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00:00:00Caleb isn't answering his phone. Lacrosse practice ended an hour ago. Could you just find him?
00:00:05We're waiting for you for dinner. Yeah, fine. I'll look for him. Catherine can't reach her
00:00:11precious son, and somehow that's my problem. Our parents have been inseparable since childhood.
00:00:17Catherine is my godmother. They raised us side by side, convinced we'd grow up as close as they were.
00:00:23They never noticed when it all went wrong. Jade Richards perches on the edge of the sink,
00:00:27and Caleb, right there, stands between her thighs in nothing but a towel that hangs dangerously low
00:00:33on his hips. Caleb, someone could walk in. I don't give a fuck. I should leave. I should
00:00:40definitely, absolutely leave. Instead, I stand there like an idiot, heat flooding through my body in
00:00:46waves. This is disgusting. He is disgusting. You hate him. I slam the door, forcing my expression
00:00:53into irritation rather than the hot shame crawling up my throat. Your mother's been calling you for
00:00:58an hour, asshole! Our parents need us both at my house for dinner tonight. Apparently, it's something
00:01:04important. I should go. Coach will kill me if I'm late. You could have texted. Catherine asked me to
00:01:12find you. I found you. Message delivered. Is that what we're calling it? Because it looked a lot like
00:01:20you were watching. Long enough to be disgusted. Disgusted, right? I'm leaving. Don't be late
00:01:27for dinner. I'll drive you home. I have my bike. Still not in the mood to sit on some used
00:01:32condoms
00:01:33in your car. Suit yourself, princess. Dinner passes in a blur of small talk and forced smiles,
00:01:42but something feels different tonight. Catherine keeps touching my father's arm,
00:01:47not the comforting pats of a grieving friend. They've been spending so much time together since
00:01:52mom died, since Caleb's father vanished with every dollar the Thorntons had. Kids, Catherine and I
00:01:59actually have something to tell you, so we've decided to get married. No, no way. He deserves
00:02:05happiness, and Catherine is wonderful, but it's only been six months since my mother died. We found a new
00:02:11house. Neutral territory for everyone. The kids' rooms are on the same floor, and Serena, your room
00:02:20connects to Caleb's through a Jack and Jill bathroom. Isn't it cool? Come on, you guys. It will be nice.
00:02:29My lifelong secret crush soon to become my stepbrother. Yeah, dad, really fucking nice.
00:02:36I set the boxes down on the unfamiliar floor, surveying this room that was supposed to be mine.
00:02:43Neutral territory, my father called it. A fresh start. The walls are painted a careful beige that
00:02:49commits to nothing. Now I'm here, in this house that holds no memories of my mother.
00:02:57Careful! It's just your crap.
00:03:00I'm taking a shower. Try not to miss me too much. This is what I am now. Sharing walls with
00:03:08my worst
00:03:09school enemy. But there was a time before all that. You're doing it wrong. Here. Like this.
00:03:17Stop. Stop romanticizing. Shit, my tampons! I left them on the bathroom counter this morning.
00:03:27If I'm fast enough?
00:03:35Wanted a preview of your new stepbrother, pervert? That's fucked up, even for you.
00:03:40I just left something on the counter. Not everything is about you and your abs, asshole!
00:03:46Keep telling yourself that.
00:03:50I'm not done talking.
00:03:52Well, I'm done listening.
00:03:54Let go of me, Caleb!
00:03:56Or what? Gonna scream, run to daddy?
00:04:01God, you're pathetic!
00:04:03Still crying over mommy?
00:04:06It's been six months, Serena.
00:04:08The rest of us have moved on.
00:04:10You are exactly like your shitty father!
00:04:13Say that again. I dare you.
00:04:15You heard me.
00:04:16You're just like him.
00:04:18Like Simon.
00:04:19A bully who only feels big when he's making someone else feel small.
00:04:23Keep his fucking name out of your mouth before I...
00:04:25Before you what?
00:04:27Hit me!
00:04:28Prove my point!
00:04:30Such a shame your mother won't see you graduate.
00:04:32But hey, your dad moved on quickly.
00:04:35Guess she wasn't that hard to forget.
00:04:37Don't talk about my mother!
00:04:39Why not?
00:04:41Scared you're just as forgettable as she is?
00:04:44Careful, princess.
00:04:46Do you really want to start something you can't finish?
00:04:48You know what I think?
00:04:49I think you're terrified that one day you'll be gone and no one will even notice.
00:04:53That you'll just be another ghost no one bothers to remember.
00:04:57No one will ever truly love someone as pathetic as you.
00:05:00And deep down you know it's true.
00:05:09Serena, open the fucking door!
00:05:13You just signed your death sentence, princess.
00:05:16You hear me?
00:05:17From this moment on, your life is going to be a living hell.
00:05:21There's a long silence before his footsteps retreat and I hear his bedroom door slams.
00:05:26Minutes pass.
00:05:28Maybe five.
00:05:29Maybe ten.
00:05:29Then I sink to the floor, back against my bed, and wrap my arms around my knees.
00:05:35I hate him.
00:05:36I hate that I wounded him.
00:05:38I hate that I noticed.
00:05:41I know him better now than I ever wanted to.
00:05:44He runs at six.
00:05:45I've memorized the particular weight of his footsteps on the stairs.
00:05:49Showers at 640.
00:05:51And the pipes in my bathroom sing a specific note when the water pressure changes.
00:05:56Tuesday.
00:05:57My shampoo mysteriously turned my hair traffic cone orange.
00:06:01Wednesday.
00:06:02Every single bra I own disappeared, reappearing frozen in blocks of ice in the freezer.
00:06:08Thursday.
00:06:09My laptop password changed itself to Daddy Issues 123.
00:06:13At 3.14 in the afternoon, I'm in the kitchen.
00:06:16He doesn't get home until 4.30 on Thursdays.
00:06:19I'm halfway through making the world's saddest sandwich when the front door opens an hour earlier than his schedule allows.
00:06:26My entire body goes on high alert.
00:06:28Skin prickling.
00:06:30Pulse jackknifing.
00:06:31Don't turn around.
00:06:32Don't give him the satisfaction.
00:06:35Careful.
00:06:36Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.
00:06:38His chest presses more firmly against my back as he reaches higher,
00:06:42and the contact sends electricity shooting down my spine, pooling low and hot in my belly.
00:06:47Something wrong, princess?
00:06:49I just wanted to grab my protein bar.
00:06:53That'll be Jade.
00:06:56Hmm.
00:06:58Try not to listen too hard, sis.
00:06:59Sis.
00:07:00The word is a weapon.
00:07:02A reminder.
00:07:03A fucking power play that makes me want to throw the knife at his head.
00:07:06They'll have a drink, and then she'll leave.
00:07:09That's how these things work.
00:07:11Hot water.
00:07:12Locked door.
00:07:13The white noise of falling water drowning out everything else.
00:07:16Except.
00:07:17Oh, God, Caleb!
00:07:19Jade's voice cuts through the wall like it's made of tissue paper.
00:07:23High and desperate and absolutely not faking it.
00:07:26Her moans build in pitch and urgency, and I hear the creak of bed springs.
00:07:30The thump of a headboard against a wall.
00:07:33Heat coils between my thighs, insistent and demanding.
00:07:36My body betrays me completely.
00:07:38Nipples tightening, breath coming shorter.
00:07:40And I hate myself for the way my hand drifts down my stomach.
00:07:44I've never touched myself like this before.
00:07:46What would it feel like?
00:07:48His hands instead of water.
00:07:49His weight pressing me against the tile.
00:07:52His voice in my ear, low and commanding.
00:07:55Take it.
00:07:57Take everything I give you.
00:07:59The pressure builds impossibly fast.
00:08:01My free hand bracing against the tile as my legs shake.
00:08:04When I come, it's violent.
00:08:06Earth shattering.
00:08:07The silence hits me first.
00:08:09No more sounds from his room.
00:08:11Nothing.
00:08:11Oh, God.
00:08:12Oh, fuck.
00:08:13Could they hear?
00:08:14I stumble toward the door, needing to confirm that barrier between my humiliation and reality.
00:08:20The door to his room is cracked open, but I checked it before I got in the shower.
00:08:23I'm certain I did.
00:08:25It was closed.
00:08:26Firmly, completely closed.
00:08:28My heart stops.
00:08:29Did he open it?
00:08:31Control is an illusion I've been selling myself for 18 years.
00:08:35This is who I am.
00:08:36The girl who prepares.
00:08:38The girl who controls what she can.
00:08:40The girl with the five-year plan.
00:08:42And the girl who definitely doesn't spend every waking moment thinking about her stepbrother's hands.
00:08:48Lies.
00:08:48All lies.
00:08:49Just once more.
00:08:50Then you'll study.
00:08:52Then you'll be normal.
00:08:53Having fun?
00:08:58Going somewhere?
00:09:01Let go of me!
00:09:03Sit the fuck down, Serena.
00:09:05Fuck you!
00:09:05You done?
00:09:09So, who's the lucky bastard?
00:09:11What?
00:09:12What are you talking about?
00:09:13Don't play dumb.
00:09:15It's not cute.
00:09:17You were clearly getting yourself off to someone.
00:09:19So, who is it?
00:09:20Some SAT tutor with a hard-on for the teacher's pets?
00:09:24One of those debate nerds who follows you around like you're made of cocaine?
00:09:28I wasn't.
00:09:29Your face is the color of a fucking tomato and your breathing's all fucked up.
00:09:34So, who's got perfect little Serena all worked up?
00:09:37Must be someone truly pathetic.
00:09:39Get out of my room!
00:09:40Is it that guy from Calc?
00:09:43The one with the glasses who stares at you when you're doing board work?
00:09:47No, wait.
00:09:48You'd never go for someone that obvious.
00:09:50Too desperate.
00:09:51I said get out!
00:09:52Or maybe someone inappropriate.
00:09:55Someone you know you shouldn't want.
00:09:58Serena, who are you thinking about?
00:10:01No one!
00:10:01I wasn't!
00:10:02I was just!
00:10:03It's none of your fucking business!
00:10:06You're lying.
00:10:07I can always tell when you're lying.
00:10:08Your voice goes up at the end.
00:10:09Your eyes dart to the left.
00:10:11And right now, you look fucking terrified.
00:10:13Which means whoever you were thinking about is someone you really don't want me to know about.
00:10:19You were thinking about me, weren't you?
00:10:21That's disgusting!
00:10:24Yeah?
00:10:25Then why is your pulse going crazy right here?
00:10:28Your body's a fucking traitor.
00:10:30You're insane!
00:10:31Then why can't you look at me?
00:10:34Why do you look like you're about to either cry or cum?
