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Taskmaster - S17E10 - The Final: Ambience and Information [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
Transcript
00:02Oh
00:34Oh
00:39I'm Greg Davis. Welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final
00:48What a journey we've been on we've seen the full
00:52Smorgasbord of skills and intuition and a woman from the north looking baffled
00:57As we thunder into this final set of challenges the ultimate prize of my gilded nut could go to any
01:05of them
01:05Apart from two of them who definitely can't win because they've been rubbish
01:11So here they are please roar one last time for the phenomenal Joanne McNally
01:28And for us to start this series a man who I always associate the good night out because he looks
01:32like a giant revolving kebab
01:34That's a kid in bottom-set art has drawn a face on
01:38There it's little Alex Horne
01:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:43Yeah, ma'am
01:45Awesome
01:46I hope you're going to wear my special outfit for the final
01:48So
01:50Pretty cool
01:51Genuinely all I want to do is wear these for the whole show
01:54LAUGHTER
01:55Well, I shan't be allowing the glasses to be worn for the final
01:58I must wear them. No, I should wear them
01:59No, I haven't trimmed them
02:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:08I mean, to be fair, it's one of your better chance actually
02:12Here we go then
02:13What is the final prize task of the series please, Alex?
02:16Well, Greggington Bear
02:17We're ending on something that could really make a difference to the world
02:20Because you've asked them to bring in
02:22The thing that gives the most hope for the future of the human race
02:25Oh!
02:27Biggie
02:27Five points
02:28Seems like a fair deal
02:29For the thing that gives the most hope for the future of the human race
02:31And at the end of the episode
02:32Well, we'll all have hope
02:34And perhaps that's all you can ask for in this life
02:36I love you guys
02:38LAUGHTER
02:40Right then
02:41Sophie
02:43Welcome to the final
02:44What have you brought in?
02:45Right, so
02:47AI
02:48One day
02:49Right, you'll be able to
02:51Assess a body part
02:53Using your phones and stuff, right?
02:55Right
02:55We'll be able to have a full medical dead quick
02:57With AI
02:59Right
02:59And I thought that would be great
03:01Yeah
03:01And I thought especially for you
03:03Because of your life choices and everything that you get up to
03:06LAUGHTER
03:06I'm carrying a couple of pounds
03:08Yes
03:09And you look knackered
03:11LAUGHTER
03:12Sophie, can I show Greg what you've actually brought in?
03:14Oh, yes, this is to remind you that there is hope on the way
03:16Yes, thank you
03:18A little robot
03:19LAUGHTER
03:21I think you're right
03:22The AI could save us
03:24And therefore
03:25This is not
03:26As per
03:27Total shit
03:28Great
03:29I'll take it
03:30Well done
03:31Nick
03:32So what I have brought
03:34Is
03:36The concept
03:37Of
03:38Fate
03:40LAUGHTER
03:41Because I think that nothing
03:44Should give more hope to the human race
03:46That no matter how much you might sort of screw up in life or on this show
03:50Um
03:51The fact that it might be written in the stars somehow
03:54I think offers a degree of comfort
03:56Do you know what I mean by that?
