- 5 hours ago
Johnny Be Good (1988) Full Movie HD [x9pw0zs] [Full Movie] [Hot 2026]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28You
00:00:31Dear Lord, we pray that we may win this game today.
00:00:36We ask that you give us the strength and the courage
00:00:40to win our second straight state championship.
00:00:44We ask, Lord, that nobody on our side is seriously injured.
00:00:51We know in our hearts, Lord, that we are the best team.
00:00:59We ask that you allow us to win this game.
00:01:07The Lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it.
00:01:12Because that's what wins football games.
00:01:15Not jumping off sides like a bunch of wimps and faggots.
00:01:21All right, lift your heads, boys. Prayer's over.
00:01:23I talk to God. I'm through talking to God.
00:01:26Now I'm talking to you.
00:01:28You're gonna be out there in front of your families, student body.
00:01:32Every girl you ever had a heart on for is gonna be out there today,
00:01:35but you will not be going to no sock hop tonight, boys.
00:01:38You will not get no honey on your stinger tonight
00:01:40if you don't go out there and bust your ass.
00:01:45Because this is it.
00:01:48This is the big one.
00:01:51I want you to taste it.
00:01:54I want you to smell it, son.
00:02:01There's winners. And there's nothing else.
00:02:04I don't give a shit what those pinkos over in Russia say.
00:02:07You want to be a loser, you go live in Russia.
00:02:10I'm not a loser. I'm a winner.
00:02:14I'm an American.
00:02:16Who wants to be John Wayne?
00:02:17Who wants to go out there and grab a root and hang on?
00:02:21Who wants to get a mean on?
00:02:23Get a mean on, son.
00:02:25Let me see you get a mean on, son.
00:02:28Who wants it? I want to know.
00:02:29Who wants this? Who wants to get a mean on right now?
00:02:33Who wants it?
00:02:34I want it! I want it!
00:03:04Come on, man!
00:03:05I'm going off the plate with a score!
00:03:06Good job, man!
00:03:08The bride of ascrop high, Johnny Walker!
00:03:13Hut!
00:03:21I'm gonna play football now!
00:03:23Yes, sir!
00:03:24Coach?
00:03:25It's the last game of the season.
00:03:26You could maybe get in for a couple of minutes.
00:03:28You want to play?
00:03:30Yes.
00:03:30Please.
00:03:32No, you don't.
00:03:34Fight!
00:03:36Fight!
00:03:38Fight!
00:03:51Next week, this is Walker's 40th TD Pass this season,
00:03:55a new state record.
00:03:58Right!
00:03:59Wide set!
00:04:05Hit it straight!
00:04:05Come on, hit it straight, boys!
00:04:06They want to find a hole!
00:04:11Yeah, just give them a punt sign, will you?
00:04:19Walker, kick the ball! Kick it!
00:04:35Another record for Walker!
00:04:38That was a spreader than 64th TD.
00:04:39Five-second hang time?
00:04:45It is loaded, fellas!
00:04:48Pardon you!
00:04:52With that complete and delightful family, Walker has just set a national high school record!
00:04:5811.35.
00:05:00Gibson's out of his car and into the stadium.
00:05:03Out!
00:05:03Out!
00:05:06Out!
00:05:09Coach!
00:05:11That offer still stands.
00:05:13My ass is still no.
00:05:16Do it for us!
00:05:17For the singles!
00:05:18We're calling to play, Walker!
00:05:20I think the score is 52-0.
00:05:23What can we do to get Gash in the game?
00:05:25I got it!
00:05:26Let's lose five!
00:05:27Right!
00:05:27Hey!
00:05:30Push it in!
00:05:31I want another score!
00:05:32Let's go!
00:05:33Let's go!
00:05:34I'm going down!
00:05:41Oh, it's the leg!
00:05:41I'm down!
00:05:43What's he doing?
00:05:43What's Walker doing?
00:05:45Uh-oh!
00:05:46I think I broke my dick!
00:05:48Ow!
00:05:49Oh, no!
00:05:50Not as George!
00:05:51He's down!
00:05:52Walker's down!
00:05:52Gash!
00:05:53Gash!
00:05:53Gash!
00:05:55Get in the game, Jack!
00:05:56Put it in the end zone!
00:05:57First time!
00:05:58What's the matter, son?
00:05:59I broke my dick, coach.
00:06:00I rub some dirt on it and get back in there.
00:06:02It's broken!
00:06:04You go left.
00:06:05You go right.
00:06:06I'll run.
00:06:12Ah!
00:06:14All wrong.
00:06:17Oh, Jack!
00:06:18Jack!
00:06:19Throw your navel in the ground, will ya?
00:06:22Hey, Juicy.
00:06:23What's your name in a paper?
00:06:24Put it in the end zone!
00:06:24Hi, Johnny.
00:06:25Would you mind taking off your underpants real quick
00:06:26and going to stand over there?
00:06:27Sure.
00:06:28Anything for you.
00:06:33235.
00:06:34Cheerleader taking her yellow panties off.
00:06:37Over and out.
00:06:39Hey, guys.
00:06:40Juicy Dorfman isn't wearing any underpants.
00:06:43Woo!
00:06:47So?
00:06:49Left 46 on the first sound.
00:06:53Ready?
00:06:54Break!
00:07:01Oh, I see.
00:07:03That girl's not wearing any underwear.
00:07:05What?
00:07:06Whoa!
00:07:06Which one?
00:07:07Hey!
00:07:07Check it out.
00:07:14Hold me.
00:07:16Hold me.
00:07:16Hold me.
00:07:17Oh, wrong.
00:07:25I see the hole.
00:07:26I see the hole.
00:07:27I see the hole.
00:07:28I see the hole.
00:07:28Hey!
00:07:28That guy!
00:07:29Uh-uh!
00:07:31Hold me!
00:07:32Hey!
00:07:33Hey!
00:07:35Hey!
00:07:36Come on.
00:07:40Ashckrawki has just won their second Kenny Tag assessor.
00:07:45Congratulations to coach Wayne Hintler.
00:07:48and especially to everyone, High School All-American, Johnny Walker!
00:08:08Move! Move!
00:08:09Move! Move!
00:08:17Hello?
00:08:18Hey, Johnny. Glad I could get to you. This is how it goes, Sally.
00:08:22You were just tremendous out there today.
00:08:25I've never seen a better performance at the high school level.
00:08:29You should go to an Ivy League school by the name of Yale University, in my opinion, young man.
00:08:37Have you thought about such a thing?
00:08:39Is this really you, Howard?
00:08:41Howard?
00:08:42Who is this?
00:08:42This is how it goes, Sally.
00:08:44Yeah?
00:08:44Does anybody in America like you? Huh?
00:08:49Oh!
00:08:51Oh, shit! Sorry!
00:08:53My boys, my boys. All right.
00:08:56It's worth the victory, huh? It's worth the victory.
00:09:03Johnny, Johnny, listen to me, man.
00:09:05Sign with me, I will make you a star.
00:09:07Now, ignore all these other guys, man.
00:09:09They're a bunch of athletic pimps.
00:09:10Trust me, athletic pimps.
00:09:11Look at the way they dress, man.
00:09:12Write your own ticket.
00:09:13I'll give you anything you want.
00:09:14Bring, bring!
00:09:15Hi, Puerto Rico!
00:09:17Johnny, Johnny, just tell me what you want, and I'll get you two of them.
00:09:19What do you like?
00:09:20You like girls?
00:09:20I like the head.
00:09:21You got it.
00:09:23What else?
00:09:24Ice cream, cultural pursuit?
00:09:26What?
00:09:26I gotta have you, Johnny.
00:09:28We have some TV coverage.
00:09:29I can offer you TV every single Saturday.
00:09:33You don't need me.
00:09:34I got what you want.
00:09:35I got what you need.
00:09:37You get right in that style of offense, boy.
00:09:39You're gonna start right away.
00:09:40Right away.
00:09:41That's what you wanna do.
00:09:42Play football, all right, boy?
00:09:51Hold on. Smurfs.
00:09:54Smurf.
00:09:55Smurf control.
00:09:56Hi.
00:09:58Get off my feet.
00:09:59Watch your toes.
00:10:01Okay.
00:10:01Don't I know your mom?
00:10:02What's it like thinking of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:04Georgia.
00:10:05What?
00:10:06Say that again?
00:10:07What's it like thinking of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:10Let me tell you something.
00:10:11These girls are gonna be beautiful grown women in about two minutes.
00:10:13You shouldn't really say that.
00:10:14Brain!
00:10:15Move away from my daughter, Walker.
00:10:18You tell me you're still pissed off because I brought you home a day late.
00:10:21Don't tell me that.
00:10:22Is that what happened?
00:10:23Huh?
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:24Johnna.
00:10:26Johnna.
00:10:26What?
00:10:27Who was it?
00:10:30You can't really cover those up at all.
00:10:34What?
00:10:35Let's give him one.
00:10:40Get your mouth off her, Walker.
00:10:43Let's go, Georgia.
00:10:45Now!
00:10:50I'll see you later.
00:10:52Very good.
00:10:54Mm-hmm.
00:10:58Can't say anything but thank you.
00:11:01We're talking success here!
00:11:02Come here, boys!
00:11:04Johnny!
00:11:05We're gonna keep going to Super Bowl!
00:11:10Excuse me.
