- 11 hours ago
The Chrisleys Back To Reality Episode 5 Engsub
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00:01Seeing them say goodbye was really hard.
00:04That was one of the worst days of my life, for sure.
00:07I'll never forget him opening the door
00:09and just watching him walk away.
00:12That was... that was really tough.
00:16I went to go visit my mom to break the news to her
00:20that I'm gonna be proposing to Jody.
00:22My mom doesn't want me to rush anything,
00:23but, I mean, it's been over two years,
00:25so I don't feel like I'm rushing anything.
00:27I heard from someone that Chrisley was getting pardoned.
00:32Of course I hope the pardon happens,
00:34but I try to push it out, like, hearing about it,
00:37so I don't set myself up for disappointment
00:39if it doesn't happen.
00:40It's gonna be fine, bud. See you and me.
00:43Always has been.
00:53This call is from Todd Chrisley.
00:56This call will be recorded and subject to monitoring at any time.
01:00You talked a lot about God showing you your higher purpose.
01:04You know, surrendering, trusting his timing.
01:07When you're down, it's easy for you to believe
01:10that you're the only one in the world
01:11that's experiencing what you're experiencing.
01:14And you lose hope.
01:16I said, Romans 15, 13,
01:17clearly said that, you know,
01:20may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace
01:23as you trust in him,
01:24so that you may overflow with hope
01:27by the power of the Holy Spirit.
01:29I have turned it all over to God.
01:31I said, in your town, you will reunite me
01:33with my wife and my children.
01:44So what's going on today?
01:45What's happening today in your family?
01:50My mom and my father are coming home.
01:55I guess.
01:57Definitely.
01:59You seem excited today.
02:02No.
02:06Are you excited about maybe seeing your parents?
02:08Yeah.
02:09I guess.
02:11When's the last time you started out?
02:14Like two months, a month or two ago.
02:17Well, it's been a while, right?
02:18Yeah.
02:21Have you thought about, like,
02:23what it would be like if your mom and dad came home
02:24and what that would be like for you?
02:27Uh-huh.
02:28What do you think that's going to be like?
02:30It's when I feel weird at first take it.
02:35Do you think that's going to happen?
02:36I don't know.
02:38How do you know?
02:40Because they said before and it didn't happen.
02:43When did this happen before?
02:46Like, a year ago.
02:48Breaking news.
02:49A federal appeals court has vacated
02:51former reality TV star Julie Chrisley's
02:53seven-year prison sentence.
02:55In a 54-page ruling,
02:57the court says the trial judge
02:58mistakenly calculated Julie's sentence
03:01by holding her accountable
03:02for the entire bank fraud scheme.
03:04We got the opinion back on the appeal.
03:07Didn't necessarily go as we had hoped,
03:10but we do have a little win.
03:12We vacate Julie's sentence
03:13and remand solely for the district court
03:16to re-sentence her accordingly.
03:18In the same ruling,
03:19it upheld her husband Todd's 12-year sentence.
03:22Please just be prayerful and I have some other ideas up my sleeve
03:26to get Dad home.
03:30Once Mom and Dad were convicted and went to prison,
03:32we know that we had multiple different grounds to file an appeal.
03:37We had always believed that Julie's involvement
03:39that they had alleged was pretty minimal.
03:42With Julie, one of the first things we appealed
03:43and focused on was the fact that her sentence
03:45wasn't really based on what she had done.
03:47It was based on what everybody had done.
03:50There wasn't sufficient evidence, we thought,
03:51to actually tie her to some of these claims and crimes.
03:54The judge essentially the first time said,
03:56I'm going to just throw you in with everything
03:58that your husband did and sentence you according to that.
04:01We appealed that,
04:02and the appeals court agreed with us and said,
04:03no, you need to make an individual determination
04:05of her sort of role in these allegations
04:08and determine then what her sentence should be.
04:10And so the court did kick us down to do that again.
04:12When we went for our resentencing hearing,
04:16we fully believed that she was going to get time served
04:19and come home.
04:20But boy, were we wrong.
04:24I was talking to Savannah,
04:26and she had just gotten word that I had won my appeal,
04:31which meant I had to be resentenced.
04:33I had to go back in front of the judge
04:35who had sentenced me originally to be resentenced.
04:40I had to go through transit.
04:41What that means is I am transported through the system
04:46by the marshals back to court.
04:50You're shackled, you're handcuffed, belly chained.
04:53There really is a Con Air.
04:55You are put on a Con Air flight.
04:58There's sometimes a few women up to maybe 10, 15 women.
05:02The whole rest of the plane are men.