03:58Yes
03:58Yes, largely to people who don't take responsibility for their own actions
04:01Yes
04:01Well to that end
04:03I have
04:04Made a prediction
04:06Oh
04:06Of my final score on this show
04:09That's quite exciting
04:11So I have genuinely
04:12Inside there
04:13Yeah
04:14OK
04:14I have written
04:15My final score of the whole series
04:17Right
04:18I'll sign it
04:19On here
04:20Across the flat
04:22To prove that
04:22You're watching Taskmaster on Final Four
04:24Thank you
04:25Great
04:26If you sign it over the seal as well
04:28There's a sharpie
04:29And you know that no one can get at it
04:31Great
04:31OK
04:31And then if you just want to pop that under there
04:33I'll pop it under there
04:34I will
04:35And the proof will be at the end
04:36But um
04:36But yeah
04:37Fate
04:38I feel like I'm totally under his power
04:42Good
04:42John
04:44The world's in a pretty scary place
04:45I think we'd all agree that
04:47Perhaps those in power don't represent us
04:49Yeah man
04:51Yeah
04:51I can see only one solution
04:54And that is
04:55Kathy Burke
04:58I had the pleasure of meeting Kathy for the first time recently
05:01She is kind
05:03Funny
05:05Insightful
05:05Wise
05:06And I just think
05:08If we were somehow able
05:09To put Kathy Burke in charge of everything
05:12And or clone her
05:13With permission
05:14Then it would mean an end to war
05:16Inequality
05:17Poverty
05:18I just think she's got a lot of answers
05:21I mean that is a lot of responsibility
05:23To put on the shoulders of the woman from Kevin and Perry go large
05:27LAUGHTER
05:29She chose get your free con on Desert Island Discs
05:31And that was my first answer at my wedding
05:32OK
05:34LAUGHTER
05:36That's reason alone to give her a low mark
05:39Erm
05:40Big fan
05:41Joanne
05:42Yeah
05:42Hello
05:42I really thought about this
05:44And the future of the human race
05:45As much as I love men
05:47They are a big problem
05:49LAUGHTER
05:49All the big
05:50All the big hitters
05:51All the big dictators
05:52All men
05:53Yeah
05:54I've referred constantly to myself as a basic bitch
05:56It's time to give the power to women like me
05:58I present you with the basic bitch starter pack
06:01Yep
06:02We've got
06:03LAUGHTER
06:05Some cucumber eye sheets
06:07We've got a couple of cheapo scented candles from Primark
06:10LAUGHTER
06:12Slippers
06:12A onesie
06:13Cos basic bitches like to be cosy
06:15We like to relax
06:16Give more power to the basic bitches
06:18Things will be a lot more chilled
06:20APPLAUSE
06:22I've always said that
06:23I quite like it
06:24You sort of
06:25Makes sense
06:26Steve
06:27What have you brought us?
06:29I've brought something tonight that I don't think anyone's ever brought into Taskmaster before
06:34OK
06:34And it's this
06:35Here it is
06:36Oh
06:37Nothing
06:38Oh God
06:39You're going to make me have an existential crisis aren't you
06:41This is a statement
06:42Nothing
06:43If you think about all the dreadful things we've been through recently
06:46Sorry
06:47Artificial intelligence
06:48Brexit
06:49Cancel culture
06:50Deathly pandemics
06:52Yeah
06:52Greenhouse gases
06:53Hottest temperatures ever
06:55Ice caps melting
06:56John Robbins
06:57Probably winning Taskmaster
06:59LAUGHTER
07:00These are the disasters of this day
07:02LAUGHTER
07:03And I think you know it Greg
07:05I do know
07:06And yet
07:09And yet
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11He's doing the Tony Blair fun pointer
07:13LAUGHTER
07:15If there is a child watching this tonight
07:17Who looks up from their TikTok or their memes
07:19Just because of what I've just said
07:22And thinks
07:22Why is the nice old vicar man saying the world's going to end?
07:26I've got to do something about that
07:28And they tell a friend and their friend tells a friend
07:30Suddenly you've got the start of a movement
07:32Just because I chose to bring in nothing to Taskmaster
07:35And if you can support me on this Greg
07:38Then I think this could be the beginning of a real change
07:41Society needs truth tellers
07:44Emmeline Pankhurst
07:46Rosa Parks
07:47Malala
07:48Greg Davis
07:52APPLAUSE
07:57I just want to take a moment if I may
07:59Because it's the first time I'll be included in a sentence
08:01In the same company as Malala
08:04LAUGHTER
08:06Right then Greg
08:07Good luck
08:08Well John
08:09There's no slight on Cathy Bourke
08:11I just haven't met her so I can't judge
08:13Cathy if you're watching
08:14Sorry about this
08:15One point
08:16LAUGHTER
08:18It's difficult because Nick's magic trick
08:20Hmm
08:21Like at the moment
08:22It's rubbish
08:23But it might turn out to be amazing
08:25I'm giving him two points
08:26Full stop
08:27End of
08:28But if he correctly predicts the score at the end
08:30I'll give him a cash prize from my own
08:31A cash prize
08:32There we go
08:34£300
08:35Woo
08:37Do I have to donate it to charity?
