themselves in there
00:26:57on accident.
00:26:58Miss Trixie wouldn't
00:26:58have to do that
00:26:59if you weren't trying
00:27:00to sabotage her
00:27:01from saving my brother.
00:27:02This is taking
00:27:03way too long.
00:27:05Captain Morales,
00:27:06it's time to get out
00:27:07the big guns.
00:27:09These bazookas
00:27:10can flatten
00:27:11even a bomb shelter.
00:27:12Bazooka.
00:27:13She won't be able
00:27:14to hide even if
00:27:14she's the devil himself.
00:27:16Crap.
00:27:17Oh my God.
00:27:17Get back, son.
00:27:19Ready.
00:27:21Aim.
00:27:22Oh, shit.
00:27:27Quit your whining
00:27:28and stand down.
00:27:41The parasite's
00:27:42been extracted.
00:27:44Shoot her dead now.
00:27:45Do I need to fix
00:27:46your hearing too?
00:27:47I said stand down.
00:27:50Don't listen to her.
00:27:51She's a fraud.
00:27:52A termite
00:27:53to the field of medicine.
00:27:54I just saved this man
00:27:56that otherwise
00:27:56would have died
00:27:57in your care.
00:27:58If I'm a termite,
00:27:59then you're worse
00:28:01than a disease-spreading
00:28:02tick.
00:28:03Wait a second.
00:28:04Are you saying
00:28:05you cured my son?
00:28:06He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:07You can see for yourself.
00:28:09Well, now you're just
00:28:10asking to be exposed.
00:28:12That is it.
00:28:13No more stalling, General.
00:28:15If you won't punish her,
00:28:16I will.
00:28:21Don't hurt her.
00:28:26He's a cure.
00:28:33His pulse is regular.
00:28:35In fact,
00:28:36it's never been better.
00:28:40There's no sign of illness,
00:28:42infection,
00:28:43or disease.
00:28:51Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:53Lysander's warm again.
00:28:54He's not cold and pale
00:28:55like before.
00:28:56And his heart is strong.
00:28:58Come, feel it.
00:29:01I saved my son.
00:29:04Next time,
00:29:04don't go seeking medical advice
00:29:06from those with ill will.
00:29:07Your son would have
00:29:08otherwise died
00:29:09by their greedy
00:29:10and unskilled hands.
00:29:12I've learned my lesson.
00:29:13I will not let
00:29:14these two nutjobs
00:29:15ever practice
00:29:16their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:18Wait, wait!
00:29:19No, no!
00:29:19There is only one person
00:29:21in the world
00:29:22who is more skilled
00:29:23in the field of medicine
00:29:24than the queen,
00:29:25Angel, and I.
00:29:28The goddess!
00:29:29The goddess healer!
00:29:33Could you really be
00:29:35the goddess of healing?
00:29:36But rumor has it
00:29:37that the goddess of healing
00:29:38is well over 100 years old
00:29:40and you don't look
00:29:42a day after 20.
00:29:43It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:45What matters is that
00:29:46the patient is healthy again.
00:29:48Devon,
00:29:48I've repaid your kindness
00:29:50by fulfilling your wish
00:29:50of saving your brother.
00:29:52Take care.
00:29:53No, wait!
00:29:54Miss Trixie,
00:29:55we still haven't fulfilled
00:29:56our promise to you yet.
00:29:57He's right.
00:29:58We are men of our words
00:30:00and as I promised you,
00:30:01my heir, Lysander,
00:30:02would take you as a wife
00:30:03if you cured him
00:30:04and you did just that.
00:30:06Of course,
00:30:07you're welcome
00:30:07to marry me instead.
00:30:09Oh!
00:30:10I really appreciate it,
00:30:11but I'm sorry.
00:30:13I...
00:30:15I'm already engaged.
00:30:19Already engaged?
00:30:20I am.
00:30:21I've been patiently
00:30:22awaiting his return
00:30:23from deployment
00:30:23for the last three years.
00:30:25And he's coming back today.
00:30:27But don't be disappointed.
00:30:29Really,
00:30:29I'm no one special.
00:30:31I just got lucky
00:30:32with your brother.
00:30:33Some guru taught me
00:30:34that spa water
00:30:35can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:36But you're still
00:30:37Lysander's savior.
00:30:38Please,
00:30:39let me give you
00:30:40what I promised.
00:30:41Take the gold.
00:30:41No, really.
00:30:44I don't need anything.
00:30:45I just believe
00:30:46in doing good in the world.
00:30:51Trixie,
00:30:52it's your fiancé.
00:30:53He's back.
00:30:54And he says
00:30:55he's breaking up with you.
00:30:58I must go.
00:31:06Hobo close.
00:31:07Halo glow.
00:31:08I bet the goddess healer
00:31:10is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:12It was just dumb luck.
00:31:14She's even dumber
00:31:15for not accepting
00:31:15his marriage proposal.
00:31:16She could have been
00:31:17the richest woman
00:31:18in the world,
00:31:19marrying the hottest,
00:31:20most powerful bachelor
00:31:22around.
00:31:25I'm gonna marry
00:31:26that homeless woman.
00:31:31Oh my God.
00:31:33I mean,
00:31:34I don't know
00:31:34about that homeless bimbo,
00:31:36but this is godly.
00:31:39No, no, no,
00:31:40no, Lysander.
00:31:42Lysander was not
00:31:43what's supposed to be mine.
00:31:45I'd so much rather
00:31:46share him with you
00:31:47than let that
00:31:48penniless,
00:31:49ugly bitch have him.
