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Taskmaster - S16E07 - I'm Off to Find a Robin [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
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00:34Hello!
00:36Thank you. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38I'm Greg Davies and I'm a smorgasbord of tasks for you from a wondrous gang of loons.
00:43And if that's not enough, I've also got a second camera trained on me at all times.
00:47Felt cute. Might delete later.
00:48.
00:51We are tip deep in the competition.
00:53So let's crack on!
00:55Please welcome...
00:56Julian Clary!
00:58Lucy Baumarkt!
01:00Sam Campbell!
01:03Sue Perkins!
01:04And Susan Wocolmo!
01:08And next to me, a man who told me that if he sees the pilot of any plane he boards
01:12is a woman,
01:13he immediately leaves.
01:15He believes and I quote that their concentration spans and motor skills are not suited to the job
01:28Thank you for my introduction. You're welcome. Well, I do worry about these bits Greg
01:32I worry that sometimes they create an atmosphere that isn't
01:35Entirely pleasant or useful for the show. Thank you. I'm worried that I've created a rod for my own back
01:40Would you like to see it? Yeah
01:44I've created a rock
01:45I've created a rod for my own back, and then I talked about this the rod set up
01:51So what's the punchline something about hook? Oh, yeah, I think I've got a bite
01:58Think I've got a bite's fine. Yeah, have you had Botox?
02:05Well
02:07Straight yes or no? There's definitely no, but why would you ask?
02:11Because I just in the light I can see how smooth it all is
02:15I'm younger than me
02:16It never used to be smooth
02:17I'm a lot like two decades younger
02:19I know you're younger than me
02:21You had some fillers or something?
02:22No
02:23On we go with the price tag
02:27Well, Greg, they've been asked to bring in
02:29The thing that is most guaranteed to make you groan
02:33Oh
02:35Oh dear
02:36Oh
02:36The potential for some awful things is high
02:39The thing most guaranteed to make you groan in Greg's opinion gets the big five
02:42And the winner's going to groan their way home with five groan-worthy things
02:46Oh
02:46Oh
02:47Oh
02:49I mean the chances of these not being sexual based on what I've seen from these people so far
02:54Are zero
02:55I'll be less surprised than I was when I found out Alex has had cosmetic surgery
03:02Hi, Stan
03:03What thing have you brought in that makes you groan?
03:06Oh, this thing is disgusting
03:07Let's have a look at it
03:08It's a toothbrush
03:09Oh
03:11Oh
03:11Oh
03:12Oh, that's against God
03:14Oh
03:15There's a lot going on there, isn't there?
03:18I mean, I can barely look at this thing
03:19It's just
03:20Don't you find that just really groan-y?
03:22I think I'm groan-y because I'm so bemused by you
03:27Thanks, Sam
03:27Next
03:28All right, Lucy
03:29It's a serious thing
03:30Okay
03:30It's a lesson in the importance of cartilage
03:37I've taken the form of this skeleton
03:40So it's pointing, obviously, to the areas that have cartilage
03:45Why is this supposed to make me groan?
03:47If you don't have cartilage, you'll groan when you bend and lift
03:54And giving a gift to whoever wins to say, look after your cartilage
03:59And how do we look after our cartilage?
04:02We don't know
04:06I mean, both of them have made me groan
04:08So I suppose, yeah
04:10Successful so far
04:11Okay
04:11Hello, Julian
04:12Hello
04:13What have you brought in that might make one groan?
04:16Oh, it's so awful, this
04:17Every year for my birthday, my husband goes into a shop
04:21And asks them for the most hideous thing they've got on sale
04:25Right
04:26And this is what he got me a couple of years ago
04:28And every time I look at it, I groan
04:35It's so awful
04:36Someone said it looks like Alex without his beard
04:40I don't know, he's got a normal width neck
04:43Well, it does make me groan every time I see it, which is quite often
04:46But you can't bring yourself to throw it away because you're...
04:49This is the golden opportunity to pass it on
04:53Good
04:53Hello, Sue
04:55Hello
04:55What have you brought in that might make a man or a woman groan?
04:58I thought, what would be the best way to make everyone groan?
05:00And I thought, well, maybe if I asked an authority figure
05:03And so I asked the king of the birdmen and he said yes
05:07I've got a voice that could stun a goat from over a mile away
05:11And when I ask for a loud noise, it gets done
05:16Just ask the winged birdmen, Brian Blessed, you groan
05:21Like your life depends on it
05:23Come on, come on
05:27Groan
05:27You feckless bastards
05:30The most groan
05:33The full recording is on this memory stick
05:35You've really outdone yourself there, Perkins
05:37That's a lot of
05:38That is stupendous
05:39Susan
05:39Oh
05:41Traditionally, this is not your strongest round
05:44No
05:44And you're following a recording of Brian Blessed
05:47Good luck
05:48As Greg so kindly said
05:50I have been performing quite poorly when it comes to the prizes
05:55And here are a few of the shit prizes
06:00That's actually very good
06:01One big present to make you groan
06:05So have you collected these from the previous winners of the show?