08:39Nope
08:39LAUGHTER
08:40Three points for the robot
08:42Three to Sophie
08:42Because AI might well save us
08:44It might also destroy us
08:45Big problem
08:46LAUGHTER
08:46I'm going to give the concept of nothing
08:48Even though it was one of the greatest performances
08:51I've ever seen
08:52Just because of
08:53A basic bitch running the gaff is a bit more tangible
08:55I'll give her five points there
08:57Four points for team five to Sophie
08:58There we go
08:59That is so genuinely hard to score
09:02Impossible
09:04Impossible
09:04Let's have a proper task
09:05OK
09:06Well first up for the final
09:08We have pegs Greg
09:09Pegs
09:09Loads of pegs Greg
09:11And tasks Greg
09:12Don't ask Greg
09:12But there's so many tasks Greg
09:14Tasks and peg Greg
09:14Let's go
09:29Oh God
09:31You alright?
09:32You alright?
09:32You alright?
09:33Yeah I'm alright
09:34John
09:34Hello Alex
09:36Please open a task
09:38Oh where is that?
09:41It's not that is it?
09:43It's not that is it?
09:43No
09:43But there are tasks
09:45Is this a random choice of task?
09:47Whichever I want?
09:48Yes
09:49This guy
09:51You sure?
09:52Yeah
09:52No
09:54Oh God
09:56Find and complete the real task
09:58Each task
10:00Each task
10:01Each task
10:01Has a 1% chance of being the real task
10:05Fastest wins
10:06Your time started when you opened your first task
10:10Lovely
10:12Lovely
10:40Thank you
10:42Yeah
10:43Yeah
10:43But then I did think I was smart by pegging them all back in a lump rather than individually
10:47And getting in to do it
10:48Yeah
10:48Yeah of course
10:49Yeah I had to help because it had taken so long
10:53Sophie not for the first time you sounded like an Alan Bennett monologue
10:57It's a lesson for life
10:59Yeah I've been baffled for a lot
11:01It's been horrific actually
11:03You weren't that baffled in this one Sophie
11:05You stepped back and saw the enormous arrow pointing at the shape
11:09Was the task in the shape for an arrow?
11:17I don't think you should be allowed to run the world
11:21You spotted it after 2 minutes you pinned them all back up after 3 minutes 41 you completed the task
11:26And what was Joanne's time?
11:2820 minutes and 20 seconds
11:29LAUGHTER
11:30Guess what?
11:31Yeah, sorry
11:32Here are some adverts
11:34APPLAUSE
11:43Ho!
11:45Welcome back to part 2 of our final where there are a lot of tasks hung up on a washing
11:50line to dry
11:51That's right these guys had to find the real task and then do that task
11:55OK we've seen Sophie and Joanne so it's only fair we now see Steve, Nick and John
12:02Each task has a 1% chance but the H of chance is underlined
12:06Some of the letters are underlined Alex it spells out H-E-D-S
12:11What does that mean?
12:14A-B-C-D-E
12:15A-B-C-D-E
12:16In case that's the thing
12:19If I didn't complete the rib no it's not that is it?
12:23Is that an arrow?
12:26H-E-D-S
12:30Shed
12:32Like this I'm going to shed
12:33LAUGHTER
12:38OK hang on an anagram of H
12:40Is that the only ones underlined?
12:42H-E-D-S
12:45An S
12:46Stead
12:47Is that an arrow Alex?
12:50It's an arrow!
12:52Shed
12:53Shed
12:53Go to the shed
12:58This is a real task peg all the tasks to the washing line
13:01Get it!
13:03Ha ha!
13:04Ah you suckers
13:05I didn't take any off did I?
13:08I took two off
13:14I've stopped the clock John
13:15Have I finished?
13:19I've stopped the clock
13:20There you go
13:21Is that good?
13:23Yeah
13:27That was the second feminist movement back by years I would say
13:30LAUGHTER
13:32They were quick
13:33Deadly
13:34Observant
13:35To the point
13:36They all had a catchphrase
13:38Steve
13:38Fuck this I'm going to the shed for example
13:41John's
13:42Possibly my favourite
13:43It's our all!
