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Taskmaster - S17E10 - The Final: Ambience and Information [Full Movie] [Full Episodes]Full EP - Full
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00:02Oh
00:34Oh
00:39I'm Greg Davis. Welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final
00:48What a journey we've been on we've seen the full
00:52Smorgasbord of skills and intuition and a woman from the north looking baffled
00:57As we thunder into this final set of challenges the ultimate prize of my gilded nut could go to any
01:05of them
01:05Apart from two of them who definitely can't win because they've been rubbish
01:11So here they are please roar one last time for the phenomenal Joanne McNally
01:28And for us to start this series a man who I always associate the good night out because he looks
01:32like a giant revolving kebab
01:34That's a kid in bottom-set art has drawn a face on
01:46My special outfit for final so pretty cool genuinely all I want to do is wear these for the whole
01:53show
01:55Oh
01:55Well, I shan't be allowing the glasses to be worn for the final. I must wear them. No, I should
01:59wear them. Give me the final
02:00I haven't trimmed them
02:00I mean to be fair. It's one of your better chances
02:13What is the final prize task of the series please Alex well Greggington bear?
02:18We're ending on something that could really make a difference to the world because you've asked them to bring in
02:21the thing that gives the most hope for the future of the human race
02:27Five points seems like a fair deal for the thing that gives the most hope for the future of the
02:31human race and at the end of the episode
02:32Well, we'll all have hope and perhaps that's all you can ask for in this life. I love you guys
02:40Right then
02:41Sophie
02:43Welcome to the final. What have you brought in right? So
02:47AI one day right you'll be able to
02:51Assess a body part
02:53Using your phones and stuff right right we'll be able to have a full medical dead quick with AI right
02:59and I thought that would be great
03:01Yeah, and I thought especially for you because of your life choices and everything that you get
03:08Yes, and you look knackered
03:12Oh
03:12We've actually brought him. Oh, yes. This is to remind you that there is hope on the way. Yes. Thank
03:17you a little robot
03:23Could save us and therefore this is not as per total shit
03:31So what I have brought is
03:36The concept of fate
03:42Because I think that nothing
03:43Nothing should give more hope to the human race that no matter how much you might sort of screw up
03:48in life or on the show
03:51The fact that it might be written in the stars somehow I think offers a degree of comfort
03:56Do you know what I mean by that
03:58Yes, largely to people who don't take responsibility for their own actions
04:01Yes, well to that end I have
04:05Made a prediction
04:06Oh
04:06Of my final score on this show
04:09That's quite exciting
04:11So I have genuinely inside
04:12Inside there
04:13Yeah
04:13Okay, I have written my final score of the whole series
04:17Right
04:18I'll sign it on here
04:20Across the flat
04:22You're watching Taskmaster on Final Four
04:24Thank you
04:25Great, if you sign it over the seal as well
04:28There's a sharpie
04:29You know that no one can get at it
04:31Great, okay
04:31And then if you just want to pop that under there
04:33I'll pop it under there, I will
04:35And the proof will be at the end
04:36But um, but yeah, fate
04:38I feel like I'm totally under his power
04:42Good
04:42John
04:43Um, the world's in a pretty scary place
04:45I think we'd all agree that perhaps those in power don't represent us
04:49Yeah, man
04:50Yeah
04:51I can see only one solution
04:53And that is
04:55Kathy Burke
04:58I had the pleasure of meeting Kathy for the first time recently
05:01She is kind, funny, insightful, wise
05:06And I just think if we were somehow able to put Kathy Burke in charge of everything
05:12And or clone her with permission
05:14Then it would mean an end to war, inequality, poverty
05:17I just think she's got a lot of answers
05:21I mean, that is a lot of responsibility to put on the shoulders of the woman from Kevin and Perry
05:26Go Large
05:29She chose get your free con on Desert Island Discs and that was my first dance at my wedding
05:32Okay
05:36That's reason alone to give her a low mark
05:39Um, big fan
05:41Joanne
05:42Yeah, hello
05:42I really thought about this
05:44And the future of the human race
05:45As much as I love men, they are a big problem
05:49All the big, all the big hitters, all the big dictators
05:52All men
05:53Yeah
05:54I've referred constantly to myself as a basic bitch
05:56It's time to give the power to women like me
05:58I present you with the basic bitch starter pack
06:01Yep
06:02We've got
06:05Some cucumber eye sheets
06:07We've got a couple of cheapo scented candles from Primark
06:12Slippers, a onesie
06:13Cos basic bitches like to be cosy
06:15We like to relax
06:16Give more power to the basic bitches
06:18Things will be a lot more chilled
06:19Woo
06:20Woo
06:21Woo
06:22I've always said that
06:23And I quite like it
06:24You sort of
06:25Makes sense
06:26Steve, what have you brought us?