06:07Yes, I have
06:08They're all so shit that all these guys actually gave them back to me
06:13That's very good
06:14Right, I'm going to give out some quick points
06:17All right then, who is the least likely to make you groan?
06:19Well, I'm not going to give anyone one point because I liked all of them
06:21So that's good, isn't it?
06:22That's surprising
06:23I'm going to give Sam and Lucy two points
06:25And I'll tell you why
06:26It's because it was their explanation that made me groan
06:28Not the item
06:29Right, two points each, well done
06:30Yeah, that's good, isn't it?
06:32Um, I'm going to give...
06:33LAUGHTER
06:36I'm going to give Julian three points
06:38Ask me why
06:39Why are you going to give Julian three points?
06:40Because that thing's awful
06:41It does make me groan
06:42But the sentiment behind it is rather lovely, I think
06:44Oh
06:45And, um, so I'm sort of not giving him too many points to celebrate his wonderful marriage
06:49Oh
06:49There's a logic there somewhere
06:50OK
06:51I'm going to give Susan, because my God, she's had a nightmare in this series
06:55I'm going to give her four points for her very clever idea of getting her shit prizes back
06:59And putting them all together
07:00And, of course, Brian Blessed will get the five points
07:03There we go
07:04It's five points to Sue Pekin
07:05Yeah
07:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:08Right, let's stop talking about cosmetic surgery
07:12LAUGHTER
07:13And let the tusking commence
07:15But be warned, it's a minefield out there, Greg
07:29Hello?
07:31Can I come in?
07:33Please do
07:34This looks fiendish
07:35All these belts
07:37Ah
07:39That says don't on it
07:40But I do
07:42I want to
07:42I won't
07:44Oh, piss it
07:47I know
07:48Right
07:48I found some little bits of paper that say
07:51Vibration danger
07:53Big light
07:56Leaves
07:56Sound
07:58UV light
07:59Smoke
08:02Vibration
08:02I was going to have summer's party
08:04Do whatever you like with these switches for five minutes
08:07OK
08:08You will then do a task in the lab for five minutes
08:11All right
08:12The conditions in the lab will change according to when you switch the switches in here
08:17So there's a cause and effect situation
08:20The annoying thing is I don't know what the switches do
08:23I have told you what the switches do, it's all on those labels
08:25Your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task
08:32Confident and Alex are two words one doesn't associate
08:37I wonder what the task is
08:38What do we put in there?
08:40Leaves
08:40Leaves
08:41Surely that's the main switch
08:42I expect danger is that one
08:44I don't know
08:46I don't think I trust you
08:48What's that one?
08:49I don't know what that one is
08:50So like with this, what's the point of like trying to like
08:54What will be will be?
08:58I really think that piss it is an underrated explanation
09:01I really enjoy piss it
09:03It's lovely, isn't it?
09:05It's nice, it's harmless, it's warm
09:09The task, as far as I can work out
09:11Before we get on a bit
09:12It's largely arbitrary
09:13They don't know which label goes with which switch
09:16Bit like giving a toy to a child
09:17And saying don't play with that for five minutes
09:18Yeah
09:19And probably they all did
09:20Let's crack on
09:21Yeah
09:22OK, get ready Greg
09:23Here they all are
09:24Flicking themselves silly
09:26Oh God
09:28I'm confident you understand the task
09:30Your time starts now
09:32Oh, it's something that leaves
09:35If I leave it under, leaves keep coming
09:37Well, it depends if it is leaves, of course
09:38Of course
09:39Yeah
09:40I turn it off again
09:41Right
09:41That one's already on
09:43So I'll turn that one off
09:49I mean, that's danger right there
09:51That nearly took my hand off
09:52Well, it does say don't
09:53I mean, lights are not going to bother me, are they?
09:56I'm going to give myself a bit of time
09:57Once I'm in there
09:58Just to muck around
10:07Blimey, it's all happening
10:09This one?
10:10That one?
10:12All right
10:13Now we're going to have gone up
10:14Wait a second, would you?
10:21It wasn't a very long rest
10:23No
10:23I'm going to have a bit of this one
10:26I don't what though?
