- 17 hours ago
Johnny Be Good (1988) Full Movie HD [x9pw0zs] [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28You
00:00:31Dear Lord, we pray that we may win this game today.
00:00:36We ask that you give us the strength and the courage
00:00:40to win our second straight state championship.
00:00:44We ask, Lord, that nobody on our side is seriously injured.
00:00:51We know in our hearts, Lord, that we are the best team.
00:00:59We ask that you allow us to win this game.
00:01:07The Lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it.
00:01:12Because that's what wins football games.
00:01:15Not jumping off sides like a bunch of wimps and faggots.
00:01:21All right, lift your heads, boys. Prayer's over.
00:01:23I talk to God. I'm through talking to God.
00:01:26Now I'm talking to you.
00:01:28You're gonna be out there in front of your families, student body.
00:01:32Every girl you ever had a heart on for is gonna be out there today,
00:01:35but you will not be going to no sock hop tonight, boys.
00:01:38You will not get no honey on your stinger tonight
00:01:40if you don't go out there and bust your ass.
00:01:45Because this is it.
00:01:48This is the big one.
00:01:51I want you to taste it.
00:01:54I want you to smell it, son.
00:02:01There's winners. And there's nothing else.
00:02:04I don't give a shit what those pinkos over in Russia say.
00:02:07You want to be a loser, you go live in Russia.
00:02:10I'm not a loser. I'm a winner.
00:02:14I'm an American.
00:02:16Who wants to be John Wayne?
00:02:17Who wants to go out there and grab a root and hang on?
00:02:21Who wants to get a mean on?
00:02:23Get a mean on, son.
00:02:25Let me see you get a mean on, son.
00:02:28Who wants it? I want to know.
00:02:29Who wants this? Who wants to get a mean on right now?
00:02:33Who wants it?
00:02:34I want it! I want it!
00:03:04Oh, boy!
00:03:05Oh, boy!
00:03:05Oh, boy!
00:03:06Oh, boy!
00:03:06Oh, boy!
00:03:06Oh, boy!
00:03:07Oh, boy!
00:03:07Oh, boy!
00:03:07Good job, man!
00:03:08The bride of Ascroft High, Johnny Walker!
00:03:13Hut!
00:03:21I'm going to play football now!
00:03:23Yes, sir!
00:03:24Coach?
00:03:25This is the last game of the season.
00:03:26You could maybe get in for a couple of minutes.
00:03:28You want to play?
00:03:30Yes.
00:03:30Please.
00:03:32No, you don't.
00:03:35Hut!
00:03:36Hut!
00:03:38Hut!
00:03:41Hut!
00:03:42Hut!
00:03:43Hut!
00:03:58Hut!
00:04:00Hut!
00:04:05Hut!
00:04:05Hut!
00:04:05Hut!
00:04:06Hut!
00:04:06Hut!
00:04:07Hut!
00:04:08Hut!
00:04:11Gash, give him a punt sign, will you?
00:04:19Walker, kick the ball!
00:04:21Kick it!
00:04:36Another record for Walker!
00:04:37You see what I'm looking for?
00:04:39Five-second hang time?
00:04:45It is, we're going in, fellas.
00:04:48Are you?
00:04:52With that completion to Michael Stanley,
00:04:55Walker has just done a nice little high school record!
00:04:5811.35, Gibson's out of his car and into the stadium.
00:05:03Out in it!
00:05:03Oh!
00:05:09Coach!
00:05:11That offer still stands.
00:05:13My answer's still no.
00:05:16Do it for us, for the singles!
00:05:18We're calling to play, here, Walker!
00:05:20I think the score's 52-0.
00:05:23What can we do to get Gash in the game?
00:05:25I got it!
00:05:26Let's lose five!
00:05:27Right!
00:05:30Push it in!
00:05:31I want another score!
00:05:32Let's go!
00:05:33Back down!
00:05:34I want another score!
00:05:37Oh, it's coming!
00:05:40I'm going down!
00:05:41Oh, it's the leg!
00:05:41I'm down!
00:05:43What's he doing?
00:05:43What's Walker doing?
00:05:45Uh-oh!
00:05:46I think I broke my dick!
00:05:48Ow!
00:05:49Oh, no!
00:05:50Not as George!
00:05:51He's down!
00:05:52Walk it down!
00:05:52Jack!
00:05:53Jack!
00:05:53Give me Jack!
00:05:54Get in the game, Jack!