00:11:11Excuse me.
00:11:12Excuse me.
00:11:13I'm sorry.
00:11:13I can't talk in the afternoon.
00:11:14Watch the jacket!
00:11:16We'll talk later.
00:11:17Okay.
00:11:18Wrong.
00:11:18Much less of the lies.
00:11:21More of the pride.
00:11:22The black corner.
00:11:23From the micro side.
00:11:24I'll hit you.
00:11:25Get back on.
00:11:26Goodbye, Dan.
00:11:28Thanks, Walker.
00:11:30Do you think these recruiters would all want you as much if, uh, they knew you're afraid of the dark?
00:11:35I'm not afraid of the dark.
00:11:36Well, I mean, it's okay.
00:11:37I'm not gonna spill the beans that you sleep in the nightlight.
00:11:42I don't need a nightlight.
00:11:43Come on.
00:11:44Yes, you do.
00:11:44It's okay.
00:11:45You're a punk.
00:11:46Accept it.
00:11:47All right.
00:11:47I accept it.
00:11:49So what?
00:11:51Show.
00:11:54You can't hit me again.
00:11:55Oh.
00:11:58Right here.
00:12:03I feel good now.
00:12:05Leo, it's time you and me moved on big time, pal.
00:12:08Big time scholarships.
00:12:09You see, she.
00:12:10Big time contacts.
00:12:11You see, she.
00:12:11Big deals.
00:12:12You see, she is the place for you.
00:12:14Hey, did I ever tell you about Coach's wife?
00:12:16No.
00:12:16You see, she.
00:12:16Woman has a set of chihuahuas.
00:12:18Can someone sneak in round the corner?
00:12:24Could that someone be back the night?
00:12:30There's the tugboat, hup, hup, hup.
00:12:34Down by the river, don't you know?
00:12:36Where's the men back?
00:12:39Just droopin' droopin' on down.
00:12:42Getting really good, Blaine.
00:12:43I just love your singing.
00:12:46Thank you, baby.
00:12:46You know, I was reading at the market today
00:12:49that we all come from another world.
00:12:52And we choose in that world who we want to be in this world.
00:12:56And we're all connected by a common cosmic thread.
00:13:00That's right, honey.
00:13:01That's true.
00:13:02What time are you going to work?
00:13:03After I make dinner for you and clean up.
00:13:06Do you realize that we're living nine lives simultaneously?
00:13:10Of course.
00:13:13Listen, sweet cake.
00:13:14Yes?
00:13:15On your way back from work, would you pick up my yellow suit for the cleaners?
00:13:19Okay.
00:13:19No problem.
00:13:21It's near that bakery that makes that black bundle bread you love so much.
00:13:25Yes.
00:13:38Hello?
00:13:38Coach Isler's house?
00:13:39Is he in?
00:13:41I think so.
00:13:43May I?
00:13:43Oh, sure.
00:13:44Just follow the sound to the music.
00:13:47Yeah.
00:13:48Whoo.
00:13:49Look out.
00:13:50Hope it's lighty, lady.
00:13:52And old Lucy Brown.
00:13:56Oh, the...
00:13:56Chancellor, how are you?
00:13:58Good to see you again, sir.
00:14:00How about that game today, huh?
00:14:02Nice.
00:14:02Walker was everything you said he was.
00:14:04Yes.
00:14:05Mm-hmm.
00:14:05What do I do to get him to go to Pyramont?
00:14:07I just want you to sit down and relax and enjoy my home.
00:14:10You're gonna have dinner with us, aren't you?
00:14:11I don't think we have enough salmon patties, Wayne.
00:14:17What the heck?
00:14:19Break out the fish sticks, honey.
00:14:20Oh, okay.
00:14:22Darling, some of that sparkling fruit wine.
00:14:26Mwah!
00:14:27Have a seat, please, Chancellor.
00:14:30Look, Coach, I didn't get to become president of Pyramont University by mincing words.
00:14:35My backers are getting impatient.
00:14:37They want success this year.
00:14:39They want to win.
00:14:40I want Walker.
00:14:42I'm the key to Walker, obviously.
00:14:45Obviously, you are.
00:14:46What is it you want?
00:14:48Name your price.
00:14:51I want to be the new head coach at Pyramont University.
00:14:53Is that all?
00:14:54No, I want a five-year no-cut contract,
00:14:57weekly television show, membership in the country club, etc.,
00:14:59all the usual perks.
00:15:00The main thing is that Walker is gonna go where I tell him to go,
00:15:05or he's not going anywhere.
00:15:07That's a fact.
00:15:09You can guarantee that?
00:15:12Kid loves me.
00:15:14You know, it's...
00:15:15I'm like a father to him, really.
00:15:18I guess they're such an asshole.
00:15:22Johnny, I've been having all these twisted visions lately.
00:15:27So they went on here.
00:15:30Well, I was thinking about developing, like, a deep personal relationship with a psychiatrist, you know, very tight.
00:15:36And then one day, just while he's complimenting me on all the headway progress I'm making in the area of
00:15:41my obsessive fear of torque wrenches,
00:15:43just cut him off mid-sense and say,
00:15:45Hey, hey!
00:15:46Whoops!
00:15:47Why am I angry at you today?
00:15:49He gets all Germanic on me and goes,
00:15:51Well, I think that it stems.
00:15:53Well, it stems from nothing.
00:15:55That's a trick question.
00:15:56I take his PhD off the wall and beat him about the head and shoulders with it for about an
00:16:01hour,
00:16:01and then I whisper softly in his ear,
00:16:04I'd like to pay for my next 20 visits in advance.
00:16:24Johnny, you'll be all you can be.
00:16:27For $81.50 a month after taxes?
00:16:29Exactly.
00:16:30No, I don't think so.
00:16:31Thank you, though.
00:16:31Notre Dame, my son.
00:16:33Father, how you doing?
00:16:34Father, aren't you gonna be late for a mass or something?
00:16:36Oh, you're right.
00:16:36I'm sorry.
00:16:37Alabama is football.
00:16:38Alabama's where you should be.
00:16:39Penn State is always in the top ten.
00:16:41We kicked Alabama's butt last year.
00:16:43That was one game.
00:16:44It's freezing in Penn State.
00:16:45It's a normal climate.
00:16:47Normal?
00:16:47Normal if you're a seal or an Esky model.
00:16:49It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:51It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:57Leo.
00:16:57Leo.
00:16:59My school has a buddy system.
00:17:00Johnny goes there, all of his buddies get to go there too.
00:17:03First class.
00:17:03Boy buddies, girl buddies, everybody.
00:17:06I'm ready for college and corruption.
00:17:08My school doesn't do that, Leo.
00:17:10It just exists in your imagination.
00:17:12Well, I have grand imagination.
00:17:13Oh.
00:17:15How about ten grand?
00:17:25Leo, more chicken?
00:17:26Uh, I'll just get the rest to go, please.
00:17:28Right.
00:17:29Anything, Johnny.
00:17:30Anything.
00:17:32Anything.
00:17:32I love you.
00:17:33Let's set a time.
00:17:36I'm free tonight.
00:17:39I can't believe the bald guy is still here.
00:17:42It's crazy out there.
00:17:43Come here, honey.
00:17:44Well, it's crazy in here too.
00:17:45There you go.
00:17:46But I like it.
00:17:47Yep.
00:17:48My lures are selling my cocktails.
00:17:51Especially like my walleye gibbler.
00:17:53This is exciting, though, isn't it?
00:17:55Oh, honey, I'm proud of you.
00:17:57I really am.
00:17:58You've worked hard for this for a long time.
00:18:00Thank you, Mom.
00:18:01You know I couldn't have done it without you.
00:18:04Yeah.
00:18:04I'm glad you know it, because it's true.
00:18:06That's why one day very soon I'm gonna work hard enough.
00:18:09You're not gonna have to work again, Mom.
00:18:11I don't mind working, Johnny.
00:18:13It's a decent way to make a living.
00:18:16Well, I know you don't mind.
00:18:17That's why I do.
00:18:19Where's Georgia today?
00:18:21Yeah, where is she?
00:18:23She's grounded.
00:18:25Why?
00:18:26For knowing me.
00:18:28Yes, I can understand that.
00:18:31You're popping off, Ma, huh?
00:18:33You ready for a little pee in the head, Ma?
00:18:35Will you stop?
00:18:36No, wait.
00:18:36Now, don't...
00:18:37You want another one?
00:18:38Oh, he's gonna get alive now, huh?
00:18:39Don't you dare.
00:18:39All right.
00:18:40You can stop.
00:18:41Hey.
00:18:43All right.
00:18:43That's it.
00:18:44That's it.
00:18:44No dessert.
00:18:46What can I do?
00:18:47So, Ray, what'd you think of the game?
00:18:49You looked goofy.
00:18:52You looked what?
00:18:54Goofy.
00:18:55You didn't look in the mirror today.
00:18:56You know why?
00:18:57Because you don't have any teeth.
00:18:58So, when you get some front teeth, then you can tell me how goofy I look.
00:19:01Until that moment comes along, you can't say anything.
00:19:03Okay?
00:19:04Okay?
00:19:05Do you hear me?
00:19:07Say, I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:08Say, I hear you, big brother.
00:19:10Say, I hear you, big brother.
00:19:10I hear you, big brother.