10:27I don't like going upside down
10:30Spiders
10:31And hot dogs
10:32You know the ones in tins
10:38I don't like, you know, if you pull
10:40Cotton wool apart
10:44Folk music
10:47I don't like ice cubes
10:49What if that's leaves?
10:51I've been denied the pleasure of leaves
10:5330 seconds
11:01Almost done, is it?
11:02Three seconds
11:07Okay, I'll see you in the lab, Sam
11:09Well, yeah, great
11:11Thank you
11:12What have I done?
11:15Oh, dear
11:16What have I done?
11:22What have you done, Julian?
11:24Did you think?
11:24Well, we just didn't know
11:26You know, it was quite a lot of fun
11:27No, and yet
11:27Across the series
11:28You seem a very intelligent man to me
11:30And yet you spent a long time
11:31Flicking those switches on and off
11:33Well, there was nothing else to do
11:36There was no cheery chat from Alex
11:38No
11:38There never is
11:40Well, Sam said
11:42I want to buy myself some time
11:43Once I'm in there
11:44To muggle around
11:47Yeah, it is about that
11:49In a way
11:50Do you know when two samurai
11:53Encounter
11:54This is real
11:55Yeah
11:56When they encounter each other
11:57They're like, do you know what I mean?
11:59And the first one to move
12:00Will often be slain
12:04And also, a samurai can tell if he will defeat another samurai
12:07Just by watching them make a cup of tea
12:09Because they're like
12:10They see how effective they are
12:14I've moved
12:15I'm happy to be slain
12:16Just to get out of this chat
12:19What's next, Alex?
12:20Here are Sam and Susan
12:22And the results of their switching
12:31Oh my god
12:34So you've decided
12:35Oh my god
12:36Yeah
12:36You've decided the conditions for this task
12:38Yeah
12:39I'm scared
12:41What happens in here
12:42Is all your fault
12:43Okay
12:46Feet close together, please
12:48Why?
12:48It's important
12:51That's not good for balance
12:52No
12:53Balance the most teas on the shelves
12:55So these are the teas
12:56Uh-huh
12:56Okay
12:57Oh, you must stay on the platform
12:59Throughout the task
13:00You have five minutes
13:02Your time starts when Alex is confident
13:04You understand the task
13:06Where are the golf teas?
13:07Here
13:08Where are the shelves?
13:09Here
13:10I'm going to start the clock
13:11Now
13:15Absolutely terrified
13:24Do you like it?
13:30My method was kind of doing everything at once
13:33So I guess everything wild will happen
13:47Why is it saying my name?
13:49Well, you switch the sound button on
13:51I can't work under these conditions
13:53Oh my god
13:55Oh my god
13:56Oh my god
13:57Oh, my God!
14:01Sam Campbell.
14:02Sam Campbell.
14:04Sam Campbell.
14:07No!
14:08What time are we up to?
14:10You've got 2 minutes 50 left. No teas yet.
14:17Can you remember what you did now in the...?
14:19Oh, this is when I have a break? Yes.
14:21Right, fine. Well, then, this is the most I'm going to get on.
14:24Oh, yeah, it was only, like, 30 seconds, wasn't it?
14:2620.
14:27Sam Campbell.
14:29Sam Campbell.
14:30I mean, how is that falling off even through that?
14:33When you turned on the vibration switch.
14:34Now I know I shouldn't have touched any of the bloody switches.
14:37That's going to ruin it.
14:46Oh, yeah!
14:51Sam Campbell.
14:53Sam Campbell.
14:54Sam Campbell.
15:00That was really tough.
15:05I think that's pretty bloody good.
15:11I think that being juggled around on a vibrating platform, it sort of suits you.
15:16Yes.
15:17Does that make sense?
15:19You're not the first person to say that.
15:23I mean, did she...
15:24Well, we saw just two.
15:25But she did realise halfway through, if she hadn't pressed any of the switches at all, the conditions would have
15:29been perfect.
15:30And that's sort of key to this, really, if they'd not flicked any switches.
15:33Yeah, just chilled out.
15:35Sam actually did pretty well, right?
15:37Well, he created a method...
15:37He did all of his flicking in a short period of time.
15:39He did well despite that, I'd say.
15:41So, he created a method of balancing the teas within a task which was balancing on it, and he also
15:45balanced a bowl on the bottom of the shell.
15:47So, I don't know if that counts.
15:48I thought that creation was legit.
15:51Oh, OK.
15:52That's what I thought.
15:53Sort of 87, I suppose.
15:54Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
15:55Really?
15:56Wow.
15:57I know.
15:57Yeah, I guess I'll take 87, yeah.