00:10:37Because you're in my face!
00:10:39What were you imagining?
00:10:40My hands on you?
00:10:42Inside you?
00:10:43My mouth on your neck?
00:10:45Or your legs?
00:10:49Were you imagining how I'd touch you?
00:10:51Hard and rough until you forget your own name.
00:10:54Or maybe slow and deep until you're begging me to let you cum.
00:10:58But here's the thing, princess.
00:11:00You're not even worth the effort it would take to undress you.
00:11:06You're fucking disgusting!
00:11:09You think I want any part of that?
00:11:12Fix yourself!
00:11:13You look like a cheap whore.
00:11:15Dinner's in ten.
00:11:17Try to act like a normal fucking person.
00:11:19I don't move for a long time.
00:11:22Can't move.
00:11:23My thigh still burns where he touched it.
00:11:25I stand there trying to breathe around the tightness in my chest.
00:11:29Six weeks of college.
00:11:31And I've learned that hope is just disappointment wearing a pretty dress.
00:11:34I had acceptances from everywhere.
00:11:37Places with actual seasons and zero Caleb Thorntons per square mile.
00:11:41But no.
00:11:42Dad pulled the family needs to stick together card.
00:11:45I think it's actually really nice that you and Caleb ended up here together.
00:11:49After everything, it just feels right.
00:11:52Yeah.
00:11:53Um, totally.
00:11:55Everyone's coming over soon.
00:11:56The picnic's about to start.
00:11:58The bastard had applied after me.
00:12:01After.
00:12:01Found out where I was going and followed like some kind of stalker.
00:12:05Even won grants and scholarships.
00:12:07Including the one from his high school presidency.
00:12:09My fresh start rotted before it even began.
00:12:12The picnic is about to start.
00:12:14I'm about to prepare a fruit plate when I hear this voice.
00:12:16That specific frequency of a woman's giggle that makes my eye twitch.
00:12:20Jade stands at the garden gate.
00:12:23Her hand threaded through Caleb's arm.
00:12:25Her sundress clings to curves I remember from the locker room.
00:12:28Curves I heard him worship in his bedroom.
00:12:30While my body betrayed every principle I claimed to hold.
00:12:34Oh, Caleb.
00:12:35You didn't mention you were bringing someone.
00:12:38Jade, sweetheart.
00:12:40Welcome.
00:12:41Thanks, Mrs. Lacken.
00:12:43Everything looks amazing.
00:12:45Did you make all this yourself?
00:12:47Most of it.
00:12:49Serena helped with the fruit platters.
00:12:51How domestic.
00:12:53Serena, so good at this stuff.
00:12:55The compliment lands like a slap wrapped in ribbons.
00:12:58This stuff.
00:12:59Like I'm some 1950s housewife in training while she's out here being decorative and touchable and everything I'm not.
00:13:05We're so proud of both of them.
00:13:07Adjusting to college life so beautifully.
00:13:12Serena's doing wonderfully.
00:13:13Dean's list material, her advisor says.
00:13:16Well, she has to excel at something.
00:13:19Competition's tough when you can't coast on personality.
00:13:22Some of us prefer substance over charm.
00:13:25Kids.
00:13:26Babe, you two are hilarious.
00:13:29It's like watching real siblings bicker.
00:13:32Real siblings.
00:13:33The words land like ice water down my spine.
00:13:36We end up on the same picnic blanket because the universe has a sick sense of humor.
00:13:40Jade chatters about rush week and themed parties and other things that would require me to have a soul.
00:13:45She doesn't know him.
00:13:47Doesn't know he checks the locks three times before bed.
00:13:50Doesn't know he still has nightmares about his father.
00:13:52Doesn't know he reads Bukowski when he thinks no one's watching.
00:13:56After the neighbors evacuate and our parents disappear inside with wine that'll make them nostalgic and weepy,
00:14:01I escape to the kitchen.
00:14:03Jade left an hour ago.
00:14:04Something about a sorority emergency that sounded suspiciously like,
00:14:08I'm bored and these people are old.
00:14:11Thought you'd hide in here all night.
00:14:14I'm cleaning up.
00:14:16Some of us contribute.
00:14:18Is that what you call sulking in corners and shooting death glares at my girlfriend?
00:14:22She's not your girlfriend.
00:14:23She's a prop.
00:14:25An accessory.
00:14:27This week's validation fix.
00:14:30Jealous much?
00:14:31I'd rather be jealous of a yeast infection.
00:14:34Strong words.
00:14:36You know what I think?
00:14:38I think you can't stand watching me with her.
00:14:40I think it eats you alive.
00:14:42You followed me here.
00:14:44You could have gone anywhere.
00:14:47But you chose here.
00:14:49Maybe I just like the school.
00:14:51Maybe you're so terrified of being alone with yourself that you need me around to torture.
00:14:56Watch your fucking mouth, princess.
00:14:59You know what?
00:14:59I feel sorry for you.
00:15:01I'm serious.
00:15:02I feel sorry for the boy whose father beat him and then abandoned him.
00:15:05The boy's so desperate for approval, he'll fuck girls who don't even know his middle name.
00:15:09Because it's easier than admitting no one's ever actually loved him for who he is.
00:15:16Jade doesn't see you, Caleb.
00:15:19None of them do.
00:15:20They see the smile and the body and the charm.
00:15:23Shut the fuck up!
00:15:24And that works for you because if they saw the real you,
00:15:28the broken, desperate, terrified little boy under all that armor, they'd run.
00:15:34I'm not jealous of Jade.
00:15:35I pity her.
00:15:37And I pity you.
00:15:38The rest of the dishes are all yours.
00:15:50The library smells like anxiety and desperation with hints of stale Red Bull.
00:15:54Basically the official cologne of higher education.
00:15:57Mia sits next to me, allegedly writing her sociology paper,
00:16:01but actually deep-stalking her TA's Instagram.
00:16:04I know because she keeps making these tiny gasping sounds
00:16:07every time she scrolls past a shirtless beach photo.
00:16:10Six weeks into freshman year, and Mia is the closest thing I've ever had to a real friend.
00:16:15In high school, I couldn't afford friends.
00:16:17He has a dog.
00:16:18A golden retriever named Pancake.
00:16:21Mia, focus.
00:16:23I am focused.
00:16:25Focused on how that man fills out a wetsuit.
00:16:30Ow, what?
00:16:32Look over there.
00:16:33Look, but don't make it obvious.
00:16:34Lucas, Mia, if this is another guy you think has protagonist energy...
00:16:38Serena, shut up and look!
00:16:40Lucas Bennett is walking toward us,
00:16:42and apparently puberty decided to work overtime on him.
00:16:46The last time I saw Lucas, he was Caleb's perpetual shadow.
00:16:49Always there, but never quite there.
00:16:51Is this seat taken?
00:16:55Serena Latkin.
00:16:57I thought that was you.
00:16:59How long has it been?
00:17:00A while, since high school, at least.
00:17:05Too long?
00:17:05I heard you were here.
00:17:07Pre-law, right?
00:17:08Of course you are.
00:17:09You were always terrifyingly smart.
00:17:14Pre-med for me.
00:17:17Turns out all those years of patching up lacrosse injuries gave me a taste for it.
00:17:22You patched up lacrosse injuries?
00:17:24I thought you were one of the ones causing them.
00:17:27Fair point.
00:17:28Maybe I was just atoning for my sins.
00:17:30We all have things we wish we'd done differently back then.
00:17:33I remember you from Honours English.
00:17:35You demolished everyone in that Fitzgerald debate.
00:17:38I was genuinely scared of you.
00:17:40Fear is an appropriate response to literary analysis.
00:17:45The cafe by the Humanities Building is acceptable.
00:17:49Everything else tastes like it was brewed during the Reagan administration.
00:17:52A coffee snob.
00:17:54I respect that.
00:17:56Strong opinions about beverages are a green flag.
00:17:59Would you look at the time I have that thing, the urgent thing, with the people, at the place?
00:18:08Serena, text me everything.
00:18:12So, are you going to the Halloween party next Friday?
00:18:16It's a big one at Sigma Chi.
00:18:18Everyone goes.
00:18:19Parties aren't really my thing.
00:18:21That's exactly why you should come.
00:18:23College is about new experiences, right?
00:18:26Breaking out of old patterns?
00:18:28Three tables away, I feel the weight of Caleb's gaze like fingertips trailing down my spine.
00:18:34His eyes are locked on me with an intensity that makes my stomach flip.
00:18:38Tell me more about this party.
00:18:40What exactly makes it so unmissable?
00:18:42It's legendary, honestly.
00:18:44The costumes get competitive.
00:18:45The music is actually decent.
00:18:47Plus, I hear the punch is strong enough to make even pre-law students have fun.
00:18:52Bold assumption that I don't already know how to have fun.
00:18:56Prove me wrong, then.
00:18:57Come to the party.
00:18:59Let me buy you a drink.
00:19:01You're very confident for someone who hasn't seen me in years.
00:19:05Some things are worth being confident about.
00:19:07I'll think about it.
00:19:08I'm looking at Caleb as he stands abruptly.
00:19:10He doesn't pack up his things.
00:19:12Doesn't grab the broken pen.
00:19:13Just turns and walks out.
00:19:15Movement sharp with barely controlled violence.
00:19:18And my pulse is racing for entirely the wrong reason.
00:19:22The cruelest lies are the ones we tell ourselves about what we want.
00:19:26He texted again while I was in the shower.
00:19:28Three messages in 20 minutes.
00:19:30He's sweet.
00:19:31Persistent in a way that feels like warmth instead of pressure.
00:19:34Normal in a way I've forgotten people can be.
00:19:37This is good.
00:19:38Lucas is good.
00:19:39Lucas is exactly what you need.
00:19:41Caleb without the emotional terrorism.
00:19:43This is what normal feels like.
00:19:45This is what I deserve.
00:19:46My eyes still on my phone.
00:19:48Still composing a reply that sounds flirty without trying too hard.
00:19:52Well, fuck me sideways.
00:19:54That's a face I've never seen before.
00:19:57Texting lover boy with that dopey-ass smile?
00:20:01Pathetic doesn't even begin to cover it, princess.
00:20:05What the fuck are you doing in my room?
00:20:06Get out!
00:20:08These are tragic, Serena truly, like, seek help levels of unsexy.
00:20:13I said get out!
00:20:16Are you wearing these to the party?
00:20:19Please say yes.
00:20:21I need to see Lucas' face when he discovers what's underneath.
00:20:26Give those back!
00:20:27Granny panties with fruit on them.
00:20:29Bold strategy for a girl trying to lose her B-card.
00:20:32I'm not trying to.
00:20:34Oh, you're definitely trying.