13:47And ah you suckers
13:50I think out of the three it's unsurprising the slowest was Nick
13:53One minute fifty for you Nick
13:55OK
13:55The others
13:56John one minute sixteen
13:58Steve 49.8 seconds
14:02All three were very pleasing yourselves
14:04Oh don't don't don't don't
14:08Sophie
14:09Yeah?
14:09You're safe
14:10Great
14:10Oh hello
14:12The rest of you watch this
14:14Remember you did have to peg all the tasks to the washing line
14:18See you later do you want me to pick that up?
14:20Yes please
14:25Thank you
14:26OK
14:27Oh lovely
14:28Goodbye Nick
14:29See you later
14:32BUZZ
14:33BUZZ
14:35BUZZ
14:37BUZZ
14:37BUZZ
14:38BUZZ
14:38BUZZ
14:39BUZZ
14:40Joanne and Nick you did not complete the task
14:44I don't think that's going to make a difference to my scores
14:46No
14:48Which means Nick and Joanne both don't get any points
14:50Three points to Sophie
14:51Four to John
14:52And five to Steve Pemberton
14:54APPLAUSE
14:56Scoreboard please
14:57Yes and in the lead with nine it's Steve Pemberton
15:00APPLAUSE
15:02What's next for this big fancy final?
15:05OK well this task is all anyone ever wants really
15:07A hug with an old friend
15:12BUZZ
15:34BUZZ
15:34Good day
15:34It was really good I was just riding a horse bear back there
15:40It's not QWERTY it's not a keyboard layout
15:42And it's not in alphabetical order
15:45But there were also repeats of some letters because there's two G I should read the task
15:48hug your special friend hmm hug your special friend is that I have to give
15:55you a hug we are colleagues all right okay every time you touch a letter you
16:00will turn it over and one minute will be added to your time fastest wins your
16:04time starts now it is on the vague side Alex
16:14quite a creepy thing to say oh is it sure I stop doing that I thought he's been
16:23spending a bit too much time on his own okay now it's one for the bird watchers
16:28out there hi dad hi mom look it's a pair of J's Joanne and John well I guess I'm
16:35gonna start turning over letters sure all right I'm gonna go J cuz that's my um
16:43well all right okay let's go Zed biscuit you hungry nope really okay oh it's not a
16:52book no I'd spell it your name is Alex that is my name really found your name
16:59you think yes string there's probably no strategy to this I'd say it's just
17:05just a kind of like a free-for-all I got that vibe okay we've got a compass at
17:12least
17:18oh no it's one of these in some direction from here I would say so I reckon if I
17:26go in a circle at the end of this string I'm gonna find a special friend ow I'm in
17:34quite a lot of pain Alex would you like a biscuit we'll mind some gloves or just at
17:39least an eye on health and safety hello hello
17:58I think I've done the wrong thing
18:11250 degrees west that's 250 degrees west is it yeah unless your compass is wrong which way is north
18:19John this compass is wrong have you used a compass yeah that's north yeah
18:37I've stopped the clock I remember him he's your special friend oh hello I've done it Alex I've
18:45stopped the clock John that was incredibly frustrating yeah not bad thanks Joanne no
18:53worries thank you Joanne have you ever seen a walkie-talkie before because you looked at
19:02it with such childlike wonderment was there something earlier in the series that I
19:06thought was a walkie-talkie was a barbecue lighter a barbecue lighter I'm not in the army okay I should
19:13have told you she's not in the army why didn't you tell me you're not in the army
19:16I'm sorry John takes this very seriously this show he is a taskmaster nerd and I enjoyed it you get
19:23angry
19:25it was 38 degrees when we filmed that and Alex kept asking me if I wanted a biscuit when I
19:31found biscuits under the letters I couldn't believe you didn't want a biscuit I didn't want a biscuit
19:35John's got no time for whimsy he wants to complete the task quickly and get the delicious points yes
19:43who's next next up all the way from Fleetwood Mac it's Steven Nix attempts