15:59Right, join us after the break.
16:01If I were you, I'd leave that guff-soaked sofa and get some fresh air for a few minutes.
16:05Fart outside!
16:06Live in it at all!
16:09APPLAUSE
16:18Hello!
16:19Hello!
16:20I'm afraid to say you've woken me from my power nap, and I'm not a happy boy.
16:24Chill out, dude.
16:26Before the break, the cast were presented with some switches, fully aware that how and when
16:30and if they were switched would directly affect the conditions of the next task.
16:35Here is everyone else.
16:37Your time starts now.
16:40I'll start with a bit of leaves.
16:50Immediately for the leaves.
16:52Oh, but see, oh, it was leaves, it was leaves, it was leaves!
16:57I need to...
16:59What I say!
17:06Fucking hell, sorry!
17:09Please.
17:12Oh, for God's sake.
17:14Sue Perkins.
17:16Sue Perkins.
17:17Oh, I don't want to listen to that.
17:18Sue Perkins.
17:19No, I don't want to listen to that.
17:20Sue Perkins.
17:21Sue Perkins.
17:24Sue Perkins.
17:25I just farted on the...
17:28Sue Perkins.
17:28Sue Perkins.
17:29I just farted on the...
17:30Sue Perkins.
17:31Sue Perkins.
17:32Don't make me fart in the darkness into my own name!
17:35Sue Perkins.
17:37Sue Perkins.
17:37Don't like UV light very much.
17:40My mum thinks it was because I was in an incubator to help me grow.
17:48Sue Perkins.
17:49Sue Perkins.
17:51Yeah.
17:51Sue Perkins.
17:53Yeah.
17:55Oh!
17:58And we're done!
18:00Can you stop me vibrating?
18:01Yeah.
18:04Thank you, Julian.
18:05Thank you!
18:07Goodbye, Sue.
18:08That sounded very final, and after what I've done in this room,
18:10I don't play me. I'm so sorry for everyone.
18:14LAUGHTER
18:19APPLAUSE
18:20Did you enjoy that task, Julian? I did quite.
18:23I mean, it was very sensory, wasn't it, with all the lights and the movement? Yeah.
18:27It was better than some I've sat through, anyway.
18:29There was a slight issue with Julian's, which we didn't really show there,
18:32but the vibration machine, it wouldn't turn off afterwards, so...
18:35Remember, you were on it for another minute after...
18:37Get your thrills where you can at my age.
18:41Sue, you said, in my opinion,
18:43the greatest thing that's ever been said on this show.
18:46LAUGHTER
18:47Please don't make me fart in the dark listening to my own name.
18:51LAUGHTER
18:53APPLAUSE
18:54Can I ask you about Sue's technique of balance?
18:57They're not balanced. You poke them through the shell.
18:59I was really desperate at that point, cos I...
19:02But, yeah, I know, cos the...
19:03LAUGHTER
19:05Is it more balanced than me just putting a bowl on the table?
19:09Yeah, you did allow 87 from Sam.
19:11Yeah.
19:12In that bottle of punch on the bottom shelf.
19:14Oh!
19:14No, I wasn't allowing that, I was allowing...
19:16Sorry, there's been some confusion.
19:18Ah.
19:18I was allowing his system of hanging things.
19:22Ah.
19:22Sorry.
19:23Now I feel really bad.
19:24No.
19:25Yeah, you've really fucked Sam over there.
19:27Yeah, you're pretty good at sticking things into other places.
19:30Yeah.
19:30It's balanced.
19:32It's balanced, man.
19:34It's balanced, man.
19:34So, we're saying that Sue didn't balance any T's?
19:36I'm afraid we are, because they were quite clearly pushed through the shelf.
19:40That is very harsh, but I accept it always.
19:42I should also tell you, then, that Julian did manage to balance nine T's on his shelves.
19:47WHISTLE BLOWS
19:48Lucy, 19.
19:50APPLAUSE
19:53What we haven't seen yet is the don't switch.
19:56Danger did go with don't.
19:58Shall we see what the danger switch did?
19:59Yes, please.
20:00OK, good luck, everyone.
20:01Here we go.
20:03I've spent however long just trying to avoid that button.
20:06That's all I've thought about the moment I've walked in.
20:09I mean, I've been brought up well.
20:11If something tells me not to touch it, I'm not going to touch it.
20:15Right, I'm going to start the task now.
20:20I can't say I wasn't warned.
20:23Still got one minute 45.
20:26Oh!
20:27I'm going to go for this one.
20:30How much danger can I endure? Ten seconds' worth?
20:32Well, you have now ten seconds left.