00:05:56Put it in the end zone!
00:05:57First time!
00:05:58What's the matter?
00:05:59I broke my dick, Coach.
00:06:00I rub some dirt on it and get back in there.
00:06:02It's broken!
00:06:04You go left.
00:06:05You go right.
00:06:06I'll run.
00:06:07Run!
00:06:13Oh!
00:06:14All run!
00:06:17Oh, Jack!
00:06:18Jack!
00:06:19Throw your navel in the ground, will ya?
00:06:22Hey, Juicy.
00:06:23What's your name in the paper?
00:06:24Put it in the end zone!
00:06:24Hi, Johnny.
00:06:25Would you mind taking off your underpants real quick and going to stand over there?
00:06:27Sure.
00:06:28Anything for you.
00:06:33235, cheerleader taking her yellow panties off.
00:06:37Over and out.
00:06:39Hey, guys.
00:06:40Juicy Dorfman isn't wearing any underpants.
00:06:43Whoo!
00:06:43Yeah!
00:06:45Whoo!
00:06:46Ooh.
00:06:48So...
00:06:49Left 46 on the first sound.
00:06:53Ready?
00:06:54Break!
00:06:55Break!
00:07:01Oh, I see.
00:07:03That girl's not wearing any underwear.
00:07:05What?
00:07:06Whoa!
00:07:06Which one?
00:07:07Hey!
00:07:08Check it out!
00:07:09Ow!
00:07:12Ow!
00:07:14Ow!
00:07:14Ow!
00:07:14Ow!
00:07:15Ow!
00:07:16Ow!
00:07:17Ow!
00:07:19Ow!
00:07:29Ow!
00:07:31Ow!
00:07:39And Rock High has just won their second-to-second state football championship.
00:07:45Congratulations to Coach Wayne Hisler and especially to everyone's high school All-American Johnny Walker.
00:08:17Hello? Hey, Johnny. Glad I could get to you. This is how it goes, sir.
00:08:22You were just tremendous out there today. I've never seen a better performance at the high school level.
00:08:29We should go to an Ivy League school by the name of Yale University, in my opinion, young man.
00:08:37Have you thought about such a thing?
00:08:39Is this really you, Howard?
00:08:41Howard? Jesus.
00:08:42This is how it comes out.
00:08:44Does anybody in America like you? Huh?
00:08:48Oh, shit. Sorry.
00:08:53My boys, my boys. All right.
00:08:56It's worth the victory, huh? It's worth the victory.
00:08:59Yes, sir.
00:09:03Johnny, Johnny, listen to me, man. Sign with me, I will make you a star.
00:09:07Now, ignore all these other guys, man. They're a bunch of athletic pimps.
00:09:10Trust me, athletic pimps. Look at the way they dress, man.
00:09:12Write your own ticket. I'll give you anything you want.
00:09:14Bring, bring! Ha! Puerto Rico!
00:09:16Johnny, Johnny, just tell me what you want, and I'll get you two of them.
00:09:19What do you like? You like girls?
00:09:20I like your head.
00:09:21You got it.
00:09:23What else? Ice cream? Cultural pursuit?
00:09:26What?
00:09:26I got to have you, Johnny.
00:09:28I got to have you.
00:09:29TV coverage.
00:09:30I can offer you TV every single day.
00:09:32TV.
00:09:34I got what you want.
00:09:35I got what you want.
00:09:37You get right in that style of offense, boy.
00:09:39You're gonna start right away. Right away.
00:09:41If you get what you want to do, play football. Right, boy?
00:09:43I got it.
00:09:48I got it.
00:09:49I got it.
00:09:50I got it.
00:09:50I got it.
00:09:50I got it.
00:09:51I got it.
00:09:51I got it.
00:09:52I got it.
00:09:52Hold on.
00:09:53Smurfs.
00:09:54Smurf.
00:09:55Smurf patrol.
00:09:56Hi.
00:09:58Get off my feet.
00:09:59Watch your toes.
00:10:01Okay.
00:10:01Don't I know your mom?
00:10:02What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:04Georgia.
00:10:05What?
00:10:06Say that again?
00:10:07What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:10Let me tell you something.
00:10:11These girls are gonna be beautiful grown women in about two minutes.
00:10:13You shouldn't really say it at all.
00:10:14Brain!
00:10:15Move away from my daughter, Walker.
00:10:18You tell me you're still pissed off because I brought you home a day late.