00:31:50You two nutjobs
00:31:51are a disgrace
00:31:52to your profession.
00:31:53Take these two weirdos
00:31:54out of here
00:31:55and revoke their licenses.
00:31:56No, we're not brides.
00:31:59No, she's just better
00:32:00than us.
00:32:02Oh my God.
00:32:06We were truly blessed
00:32:07to have Miss Trixie here,
00:32:08huh?
00:32:09She's no average Jane.
00:32:10No, she isn't.
00:32:11She said it was just
00:32:12dumb luck.
00:32:13But if she truly
00:32:14had these special skills,
00:32:16why did she wear
00:32:17that shit-stained dress
00:32:18and had an impeccable
00:32:19looking doll?
00:32:19But think about
00:32:20the impenetrable walls.
00:32:21No normal person
00:32:22could have done that.
00:32:23Goddess or not,
00:32:25homeless or not,
00:32:25I don't care.
00:32:26I have never met
00:32:27a woman like that.
00:32:28I have to find her.
00:32:29I have to make her my life.
00:32:31She won my heart over too.
00:32:32But if my bestest
00:32:33big bro wants her,
00:32:35I'll help you find her.
00:32:36All right, listen.
00:32:37I need help
00:32:38finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie,
00:32:46so I want you,
00:32:47your granddaughters,
00:32:49filthy things
00:32:50out of my house
00:32:52now.
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:54She waited for you
00:32:56for three years.
00:32:58She was dumb enough
00:32:59to put my name
00:32:59on the lease.
00:33:00And I'm upgrading
00:33:01for a better girlfriend now,
00:33:02one with some serious
00:33:03fuck you money.
00:33:05So get lost.
00:33:07Who gave you permission
00:33:08to bark like a rabbit hyena
00:33:10in my house?
00:33:16Grandma.
00:33:18Beatrice, Trixie,
00:33:19Amori.
00:33:21I've been dying
00:33:21to throw this
00:33:22in your face.
00:33:23I'm dumping you
00:33:24for your best friend,
00:33:25Marissa.
00:33:27In fact,
00:33:28the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:30So sign over
00:33:31the house
00:33:31now.
00:33:37You gave me this ring
00:33:38and asked me to wait.
00:33:40And I did.
00:33:41For three years
00:33:43while you were deployed.
00:33:44Yet you cheat on me
00:33:45with my best friend
00:33:46and now you're trying
00:33:48to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:51We were together
00:33:52for three years
00:33:53and it was a complete
00:33:54waste of my life
00:33:55when I could have been
00:33:56with a loaded girl
00:33:57like Marissa.
00:34:03That's how much
00:34:04you would owe me
00:34:04if I was in the
00:34:05rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:09I see you're
00:34:09fulfilling your
00:34:10highest aspirations
00:34:11of being a low-grade
00:34:13male prostitute.
00:34:17Oh yeah?
00:34:19Well, Marissa
00:34:21is so much better
00:34:22than you.
00:34:23She grew up
00:34:24even poorer
00:34:25than you
00:34:26and now
00:34:26she's the CEO
00:34:28of an entire
00:34:29corporation.
00:34:33And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing.
00:34:37So you think
00:34:38she's an upgrade?
00:34:39Of course
00:34:40she's an upgrade.
00:34:41Look what she
00:34:42got me
00:34:43for my engagement.
00:34:45Oops.
00:34:46Yeah.
00:34:48That's maybe
00:34:48worth one millionth
00:34:50the presidential contract
00:34:51I gave her.
00:34:57You gave her
00:34:58the presidential contract?
00:34:59I certainly did.
00:35:01In fact,
00:35:02Marissa,
00:35:03you and your
00:35:04dimwit brother
00:35:05only have everything
00:35:06you have
00:35:07all thanks to me.
00:35:13I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:15That breakup
00:35:15must have hit her
00:35:16hard.
00:35:18You two
00:35:18are the ungrateful
00:35:20cheating scum here.
00:35:21My granddaughter
00:35:22supported you
00:35:24and your entire family
00:35:25for three years
00:35:27while you were gone.
00:35:28How dare you insult her?
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:32Let's not stoop
00:35:33to that level.
00:35:35Poor Edna.
00:35:36She still doesn't know
00:35:37what you're doing
00:35:37out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking
00:35:40about, Josie?
00:35:41Show her, Bob.
00:35:47This is how
00:35:48embarrassingly useless
00:35:49your granddaughter is.
00:35:50She didn't purchase
00:35:51this house on her own.
00:35:52She was begging
00:35:53on the street
00:35:54for money.
00:35:56I can't be caught
00:35:57with a piss-poor
00:35:58nobody like you.
00:36:00Even if you got no game,
00:36:01I got street cred
00:36:02I got out of keep.
00:36:03You dig?
00:36:04The word you're
00:36:04looking for is
00:36:05dignity.
00:36:06And you're one
00:36:07to speak, cheater.
00:36:10Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:15I've been broadening
00:36:16my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:17I want to see
00:36:18how regular,
00:36:19everyday people live
00:36:20so that I can help them.
00:36:23Of course,
00:36:23those without substance
00:36:25underneath would never
00:36:26understand that.
00:36:27What is that
00:36:28supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means
00:36:29the new girlfriend
00:36:30you think is an upgrade
00:36:32is actually a downgrade.
00:36:37Enough bullshitting already!
00:36:38Just sign the damn papers
00:36:39and we can each
00:36:40get on with our lives.
00:36:54At your wedding,
00:36:55I will.