06:29I've brought something tonight that I don't think anyone's ever brought into Taskmaster before
06:34Okay
06:34And it's this
06:35Here it is
06:36Oh
06:37Nothing
06:38Oh, well, so you're going to make me have an existential crisis, aren't you?
06:41This is a statement
06:42Nothing
06:43If you think about all the dreadful things we've been through recently
06:46Sorry
06:47Artificial intelligence
06:48Brexit
06:49Cancel culture
06:50Deathly pandemics
06:52Yeah
06:52Greenhouse gases
06:53Hottest temperatures ever
06:55Ice caps melting
06:56John Robbins
06:57Probably winning Taskmaster
07:00These are the disasters of the day
07:03And I think you know it, Greg
07:05I do know
07:06And yet
07:09And yet
07:10And yet
07:11He's doing the Tony Blair thumb pointer
07:15If there is a child watching this tonight
07:17Who looks up from their TikTok or their memes
07:19Just because of what I've just said
07:22And thinks
07:22Why is the nice old vicar man saying the world's going to end?
07:26I've got to do something about that
07:28And they tell a friend and their friend tells a friend
07:30Suddenly you've got the start of a movement
07:32Just because I chose to bring in nothing to Taskmaster
07:35And if you can support me on this, Greg
07:38Then I think this could be the beginning of a real change
07:41Society needs truth tellers
07:43It's
07:44Emmeline Pankhurst
07:45Rosa Parks
07:47Malala
07:49Greg Davis
07:52APPLAUSE
07:57I just want to take a moment if I may
07:59Because it's the first time I'll be included in a sentence
08:01In the same company as Malala
08:04LAUGHTER
08:06Right then Greg
08:07Good luck
08:08Well John
08:09There's no slight on Cathy Bourke
08:11I just haven't met her so I can't judge
08:13Cathy if you're watching
08:14Sorry about this
08:15One point
08:16LAUGHTER
08:18Nick it's difficult because Nick's magic trick
08:20Hmm
08:21Like at the moment it's rubbish
08:23But it might turn out to be amazing
08:25I'm giving him two points
08:26Full stop
08:27End of
08:27But if he correctly predicts the score at the end
08:30I'll give him a cash prize from my own
08:31A cash prize
08:32There we go
08:34£300
08:35Woo
08:37Do I have to donate it to charity?
08:39Nope
08:39LAUGHTER
08:41Three points for the robot
08:42Three to Sophie
08:42Because AI might well save us
08:44It might also destroy us
08:45Big problem
08:46I'm going to give the concept of nothing
08:48Even though it was one of the greatest performances I've ever seen
08:52Just because of
08:53A basic bitch running the gaff is a bit more tangible
08:55I'll give her five points there
08:57Four points for team
08:58Five to three
08:59There we go
09:00That is so genuinely hard to score
09:02Impossible
09:03Impossible
09:04Let's have a proper task
09:05OK
09:06Well first up for the final we have pegs Greg
09:09Pegs
09:09Loads of pegs Greg
09:11And tasks Greg
09:12Don't ask Greg
09:12But there's so many tasks Greg
09:14Tasks and peg Greg
09:14Let's go
09:29Oh God
09:31You alright?
09:32You alright?
09:32You alright?
09:33Yeah I'm alright
09:34John?