05:05I was sent to Oklahoma to Grady County Jail,
05:09the most disgusting place I have ever been.
05:14So I was there for like six days.
05:17They come get you in the middle of the night and say,
05:20get packed up, you're leaving.
05:21You don't know where you're going.
05:22You're put back on a plane.
05:24I was then sent to Atlanta to Lovejoy.
05:27So I was transported from Lovejoy to the court
05:30on the day of resentencing.
05:32They did take the handcuffs off when I got into the courtroom,
05:36but I was shackled.
05:37The resentencing was probably maybe 30 minutes.
05:41We were there for the resentencing, and that was brutal.
05:45I mean, I didn't have much faith in our judge.
05:47I don't think that it was appropriate for her resentencing
05:51to go back to the same judge that messed up the first time.
05:54So I didn't have a lot of faith in it.
05:57Judge Ross reduced my restitution significantly,
06:00from 17 million to 4.5 million.
06:03But originally my sentence was 84 months and three years probation.
06:08She kept my sentence at 84 months and gave me five years probation.
06:13The judge proceeded to give her the same seven years in prison
06:19and then added on two more years to supervise release.
06:22But I certainly did not expect for her to add time.
06:27Her guidelines are substantially reduced,
06:30and the court doesn't give her a day of credit.
06:31I think when you talk about public confidence in the courts,
06:34it's a concerning result.
06:35I think we're also, I think, incredibly disappointed
06:38by the personal attacks on family members.
06:41At this point, I had come out and been very outspoken
06:45on my political beliefs and opinions, the corruption on the case,
06:49as well as supporting the president.
06:51I had spoken at multiple political conferences,
06:54and this is when the judge looked at me in the courtroom,
06:57and it is in the transcripts to where she says,
07:00to the person who has these minor children in their custody,
07:03you need to be more concerned with the well-being of these children
07:06than you are spreading false information to the public.
07:10I didn't put these expectations on Savannah,
07:12that you have to do anything exactly the way that I do it.
07:15She had her own way of doing it, and it was absolutely perfect
07:18for what was needed at the time.
07:20I'm going to tell the truth and nothing but the truth,
07:24and I'm not going to hold back.
07:25Our facilities should be a place for rehabilitation
07:29and not a place to foster abuse.
07:33The warden is threatened by the truth coming out.
07:35The judge is threatened by the truth coming out.
07:37The prosecutor is threatened by the truth coming out.
07:39It's all a huge cover-up.
07:43And they are pulling the curtain back on.
07:46The amount of children that come to me
07:50that don't have the resources that I have
07:53that, please help me, please help me, please help my parents.
07:57That's what I deal with.
07:58And so I'm not just doing this for my parents.
08:00I'm doing it for the thousands of other individuals
08:04who are incarcerated.
08:07So that 30-minute court resentencing, I was gone for 52 days.
08:14So far, that was the worst part of being in custody.
08:19Because you've now transported me all over the country.
08:21I mean, I went from Lexington to Oklahoma,
08:24Oklahoma to Atlanta, Atlanta back to Oklahoma,
08:29Oklahoma back to Lexington.
08:32It's just crazy. It makes absolutely no sense.
08:36I was never so glad and so grateful to get back to Lexington, Kentucky.
08:40It was horrible.
08:42It is very disappointing how this has turned out.
08:45I'm going to fight through it, and I'm not going to take no for an answer.
08:55I never doubted for one minute that Savannah was doing everything she could possibly do to get us out of
09:01prison.
09:02And then there was rumblings around Easter that it was going to happen.
09:05And then it didn't.
09:20You and Chloe are obsessed with this place.
09:24Dude, I know.
09:26Hello.
09:27Hello.
09:28Welcome to the Swing.
09:28We're back.
09:29How are you guys?
09:30Yes.
09:31I want Diet Coke.
09:32Okay.
09:32With, um, fresh lime.
09:35Can I do this small dragonado?
09:38Yeah, of course.
09:40I'm just happy we came early today and not when the line is a gazillion miles long.
09:47Oh, I know.
09:47This is what's going to bring you happiness today.
09:49Yeah.
09:50It is.
09:51One of the few things in life.
09:53This is it.
09:53This is one of them.
09:55The whole thing with all the pardon stuff.
09:57Honestly, it's sad because I truly thought, all right, mom's at least coming home.
10:02And then last night when I didn't hear anything from anyone, I started reaching out to all my contacts that
10:08I have.
10:09And they said, Santa, I don't know why the prison would have told her that.
10:15We don't know where this is coming from.
10:16Like, so yeah, that was a letdown for me.