00:19:11Say, you are my man.
00:19:12You are my man.
00:19:15No, she just ate.
00:19:16Now, just...
00:19:17But much more importantly, what about Leo's first touchdown ever?
00:19:20You look good today.
00:19:21All right.
00:19:22Once I got the right direction going.
00:19:23Why didn't you ever eat at your house, Leo?
00:19:27Why?
00:19:28Well, I think it's basically because my parents hate me.
00:19:32And they've accused me of carrying an ammonia-filled tentacle around with me.
00:19:37Which, of course, I do not.
00:19:39What is this, the funny farm?
00:19:44I don't understand why they hate you.
00:19:47I don't understand why they hate you.
00:19:48Johnny, my boy.
00:19:49Now, listen.
00:19:50You've got to get organized, you know.
00:19:52Now, you've had calls from Michigan, UCC, Piermont, and Old Tex, LSU, and Kansas, eh?
00:20:00And Cornell.
00:20:01What do you think, Mom?
00:20:02I mean, do I call these people back?
00:20:04Well, superstar, you can start by clearing the table and helping me with the dishes.
00:20:12Nice little reality break for Mom there, huh?
00:20:14Isn't that nice?
00:20:15Well, you're home now, sir.
00:20:16Thank you, Grant.
00:20:18Listen, I'm a hooker.
00:20:19And you...
00:20:19I'm not gonna catch a single monkfish if you had to.
00:20:23See you later.
00:20:24Have a ball.
00:20:25A monkfish.
00:20:26A fish.
00:20:30One, a.
00:20:31Two, two, three, four.
00:20:32One, two, three.
00:20:40Three.
00:20:42One, two, one- starred.
00:20:43One, one.
00:20:45All right!
00:20:51Four, six, five, seven.
00:20:55Two, four, two, six.
00:21:00One, two, three, four, five.
00:21:34Family's really nice.
00:21:35Your mom's a terrible cook.
00:21:40Where are we going now?
00:21:41Georgia's.
00:21:43Really?
00:21:44I thought you was grounded.
00:21:45I'm on ground again.
00:21:46All right.
00:21:57Please, boy.
00:22:00Oh, I see.
00:22:03There's got to be Rottweiler.
00:22:05There's no mistaking this.
00:22:07That's no chihuahua.
00:22:11I thought her parents hated you.
00:22:13This would be embarrassing.
00:22:14Yeah, well, she digs me.
00:22:16His father is the one who I have problems with.
00:22:18Well, she'll come around.
00:22:21Mrs. Elkins.
00:22:23Good evening.
00:22:24Um, is Georgia home?
00:22:26Yes.
00:22:27And that's where she's going to stay.
00:22:31Hmm.
00:22:33I just felt the love beam.
00:22:35She loves me.
00:22:45Freeze, dirtbags!
00:22:47I don't want you sniffing around my daughter, Walker.
00:22:50What's shaking, Chief?
00:22:51Chief, how the hell is patrol?
00:22:53You're in big trouble, Walker.
00:22:56Chief, you can't keep me away from your daughter.
00:22:59I'm going to keep you away from her forever.
00:23:01How are you going to do that, Chief?
00:23:03We're going to settle this thing once and for all.
00:23:05I can't just beat the shit out of you.
00:23:07So we're going to have us a little game of football.
00:23:09And I'm going to hurt you.
00:23:11I'm going to play with these two men right here.
00:23:14These men right here?
00:23:16Okay, hold on.
00:23:16Let me get a head count for a second here.
00:23:18You got one, two, three, four.
00:23:21Oh, that's a little unfair, isn't it, Chief?
00:23:22Well, then you can play with the big cheese.
00:23:25Oh, no, I like it.
00:23:26Chief, one last thing.
00:23:27Once we kick your butt, George is mine.
00:23:30Well, then, just to make it fair,
00:23:32you're going to get to play with one hand behind your back.
00:23:36Isn't that cute?
00:23:38Chief, you don't play with one hand, do you?
00:23:44Let's bless the ball.
00:23:45Ah, a little pooper for the troopers.
00:23:48Come on.
00:23:53George!
00:23:59Rotten little piss heads.
00:24:02Woo!
00:24:03Get that!
00:24:05Go!
00:24:08Cheerleaders?
00:24:10Cheerleaders?
00:24:11Go!
00:24:13I got it, I got it.
00:24:15Woo-hoo!
00:24:16Woo!
00:24:17See you!
00:24:32Guess what, Trooper?
00:24:33That's what!
00:24:44Can I shoot you my knee, please?
00:24:52Nice catch, Trooper.
00:24:56Hey, Trooper!
00:24:59Get him out of here!
00:25:01Oh, my God!
00:25:07Hey, Batman! Get out of here!
00:25:10I'm out of here!
00:25:11I'm out of here!
00:25:13Get out of here!
00:25:15I'm out of here!
00:25:17I'm out of here!
00:25:18Look at him go. Look at the cheese.
00:25:21Wait a second. It's a $20 ball. It's a game ball.
00:25:24Let's get him.
00:25:25Get out of here!
00:25:26Get out of here!
00:25:35It started last weekend
00:25:39At the L house...
00:25:411038. This movie is shit.
00:25:45Girl, I saw your beaver flash
00:25:49I'll never be the same
00:25:53Oh, no...
00:26:00You gave me a soul kiss
00:26:05For it sure was grand
00:26:09Johnny!
00:26:11Now that I'm homeless
00:26:13What do you plan to do with me?
00:26:15I'm gonna love you.
00:26:18Now I'm gonna marry you.
00:26:22And that should take care of about 60 years
00:26:27Is that a threat or a promise?
00:26:29That's a threat.
00:26:33I'm getting old, though.
00:26:34Yeah, real old, Johnny.
00:26:36I'm serious.
00:26:38Next thing you know, I'll be on the beach
00:26:41With that big belly
00:26:43Sporting a bikini underwear
00:26:45Just walking
00:26:48Then comes gray hair
00:26:51Then comes ear hair
00:26:52Coming out of my ears
00:26:54Then comes white hair
00:26:55Then comes no hair
00:26:56Then comes no teeth
00:26:58Then boom!
00:26:59You're 70 years old
00:27:01Or 80
00:27:04Nature
00:27:07I'll be there
00:27:20You kids having a good time?
00:27:26Hey, John!
00:27:27Johnny ball game!
00:27:29All right!
00:27:30Now I don't mean to interrupt you
00:27:31I just want you to know, John
00:27:33There's a lot of phony hype
00:27:35With all these schools
00:27:36Now I know you better than you know yourself
00:27:38And right now
00:27:40The best situation for you is Piermont
00:27:43Oh, yeah, Coach?
00:27:44Really?
00:27:45Yeah
00:27:46Can I tell him you'll come down for a visit this weekend?
00:27:48Coach
00:27:52He beat my horse
00:27:54If he never even ran a race
00:27:55Okay?
00:27:56I'll be there
00:27:58Johnny ball game
00:27:59Okay
00:28:00I'll have him send you a plane ticket
00:28:01You know I've always been fond of you, kid
00:28:06Thank you, Coach
00:28:07I'm fond of your pacer
00:28:10Thank you
00:28:10I'm most fond of that
00:28:12Hey
00:28:12Yellow?
00:28:13You can have one of these someday
00:28:15Don't tease me, Coach
00:28:22That's the last damn school I've ever visited in my life
00:28:24Johnny, why are you visiting all these schools?
00:28:29I thought we planned to go to state
00:28:32To be together
00:28:34I can't just ignore the opportunity to go see schools
00:28:38See the country
00:28:41You wouldn't want that
00:28:44Mm-mm
00:28:45Come on
00:28:46You get that look on your face
00:28:48Let me get a kiss, please
00:28:48Like, you know
00:28:49Let me get a Georgia fish kiss
00:28:52Come get it
00:28:57Come get it?
00:28:58Come on
00:29:00Come on
00:29:27Ooh
00:29:28First class bucket seats
00:29:31Price is right, too, huh?
00:29:36What are you, a private?
00:29:38Hey, I'm trying to eat
00:29:40Do you mind?
00:29:42Hey
00:29:42This is a family bus here
00:29:44Hey, Slim
00:29:45Hey, I'm trying to eat
00:29:46Hey, Slim
00:29:47Hey, knock it off, will you?
00:30:03Hey
00:30:03I wonder if that's the old text plane
00:30:04Have you seen a lot of commercial airlines that look like flying horny toad?
00:30:07No
00:30:19Get off that, no
00:30:21Please
00:30:26Hi, how y'all doing?
00:30:27How you doing?
00:30:28Good to see you
00:30:28My name's Tex Wade
00:30:30I'm gonna be your host for the weekend
00:30:31I'm gonna make sure you get everything you want from your visit to old Tex
00:30:36Well, thank you, Tex
00:30:37You got a lot of style, Tex
00:30:39How about a little something to blur your vision, Johnny?
00:30:43No thanks, Tex
00:30:44Well, then, hop in
00:30:45Okay
00:30:46Bye, Georgia
00:30:47Johnny
00:30:48Be good
00:30:53Come on in, Tex
00:30:56Georgia, can you see his boots?
00:30:59Georgia, can you see his boots?
00:31:00See you, Georgia
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:04Just getting taxed, okay?
00:31:05Ugh!
00:31:06Damn!