19:51he's my special friend is it one of the horses I don't know what you do in your own time
19:58right
19:58well I would love to spell out the phrase hug your special friend but scanning the letters I'm not
20:02seeing the letter Y I'm gonna just start with an H is this a time thing fastest wins fastest wins
20:12okay and one minute per letter turned over huh one minute per letter turned over yes
20:21chocolate biscuit so it's someone who likes chocolate biscuits okay or is it for me he's
20:26chocolate biscuit for me oh oh hello is that my special friend fastest wins me yeah I was aware
20:50yeah oh 250 degrees west I'm guessing I'm gonna have to eventually turn all of these over so why am
20:57I
20:57messing around oh some wool all right what's the task again every time you turn it over you must turn
21:02it
21:02over and one minute will be added to your time yeah you spent 48 minutes okay oh
21:09and fastest wins
21:13right
21:17mannequin mannequin the mannequin is my special friend
21:21the north is that way yeah north that way which way do you reckon west is this way that's west
21:27I don't want to
21:28expend unnecessary energy hmm
21:33hello over maybe is this a clue is this an arrow the mannequin that's pointing up this way oh
21:41there's something colorful oh
21:43aha
21:49oh
21:50one of my characters from me good gentleman
21:53oh
21:54oh you're terrifying
22:00ooh that wasn't too bad
22:01no
22:02yeah
22:03I think I did middling on that
22:05hmm
22:05well you turned over 45 letters
22:08LAUGHTER
22:13This is the difference between John and Nick,
22:17is that when you see a whimsical biscuit's been left undone,
22:20you think, I'm prioritising this biscuit.
22:23I think it was the biscuit that made me forget
22:25that you weren't meant to turn over many letters,
22:27cos as soon as I had that biscuit,
22:28I just started turning over as many as I could find.
22:30Yeah. The other difference is that Nick obviously did very badly,
22:34very pleased with himself.
22:36I think that went quite well.
22:37Steve, how do you feel?
22:40Annoyed I didn't need the biscuit.
22:42LAUGHTER
22:42I was looking forward to finding a lovely word thing
22:47in the labyrinth of words,
22:48totally forgot the fact that each one was a minute.
22:51Yeah, and then the greeting was, I mean, borderline orgasmic.
22:56LAUGHTER
22:57Had you forgotten there was someone inside your mannequin?
22:59I'd totally forgotten, cos it was weeks and weeks earlier.
23:02So I screamed, didn't I?
23:04It was hilarious.
23:05LAUGHTER
23:07Good.
23:08Now, I'm not one to make judgements,
23:10and I'm always fast to apologise when I do,
23:12but I predict Sophie's going to be shit at this.
23:15OK.
23:16Time for another ad break.
23:17See you in a bit.
23:19APPLAUSE
23:29Oh!
23:31You join us for third quarter of our final and the completion of a task,
23:35all about tracking down old friends.
23:37Yes, old friends that they made for themselves.
23:40Quite sad, really.
23:41They've all managed to find and hug them so far,
23:43but there is still one person left to go.
23:47Will and Sophie be reunited with our old friend?
23:50Let's find out right now.
23:51Right, OK.
23:52Every time you touch a letter, you must turn it over,
23:56and one minute will be added to your time.
23:59But I don't want to touch a letter, then.
24:01Fastest wins.
24:02Is it a tree-hugging exercise, is it?
24:05That sort of thing.
24:08The problem is you've got crew hiding in bushes, haven't you?
24:11It's quite daunting.
24:13Hello?
24:15Hello?
24:18Hello?
24:19I might aim for that tree over there.
24:22Yeah, OK.
24:22And I don't want to faff about with these, do I?
24:25Yeah.
24:26Hello?
24:27Who's there?
24:29Oh!
24:31Oh, I see.
24:32I thought it was going to be an old school friend or something.
24:35This is your old friend, Wolfie.
24:37Wolfie!
24:38I've stopped the clock.
24:39Is that it?
24:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24:45I formally apologise.
24:48Incredible.
24:49I mean, 100% accidental?