00:20:36That dumb smile you just walked in with?
00:20:39The sad little hair flip in the library?
00:20:42Touching his arm like you learned flirting from a WikiHow article?
00:20:45Get off my bed!
00:20:47Lucas Bennett.
00:20:48That's your big play?
00:20:50You really think that golden retroboi is interested in you?
00:20:53Unlike some people, Lucas is actually capable of basic human decency.
00:20:58Lucas is capable of fucking anything with a pulse, sure.
00:21:02But interested?
00:21:03Serena, sweetheart, look at yourself.
00:21:07You used to be friends with him.
00:21:09What happened?
00:21:10People grow apart.
00:21:12It happens.
00:21:13That's not an answer.
00:21:15It's the only one you're getting.
00:21:18Ancient history isn't really my thing.
00:21:20But we're not talking about me.
00:21:22We're talking about you, and you're going to show up in some tragic little costume
00:21:26and follow him around all night like a stray dog.
00:21:30And he's going to ditch you the second someone hotter walks by.
00:21:33You don't know anything about...
00:21:35I know you.
00:21:3619 years old and never been fucked.
00:21:38You think that's an accident?
00:21:40You think guys just haven't noticed you?
00:21:42They've noticed.
00:21:44They're just not interested.
00:21:46There's nothing there to want.
00:21:48Lucas asked me.
00:21:50Not the other way around.
00:21:52Lucas is working an angle.
00:21:54Probably a bet with his frat brothers.
00:21:56Go ahead.
00:21:57Prove them right.
00:21:59Make a fool of yourself in front of the whole school.
00:22:01I'd rather humiliate myself in front of everyone than spend another second with you.
00:22:05Then we're both getting what we want.
00:22:07Wear the ugly underwear.
00:22:09It'll match the rest of you.
00:22:13The door clicks shut behind him, and I don't move for a long time.
00:22:16My fingers find the strawberry underwear crumpled on the carpet,
00:22:19and I clutch them against my chest like armor.
00:22:22The cotton is warm from his hands, and I despise that I notice.
00:22:26What was that look?
00:22:27Right before he left, his expression shifted into territory I didn't recognize.
00:22:32Not cruel.
00:22:33Not mocking.
00:22:34Almost desperate.
00:22:36Get out of my head, Thornton.
00:22:37Get out.
00:22:38I look at myself in the mirror.
00:22:40The black bodysuit clings to curves I usually hide beneath hoodies and oversized sweaters.
00:22:45Holy fuck, Serena Lackham.
00:22:48Where have you been hiding that body?
00:22:50Lucas is going to swallow his own tongue when he sees you.
00:22:53Hell, I might switch teams.
00:22:55What if he doesn't like me?
00:22:57Oh, he'll like you.
00:22:59That boy has been eye-fucking you through every study session.
00:23:03And maybe tonight, he finally gets to do it for real.
00:23:08Okay.
00:23:10Let's go before I change my mind.
00:23:12The party is chaos incarnate.
00:23:14Music pounds through the walls, bass so heavy the floor vibrates beneath my heels.
00:23:19Stay close!
00:23:20Lucas said he'd be wearing a skeleton mask.
00:23:23Great.
00:23:24Super helpful.
00:23:25I've already counted four skeleton masks in my immediate vicinity.
00:23:29Mia's sorority sisters descend like perfectly coordinated vultures, dragging her towards something called the situation on the dance floor.
00:23:36I park myself near the makeshift bar, draining my cup.
00:23:40The alcohol burns away the edges of my anxiety, making everything softer, warmer, more possible.
00:23:46That's when I see him.
00:23:49Lucas.
00:23:50Lucas.
00:23:50Tall frame and broad shoulders I recognize.
00:23:52White mask tilted toward me from across the room.
00:23:55My pulse quickens and I tell myself it's the alcohol.
00:23:58He doesn't wave or call out.
00:24:00He simply extends one hand in my direction, palm up, waiting.
00:24:04Probably wants to see if the pre-law princess is as frigid as everyone says.
00:24:08Fine.
00:24:09Let him see.
00:24:10Let him tell everyone afterward.
00:24:12At least I won't be untouched anymore.
00:24:14Won't be the pathetic virgin Caleb mocks at every opportunity.
00:24:17The silence feels intentional.
00:24:19Part of the costume, part of the game.
00:24:22Lucas?
00:24:22He doesn't answer.
00:24:24His hands find my waist instead, thumbs tracing slow circles against my hip bones, and I decide
00:24:30that silence is answer enough.
00:24:32Oh, we're really committing to the role.
00:24:34I don't want this to be special.
00:24:36I don't want tender words or meaningful glances.
00:24:39I just want it done.
00:24:41Lucas's hands are rougher than I expected, gripping my waist like he's afraid I'll disappear.
00:24:46Fuck.
00:24:47Okay.
00:24:47I kinda like aggressive Lucas.
00:24:50Can you at least lift the mask?
00:24:53I wanna kiss you.
00:24:55He pauses.
00:24:56Then slowly, he pushes the mask up just enough to expose his mouth.
00:25:01In the darkness, I can't make out features.
00:25:03Just the outline of lips that crash into mine with bruising force.
00:25:08God, who knew Lucas had this in him?
00:25:14His fingers finally slide between my thighs.
00:25:17When he pushes finger inside me without warning, I nearly come off the bed.
00:25:21The stretch burns, but the pleasure overwhelms it, especially when his thumb finds my clit and
00:25:26circles with practiced precision.
00:25:28My mind drifts as sensation builds.
00:25:31What if it was him?
00:25:32I imagine Caleb's hands instead of Lucas's.
00:25:35Caleb's body pressing me into the mattress.
00:25:38Caleb's breath hot against my throat.
00:25:40The fantasy builds pressure low in my belly, spiraling toward a release that hovers just out
00:25:45of reach.
00:25:46My fingers dig into shoulders that belong to one man, while my mind belongs entirely to
00:25:51another.
00:25:51My orgasm hits like a freight train, completely unexpected.
00:25:56It's over.
00:25:57It's done.
00:25:57You're not a virgin anymore.
00:26:01The girl in the mirror looks exactly as hollow as I feel.
00:26:04Congratulations, Serena.
00:26:06You're officially as pathetic as Caleb always said.
00:26:08When I finally emerge, I nearly collide with a familiar chest.
00:26:12There you are.
00:26:14I've been looking everywhere for you.
00:26:17Some dickhead in the same mask spilled his entire drink on me.
00:26:21Had to go change.
00:26:22Did you just get here?
00:26:24You look amazing, by the way.
00:26:26The floor tilts beneath me.
00:26:28He's been down here looking for me, which means the man in that bedroom.
00:26:32That wasn't Lucas at all.
00:26:35I call her Princess because that's what she is.
00:26:38A girl who's never had to fight for anything.
00:26:40And I've been crawling and fighting my whole fucking life.
00:26:45The ceiling above my bed holds no answers, but I stare at it anyway, counting the minutes
00:26:50by the soft sounds filtering through the bathroom wall.
00:26:53A drawer opening, water running, the whisper of fabric against skin.
00:26:59You're sick, twisted beyond repair.
00:27:01I remember the first time I called her Princess.
00:27:04We were 12.
00:27:05She tried to skip a stone, failed spectacularly.
00:27:09Her laugh bounced across the water.
00:27:11This mix of embarrassment and joy that hit me right in the chest.
00:27:15You're doing it wrong.
00:27:17Here.
00:27:18Like this.
00:27:20See?
00:27:21Perfect technique for a perfect princess.
00:27:24Thanks, Caleb.
00:27:25Two words.
00:27:26That's all it took.
00:27:28I was done for.
00:27:29Then I went home.
00:27:31That was the summer my father discovered new hobbies.
00:27:34I learned to sleep with my eyes half open, to flinch at footsteps, to disappear into walls.
00:27:40And suddenly, Serena's perfection stopped being something beautiful.
00:27:44It became a mirror.
00:27:45If her life is so perfect, let me be the one in perfection.
00:27:54I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her until she broke, until she screamed.
00:28:00And I wanted to hold her until she felt safe enough to fall apart.
00:28:04Pick a lane, arsehole.
00:28:06You can't destroy someone and save them at the same time.
00:28:09Because Serena isn't just in my head.
00:28:11She's carved into my bones.
00:28:13My phone buzzes on the nightstand.
00:28:16The racing circuit.
00:28:17The debt follows me like a second shadow.
00:28:20My father's legacy.
00:28:22I wonder how much longer I can keep buried the obsession that drives me to follow her.
00:28:26Like a satellite caught in her gravitational pull.
00:28:30I've been choking on jealousy for the past 20 minutes.
00:28:33It was just one of those moments, you know?
00:28:39Look at me like that.
00:28:40Just once.
00:28:41But she never will.
00:28:44You have the most beautiful smile.
00:28:46Lucas leans in closer, whispering something that makes her cheeks go pink.
00:28:50And I'm gripping my hands so hard my knuckles turn white.
00:28:54She doesn't pull away.
00:28:55Doesn't stiffen.
00:28:56Just tilts her head and listens like he's reciting fucking Shakespeare.
00:29:00I want to be at his place.
00:29:01I shove back from the table and walk out before I do something I can't take back.
00:29:06I try the gym first.
00:29:0845 minutes of punishing my muscles until they scream.
00:29:12But every time I close my eyes between sets, I see her hand on his arm.
00:29:16Her smile.
00:29:17The way she leaned toward him like he was magnetic north.
00:29:20I last three hours.
00:29:22Three hours of telling myself I don't care who she talks to.
00:29:25But my feet carry me down the hallway.
00:29:27Her bedroom door is unlocked.
00:29:29The shower runs in the bathroom and I should leave.
00:29:32She left her underwear on the bed.
00:29:34Tiny strawberries printed across the fabric like some kind of joke.
00:29:38A laugh builded in my chest.
00:29:39But it dies before it reaches my throat.
00:29:42The water shuts off.
00:29:44The door opens.
00:29:45And...
00:29:46Jesus fucking Christ.
00:29:48She was wearing nothing but a towel that's trying its best but failing spectacularly.
00:29:53Water drops race down her collarbone.
00:29:55Her hair is plastered to her shoulders.
00:29:58Darker with moisture.
00:29:59And the way that terrycloth clings to every curve she usually hides under hoodies makes my brain short circuit.
00:30:06This is what she's been keeping from me.
00:30:08She doesn't speak.
00:30:10Her body tells me everything.
00:30:11The way she arches into my touch.
00:30:13The way her breath hitches when my thumb brushes her.
00:30:17She moves against me with increasing desperation.
00:30:20Her fingers in my chest.
00:30:22And she lowers her mouth to me.