09:35Hello Alex
09:36Please open a task
09:38Oh where is that?
09:41It's not that is it?
09:43No
09:43But there are tasks
09:45Is this a random choice of task?
09:47Whichever I want?
09:48Yes
09:49This guy
09:51You sure?
09:52Yeah
09:53No
09:54Oh God
09:56Find and complete the real task
09:58Each task
10:01Has a 1% chance of being the real task
10:05Fastest wins
10:07Your time started when you opened your first task
10:12Lovely
10:14Well this is one of those tasks that we do from time to time
10:17I think there is a basic intelligence test
10:20Because there are two ways of approaching this
10:22It's to take a moment
10:23And to work out if there's a way of finding out what the real task is
10:27Before you maniacally rip all of those tasks off the washing line
10:32Shall we crack on?
10:33Let's have a look
10:34OK
10:35Sophie and Joanne are up first to find the real task
10:38Here we go
10:39There's no point in me just pulling all these off
10:41Sure there's not
10:42Yeah
10:43But then I did think I was smart by pegging them all back in a lump
10:46Rather than individually
10:47And getting in to do it
10:48Yeah
10:48Yeah of course
10:49Yeah I had to help because it had taken so long
10:53Sophie not for the first time you sounded like an Alan Bennett monologue
10:57It's a lesson for life
10:59Yeah I've been baffled for a lot
11:01It's been horrific actually
11:03You weren't that baffled in this one Sophie
11:05You stepped back and saw the enormous arrow pointing at the shape
11:09Was the task in the shape for an arrow?
11:17I don't think you should be allowed to run the world
11:19I don't think you should be allowed to run the world
11:21You spotted it after two minutes you pinned them all back up
11:23After three minutes forty-one you completed the task
11:26And what was Joanne's time?
11:27Twenty minutes and twenty seconds
11:29LAUGHTER
11:30Guess what?
11:31Yeah, sorry
11:32Here are some adverts
11:34APPLAUSE
11:43Ho!
11:45Welcome back to part two of our final
11:48Where there are a lot of tasks hung up on a washing line to dry
11:51That's right
11:52These guys had to find the real task
11:54And then do that task
11:55OK we've seen Sophie and Joanne
11:56So it's only fair we now see Steve, Nick and John
12:01Each task has a one percent chance
12:04But the H of chance is underlined
12:06Some of the letters are underlined Alex
12:08It spells out H-E-D-S
12:10What does that mean?
12:14A-B-C-D-E
12:15In case that's the thing
12:19If I didn't complete the written arrow it's not that is it?
12:23Is that an arrow?
12:26H-E-D-S
12:30Shed
12:32Like this I'm going to shed
12:34LAUGHTER
12:38OK hang on an anagram of H
12:40Is that the only ones underlined?
12:46Is that an arrow Alex?
12:50It's an arrow?
12:52Shed
12:53Shed
12:53Shed
12:54Go to the shed
12:58This is a real task
12:59Peg all the tasks to the washing line
13:01Do it
13:03Ha ha
13:04Ah you suckers
13:05I didn't take any off did I?
13:08I took two off
13:14I've stopped the clock John
13:15Have I finished?
13:19I've stopped the clock
13:20There you go
13:20There you go
13:21Is that good?
13:23Yeah
13:27Well it's the second feminist movement back by years I would say
13:30LAUGHTER
13:31They were quick
13:33Deadly
13:34Observant
13:35To the point
13:36They all had a catchphrase
13:38Steve
13:38Fuck this I'm going to the shed
13:40For example
13:41John's
13:42Possibly my favourite
13:43It's our all
13:47Oh
13:47Ah you suckers
13:50I think out of the three it's unsurprising the slowest was Nick
13:53One minute fifty for you Nick
13:55OK
13:55The others
13:56John
13:57One minute sixteen
13:58Steve
13:5849.8 seconds
14:02All three were very pleasing themselves
14:04Oh don't don't don't don't
14:08Yeah
14:09You're safe
14:10Great
14:11Oh hello
14:12The rest of you watch this
14:14Remember you did have to peg all the tasks to the washing line
14:18See you later do you want me to pick that up?
