- 15 hours ago
The Burbs S01E01 [Full Movie] [Full Story]Full EP - Full
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:58Transcription by CastingWords
01:28Transcription by CastingWords
01:30Oh God, I don't want to go back to work.
01:32You and Mars aren't going to have too much fun without me, are you?
01:34My maternity leave is going to be spent watching a window like Bravo,
01:38learning the choreography.
01:44I don't like that one bit.
01:50Stroll's over.
01:56Are you sure that house is empty?
01:58Yeah, right.
03:01Then I look at you
03:05And the world's all right with me
03:11Just one look at you
03:15And I know it's all right
03:18Shit, shit, shit.
03:20Wait! Wait!
03:26Stop! Stop!
03:28Stop! Don't leave me with these diapers!
03:34Hey, dude. Fire hair.
03:38I forgot.
03:39Nice to see you.
03:41Back on Asheville Place.
03:45Why you don't... you don't remember me?
03:50Sorry.
03:51Never been good at remembering faces.
03:53That's all right.
03:54Yeah, I always liked this street.
03:56You hear the thing about cul-de-sacs?
03:59There's only one way out!
04:03Have a great day, Robert.
04:08Bye now.
04:23They're okay.
04:25Things I'll do for you.
04:30Like moving here.
04:43Do you want me to stay?
04:44I can call Nina, tell her I need another week.
04:47What are we watching?
04:49How long has that house been empty?
04:5120 years.
04:52Give or take.
04:54You don't think that's weird?
04:56Not really.
04:57I'm sure they've got a good reason for hanging on to it.
04:58So there's a they.
04:59Who's the they?
05:00You know.
05:01Whoever owns it.
05:02Okay, shrug night.
05:04So you never thought about it?
05:06No, not really.
05:07Whatever.
05:08I know you gotta get to work.
05:09Naveen and I are catching the same train.
05:11The train pooling, he's calling it.
05:12But say the word, Noste.
05:13No, no, no.
05:14Gotta rip the band-aid off some way, somehow.
05:16It'll be me, myself, and I.
05:18And Miles.
05:19Together, alone, for the first time.
05:20I mean, no friends or family nearby, but that's why it's good.
05:24Yeah, because I'm not worried at all.
05:27You're giving me some very mixed signals here.
05:29I know.
05:31Get on the train.
05:32I love you so much.
05:33Mm-hmm.
05:33I love you too.
05:34I love you too, little man.
05:35And you can call me anytime, okay?
05:37I'm the guy saved in your phone as White Bob with the black thumbs-up emoji.
05:41And it'll never change.
05:44Try to get out of the house today.
05:54Can I help you?
05:59I'm sorry?
06:03Should he be listening to this?
06:05Well, he can't understand the words.
06:09Babies absorb these things.
06:12Okay.
06:13Oh!
06:15Oh, you must be Rob Fisher's wife.
06:19Oh, I heard you were back here to live.
06:26Well, this is fabulous.
06:28I was wondering when I would get to meet you.
06:31I don't get out much.
06:33I'm Lynn Gardner.
06:34I'm Samira, and that's Miles.
06:37Aw.
06:38He looks just like his mama.
06:41Samira.
06:42Such a pretty name.
06:43Is it African?
06:46Yes.
06:47Fascinating.
06:48I just live catty-corner if you ever need anything.
06:52And you must come to Wine Night.
06:54It's just a bunch of friendly neighbors dabbing and guzzling on my porch,
06:59and they are dying to meet you.
07:01I'm breastfeeding, unfortunately.
07:03Oh, pump and dump, my darling.
07:07Welcome to Ashfield Place.
07:18Hey.
07:19Hey.
07:20I got a very important question for my big sis.
07:23Mariah, Whitney, Janet, or Beyonce?
07:28When you gotta go?
07:29I'm not about to fight with you today.
07:31Well, that's not a fight.
07:31I miss you.
07:33How's my apartment?