00:31:19Where is that punk?
00:31:21Excuse me?
00:31:23I'm not talking to you, lady
00:31:25What a jerk
00:31:32What a jerk
00:31:33Seems time for more valuable than mine, I guess
00:31:36Probably stroking his muskrat somewhere
00:31:43Sit down, coach
00:31:44Oh, thank you
00:31:48You're late
00:31:50Where's the kid?
00:31:51Ah
00:31:52They sprung a math test on him
00:31:54Can you believe that?
00:31:55Now, he'll be flying down a little later
00:31:57Actually, I should give him a little call
00:31:59Use the phone back there, please
00:32:01Yeah
00:32:03We should have seen that airport
00:32:04What a madhouse
00:32:07It's a beautiful office, Jasper
00:32:10Not too shabby
00:32:13John, how are you?
00:32:16Shit
00:32:16What's the matter?
00:32:17Oh, that's terrible
00:32:18Listen
00:32:20Don't worry about a thing
00:32:21We'll just reschedule a meeting, okay?
00:32:23I know
00:32:23I know you want to come here with me
00:32:26It's all right
00:32:26You haven't hurt your chances
00:32:28Now, look
00:32:29As soon as I get off the airplane
00:32:30I'm coming right over to see you
00:32:32All right
00:32:33I love you too, son
00:32:35Bye-bye
00:32:37That's a great kid
00:33:08I want you to feel right at home, like family
00:33:11Like this was your very own ranch
00:33:13Right
00:33:14Look, this comes straight from my heart, Johnny
00:33:17I...
00:33:17Everybody here loves you
00:33:19See these long-stemmed American beauties here?
00:33:21They're all for you
00:33:22They're yours
00:33:22That grass is yours
00:33:24This whole shindig is yours
00:33:25Them trees are yours
00:33:26Hell, that lake is yours
00:33:28Is this part of the campus, Tech?
00:33:29You can call it part of the campus, Johnny
00:33:31Hell, you come to Old Tech's
00:33:33You can call it anything you want
00:33:35Oh, I love Old Tech's
00:33:36Margarita, Mr. Wade
00:33:37Don't mind if we do, Darwin
00:33:39Here you go
00:33:40Pack one of these
00:33:42Shit, everybody drinks of margaritas at Old Tech's
00:33:46Feisty little filly, ain't she?
00:33:48My wife says they're medicinal
00:33:50He's out of the chute
00:33:53It's perfect, baby, baby
00:33:55Baby, we're shaking
00:33:56Come on, break yourself loose here
00:33:58Say hi to Johnny Walker
00:33:59Johnny, captain of the team Bad Breath Bannister
00:34:02Tough foodie, baby
00:34:03Good to meet you
00:34:03That boy's breath would gag him like it
00:34:05I know, I detect him
00:34:06But he's gotta be hot
00:34:06Hi
00:34:08Ladies and gents
00:34:09And I have your attention for one minute
00:34:13I want to introduce to you
00:34:15Five of the most sought-after football players
00:34:19In the entire country
00:34:21Boys..
00:34:23Come on now
00:34:24Step up here
00:34:25I want you, I want you
00:34:33We want you!
00:34:33We want you!
00:34:34This here is Flick Weaver
00:34:36Pete Andropolis
00:34:38Benny Fink
00:34:40We want you!
00:34:42We want you!
00:34:43We want you!
00:34:43We want you!
00:34:45We want you!
00:34:50We want you!
00:34:52Hail on to Otex!
00:34:56Let the Spirit lead!
00:35:00Hail on to Otex!
00:35:03On to victory!
00:35:06Our minds and hearts are with you
00:35:10Your hallowed heart be praised
00:35:14Hail on to Otex!
00:35:19On to victory!
00:35:40Otex is great!
00:35:42Yeah, but they can't come close to the money, Piermont, though.
00:35:45Man, we need that junk bond bullshit.
00:35:47I'm splittin'!
00:35:47Otex is great!
00:35:48Where you going?
00:35:50I'm going to get some Chinese.
00:35:51And ain't you boy yet, brother?
00:35:53I'm not talking about food.
00:35:54I told Tex I'd only come to visit if you got me two Chinese girls.
00:35:58Yo, Flick!
00:35:59It is!
00:36:02We're gonna show you a real good time!
00:36:07How you doing, Carmen?
00:36:08I'm glad to see you.
00:36:09Ralph, what's up with you, man?
00:36:10How you doing?
00:36:11How's it feeling, man?
00:36:12I'm pretty good.
00:36:13Things looking up?
00:36:14Star Mark is down.
00:36:15Stocks are down, huh?
00:36:16Uh-huh.
00:36:17How's your wife, man?
00:36:18Oh, fair.
00:36:19I need a partner.
00:36:21Still picking pockets, man?
00:36:22Yeah.
00:36:24She's a lovely woman, and she makes you smile.
00:36:30I'm here to tell you that it is my responsibility to welcome you to the fold of old Tex.
00:36:36Sorta like a queen bee with a hive.
00:36:40And I never miss.
00:36:42I got me a player in every class.
00:36:48Darling, in order to prepare you for tonight's experience, we need to do a little hot heart
00:36:53exercise.
00:36:54I'm gonna send you some energy.
00:36:57Do you feel it?
00:36:59Do you feel it?
00:37:00I feel it.
00:37:01I feel it.
00:37:02Do you feel heat?
00:37:03I feel heat.
00:37:05I feel heat.
00:37:05Okay, okay.
00:37:06I feel it, too.
00:37:07Okay, now.
00:37:09How'd you like to go visit our campus?
00:37:11Where the hell is that campus, by the way?
00:37:13I was gonna ask you that.
00:37:14Well, I'm glad you asked, because I'm gonna take you there right now.
00:37:18Thank you, ma'am.
00:37:19Well, let us grab our drinks and a vamoose.
00:37:24Numero uno.
00:37:27I am gonna show you, you lucky boy, why they call us the horny toads.
00:37:34Why, darling, this is far more than a football program.
00:37:37Armadillo.
00:37:37I mean, we have a very fine medical program in which many operators have come out successful.
00:37:44Is that right?
00:37:44Well, you understand the word opera?
00:37:46Not at all.
00:37:47Was that your hand?
00:37:48That was yours.
00:37:49Oh.
00:37:50Oh.
00:37:50Well, that was my hand, darling.
00:37:52I thought it was a pillow.
00:37:54Oh, there you go.
00:37:54But I could see I was mistaken.
00:37:56Oh, that's amazing.
00:37:56And, uh, and, uh, as you can see, we have a very fine library.
00:38:01Right.
00:38:01I can see that.
00:38:03Well, we'll see the library needs.
00:38:07Excuse me.
00:38:15Listen, if you're not interested in her, I may know something.
00:38:20A little more your speed.
00:38:23What?
00:38:25Now, darling, I thought this would be a more intimate place to dine.
00:38:32A little more spacious.
00:38:34I can't believe the size of this canvas.
00:38:36It's huge.
00:38:37Well, you better think.
00:38:38You're all gonna be saying it.
00:38:39Go, Johnny, go.
00:38:40In the fall, 80,000 people will be cheering you on, darling.
00:38:44Johnny Walker!
00:38:46And I can guarantee you something, sweetheart.
00:38:49It will be nothing like the performance I am about to give.
00:38:55Oh, no.
00:38:56No, no, no, no.
00:38:58No.
00:38:59Yes.
00:39:00Oh, ouch.
00:39:01Oh, boink.
00:39:02Thank you so much.
00:39:04Matter of fact, I should start abusing that term.
00:39:07Because it would get in and out of more situations with smooth sincerity.
00:39:15Absolutely the best thing I could say is thank you right now.
00:39:18Thank you and, well, thank you.
00:39:21Darling, you talk too much.
00:39:23Wait a minute.
00:39:23No, thank you.
00:39:24See, I'm not the type of guy who thinks we just do...
00:39:26Joe Bob.
00:39:27Joe.
00:39:28Tell them about the old Tex baby dolls and how they like to sneak in the locker room at halftime.
00:39:35Lordy mercy, boys.
00:39:37We spend $20,000 a month on these pretty little fillies just for the football program alone.
00:39:42You're gonna like it here.
00:39:44Please stop.
00:39:45Please stop.
00:39:46Thank you very much.
00:39:48Look, thank you enough.
00:39:49You're making this hard enough.
00:39:51Please, stop.
00:39:53Oh.
00:39:54Jose, come on down here, boy.
00:39:56I wanna show you your picture.
00:39:58Speaking of luxury, if my eyes don't deceive me, that's a boy getting his knob polished right
00:40:03there on the 50-yard line.
00:40:04Say what?
00:40:09Stop.
00:40:11Stop.
00:40:13Let me go.
00:40:14Oh, I gotta put this up on the scoreboard.
00:40:17See it a little clearer.
00:40:18Excuse me.
00:40:20No, I'm not a homosexual.
00:40:23I have to go.
00:40:25Dude.
00:40:26Oh, God, I'll be dipped in dog shit.
00:40:29That's Johnny Walker.
00:40:30What the shit?
00:40:33That's my wife.
00:40:34Tim, I need your wife.
00:40:36Who said that?
00:40:37Wait a minute.
00:40:37Please.
00:40:38You have a husband.
00:40:38I'm getting out of here now.
00:40:39This is it, and I'm out.