14:20Yes please
14:25Thank you
14:26OK
14:27Oh lovely
14:28Goodbye Nick
14:29See you later
14:40Joanne and Nick you did not complete the task
14:44I don't think that's going to make a difference to my scores
14:46No
14:48Which means Nick and Joanne both don't get any points
14:50Three points to Sophie
14:51Four to John
14:52And five to Steve Pemberton
14:54Thank you
14:54Mmm
14:57Scoreboard please
14:57Yes
14:58In the lead with nine it's Steve Pemberton
15:02What's next for this big fancy final?
15:04OK well this task is all anyone ever wants really
15:07A hug
15:08With an old friend
15:21You like these big Lawrence of Arabia opening approach shots don't you?
15:27Yeah
15:27But the directors loving this
15:29I'm not in the right shoes for this set up really
15:33Did it be a good day?
15:35It was really good
15:35I was just riding a horse bear back there
15:40It's not QWERTY it's not a keyboard layout and it's not in alphabetical order
15:44But there are also repeats of some letters because there's two G I should read the task
15:48Hug your special friend
15:51Mmm
15:52Hug your special friend
15:53Is that I have to give you a hug?
15:56We are colleagues
15:56Oh right okay
15:57Every time you touch a letter you must turn it over and one minute will be added to your time
16:03Fastest wins
16:04Your time starts now
16:07It is on the vague side Alex
16:14Special friend's quite a creepy thing to say
16:16Oh is it?
16:17Shall I stop doing that?
16:19There's been a few times during this series where I thought
16:21I don't know
16:22Keith's been spending a bit too much time on his own
16:26Let's start
16:26Okay now it's one for the bird watchers out there
16:28Hi Dad
16:29Hi Mum
16:29Look look
16:30It's a pair of J's
16:32Joanne and John
16:34Well I guess I'm going to start turning over letters
16:37Sure
16:37Alright
16:39I'm going to go J because that's my um
16:43Well alright that
16:43Okay
16:44Let's go Z
16:47Biscuit
16:47You hungry?
16:49Nope
16:49Really?
16:50Hug your spell
16:51Oh do I have to spell out hug?
16:53No I have to spell out your name
16:54Is it Alex?
16:55That is my name
16:56Ah!
16:57What have you found?
16:58Your name
16:59You think?
17:00S string
17:03There's probably no strategy to this
17:05I'd say it's just a kind of like a free for all
17:07I got that vibe
17:09Okay
17:11We've got a compass at least
17:18Oh no
17:19Oh no
17:19It's one of these
17:21So I've got to follow this in some direction from here I would say
17:25So I reckon if I go in a circle at the end of this string I'm going to find a
17:30special friend
17:32Ow
17:34I'm in quite a lot of pain Alex
17:36Would you like a biscuit?
17:37Or might some gloves
17:38Or just at least an eye on health and safety
17:43Hello? Hello?
17:58I think I've done the wrong thing
18:06Ah!
18:11250 degrees west
18:13That's 250 degrees west
18:15Is it?
18:16Yeah
18:17Unless your compass is wrong?
18:19Which way is north, John?
18:23This compass is wrong
18:24Have you used a compass before?
18:27That's north
18:28Yeah
18:29Oh fuck
18:37I've stopped the clock
18:38I remember him
18:40He's your special friend
18:42Ah hello
18:43I've done it Alex
18:44I've stopped the clock John
18:46That is incredibly frustrating
18:48Yeah
18:49Not bad
18:51Thanks Joanne
18:52No worries, thank you
18:57Joanne
18:57Have you ever seen a walkie talkie before?
19:01Because you looked at it with such childlike wonderment
19:04Was there something earlier in the series that I thought was walkie talkie but was a barbecue lighter?
19:08A barbecue lighter
19:10I'm not in the army, okay?
19:12I should have told you
19:13She's not in the army
19:14Why didn't you tell me you're not in the army?