07:34Well, if you're referring to the artist currently known as my new apartment, it's divine.
07:40Look, girl, your taste is impeccable, okay?
07:41And these views?
07:43Exquisite.
07:43How's my nephew?
07:44Cute as hell.
07:45Oh, yes, he is.
07:48Because we're twins.
07:50And see, that's why you go off FaceTime.
07:53And how is Hinky Mountain?
07:55Hinkley Hills is Caucasian.
07:58That's the burbs, babes.
07:59Am I a bad mom for bringing my melanated son out here?
08:03I don't know.
08:04Are you a bad mother for accepting a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood
08:07where there's practically no crime, really nice schools?
08:10I mean, make it make sense.
08:11This feels so isolated.
08:13I mean, every day is the same thing.
08:16I don't know what I'm doing.
08:17And I don't have anybody to teach me how.
08:19Well, you know she's looking after you.
08:21That's what daddy say, but you can't teach somebody how to swallow a baby from heaven.
08:25Amen to that.
08:26How am I going to get through maternity leave?
08:29I mean, I thrive in collaborative environments.
08:32I need structure and tangible goals.
08:35Bitch, I don't speak resume.
08:37I speak housewife.
08:39This is what you do.
08:40Pick up a little day drinking habit.
08:41Maybe a little pill habit or something.
08:43Something cute.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Hard to do when you got a tit gremlin.
08:46Yeah, you could have kept that one.
08:48Well, baby, you just need some friends.
08:50I have friends.
08:51I mean, in a 10-mile radius.
08:52None of your neighbors ain't no potential there?
08:55Uh, no.
08:56It's a who's who of who's not it.
08:58These people are crazy.
09:00Well, I'm just spitballing, though.
09:01I know.
09:02I know, and I appreciate you.
09:03And I love you.
09:04And I'm going to come and visit you soon.
09:06Okay?
09:07And I know you would have chapped Mariah.
09:09I don't know her.
09:11Love you.
09:12Bye.
09:15Naveen?
09:19Look at us.
09:21Train buddies.
09:23Commute comrades.
09:25Megan filed for divorce.
09:26What?
09:27She was waiting for me when I got home yesterday.
09:30Suitcases at the bottom of the stairs.
09:31Like, out of a bad movie.
09:34Shit.
09:35Said she's been unhappy for a long time and wants to start over while she still has her youth.
09:39Said she can't stand another day of my moodiness.
09:41I'm not even...
09:45I'm not even that moody, Rob.
09:49She's fucking her dentist.
09:52Dr. James.
09:53The only one who takes my insurance.
09:54So that's fucking great.
09:56I should have known she was getting way too much dental work done for someone who has perfect teeth.
10:01She does have great teeth.
10:03Right?
10:03Two cleanings in a week.
10:04She said she needed to get a filling.
10:06Oh.
10:07Fuck.
10:09Remember what you said at my bachelor party?
10:11No.
10:12I was drunken on three different classes of drugs.
10:14We were in Miami.
10:15My jaw was in Texas.
10:16You grabbed my face and you said,
10:19Never trust a Megan.
10:22Nostradamus, motherfucker.
10:23I should have listened.
10:24I'm sorry, mate.
10:26Anyway, let's talk about you.
10:28Enough about me.
10:29How's the little man?
10:30Oh, God.
10:31He's the best.
10:32Perfect.
10:33I mean, he doesn't sleep.
10:34And he shits like a trucker.
10:36But wouldn't change it for the world.
10:38Nice.
10:39And Samira?
10:41She keeps asking questions about the house across the street.
10:47Really?
10:48Yeah.
10:53What'd you tell her?
10:55What is there to tell?
10:57What do you tell her?
11:09Do you tell her?