00:40:41And put those tits away.
00:40:42This was no med school.
00:40:43This was not a library.
00:40:44I have to go.
00:40:46I have to go.
00:40:47Goodbye.
00:40:47I have to go.
00:40:48Get back here.
00:40:49I'm leaving.
00:40:50Come back here, you little boy.
00:40:51I gotta go.
00:40:52Come back here.
00:40:52I can make you feel good.
00:41:04Not in this car, boy.
00:41:05Let's go.
00:41:07Come on, let's go.
00:41:08Come on, let's go.
00:41:08Come on, dog, get in here.
00:41:09Oh.
00:41:10Yeah.
00:41:11Come on.
00:41:12Hey, don't catch the plate taking theval my behind.
00:41:15Don't be doing that.
00:41:17Get in here.
00:41:17Come on.
00:41:24Oh, so this is a medical school.
00:41:43Hey, boys, come on down here.
00:41:45Got the entire front row for y'all.
00:41:56Oh, my gosh.
00:41:58Look at that.
00:41:59It's quick.
00:41:59Right on there.
00:42:00Come on.
00:42:01Come on.
00:42:02Come on.
00:42:03Come on.
00:42:05Come on.
00:42:13Come on.
00:42:16Let me see.
00:42:31If someone's got a text, let us use his car.
00:42:34Goddamn.
00:42:34It was nice.
00:42:35I hope you've given this why I love him.
00:42:37Yeah.
00:42:39Let's get some beer now.
00:42:40Yes sir, beer!
00:42:47How you doing?
00:42:48Doing good, how you doing?
00:42:50Good, good.
00:42:51Uh, you going to play football at Old Tex?
00:42:54Oh, I don't know yet.
00:42:57You know, I used to be a football player.
00:43:00They said I would have been all American if I hadn't hurt my leg.
00:43:05What happened?
00:43:07Did you go to Old Tex?
00:43:09I was going to, but I really got the chance.
00:43:14After they took my scholarship away, I had to quit school.
00:43:19But, Old Tex took care of me, got me this job.
00:43:25I ain't complaining.
00:43:33Hey!
00:43:35Yeah, buddy!
00:43:37Yeah!
00:43:38Yeah!
00:43:38We're pointing to it!
00:43:40Woo!
00:43:40Woo!
00:43:42Woo!
00:43:43Woo!
00:43:44Yeah!
00:43:45Woo!
00:43:45What's this stuff, man?
00:43:47Oh, come on!
00:43:49Woo!
00:43:50Woo!
00:43:51What is it?
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:53Woo!
00:43:53Woo!
00:43:56It's Texas sushi, boy.
00:43:58Woo!
00:43:58Get you, man.
00:44:01Woo!
00:44:03Woo!
00:44:05Woo!
00:44:05Woo!
00:44:05Woo!
00:44:05Come on!
00:44:05Get out of here!
00:44:06Woo!
00:44:07Woo!
00:44:08Woo!
00:44:11Woo!
00:44:11Come on!
00:44:12Telling the world why you speak!
00:44:14Why you know what I mean!
00:44:16Yes, you know what I mean!
00:44:19Tell me what you gotta do!
00:44:22Woo!
00:44:27Hurry up!
00:44:28Hey, Johnny!
00:44:29Why don't you visit Old Tex, man?
00:44:31I need silence!
00:44:32I need silence!
00:44:33I need silence!
00:44:34I don't know!
00:44:36Come on!
00:44:36You're smarter than that, Johnny!
00:44:38I don't know!
00:44:39Do you sign your letter?
00:44:40No, no, no, no!
00:44:41Nothing else means squat!
00:44:46Hey!
00:44:47Get out of there!
00:44:48Hi, honey!
00:44:50How was the campus?
00:44:52The campus?
00:44:53Hi.
00:44:55Um...
00:44:55It was nice, Mom.
00:44:57Yeah, it was nice.
00:44:57It really was a nice campus.
00:44:59Well, you think of Old Tex as just a football school, right?
00:45:02And in actuality, they have the finest pre-med school in the country.
00:45:07Really, just a fierce...
00:45:08It was a beautiful set-up.
00:45:10Yeah, it was nice.
00:45:11It really was.
00:45:12Listen, something wonderful happened while you were away.
00:45:16This fella calls up on the telephone, you see?
00:45:19And he orders 10,000 wall-eyed gibblers!
00:45:22Yeah.
00:45:23Apparently, he gives them away on his late-night television show,
00:45:25like those vegematics or those spiffy little fishing rods
00:45:29that turn into can openers.
00:45:31He says, we could make a small fortune on this deal, you know?
00:45:36That's excellent, Grandpa.
00:45:38Yeah.
00:45:38Yeah, so he called, huh?
00:45:40The fella says, so long as they sell, the orders will just keep coming in.
00:45:45You know, we could maybe buy a larger house.
00:45:49That'll really catch a lot of fish.
00:45:51Hi, Johnny.
00:45:52Hey, Monica.
00:45:53She brews those tomatoes now.
00:45:59You folks tried those biscuits.
00:46:00They're delicious.
00:46:01What?
00:46:02You think of school yet, Johnny?
00:46:04Baby love.
00:46:06Hey.
00:46:07How was it?
00:46:08It was cool.
00:46:10It was good.
00:46:11I had a good time.
00:46:13Yeah?
00:46:15So how were the girls?
00:46:17Hmm?
00:46:18The girls?
00:46:20How were the girls?
00:46:23Well, they were, um, very short, very fat, and kind of weird looking.
00:46:33What was her name?
00:46:33Huh?
00:46:34What was her name?
00:46:38The woman I had dinner with was Luanda.
00:46:40Yeah.
00:46:40That was Tex's wife.
00:46:42Luanda?
00:46:43Very old chick.
00:46:44Very fat woman.
00:46:45And very funny looking.
00:46:47She took me to dinner and, you know, what do you think of Texas?
00:46:52And, you know, I love it.
00:46:54You know, a lot of small talk.
00:46:56And, um, yeah, I didn't, you know, I didn't do anything.
00:47:00You know, no touch.
00:47:06What are you, what are you thinking about?
00:47:10I think you're an asshole.
00:47:25This boy-girl shit hurts, man.
00:47:28Oh, no, Pete, none of that.
00:47:31It's a bogus product.
00:47:32It's a payoff.
00:47:33No self-respecting fish would go near a walleye giver.
00:47:36Hey, Leo, read my lips.
00:47:39Joe Bob promised my grandfather he'd buy 10,000 of things, okay?
00:47:43Yeah, you're confused.
00:47:44You're repeating yourself.
00:47:45Maybe.
00:47:46You're wrong.
00:47:47Oh.
00:47:48I couldn't break his heart like that.
00:47:50Did you understand?
00:47:51Well, I can't commit to old Tex.
00:47:54I'll tell you something, Leo.
00:47:54I had such a groove in Texas.
00:47:56Vomited margaritas the whole way home.
00:47:58It was beautiful, I'm telling you.
00:47:59It really runs.
00:48:00You'll spew forth the, uh, drink of every school you visit.
00:48:02I like that.
00:48:03I'll keep it in mind.
00:48:04Give me a hand.
00:48:04Hey!
00:48:05Howdy, Chief!
00:48:07Dirtbags!
00:48:10UCC, UCC, UCC.
00:48:14What's shaking, Coach?
00:48:15I didn't know you'd show.
00:48:18Coach, how do you feel?
00:48:20John, you promised me you were gonna visit Piermont.
00:48:24He's not going to Piermont.
00:48:26You get it?
00:48:27Got it?
00:48:27Goose yourself.
00:48:30If I want any shit out of you, Leo, I'll squeeze your head.
00:48:37You better listen to me, son.
00:48:39You're on the verge of destroying your entire career.
00:48:43I'm not gonna let it happen.
00:48:46I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure you do the right thing.
00:49:01If you keep playing games with me, you're gonna end up waiting on tables with this guy.
00:49:05That was cold-blooded, Coach.
00:49:09Coach, where's your shoes?
00:49:10Got those shoes, Coach.
00:49:12Look, are you sure Tom won't want to order more of my lures?
00:49:16We haven't sold one in three years.
00:49:20Well, Harvey, you tell him that a big shot down in Texas just ordered 10,000 of them.
00:49:25Ha!
00:49:26Reckon the fish in that state are gonna be safe for a while.
00:49:39Yeah.
00:49:53Grandpa Walker.
00:49:55Have a word with you?
00:49:56Sure, Coach.
00:49:57Sit down.
00:49:58Got some bad news.
00:50:00You know Tom Norman.
00:50:01Well, he owns this shop.
00:50:02I'm a fishing buddy.
00:50:04What's happening?
00:50:05Well, apparently he's very connected with some of the alumni from Piermont.
00:50:09Tom tells me that if Johnny doesn't go to Piermont, he's gonna have to cut off your credit here.
00:50:15Hey, I hear you're flunkin' English.
00:50:16Ouch!
00:50:18John, you need that English, son.
00:50:28You did your term paper in the American Hardware store, huh?
00:50:31Maybe you deserve that act.
00:50:33I don't want to hear anything about it.
00:50:34It's a very legitimate topic.
00:50:35Well, yes it is, and I must read it.
00:50:36I know you wanted to.
00:50:37So, Leo, I think you know why we're here today.