00:10:21Don't tell me that.
00:10:22Is that what happened?
00:10:23Huh?
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:25Huh?
00:10:26Donna.
00:10:26What?
00:10:27Who was it?
00:10:30You can't really cover those up at all.
00:10:34What?
00:10:35It's a given one.
00:10:40Get your mouth off her, Walker.
00:10:43Let's go, Georgia.
00:10:45Now!
00:10:50I'll see you later.
00:10:53Very good.
00:10:53You love me.
00:10:54Mm-hmm.
00:10:58I can't say anything but thank you.
00:11:01We're talking success here.
00:11:03Over here, boys!
00:11:04Johnny!
00:11:05Keep on the system!
00:11:11Excuse me.
00:11:12Excuse me.
00:11:12Excuse me.
00:11:13I'm sorry.
00:11:13I can't talk.
00:11:14Watch the jacket.
00:11:16We'll talk later.
00:11:17Okay.
00:11:17Long.
00:11:19Much less of the lies.
00:11:21More of the pride.
00:11:22Okay.
00:11:22The platformer.
00:11:23From the microstocker.
00:11:24All right.
00:11:25See you.
00:11:25Back off.
00:11:26Goodbye, Daniel.
00:11:28Thanks, Walker.
00:11:30Do you think these recruiters would all want you as much if they knew you're afraid of the dark?
00:11:35I'm not afraid of the dark.
00:11:37Well, I mean, it's okay.
00:11:37I'm not going to spill the beans that you sleep with a nightlight.
00:11:42I don't need a nightlight.
00:11:43Come on.
00:11:44Yes, you do.
00:11:44It's okay.
00:11:45You're a punk.
00:11:46Accept it.
00:11:47All right.
00:11:47I accept it.
00:11:49So what?
00:11:51So?
00:11:54You can't hit me again.
00:11:55Oh.
00:11:57Right here.
00:12:03I feel good now.
00:12:05Leo, it's time you and me moved on big time, pal.
00:12:08Big time scholarships.
00:12:09You see, she.
00:12:10Big time contacts.
00:12:11You see, she.
00:12:11Big deals.
00:12:12You see, she is the place for you.
00:12:14Hey, did I ever tell you about Coach Jesus' wife?
00:12:16No.
00:12:16You see, she.
00:12:16Woman has a set of chihuahuas.
00:12:18Can someone sneak in round the corner?
00:12:24Could that someone be back in the night?
00:12:30Against the tugboat.
00:12:32Hup, hup.
00:12:33Down by the river, don't you know?
00:12:36Where's the men back?
00:12:39Just droopin' droopin' on down.
00:12:42Getting really good, Wayne.
00:12:43I just love your singing.
00:12:46Thank you, baby.
00:12:46You know, I was reading at the market today that we all come from another world.
00:12:52And we choose in that world who we want to be in this world.
00:12:56And we're all connected by a common cosmic thread.
00:13:00That's right, honey.
00:13:01That's true.
00:13:02What time are you going to work?
00:13:03After I make dinner for you and clean up.
00:13:06Do you realize that we're living nine lives simultaneously?
00:13:10Of course.
00:13:13Listen, sweet cake.
00:13:14Yes?
00:13:15On your way back from work, would you pick up my yellow suit for the cleaners?
00:13:19Okay.
00:13:19No problem.
00:13:21It's near that bakery that makes that black bundle bread you love so much.
00:13:25Yes.
00:13:38Hello.
00:13:38Coach Isler's house?
00:13:39Is he in?
00:13:41I think so.
00:13:43May I?
00:13:43Oh, sure.
00:13:44Just follow the sound to the music.
00:13:47Yeah.
00:13:48Whoo.
00:13:49Look out.
00:13:50Oh, b'lottie Lydia.
00:13:52And old Lucy Brown.
00:13:56Oh, the...
00:13:56Chancellor, how are you?
00:13:58Good to see you again, sir.
00:14:00How about that game today, huh?
00:14:02Nice.
00:14:02Walker was everything you said he was.
00:14:04Yes.
00:14:05Mm-hmm.
00:14:05What do I do to get him to go to Pyramont?
00:14:07I just want you to sit down and relax and enjoy my home.
00:14:10You're gonna have dinner with us, aren't you?
00:14:11I don't think we have enough salmon patties, Wayne.
00:14:17What the heck?
00:14:19Break out the fish sticks, honey.
00:14:21Oh, okay.