11:32you know what you are absolutely right
11:42i attempted to leave the house today during daylight hours yes and i met lynn and she's
11:49exactly as you might have described nosy and extremely abstract sense of personal space
11:54yeah that's it and um she invited me for drinks with the neighbors she did you should go little
12:02man i can get some qt i think i might i want to see who i'll be there
12:1020 years huh so you you must have known them who the grants ah what so you did know them
12:16you're doing that thing what thing that thing you do when you get a little obsessed
12:22it's the lawyer in you you lock in remember your ramen conspiracy i know it wasn't ideal to get
12:27banned from the local bodega but i still stand by my theory that they were running drugs with
12:31the instant noodle cups it was right there i mean you were 100 onto something i mean they didn't
12:36even have a bodega cat what kind of bodega doesn't have a bodega cat babe i'm not being obsessed okay
12:40just humor me so tell me what you know about the creepy house family they lived across the street
12:48from us does anyone ever really know their neighbors yes i knew my neighbors first and last name we was
12:53all up in each other's business you did okay oh by the way speaking of being all up in each
12:58other's
12:58business megan left naveen so i guess i owe you 10 bucks you always call it also even worse
13:05shagging the dentist what yes oh my gosh never trust megan that's what i said do that's right
13:13allegedly babe please don't leave me where am i gonna go oh yeah you're a trap now
13:23love you honey love you too and if a cheater won't be the dentist thanks babe that means a lot
13:29somebody we don't know wow
13:39the next time that beast uses my lawn as its personal port-a-potty i am gonna get out my
13:45glue gun well break out the crayons and color me thrilled it's samara so close come come come
13:53sit sit sit uh oh this is rob fisher's way oh from across the street dana richards is the name
14:01it's very nice to finally make your acquaintance likewise samira samira oh i'm so bad with names
14:09we haven't seen you around before we were starting to think that rob made you up no no i'm real
14:14just a new reclusive mom with leaking nipples
14:19now dana is a retired marine oh very distinguished lots of medals wow also i'm a real handy andy
14:28i have noticed not to be nosy but uh you have some spots on your fence that are pretty effed
14:34up and i
14:35can fix those for you i'm here for it because the only screwdriver i'm familiar with contains
14:39vodka and here's todd hi hi todd is a man of few syllables i don't think i've seen you around
14:48here before you've been keeping tabs on us through the window jimmy stewart which one of us is the
14:56murderer your face i'm sorry it's okay we all know that suburbia is a spectator sport you have not
15:08seen me my home shares no sight lines with yours and i keep out ours what do you do this
15:16and that
15:19what do you and rob do i'm a civil litigation attorney hello ceo i don't know what that is
15:25but good for you yeah rob is a book editor oh how'd you meet him a kate renata concert actually
15:32kate renata i'm going to look her up let me know what you find
15:36rob seems like he's romantic he is so how long have you guys lived here well for me just a
15:43couple
15:43years i wanted something with nature but my wife's idea of outdoorsyness is like a restaurant with a
15:49patio so this was our compromise and then she got deployed she's in military too cannot confirm or
15:58deny honestly despite what two decades of daytime television tell you there are a lot of people
16:05that don't care for middle-aged lesbians but i felt welcome for the most part i've been here eight
16:12months and ten days that's precise she's been here for freaking ever not as long as some marty and i
16:20moved here 15 years ago marty i can't wait to meet him um unfortunately he passed oh lynn i'm so
16:27sorry
16:27i thank you heart attack it's been almost half a year but i still feel his presence every day
16:39anyway these wine nights really help it's it's a bit like family that's right when you have neighbors
16:46you're never alone even when you want to be how'd you city kids end up here oh well rob's parents
16:53i'm
16:53sure you guys know they uh retired to one of those timeshare cruise ships last month that's a choice
16:58not mine but a choice well they had been asking us to come out here we didn't want to leave
17:02the city
17:03but our building got broken into we just felt like maybe we should we should try it out at least
17:09temporarily well thank goodness you're safe and sound here with us so what's the deal with that
17:17victorian house chainsaw massacre satanic cult jilted bride who severed the head of her lost
17:26unfaithful lover it's haunted as shit the lights go on and off all the time by themselves i've seen that
17:33it could just be filthy wiring a skeptic i like it when you're the resident historian catch her up well