00:30:23Her fingers find my shoulders when she climbs onto my lap.
00:30:26Straddling me.
00:30:27And the towel rides up her thighs.
00:30:29Through my jeans I can feel the heat of her.
00:30:32And my hands find her waist like they've been waiting their whole existence for this moment.
00:30:38I wake up so hard it hurts.
00:30:40Her phantom warmth still pressed against my skin.
00:30:43Pathetic.
00:30:45You're absolutely pathetic.
00:30:46She moves against me with increasing desperation.
00:30:50Her fingers in my chest.
00:30:51And she lowers her mouth to me.
00:30:53Her phone sits on the counter.
00:30:55Screen glowing with an unread message.
00:30:57I should walk away.
00:30:58But I've never been decent where Serena is concerned.
00:31:01The screen illuminates at my touch.
00:31:02And my ex-best friend's name stares back at me.
00:31:05Lucas.
00:31:06My blood turns to lead in my veins.
00:31:09The racing circuit.
00:31:10Lucas is taking her to the fucking racing circuit.
00:31:13Where I'll be competing to pay off another installment of my father's debt.
00:31:17Fuck.
00:31:18My two worlds are about to collide.
00:31:19And there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it.
00:31:25Three more races after tonight.
00:31:27And you're clear, kid.
00:31:29How does that feel?
00:31:31Like I might actually sleep again.
00:31:33Two years since I stood in our kitchen watching my mother cry over bills my father left behind.
00:31:38When the helmet goes on, I'm supposed to stop being Caleb Thornton.
00:31:42Out here, I'm Shane Lander.
00:31:4423.
00:31:45No family drama.
00:31:46Just a guy who rides fast and pays his debts on time.
00:31:50You've earned it, man.
00:31:53Fastest rider I've ever let borrow my name.
00:31:56The engine beneath me roars to life.
00:31:58Vibrating through my thighs.
00:32:00My chest.
00:32:01My teeth.
00:32:02Despite everything, freedom floods through my veins.
00:32:05This is the part I'll miss when the debt clears.
00:32:08Exhaust fumes curl through the night air.
00:32:10That's when I see them.
00:32:12No.
00:32:12Serena and Lucas.
00:32:14Walking through the crowd like tourists in a war zone.
00:32:17I'll be right there with you.
00:32:18His arm draped over her shoulders with that casual ownership that makes me want to put my fist through his
00:32:23perfect teeth.
00:32:24She really agreed to come here with him.
00:32:26She really came here.
00:32:28To this oil-stained hellscape and men with criminal records.
00:32:31Just focused.
00:32:33The starting signal flares red, then green.
00:32:36First lap, I'm in the lead.
00:32:38But she doesn't leave my thoughts.
00:32:40What the fuck is Lucas thinking?
00:32:42She looks wrong here.
00:32:43Too clean.
00:32:44Too bright.
00:32:44Like someone photoshopped an angel into a meth lamp.
00:32:47I risk a glance at the crowd.
00:32:49Mistake.
00:32:50Huge fucking mistake.
00:32:52Our eyes meet over Lucas' shoulder for a second.
00:32:55She knows it's me.
00:32:56The curve comes too fast.
00:32:58One second I'm flying.
00:32:59The next, the bike slides out from under me like the ground itself has betrayed me.
00:33:04Gravel bites into my shoulder blade where the jacket rode up.
00:33:07The sky spins above me in lazy circles.
00:33:10Stars smearing into floodlights into darkness.
00:33:13You're an absolute idiot!
00:33:15What the hell were you thinking?
00:33:17I try to answer, but my lungs have decided breathing is optional.
00:33:21Each inhale feels like swallowing fiberglass.
00:33:24Someone call 911!
00:33:26Immediately!
00:33:27No ambulances, girl.
00:33:30We can't let the police search here.
00:33:32He could be bleeding internally!
00:33:34Look at him!
00:33:36I can handle this.
00:33:38We have people who can help.
00:33:40I don't give a fuck about your people!
00:33:42Serena, maybe we should...
00:33:45Shut up!
00:33:46Just shut up and let me think!
00:33:48I gasp and pain floods through me.
00:33:51Sharp and clarifying.
00:33:52Radiating from my ribs to my spine.
00:33:55Caleb, here you go.
00:33:57Stay with me.
00:33:58Just stay with me, okay?
00:34:00Worth it.
00:34:01I think as darkness creeps in at the edges.
00:34:03Totally fucking worth it to see her look at me that.
00:34:08Have you ever hated someone so much that watching them bleed feels like bleeding yourself?
00:34:13The fluorescent lights of the emergency room buzz overhead, casting everything in a pallid glow.
00:34:19Nurses move around Caleb, checking vitals, cleaning wounds.
00:34:23I agreed to come tonight because Lucas asked, and because some reckless part of me wanted to prove I could
00:34:29be spontaneous.
00:34:30Then the race started, and my eyes found one rider without conscious thought.
00:34:35The angle of his shoulders.
00:34:37The aggressive grace of his turns.
00:34:40I knew it was Caleb before I could name why.
00:34:42Come on, Serena.
00:34:44Let's go.
00:34:45We can still salvage the night.
00:34:46No.
00:34:47I'll take him home.
00:34:48You go.
00:34:49I watch him disappear through the automatic doors, and feel nothing.
00:34:53The only thing occupying my mind is the boy bleeding in the room behind me.
00:34:58Six years of cruelty, being called princess like a slur, and yet here I sit in this taxi,
00:35:05watching streetlights strobe across his damaged face, aching with a tenderness that has survived every wound he's ever inflicted.
00:35:12Inside, I flip on the kitchen lights and notice the dark stain spreading across his back, fresh blood seeping through
00:35:20ruined fabric.
00:35:21You're bleeding again.
00:35:24Sit down.
00:35:26The wound is on your shoulder blade.
00:35:29Unless you've developed the ability to desallocate your arms, you can't reach it?
00:35:35Sit.
00:35:37Down.
00:35:41Let me.
00:35:42His back is a masterpiece of destruction.
00:35:45My hands shake as I clean the wounds.
00:35:48Why do you race?
00:35:49You can't even drive.
00:35:51I can drive fine.
00:35:52I was distracted.
00:35:54Don't move.
00:35:56I know how to pay attention.
00:36:01Speaking of attention, you look cozy with Bennett tonight.
00:36:05We're not talking about Lucas.
00:36:07No?
00:36:09Maybe we should.
00:36:11Did he buy you dinner first?
00:36:14If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous.
00:36:18You think this is funny?
00:36:20Finish the damn sentence, Caleb!
00:36:23You're playing with fire, Serena.
00:36:25Good.
00:36:27Maybe Lucas will help me put it out after.
00:36:31Keep talking.
00:36:33See what happens.
00:36:35Lucas wanted to take me home tonight.
00:36:38After the race.
00:36:39He'd be nice, you know?
00:36:41Careful.
00:36:43Everything you're not.
00:36:45Want to know why I crashed?
00:36:49I saw his hands on you.
00:36:53And forgot there was a fucking road.
00:36:56So you're jealous?
00:36:58Don't sound so fucking pleased about it.
00:37:00You have no right to be jealous.
00:37:02Not after everything.
00:37:04I know.
00:37:07Because you were the only beautiful thing I'd ever touched.
00:37:11And I only know how to break beautiful things.
00:37:22Caleb.
00:37:26This is insane.
00:37:29I know.
00:37:31I don't care.
00:37:32Her breath catching.
00:37:33This is where she belongs.
00:37:35In my hands.
00:37:36Under my mouth.
00:37:37Mine.
00:37:38If you want me to stop, say it now.
00:37:40I don't know.
00:37:41But we can't just...
00:37:43Dear you.
00:37:44I should want you to stop.
00:37:46I should hate this.
00:37:49Serena.
00:37:51I've been aroused by you since I was 15.
00:37:53You can read the phone book, but...
00:37:56I need a cold shower.
00:37:58You have no idea what you do to me.
00:38:00Then show me.
00:38:02Stop talking and show me.
00:38:03So I do.
00:38:04The bra is white lace.
00:38:06Simple.
00:38:07Devastating.
00:38:08Not strawberry lingerie.
00:38:12I also have regular underwear, idiot.
00:38:15Thank God.
00:38:17Her breathing has gone shallow.
00:38:19Chest rising and falling rapidly.
00:38:21Sensitive?
00:38:24I don't...
00:38:25Every instinct screams at me to take, to claim, to devour.
00:38:29Yet this is Serena.
00:38:31The girl I've destroyed for six years.
00:38:33But I can't stop.
00:38:34So eager for it, aren't you?
00:38:36Who would have thought that a princess could be so lustful?
00:38:40She goes rigid.
00:38:41Fuck.
00:38:42The word princess hangs between us like a blade.
00:38:45Sharp with six years of history.
00:38:48Six years of using that word to hurt her.
00:38:51To belittle her.
00:38:52To make her feel small.
00:38:54Serena, I didn't mean...
00:38:56Don't.
00:38:57Just.
00:38:59Don't.
00:39:00It slipped out.
00:39:01Force of habit.
00:39:02I wasn't...
00:39:03I can't.
00:39:05I can't do this.
00:39:07Serena, please.
00:39:08Just wait.
00:39:10I can't look at you now.
00:39:12I can't be near you.
00:39:13Just let me explain.
00:39:16Explain what?
00:39:17That you've hated me for six years,
00:39:19and now you expect me to believe this is real?
00:39:22This is real.
00:39:24This is the only real feeling I've ever felt.
00:39:26Then why?
00:39:27Why did you try to destroy me?
00:39:34One word.
00:39:35One fucking word.
00:39:37And I destroyed everything.
00:39:39His mouth tasted like copper and recklessness,
00:39:42and I'm drowning in both.
00:39:44This was what I've been missing.
00:39:46This heat.
00:39:47This hunger.
00:39:48This feeling of being wanted so desperately.
00:39:51Princess.
00:39:52And my body went rigid,
00:39:54not from pleasure,
00:39:56from the avalanche of everything he's ever done to me,
00:39:59crashing through the walls I'd foolishly let him breach.
00:40:02Every insult lands fresh.
00:40:05Serena?
00:40:06Six years of systematic destruction
00:40:08flood back in a single devastating wave.
00:40:11I don't remember mounting the bike.
00:40:13I don't register the roads I take,
00:40:15the turns I make,
00:40:17the darkness swallowing everything
00:40:18beyond my headlights' weak beam.
00:40:21Muscle memory guides me through streets
00:40:23I've traveled a thousand times before.
00:40:25Our spot.
00:40:26Mine and hers.
00:40:27I cry for her.
00:40:29For the mother who should be here.
00:40:30Who should be the one I run to
00:40:32when boys break me open.