00:50:41I think you do.
00:50:42He's always been messing with me, Leo.
00:50:44He's been messing with my grandfather.
00:50:47He's been messing with my little brother, my little sister.
00:50:52He's been messing with my mom, Leo.
00:50:54He's been talking to her, messing with her.
00:50:58And now, we're gonna mess with him, Leo.
00:51:03Are you with me?
00:51:03Lee!
00:51:06He ruined his life, man.
00:51:09Gonna ruin it good.
00:51:10Gonna do the wrong thing like I thought I could.
00:51:13Oh, Leo, vengeance is mine.
00:51:15Here we went.
00:51:15You made all the calls, didn't you, my friend?
00:51:16All comes together now.
00:51:18Thought I would.
00:51:18Wait till you see those chihuahuas.
00:51:21Shh.
00:51:22But, but, hey.
00:51:29I'm glad you boys came by.
00:51:31The wife, uh, the wife has a Tupperware party,
00:51:33but we, we can talk in the den if you like.
00:51:35I'd appreciate that, coach.
00:51:36Let's go.
00:51:36Come on, right in, please.
00:51:38It has, um, green.
00:51:41It has blue.
00:51:43It has, um, purple.
00:51:45Is that purple?
00:51:47You boys have met my children before, sugar and honey.
00:51:50Oh, I love your kids.
00:51:51Uh-huh.
00:51:51Coach, I've been giving a lot of thought to what you told me about Piermont.
00:51:53I really have.
00:51:54Oh, that's good.
00:51:55Yeah.
00:51:56Except I'm having a little problem with my English grade.
00:51:59Really?
00:52:00Yeah.
00:52:00I thought you could help.
00:52:03I, I, I might be able to help you out with that.
00:52:06Sure.
00:52:07I thought you could.
00:52:09Boop.
00:52:10Hey.
00:52:11Stick with me, Johnny.
00:52:12More company, honey.
00:52:13Don't get up, pumpkin.
00:52:15Keep selling your goodies.
00:52:16Hey.
00:52:17No.
00:52:18Pizza delivery for Hitler.
00:52:20Hitler?
00:52:21His, Hisler.
00:52:22Where are you going?
00:52:22Hey, wait a minute.
00:52:23Wait a minute, fellas.
00:52:24Wait a minute.
00:52:25I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:27$283.
00:52:27No, it won't be $283.
00:52:29I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:30Well, you order pizza, we bring you pizza.
00:52:33Hey, listen.
00:52:33You like pizza?
00:52:34Sure.
00:52:34Yeah, you like it, both.
00:52:36You bet?
00:52:36Okay.
00:52:37You eat the pizza.
00:52:41Where are you going?
00:52:43Can't you take a joke, mister?
00:52:45Yeah.
00:52:45Let's go.
00:52:46Tony, get that shotgun.
00:52:48Ah!
00:52:49Ah!
00:52:50Mommy, I'm coming.
00:52:51Can I have the rest of the pizzas?
00:53:02No, it's for me.
00:53:03No, it's for nobody.
00:53:04Get out of here, now.
00:53:06Come on.
00:53:07Yeah.
00:53:08Oh, my goodness.
00:53:09Oh, my goodness.
00:53:11Oh, my goodness.
00:53:13Land in it.
00:53:14Where are you going?
00:53:15I'm from DOA Exterminator.
00:53:16Here you got a problem with rodents.
00:53:18I got no rodents.
00:53:20I'm gonna take care of my own rodents.
00:53:22Ow!
00:53:22Ow!
00:53:24Ow!
00:53:24Ow!
00:53:25Ow!
00:53:26Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:28Ow!
00:53:29Oh, coach.
00:53:31We're even now.
00:53:31How do you turn this side off?
00:53:33Come on.
00:53:34Out of here.
00:53:35I'm coming.
00:53:36Where are you?
00:53:36I'm coming.
00:53:39I'm coming.
00:53:48I'm coming.
00:53:50I'm coming.
00:54:00I'm coming.
00:54:01How are you doing it?
00:54:03Yeah.
00:54:12I'm coming.
00:54:14There's no damage.
00:54:15You have this thing…
00:54:17and more proud,
00:54:18You use it.
00:54:18He made money to see you.
00:54:32I was really surprised.
00:54:35He's a good kid.
00:54:36I definitely want to see him, yeah.
00:54:39Fast like Homer Jones, remember Homer?
00:54:42Yeah, yeah.
00:54:4495 average, that's great.
00:54:48Well, let's have dinner next Tuesday.
00:54:50I gotta go.
00:54:50Next Tuesday, okay?
00:54:52I really have to go.
00:54:53Bye-bye.
00:54:54What do you say, coach?
00:54:56How you feel?
00:54:59Would you mind removing your fees from my desk, please?
00:55:01Oh, yeah.
00:55:04So I came here to do some business with you today, sir.
00:55:08I just got back from old Texas,
00:55:09ready to cut a very sweet, lucrative deal with me.
00:55:11Except the thing of it is, is I want to play here.
00:55:13I want to come to state.
00:55:18Johnny, we don't give out deals here.
00:55:22What?
00:55:23We give the usual scholarship.
00:55:26Room and board.
00:55:28A good education.
00:55:30Everyone has to actually go to class here.
00:55:34And I like to believe that we offer a good background in football.
00:55:37You know, we had a lot of players going to pro ball.
00:55:40That's nice, coach.
00:55:41But, uh, you're losing the top high school athletes every year.
00:55:46For a reason.
00:55:48What's that?
00:55:51Well, you're not giving them anything.
00:55:53You gotta show them something.
00:55:54They gotta see something.
00:55:55They gotta know that they're gonna get something.
00:55:56With cash, you know, cars, apartments, money.
00:56:01Hookups, you know what I mean?
00:56:03We're looking for benefits these days, coach.
00:56:06Look, Johnny.
00:56:07I like you.
00:56:08So I'm not gonna BS you.
00:56:11You're a good athlete.
00:56:13You have a lot of talent.
00:56:14And a lot of energy.
00:56:17So I'm warning you.
00:56:19You're getting into something that you don't understand.
00:56:22See, when worry goes out that a kid like yourself is looking for a deal,
00:56:26believe me, that deal turns out to be a lot stronger than that kid ever bargained for.
00:56:32Be careful.
00:56:34You're playing with fire.
00:57:06You're playing with fire.
00:57:07Are you crazy?
00:57:08My father sleeps with his gun.
00:57:15I heard you visited State.
00:57:20Does this mean the lobotomy's worn off?
00:57:28Well, since you're not going to speak, you will rub my feet.
00:57:37I mean, far be it for me to ask you to apologize when you have behaved like a complete son
00:57:41of a bitch.
00:57:42But, um...
00:57:44Look at all my days and niggas.
00:57:48I can't see you.
00:57:49Oh!
00:58:08Flowers that festers smell far worse than weeds.
00:58:13that means
00:58:15you stink.
00:58:20But it was sweet.
00:58:23I guess I am still sweet on you.
00:58:26I'll cut it in ten minutes.
00:58:29You're a bombshell.
00:58:37You see me!
00:58:39I'm going to text.
00:58:40I'm going to text.
00:58:42I'm going to text.
00:58:43I'm going to text.
00:58:44I'm going to text.
00:58:45I'm going to text.
00:58:46I'm going to text.
00:58:46I'm sorry.
00:58:47Go on.
00:58:50No real shots.
00:58:51No real shots.
00:58:58You wouldn't really use that.
00:58:59Yes, I would.
00:59:00You're not going to use that.
00:59:01Yes, sir, I would.
00:59:05Leo.
00:59:06What?
00:59:07What do you really want out of life, huh?
00:59:11I don't want Johnny Walker to go to California.
00:59:17All right, I'll go.
00:59:19You all right?
00:59:19Yes.
00:59:20Cool.
01:00:04Hey, how you doing, Johnny?
01:00:05Lou Landers, ICA.
01:00:07It's good to see you.
01:00:08Welcome to California.
01:00:09We've got a fine time planned for you, buddy.
01:00:11Listen, Lou.
01:00:12I'm here to meet the money man.
01:00:13I'm here on business, not pleasure.
01:00:15Well, I am the money man, Johnny.
01:00:17And I'll tell you something.
01:00:18I'm going to take you to meet the best quarterback in the country.
01:00:20A close personal friend of mine.
01:00:21Give me five, Johnny.
01:00:23Never touch.
01:00:43Jim McMahon wears Adidas.
01:00:57Either I wear Adidas, or I wear nothing.
01:01:02Almost nothing.
01:01:05And cut.
01:01:06Great.
01:01:07Beautiful.
01:01:08Amazing.
01:01:09Beautiful, Jim.
01:01:10Here you go, Jim.
01:01:11I don't know how you do it, Jim.
01:01:12Every time.
01:01:13Natural challenge.
01:01:14Back to the golf course again, huh?
01:01:15Okay, breath.
01:01:16The rest of the day, thank you, Johnny.
01:01:17Okay, just one more.
01:01:18Hey, you know, man.
01:01:19Thanks a lot, man.
01:01:20You bet, boss.
01:01:20Thanks, Bob.
01:01:22Jimmy.
01:01:23Jimmy, how you doing?
01:01:24Listen, I want you to meet Johnny Walker.
01:01:27What's up, Jimmy?
