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20:51Because you need a drink.
20:52I don't need a drink.
20:53You need a drink.
20:55I don't need a drink.
20:56I call bullshit on that.
20:58I need sleep.
20:59That's what I need.
21:00Hey, cheers to the best tour yet.
21:04You leave me hanging here?
21:05I do not claim glasses with fucking Diet Pepsi.
21:08Best book tour.
21:10What is that?
21:11Is that like best stomach cancer?
21:13You endure it.
21:14You do not toast it.
21:15Oh, how I hate all those paying customers showering me with love and respect.
21:19And why do I have to make so much money?
21:20Where?
21:22How do you bear it?
21:32Bunch of dummies.
21:34Wow.
21:35It's a ship that sails on sand?
21:38Purple sand?
21:39That is, uh, that's brilliant.
21:41The world needed that.
21:43And the world needed yet another female character who spends all her time mooning over some fucking proud and haughty
21:49pirate.
21:49He's a Corsair.
21:50A lot of pirate.
21:51Mmm.
21:53Nandovian Spice Fruit.
21:56Jesus, that, it's like a bad episode of Star Trek.
22:00All right, so how about you throw everybody a change-up?
22:01Hmm?
22:02Green sand?
22:03Is that a purple?
22:05Purple?
22:05Maybe it's time for your serious book.
22:09Why not?
22:09You've been plugging away on it for five years.
22:12Four and a half, barely.
22:14Pardon me.
22:14So put it out already.
22:15I can't just...
22:18It needs polishing.
22:21Obviously.
22:21I mean, it does, right?
22:22Okay, take the next few months and polish.
22:25I'll work it out.
22:26I'll buy you some more time before your next Ycaro.
22:30Do you really think Bitter Chrysalis is that good?
22:34I think people will love it.
22:42Have you ever read, um, Finnegan's Wake?
22:44No.
22:46I tried, too, in grad school.
22:51It's probably great.
22:53I don't know.
22:55All I know is it made me miserable trying to get through it.
23:01I figure you make even one person happy.
23:06Maybe that's not art.
23:09It's something.
23:16To Ravon.
23:19Proud, haughty Ravon.
23:28Did you bring your cigarettes?
23:31Since when do you smoke?
23:33Since now?
23:56Are you trying to start a forest fire?
23:57Stop wasting my butane.
24:01Stop telling me how to smoke.
24:02I used to smoke in middle school.
24:04You know, you're supposed to light the other person's cigarette first, by the way.
24:06That's etiquette.
24:07Yeah?
24:07On a plane, do you put your own oxygen mask on first?
24:13Ooh.
24:14You're going to hear it.
24:15Houston Mom, 78, says about Blood Song.
24:18Best Waikaro ever.
24:19All caps.
24:20And, uh...
24:2316, 17.
24:24No.
24:25Exclamation points.
24:26Wow.
24:26Is that a new record?
24:27It's got to be.
24:28Spoiler alert.
24:29Ravon is back.
24:30And yummier that ever.
24:31Yummier than ever.
24:32Think she means?
24:33Mm-mm.
24:34You better believe he's got my permission to come aboard.
24:37I'd walk his plank anytime.
24:39I'm sensing a nautical motif.
24:41A little bit.
24:41Think Houston Mom's off for meds again?
24:43I think Houston Mom would spread her legs for a grilled cheese sandwich.
24:48Huh.
24:51Look at that.
24:53What?
24:55What do you think they're doing?
24:57What's what doing?
24:58The planes.
25:00Look.
25:03I don't know.
25:04What, is that weird?
25:05Yeah, it's weird.
25:06Isn't it?
25:07All of them kind of parallel like that?
25:10Huh.
25:22Anybody else weigh in?
25:24That's all the usual suspects.
25:26Plus, a few new ones.
25:28Everybody loves it.
25:40You want to answer a few questions for them?
25:43What, now?
25:44No, no, no, no.
25:45Do one quick one.
25:45Let them know you're paying attention.
25:48Carol, my husband says Robon can be my hall pass, which I don't think is fair since Robon's
25:53not a real live person, although I wish he was.
25:55In real life, was there an actual man you were thinking of when you came up with Robon?
26:01That's hilarious.
26:05You want to tell the truth?
26:09Or do you have to lose?
26:13Put down George Clooney.
26:15What?
26:16What's wrong with him?
26:17Nothing.
