- 11 minutes ago
Taskmaster - S17E10 - The Final： Ambience and Information [Full Movie] [New Drama]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Oh
00:34Oh
00:39I'm Greg Davis. Welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final
00:48What a journey we've been on we've seen the full
00:52Smorgasbord of skills and intuition and a woman from the north looking baffled
00:57As we thunder into this final set of challenges the ultimate prize of my gilded nut could go to any
01:05of them
01:05Apart from two of them who definitely can't win because they've been rubbish
01:11So here they are please roar one last time for the phenomenal Joanne McNally
01:28And for us to start this series a man who I always associate the good night out because he looks
01:32like a giant revolving kebab
01:34That's a kid in bottom-set art has drawn a face on
01:38There it's little Alex Horne
01:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:43Yeah, ma'am
01:45Awesome
01:46I hope you're going to wear my special outfit for the final
01:48So
01:50Pretty cool
01:51Genuinely all I want to do is wear these for the whole show
01:54LAUGHTER
01:55Well, I shan't be allowing the glasses to be worn for the final
01:58I must wear them. No, I should wear them
01:59Give me the fun
02:00No, I haven't trimmed them
02:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:08I mean, to be fair, it's one of your better chances
02:12Here we go then
02:13What is the final prize task of the series, please, Alex?
02:16Well, Greggington Bear
02:18We're ending on something that could really make a difference to the world
02:20Because you've asked them to bring in
02:22The thing that gives the most hope for the future of the human race
02:28And at the end of the episode, well, we'll all have hope
02:34And perhaps that's all you can ask for in this life
02:36I love you guys
02:38LAUGHTER
02:40Right then
02:41Sophie
02:43Welcome to the final
02:44What have you brought in?
02:45Right, so
02:47AI
02:48One day
02:49Right, you'll be able to
02:51Assess a body part
02:52Using your phones and stuff, right?
02:55Right
02:55We'll be able to have a full medical dead quick with AI
02:59Right
02:59And I thought that would be great
03:01Yeah
03:01And I thought especially for you
03:03Because of your life choices and everything that you get up to
03:06LAUGHTER
03:06I'm carrying a couple of pounds
03:08Yes, and you look knackered
03:11LAUGHTER
03:12Sophie, can I show Greg what you've actually brought in?
03:14Oh, yes, this is to remind you that there is hope on the way
03:16Yes, thank you
03:18A little robot
03:19LAUGHTER
03:21I think you're right that AI could save us
03:24And therefore, this is not as per total shit
03:28Great
03:29I'll take it
03:30Well done
03:31Nick
03:32So what I have brought is the concept of fate
03:40LAUGHTER
03:41Because I think that nothing should give more hope to the human race
03:46That no matter how much you might sort of screw up in life or on this show
03:50LAUGHTER
03:51The fact that it might be written in the stars somehow
03:54I think offers a degree of comfort
03:56Do you know what I mean by that?
03:58Yes
03:58Yes, largely to people who don't take responsibility for their own actions
04:01Yes
04:01Well, to that end, I have
04:05Made a prediction
04:06Oh
04:06Of my final score on this show
04:09That's quite exciting
04:11So I have genuinely, inside there
04:13Yes
04:14OK, I have written
04:15My final score of the whole series
04:17Right
04:18I'll sign it
04:19On here
04:21Across the flat
04:22You're watching Taskmaster on Final Four
04:24LAUGHTER
04:25Great, if you sign it over the seal as well
04:28There's a Sharpie
04:29And you know that no-one can get at it
04:30Great
04:31OK, and then
04:32If you just want to pop that under there
04:33I'll pop it under there, I will
04:35And the proof will be at the end
04:36But, um
04:36But, yeah
04:37Fate
04:38I feel like I'm totally under his power
04:41LAUGHTER
04:43Erm
04:44The world's in a pretty scary place
04:46I think we'd all agree that
04:47Perhaps those in power don't represent us
04:49Yeah, man
04:50Yeah
04:51I can see only one solution
04:53And that is
04:55Kathy Burke
04:56LAUGHTER
04:57I had the pleasure of meeting Kathy for the first time recently
05:01She is kind, funny, insightful, wise
05:06And I just think if we were somehow able to put Kathy Burke in charge of everything
05:12And or clone her with permission
05:14Then it would mean an end to war, inequality, poverty
05:17I just think she's got a lot of answers
05:21I mean, that is a lot of responsibility to put on the shoulders of the woman from Kevin and Perry
05:26Go Large
05:27LAUGHTER
05:29She chose Get Your Free Con on Desert Island Discs and that was my first answer at my wedding
05:32OK
05:34LAUGHTER
05:37That's reasonable to give her a low mark
05:39Erm
05:40Big fan
05:41Joanne
05:42Yeah
05:42Hello
05:42I really thought about this
05:44And the future of the human race
05:45As much as I love men
05:47They are a big problem
05:49LAUGHTER
05:49All the big...