00:40:33I cry for the woman I'm becoming.
00:40:35The truth surfaces between sobs.
00:40:38Ugly and undeniable.
00:40:39And impossible to shove back down where it belongs.
00:40:42I want Caleb Thornton.
00:40:44His hands.
00:40:45His mouth.
00:40:46The desperate way he looked at me
00:40:48before I ran away.
00:40:49The admission settles into my chest
00:40:51with the weight of inevitability.
00:40:54I want him.
00:40:55God help me.
00:40:56I want him.
00:40:57And that's exactly why I can't have him.
00:41:01Serena Lakin doesn't crumble for anyone.
00:41:03Least of all the boy who tried hardest to break her.
00:41:07The neighborhood is tomb silent
00:41:09when I finally coast into our driveway.
00:41:12Legs burning from pedaling through streets.
00:41:14I barely remember traveling.
00:41:16Both cars sit in their usual spots.
00:41:19Dark and silent like sleeping sentinels.
00:41:22Parents came home while I was falling apart by a lake.
00:41:25And my father had no idea his daughter spent the evening
00:41:28kissing her stepbrother in their kitchen.
00:41:30The stairs creak once beneath my weight.
00:41:33And I freeze.
00:41:34Heart slamming against my ribs.
00:41:36But no bedroom doors open.
00:41:38No concerned voices call out into the darkness.
00:41:41Sleep doesn't come.
00:41:42I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.
00:41:45Tracing patterns in the shadows
00:41:47that shift each time a car passes on the street below.
00:41:50His hands ghost across my skin
00:41:52in phantom touches I can't shake.
00:41:54The weight of his body between my thighs.
00:41:57The desperate sound of my name in his mouth.
00:41:59Because you were the only beautiful thing I'd ever touched.
00:42:03The confession plays on loop.
00:42:05Wearing grooves into my brain
00:42:07until I can't tell if I'm remembering or inventing.
00:42:10Did he really say that?
00:42:11Did his voice really crack on the words
00:42:13like something inside him was breaking?
00:42:16I pull my pillow over my face and scream into it.
00:42:19Morning arrives with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
00:42:22I spend 20 minutes rebuilding my face
00:42:24into something presentable.
00:42:26Each brush stroke feels like armor.
00:42:28Layer after layer of pigment
00:42:30between the world and my devastation.
00:42:33You're fine.
00:42:34You're completely fine.
00:42:35My legs feel like they belong to someone else
00:42:38as I descend the stairs.
00:42:39Caleb is already at the breakfast table.
00:42:42His head lifts when I enter.
00:42:44Everything from last night crashes back.
00:42:47His mouth, his hands, his confession, my retreat.
00:42:50I look away first.
00:42:52The coffee pot becomes my entire focus
00:42:54as I pour with hands that refuse to steady.
00:42:59Good morning, sweetheart.
00:43:01You look tired.
00:43:02Late night studying.
00:43:03Something like that.
00:43:05I have some wonderful news.
00:43:07I ran into Richard Bennett at the club yesterday,
00:43:11and he mentioned that Lucas has been spending
00:43:16quite a bit of time with you lately.
00:43:18I have to say I was delighted to hear it.
00:43:21Lucas seems like a wonderful young man.
00:43:24Richard and Patricia raised him well.
00:43:27Lucas is nice.
00:43:30More than nice, apparently.
00:43:32Richard seemed to think things were progressing
00:43:34rather well between you two.
00:43:36And I must say, I wholeheartedly approve.
00:43:40The Bennetts are good people, Serena.
00:43:43Solid values, excellent future prospects.
00:43:47The kind of foundation any father would want for his daughter.
00:43:51Nothing's progressing.
00:43:54We're just friends, Dad.
00:43:58For now.
00:44:00I'm just so glad you're spending time with the right people.
00:44:04Quality connections are important, honey.
00:44:08I have somewhere to be.
00:44:15Well, I wonder what's gotten into him this morning.
00:44:19Young men, probably some athletic commitment
00:44:23he forgot about until now.
00:44:28My phone buzzes against my thigh.
00:44:31The screen illuminates with Lucas's name,
00:44:33and I almost laugh at the cosmic timing of it all.
00:44:36The universe has a sick sense of humor.
00:44:39I should say no.
00:44:40I should create distance from everything.
00:44:43Lucas, Caleb,
00:44:44the entire tangled mess I've made
00:44:46of my carefully ordered existence.
00:44:49Getting closer to Lucas
00:44:50means watching Caleb's face harden
00:44:52every time we're in the same room.
00:44:54My thumbs hover over the keyboard
00:44:56for a long moment.
00:44:58Me.
00:44:58Sure, because maybe normal
00:45:00is exactly what I need right now.
00:45:03Drowning looks different
00:45:05when you're doing it on dry land.
00:45:07Here's what I'm currently juggling.
00:45:09A faceless stranger
00:45:10who took my virginity
00:45:11and vanished into a sea
00:45:13of identical skeleton masks.
00:45:15A stepbrother whose mouth
00:45:17I can still taste
00:45:18when I close my eyes,
00:45:19no matter how many times
00:45:20I brush my teeth
00:45:21or child in coffee.
00:45:23The library has become my bunker,
00:45:26my fortress,
00:45:27my carefully constructed excuse
00:45:29to avoid every space
00:45:31where Caleb might appear.
00:45:32The complicated part
00:45:34that keeps me awake at night,
00:45:35I don't entirely regret it.
00:45:37You look like someone
00:45:38ran over your cat,
00:45:39resurrected it,
00:45:41and ran it over again.
00:45:42Thanks for that vivid imagery.
00:45:44Really appreciate the poetry
00:45:46you've blessed me with today.
00:45:48I'm being serious right now, Serena.
00:45:50You've been weird for days
00:45:52and don't think I haven't noticed
00:45:53every single red flag you're waving.
00:45:56That's complete bullshit
00:45:57and you know it.
00:45:59You maintain your GPA in your sleep.
00:46:01Is this about the mystery guy
00:46:03from the race?
00:46:04Did something happen that night?
00:46:06I don't know what
00:46:07you're talking about, Mia.
00:46:09Oh, come on.
00:46:09Don't insult my intelligence.
00:46:11I saw your face that Monday.
00:46:14Even if something did happen,
00:46:15I wouldn't know how to explain it
00:46:16without sounding completely unhinged.
00:46:18Some things are too tangled
00:46:20to put into words.
00:46:21Try me.
00:46:22I've heard worse things
00:46:23than you can possibly imagine.
00:46:25My older sister once confessed
00:46:26to sleeping with her professor
00:46:28and I kept that secret
00:46:30through two Thanksgivings
00:46:31and a family reunion.
00:46:32It's complicated.
00:46:33Complicated usually means interesting
00:46:35in my experience.
00:46:37The messiest situations
00:46:39always make the best stories afterward.
00:46:41This isn't a story
00:46:42I want to tell anyone ever.
00:46:44This is a disaster.
00:46:46Fine.
00:46:47I won't push you today.
00:46:48But I'm here when you're ready
00:46:50to spill everything.
00:47:00He took this while he was inside me.
00:47:03While I kept my eyes shut.
00:47:05Every tall frame,
00:47:06every athletic build
00:47:07makes me wonder
00:47:09with nauseating intensity.
00:47:10Was it you?
00:47:14You look incredible tonight.
00:47:16That blouse is perfect on you.
00:47:19Thank you for bringing me here.
00:47:20It's beautiful.
00:47:22Only the best for you, Serena.
00:47:25The words should make
00:47:26my heart flutter.
00:47:27But my mind keeps drifting
00:47:28to that photo on my phone.
00:47:30Who took it?
00:47:31What do they want from me?
00:47:33Is this blackmail waiting to detonate?
00:47:35Or a warning shot across my bow?
00:47:37The professor sounds like
00:47:38some kind of weirdo.
00:47:40Did he actually throw chalk
00:47:41at that guy?
00:47:42Allegedly.
00:47:44The kid deserved it, though.
00:47:46Remind me never to fall asleep
00:47:47in your classes.
00:47:49Serena?
00:47:50You seem really distracted tonight.
00:47:54Sorry.
00:47:56Just school stress weighing on me.
00:47:58Anything I could help with?
00:47:59Can you tell me why my stepbrother
00:48:01makes me feel more alive in fury
00:48:04than you do in kindness?
00:48:06No.
00:48:07But thank you for asking.
00:48:14I had a really great time tonight.
00:48:16Me too.
00:48:23You should go, Bennett.
00:48:25Now.
00:48:26I was just saying goodnight
00:48:27to Serena, man.
00:48:28And now you're leaving.
00:48:31Immediately.
00:48:33Okay.
00:48:33I'll call you tomorrow, Serena.
00:48:34Goodnight.
00:48:40This roast chicken is truly excellent.
00:48:43Yes.
00:48:44It goes perfectly with the wine.
00:48:46The hospital charity gala
00:48:47is next weekend.
00:48:48I was thinking Serena should attend.
00:48:50Wonderful idea.
00:48:52The Bennets will be there, too.
00:48:54Lucas could introduce you
00:48:55to some partners
00:48:56at his father's firm.
00:48:58Networking is so important
00:49:00at your age.
00:49:01Perfect opportunity
00:49:01to wear that lovely dress
00:49:03we bought last month.
00:49:04Of course.
00:49:06Sure.
00:49:07I'll go with Lucas.
00:49:09May I be excused
00:49:10at an early morning?
00:49:12Of course, sweetheart.
00:49:13Is everything all right?
00:49:15Okay.
00:49:15Everything is perfect.
00:49:20Sorry, I...
00:49:21Well,
00:49:23young people
00:49:24and their moods, I guess.
00:49:26He's probably just tired
00:49:27from training.
00:49:28The season is demanding.
00:49:30When did this happen?
00:49:31When did Caleb Thornton's opinion
00:49:33start mattering more
00:49:34than my own piece?
00:49:43We need to talk.
00:49:45Fascinating opener.
00:49:46The answer's still no.
00:49:48Get out!
00:49:49Lucas isn't what he seems.
00:49:52You need to stay away from him.
00:49:53Oh, this is rich.
00:49:55You're giving me
00:49:56relationship advice now?
00:49:57You, of all people?
00:49:59This isn't about us, Serena.
00:50:01This is about him.
00:50:03There is no us, Caleb.
00:50:04There's you,
00:50:05trespassing in my room,
00:50:06running your mouth
00:50:07about things
00:50:07that don't concern you.
00:50:11You kissed him tonight.
00:50:13I did a lot of things tonight.
00:50:15Breathing,
00:50:16blinking,
00:50:16walking upright.