26:18Just, I mean, how about a hot Brazilian soccer player, someone with dreadlocks?
26:22Hip it up.
26:25Just put George Clooney.
26:28It's safer.
26:34Oh, shit.
26:50Oh.
26:56Buddy, you...
26:57You okay, buddy?
27:05Oh, jeezus.
27:17Helen, should we call someone?
27:22Helen!
27:23Helen, stop looking at the goddamn...
27:25Oh!
27:26Oh!
27:28Oh!
27:28Oh!
27:29Oh!
27:30Oh!
27:30Oh!
27:31Oh!
27:37Helen?
27:42Oh, my God.
27:43Helen?
27:44Helen?
27:46Helen?
27:51Help!
27:52Help!
27:52Somebody help us!
27:54Help!
27:55Just hang in there.
27:57Hang in there.
27:59Just hang in there.
28:07Don't be here.
28:08Don't be here.
28:16Don't be here.
28:17Don't be here.
28:18Come on.
28:18Bye.
28:19Bye.
28:19Bye.
28:21Bye.
28:22Bye.
28:27Bye.
28:33I don't know.
29:04I don't know.
29:33I don't know.
29:57There he goes.
30:20Come on, come on, come on.
30:23Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
30:25Come on, come on, come on.
30:28Come on, come on, come on.
30:34Fuck you.
30:35Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
30:37Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
30:42Fuck you!
30:52You better get out. Come on, get out!
30:54Get out!
30:59Get out!
31:00Fuck!
31:04Fuck it! Go!
31:13Let's go!
31:21Bruce!
31:47No!
31:50No!
31:55No!
31:59No!
32:01No!
32:06No!
32:32Oh, thank God.
32:35Oh, thank God.
32:41Oh, thank God.
33:08Oh, thank God.
33:42Oh, thank God.
34:00Wake up.
34:02Dr. Nguyen, I made you wake up.
34:09Please wake up.
34:10Dr. Nguyen, wake up.
34:15Please wake up.
34:17Dr. Nguyen, wake up.
34:25I'm out of here.
34:28Bye.
34:29I'm, I'm, I'm.
34:37Do you know what?
34:48Dr.
34:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
35:19Okay, there we go.
35:25Helen?
35:26Helen?
35:28Helen?
35:31Helen?
35:37Hi.
35:39Baby.
35:47Hi.
35:49Helen?
35:56No, no, no, no, no.
35:57I'm sorry.
35:57I'm sorry.
36:23God damn it!
36:26Okay.
36:37Please, please.
36:38No, no, no.
36:40God, no.
36:41Come on.
36:42Please.
36:43Please.
36:44Please.
37:08Please.
37:09Please.
37:19Please.
37:27Please.
37:34Please.
37:35Please.
37:37Please.
37:38Please.
37:41Please.
37:46Please.
37:53Please.
37:56Please.
37:56To be continued.
37:57To be continued.
38:02To be continued.
38:16Hey.
38:20Hey.
38:30What?
38:31What is happening?
38:49Hey.
38:49Hey, hey.
38:50Go sir, touch her.
38:51You put her down.
38:52Put her down.
38:53Get out.
38:54Go away.
38:59What the hell is wrong with you people?
39:02We just want to help Carol.
39:32No!
40:13What?
40:15What?
40:40What?
40:42What?
40:45What?
40:45What?
40:49What?
40:57What?
41:00What?
41:02What?
41:05What?
41:06What?
41:24What?
41:26What?
41:26What?
41:34What?
41:38What?
41:39What?
41:41What?
41:47What?
41:47What?
42:03What?
42:05What?
42:07What?
42:07What?
42:29Oh, Christ, no.
42:48Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, please.
43:06There's a spare key.
43:10We can show you.
43:11No, no, stop, don't, don't, don't, don't come any closer.
43:14We don't mean to scare you, Carol.
43:17You're in no danger.
43:18We really do want to help.
43:20Remember, April 2016, the last time you got locked out?
43:25You put a spare key under the flower pot.
43:28The one on the right, back there.
43:38There you go.
43:46Leave me alone.
43:48Please.
43:49Sure, Carol.
43:51Just give us a couple of minutes to clear out.
44:17Here you go.
44:20There you go.
44:30We're very sorry for your loss.
45:19We're very sorry for your loss.
45:48We're very sorry for your loss.
45:52We're very sorry for your loss.
46:48We're very sorry for your loss.