01:01:28How you doing, Johnny?
01:01:30Glad to see you're coming to UCC.
01:01:32Well, I haven't really made up my mind yet, but, uh,
01:01:34I'm damn glad to meet you, man.
01:01:36Hey, Jimmy, listen, I'm having a little party for my man tonight.
01:01:38Why don't you stop by the house, huh?
01:01:40Well, I'd love to, but, uh, you know, I promised my wife
01:01:43I wouldn't show up at your place anymore.
01:01:47What a kidder, huh?
01:01:49I love you, Jimmy.
01:01:50Hey, maybe next time, huh, babe?
01:01:53Hey, Lou.
01:01:54Yeah?
01:01:54Exactly.
01:01:55Did you notice how he had his hair done up right there?
01:01:57Yeah, it looks good.
01:01:58Just like mine, like you planned it for me, I think, almost.
01:01:59Listen, Johnny, let me tell you something serious, huh?
01:02:02If you play your cards right, you could be the next Adidas fan someday, huh?
01:02:04Lou, he had his hair hooked up just like mine.
01:02:06Come on, let's go to work.
01:02:061.45.
01:02:08Walker receives jacket from the lanterns.
01:02:10Over and out.
01:02:17I know I may, uh, I may talk 90% of the time, Johnny,
01:02:20but believe me, I only take 10% of the action.
01:02:24How you doing, Doc?
01:02:25Terrific, Lou.
01:02:26Terrific.
01:02:30Louie.
01:02:31Yeah?
01:02:32My mother's medicine counter was never like this.
01:02:35Don't worry about it, Johnny.
01:02:36You're not in Ashcroft anymore.
01:02:38We use only the finest steroids available.
01:02:40Oh.
01:02:42We have only one mindset here at UCC, Johnny, and that is that our boys are winners.
01:02:46Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:48That's right, boys.
01:02:48I love these guys like my own kids, Johnny.
01:02:51And because of that, I take better care of them than their own mommies do.
01:02:54Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:57We have the best training facilities in the country, Johnny, college or pro.
01:03:00I mean, our men are appreciated for the fine pieces of machinery that they are.
01:03:04What's up, Slate?
01:03:05Hey.
01:03:06Does he play here?
01:03:07No, no, no.
01:03:08He just pisses for the players, so they pass their drug test.
01:03:10It's a designated pisser, huh?
01:03:12Yeah.
01:03:12Okay, let's get you some threads for the party, huh, Johnny?
01:03:14Uh, all right.
01:03:16Move on totally.
01:03:17That's my page.
01:03:37Hi.
01:03:42Hi.
01:03:43I'm Tex Wade.
01:03:43I'm looking for Johnny Walker.
01:03:44Oh.
01:03:45Well, he hasn't got back from UCC yet.
01:03:48What the hell's he doing at UCC?
01:03:50Isn't he committed to old Tex?
01:03:51As far as I know, he hasn't committed to himself anywhere.
01:03:56Well, I hate to be the one enlightening, Grandpa, but you did not get that order for them 10,000
01:04:02walleye gibblers because they catch fish.
01:04:07What are you saying, mister?
01:04:10You figure it out, Grandpa.
01:04:27Oh, it's gonna be home.
01:04:28Thanks, everybody.
01:04:32Hey.
01:04:33Johnny Walker, baby.
01:04:34Johnny Walker.
01:04:36I stand accused of a social climber.
01:04:47Hey.
01:04:51Hey.
01:04:54Hey.
01:04:55Hey.
01:04:56How are you doing this now?
01:04:56Oh.
01:04:57Well, he used to, but we're real tight now.
01:04:59We just kind of woke up one morning and had breakfast, and now, you know, real solid.
01:05:04Things are real good.
01:05:05Uh, I look cleaner than the border hills, don't I?
01:05:09It kind of looks like a combo Liberace meets Prince's mom.
01:05:13But it's groovy.
01:05:15Oh.
01:05:16I will never concede, there is no second best.
01:05:21Do you remain unimpressed?
01:05:24Cause I've been there, done that.
01:05:28Bye now.
01:05:34What's happening, Chief?
01:05:36Where did you finally decide to go to college? Clown school?
01:05:41You know what you are, Chief? You're an officer of love.
01:05:43Not of law, of love you are.
01:05:53Do you dig it?
01:05:56It's a look.
01:05:59Yeah.
01:06:04It's from a small town, but had to get away.
01:06:08There's a boss snore all the way to South L.A.
01:06:18It's on the ocean, and drive a sports car.
01:06:22It's got your girlfriend fucking up the gas car.
01:06:27Mom, Mom, Johnny's lost his mind.
01:06:35What do you think?
01:06:43Mom, I gotta tell you about the school.
01:06:46UCC has a pre-med program.
01:06:48Absolutely blows Old Tex away.
01:06:49Not even in the running anymore, Old Tex.
01:06:51Because you know why?
01:06:52I'm gonna get about three times the lab time I had at Old Tex.
01:06:56Johnny, what has happened to you?
01:06:59Me? I'm great.
01:07:00Don't I look great?
01:07:01I feel great, Mom. I really do.
01:07:03UCC is a football factory, Johnny.
01:07:06Only about half the players there even graduate.
01:07:08What about your education?
01:07:11Mom, education, please, okay?
01:07:12Just please step off with that, okay?
01:07:15I want to tell you something.
01:07:16I have a much better deal here at UCC.
01:07:17They're working out a sweeter deal.
01:07:19And they're gonna take care of everything, guys.
01:07:21The way Old Tex took care of me.
01:07:26Come on, look.
01:07:27Everyone looks nauseous here now.
01:07:29I want to explain to you, okay?
01:07:31UCC has a better deal for me.
01:07:33They're gonna hook us up.
01:07:35Mom, you'll have a bigger house.
01:07:36I don't want a bigger house, Johnny.
01:07:38I want you to stop thinking about yourself
01:07:40and start thinking about what's right and about your family.
01:07:43We're the people who love you.
01:07:44Or maybe you've been too busy lear-jetting around to remember that.
01:07:48God, I mean, look at you.
01:07:50Purple and gold.
01:07:51You look ridiculous.
01:07:54I don't know how this could have happened.
01:07:58Maybe it was just too important a decision to leave up to you.
01:08:02Hey, Mom. Wait a second. Mom, can we...
01:08:12Come on, Gramps. Isn't this what you wanted?
01:08:15I wanted to sell my lures, not my grandson.
01:08:20Come on.
01:08:24Grant.
01:08:26Grant.
01:08:35What do you think, Randy? Come on, what's up?
01:08:38I'm gonna go do my homework and take a reality break.
01:08:57Johnny, I had a deep, revelatory vision, and I think you should drop this whole ridiculous college ball thing.
01:09:02And do what?
01:09:03Become a professional waiter.
01:09:05Like to develop a reputation as a bistro's most courteous server.
01:09:09Mm-hmm.
01:09:10And, of course, you're waiting for one night when the manager's relatives come in.
01:09:13Mm-hmm.
01:09:14You seat them, you serve them, you wine them, you dine them, you read them the specials.
01:09:17Right.
01:09:18You take the last of their orders.
01:09:19Right.
01:09:19And then you say, actually, it's the fish or nothing!
01:09:24Of course, at this point, they're all jamming for the door like wild.
01:09:27You tackle down around me ankles, you get them down on the ground, you pound them in the spine.
01:09:31You say, what, are you trying to stiff me on the gratuity, you fop?
01:09:34You see, she is your only move.
01:09:38You see, she is your ever most cool.
01:09:41Excuse me.
01:09:43We're new in town and we've never had sex before.
01:09:46Would you give us a hand?
01:09:50Up!
01:09:50Don't follow the dames.
01:09:53Don't follow the dames.
01:09:55Don't follow the dames.
01:09:57Leo.
01:09:58Leo, I want to go home.
01:09:59Leo.
01:10:00I started dating this Nancy girl specifically because she was a virgin.
01:10:06Well, milliseconds before initial penetration, I just shut up in bed like a reversed domino.
01:10:13And I just said, hey, hey, hey, hey, there'll be none of this.
01:10:16What kind of boy do you think I am?
01:10:18I will hardly pop you without having met your father.
01:10:21Get him on the horn.
01:10:22The things that make life worth so much and so worthwhile are things that we have to look up at
01:10:30a lot of times.
01:10:31It's clouds, it's stars, children.
01:10:34By the way, where is the can?
01:10:36I have to take an awful putrid asparagus piss.
01:10:40He says down the hall to the left.
01:10:43Well, that just really ticked me off.
01:10:44So I got up and I said, just a goddamn minute, that won't do.
01:10:47I run right up to the family drapes and proceed to write my surname on the manure.
01:10:52Well, mom bolts out of the lazy boy chair and comes over and delivers me a flurry, flurry of slaps.
01:10:57So I retaliate with a series of blows to her midriff and midsection that I usually reserve only for those
01:11:02times when I actually do see red.
01:11:04What?
01:11:05I'm a winner.
01:11:06Snap her spine like an all-blowing asshole.
01:11:08And so all these big money men, they're offering me this, this, this, and this.
01:11:11You know?
01:11:12Because I came home wearing, like, heels and gold.
01:11:15And my mother sat me down and she told me what the deal was, you know?
01:11:19And spoke her mind and I've been acting crazy.