00:14:22Darling, some of that sparkling fruit wine.
00:14:26Mwah!
00:14:26Come on.
00:14:27Have a seat, please, Chancellor.
00:14:30Look, Coach, I didn't get to become president of Pyramont University by mincing words.
00:14:35My backers are getting impatient.
00:14:37They want success this year.
00:14:39They want to win.
00:14:40I want Walker.
00:14:42I'm the key to Walker, obviously.
00:14:45Obviously you are.
00:14:46What is it you want?
00:14:48Name your price.
00:14:51I want to be the new head coach at Pyramont University.
00:14:53Is that all?
00:14:54No, I want a five-year no-cut contract.
00:14:57Weekly television show.
00:14:58Membership in the country club, et cetera.
00:14:59All the usual perks.
00:15:00The main thing is that Walker is gonna go where I tell him to go.
00:15:05Or he's not going anywhere.
00:15:07That's a fact.
00:15:09You can guarantee that?
00:15:12Kid loves me.
00:15:14You know, it's...
00:15:15I'm like a father to him, really.
00:15:18I guess they're such an asshole.
00:15:22Johnny.
00:15:23I've been having all these twisted visions lately.
00:15:27So they will know me.
00:15:30Well, I was thinking about developing like a deep personal relationship with a psychiatrist, you know, very tight.
00:15:36And then one day, just while he's complimenting me on all the headway progress I'm making in the area of
00:15:41my obsessive fear of torque wrenches, just cut him off mid-sense and say,
00:15:45Hey, hey, whoops!
00:15:47Why am I angry at you today?
00:15:49He gets all Germanic on me and goes,
00:15:51Well, I think that it stems.
00:15:53Well, it stems from nothing.
00:15:55That's a trick question.
00:15:56I take his PhD off the wall and beat him about the head and shoulders with it for about an
00:16:01hour.
00:16:01And then I whisper softly in his ear,
00:16:04I'd like to pay for my next 20 visits in advance.
00:16:07Oh, that's right.
00:16:18Donny, I'll be all you can be.
00:16:27For $81.50 a month after taxes?
00:16:29Exactly.
00:16:30No, I don't think so.
00:16:31Thank you, though.
00:16:31Notre Dame, my son.
00:16:33Father, how you doing?
00:16:34Father, aren't you going to be late for a mass or something?
00:16:36Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.
00:16:37Alabama is football. Alabama's where you should be.
00:16:39Penn State is always in the top ten.
00:16:41We kicked Alabama's butt last year.
00:16:43That was one game. It's freezing in Penn State.
00:16:45It's a normal climate.
00:16:47Normal? Normal if you're a SEAL or an ESCII model.
00:16:49It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:51It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:57Leo, Leo.
00:16:59My school has a buddy system.
00:17:00Johnny goes there, all of his buddies get to go there too, first class.
00:17:03Boy buddies, girl buddies, everybody.
00:17:06I'm ready for college and corruption.
00:17:08My school doesn't do that, Leo.
00:17:10It just exists in your imagination.
00:17:12Well, I have grand imagination.
00:17:15How about ten grand?
00:17:25Leo, more chicken?
00:17:26I'll just get the rest to go, please.
00:17:28Right.
00:17:29Anything, Johnny, anything.
00:17:31I love you.
00:17:33Let's set it tight.
00:17:36I'm free tonight.
00:17:39I can't believe the ball guy is still here.
00:17:41Mm-hmm.
00:17:42It's crazy out there.
00:17:43Come here, honey.
00:17:44Well, it's crazy in here, too.
00:17:46There you go.
00:17:46But I like it.
00:17:47Yep.
00:17:48My lures are selling my car ticks, especially like my walleye gibbler.
00:17:53This is exciting, though, isn't it?
00:17:54It's original, huh?
00:17:55Oh, honey, I'm proud of you.
00:17:57I really am.
00:17:58You've worked hard for this for a long time.
00:18:00Thank you, Mom.
00:18:01You know I couldn't have done it without you.
00:18:04I'm glad you know it, because it's true.
00:18:06That's why one day very soon I'm going to work hard enough.
00:18:09You're not going to have to work again, Mom.
00:18:11I don't mind working, Johnny.
00:18:13It's a decent way to make a living.
00:18:16Well, I know you don't mind.
00:18:17That's why I do.
00:18:19Where's Georgia today?
00:18:21Yeah, where is she?
00:18:23She's grounded.
00:18:24Why?