05:50All the big hitters
05:51All the big dictators
05:52All men
05:53Yeah
05:54I've referred constantly to myself as a basic bitch
05:56It's time to give the power to women like me
05:58I present you with the basic bitch starter pack
06:01Yep
06:02We've got...
06:04LAUGHTER
06:05Some cucumber eye sheets
06:07We've got a couple of cheapo scented candles from Primark
06:10LAUGHTER
06:12Slippers, a onesie
06:13Cos basic bitches like to be cosy
06:15We like to relax
06:16Give more power to the basic bitches
06:18Things will be a lot more chilled
06:20CHEERING
06:22I've always said that
06:23I quite like it
06:24You sort of...
06:25Makes sense
06:26Steve
06:27What have you brought us?
06:29I've brought something tonight
06:30That I don't think anyone's ever brought into Taskmaster before
06:34OK
06:34And it's this
06:35Here it is
06:36Oh
06:37Nothing
06:38Oh God
06:39You're going to make me have an existential crisis aren't you?
06:41This is a statement
06:42Nothing
06:43If you think about all the dreadful things we've been through recently
06:46Sorry
06:47Artificial intelligence
06:48Brexit
06:49Cancel culture
06:50Deathly pandemics
06:52Yeah
06:52Greenhouse gases
06:53Hottest temperatures ever
06:55Ice caps melting
06:56John Robbins
06:57Probably winning Taskmaster
07:00These are the disasters of this ever
07:02LAUGHTER
07:03And I think you know it, Greg
07:05I do know
07:06And yet
07:09And yet
07:10And yet
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11He's doing the Tony Blair fun pointer
07:13LAUGHTER
07:15If there is a child watching this tonight
07:17Who looks up from their TikTok or their memes
07:19Just because of what I've just said
07:22And thinks
07:22Why is the nice old vicar man saying the world's going to end?
07:26I've got to do something about that
07:28And they tell a friend and their friend tells a friend
07:30Suddenly you've got the start of a movement
07:32Just because I chose to bring in nothing to Taskmaster
07:35And if you can support me on this, Greg
07:38Then I think this could be the beginning of a real change
07:41Society needs truth tellers
07:43Emmeline Pankhurst
07:45Rosa Parks
07:47Malala
07:48Greg Davis
07:57I just want to take a moment if I may
07:59Cos it's the first time I'll be included in a sentence
08:01In the same company as Malala
08:03LAUGHTER
08:06Right then, Greg
08:07Good luck
08:09Well, John
08:09There's no slight on Cathy Bourke
08:11I just haven't met her so I can't judge
08:13Cathy, if you're watching
08:14Sorry about this
08:15One point
08:16LAUGHTER
08:18It's difficult because Nick's magic trick
08:20Hmm
08:21Like, at the moment, it's rubbish
08:23But it might turn out to be amazing
08:25I'm giving him two points
08:26Full stop
08:27End of
08:27But if he correctly predicts the score at the end
08:30I'll give him a cash prize from my own
08:31A cash prize
08:32There we go
08:34£300
08:35Woo!
08:36Woo!
08:37Do I have to donate it to charity?
08:39Nope
08:39LAUGHTER
08:41Three points for the robot
08:42Three to Sophie
08:42Cos AI might well save us
08:44It might also destroy us
08:45Big problem
08:46I'm going to give the concept of nothing
08:48Even though it was one of the greatest performances I've ever seen
08:52Just because of...