20:36Five seconds left, Lucy.
20:41Do you want me to press the button?
20:43You can't now, unfortunately.
20:45Push this gently!
20:48I'm going to go for this one.
20:56Do you know what? I was ten seconds away from avoiding my baser instincts.
20:59And I failed.
21:01APPLAUSE
21:05Oh.
21:06I really like it when you're disappointed in us.
21:09Is that something wrong with me?
21:12Well, we weren't to know that was going to happen.
21:14We did say, don't.
21:15Yeah.
21:17Heartbreaking, but good news to old Lucy.
21:19Yes.
21:20Yeah, I think she only didn't press it because she ran out of time.
21:23She wanted to.
21:23No, I wasn't going to.
21:24No, no.
21:25Were you a well-behaved child?
21:27I had to be.
21:29Oh, even me too.
21:29My mum was incredibly violent.
21:31LAUGHTER
21:35How does all that leave us?
21:37Well, it means that no-one gets any points.
21:39They were all disqualified except for Lucy Bowman, who gets five points!
21:42APPLAUSE
21:44Let's have a look at the scoreboard, can we?
21:46We can, and unsurprisingly, Lucy's in the lead with seven points.
21:49Well done, Lucy.
21:51APPLAUSE
21:53Let's have another one, please.
21:54Yes.
21:55In your face, Greg.
22:09Sorry, I didn't mean to kick the door, sorry.
22:12What larks.
22:14Already this is my favourite.
22:15Yeah, me too.
22:16I've always wanted to be a clown.
22:18Mixed emotions?
22:20Mainly joy.
22:24Oh, that's not edible.
22:26Now, fear.
22:28Any sign of that secret task yet?
22:33Pie Wayne in the face.
22:35Don't know who Wayne is.
22:37Do you know many Waynes?
22:39Rooney.
22:41Not him.
22:42Wayne is outside the front door.
22:44You may not touch Wayne, nor step on the red green.
22:49The red green?
22:51Now, what the hell is that?
22:53Well, you know a green?
22:54Yeah.
22:55A red one of them.
22:56If you miss Wayne with a pie, you must copy Wayne's dance moves for ten seconds.
23:01You must not touch Wayne.
23:03Fast as winds.
23:05Your time starts when you open the front door.
23:07Who is Wayne?
23:08Do you know him?
23:09I don't know him well.
23:11You can't touch any part of Wayne.
23:12I need to make that clear.
23:13I understand boundaries.
23:15OK.
23:16Are these pop-ups?
23:17Yeah.
23:18OK.
23:19Not a lot of faith for me then, is there?
23:21Do I take more than one pie?
23:23I'm not likely to miss him, am I?
23:30I'll start the clock as soon as you open the door.
23:38Oh, I see.
23:41Hiya, Wayne!
23:48That's Wayne.
23:50Oh, yeah, there he is.
23:54In the face.
23:55In the face.
23:55In the face.
23:56All right.
24:01That's brilliant!
24:12I love this.
24:13I'm shook with it, but I love that.
24:14Do you think sometimes you've lost some of the innocent joy of childhood, Julian?
24:19Because everybody else saw Wayne and went, oh!
24:22He started laughing and you went, oh, I see.
24:26I was like, that's just a child, everything.
24:30Nothing's changed.
24:31So, basically, they're going to be pie-ing one of those wavy-armed men from outside garages in the face.
24:38Not a great incentive to come back, is it, Alex?
24:40No, but I could sing my favourite hymn.
24:43Yes?
24:44Yeah, all right, that'll do.
25:16APPLAUSE
25:16I could sing my baby man, Wayne.
25:16You're pie-ing the face.
25:18Oh, I agree too, Greg.
25:20LAUGHTER
25:22Remember, as is common practice on Taskmaster, they can't stand on the red-green.
25:26So, let's begin with Susie and Susanna.
25:29So, Wayne's going to be operated by a switch.
25:32I've got to try and find the switch.
25:34That's part of him.
25:35That's his umbilical cord.
25:37Oh, so I can't...
25:43Right!
25:47That's not his face.
25:52You must dance.
26:03AHHHHH!
26:04That's ten seconds!
26:05That's ten seconds.
26:07Be careful.
26:08Lovely.
26:09Thank you, sir.
26:14OK!
26:16Mummy!
26:18Oh!
26:18Oh!
26:19Oh!
26:20Oh!
26:20Oh!
26:21Oh!
26:21Oh!
26:31Sue?
26:31Thank you, Sue!
26:33Wayne is my favourite.
26:35Come on, you little shit!
26:38Sue?