10:20The pardon.
10:22He realized that, like, it's probably not happening this time.
10:25I mean, you got to get the most important and most powerful man in the world to sign off on
10:33something.
10:34I mean, it's pretty hard.
10:37I mean, obviously, I've got anger and resentment I've got to work on.
10:40But, like, we got that call from mom and, like, the anger that you have towards the whole situation.
10:48And you're just such a Debbie Downer about it.
10:51I don't think I'm a Debbie Downer.
10:53I think I'm realistic.
10:55Because everybody got their hopes up the first time with the resentencing.
10:59Well, and I know that.
11:00And I know a lot of this is self-protection for you.
11:03But you can't just give up because things fall apart.
11:06When things fall apart, it's because something better is going to come.
11:11No, my thing was always look at when they're going to get out as their sentence.
11:17Look at that.
11:17Because if it happens before then, then it's a good surprise.
11:21If it doesn't, you knew when it was going to happen.
11:24For me to have the fight that I have, I have to look at it like they're coming home tomorrow.
11:31Mm-hmm.
11:32I'm going to continue to tell our story to anybody that'll listen and anyone that I believe can help.
11:37Because I feel like we're right on the cusp.
11:39I'm telling you, it's going to happen.
11:41I can't give you a timeframe, a date, or any of that.
11:46But I know we're close and it's going to happen.
11:49So, like, you've got to be positive.
11:51You can't let this make you angry.
11:53You can't carry it over into every other aspect of your life.
11:56No, no.
11:57And all I got to say is if my house is ever in this position, you better fight for me.
12:03You better fight.
12:05At the end of the day, I know that if I want my parents home,
12:09it's going to happen because of me.
12:11I'm not going to sit back and wait for something to happen.
12:14I'm going to make it happen.
12:26Thank you so much.
12:28You got the Reuben, my favorite.
12:29Perfect.
12:30Looks great.
12:36I'm sorry.
12:37I pray, man.
12:38You're good.
12:38I'm a God-fearing man.
12:40I pray every morning.
12:42Every morning?
12:42I pray all day.
12:43I pray all night.
12:44I do too, man.
12:46Dude, my health is going to .
12:48I don't know if it's just everything I've done catching up to me.
12:52Or stress.
12:53It's everything and the stress.
12:55Stress will kill you, man.
12:56It will kill you faster.
12:58It will age you faster.
13:00It ain't going to age me because I will be, I'll go under the knife.
13:04But I got a hemorrhoid the size of Alabama and a tax bill that could buy a lake house.
13:10So right now.
13:12You got to get past that though.
13:14Dude.
13:14Look who it is.
13:16How you doing?
13:17You just got skinny on me.
13:18Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure.
13:19How are you?
13:20Good to see you.
13:21So good to see you too.
13:23I am a support system for Savannah and Chase.
13:27I guess I would say I am the closest person to them that's not a blood relative.
13:31They come to me all the time because I'm a safe place.
13:34And that gives me an opportunity to give them some guidance or some counsel about what I think they should
13:40do based on that situation.
13:41A lot of times, they just need to vent.
13:43Okay, what's going on in the roofing business?
13:46Our goal is to obviously build it up and eventually sell it one day.
13:51Chase has to rise to the occasion.
13:52Yeah.
13:53Because it's...
13:54Well, he has the ability to do it.
13:55Absolutely.
13:56100%.
13:57You're doing this on your own without your family.
14:00Yeah.
14:00Everything else you have done has somehow been interwoven within the family thing.
14:03And I think it is good for you to kind of have your own ways.
14:07My own thing, yeah.
14:08I think I feel more pressure for myself than anybody to just be accomplished and accomplish a lot.
14:16Like, I think I've set the bar pretty high for myself with what I want to accomplish and what I
14:21want to be able to provide for my family.
14:24My dad def...
14:25I mean, my dad doesn't, like, put pressure on me, but he definitely is like, alright, like, what do you
14:29want to do? Figure out something.
14:32So, like, I feel a little bit of pressure from him, but more so pressure from myself.
14:37Chase is not the entrepreneur that Savannah is, although he aspires very much to do so.
14:44He definitely struggles a bit more.
14:47What I have learned through my own therapy and things, everything is about you.
14:52I'm my therapy.
14:55I ain't going to therapy.
14:56Everybody needs to go to therapy.
14:58Everybody does.
14:59It's just healthy.
15:00Okay, first off, I think you don't like the word therapy because it connotes some negative connotation.
15:04I want you to think about it this way.
15:06It's coaching, and everybody can do better with coaching because they teach you better ways to communicate.