08:53A basic bitch running the gaff is a bit more tangible
08:55I'll give her five points there
08:57Four points for Team Five is your end
08:59There we go
09:00That is so genuinely hard to score
09:02Impossible
09:04Impossible
09:04Let's have a proper task
09:05OK, well, first up for the final we have pegs, Greg
09:09Pegs
09:09Loads of pegs, Greg
09:11And tasks, Greg
09:12Don't ask, Greg
09:12But there's so many tasks, Greg
09:14Tasks in peg, Greg
09:15Let's go
09:29Oh, God
09:31You all right?
09:32You all right?
09:32You all right?
09:33Yeah, I'm all right
09:34John
09:35Hello, Alex
09:37Please open a task
09:38Oh, what is that?
09:41It's not that, is it?
09:43No
09:43But there are tasks
09:45Is this a random choice of task? Whichever I want?
09:48Yes
09:48This guy
09:51You sure?
09:52Yeah
09:52No
09:53Hello
09:54Oh, God
09:56Find and complete the real task
09:58Each task
10:00Has a 1% chance of being the real task
10:05Fastest wins
10:06Your time started when you opened your first task
10:11Lovely
10:14Well, this is one of those tasks that we do from time to time
10:17I think there is a basic intelligence test
10:20Because there are two ways of approaching this
10:22It's to take a moment
10:23And to work out if there's a way of finding out what the real task is
10:27Before you maniacally rip all of those tasks off the washing line
10:32Shall we crack on?
10:33Let's have a look
10:34OK
10:35Sophie and Joanne are up first to find the real task
10:38Here we go
10:39There's no point in me just pulling all these off
10:41Sure there's not
10:42Yeah
10:43But then I did think I was smart by pegging them all back in a lump
10:46Rather than individually
10:47And get it in to do it, yeah
10:48Yeah, yeah, of course
10:49Yeah, I had to help because it had taken so long
10:53Sophie, not for the first time you sounded like an Alan Bennett monologue
10:57It's a lesson for life
10:59Yeah, I've been baffled for a lot
11:01It's been horrific actually
11:03You weren't that baffled in this one, Sophie
11:05You stepped back and saw the enormous arrow pointing at the shape
11:09Was the task in the shape for an arrow?
11:17I don't think you should be allowed to run the world
11:21You spotted it after 2 minutes, you pinned them all back up
11:23After 3 minutes 41 you completed the task
11:26And what was Joanne's time?
11:2820 minutes and 20 seconds
11:30Guess what?
11:31Yeah, sorry
11:32Here are some adverts
11:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:44Ho!
11:45Welcome back to part 2 of our final
11:48Where there are a lot of tasks hung up on a washing line to dry
11:51That's right, these guys had to find the real task
11:54And then do that task
11:55OK, we've seen Sophie and Joanne
11:56So it's only fair we now see Steve
11:58Nick
12:00And John
12:02Each task has a 1% chance
12:04But the H of chance is underlined
12:06Some of the letters are underlined, Alex
12:08It spells out H-E-D-S
12:11What does that mean?
12:14A-B-C-D-E
12:17In case that's the thing
12:20Find and complete the rib
12:21No, it's not that, is it?
12:23Is that an arrow?
12:26H-E-D-S
12:30Shed
12:32Fuck this, I'm going to shed
12:38OK, hang on
12:39An anagram of H
12:40Is that the only ones underlined?
12:42H-E-D-S
12:46Stead
12:47Is that an arrow, Alex?
12:50It's an arrow!
12:52Shed
12:53Shed
12:57Shed
12:58This is a real task
12:59Peg all the tasks to the washing line
13:01Do it!
13:03Ha ha!
13:04Ah, you suckers
13:05I didn't take any off, did I?
13:08I took two off
13:14I've stopped the clock, John
13:15Have I finished?
13:19I've stopped the clock
13:20There you go
13:22Is that good?
13:23Yeah
13:28Thank you
13:30Thank you
13:52Last was Nick
13:531 minute 50 for you, Nick
13:55OK
13:55The others
13:56John, 1 minute 16
13:58Steve, 49.8 seconds
13:59CHEERING
14:02All three were very pleasing yourselves
14:04Oh, don't, don't, don't, don't
14:08Sophie
14:08Yeah?