26:42Oh, my Christ...
26:53I can't see anything now.
26:57Basically, this is rather.
26:58OK.
26:59Yeah, that's 10 seconds.
27:00Whoop!
27:03Why did you have to pick this one after lunch?
27:06Come on.
27:08Ugh!
27:09Ugh!
27:09Ugh!
27:10Oh, shit!
27:12I'll stop the clock!
27:14Did I get it?
27:15Yeah!
27:22Where is his umbilicus?
27:32The naughty flamingo's gonna touch him!
27:36Naughty flamingo!
27:41Little fucker!
27:43Don't touch him!
27:46Come on, naughty flamingo!
27:48You've won my tarts on top of the film!
27:53Pin him!
27:57Take it!
27:59I've got the clock tree!
28:05It felt like it was a bit of a grudge for you in the end.
28:08Yeah, I mean...
28:09Take it, you little fucker!
28:12Yeah.
28:13There's only so much expressive dance I can do
28:14and I don't have the training.
28:15Susan's got training.
28:16She's got, you know, the depth of experience.
28:18She understands the biomechanics of the human form and art in general.
28:22I was just very, very frustrated and then blind
28:24and then the naughty flamingo spared my blushes.
28:27I like to see that sort of lateral flinking.
28:29The naughty flamingo was allowed to touch Wayne.
28:31Yes, yes, the flamingo could touch Wayne.
28:34Yeah.
28:34And did.
28:35And did.
28:35Now, Susan's told us repeatedly that she trained for three years at Radha.
28:40And I put it to you, Susan, that you weren't even attempting to pie Wayne for most of it.
28:44You were just enjoying the interpretive dance.
28:47Yeah.
28:47Yeah, and that's...
28:48I just was so...
28:50Like, as you say, when I saw him, it was so glorious
28:52and I'd sort of forgot the point of it.
28:55Yeah.
28:56But I had a good time.
28:57But the final pie-ing was...
28:58Well, it caught us by surprise.
28:59It caught me by surprise.
29:01Yeah.
29:01Three awful throws.
29:02Got nowhere near.
29:03The fourth, right in the face.
29:04Only took her a minute 39.
29:06Wow!
29:08Yeah.
29:09And what about old grudge match over there?
29:11Naughty flamingo, ladies.
29:12Yeah.
29:13Seven minutes 25.
29:15Wow.
29:15A little bit longer.
29:16Who's next?
29:17OK, we've seen the Suze.
29:18Now for Julian, Sam, Lucy and Wayne again.
29:26Julian, that's not his face.
29:28Now you have to dance on the dancing mat.
29:37That's lovely, Julian.
29:43Are you OK?
29:45Oh.
29:45What are you looking for?
29:46Something to get weighing down.
29:53Is that on his face?
29:55No, afraid not.
30:03That's lovely, Julian.
30:05I'll go get another pie.
30:06OK.
30:11I bought this from home.
30:13Can I try and mazu him?
30:19Now you have to dance, Julian.
30:25My enthusiasm for the dancing has rained, doesn't it?
30:29Yeah.
30:29It has rained.
30:30No?
30:31Yeah.
30:42Oh.
30:45Oh, man.
30:51Pretty close!
31:01Oh
31:01Can you hold the other end of that to trap him to trap what? I'll do what I'm told
31:13I got him surely surely surely I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got
31:19it. I got it. Yeah
31:33That's not my problem is it
31:38There you are
31:51Wait, don't touch me wait
31:56I've got the clock
32:01Wow got him I got way
32:07Julian your pie technique was dreadful, but I thought you were a very graceful dancer. Oh, thank you. You're welcome
32:15Anything else to say? I
32:18Thought the most dramatic thing we were gonna see in those attempts was some
32:24Shouting I got him big time
32:27He had it too good for too long
32:30What turned out to be the most dramatic thing was Julian Clary taking Wayne down with a swing ball. Yeah
32:37Lucy did you think the task force touch Wayne as much as you can?
32:42Oh
32:42The swing ball such timber as well. Yeah, you touched him big time. How with your hands?
32:52Did touch Wayne and even if you didn't there was one other rule which you may have broken as well
32:56Wow, you weren't allowed to touch the red-green of course. We always know that this is what happened
33:12Well over
33:13Oh, no. Yeah, why are you zooming in on people's feet?