17:40it was a little before my time a family lived there the grants yes and they had a daughter who
17:48died in the house
17:51there have been whispers of mysterious circumstances surrounding her passing maybe even
17:59murder and then the parents moved away and never sold the house so it just sits there rotting
18:08pissing off the hoa god i would give my left tent to go over there and do a little ghost
18:15hunt
18:16hi everyone it's cookie time it's like she just knows when my sugar drops rory likes to prey on
18:23vulnerable shard sippers business is much more lucrative in this neighborhood than in mine
18:27the usual and keep the change honey hey i saw a stroller at your door i am a great mother's
18:34helper
18:34if that's something that might interest you how old are you 13 next month i have my cpr certification
18:38and badges in child development early literacy and swaddling swaddling okay sunflower scouts my business
18:45card feel free to reach out anytime you're a notary public
19:08it's like they hurt us after all of this time we'd love a plot twist
19:27you'd really like this podcast it's two guys talking about medieval construction
19:31you are so boring you're so hot when you cook thanks babe how are the neighbors uh good a bit
19:38weird yeah well this is a cul-de-sac what's wrong with cul-de-sacs people are weird i think
19:43people are
19:44waiting cul-de-sac wait is it cul-de-sac like attorneys general this given get out yeah i hear
19:50you look when my family first moved here some people didn't know how to feel about us but it's
19:57a nice area and people like to think of themselves as nice so they try to act nice until they're
20:04actually nice that's nice don't get me wrong i was still a sad little kid until i found my people
20:09by his people he means an awkward gangly tween with a funny accent that had just been
20:13dragged across the pond for his dad's new job funny accent what are you talking about dude your
20:18accent pulled still pulls if we're being honest you know the girls called him prince rob i don't think
20:24that's true it's so true did you know the victorians for sale
20:30really i'm assuming that's what the for sale sign means yeah that would indicate that so why didn't
20:36you tell me somebody was murdered there
20:40what are you talking about the grant girl
20:43yeah right allison wasn't murdered that's just small town gossip allison
20:50so what happened to alison i honestly like it was so long ago that i don't remember a lot from
20:58but you did know her uh yeah but in the same way that anybody knows a neighbor why wouldn't you
21:05tell
21:05me that because i didn't think it was relevant babe it was like 20 years ago there's a reason they
21:11call
21:12hinkley hills the safest town in america okay well is there anything else you want to tell me about
21:18this place
21:30completed in 1902 hinkley house was built by hinkley hills founder h boris hinkley
21:36the mining magnet and philanthropist purchased 25 000 acres of hillside forest in 1898 and developed
21:44it into the thriving suburb that bears his name today hinkley hills is more than just an idyllic
21:52bedroom community it is a shining example of fellowship and family values hinkley hills the safest town in
22:00american america
22:10you
22:13you
22:14you
22:16you
22:16you
22:18you
22:22you
22:29you
22:30you
22:33you
22:36you
22:37you
22:37hello how may i help you do you have a periodical section collections of old newspapers
22:42microfiche maybe i'm doing okay thank you for asking
22:45oh
22:46i'm sorry i am a new mom and i'm practically feral
22:50i understand
22:52oh
22:53what a cute little mocha munchkin
22:57to answer your question yes we have bound copies of all the hinkley hills heralds dating back
23:03to 1946 is there a particular date you're interested in march fifteenth two thousand five
23:11one moment please
23:30i'm afraid that march volume has been checked out really it's due back in a week you can come back
23:35for it then
23:37it's a date judy
23:39it's a date judy
23:39it's a date judy
23:59bill you missed the spot dear
24:01bill you missed the spot dear
24:15oh
24:16shit she about to do it
24:18mm-mm-mm
24:19it's not even her house
24:22what's she feeding that doll
24:27she gonna be mad when she get cussed out
24:30spokesman
24:32oh my goodness
24:38you are not gonna believe this
24:42oh my gosh
24:44i know
24:45so are we gonna go in
24:46do white ladies love salads
24:48hell yeah we're going in
24:50BRB i'm gonna go get lynn
24:51rob honey if you were awake i would have asked what you thought but oh
24:54oh well
25:02i just gotta chill
25:06anybody else gotta chill
25:12i'll do it
25:13i was gonna offer
25:14but it seems like you already offered
25:16offered
25:17oh it's stuck
25:19oh it's stuck
25:23oh well
25:25oh
25:33i think
25:42everybody be cool
25:44i cannot be less cool right now
25:54i could not be less cool right now
25:57Your stage in the house.