15:11Because, you know, most of the issues that you get into with other people have resulted in some kind of
15:17bad interaction and communication.
15:19And we all can grow in that.
15:20I mean, I don't think we ever stop growing.
15:22So what are you...
15:23When we say the word therapy, you, like, have a visceral reaction to it.
15:27I'm just not doing it.
15:28But why?
15:28I don't want to.
15:29Why?
15:30I don't want to.
15:31Can you articulate it?
15:32I don't trust people.
15:33I trust very few people.
15:36And I'm not going to sit and pay somebody to tell me that I'm up.
15:41I already know that.
15:43The way I look at it, Savannah's been going to therapy, like, once or twice a week for I don't
15:48know how long.
15:50Proof's in the pudding went right there.
15:53That s*** ain't working.
15:55I would encourage you to think about that because it's part of a healing process.
16:00And you're an open wound.
16:03I definitely trust Bill for advice.
16:05I know he would never, like, steer me in the wrong direction.
16:07I'm not one to sit and talk about my feelings.
16:10Like, I've never done that.
16:12And I just, like, it's just not a very easy thing for me to do.
16:17So it's just something that I've got to work on as a man.
16:21But I'll get there.
16:22It's just going to take some time.
16:32How do you feel about what the doctor said?
16:35I mean, I'm kind of scared.
16:38Within, like, the last year, I've lost a lot of weight.
16:41My body's just, like, rejecting food.
16:49She's sick or he's sick?
16:50He's sick.
16:57You know where Chase is?
16:59Again?
17:02You okay?
17:04No, I'm not.
17:05I just literally can't keep anything down.
17:08Something's going on.
17:10It sucks.
17:11I mean, it's absolutely miserable.
17:17In regards to Chase's health,
17:19it's progressively gotten worse.
17:22He ultimately cannot keep a meal,
17:26even sometimes watered down.
17:28I've been trying to change his diet,
17:31but like the stubborn Chase that he is,
17:34he refuses to think that that will help.
17:38This one is.
17:50Hey, beautiful.
17:52How you doing, you baby?
17:54I'm glad you think I'm beautiful.
17:57One thing about it, y'all always said,
17:59when we'd come to y'alls' thing at school,
18:03they always said, well, they knew when we come, me and Papa,
18:07that we'd be the prettiest grandparents there.
18:10That's what they all always say.
18:12Well, you definitely are.
18:14We had a great time in Louisiana, Nanny.
18:17Well, I'm glad y'all did.
18:18And the food was phenomenal.
18:21Yeah.
18:21How many crawfish did y'all eat?
18:23Five pounds by myself.
18:25Oh, God.
18:27Extra spicy.
18:28About to say.
18:29Mm-hmm.
18:30Um, I also did something else, Nanny.
18:33What?
18:34Eat some snake?
18:35Are you me?
18:36You think I would do something?
18:38I would not do that.
18:39You eat everything else?
18:44Um, no.
18:46I asked Jody's dad if I could marry her.
18:49Oh, God.
18:50He said, I'm glad.
18:51Good riddance.
18:52Bye.
18:54Is that what he said, Jody?
18:56No, Nanny, he was...
18:57Of course not.
18:58I'm the favorite.
18:59No.
19:00It went well.
19:02He shook my hand and he said he couldn't think.
19:05Of having...
19:06He couldn't...
19:06He said...
19:07What was his exact words?
19:09He said, I couldn't think of a better son-in-law.
19:11So what do you think about that?
19:13Well, I'm gonna have my hand before you.
19:15Mm-hmm.
19:16Well, you know, we can't choose who we want.
19:19For our grandchildren or our children, their partner.
19:24Or who they want to spend their life with.
19:27So you know what?
19:28I just say everybody deserves to be miserable.
19:31So go do you.
19:33That's what I say.
19:35And how would you describe their relationship?
19:41Nanny.
19:42Huh?
19:43Do I...
19:44Do I have your blessing to marry Jody?
19:49If that's what your heart wants to do...
19:52Yes.
19:54Papa?
19:56Has nothing to do with the heart.
19:58Is this the woman that God's got for you?
20:00And if that's the case, yes.
20:03Is anyone ever really ready to be married?
20:06Uh, some would say, oh, yeah.
20:09Because that's my soul mate.
20:10But I think right now, for Chase, it's trying to get everything established.
20:16He misses the old days there.
20:18And rightfully so, I think we all do.
20:20Um, but yeah.
20:21I think ultimately, if things work out, and you never know, that they probably will get married.
20:26You know, they've got things, I want it my way.