33:16You sucker
33:18That's the fetish that is
33:21I mean, I am gonna disqualify them, but I also agree with them. You are sick
33:27The three of them very similar times Lucy actually three minutes 25 right relevant as that is. Yeah, Julian
33:34332 Sam three minutes 40 so what that means is that sue and
33:38Lucy don't get any points
33:46He's smiling he's hurting the reason you can't see he's hurting
33:57Because you do look like you have had to yeah, you look as smooth as fiberglass
34:04He's right you know look a canoe right
34:08Sam you get three points Julian four but five points goes to Susan will cover
34:16Okay, and now time for some product placement
34:32There's a bee out there
34:34There's a bee out there
34:35Yeah
34:35Okay
34:38Sorry, I shouldn't have come in too big should I?
34:43Perkins
34:44Horne
34:48Oh God
34:52Oh look, it's me
34:53You both look great
34:55You both look great
35:04She's pretty
35:06Erm
35:08Clans
35:11Oh, it's me with my eyes shut
35:13Oh, I do all my pictures like this
35:16I should have, I never told you, did I?
35:22Thank you
35:25Put yourself somewhere within
35:28Put yourself somewhere within the
35:30You must behave really weirdly
35:30Yeah, she's putting me on
35:31Put yourself
35:36If that started walking away, I mean
35:39So freaked out
35:40Put yourself somewhere within the boundary
35:44Put yourself somewhere within the boundary
35:47Put yourself somewhere within the boundary
35:47That's what my therapist says
35:49The person furthest from everyone else wins
35:51The person furthest from everyone else wins
35:52The people closest together both lose two points
35:55Also, throughout the task
35:57You must behave really weirdly
36:00You must behave really weirdly
36:04Really weirdly?
36:05Weirdly
36:06Weirdly
36:07You have to tell me twice
36:10You've got a maximum of ten minutes
36:11Your time starts now
36:14So you've just got to think
36:16Where would Sue Perkins put Sue Perkins?
36:19Well, there's no way of knowing, is there?
36:21No
36:21No, there isn't
36:26I think that some tasks are unfairly stacked in the favour of some contestants
36:30I mean, I don't want to pick on people but I have written down
36:32That throughout this, sometimes, Lucy and Sam have come across as
36:37Well, I've written absolutely deranged
36:46That's another part complete
36:48If you want to see someone forced to take home Susan's prizes for a second time
36:53Then by all means, please join us again for part four by...
37:07Hello, welcome back to the final part of the show
37:11Yes, and welcome to those who aren't watching Taskmaster 2
37:14That's absolutely fine
37:15It's about time we found out where the five competitors place the cut-outs of themselves
37:20The person furthest from everyone else wins
37:22But the two people closest together each lose two points
37:25Yowch
37:26Here's what they did
37:28Behave weirdly
37:29Can I behave like you?
37:31Thank you
37:31Yes, please
37:33Ah
37:34That would help
37:39No
37:41No
37:48No
37:48No
37:49No
37:51No
37:51No
37:51No
37:51No
37:51No
37:52No
37:52No
37:52No
37:52No
37:57No
37:57No
38:00I don't think anyone would be as obvious as...
38:03I don't think anyone would be as obvious as this
38:10There's an argument for just popping myself just there
38:16Olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly
38:24Where do you think Sue Perkins is going to put herself?
38:27Erm, there
38:28Sam Campbell?
38:29Erm, there
38:31Susan Wacoma?
38:33Erm, there
38:35And Julian Clary?
38:36Erm, there
38:37There
38:37That's quite near your one
38:39Yeah
38:39Why have you put it so close to Julian Clary?
38:42I fucking, I didn't know at the time
38:44It was a good one
38:45I can't believe it again
38:46Well you've still got eight minutes
38:49OK
38:57Olly, olly, olly
39:00So say I'll tear his head off
39:03Is that me then?
39:05Like what makes you, you?
39:06Well this
39:06Where your head is or your heart or your...
39:09It'll be a discussion
39:12I trust for some people this isn't weird
39:14This is exercise
39:15To me it's about the weird as it gets
39:20Urgh!
39:25I'm off fishing now
39:27So is it me that likes fishing in this scenario?
39:29Don't you like fishing?
39:31Don't you like fishing?
39:32Or bird watching?
39:32Yes please
39:32There is something boring
39:34Right
39:36I'm off to find a robbie
39:38So where do you think Julian Clary is going to put himself?
39:41Probably got bad hair on me
39:42Sam Campbell?
39:43They're going to be doing this
39:44They're going to be like
39:45Wooo!
39:48Oh!
39:48Olly, olly, olly, olly
39:50Olly, olly
39:52Olly
39:53I think it's now not near anybody
39:56Oh!
39:58Could do that
39:59But will that be far enough away?