14:09You're safe
14:10Great
14:11Oh, hello
14:12The rest of you
14:13Watch this
14:14Remember, you did have to peg all the tasks to the washing line
14:19See you later
14:19Do you want me to pick that up?
14:21Yes, please
14:25Thank you
14:26OK
14:28Oh, lovely
14:29Goodbye, Nick
14:29See you later
14:40Joanne and Nick, you did not complete the task
14:44I don't think that's going to make a difference to my scores
14:46No
14:48Which means Nick and Joanne both don't get any points
14:50Three points to Sophie
14:51Four to John
14:52And five to Steve Pemberton
14:54CHEERING
14:57Scoreboard, please
14:57Yes, and in the lead with nine, it's Steve Pemberton
15:00CHEERING
15:02What's next for this big fancy final?
15:05OK, well, this task is all anyone ever wants, really
15:07A hug with an old friend
15:21You like these big Lawrence of Arabia opening approach shots, don't you?
15:27Yeah
15:27But the director's loving this
15:29I'm not in the right shoes for this set-up, really
15:33Did it be a good day?
15:35It was really good
15:35I was just riding a horse bear back there
15:40It's not QWERTY, it's not a keyboard layout
15:42And it's not in alphabetical order
15:44But there are also repeats of some letters
15:46Because there's 2G
15:47I should read the task
15:48Hug your special friend
15:51Hmm
15:52Hug your special friend
15:53Does that have to give you a hug?
15:56We are colleagues
15:56Oh, right, OK
15:57Every time you touch a letter
15:59You must turn it over
16:01And one minute will be added to your time
16:03Fastest wins
16:04Your time starts now
16:07It is on the vague side, Alex
16:12APPLAUSE
16:13His special friend's quite a creepy thing to say
16:16Oh, is it?
16:17Shall I stop doing that?
16:19There's been a few times during this series where I thought
16:21I don't know
16:22Keith's been spending a bit too much time on his own
16:24Look
16:26Let's start
16:26OK, now it's one for the bird watchers out there
16:28Hi, Dad
16:29Hi, Mum
16:29Look, it's a pair of J's
16:31Joanne and John
16:34Well, I guess I'm going to start turning over letters
16:37Sure
16:37All right
16:39I'm going to go J because that's my, erm
16:43Well, all right, that, OK
16:44Let's go, Zed
16:47Biscuit
16:47You hungry?
16:48Nope
16:49Really?
16:50Hug your spell
16:51Oh, do I have to spell out hug?
16:53No, I'll spell out your name
16:54Is it Alex?
16:55That is my name
16:56Ah!
16:57What have you found?
16:58Your name
16:59You think?
17:00S string
17:03There's probably no strategy to this
17:05I'd say it's just a kind of like a free-for-all
17:07I got that vibe
17:09OK
17:11We've got a compass at least
17:18Oh no
17:19Oh no
17:19It's one of these
17:21So I've got to follow this in some direction from here, I would say
17:25So I reckon if I go in a circle at the end of this string
17:29I'm going to find a special friend
17:32Ow
17:34I'm in quite a lot of pain, Alex
17:36Would you like a biscuit?
17:37I wouldn't mind some gloves
17:38Or just at least an eye on health and safety
17:43Hello? Hello?
17:57I think I've done the wrong thing
18:03Ah!
18:12250 degrees west
18:13That's 250 degrees west
18:15Is it?
18:16Yeah
18:17Unless your compass is wrong
18:18Which way is north, John?
18:23This compass is wrong
18:24Have you used a compass before?
18:25Yeah
18:27Yeah
18:28That's north
18:28Yeah
18:29Oh, fuck
18:30Ah!
18:32Ha-ha-ha-ha!
18:37I've stopped the clock
18:38I remember him
18:40He's your special friend
18:42Ah, hello
18:43I've done it, Alex
18:44I've stopped the clock, John
18:46That was incredibly frustrating
18:48Yeah
18:49Not bad
18:51Thanks, Joanne
18:52No worries, thank you
18:54APPLAUSE
18:57Joanne
18:57Have you ever seen a walkie-talkie before?