00:18:26For knowing me.
00:18:28Yes, I can understand that.
00:18:31You're popping off, Mom, huh?
00:18:33You ready for a little pee in the head, Mom?
00:18:35Will you stop?
00:18:36No, wait.
00:18:36Now, don't you...
00:18:37You want another one?
00:18:37Here it is.
00:18:38Oh, he's going to get alive now, huh?
00:18:39Don't you dare.
00:18:39All right.
00:18:40Stop.
00:18:41Hey.
00:18:43All right.
00:18:43That's it.
00:18:44That's it.
00:18:44No dessert.
00:18:46What can I do?
00:18:47So, Ray, what did you think of the game?
00:18:49You looked goofy.
00:18:52You looked what?
00:18:54Goofy.
00:18:55You didn't look in the mirror today.
00:18:56You know why?
00:18:57Because you don't have any teeth.
00:18:58So, when you get some front teeth,
00:18:59then you can tell me how goofy I look.
00:19:01Until that moment comes along,
00:19:02you can't say anything.
00:19:03Okay?
00:19:04Okay?
00:19:05Do you hear me?
00:19:06Say it.
00:19:07Say, I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:08I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:09Say, I hear you, big brother.
00:19:10I hear you, big brother.
00:19:11Say, you are my man.
00:19:12You are my man.
00:19:15No, she just ate.
00:19:17But much more importantly,
00:19:18what about Leo's first touchdown ever?
00:19:20You looked good today.
00:19:22Once I got the right direction going, man.
00:19:24Why didn't you ever eat at your house, Leo?
00:19:27Why?
00:19:28Well, I think it's basically because my parents hate me.
00:19:32And they've accused me of carrying an ammonia-filled tentacle around with me.
00:19:37Which, of course, I do not.
00:19:39What is this, the funny farm?
00:19:44I don't understand why they hate you.
00:19:48Johnny, my boy.
00:19:49Now, listen.
00:19:50You've got to get organized, you know.
00:19:52Now, you've had calls from Michigan,
00:19:55UCC,
00:19:56Piermont and Old Tex,
00:19:58LSU and Kansas,
00:20:00and Cornell.
00:20:01What do you think, Mom?
00:20:02I mean, do I call these people back?
00:20:04Well, superstar,
00:20:06you can start by clearing the table
00:20:08and helping me with the dishes.
00:20:12Nice little reality break for Mom there, huh?
00:20:14Isn't that nice?
00:20:15Well, you're at home now, sir.
00:20:16Thank you, Grant.
00:20:17Yeah!
00:20:18Listen, I'm a hooker.
00:20:19And you, I...
00:20:20I'm not going to catch a single monkfish
00:20:22if you had to.
00:20:23See you later.
00:20:24Have a ball.
00:20:25A monkfish?
00:20:26A fish.
00:20:27A fish.
00:20:27A fish.
00:20:29Two, two, three, four.
00:20:32One.
00:20:35One.one.
00:20:51Let's go.
00:21:07Let's go.
00:21:17Let's go.
00:21:32Let's go.
00:21:34Family's really nice.
00:21:35Your mom's a terrible cook.
00:21:40Where are we going now?
00:21:42Georgia's.
00:21:43Really?
00:21:44I thought you was grounded.
00:21:45I'm on ground again.
00:21:46Let's go.
00:21:46Let's go.
00:21:47Let's go.
00:21:47Let's go.
00:22:05Let's go.
00:22:08Chihuahua.
00:22:11I thought her parents hated you.
00:22:13This would be embarrassing.
00:22:14Yeah.
00:22:15Well, she digs me.
00:22:16His father is the one who I have problems with.
00:22:17Hmm.
00:22:18Well, she'll come around.
00:22:20Mrs.
00:22:22Elkins.
00:22:23Good evening.
00:22:24Um, is Georgia home?
00:22:26Yes.
00:22:27And that's where she's going to stay.
00:22:31Hmm.
00:22:31Hmm.
00:22:33I just felt the love beam.
00:22:35She loves me.
00:22:45Freeze, dirtbags!
00:22:47I don't want you sniffing around my daughter, Walker.
00:22:50What's shaking, Chief?
00:22:51Chief, how the hell is patrol?
00:22:54You're in big trouble, Walker.
00:22:56Chief, you can't keep me away from your daughter.
00:22:59I'm going to keep you away from her forever.
00:23:01How are you going to do that, Chief?