20:28Oh, no, I want it my way.
20:30No, I want it my way.
20:31Pam and I went through that kind of thing, until we reached this wonderful compromise
20:36where I got to have it my way.
20:40Works for us, but probably won't work for them.
20:47I went to the doctor.
20:49What did they say?
20:50They're going to run some tests to see if my gallbladder's working.
20:54And then run tests to see if my stomach's working.
20:58And if those are not working, if those are working, they're going to do a CT scan to see if
21:04I have a brain tumor.
21:07I don't know exactly what's going on with Chase.
21:09For about four years, Chase has had, um, stomach issues.
21:14He could eat, and he'd be in the bathroom, or he'd be throwing up.
21:18And that seems to have gotten much worse since I left.
21:21He's lost 15 pounds.
21:23I don't understand, because maybe I don't want to know if something's really wrong.
21:27And I said, do you know how stupid that sounds?
21:30I said, you find out what's wrong, and you get it fixed.
21:34And you go on with your life.
21:36We're going to get to the bottom of it, I assure you.
21:40I want to tell you something.
21:42You know your children have been with me your whole life.
21:45Huh?
21:46I said, yeah.
21:47Oh, he's done gone.
21:55Honey, you good?
21:56Yeah.
21:58I've been doing research now.
22:00They always tell me about Googling.
22:02That's my best friend.
22:03It says it could cause some anxiety, loss of sleep, and a lot of emotional things.
22:13But I tell him, what you're doing, Chase, of putting so much salt on food and hot sauces,
22:21you don't burn the lining of your stomach out.
22:23That's what I tell him, because I can't eat all that hot sauce.
22:26And he likes hot food.
22:27But I said, you need to stop it.
22:31But you know what?
22:34I can only tell him.
22:36That's for not taking care of yourself.
22:38I'm just telling you what they said.
22:40Okay.
22:41But if I do have a brain tumor, I'm going to leave.
22:46You got to take care of me.
22:48Well, I will.
22:49I'll take care of you forever.
22:52We got some things to do, me and you.
22:55I know.
22:57We can go up the road anytime at night.
23:01We ain't got a hundred and something miles to go.
23:03Honey, I just told you that I might have a brain tumor, and you're talking about going to the casino.
23:09Well, hold on.
23:11If you got a brain here, you shouldn't be cussing.
23:14What?
23:19You know, they always say, who's your favorite?
23:22My favorite today is the one that needs me the most.
23:25Me and him is ride or die.
23:30I love you.
23:40Hey.
23:41Well, hi, Craig Craig.
23:43How are you doing?
23:44Well, I'm blessed, baby.
23:47I'm blessed every day.
23:48Every day.
23:49I'm able to get up.
23:50Mm-hmm.
23:51What you up to?
23:53Oh, nothing.
23:55Well, I haven't even got to chit-chat with you lately.
23:58You look so good.
24:00And your teeth, oh, my God, they just shine.
24:05You still talking a little Blaze?
24:07Yeah.
24:08Oh.
24:08You know we're not dating.
24:10Huh?
24:10You know we're not dating.
24:12I don't care if she's the best friend in the world, but just because you're not dating
24:15now don't mean you're not going to.
24:17I know.
24:17Because I got to have her.
24:20Nanny Faye, sorry, but Blaze is just my friend from school.
24:25We just met through mutual friends and stayed friends.
24:29You start out being a friend.
24:30You don't start off being anything else.
24:33Exactly.
24:35But she's so sweet-ish.
24:37I know it.
24:38We'll see what happens.
24:39Well, I got to do a phone call.
24:41About what?
24:43About my business.
24:45Well, make you call.
24:46I'll be back in a minute.
24:47I'll be waiting.
24:48I'm not going nowhere.
24:50Love you.
24:51I love you.
24:52Hey, Nanny.
24:54Hey, girlfriend.
24:55I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
24:57You know I wouldn't do it if it wasn't important.
24:59I knew it.
25:00It's important.
25:00I ordered you some lunch.
25:02Well, thank you.
25:04You look cute.
25:06I try sometimes.
25:09Oh, this looks so good.
25:10American cheese?
25:11Yes.
25:11I knew you'd like that.
25:14Where's Grayson?
25:16He's got a phone call.
25:17You know what, though?
25:18While he's gone, me and you need to come to Jesus a little bit.
25:23What do we have to have a come to Jesus on?
25:25Jody.
25:27And you hadn't even given her a chance.
25:29Nanny, don't even.
25:31Don't start.
25:32If she was good for, if she, nah-uh.
25:34Listen, you gonna have to give her a chance.