19:01Because you looked at it with such childlike wonderment
19:04Was there something earlier in the series that I thought was a walkie-talkie but was a barbecue lighter?
19:08A barbecue lighter
19:10I'm not in the army, OK?
19:12I should have told you
19:13She's not in the army
19:14Why didn't you tell me she's not in the army?
19:16I'm sorry
19:17John takes this very seriously, this show
19:20He is a taskmaster nerd
19:22And I enjoyed it, you get angry
19:25It was 38 degrees when we filmed that
19:28And Alex kept asking me if I wanted a biscuit when I found biscuits under the letters
19:33I couldn't believe you didn't want a biscuit
19:34I didn't want a biscuit, Alex
19:35John's got no time for whimsy
19:37He wants to complete the task quickly and get the delicious points
19:40That's...
19:43Who's next?
19:44Next up, all the way from Fleetwood Mac
19:47It's Stephen Nicks attempts
19:50Stephen Nicks
19:51Who's my special friend?
19:53Is it one of the horses?
19:56I don't know what you do in your own time
19:58Right, well, I would love to spell out the phrase, hug your special friend
20:01But scanning the letters, I'm not seeing the letter Y
20:04Um, I'm going to just start with an H
20:09Is this a time thing?
20:11Fastest wins
20:12Fastest wins, OK
20:13And one minute per letter turned over
20:15Per?
20:15One minute is...
20:17Per letter turned over
20:18Yes
20:21Chocolate biscuit
20:22So it's somebody who likes chocolate biscuits
20:24OK
20:25Or is it for me, his chocolate biscuit?
20:27For me
20:28Oh
20:29Oh
20:31Hello?
20:32Is that my special friend?
20:37Fastest wins, isn't it?
20:38Yeah, right, I was aware of it, yeah
20:40Uh-huh
20:43Uh-huh
20:43Uh-huh
20:50Oh
20:52250 degrees west
20:53I'm guessing I'm going to have to eventually turn all of these over
20:56So why am I messing around?
20:58Oh, some wool
20:59All right
21:00What's the task again?
21:01Every time we turn it over, you must turn it over
21:03And one minute will be added to your time
21:05Yeah, you've spent 48 minutes so far
21:09Oh, and fastest wins
21:13Right
21:16Mannequin
21:17Mannequin
21:18The mannequin is my special friend
21:20Uh, so north is that way
21:23Yeah, north that way, which way do you reckon west is?
21:25This way
21:26That's west
21:28I don't want to expend unnecessary energy
21:30Hmm
21:33Hello, over
21:35Maybe, is this a clue?
21:37Is this an arrow?
21:38The mannequin that's pointing up this way
21:40Oh, there's something colourful
21:43Oh
21:44Aha
21:49Oh, you look like one of my characters from League of Gentlemen
21:52Oh, fucking hell
21:54Oh, fuck
21:57Oh, you're terrifying
22:00Oh, that wasn't too bad
22:01No?
22:02Yeah
22:03I think I did middling on that
22:05Hmm
22:05Well, you turned over 45 letters
22:13See, this is the difference between John and Nick
22:17Is that when you see a whimsical biscuit's been left undone
22:20You think I'm prioritising this biscuit
22:23I think it was the biscuit that made me forget that you weren't meant to turn over many letters
22:27Cos as soon as I had that biscuit, I just started turning over as many as I could find
22:30Yeah, the other difference is that Nick obviously did very badly
22:33Very pleased with himself
22:35I think that went quite well
22:37Steve, how'd you feel?
22:39Uh, annoyed I didn't need the biscuit
22:42Um, I was looking forward to finding a lovely word thing in the labyrinth of words
22:48Totally forgot the fact that each one was a minute
22:51Yeah, and then the greeting was, I mean, borderline orgasmic
22:56Had you forgotten there was someone inside your molecule?
22:59I'd totally forgotten because it was weeks and weeks earlier
23:02So I screamed, didn't I?