26:00Hiya, homebuyers. How can I help you?
26:02We are looking for an enormous house for our niece.
26:08We would love a tour.
26:11Follow me.
26:13The owners have instructed that interior photography is not permitted.
26:18This is the library.
26:21Very tasteful. We enjoy literacy.
26:24All of the flooring is original to the house, which is built in the Queen Anne style.
26:29As you can imagine, a little love and a professional sander will go a long way.
26:35Oh, feel free to show yourselves around. Excuse me.
26:38Hello there. Welcome.
26:40They discriminate against older female buyers. This always happens.
26:43Oh, please.
26:44Our niece, you're a really bad liar.
26:47I had to get him to take the bait or he might have thrown us out.
26:50It's an open house, so by definition...
26:52I'm going to peek around.
26:53I'm going to peek around.
26:55Just go leave your...
26:56There you are.
26:58Let's go.
27:01Let's go.
27:28Let's go.
27:29Let's go.
27:36Let's go.
27:51Let's go.
27:56Let's go.
27:57Let's go.
28:00Let's go.
28:02Let's go.
28:04Let's go.
28:08Let's go.
28:15Let's go.
28:18Let's go.
28:30Let's go.
28:41Let's go.
28:45Let's go.
28:48Let's go.
29:00Let's go.
29:16Let's go.
29:19Let's go.
29:24Let's go.
29:26Let's go.
29:29Let's go.
29:30Let's go.
29:47Let's go.
29:49Let's go.
29:55Let's go.
30:09Let's go.
30:12Let's go.
30:14Let's go.
30:27Let's go.
30:39Let's go.
30:42Let's go.
30:51Let's go.
30:52Let's go.
31:09Let's go.
31:16Let's go.
31:22Let's go.
31:23Let's go.
31:24Let's go.
31:54Let's go.
31:55Let's go.
32:08Let's go.
32:10Let's go.
32:12Let's go.
32:14Let's go.
32:14Let's go.
32:14Let's go.
32:14Let's go.
32:14Let's go.
32:14Let's go.
32:15Let's go.
32:15Let's go.
32:15Let's go.
32:20Let's go.
32:23i got him five minutes on the left boob and he was out like a light that's great babe
32:28great it's a miracle okay if he can go to sleep when it's dark outside in a stationary position
32:32that is a game changer a life-affirming moment what are you looking at your brownies are still
32:40there wait really why won't he eat the goddamn brownies maybe he doesn't fuck with gluten
32:49then throw them out and give us the plate back that's a good plate it doesn't make sense
32:52everyone likes brownies they're the beyonce of dessert and if they don't they're just being
32:58contrary jinx maybe you just didn't see you put in there the camera was on on sorry i just love
33:05it
33:05when you get all lawyery order in the court oh counsel please approach the bench i object
33:10is there anything else you've noticed curtains opening and closing could he be watching us
33:15definitely could be i think we better
33:23he always knows no i got too cocky i flew too close to the sun and now he's punishing me
33:28like a tiny vengeful god it's all right i'm gonna go drive him around okay
33:37i'm coming i'm coming
33:42thank you
33:45be back in a second
33:47love you
33:48love you get some rest
34:01fuck it
34:06reclaiming my plate
34:09what's he think he is not eat my brownies i love my brownies i eat it my damn self
34:42he can keep the damn place
34:58oh shit
35:00ah shit
35:02shit
35:03shit
35:03shit
35:31Is everything all right?