00:36:56What?
00:36:57If you won't do good
00:36:58by me of breaking things off
00:37:00before two-timing me
00:37:01with my best friend,
00:37:03why should I do good
00:37:04by you?
00:37:05I'll give you my
00:37:05John Hancock
00:37:06at your wedding
00:37:07as a charity
00:37:09to you.
00:37:10Fucking bitch!
00:37:11You better keep your word.
00:37:13Oh, that's rich.
00:37:14After tomorrow,
00:37:16you will never feel
00:37:16so rich ever again.
00:37:18Do remember that.
00:37:25Trixie,
00:37:27Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:28They'll destroy you
00:37:30if you show
00:37:30even so much
00:37:32as a hair
00:37:32at their wedding.
00:37:33Grandma,
00:37:34I have to confess
00:37:35something to you.
00:37:36I've secretly amassed
00:37:38a fortune worth
00:37:39trillions.
00:37:40Trillions?
00:37:43That would make you
00:37:44the richest person
00:37:46on the planet.
00:37:47It's because of
00:37:48the healing hands
00:37:49I inherited
00:37:49from Asseplius,
00:37:51the god of healing.
00:37:52I've saved
00:37:53several world leaders
00:37:55with these hands.
00:37:56That's how I was able
00:37:57to give Marissa
00:37:58the presidential contract
00:37:59and become
00:38:00the goddess healer.
00:38:01It makes me angrier
00:38:02hearing her name
00:38:04knowing how she
00:38:04betrayed you.
00:38:05But please,
00:38:07Trixie dear,
00:38:08I know it was
00:38:09to broken your heart,
00:38:10but embellishing
00:38:12your worth
00:38:13and who you are,
00:38:14it will only delay
00:38:15the healing process.
00:38:17You don't have
00:38:17to believe me
00:38:18just yet.
00:38:19After we lost
00:38:20mom and dad
00:38:21because we didn't
00:38:22have the money
00:38:22for their medical bills,
00:38:24I vowed that
00:38:25I would do
00:38:26everything I can
00:38:27to serve those
00:38:27in need.
00:38:29That's why I'm
00:38:30taking everything
00:38:30back from Butch
00:38:31and I'm giving it
00:38:32back to charity.
00:38:33You've always had
00:38:34an angel's heart.
00:38:35I'm certain
00:38:36you will meet
00:38:37someone who
00:38:38will treat you right,
00:38:39who actually
00:38:40deserves you.
00:38:41You will see
00:38:42tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:45Oh, yeah.
00:38:51You said Trixie's
00:38:52crashing at my wedding.
00:38:53She was bullying
00:38:54us too, Sasa.
00:38:55She's probably
00:38:56trying to extort you
00:38:57now that she knows
00:38:58you're rich as fuck.
00:39:00When hope
00:39:00when nobody
00:39:01steps on Snake,
00:39:02Snake bites back hard.
00:39:04So let her come
00:39:05and embarrass herself.
00:39:07Yeah.
00:39:08You mean,
00:39:10we broadcast
00:39:12that video of you?
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:17Her cavewoman
00:39:17stick the 19th
00:39:18century tin can.
00:39:20She'll prop me up
00:39:21higher on my pedestal
00:39:22and the whole world
00:39:22sees her in her
00:39:23homeless mess
00:39:24against my
00:39:24presidential glow-up.
00:39:26Let's turn this party
00:39:27into her funeral.
00:39:35There he is.
00:39:38Welcome home,
00:39:39brother.
00:39:40Welcome home,
00:39:41General!
00:39:44Sir,
00:39:45the homeless woman
00:39:46who saved you,
00:39:46Miss Trixie,
00:39:47this is the file
00:39:48of her ex,
00:39:48Butch Tanner.
00:39:49He served with
00:39:50her regiment
00:39:50in the Marines.
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner
00:39:52that can barely
00:39:53carry supplies?
00:39:54Well, she's been
00:39:54providing for him
00:39:55and his entire family
00:39:56while he's been
00:39:57deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:58So she waited for him
00:39:59for years
00:40:00and then he betrayed her?
00:40:01Fucking coward.
00:40:02According to Intel,
00:40:03she's planning to bring
00:40:04it down on them
00:40:04at their wedding.
00:40:05Then we should join her.
00:40:07Men,
00:40:08I'm only alive today
00:40:09because of that
00:40:10virtuous woman
00:40:11and her incredible power
00:40:12that saved my life.
00:40:13So she needs our support.
00:40:14Will you join me
00:40:15in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will allow our lives
00:40:18to protect her, sir!
00:40:20And let's roll.
00:40:36Welcome everyone
00:40:37to my wedding.
00:40:39Today is a very special day
00:40:40for me and Butch.
00:40:41Not only are we getting married,
00:40:42but in just one hour,
00:40:43my company will be receiving
00:40:44the presidential contract
00:40:46allowing my biomedical company
00:40:48to go public.
00:40:53congratulations on the contract
00:40:54once again,
00:40:55Mrs.
00:40:55Wakeham.
00:40:56Stowe,
00:40:57butch is taking my last name.
00:40:59Oh, and please,
00:40:59don't be so uptight,
00:41:00Secretary Cho.
00:41:02You are the secretary
00:41:03of the entire
00:41:03U.S. Health Department,
00:41:05but this is a partay
00:41:06after all.
00:41:07I see some of the
00:41:08most important people
00:41:09in the nation
00:41:10have also arrived
00:41:11to celebrate you.
00:41:13The U.S. President
00:41:15will also be arriving soon
00:41:17to give you
00:41:17the contract herself.