25:37No, I don't.
25:38I don't have to give nobody a chance.
25:41Well, you do.
25:42He's already asked her father for her hand in marriage.
25:46Then that shows you how stupid he is.
25:50He doesn't even have his life together.
25:53He lives with his grandparents.
25:56So you supposed to get married and live with your grandparents?
25:59Y'all, this is the dumbest.
26:03Well, it's okay.
26:04I've ever heard that we got to give her a chance.
26:07We'll make a deal.
26:08Well.
26:08You just hang out enough with it for the both of us.
26:11I don't even hang out with my own brother.
26:13Why am I gonna hang out with her?
26:17I mean, I feel bad for her.
26:19I don't.
26:20Why do you feel bad for her?
26:22Well, I feel bad for anybody that's having a hard time.
26:24Why are you even encouraging having to propose to her?
26:28Well, everybody might not like who I married.
26:31But I loved him, and I married him.
26:35You know what?
26:36She's probably scared and nervous.
26:38Nanny, she moved here, and she has lived here for what?
26:42A year, and has no job.
26:45I understand that, too.
26:47But, you know, she had a great job in New Orleans.
26:50And when she got tied up with Chase, Jody gave up her job and moved to Nashville.
26:56I worked in the OR as the doctor's assistant in laser tech,
27:01and I was working weekends and on call all the time.
27:04And, you know, I only get so much PTO.
27:07We decided to give up the long distance and move here.
27:13Mainly because it was getting pretty expensive.
27:16The flights and we wanted to be near each other and around each other all the time.
27:21You know what?
27:22Give her some time.
27:23She's in love.
27:25What are you all talking about?
27:26Talking about Chase.
27:28Apparently, he's proposing to that girl.
27:30That's the dumbest decision he's ever made.
27:33He needs to go and get his life on the right track and be in a healthy and whole place
27:39with himself
27:40before he even thinks about getting married to this girl.
27:45At the end of the day, he's going to do what he wants to do.
27:48And there's nothing anybody can do to stop it.
27:50I think it's an awful idea.
27:52And you're rushing into it.
27:55I mean, you propose to somebody, but you live in an apartment with your grandparents.
28:01And it makes you question her also.
28:04If you're okay with a man not trying to better himself,
28:07not trying to better a life for both of you, then that's an issue.
28:14And you're also not working on top of it?
28:19That's just the blind leading the blind.
28:22Then what's going to happen is she's going to end up pregnant.
28:25And that's why there's so many screwed up people in this world.
28:29It's because parents bring children into this world when they're not even whole themselves.
28:34Well, I know, but everybody kept me perfect.
28:37I mean, I know he needs it.
28:38You don't need to encourage this.
28:41I'm going to give Joanie the benefit of the doubt.
28:43We've got to give her a chance.
28:46If Chase decides to marry her, you know we're going to have to go to the win.
28:51Nanny, no. I don't have to go.
28:53No, we are. I'm not going.
28:54Yeah, you're going.
28:55No, I'm not.
28:56You are.
28:57Then if you want me to go, then they'll say,
28:59and does anyone object? I'd say I do.
29:02Well, I'll tie your arm down.
29:05I think Chase just has a hard time with perception versus reality.
29:12He wants everyone to think one thing when the reality of it is totally opposite.
29:18The only responsibility Chase has is himself.
29:21He's responsible for one life and one life only.
29:24I'm responsible for me, Chloe, Grayson, Nanny Faye, Mom, and Dad.
29:31And I'm still out here hustling every day and trying to be the best that I can be.
29:37I would have no problem in supporting Chase.
29:39I want him to be successful. I want him to be happy.
29:42But when what you're doing is not providing those results,
29:49then I'm sorry. I'm not going to support the decisions that you're choosing.
30:01Ready? One, two, three.
30:07Of course, as a mother, it hurts me to think that everyone's not banding together.
30:13If Chase visits me, everything that's going wrong is Savannah's fault.
30:18If Savannah visits me, everything that's going wrong is Chase's fault.
30:21I have been that peacekeeper.
30:23And I think now that I'm not there,
30:26there's no one else that has stepped into that role.
30:32I've had a lot of, like, really traumatic stuff happen.
30:35Not only stuff with my parents, but other stuff, too.
30:37And I don't think I ever did, like, face it.
30:41I kind of just buried it and just didn't talk about it.
30:46I kind of felt like if I didn't talk about it, then it didn't exist.
30:55The older I get, I'm coming to realize that all of those things have affected me.
31:03And the way I've behaved and the way I've responded to things
31:06and the way I've acted in relationships.