47:04We're very sorry for your loss.
47:43We're very sorry for your loss.
48:21We're very sorry for your loss.
48:21We're very sorry for your loss.
48:59Okay.
49:31It may be distressing for you to see.
49:33But we will put things right.
49:35To that end if we may be of assistance with Helen's remains.
49:39Nope.
49:39Okay.
49:41If we can help you in any way, please let us know.
49:44We can deliver food, we can deliver food, medicine, whatever you need.
49:48Just dial zero day or night.
49:50You will want to call from a landline as all the cellular networks are down.
49:54But we are here for you.
50:00We feel like we're doing all the talking here.
50:04Are there any questions you might have for us, Carol?
50:07Anything at all?
50:13Yeah.
50:15Yeah.
50:15Yeah.
50:15Yeah, sure.
50:17I guess to start with, what the fuck is happening?
50:23Well, basically...
50:25It's an alien invasion, right?
50:26I mean, obviously it's an alien invasion.
50:29Actually, no.
50:29It is not.
50:30The fuck it isn't?
50:31You know my name.
50:33You know Helen's name.
50:35You...
50:36You are talking to me from my TV.
50:39And what the fuck is with everybody's shit like this and those two weird...
50:45The weird...
50:46The weird neighbor kids.
50:47And next door they know we're some goddamn...
50:50How...
50:51How would they know that, huh?
50:53Are you reading my mind?
50:55No.
50:55Absolutely not.
50:57We couldn't do that if we wanted to.
50:59Who is we?
50:59Why is everybody suddenly we?
51:01You know, we could continue this after you've had a good night's sleep.
51:04Who is we?
51:06We is us.
51:08Just us.
51:09Who the fuck is us?
51:10Us.
51:11There are no aliens.
51:13None on this planet.
51:14We are, however, beneficiaries of extraterrestrial technology.
51:20Fourteen months ago, astronomers discovered a radio signal from 600 light years away.
51:25There's no telling how long it's been repeating, maybe throughout all of human existence.
51:30This signal, it's made up of four tones, representing guanine, uracil, adenine, and cytosine.
51:39It's a recipe, it turns out, for a nucleotide sequence, RNA.
51:45Scientists have created this sequence in a lab.
51:48It is not a living thing, per se.
51:51It is more akin to a virus.
51:53Though it's not that exactly, either.
51:56It's kind of a psychic glue, capable of binding us all together.
52:02Okay.
52:04So if you're not aliens, who am I talking to right now?
52:10Who are you?
52:11This particular individual, this is Davis Taffler, Undersecretary of Agriculture for Farm Production
52:18and Conservation.
52:19But you are currently talking to every person on Earth, including Davis Taffler.
52:26We're all one.
52:27How does that work?
52:29We don't know exactly.
52:31It just does.
52:34Can I talk to the President?
52:35That individual passed away this evening, unfortunately, along with quite a few senior members of the United States government.
52:43Davis Taffler happened to be nearby and intact, and he was wearing a suit.
52:49So...
52:50So...
52:50So you're in charge now?
52:52The Undersecretary of...
52:54No.
52:54Nobody's in charge, or everybody's in charge.
52:58Really, there's no such thing anymore.
52:59But...
53:00There has got to be others like me.
53:02Your situation is a rare one.
53:05There appear to be 11 other individuals like yourself.
53:08In Albuquerque?
53:10No.
53:11In the world.
53:12We have reached out to them.
53:14Like you, they are disoriented, understandably.
53:19Rest assured, Carol.
53:21We will figure out what makes you different.
53:24Figure it out? Why?
53:26So we can fix it.
53:28So you can join us.
53:33Oh, God.
53:37Carol?
53:38You still there?
53:42You...
53:43You said my life was my own.
53:46It is.
53:47One hundred percent.
53:50So what happens when I say no?
53:54Carol, once you understand how wonderful this is...
54:01Carol?
54:19Hi!
54:20You've reached 505-796-6933, we're on the French Riviera drinking champagne.
54:26We are not here in our sweatpants screening your call.
54:29Make it a good one.
54:32Carol? Hello?
54:34It's us.
54:36Hello?
54:38We're sorry we upset you, Carol.
54:40We only want to make you happy.
54:42SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
54:58SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
55:18SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
55:19SHUT UP!
55:30SHUT UP!
55:52For more information visit www.fema.org
56:27For more information, visit www.fema.org
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