00:50:18Should I run those by you too
00:50:19or just the ones
00:50:20involving other men's mouths?
00:50:21On our doorstep.
00:50:23Ten feet from where I was standing.
00:50:25Proximity bothers you now?
00:50:28That's new.
00:50:29You've never had trouble
00:50:31performing with an audience before.
00:50:32Careful, Serena.
00:50:34Or what?
00:50:35You'll make my life miserable?
00:50:37Breaking news.
00:50:38You've been doing that
00:50:39since middle school.
00:50:40I'm immune.
00:50:41You're not immune to anything.
00:50:43Your pulse is jumping
00:50:44in your throat right now.
00:50:47I can see it from here.
00:50:49That's called hatred, Caleb.
00:50:50Search it.
00:50:51Hatred doesn't make
00:50:52your pupils dilate.
00:50:54Hatred doesn't make you breathe
00:50:56like you've been running.
00:50:57Maybe I'm allergic to bullshit.
00:50:59You're certainly
00:51:00giving off enough of it.
00:51:01Then why haven't you
00:51:02screamed for daddy yet?
00:51:03I don't need my father
00:51:05to handle you.
00:51:06No?
00:51:06Then handle me yourself.
00:51:08Put your hands on my chest
00:51:10and shove me out that door.
00:51:17What's the holdup, princess?
00:51:18All that righteous anger
00:51:20and you can't even touch me
00:51:21long enough to push me away.
00:51:22Don't call me that.
00:51:24Touch me and I'll stop.
00:51:25You're terrified.
00:51:27Not of me.
00:51:29Of what happens
00:51:30when you stop pretending
00:51:31you don't want this.
00:51:32The only thing I want
00:51:34is for you to choke
00:51:35on your own ego.
00:51:36Liar.
00:51:37Your whole body's shaking.
00:51:39You're so wound up
00:51:41you can barely stand.
00:51:42You are delusional.
00:51:44Then prove it.
00:51:46Tell me to leave.
00:51:47Mean it.
00:51:48Why are you in my face again?
00:51:51What do you want from me?
00:52:02Come on, princess.
00:52:05Tell me how much
00:52:06you hate me now.
00:52:07I hate.
00:52:08I hate you.
00:52:09Again.
00:52:11Make me believe it this time.
00:52:15Calab.
00:52:18Every pathetic dream
00:52:20I've tortured myself with
00:52:21dissolves into nothing
00:52:23compared to the weight
00:52:24of her body
00:52:25pressed against mine.
00:52:26somehow we migrate
00:52:27to my room.
00:52:31You're shaking.
00:52:33No, I'm not.
00:52:40Caleb.
00:52:42Your hands are literally trembling.
00:52:44Shut up.
00:52:45I'm just saying.
00:52:47You want to analyze this?
00:52:49Write a thesis about
00:52:51my scizy logical responses?
00:52:54Or do you want me
00:52:55to make you forget
00:52:55how to form sentences?
00:52:57That's what I thought.
00:52:58I'm not a virgin anymore.
00:53:01That doesn't mean
00:53:02it won't hurt
00:53:03the second time.
00:53:04We don't have to do this.
00:53:06If you've changed
00:53:07your mind.
00:53:09I haven't changed
00:53:10my fucking mind.
00:53:12I just...
00:53:14I need you to be sure.
00:53:16Why?
00:53:17Because I'm not
00:53:18a complete bastard.
00:53:20despite popular opinion.
00:53:22Caleb, I want this.
00:53:23I want you.
00:53:27Tell me if it hurts.
00:53:29I mean it, Serena.
00:53:30One word and I stop.
00:53:35Your turn.
00:53:36Slow down.
00:53:38You've been telling me
00:53:39to shut up
00:53:39and take what I want
00:53:40for years.
00:53:42Now you want me
00:53:43to be patient?
00:53:44Now I want to take
00:53:45my time.
00:53:46I want to learn
00:53:47every inch of you.
00:53:49I want to hear
00:53:50every sound you make.
00:53:52I want to remember this
00:53:53when I'm old and broken
00:53:54and you've moved on
00:53:55to someone who deserves you.
00:53:56Caleb,
00:53:57you're staring.
00:53:59Don't hide from me.
00:54:00Not now.
00:54:02It's embarrassing.
00:54:03You're perfect.
00:54:05You've always been perfect
00:54:06and I've hated you for it.
00:54:07Hated how much
00:54:08I wanted you.
00:54:09Hated that you made me
00:54:10feel things
00:54:10I couldn't control.
00:54:19Caleb,
00:54:19Caleb,
00:54:19what are you doing?
00:54:29Caleb.
00:54:30We go slow.
00:54:36I'll stop
00:54:37whenever you say.
00:54:42Caleb,
00:54:43please.
00:54:45Please what?
00:54:46I need you.
00:54:48Please,
00:54:49I need you
00:54:50inside me.
00:54:58Her taste,
00:54:59salt and sweetness
00:55:00as I drag my mouth
00:55:02down her throat.
00:55:03I've dreamed about this
00:55:05since my first
00:55:06fumbling experiences
00:55:07taught me what bodies
00:55:08could do together.
00:55:09Backseats of cars
00:55:11with girls
00:55:11whose names blurred
00:55:13by morning.
00:55:14Dorm rooms
00:55:14and parties
00:55:15and encounters
00:55:16that meant nothing
00:55:17beyond temporary release.
00:55:19None of them mattered
00:55:20because they weren't her.
00:55:23God!
00:55:23We're a family
00:55:24but we're real close
00:55:26This line we cross
00:55:28Nobody more
00:55:30Forbidden
00:55:31Don't pray,
00:55:33don't cry
00:55:35Just let me drown
00:55:36in your alibi
00:55:39What if we stop
00:55:40pretending?
00:55:43What if we just
00:55:44give in?
00:55:51The warmth pressed
00:55:52against my body
00:55:54Tangible and real
00:56:02How long have you
00:56:03been awake?
00:56:05A while
00:56:06You talk in your sleep
00:56:08you know that?
00:56:11Very entertaining
00:56:12Right,
00:56:14something about
00:56:14constitutional amendments
00:56:15and a certain
00:56:18Professor Henderson
00:56:19Oh God
00:56:21please tell me
00:56:22you're lying
00:56:22I liked it best
00:56:24when you muttered
00:56:24something about
00:56:24colored markers
00:56:26Very sexy
00:56:27bedtime talk
00:56:27Lincoln
00:56:31You're unbearable
00:56:32And yet you're here
00:56:35Still in my bed
00:56:37The morning is just
00:56:38beginning
00:56:39Give me time
00:56:41Take all the time
00:56:42you want
00:56:43I'm not going anywhere
00:56:49I should probably
00:56:50go get ready
00:56:52The gala is tonight
00:56:54and I need to
00:56:56A gala evening?
00:56:57Yes, the charity
00:56:58event our parents
00:56:59have been discussing
00:57:00for weeks
00:57:00Catherine mentioned it
00:57:02at dinner last night
00:57:02remember?
00:57:03The hospital
00:57:04foundation thing
00:57:05The whole point
00:57:06of last night
00:57:07was that you
00:57:08don't go with him
00:57:09Last night
00:57:10had no point
00:57:11Last night
00:57:11was a mistake
00:57:12A mistake
00:57:14That's what
00:57:14you're calling it?
00:57:15What else
00:57:16would I possibly
00:57:16call it, Caleb?
00:57:18You were screaming
00:57:19my name four hours ago
00:57:19and now it's a mistake?
00:57:21I'll wear your voice
00:57:22before someone hears
00:57:22You let Lucas
00:57:27kiss you
00:57:28on our doorstep
00:57:28You're going
00:57:30to this gala
00:57:30on his arm tonight
00:57:33Parading around
00:57:34like nothing
00:57:34happened between us
00:57:35And?
00:57:37What happens
00:57:37in my life
00:57:38is none
00:57:39of your concern
00:57:40And I'm supposed
00:57:41to be fine
00:57:41with that?
00:57:43After everything
00:57:44that happened
00:57:44between us
00:57:45last night?
00:57:45You don't get
00:57:46to be anything
00:57:47about my choices
00:57:50This doesn't
00:57:50give you rights
00:57:51over me
00:57:52Then
00:57:54what the hell
00:57:55does it give me
00:57:56Serena?
00:57:57I need to go
00:57:58Step away
00:58:04You're really
00:58:04going to pretend
00:58:05this means nothing?