00:41:19It's an honor.
00:41:20And that's why Sasa
00:41:21is the best wife
00:41:22a man could ever dream of.
00:41:25We will make sure
00:41:26the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin!
00:41:32Not so fast.
00:41:33The party doesn't start
00:41:35until I say it does.
00:41:58You two really are
00:41:59a match made in hell.
00:42:01So I've come to save your guests
00:42:02from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:04I don't recognize it
00:42:05from any of our elite circles.
00:42:07Who is she?
00:42:08Uh, this is our
00:42:09entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:11Just watch.
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:17You lost.
00:42:18I bet she's here
00:42:19to bum a meal off us.
00:42:20You know,
00:42:21being this poor.
00:42:24Me, bum a meal.
00:42:26Have you forgotten
00:42:27that it was I
00:42:27who bankrolled you two
00:42:28for the last three years?
00:42:30And what evidence
00:42:30do you have of that?
00:42:32Look at me,
00:42:32then go look at yourself
00:42:33in the mirror.
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:36Even the first woman president
00:42:38will be here any second
00:42:39now to congratulate me.
00:42:41And you're nothing
00:42:41but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:44Sasa, she's like
00:42:45so obsessed with me.
00:42:46She's like...
00:42:48See, everyone?
00:42:49Butch already cut ties
00:42:51with his ex,
00:42:51but she's so shameless
00:42:53and desperate
00:42:54that she'd still show up
00:42:55to my wedding
00:42:56to suck up to me.
00:42:57This is what poor
00:42:59sad girls do.
00:43:00They beg
00:43:01for scraps
00:43:02from us,
00:43:03the rich and glorious.
00:43:05Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel
00:43:07all high and mighty now,
00:43:08but don't bite the hand
00:43:09that feeds you.
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one
00:43:12who's giving you the contract.
00:43:18You giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills,
00:43:23no education,
00:43:24no connection,
00:43:25so how could you possibly
00:43:26have a pool
00:43:27to get the U.S.
00:43:28fucking president
00:43:29to give me
00:43:30a billion dollar contract?
00:43:31We both share
00:43:32humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:34And I saw potential in you.
00:43:36Even trusted you
00:43:37as my best friend.
00:43:38But I recognize now
00:43:39that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:41Don't be all sore now
00:43:43just because I stole your man.
00:43:45This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:47They steal from lame spinsters
00:43:49for fun.
00:43:50Damn right.
00:43:51You were
00:43:52too embarrassing for me.
00:43:55Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:56I can say that now
00:43:58that I'm marrying the rich.
00:43:59Bravo!
00:44:01Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:02Quick!
00:44:03Somebody put that
00:44:04on a memoir.
00:44:04Sasa, she's embarrassing
00:44:05me in front of everyone.
00:44:06Drink her sup.
00:44:07Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:09She's the gold-digging,
00:44:11blood-sucking leech.
00:44:12I don't even have
00:44:13to lift a finger
00:44:14and you're already
00:44:14embarrassing yourself
00:44:15in front of everyone
00:44:16for me, butch.
00:44:19You may look and sound
00:44:20like a man,
00:44:21but you're nothing
00:44:22but a pathetic coward.
00:44:23Okay, enough!
00:44:24You know what I always
00:44:25couldn't stand about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing.
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies
00:44:31to make you lame girls
00:44:32feel better about yourselves.
00:44:33That's why no man
00:44:34will choose you
00:44:35over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:37Because I've got
00:44:37the material goods
00:44:39and you're just
00:44:40all empty talk.
00:44:41I'm not here
00:44:41to request to be chosen
00:44:43because I'm the one
00:44:44who's doing the choosing.
00:44:47See this?
00:44:59Oh my god.
00:45:01Is that the billion dollar
00:45:02contract for Sasa?
00:45:06The one that's supposed
00:45:07to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not.
00:45:10I don't believe it.
00:45:12You all sound so scared already.
00:45:14Don't worry.
00:45:14This isn't that contract.
00:45:17It's the lease
00:45:18to the modest home
00:45:19you try to swindle from me.
00:45:23See everyone?
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:26But you don't even have
00:45:26the guts to go all the way.
00:45:28Look at her following orders.
00:45:29I asked her to sign over
00:45:30the lease and here she is.
00:45:32Like a good little
00:45:34peasant slave.
00:45:35That house is worth
00:45:36all her life savings.
00:45:40You want to, uh,
00:45:42I don't know,
00:45:42beg for a little treat
00:45:43while you're at it?
00:45:46Oh!
00:45:54You misunderstand me.
00:45:56I'm here to take back
00:45:57everything I've ever given you.
00:45:59I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:00Oh!
00:46:01Oh!
00:46:03Oh!
00:46:04Oh!
00:46:05Oh!
00:46:05Oh!
00:46:05Oh!
00:46:06Oh!
00:46:07Oh!
00:46:07Bro!
00:46:08She's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:10She thinks that just because
00:46:11she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:12she can pretend to be
00:46:13a deep pocket-invested baddie.
00:46:15You wish you had
00:46:16that kind of money
00:46:16to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:18It's just a drop
00:46:19in the bucket for me.
00:46:20Uh, I-I know what this is.
00:46:22You've gotten delusional.
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella
00:46:25so you can just show up
00:46:26to a fancy party
00:46:27and some Prince Charming
00:46:28will scoop you
00:46:29into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening.
00:46:32Security!
00:46:33Lock the doors.
00:46:34This woman doesn't leave
00:46:35until we're through with her.