24:52Well, I thought you would have a friend of mine from Manchester
24:55hid in a bush.
24:57I thought that several times.
24:58Yeah.
24:59Yeah.
24:59Yeah.
25:00This show isn't about reuniting people.
25:02Yeah.
25:03She has kept saying, well, a friend...
25:05Always Amy.
25:07Yeah.
25:08I don't know why I just thought Amy would be someone you'd approach.
25:11Have you not seen Amy for a while?
25:12No.
25:13Or this show ever.
25:14She managed to find it in 4 minutes 44 seconds.
25:17Ooh!
25:19No punishment.
25:20No extra minutes.
25:21You want to hear the points?
25:23Yeah.
25:24Well, Sophie found it quickest in 4 minutes 44.
25:26Ooh.
25:27Five sweet points.
25:29Exactly, yeah.
25:30Joanne, 11 minutes 20 with your punishments.
25:33Four sweet points.
25:34Four sweet points.
25:35John, you turned over 10, which means you had a total of 21 minutes 20.
25:38Ooh, the three sweet points.
25:41Yes.
25:42And then the guys who turned over 45 cards.
25:46Steve, your total time was 52 minutes 37.
25:49Nick, 56 minutes 25.
25:51Two points to Steve.
25:52One point to Nick Muhammad.
25:53There it is.
25:55Just under an hour.
25:57Wow, this is my worst round luck.
25:59Good.
25:59OK, what's next?
26:00Well, the bad news is it's the final task.
26:03Oh, dear.
26:04But the good news is, Greg, you've just become a TV commissioner.
26:08At last!
26:21Hello, Sophie.
26:22Hello.
26:23Hello, Nick.
26:24Hello.
26:25I keep forgetting that you're all here.
26:26Pardon?
26:27Sorry, nothing.
26:29OK, good luck.
26:30Present the best new short form shiny floor American game show.
26:35Alex will be the contestant.
26:37One of you must be his rival and somebody must win.
26:40The game show Greg most wants to see commissioned wins.
26:43Also, there is a bonus point for best new game show catchphrase.
26:47You have a maximum of 30 minutes.
26:49Your time starts now.
26:50What about if you had to go through the stool of your opposite contestant
26:54to guess what they had for dinner last night?
26:58OK.
27:00Can you play the keyboard?
27:02No, back and do.
27:07I don't even want to see something quite violent.
27:11Yeah.
27:14So, to so I wrote, do, do, do, do, oh no, do, do, do, do, do, do.
27:20What about if it's, er, shorter?
27:23Where?
27:23G-g-g-g-g-g-g.
27:27Oh yes!
27:29Take the stage to the stage.
27:30Feel the,
27:31rage,
27:33rage,
27:33the,
27:34the,
27:35rage.
27:36What about something like, er,
27:38ESP or some like,
27:39it's just people who like,
27:40you know, might sit in front of like,
27:42like one of those things that just dropped lots of people.
27:44Right, it's either that or coming on with your stool.
27:46I mean, I keep coming back to this, but I think Greg would love that.
27:54I just want to make sure.
36:50I know
36:52you have to learn too.
36:54It's so much time when you build a new one
36:56It's so much time I've got a summer
36:58Maybe it's so much time
37:02This year it's night
37:10and you've got to go through it
37:11It's so much time
37:11It's time to go through the theater
37:13You can just do it
37:16I'm sorry, and I'm fine, and I'm fine.
37:18I'm fine, and I'm fine.
37:21I can just tell you that.
37:22What is the story of the world?
37:24What is the story of the world?
37:30What is the story of the world?
37:35I'm fine, and I'm fine.
37:45That's how I got to get a lot of money to buy it.
37:52That's how I got to get a lot of money.
37:55I have a lot of money in the world.
38:15I'm a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:20than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:25than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more than a little bit more
38:27than a
38:45I don't know.
38:47I don't know.
38:48I don't know.
38:49I don't know.
38:50I don't know.
38:52I don't know.
38:53I don't know.
38:54I don't know.
38:55I don't know.
38:57I don't know.
38:59I don't know.
38:59I don't know.
39:04I don't know.
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