40:01Olly, olly
40:05Okay
40:06Something about the boundary line
40:08Right
40:09On the horns
40:10By the boundary line
40:12Throw a coin on you
40:13And the coin toss it
40:19Thanks Sam
40:20Heads for that deer's head
40:22Tails for on the boundary line
40:25Heads for the boundary line
40:30Julian displays a continual and, to me, delightful contempt for Alex
40:37And this is the zenith, I think, doing an insulting impression of him
40:41Can I see it again?
40:42Yes
40:45Nothing I can do to help you
40:47Is that enough?
40:49That was, um, before his surgery.
40:54LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
40:56That's a really creditable impression.
40:58Thank you, it just came over me. He's irritating, isn't he?
41:02What we need to know is what the coin decided for Sue, of course.
41:06Before we do, I'll appraise you for a very creditable Chewbacca impression.
41:10OK, so we're going to find out if Sue is near the tossed head on the deer.
41:15This is it. This is the cliffhanger.
41:18Yeah. It's all about the toss. Here we go.
41:21Heads for that deer's head, tails for on the boundary line.
41:30Thank you, Sue. Thank you.
41:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
41:46Eight centimetres. Eight centimetres away.
41:49LAUGHTER
41:50Guys, so, look, I mean, I... I knew what had happened
41:52and even I was swept along by the narrative.
41:55LAUGHTER
41:56The coin was so cruel.
41:58Unfortunately, the people closest to each other lost two points.
42:01Listen, I'm just grateful I don't think I was disqualified in that round.
42:03You weren't, but you don't get any points.
42:05LAUGHTER
42:06Because the distances from one another...
42:08We can see it here.
42:09Sam was 14.24 metres away from everyone.
42:12Lucy, second, 13.
42:14Julian, third.
42:15Sue, fourth.
42:15Susan, fifth.
42:17But Julian and Susan both lose two points.
42:19So it ends up being one point to Susan, none to Sue,
42:20one to Julian, four to Lucy and five points to Sam Campbell.
42:24APPLAUSE
42:27I think that's a very satisfactory outcome.
42:29And it's progress, Sue, in a way,
42:31because you've been disqualified for two.
42:32But at least you've got no points this time.
42:35Let's have a glance at the scores.
42:36It's tight, except for Sue.
42:38Lucy, you're still in the lead with 11 points.
42:44OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage
42:46for the final task of the show!
42:48APPLAUSE
42:56Who will be reading the task?
42:58Sue Perkins.
42:59Catch three balls on your head.
43:03After you've caught a ball, you must shout,
43:05Ball!
43:06You may not step off your circles, move your circles,
43:11adjust your arms, or touch the balls with your hands.
43:15The fastest wins.
43:16Can we co-operate?
43:18I guess we'll find out.
43:21LAUGHTER
43:22Good luck.
43:23On your marks!
43:24Get set!
43:25And they're off.
43:27APPLAUSE
43:27Well, they're immediately off.
43:29Ball!
43:30Ball!
43:33Ball!
43:35Ball!
43:36Ball!
43:37Ball!
43:39Ball!
43:39Ball!
43:40Ball!
43:41Ball!
43:46Ball!
43:47Ball!
43:48Oh, my God!
44:00Over here
44:05You're done you're finished
44:06Oh
44:17Come in there's one hang on it's one coming in coming
44:24And then say it one
44:36Exciting hmm not for the first time the group confounded us by working together
44:41They did one to sue two to susan three to lucy four to sam five to julian clary
44:49In many ways we have three people in the 90s now in terms of the series susan you are in
44:54last place on 92
44:56Sue 95 lucy 99 then jump up to julian on 108 sam's in the lead on 120
45:06Yes, it's the final scoreboard for today. Well, it's a tight one sue
45:11Stranded on six the rest it goes 12 13 14 14 lucy and sam joint winners
45:20Yes, I break for very serious matters and we're going to settle this one right here on the studio floor
45:27In my drawer, I have two party poppers. Oh, I don't like them
45:32What are you going to do?
45:33Sam and lucy will fire their party poppers from their seated positions and the person who fires the contents of
45:37their party popper furthest wins simple as that
45:39We're all out of budget
45:42Lucy you ready three
45:46Two one
45:49I believe this is yours to take
45:52Wow
45:54You're going to have to measure this
45:59Thank you sir
46:02Furthest bit
46:05108 centimeters
46:21I believe this is yours
46:36show them a picture of Sue Perkins and they'll all go,
46:39oh, yeah, that's the lady who didn't like farting in the dark
46:42to the sound of her own name.
46:44Only three episodes to go,
46:46so let's appreciate tonight's winner once more...
46:49It's Lucy Bombard!
46:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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