00:46:39This is where your dreams
00:46:41will die, bitch!
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:46She's being cornered
00:46:47by her ex and his mistress
00:46:48at the Wickham wedding
00:46:49right now.
00:46:50Butch Tanner.
00:46:50Well, he's gonna wish
00:46:51he died in battle
00:46:52after I'm done with him.
00:46:54Let's go.
00:46:59You think a few toy guns
00:47:00scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people
00:47:03from much worse.
00:47:05Including your head
00:47:05head of command, Butch.
00:47:07General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:10You mean the legendary
00:47:11war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma
00:47:13for years after he saved
00:47:14the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:16You're an unskilled,
00:47:18unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:20So how could you possibly
00:47:21have this magical ability
00:47:23to heal someone
00:47:24like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here's gonna believe you.
00:47:27If you really cured
00:47:28the incurable general,
00:47:30then Sasa
00:47:30is the fucking
00:47:31Virgin Mary.
00:47:32And she's...
00:47:33You're just asking
00:47:35to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:37Show them, Butch.
00:47:39Oh!
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:45Trixie's just a
00:47:46freeloading beggar.
00:47:51She won't leave me
00:47:52and Marissa alone
00:47:53because we're rich
00:47:54as fuck now.
00:47:55I'm a major
00:47:56in the Marines.
00:47:57Sasa, she has
00:47:59a billion-dollar
00:48:00biomedical contract
00:48:01with the military.
00:48:03Approved by the
00:48:04first female president
00:48:05of the United States
00:48:06herself, bitch.
00:48:08How despicable.
00:48:09She's just trying
00:48:10to leech off you
00:48:11like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:13Get out of here.
00:48:14No one wants to marry you.
00:48:15No free meals
00:48:16for the poor.
00:48:17Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society.
00:48:21So you're either
00:48:22born on a silver spoon
00:48:23or you're as accomplished
00:48:24as me to be here.
00:48:26Maybe if you do
00:48:27some serious
00:48:27dick-sucking here,
00:48:29maybe someone
00:48:30will drop a couple
00:48:31bucks in your tin can.
00:48:35I already have
00:48:36everything one can dream of.
00:48:37But I valued
00:48:38our friendship, Marissa,
00:48:39which is why I came here
00:48:40to give you a second chance
00:48:41to see if you'd
00:48:43apologize and admit
00:48:44to your backstabbing.
00:48:45But no.
00:48:46You stooped so low
00:48:48it disgusts me.
00:48:50Nothing is more
00:48:51disgusting than you
00:48:52standing on street corners
00:48:53like a bum.
00:48:54And who knows
00:48:55if you've already
00:48:56started offering
00:48:57sexual services.
00:48:59Well then,
00:49:01why don't you
00:49:02get on your knees
00:49:02for me, Trixie?
00:49:03My brother
00:49:04will never take you back.
00:49:06No man will marry
00:49:07an embarrassed man
00:49:08like you.
00:49:09But make me happy
00:49:10and I might consider
00:49:12making you my
00:49:13personal prostitute.
00:49:25How dare you
00:49:26hit my brother!
00:49:27I'm never letting you
00:49:28leave here alive!
00:49:29I had to do something.
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:34After I'm done
00:49:34with you, Trixie,
00:49:35not even
00:49:36the goddess of healing
00:49:37will be able to save you.
00:49:39Oh, is that so?
00:49:42Security!
00:49:44Get down on your knees
00:49:46and give Bob
00:49:47one hell of a blowjob
00:49:48in front of everybody here
00:49:50or I'll pop so many holes in you
00:49:52the men here won't know
00:49:53which one to fuck.
00:49:54I don't need to be the goddess
00:49:55of anything to punish you.
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders
00:49:58I've saved before
00:49:59could crush you
00:50:00before you even touch me.
00:50:02Dream on!
00:50:04You wish General Licender
00:50:05scooped you off your feet
00:50:07but you weren't good enough
00:50:08for me.
00:50:08You're definitely
00:50:09not good enough for him.
00:50:10Enough!
00:50:11You're souring my party
00:50:13so you either
00:50:14get the fuck out
00:50:16or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:18On the count of three!
00:50:20I think I quite like it here.
00:50:21Two!
00:50:23Two!
00:50:33This wine is so delicious.
00:50:36One!
00:50:37Shoot!
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand
00:50:42on my future wife.
00:50:49It's...
00:50:50It's...
00:51:00Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No.
00:51:10I'm fine.
00:51:11But, um...
00:51:12When did I become
00:51:13your future wife?
00:51:15You saved me,
00:51:17Trixie.
00:51:18Remember?
00:51:18I'm a man of my word.
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you
00:51:21ever again.
00:51:22Really,
00:51:23it was nothing.
00:51:24I saved you
00:51:25because you're a good man.
00:51:27Not because I want you
00:51:28to owe me any favors.
00:51:35I see what this is.
00:51:36You're the one
00:51:37who cheated on me,
00:51:38Trixie.
00:51:38Look at you guys
00:51:39all lovey-dove.
00:51:40Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:42She waited for you
00:51:42for three years.
00:51:43This is the kind of woman
00:51:45of virtue
00:51:45that a man would die for.
00:51:48Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh.
00:51:51She's probably out there
00:51:52giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:54No man who,
00:51:56in a hundred-foot pole,
00:51:57would want to touch her.
00:51:58She should be happy
00:51:59Bob was willing
00:52:00to give her some.
00:52:05I see her in the Marines.
00:52:08I'm a major.