00:58:06I'm not pretending
00:58:08anything
00:58:10Liar
00:58:11I know what you felt
00:58:14Let me go
00:58:15Caleb
00:58:15I can't watch
00:58:17you with him
00:58:19I can't watch
00:58:20him touch you
00:58:21knowing what we
00:58:22knowing how you
00:58:24But before I can
00:58:25respond
00:58:26his slam
00:58:26on the closet
00:58:27makes us both
00:58:28look at the carpet
00:58:29and my whole world
00:58:30turns upside down
00:58:34I can explain
00:58:39Serena
00:58:40please
00:58:40just let me
00:58:42explain what
00:58:42happened
00:58:42You
00:58:43It was you
00:58:45Yes
00:58:46but it's not
00:58:48yoked
00:58:48You took my
00:58:49virginity
00:58:50You knew
00:58:51exactly who I was
00:58:52and you let me
00:58:54think I was
00:58:54with someone else
00:58:55I didn't plan it
00:58:56I saw you
00:58:57with Lucas
00:58:57followed because
00:58:58I was jealous
00:58:59and then you
00:58:59took my hand
00:59:00and you just
00:59:01went along
00:59:01with it
00:59:02You let me
00:59:03believe I was
00:59:03with someone else
00:59:04the entire time
00:59:05we were in that
00:59:05room
00:59:06You thought you
00:59:06were with Lucas
00:59:07You wanted him
00:59:08not me
00:59:08What was I
00:59:09supposed to do
00:59:10correct you
00:59:10mid-sduction
00:59:11Yes
00:59:12That's what a
00:59:13decent person
00:59:14would do
00:59:14Caleb
00:59:15I'm not a
00:59:16decent human
00:59:16being
00:59:17I've never
00:59:18claimed to be
00:59:19And the message
00:59:21The photo
00:59:22someone sent
00:59:22to my phone
00:59:23last week
00:59:23That was me
00:59:26I sent it
00:59:27You photographed
00:59:28me without
00:59:29my consent
00:59:29and then used
00:59:30it to threaten
00:59:31me
00:59:31It wasn't a
00:59:32threat
00:59:32it was
00:59:32I was trying
00:59:33to make you
00:59:34stay away
00:59:34from Lucas
00:59:35I panicked
00:59:36I blackmailing
00:59:37me
00:59:38That was
00:59:39your brilliant
00:59:39plan
00:59:39You kept
00:59:40spending time
00:59:41with him
00:59:42And I couldn't
00:59:43just tell you
00:59:44the truth
00:59:44without
00:59:45Without what
00:59:46Admitting you'd
00:59:47already violated
00:59:48every boundary
00:59:49that exists
00:59:49between two
00:59:50people
00:59:50Lucas is not
00:59:51who you think
00:59:52he is
00:59:53That's what
00:59:54I've been
00:59:54trying to tell
00:59:54you all this
00:59:55time
00:59:55Oh this
00:59:56should be
00:59:56good
00:59:57Please
00:59:57enlighten me
00:59:58about who
00:59:58Lucas is
00:59:59He's dangerous
01:00:00Serena
01:00:01There are
01:00:02things about
01:00:03him you
01:00:03don't know
01:00:03Things you
01:00:04conveniently
01:00:05couldn't mention
01:00:06until after
01:00:06you'd slept
01:00:07with me twice
01:00:07and gotten
01:00:08caught in
01:00:08your own
01:00:08web of lies
01:00:09The timing
01:00:10looks
01:00:10suspicious
01:00:11I know
01:00:12but I'm
01:00:13telling you
01:00:13the truth
01:00:14right now
01:00:14The truth
01:00:15You don't know
01:00:16what that
01:00:16word means
01:00:16Caleb
01:00:16You wouldn't
01:00:17recognize truth
01:00:18that introduced
01:00:18itself with a
01:00:19handshake
01:00:20Serena
01:00:20wait
01:00:22You have
01:00:23to listen
01:00:23to me
01:00:24about this
01:00:26I don't
01:00:27have to
01:00:27do what
01:00:27you say
01:00:28Lucas
01:00:29hurt someone
01:00:30Back in
01:00:31high school
01:00:31there was
01:00:31a girl
01:00:32at a party
01:00:32after everyone
01:00:33else had
01:00:34left
01:00:34She is
01:00:35the reason
01:00:35we stopped
01:00:36being friends
01:00:37And you
01:00:38expect me
01:00:39to believe
01:00:39this convenient
01:00:40revelation
01:00:41right now
01:00:41after everything
01:00:43you've just
01:00:43admitted
01:00:44It's not
01:00:44convenient
01:00:45It's relevant
01:00:47Everything I've
01:00:48done has been
01:00:48to protect
01:00:49you from him
01:00:50Are you
01:00:51lying to me
01:00:51This is
01:00:52sickening
01:00:53Caleb
01:00:53I know
01:00:54what it
01:00:55looks like
01:00:55but all
01:00:57I did
01:00:57was because
01:00:57I
01:00:58Was because
01:00:59you're a
01:00:59manipulative
01:01:00bastard
01:01:03Last night
01:01:03you told
01:01:04me it
01:01:04might hurt
01:01:05the second
01:01:05time
01:01:06You knew
01:01:06it was
01:01:07only my
01:01:07second
01:01:07time
01:01:08because
01:01:08you
01:01:08were
01:01:08my
01:01:08first
01:01:10Serena
01:01:10Don't
01:01:11Don't say
01:01:12my name
01:01:13like that
01:01:13You can't
01:01:14seem offended
01:01:14right now
01:01:16I'm going
01:01:18Don't follow
01:01:19me
01:01:19Please
01:01:20don't do
01:01:21this
01:01:21It's not
01:01:22like that
01:01:23Serena
01:01:23So how
01:01:24do I
01:01:24do it
01:01:27You're
01:01:28exactly
01:01:28the
01:01:29villain
01:01:29I
01:01:29always
01:01:29knew
01:01:30you
01:01:30were
01:01:30I
01:01:31just
01:01:31forgot
01:01:31for a
01:01:32few
01:01:32hours
01:01:36And the
01:01:37party
01:01:37tonight
01:01:38Are you
01:01:39still going
01:01:39with him
01:01:39despite
01:01:40everything
01:01:40I just
01:01:40told you
01:01:42Your
01:01:43word
01:01:43means
01:01:44nothing
01:01:44to me
01:01:44anymore
01:01:46This
01:01:47is such
01:01:48a beautiful
01:01:48event
01:01:49It
01:01:49really
01:01:49is
01:01:50Cheers
01:01:50to that
01:01:51Charity
01:01:52Galas
01:01:52exist
01:01:53so rich
01:01:53people
01:01:54can feel
01:01:54generous
01:01:55while drinking
01:01:56champagne
01:01:56that costs
01:01:57more than
01:01:57my textbooks
01:01:58You look
01:01:59stunning
01:02:00Every man
01:02:01in this room
01:02:02is jealous
01:02:02of me
01:02:02right now
01:02:03Flattery
01:02:04will get
01:02:04you everywhere
01:02:05Bennett
01:02:06That's what
01:02:07I'm counting
01:02:07on
01:02:09You two
01:02:09look absolutely
01:02:10lovely together
01:02:11Like something
01:02:12from magazine
01:02:12spread
01:02:13honestly
01:02:16The Bennetts
01:02:17raised a fine
01:02:17young man
01:02:18I couldn't
01:02:19be happier
01:02:19about you
01:02:20two spending
01:02:20time together
01:02:21Thank you
01:02:22sir
01:02:24Serena
01:02:24makes it
01:02:25easy
01:02:25to be
01:02:25a gentleman
01:02:37Do you
01:02:38want to
01:02:38dance?
01:02:39I
01:02:40wouldn't
01:02:40want
01:02:40anything
01:02:40more
01:02:44My
01:02:44father's
01:02:45partner
01:02:45wanted to
01:02:45meet you
01:02:46He's been
01:02:46asking about
01:02:47my mysterious
01:02:47pre-law
01:02:48girlfriend
01:02:48all evening
01:02:49I'm not
01:02:50your girlfriend
01:02:52Every
01:02:53interaction
01:02:53only reveals
01:02:54more kindness
01:02:55more evidence
01:02:56that Caleb
01:02:57lied
01:02:58Enjoying
01:02:58yourself
01:02:58princess
01:02:59Don't
01:03:00call me
01:03:00that
01:03:01Playing
01:03:01dress up
01:03:02with Bennett
01:03:02looks exhausting
01:03:04Blue suits
01:03:05you though
01:03:06Your mother
01:03:07would have
01:03:07approved
01:03:07Is there
01:03:08something you
01:03:09need
01:03:09Thornton?
01:03:10It's like
01:03:10him now
01:03:11actually
01:03:12Didn't you
01:03:12hear
01:03:13We're one
01:03:14big happy
01:03:14family these
01:03:15days
01:03:16Just making
01:03:17conversation
01:03:17with my
01:03:18stepister
01:03:19Family
01:03:20obligation
01:03:20You
01:03:21understand
01:03:22Funny how
01:03:22you only
01:03:23remember
01:03:23family
01:03:24obligations
01:03:24when it's
01:03:25convenient
01:03:26Some of us
01:03:27remember when
01:03:27you couldn't
01:03:27spell the
01:03:28word
01:03:28And some
01:03:29of us
01:03:29remember
01:03:29things we
01:03:30probably
01:03:30shouldn't
01:03:31talk about
01:03:31in charity
01:03:32galas
01:03:33Right
01:03:34Bennett
01:03:34Wouldn't
01:03:35want to
01:03:35ruin the
01:03:35evening
01:03:35with ancient
01:03:36history
01:03:37You're
01:03:38drunk
01:03:39Maybe
01:03:40you should
01:03:40find some
01:03:40water in a
01:03:41quiet corner
01:03:41Maybe
01:03:42you should
01:03:43worry less
01:03:43about my
01:03:44hydration
01:03:45and more
01:03:45about your
01:03:46own glass
01:03:46house
01:03:48Stones
01:03:49hurt when
01:03:49they come
01:03:50back around
01:03:50don't they
01:03:51Only we're
01:03:52actually just
01:03:53leaving
01:03:53Excuse us
01:04:04I didn't
01:04:05know you
01:04:05smoked
01:04:08There's a
01:04:08lot you
01:04:09don't know
01:04:09about me
01:04:10Though I
01:04:11suppose that
01:04:11cuts both
01:04:12ways now
01:04:12doesn't it
01:04:14You've been
01:04:15avoiding the
01:04:15all night
01:04:16Serena
01:04:16I really
01:04:17like the
01:04:18gala
01:04:19It's not
01:04:20all about
01:04:20you
01:04:20Caleb
01:04:21No
01:04:23Then why
01:04:23do you
01:04:24look for
01:04:24me
01:04:24in every
01:04:24room
01:04:25you
01:04:25enter
01:04:25I
01:04:26don't
01:04:30You
01:04:30do
01:04:30You've
01:04:31been
01:04:31watching
01:04:31me
01:04:32all
01:04:32night
01:04:32while
01:04:32pretending
01:04:33not
01:04:33to
01:04:33And
01:04:34I've
01:04:34been
01:04:34watching
01:04:35you
01:04:35pretend
01:04:42Does
01:04:42Lucas
01:04:43know
01:04:44Know
01:04:45what
01:04:46That
01:04:47you're
01:04:47only
01:04:47with
01:04:47him