23:04It was hilarious
23:05Yeah
23:07Good
23:07Now, I'm not one to make judgements and I'm always fast to apologise when I do
23:12But I predict Sophie's going to be shit at this
23:15Time for another ad break, see you in a bit
23:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:30Oh! You join us for third quarter of our final and the completion of a task
23:35all about tracking down old friends
23:38Yes, old friends that they made for themselves
23:40Quite sad, really
23:41They've all managed to find and hug them so far
23:43But there is still one person left to go
23:47Will and Sophie be reunited with their old friend?
23:50Let's find out right now
23:51Right, OK
23:52Every time you touch a letter, you must turn it over
23:56And one minute will be added to your time
23:59But I don't want to touch a letter then
24:00Fastest wins
24:02Is it a tree-hugging exercise, is it?
24:05That sort of thing
24:08The problem is you've got crew hiding in bushes, haven't you?
24:11It's quite daunting
24:13Hello?
24:16Hello?
24:18Hello?
24:19I might aim for that tree over there
24:21Yeah, OK
24:22And I don't want to faff about with these, do I?
24:25No
24:26Hello?
24:27Who's there?
24:28Oh!
24:31Oh, I see!
24:32I thought it was going to be an old school friend or something
24:35This is your old friend, Wolfie
24:37Wolfie
24:38I've stopped the clock
24:39Is that it?
24:45I formally apologise
24:47Thank you
24:48Incredible
24:49I mean, 100% accidental?
24:52Well, I thought you would have a friend of mine from Manchester
24:55Hid in a bush
24:56That's...
24:57I thought Amy again
24:58You've thought about several times, yeah
24:59Yeah
24:59No, this show isn't about reuniting people with her
25:02Yeah
25:03She has kept saying, well, a friend jump out
25:06Where's Amy?
25:06Always Amy
25:06Yeah
25:08I don't know why I just thought Amy would be someone you'd approach
25:11Have you not seen Amy for a while?
25:12Or this show ever
25:14She managed to find it in 4 minutes 44 seconds
25:19No punishment, no extra minutes
25:21Do you want to hear the points?
25:23Yeah
25:23Well, Sophie found it quickest in 4 minutes 44
25:26Ooh
25:27Five sweet points
25:29Exactly, yeah
25:30Joanne, 11 minutes 20 with your punishments
25:33Four sweet points
25:34Four sweet points
25:35John, you turned over ten, which means you had a total of 21 minutes 20
25:38Ooh, the three sweet points
25:41Yes
25:42And then the guys who turned over 45 cards
25:45Steve, your total time was 52 minutes 37
25:49Nick, 56 minutes 25
25:51Two points to Steve, one point to Nick Muhammad
25:53There it is
25:54Just under an hour
25:57Wow, this is my worst round luck
25:59Good, OK, what's next?
26:00Well, the bad news is it's the final task
26:03Oh, dear
26:04But the good news is Greg, you've just become a TV commissioner
26:07At last
26:21Hello, Sophie
26:22Hello
26:22Hello, Nick
26:24Hello, Nick
26:24I keep forgetting that you're all here
26:26Pardon?
26:27Sorry, nothing
26:29OK, good luck
26:30Present the best new short form shiny floor American game show
26:35Alex will be the contestant
26:37One of you must be his rival
26:38And somebody must win
26:39The game show Greg
26:41Most wants to see commissioned wins
26:43Also, there is a bonus point for best new game show catchphrase
26:46You have a maximum of 30 minutes
26:48Your time starts now
26:50What about if you had to go through the stool
26:52Of your opposite contestant
26:54To guess what they had for dinner
26:55Last night
26:58OK
27:00Can you play the keyboard?
27:02No, but I can do
27:03You can do
27:03You can do
27:06Anhong
27:07You can do
27:09See something quite violent
27:10Yeah
27:15Sodududu du du du du du du
27:33Lage, mage, cage, the wage, mage.
27:36Right, what about something like ESP or something?
27:39It's just people who, like, you know, might sit in front of, like,
27:42like one of those things that just drop lots of people.
27:44Right, it's either that or coming on with your stuff.
27:47I mean, I keep coming back to this, but I think Greg would love that.
27:54I just want to make sure.
Comments