00:52:10Look, man.
00:52:10I know Trixie
00:52:12is like a,
00:52:13I don't know,
00:52:13like a seven
00:52:14now that she's
00:52:15all cleaned up,
00:52:16but don't waste
00:52:16your manhood
00:52:17on a whiny,
00:52:18worthless woman
00:52:19like that.
00:52:20Ow!
00:52:21Ow!
00:52:22Ow!
00:52:23Ah!
00:52:24Ah!
00:52:25A real man
00:52:27never talks about
00:52:28a woman that way.
00:52:30You're a coward.
00:52:40We don't need
00:52:41to fight fire
00:52:41with fire
00:52:42to deal
00:52:42with the likes
00:52:43of them.
00:52:44You're very gracious,
00:52:45Trixie,
00:52:46you know that?
00:52:49You're only getting
00:52:49off of it
00:52:50because she's so kind,
00:52:51so you're going
00:52:51to do me the favor
00:52:52of never coming
00:52:53near her again.
00:52:53You understand?
00:52:54You want to fuck
00:52:55with me,
00:52:55you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major!
00:52:58You're probably
00:52:59lowest rank
00:52:59of the military grunts.
00:53:01I'll destroy you.
00:53:03Do you really
00:53:03not know
00:53:04who this is,
00:53:04Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were
00:53:06in the Marines.
00:53:07What have you been
00:53:07doing this whole time
00:53:08if you don't know
00:53:09who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just
00:53:12a supply boy.
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all
00:53:18part of your plan,
00:53:19Trixie?
00:53:20Poor girl.
00:53:21Did you sell
00:53:22your house
00:53:22to hire this actor
00:53:23so you can feel
00:53:24better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth
00:53:26is tied to the man
00:53:27she marries.
00:53:28Trixie is worthless
00:53:29because that guy
00:53:29looks like a cowboy.
00:53:34A bum girl
00:53:35and a pimp.
00:53:36What a pair.
00:53:38Seems like
00:53:38they don't know
00:53:39who you are
00:53:39since you've been
00:53:40out of action
00:53:40for so long.
00:53:42Maybe she tried
00:53:42to piss him off
00:53:43some more.
00:53:43Don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:56Trixie, listen.
00:53:57I know that you
00:53:58didn't ask for anything
00:53:59after you saved my life.
00:54:01But I know that
00:54:02we shared a moment.
00:54:06I'm not the kind of man
00:54:07to get close to a woman
00:54:08and then just disappear.
00:54:10It's not in my nature.
00:54:12I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:14Listen, Trixie,
00:54:16I have never
00:54:17met a woman
00:54:20like you.
00:54:22So incredible
00:54:23and kind
00:54:24and beautiful.
00:54:25So I know
00:54:26that you're the one
00:54:27for me.
00:54:29This guy's either nuts
00:54:31or a really,
00:54:32really good actor.
00:54:34Oscar worthy.
00:54:35Oscar worthy.
00:54:37No.
00:54:37First gift.
00:54:43Trixie,
00:54:44I know that
00:54:45you just lost your home.
00:54:46So I'm gifting you
00:54:47with your own
00:54:48new mansion.
00:54:49Worth $500 million,
00:54:51previously owned
00:54:52by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:55Second gift.
00:54:58This contains
00:55:00all the rights
00:55:00to my entire fortune,
00:55:03which is now yours.
00:55:04Entire fortune
00:55:05from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07Must be panties.
00:55:08They already spent
00:55:09their entire life savings
00:55:10on this clown show.
00:55:11They've got nothing left.
00:55:12Why, Sander,
00:55:14I really don't care
00:55:15for any of us.
00:55:15No, look,
00:55:16I know.
00:55:17I know that you are
00:55:18the farthest thing
00:55:19from a material woman.
00:55:20Okay?
00:55:21Which is exactly why
00:55:22my third gift
00:55:24is, um,
00:55:26well...
00:55:41Cleo!
00:55:41Cleo! Hey!
00:55:44Oh, my God.
00:55:46You found my dog.
00:55:51Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:53But with you, it's so much more.
00:55:55Trixie Amore.
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:03You know I can't say no to this doggo.
00:56:09Yes, I will marry you.
00:56:27Go, go, power couple.
00:56:30Woo!
00:56:31Okay, stop.
00:56:32The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:56:36Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is.
00:56:41No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:56:46Hey, I don't care if she's homeless or not, but I'm making this woman my wife, which means
00:56:51that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on earth.
00:56:56I understand.
00:57:01You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on earth.
00:57:05This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:15As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:22Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market.
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the Princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:57:31I bet my life you're all just actors.
00:57:35Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:57:37Come on, Lysander.
00:57:38What are we waiting for?
00:57:38Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:57:40What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us, the elites?
00:57:44Infect us with your poor people bad luck?
00:57:46She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:57:50Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum.
00:57:54She's utterly unmarriable.
00:57:58I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:58:03I'd handle them myself, but...
00:58:06I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:58:09Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:17Yes, hello, this is Lysander.
00:58:18Please bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:22Oh my gosh, I'm so scared.
00:58:25Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:58:35Uh, hello?
00:58:37Yes.
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm going bankrupt!
00:58:48Hey, hey, hey.
00:58:55Are you sure that was the call, Sasa?
00:58:57That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:59:01My company's dead.
00:59:02It evaporated.
00:59:04It's in thin air.
00:59:08That's impossible.
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho.
00:59:14You said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:16And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:20Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:23Then that means you're really Lysander Armstrong, the richest and most powerful man in the country?