19:17I'm sorry
19:17John takes this very seriously, this show
19:20He is a taskmaster nerd
19:22And I enjoyed it, you get angry
19:25It was 38 degrees when we filmed that
19:28And Alex kept asking me if I wanted a biscuit when I found biscuits under the letters
19:33I couldn't believe you didn't want a biscuit
19:34I didn't want a biscuit Alex
19:35John's got no time for whimsy
19:37He wants to complete the task quickly and get the delicious points
19:57That's...
19:58Right, well I would love to spell out the phrase hug your special friend
20:01But scanning the letters I'm not seeing the letter Y
20:05I'm gonna just start with an H
20:09Is this a time thing?
20:11Fastest wins
20:11Fastest wins, okay
20:13Yeah
20:13And one minute per letter turned over
20:15Per...
20:15One minute is...
20:17Per...
20:17Per letter turned over
20:18Yes
20:21Chocolate biscuit
20:22So it's somebody who likes chocolate biscuits
20:24Okay
20:25Or is it for me?
20:26It's chocolate biscuit
20:27For me
20:28Oh
20:29Oh
20:31Hello?
20:32Is that my special friend?
20:37Fastest wins, isn't it?
20:38Yeah, right
20:39I was aware
20:40Yeah
20:40Uh-huh
20:41Mom
20:43Mom
20:44Mom
20:50Oh
20:52250 degrees west
20:53I'm guessing I'm gonna have to eventually turn all of these over
20:56So why am I messing around?
20:58Oh, some wool
20:59Alright
21:00What's the task again?
21:01Every time it turns a place you must turn it over
21:03And one minute will be added to your time
21:05Yeah, you've spent 48 minutes so far
21:09Oh
21:09Oh, and fastest wins
21:13Right
21:16Mannequin
21:17Mannequin
21:18The mannequin is my special friend
21:20Er...
21:21The north is that way
21:23Yeah, if north that way, which way do you reckon west is?
21:25This way
21:26That's west
21:27I don't want to expend unnecessary energy
21:30Hmm
21:33Hello, over
21:35Maybe
21:36Maybe
21:36Is this a clue?
21:37Is this an arrow?
21:38The mannequin that's pointing up this way
21:40Oh
21:41There's something colourful
21:43Oh
21:44Aha
21:49Ah
21:50Oh
21:50You look like one of my characters from Negro Gentleman
21:52Oh
21:52Fucking hell
21:55Oh
21:55Oh
21:55Oh
21:55Oh
21:56Oh
21:56Oh, you're terrifying
22:00Oh, that wasn't too bad
22:01No?
22:02Yeah
22:03I think I did middling on that
22:05Hmm
22:06Well, you turned over 45 letters
22:08Oh
22:09Oh
22:09Oh
22:13See, this is the difference between John and Nick
22:17Is that when you see a whimsical biscuit's been left undone
22:20You think I'm prioritising this biscuit
22:23I think it was the biscuit that made me forget that you weren't meant to turn over many letters
22:27Cos as soon as I had that biscuit, I just started turning over as many as I could find
22:30Yeah
22:31The other difference is that Nick obviously did very badly
22:33Very pleased with himself
22:35I think that went quite well
22:37Steve, how do you feel?
22:40Annoyed I didn't need the biscuit
22:43I was looking forward to finding a lovely word thing in the labyrinth of words
22:48Totally forgot the fact that each one was a minute
22:51Yeah, and then the greeting was, I mean, borderline orgasmic
22:56LAUGHTER
22:56Had you forgotten there was someone inside your mannequin?
22:59I'd totally forgotten because it was weeks and weeks earlier
23:02So I screamed, didn't I?
23:04It was hilarious
23:05Yeah
23:07Good
23:07Now, I'm not one to make judgements
23:10And I'm always fast to apologise when I do
23:12But I predict Sophie's going to be shit at this
23:15OK
23:16Time for another ad break
23:17See you in a bit
23:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:31You join us for third quarter of our final
23:34And the completion of a task
23:35All about tracking down old friends
23:37Yes, old friends that they made for themselves
23:40Quite sad, really
23:41They've all managed to find and hug them so far
23:43But there is still one person left to go
23:47Will and Sophie be reunited with her old friend?