31:11My everyday life is really hard.
31:13And, I mean, I definitely struggle in my own ways.
31:19So I've been going to therapy to help me when it comes to how I'm dealing with my emotions.
31:27How are you?
31:28Hello.
31:29So nice to meet you.
31:30Nice to meet you.
31:31It's a pleasure.
31:32It's a pleasure to meet you. Come on in here.
31:33I definitely trust Bill for advice.
31:35I know he would never, like, steer me in the wrong direction.
31:38So I finally caved in and went to therapy.
31:41So, um, is this your first time to do anything like this?
31:45I did, like, a therapy session one time, but it was, like, with my parents' therapist.
31:51I see.
31:52Yeah, it did not go well.
31:53It did not go well.
31:55Okay.
31:56So we just want to take it slow.
31:58Could you share with me just a little bit about you
32:01and kind of what life's been like for you over the last little bit now?
32:06Um, life has been kind of a show, honestly.
32:11Kind of a show, yeah.
32:13Um, my parents are currently, like, locked up.
32:16Yeah.
32:17Um, we work together and obviously we were, I mean, my family's always been very close.
32:23And I kind of feel like I've, like, ever since, like, we stopped work, I'm trying to finally figure out,
32:29like, what my purpose is.
32:31I don't know. I don't want to, like, find my purpose in, like, my family.
32:35But just, I kind of don't know what to do.
32:38I don't know what to do.
32:39Or how to feel.
32:41Yeah.
32:41Like, right now the only thing I feel is, like, anger.
32:45What do you perceive as going on around you when these moments of anger really kind of get stirred up?
32:50I think, like, whenever, like, things aren't necessarily going in the right direction or, like, I'm not getting along with
33:03my sister or something like that.
33:04Like, those tend to be, like, triggering things that, like, make me snap.
33:08Oh, it's kind of like overdrive.
33:09And I'm just like, why can't we not get it together?
33:10Yeah, of course. Why can't we get it together? Yeah.
33:13Yeah.
33:14I think I'm in my angry phase right now.
33:17And when I get angry, what does Savannah do?
33:23It just depends on who the person is.
33:25How I deal with anger with Chase is different than how I would deal with anger with...
33:30I mean, I would say it's different, but I guess it's not, because I just shut people out.
33:33I shut people out, yeah.
33:35I'm a master at putting a smile on my face.
33:37I can be sobbing my eyes out, and then two minutes later, I'm going to walk out the front door
33:41with a smile on my face.
33:41Of course.
33:42I never know.
33:43It takes a lot for me to shut off.
33:46Hmm.
33:47Like, it takes a lot, but then when I shut off, it's like we're to the point of no return.
33:53That's where I feel like I'm at with Chase, and it sucks, but it's like you can only put up
33:58with the same so many times.
34:01Anger's a great motivator, though, because it motivates us to take action.
34:08Yeah.
34:09That make sense?
34:10Yeah.
34:11What if my anger is a sense of, I want justice for my family, but I might have to start
34:17with my brother?
34:18And what if my anger is maybe moving me toward something deeper with him than maybe I think he has
34:26capacity for?
34:28I want to be close to her.
34:30I want to have, like, a good, solid relationship with her.
34:33What do you think are the roadblocks that prevent that?
34:35I think that she feels like she got dealt a really fucking hand, which she did.
34:40Mm-hmm.
34:41That's a fair feeling, but she wants to have control over my life.
34:45Like, she's taking care of my younger siblings.
34:49So, like, she's, like, got control over their life, and I think that she's just afraid of something else happening.
34:55I don't know.
34:56I don't know.
34:56Maybe me f***ing up and doing something.
34:58I see.
34:59Whenever I drink, I've gotten in a little bit of trouble.
35:02But...
35:02Okay.
35:03Is that something that you lean on a little more than you should?
35:06I definitely have since they went away.
35:09Yeah, of course.
35:10Yeah, but I haven't...
35:11I haven't drank in, like, a month, so...
35:13Good for you.
35:14Yeah.
35:15That's wonderful.
35:15I just can't do it.
35:17Yeah, because if I have some...
35:20There's no cutoff.
35:21There's no cutoff, yeah.
35:22Yeah.
35:22When there are substances involved, it's, like, a waste of time.
35:29Okay.
35:29Can I challenge you on something?
35:31Yeah.
35:31Addiction is driven by disconnection.
35:35What if part of the family healing is bringing him back into a place of connection?
35:42It's hard having Chloe and Grayson.
35:46Like, I can't have him around them.
35:49That's what I'm not willing to risk.