00:59:33Trixie's marrying the famed war hero, the man every girl wants and every man wants to be?
00:59:41Now you believe me?
00:59:42Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
00:59:45No, there's got to be some trick to this.
00:59:48You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
00:59:51Sasa.
00:59:52Sasa.
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie.
01:00:02Because you've been in the military for so long, you don't know what a real woman can
01:00:05do for you.
01:00:07Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:12Do you rub your hands for me or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:16Ah!
01:00:16Ah!
01:00:18Ah!
01:00:20I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:26Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company.
01:00:34I don't blame her at all.
01:00:35Your double standards are incredible.
01:00:37Okay, you don't want me.
01:00:39Fine.
01:00:39But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:00:42I can give you a room full of pageant winners.
01:00:4418 years old.
01:00:46Fresh for the taking.
01:00:54I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:00:57Thank you, Devin.
01:00:59Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancee, but
01:01:06now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:09You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:01:12No, to all of humanity.
01:01:13So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:20Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:25They're imposters.
01:01:30I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:01:37So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40The goddess healer?
01:01:41You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical
01:01:46products?
01:01:47Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:01:51The goddess healer's motto is, the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong bereft.
01:01:58That means she's rewarding me.
01:02:00The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:02:04In fact, she's on her way now.
01:02:07So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:15If the president and the goddess healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed
01:02:20up war hero?
01:02:21We can break his legs, break his arms.
01:02:23No one would even bat an eye.
01:02:24She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:28FBI!
01:02:29FBI!
01:02:31You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:02:36Gotcha.
01:02:41Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:02:43No, don't arrest her!
01:02:46Trixie's a good person.
01:02:48Please, officer, don't arrest her!
01:02:50Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. William.
01:02:53What are you all doing here?
01:02:54The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch.
01:02:57We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:03:00Listen, officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:03:05She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition, Trixie gave her everything she had just
01:03:14to help her out.
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:18My fiance really is an incredible woman.
01:03:21She's an angel.
01:03:23Descended from heaven.
01:03:28You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:34He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:41And that's why it's twice the crime is stealing his identity.
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet.
01:03:51So this must be an imposter.
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:58But I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:04If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiance.
01:04:09You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:10Let's go.
01:04:31Let's go.
01:04:34Get him.
01:04:35If you can.
01:04:38Let's go.
01:05:26Is that enough pain?
01:05:28Or do you want more?
01:05:37Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:05:42Grandma.
01:05:44Meet my new fiance.
01:05:48Wow, your new fiance.
01:05:50He's so manly.
01:05:52Much better than your last one.
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:56It's Butch's loss.
01:05:58Trixie has always paid so much better than Marissa.
01:06:02She's like a shining star in the sky and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:07Bitch, we name calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right fam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor.
01:06:13Drown out the poor.
01:06:15Drown out the poor.
01:06:16Drown out the poor.
01:06:18Drown out the poor.
01:06:19Drown out the poor.
01:06:20See, Trixie?
01:06:21You've got no connections.
01:06:23No power.
01:06:24You can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:27We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:35Let them eat cake.
01:06:37Hm.
01:06:46You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:48Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:49Attack.
01:06:50Attack.
01:06:53Attack.
01:07:07You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:15What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was.
01:07:18I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding.
01:07:28Dammit!
01:07:29Dammit!
01:07:30Dammit.
01:07:31Dammit!
01:07:31Dammit!
01:07:31Dammit!
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun too.
01:07:34Hahaha!
01:07:35That'll teach you from messing with the Wickhams.
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:39We're cornered.
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:42Devon.
01:07:43You and your brother are both good men.
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:48They will be punished.
01:07:52Now hold still for me.
01:07:56Right. Ray rides the world.
01:08:08Holy fuck! Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:11By chanting the Goddess Healer's chant?
01:08:13Is she the Goddess Healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now. Thank you, Mr. Xie.
01:08:21See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:25No, please. I am just an ordinary girl. Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:30Sure.
01:08:32You hear that? She's just some average homeless girl in the streets.
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:39While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:43Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:50And who are you to judge me for what I do? God?
01:08:54Wrong.
01:08:56But you're close.
01:08:58Bullshit!
01:08:59I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:09:04You wanna cross the line so bad? Then let's see you try.
01:09:07Charge!
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death.
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:31You're not the grim reaper.
01:09:33What if it's a trap? That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her. She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:42I will.
01:09:47Left leaves the wrong breath.
01:09:56I'm fine. Nothing happened.
01:09:58You'll see soon enough.
01:10:00Oh, please. I really wanna die.
01:10:03And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:07Whoops!
01:10:08Just crossed it again.
01:10:10Whoops!
01:10:11And again.
01:10:12Nothing's happened to-
01:10:14Stop!
01:10:15Stop!
01:10:17Stop!
01:10:19Stop!
01:10:20Stop!
01:10:24No!
01:10:25No!
01:10:26Hey!
01:10:27What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything.
01:10:31Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:33I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:36If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:39Come on.
01:10:40Major.
01:10:41Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:53Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you if you'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:05Oh, please.
01:11:06You hurt us first.
01:11:08At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:11But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:16Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:11:20You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:23You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife.
01:11:37And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:42Husband.
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:45But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:52Oh really?
01:11:53Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:57You've got nothing on me.
01:12:02Yes.
01:12:03Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:10Goddess!
01:12:11Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:14Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:19Get the VP. We're leaving now.
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy too.
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:36A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming.
01:12:39Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:43Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:47You hear that, everyone?
01:12:48There is no way lowlife Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention,
01:12:58so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:13:00No.