35:32Hands where I can see him.
35:34What's happening?
35:35We got a call about a trespasser at the old Grant House.
35:37I'm guessing matches the description.
35:40Hey!
35:42What the hell is going on?
35:43New owner said they saw a black person skulking around the property.
35:47This is a big misunderstanding.
35:49Is it?
35:50Because apparently it happened twice.
35:51I was just dropping off brownies.
35:53This is my wife.
35:54And our house, where we live with our son.
35:57Fuck off.
36:00Robert Fisher.
36:02Danny Daniels.
36:03From high school.
36:05I heard you move back.
36:09Baby, it's okay.
36:10Mommy's...
36:10Sorry, man.
36:12You know we gotta take the call.
36:13This is nuts.
36:15Ah, consider this drop, my good man.
36:19Aw.
36:21Yeah, don't worry about it.
36:22They all kind of look like that at that age.
36:26Robert Fisher.
36:28As I live and breathe.
36:30You folks have a great evening.
36:36Did you just thank the cops?
36:39Oh, shit.
36:41But...
36:42What's wrong with me?
36:44Sorry, babe.
36:45I...
36:47We can't live across the street from someone like that.
36:50I mean, what would have happened if I hadn't gotten there when I did?
37:00What's up, man?
37:00This is some bullshit.
37:02That freak, Nark, will rue the day he stepped foot in Hinkley Hills.
37:05Huh, yeah.
37:06Just used rue the day in a sentence.
37:08You're welcome.
37:11Hey.
37:13Todd told me what happened.
37:14I heard it on the police scanner.
37:17What the hell?
37:18What do you need, babe?
37:20You need some wine?
37:20How about some ice cream?
37:22You want a hit, man?
37:23I know people.
37:24I'm people.
37:25Say the word.
37:26Okay, we can hold on the ladder, but I could use some wine.
37:30Yeah, that's the cure-all for all.
37:32Even racial profiling?
37:33We share your rage.
37:35He will not last long here.
37:38Spoken like a true hater.
37:39I love this energy, my dude.
37:40Oh, there's the sommelier now.
37:42Oh, Rob.
37:44This is lunacy of outrageous proportions.
37:47We won't stand for it.
37:49Should I get some glasses?
37:50Yes, I got you.
37:51Please, make your stuff up.
37:53Yeah, shove over.
37:55I think we should all sleep here tonight.
37:57Safety in numbers.
37:59Hunker down.
37:59Someone should always be on watch, right?
38:01Like in the Marines?
38:02Yes, I will be out front the entire time.
38:05Okay, good.
38:05I've had a lot of coffee, so I'm going to stay up all night.
38:09Sleep out there like a dog.
38:10Todd, we got to stick together right now and form an alliance.
38:15Right?
38:16I'm a lone wolf.
38:16I'm a united front.
38:17I've got some big-ass flashlights.
38:19I'm going to bring over about a ten of them.
38:20Do you have stuff that you brought home from the Marines?
38:22I've got a lot of stuff in the garage.
38:24I just have to remember the password for that case.
38:27Oh, wow.
38:42Are those fireflies?
38:46Yeah.
38:48I always wanted to see fireflies growing up, but you can't see them in the city.
38:52It's like spotting a fairy in the wild.
38:58It's not fair.
39:01I was just starting to feel at home here.
39:05There's space and a community.
39:12I damn sure don't want to drag no stroll up for flights of stairs.
39:24I think we should stay.
39:27I want Miles to have fireflies.
39:30And our family's not going to be run out by some racist, brownie-hating prick.
39:39We're doing this.
39:41Hell yeah, we're doing this.
39:54Coming in?
39:56In a minute.
39:59I want to smell this sweet suburban hair.
40:09Let's go.
40:33Oh, shit.
41:11Oh, shit.
41:34Oh, shit.
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