35:51That makes complete sense.
35:52So what if we're not trying to acclimate back into the whole family system right now?
35:57And what if it's just getting him reconnected with you?
36:00And to see where that might go.
36:05I also have two kids that I have to take care of.
36:08I have to fight for my parents.
36:10I can't fight for everyone.
36:15My parents, like, them being gone and us being separated, I don't feel like I'm gonna be able to be
36:21happy and get to that place of, like, comfort and peace until they're back home with us.
36:28Oh, I see.
36:29Yeah.
36:30So outside of them, it's hard for me to see.
36:34The future.
36:36That's a big statement.
36:38Yeah.
36:39I don't know.
36:39I feel like I've kind of just hit the pause button on everything until they get back.
36:47I never put myself in a position to really succeed long term and be at peace with myself and be
36:56comfortable in my own skin because I've always tried to do for everyone else and be whoever they needed me
37:07to be at that time.
37:09So I think I need to stop doing that and choose self.
37:14Yeah.
37:15Well, that's why I'm here.
37:16Taking a step to taking better care of yourself.
37:19Yeah.
37:20I've just gotten to a point since I've stopped drinking and stopped partying.
37:23Like, I've got to do everything I can do to protect my own mental health.
37:29So I don't want to argue with Savannah and I don't want to go back and forth with Savannah.
37:33I just think it's better for both of us right now until she gets to a place where she wants
37:38to have a productive, like a healthy, productive relationship with me.
37:42And like, let's just move forward and like be there for each other and love each other.
37:47Then nothing good is going to come from it.
37:56I will take my kids and their, and their downside and their upside.
38:00Even when they have a bump in the road, even if they fight at the end of the day, they're
38:04my children and I love them equally.
38:06And yes, they will all be at my table.
38:08I don't care if they are fighting.
38:09I don't care if they want to, whatever, they're going to be at the table.
38:14As hard as I am, there is some fear in me that something's going to happen to Chase.
38:20And it's very valid.
38:21I mean, just in the way that he looks, Chase is not Chase.
38:27Like, it's literally like a blank shell.
38:30You can tell it in all the weight that he's lost and the rings around his eyes.
38:35And he's not who I know is my brother.
38:42Oh my God.
38:45I'm literally the funniest person I know, I swear to God.
38:50Like, I feel like I've already buried my brother.
38:58So I'm in this place now.
39:01I've put enough distance between me and him.
39:04Mm-hmm.
39:05So that if something does happen, at least it can be feel more manageable.
39:08Yeah.
39:09Like, I feel like it's just like a self-protection.
39:11Yeah, of course it is.
39:15And so it's hard for you to then trust, is he even available to do this relationship?
39:21Yeah.
39:23Okay.
39:25At the end of the day, Chase hasn't done anything beyond repair.
39:28Of course.
39:32Like, I want a relationship with him.
39:34I want him to thrive.
39:36And I want, but also there's a part of me that is so afraid that he's going to die.
39:43I literally, like, I don't even want to try to have a relationship with him.
39:49Oh, I see.
39:50Because if something were to happen to him, it's like now I'm closed off enough to where, I mean, I
39:59would be devastated.
40:00Of course.
40:00But I feel like I've been just trying to grieve the loss of him little by little so that when
40:09it happens, it's not this big bang.
40:41Hmm.
40:42So, my grandparents lost a son and my mom lost a brother.
40:47And it's heartbreaking.
40:50I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to where, when that time does come, that I step in.
41:01And I'm going to have to care for my parents because they'll never be the same.
41:06So, it's the only way I know how to protect myself, which is just by letting Chase know that what
41:13he's doing is wrong.
41:14And it's going to lead to a terrible end game.
41:23Chase and Savannah love each other dearly.
41:25They would give their life for each other.
41:27But they just don't see eye to eye on a lot of things.
41:30This has been a very rough two and a half years.
41:33Todd and Julie have always been there to lead, guide, and direct.
41:37And when they went away, all that went away.
41:41So, I hope and pray that once Julie and Todd get home, we'll see a big difference.
41:46Well, I live every day in the hopes that I'm going to get home sooner than I think.
41:52I live every day with the hopes that I will be reunited with my husband and my kids and my
41:58parents and my mother-in-law.
42:12My mama taught me to pray.
42:14The power of prayer.
42:15That's where miracles happen.
42:16That's where miracles happen.
42:19The power of prayer.
42:19Turn it off from there.
42:21The power of prayer.
42:22If you reach someone, that is one heaven to be able to resist the thought of what you believe.
42:22Guys, I cover my life.
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