01:13:01My granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:03Reversing time just to heal someone's wound,
01:13:06only the goddess healer can do that.
01:13:08Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:17Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:23and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:27Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:32I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:34You can only dream of what you can never have,
01:13:37while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:40Look, I don't know what circus school you went to,
01:13:43but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:45It ain't working.
01:13:46You can't just fake the...
01:13:49Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:13:53It's like real magic.
01:13:55Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex,
01:14:03won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No.
01:14:09Trixie, look, I believe you.
01:14:12You saved me.
01:14:14Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:17No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:21We'll riot against you now.
01:14:23Tear her apart!
01:14:24Tear her apart!
01:14:26Tear her apart!
01:14:28Tear her apart!
01:14:29Tear her apart!
01:14:31Tear her apart!
01:14:33Tear her apart!
01:14:37Tear her apart!
01:14:38Tear her apart!
01:14:43Tear her apart!
01:14:47Tear her apart!
01:14:50Tear her apart!
01:14:50Tear her apart!
01:14:50Tear her apart!
01:14:50Tear her apart!
01:14:51Tear her apart!
01:14:53Tear her apart!
01:14:56Tear her apart!
01:14:59Tear her apart!
01:15:03this already once, okay? Right, Secretary Cho? This actor Trixie Hire pulled this weird stunt to try to
01:15:10bankrupt me, but you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still,
01:15:15right? Yes, we all thought he was a fraud. What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander
01:15:23Armstrong, and how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding. The moment you wake up, you fall under
01:15:29this vixen spell, and now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the President?
01:15:35He is the General. Oh, but he's in trouble now. Did you hear that? Even the Vice President knows me
01:15:42as an important ally to the nation's leader. So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:48We got the VP and the President. On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie. I told you.
01:15:56Now punish them, Vice President Langley. This is treason. Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped
01:16:02from your military honors and titles. Hurry! The Goddess Healer needs us.
01:16:13You can't do that, Mr. Vice President. My brother is a war hero. He single-handedly saved this country
01:16:19from terrorist attack. He was in a coma for two years. If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would-
01:16:23Enough! You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family. Not just your brother.
01:16:30Yeah. It's okay. Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life.
01:16:41And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President. I never gave a
01:16:44fuck about any damn titles. I truly saved a good man.
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiance.
01:16:59And what can you do about it? Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:04My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military. Let's try it out on them.
01:17:12Hold on, Mr. Vice President. There's no way that you're taking this seriously. Put innocent
01:17:16civilian lives in danger? Despicable. What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions
01:17:22are disrespecting power. Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them. Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:29Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them. Wait, that's the president.
01:17:57Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry, Madam President. That was, they were totally aiming for Trixie,
01:18:12the fraud in the middle. What is this? Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon,
01:18:18Madam, for your military. This is a war crime. These are innocent civilian lives you're messing
01:18:23with. You're the uncivilized buffoon. I can shoot whoever I want. I have the presidential contract.
01:18:28With great power comes great responsibility. And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made
01:18:33with the contract I gave you? What are you doing? Reverse the poison and take it out of the present
01:18:38before it's too late. That is easy. There's no need. I'll save everyone.
01:18:57It's raining gold!
01:19:01What's happening? Trixie doesn't have that kind of money. It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:07She, she, she is? She is a criminal. Don't worry, Madam President, we will arrest her and we'll throw
01:19:14her in prison. I'd be quiet if I were you, because you're the one that would be going to prison
01:19:18once
01:19:19everyone is healed up. What are you talking about? The president literally came here to give me my
01:19:24billion dollar contract. This contract? Yeah! Yes! Thank you, first gentlemen.
01:19:57My contract, you bitch! And that's not all.
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day. There is only a need for a vaccine if there
01:20:17is a virus.
01:20:18Don't you realize? Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa. Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:28And that's something I cannot tolerate. So prepare yourself, because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:35What are you going to do? The president is here, and I just invented the best
01:20:41biomedical products in the world. You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now. So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll... She's going to give me my billion dollar...
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:08What? Why? Why are you attacking me, Madam President? You're supposed to be giving me the
01:21:13billion dollar contract. You wish, you idiot!
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:24I don't understand. I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:30And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:36You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:40The one and only. And it's... Her.
01:22:03Welcome, goddess.
01:22:11Uh, we, uh... You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:18How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person, to help those in need,
01:22:30and make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:33No, so that means the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39Then she took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was our golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancée and best friend.
01:22:47But after everything you've done, we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please, I swear. I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is. Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:00She's an amazing person. And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:05She's gonna be my wife. Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:11It doesn't matter who she is.
01:23:15I love you.
01:23:30All her gold. All her clothes. All that could have been mine.
01:23:35This is all your fault.
01:23:37You seduce me!
01:23:39Don't help me!
01:23:40You were the one that came on to me, you himbo.
01:23:44Please, Trixie, give me another chance. I want to be rich again.
01:23:49I'll be your slave.
01:23:51I'll kiss the ground you walk on.
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize. But it's too late now.
01:23:57All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:02You two should be locked up.
01:24:03And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction, arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa. I never loved you.
01:24:14It's your fault.
01:24:15I was only with your damn money.
01:24:17I don't care.
01:24:18You were rich.
01:24:19I'll see myself now.
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:48Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:50Right now?
01:24:52Yes!
01:24:55Well...
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02I do.
01:25:03You may kiss the bride.
01:25:06There you can see now.
01:25:08Bye!
01:25:09Hope you see for once.
01:25:11Bye!
01:25:11You
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