01:04:48because
01:04:48of
01:04:48me
01:04:49You're
01:04:49delusional
01:04:51I
01:04:52chose
01:04:53Lucas
01:04:53because
01:04:54he's
01:04:54everything
01:04:55you're
01:04:55not
01:04:56And
01:04:56what
01:04:57exactly
01:04:57am
01:04:57I
01:04:58not
01:04:58Honest
01:05:00Attentive
01:05:01Capable
01:05:02of basic
01:05:03human
01:05:03decency
01:05:04without
01:05:04ulterior
01:05:04motives
01:05:05attached
01:05:05Sounds
01:05:06like a
01:05:06golden
01:05:07retriever
01:05:08Very
01:05:09exciting
01:05:10Excitement
01:05:11isn't
01:05:11everything
01:05:12Caleb
01:05:12Some
01:05:14of us
01:05:14prefer
01:05:14stability
01:05:15over
01:05:15chaos
01:05:16You
01:05:17don't
01:05:17want
01:05:17stability
01:05:19You
01:05:19want
01:05:19to
01:05:19feel
01:05:20safe
01:05:20one
01:05:20what
01:05:20terrifies
01:05:21you
01:05:21What
01:05:22terrifies
01:05:23me
01:05:23is
01:05:24your
01:05:24complete
01:05:26inability
01:05:26to take
01:05:27responsibility
01:05:28for anything
01:05:28you've
01:05:29done
01:05:29I've
01:05:30taken
01:05:30responsibility
01:05:32I
01:05:32told you
01:05:33the truth
01:05:33about
01:05:33Bennett
01:05:34about
01:05:35Halloween
01:05:35about
01:05:36the
01:05:36photo
01:05:36about
01:05:37all
01:05:37of
01:05:37it
01:05:38After
01:05:38I
01:05:39discovered
01:05:39the
01:05:39mask
01:05:40in
01:05:40your
01:05:40closet
01:05:40That's
01:05:41not
01:05:41a
01:05:41confession
01:05:42that's
01:05:42damage
01:05:42control
01:05:43And
01:05:44yet
01:05:44here
01:05:44you
01:05:45are
01:05:46alone
01:05:47with
01:05:47me
01:05:47on
01:05:47a
01:05:47balcony
01:05:48instead
01:05:48of
01:05:48inside
01:05:49with
01:05:49your
01:05:49puppy
01:05:49I
01:05:50came
01:05:50out
01:05:50here
01:05:50for
01:05:51air
01:05:52not
01:05:52for
01:05:53you
01:05:53Keep
01:05:54telling
01:05:54yourself
01:05:54that
01:05:57That's
01:05:58a
01:05:58great
01:05:58story
01:05:58I
01:05:59remember
01:06:00the
01:06:00first
01:06:00time
01:06:00I
01:06:00saw
01:06:01the
01:06:01play
01:06:06Excuse
01:06:07me
01:06:07for a
01:06:07moment
01:06:10There
01:06:10you
01:06:10are
01:06:11I've
01:06:12been
01:06:12looking
01:06:12everywhere
01:06:13for
01:06:13you
01:06:16Just
01:06:16getting
01:06:16some
01:06:16air
01:06:17the
01:06:18ball
01:06:18room
01:06:18was
01:06:18getting
01:06:18stuffy
01:06:19I
01:06:20can
01:06:20imagine
01:06:21Caleb
01:06:23still
01:06:23here
01:06:24just
01:06:25leaving
01:06:25the
01:06:26view
01:06:26got
01:06:26less
01:06:27interesting
01:06:27I
01:06:28want
01:06:28to
01:06:28hurt
01:06:29him
01:06:29the
01:06:29way
01:06:30he
01:06:30hurt
01:06:30me
01:06:30I
01:06:31want
01:06:31him
01:06:31to
01:06:32watch
01:06:32and
01:06:33suffer
01:06:34Lucas
01:06:36Serena
01:06:56What
01:06:57was that
01:06:57for
01:06:57I
01:06:58just
01:06:59wanted
01:06:59to
01:07:03I
01:07:03I
01:07:03not
01:07:04complaining
01:07:05feel
01:07:05free
01:07:06to
01:07:06want
01:07:06that
01:07:06anytime
01:07:07we
01:07:08should
01:07:08go
01:07:08back
01:07:08inside
01:07:10people
01:07:11will
01:07:11talk
01:07:12let
01:07:13them
01:07:21funny
01:07:22how
01:07:22memory
01:07:22works
01:07:23my
01:07:23traitorous
01:07:24mind
01:07:24has
01:07:24other
01:07:25plans
01:07:25circling
01:07:26Caleb's
01:07:27face
01:07:27like a
01:07:27vulture
01:07:28over
01:07:28carrion
01:07:29devastated
01:07:30doesn't
01:07:30cover
01:07:31it
01:07:31he
01:07:31looked
01:07:32destroyed
01:07:32the
01:07:33foundation
01:07:33cracked
01:07:34and
01:07:34walls
01:07:35collapsed
01:07:35I
01:07:36tell
01:07:36myself
01:07:36this
01:07:37is
01:07:37what
01:07:37I
01:07:37wanted
01:07:38punishment
01:07:39so
01:07:40why
01:07:40does
01:07:40victory
01:07:41taste
01:07:41like
01:07:41ash
01:07:42coating
01:07:42my
01:07:43tongue
01:07:43the
01:07:44clock
01:07:44reads
01:07:44three
01:07:45in
01:07:45the
01:07:45morning
01:07:45but
01:07:46even
01:07:46in
01:07:46dreams
01:07:47I
01:07:47can't
01:07:47escape
01:07:47the
01:07:48blue
01:07:48of
01:07:48his
01:07:48eyes
01:07:49right
01:07:49before
01:07:49they
01:07:50went
01:07:50hollow
01:07:52Lucas
01:07:53and I
01:07:53build
01:07:53something
01:07:54and the
01:07:54spaces
01:07:54between
01:07:55obligations
01:07:56coffee
01:07:57shops
01:07:57where
01:07:57baristas
01:07:58know
01:07:58our
01:07:58orders
01:07:59library
01:08:00corners
01:08:00we've
01:08:01claimed
01:08:01as
01:08:01territory
01:08:06his
01:08:06roommates
01:08:07scatter
01:08:07when I
01:08:08arrive
01:08:08mumbling
01:08:09excuses
01:08:10that
01:08:10sound
01:08:10rehearsed
01:08:11they're
01:08:12just
01:08:12awkward
01:08:12around
01:08:13new
01:08:13people
01:08:16he
01:08:17seems
01:08:17genuine
01:08:17which
01:08:19either
01:08:19means
01:08:19he
01:08:19is
01:08:20or
01:08:20he's
01:08:20very
01:08:21good
01:08:21at
01:08:21pretending
01:08:21that's
01:08:22true
01:08:22sure
01:08:23thank
01:08:24you
01:08:24I'm
01:08:25a
01:08:25realist
01:08:26not
01:08:26a
01:08:26cheerleader
01:08:28but
01:08:28your
01:08:28other
01:08:29friends
01:08:29like
01:08:29him
01:08:29so
01:08:30there's
01:08:31that
01:08:31they
01:08:31do
01:08:31like
01:08:32him
01:08:32the
01:08:33easy
01:08:33charm
01:08:33the
01:08:34remembered
01:08:34details
01:08:35the
01:08:35way
01:08:36he
01:08:36makes
01:08:36everyone
01:08:36feel
01:08:37important
01:08:37I
01:08:38should
01:08:38be
01:08:38grateful
01:08:38for
01:08:39the
01:08:39consensus
01:08:39instead
01:08:40I
01:08:41find
01:08:41myself
01:08:42cataloging
01:08:42inconsistencies
01:08:43like
01:08:44evidence
01:08:44for a
01:08:45trial
01:08:45I
01:08:45haven't
01:08:46decided
01:08:46to
01:08:46hold
01:08:47his
01:08:47smile
01:08:47doesn't
01:08:48always
01:08:48reach
01:08:48his
01:08:49eyes
01:08:49especially
01:08:50when he
01:08:50thinks
01:08:51I'm
01:08:51not
01:08:51watching
01:08:51caleb
01:08:52caleb
01:08:53caleb
01:08:53us
01:08:53across
01:08:53campus
01:08:54with
01:08:55the
01:08:55dedication
01:08:55of
01:08:56someone
01:08:56memorizing
01:08:57a
01:08:57crime
01:08:57scene
01:08:57he
01:08:58doesn't
01:08:58approach
01:08:59doesn't
01:08:59speak
01:09:00doesn't
01:09:00acknowledge
01:09:01my
01:09:01existence
01:09:02beyond
01:09:02those
01:09:03burning
01:09:03blue
01:09:03eyes
01:09:04tracking
01:09:04my
01:09:05movements
01:09:05every
01:09:06time
01:09:06our
01:09:06gazes
01:09:07collide
01:09:07my
01:09:08chest
01:09:08constricts
01:09:09with
01:09:09an ache
01:09:09I
01:09:09refuse
01:09:10to
01:09:10name
01:09:10I
01:09:11look
01:09:11away
01:09:11first
01:09:12because
01:09:12looking
01:09:13longer
01:09:13feels
01:09:14like
01:09:14confession
01:09:14the
01:09:15parade
01:09:16of
01:09:16girls
01:09:16through
01:09:16his
01:09:17bedroom
01:09:17has
01:09:17stopped
01:09:18or
01:09:18at
01:09:18least
01:09:19the
01:09:19volume
01:09:19has
01:09:19dropped
01:09:20to
01:09:20silence
01:09:28you
01:09:29okay
01:09:30fine
01:09:31what
01:09:32happened
01:09:33between
01:09:33you
01:09:33two
01:09:33ancient
01:09:35history
01:09:35serena
01:09:37it doesn't
01:09:38matter
01:09:38anymore
01:09:38clearly
01:09:39it does
01:09:40you can't
01:09:41even look
01:09:41at his
01:09:42car
01:09:42without
01:09:42going
01:09:43full
01:09:43statue
01:09:43we
01:09:44were
01:09:44kids
01:09:46people
01:09:46grow
01:09:47apart
01:09:47that's
01:09:48not
01:09:48an
01:09:48answer
01:09:48and
01:09:49you
01:09:50know
01:09:50it
01:09:51it
01:09:52was
01:09:52just
01:09:52high
01:09:52school
01:09:53drama
01:09:54stuka
01:09:55teenage
01:09:55stuff
01:09:55what
01:09:56kind
01:09:56of
01:09:56stupid
01:09:57teenage
01:09:57stuff
01:09:58did
01:09:59you
01:09:59steal
01:09:59his
01:10:00book
01:10:00beat
01:10:01him
01:10:01at
01:10:02lacrosse
01:10:02tryouts
01:10:04nothing
01:10:05like
01:10:05that
01:10:07then
01:10:07what
01:10:09was
01:10:10there
01:10:10a
01:10:10girl
01:10:10involved
01:10:13maybe
01:10:15but
01:10:15it's
01:10:16complicated
01:10:16complicated
01:10:17how
01:10:20what
01:10:21you
01:10:22two
01:10:22couldn't
01:10:22share
01:10:23her
01:10:23or
01:10:23something
01:10:23there
01:10:24was
01:10:24a
01:10:24girl
01:10:26her
01:10:27name
01:10:27was
01:10:27rachel
01:10:27and
01:10:28things
01:10:28just
01:10:30got
01:10:31messy
01:10:33what
01:10:35my
01:10:36parents
01:10:39have
01:10:39been
01:10:39asking
01:10:40about
01:10:40you
01:10:40I let him redirect. Let him kiss my cheek and walk away. Let the questions settle heavy in my chest.
01:10:48Rachel. A girl. Things got messy. The name circles my mind. Three hours disappear into the black hole
01:10:57of social media stalking. Rachel Weaver emerges from the digital excavation around midnight. I
01:11:03scroll back through years. Junior prom. Three years ago. Caleb on her left. Lucas on her right.
01:11:10Whatever broke them apart started with this girl in the blue dress.
01:11:16Whatever truth Caleb tried to tell me has roots I'm only beginning to trace. I open a new message
01:11:22window before doubt can intervene. The cursor blinks, patient and waiting. I start typing.
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