01:11:21I really have.
01:11:23You haven't spent any time.
01:11:24You still conscious of your sister?
01:11:25She's talking.
01:11:27Completely sold enough.
01:11:29Before I tell you that, Wade.
01:11:30Let her go.
01:11:31It's been an hour.
01:11:32Look, I seem to have lockjaw of the arm.
01:11:41Love is a verb and I wish, uh, I wish, uh, I just get to it a lot more.
01:11:46Because I, I feel good when I, when I do.
01:11:49Say, are we gonna have sex or not?
01:12:02Matthew!
01:12:02Right!
01:12:03Right!
01:12:05Right!
01:12:07Right!
01:12:08Right!
01:12:09Right!
01:12:09Right!
01:12:11This is too good to be true.
01:12:16For who?
01:12:17You're going to the joint forever.
01:12:21What are you looking at, weirdo?
01:12:24Ouch.
01:12:30We gotta get out of here.
01:12:33Look, Lou Landers can get us out of here, right?
01:12:36But then you gotta go to UCC.
01:12:40You know Lou Landers?
01:12:42Of course. You think my dad bought me the Jeep?
01:12:45You kidding? Lou Landers bought me the Jeep.
01:12:47UCC got it for me. He tried to get you to go to their school.
01:12:53So you set me up?
01:12:56No, I didn't set you up. I just pushed you in a direction.
01:12:59Trying to do the right thing for you.
01:13:01You set me up. You didn't tell me.
01:13:02Well, if I told you, you would have said no.
01:13:04Then I still wouldn't have been setting you up.
01:13:07I just, you know...
01:13:10I just made a mistake.
01:13:12I got, uh...
01:13:16selfish.
01:13:19Me too.
01:13:29Oh, this is terrible.
01:13:30This is, this is awful.
01:13:32This is really awful.
01:13:34This is a serious mess.
01:13:36Does the phrase bail us out immediately mean anything to you?
01:13:40Bail?
01:13:42There's your bail.
01:13:44That's your ticket out of here, right there.
01:13:47All he has to do is sign with Piermont.
01:13:49You're on the street.
01:13:51Otherwise, boys, you're looking at 20 years in the slammer with all the butt pirates.
01:13:56And they say they're waiting for you up there, Johnny.
01:13:57Want to give you a little hiney poke up there.
01:14:01Coach, I know I'm a man, okay?
01:14:03My asshole's exit only, and we really didn't do anything wrong.
01:14:07You want sympathy, Leo?
01:14:08You look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
01:14:12Oh, no, you're gonna like it.
01:14:13You're gonna love it on the road gang.
01:14:15Out there with the cons cutting that grass.
01:14:17Oh, yeah.
01:14:18Oh, oh.
01:14:20All the pretty girls be going by in the convertibles, you know, on spring break.
01:14:24Drinking beer.
01:14:25They'll be waving at you.
01:14:26Hi, Johnny.
01:14:28Johnny.
01:14:30It's up to you, John.
01:14:32Put your foot in the chain gang, or you can put your foot in the cash register.
01:14:38You let me know.
01:14:42Don't drop the soap, boys.
01:14:49Hello, everyone.
01:14:50I'm Gary DeLon.
01:14:51Today, throughout the country, hundreds of boys will be signing their national letters of intent.
01:14:55Now, these letters are commitments by high school seniors to play for the college of their choice.
01:15:00Today, there's no place across the country that has more media coverage and more attention than right here, Ashcroft High
01:15:05School.
01:15:05We're here at Ashcroft High School.
01:15:08It's signing day.
01:15:09Now, Johnny Walker has just arrived to sign his national letter of intent.
01:15:12In just a very few short moments, the entire country will know where Johnny Walker has decided to play his
01:15:18college football.
01:15:19Glad to see you boys could be here for the announcement.
01:15:23Sure hope none of us are disappointed.
01:15:25Something sure don't smell right here.
01:15:57Thank you very much.
01:15:58Now, we've also landed four of the top blue-chip prospects in this country, and are all here today.
01:16:04Come on up, folks.
01:16:06All right.
01:16:10All right.
01:16:14This is not about me.
01:16:15I'm only as good as my players, believe me.
01:16:18Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the men of the hour, Johnny Walker.
01:16:40Throughout this recruitment, I've acted like an idiot.
01:16:45I completely embarrassed my mother, my family, my girlfriend, my friends.
01:16:53Mostly, I just embarrassed myself.
01:16:58Because I thought I had something, and I lost it.
01:17:03If this is what it takes to play college football, then I don't even want to play at all.
01:17:10Just because I know how to, uh, remember to throw a ball, doesn't mean, uh, I should forget my life.
01:17:19Or anyone else's.
01:17:23Therefore, I'm not going to sign any letters to any schools.
01:17:27Now, that's reality.
01:17:30You just move in your running socks and you are going to the pier.
01:17:33I'm not.
01:17:34He doesn't go.
01:17:35I don't go.
01:17:36I'm with him.
01:17:36Wait a minute, brother.
01:17:37Hold on, brother.
01:17:38Piermont University will honor all its commitments.
01:17:41No, I promise you that.
01:17:42Slight misunderstanding, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:44Bear with us.
01:17:46Who are you?
01:17:46Who are you?
01:17:47My name is Floyd Gondoli.
01:17:49I am the NCAA recruitment investigator.
01:17:52And I have followed the recruitment of Johnny Walker since day one.
01:17:56And I am now calling for a complete investigation of UCC, Old Tex, and specifically, Piermont.
01:18:05We didn't do anything wrong.
01:18:06You call framing a kid for rape, not wrong?
01:18:10Give me a brief.
01:18:10Oh, I'm framing a kid for rape?
01:18:11What about?
01:18:12You're both history.
01:18:13Of course not.
01:18:13You're both finished.
01:18:14Oh, this is ridiculous.
01:18:15Congratulations, John.
01:18:16I'm proud of you.
01:18:17Ladies and gentlemen, this is the kid.
01:18:20Hey, Johnny, I'm proud of you.
01:18:22You did good, kid.
01:18:23So, uh, what are you going to do now?
01:18:26Penn State, Johnny.
01:18:27Penn State.
01:18:27Penn State.
01:18:28Alabama.
01:18:29Remember the weather.
01:18:30Listen, Johnny, nobody, and I mean nobody makes a schmuck out of me.
01:18:34Confish?
01:18:34Nobody has to, Lou.
01:18:36Is that right?
01:18:38Oh, you going down now, Lou?
01:18:40Oh, you done made a big mistake.
01:18:41No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:18:43No, no, no, no.
01:18:45No, big job!
01:18:48Yeah, I'm a bad, I'm a bad guy.
01:18:53I wish I could help.
01:18:54Not a fighter, I'm a stud.
01:19:13Get out of here!
01:19:13Thank you, my friend.
01:19:14Good move, man.
01:19:17Let's get out of here.
01:19:22Get back here!
01:19:23Get out of here!
01:19:24Walker, Walker, get back here!
01:19:29Get down, Rick.
01:19:30Never did like that, fella.
01:19:45Coach.
01:19:46Coach.
01:20:08I want an education.
01:20:13I saw the news conference last night, Johnny.
01:20:16Yeah?
01:20:16Mm-hmm.
01:20:21What'd you think?
01:20:24Showed the type of character that we like in our students.
01:20:27I like that.
01:20:30Does this mean, uh, you want me to come play ball here?
01:20:38You bet I do.
01:21:02You bet I do.
01:21:05You're all miles around?
01:21:06You'll hear your music when the sun go down.
01:21:09Maybe some day, your name will be in light, saying...
01:21:12Johnny, keep doing it right now.
01:21:14Go!
01:21:15Go!
01:21:16Go!
01:21:17Go!
01:21:18Go!
01:21:20Go!
01:21:21Go!
01:21:22Go!
01:21:23Go!
01:21:29Go!
01:21:52The Johnny Walker recruitment scandal widened today
01:21:58with the announcement that UCC and Old Tex have each been placed on one-year probation.
01:22:06Well, Joe Bob, thank God basketball season's right around the corner.
01:22:10Yeah, you man's that, Tex.
01:22:12You know, football ain't been good to us this year.
01:22:15Oh, man.
01:22:21In a still further development,
01:22:24Lou Landers has been bought from participating in the UCC football program for life.
01:22:33You got one out?
01:22:34We'll take care of it for you.
01:22:36Hey, just go down for a minute.
01:22:38I just want to talk to you.
01:22:39Lou Landers gave me that team.
01:22:41No!
01:22:54This is a pack of lines!
01:22:56A pack of lines!
01:22:58How are you going, huh?
01:23:00No, no, no, no.
01:23:04Get the hell out of me!
01:23:06I'm going to play.
01:23:07Go, go.
01:23:10Go, Johnny, go.
01:23:13Go, go.
01:23:16Go, Johnny, go.
01:23:19Johnny the girl.
01:23:24Go, Johnny.
01:23:35Go, Johnny.
01:24:09Go, Johnny.
01:24:59Go, Johnny.
01:25:06Go, Johnny.
01:25:08Go, Johnny.
01:25:13Go, Johnny.
01:25:14Go, Johnny.
01:25:16Go, Johnny.
01:25:20Go, Johnny.
01:25:21Go, Johnny.
01:25:23Go, Johnny.
01:25:32Go, Johnny.
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