23:50Let's find out right now
23:51Right, OK
23:52Every time you touch a letter
23:55You must turn it over
23:56And one minute will be added to your time
23:59But I don't want to touch a letter then
24:00Fastest wins
24:02Is it a tree-hugging exercise?
24:04Is it that sort of thing?
24:08The problem is you've got crew hiding in bushes, haven't you?
24:11It's quite daunting
24:13Hello?
24:16Hello?
24:18Hello?
24:19I might aim for that tree over there
24:21Yeah, OK
24:22And I don't want to faff about with these, do I?
24:25No
24:26Hello?
24:27Who's there?
24:29Oh!
24:31Oh, I've seen it all
24:32I thought it was going to be an old school friend or something
24:35It's your old friend, Wolfie
24:37Wolfie
24:40Wolfie
24:45I formally apologise
24:47Thank you
24:48Incredible
24:49I mean, 100% accidental?
24:52Well, I thought you would have a friend of mine from Manchester
24:55Hid in a bush
24:56That's...
24:57I thought Amy again
24:58You've thought about several times, yeah
24:59Yeah
25:00This show isn't about reuniting people with her
25:02Yeah
25:02I mean, she has kept saying, well, a friend...
25:05There's Amy
25:05Always Amy
25:06Yeah
25:07I don't know why I just thought Amy would be someone you'd approach
25:11Have you not seen Amy for a while?
25:12No
25:13Or this show ever
25:13Yeah
25:14She managed to find it in 4 minutes 44 seconds
25:17Ooh!
25:19No punishment, no extra minutes
25:21Do you want to hear the points?
25:23Yeah
25:23Well, Sophie found it quickest in 4 minutes 44
25:26Ooh
25:275 sweet points
25:29Exactly, yeah
25:30Joanne, 11 minutes 20 with your punishments
25:334 sweet points
25:344 sweet points
25:35John, you turned over 10, which means you had a total of 21 minutes 20
25:38Ooh, the 3 sweet points
25:41Yes
25:42And then the guys who turned over 45 cards
25:45Steve, your total time was 52 minutes 37
25:49Nick, 56 minutes 25
25:51Two points to Steve, one point to Nick Muhammad
25:53There it is
25:54Just under an hour
25:57Wow, this is my worst round luck
25:59Good, OK, what's next?
26:00Well, the bad news is, it's the final task
26:03Oh, dear
26:04But the good news is, Greg, you've just become a TV commissioner
26:07At last!
26:21Hello, Sophie
26:22Hello
26:22Hello, Nick
26:24Hello, Nick
26:24I keep forgetting that you're all here
26:26Pardon?
26:27Sorry, nothing
26:29OK, good luck
26:30Present the best new short-form shiny floor American game show
26:35Alex will be the contestant
26:37One of you must be his rival and somebody must win
26:39The game show Greg most wants to see commissioned wins
26:43Also, there is a bonus point for best new game show catchphrase
26:46You have a maximum of 30 minutes, your time starts now
26:50What about if you had to go through the stool of your opposite contestant
26:54To guess what they had for dinner last night?
26:58OK
27:00Can you play the keyboard?
27:02No, but I can do
27:07let's see two
27:08I imagine you can see something quite violent
27:09Yeah
27:13That's the Swarrow
27:15Do, do
27:16Oh no
27:17Do, do, do, do
27:19Do, do
27:20What about if it's
27:22shorter
27:26Oh
27:27Yes
27:28Oh yes
27:29To the stage
27:29Feel the rage
27:33Lage, mage, cage, the wage
27:36What about something like
27:38ESP or some like
27:39It's just people who like you know might sit
27:41In front of like like one of those things that just drop lots of people
27:43Right it's either that or
27:45Coming on with your stuff
27:46I'm not coming back to this but I think Greg would love that
27:54I just want to make sure
28:51You
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