00:23:03We're going to settle this thing once and for all.
00:23:05I can't just beat the shit out of you.
00:23:07So we're going to have us a little game of football.
00:23:09And I'm going to hurt you.
00:23:11I'm going to play with these two men right here.
00:23:14These men right here?
00:23:16Okay, hold up.
00:23:16Let me get a head count for a second here.
00:23:18You got one, two, three, four.
00:23:21Oh, that's a little unfair, isn't it, Chief?
00:23:22Well, then you can play with the big cheese.
00:23:25Oh, now I like it.
00:23:26Chief, one last thing.
00:23:27Once we kick your butt, George is mine.
00:23:30Well, then, just to make it fair,
00:23:32you're going to get to play with one hand behind your back.
00:23:36Isn't that cute?
00:23:37Chief, you don't play with one hand, do you?
00:23:44Let's bless the ball.
00:23:45Ah, little pooper.
00:23:47For the troopers.
00:23:53Oh.
00:23:54Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:24:00Rotten little piss heads.
00:24:02Wooo!
00:24:03Jack 10.
00:24:04Go!
00:24:06Go!
00:24:06Put your feet away, let municipals!
00:24:08Go!
00:24:08Cheerleaders?
00:24:10Cheerleaders?
00:24:11Ro Collins!
00:24:13I got it, my darling.
00:24:15One, one, two, three!
00:24:17See you!
00:24:32Guess what, Trooper, Albert?
00:24:34That's what!
00:24:44Can I shoot you my knee, please?
00:24:52Nice catch, Trooper.
00:24:56Hey, Trooper!
00:24:59Get him out of here!
00:25:01Oh, my God!
00:25:07Hey, Batman! Get out of here!
00:25:10I'm out of here!
00:25:11I'm out of here!
00:25:13I'm out of here!
00:25:15I'm out of here!
00:25:17I'm out of here!
00:25:18Look at him go. Look at the cheese.
00:25:21Wait a second. It's a $20 ball. It's a game ball.
00:25:24Let's get him.
00:25:25Get out of here!
00:25:26Get out of here!
00:25:35It started last weekend
00:25:4010-38. This movie is shit.
00:26:0510-38. This movie is shit.
00:26:10Johnny!
00:26:12Now that I'm homeless, what do you plan to do with me?
00:26:15I'm gonna love you.
00:26:18I'm gonna marry you.
00:26:22And that should take care of about 60 years.
00:26:27Is that a threat or a promise?
00:26:29That's a threat.
00:26:33I'm getting old, though.
00:26:34Yeah, real old, Johnny.
00:26:36I'm serious.
00:26:38Next thing you know, I'll be on the beach.
00:26:41That big belly.
00:26:43Sporting a bikini underwear.
00:26:45Just walking.
00:26:48Then comes gray hair.
00:26:51Comes ear hair coming out of my ears.
00:26:54Then comes white hair.
00:26:55Then comes no hair.
00:26:57Then comes no teeth.
00:26:58Then, boom!
00:26:59You're 70 years old.
00:27:01Or 80.
00:27:04Nature.
00:27:07I'll be there.
00:27:20You kids having a good time?
00:27:26Hey, John.
00:27:27Johnny ball game.
00:27:29All right.
00:27:30Now, I don't mean to interrupt you.
00:27:31I just want you to know, John,
00:27:33there's a lot of phony hype with all these schools.
00:27:36Now, I know you better than you know yourself.
00:27:38And right now, the best situation for you is Piermont.
00:27:43Oh, yeah, Coach?
00:27:44Really?
00:27:45Yeah.
00:27:46Can I tell him you'll come down for a visit this weekend?
00:27:48Coach.
00:27:52You beat my horse if you never even ran a race.
00:27:56Okay?
00:27:56I'll be there.
00:27:58Johnny ball game.
00:27:59Okay.
00:28:00I'll have him send you a plane ticket.
00:28:02Yeah.
00:28:04You know I've always been fond of you, kid.
00:28:06Thank you, Coach.
00:28:07I'm fond of your pacer.
00:28:10I'm most fond of that.
00:28:12Hey.
00:28:13You could have one of these someday.
00:28:15Don't tease me, Coach.
00:28:22It's the last damn school I've ever visited in my life.
00:28:25Johnny, why are you visiting all these schools?
00:28:29I thought we planned to go to state.
00:28:32To be together.
00:28:35I can't just ignore the opportunity to go see schools.
00:28:38See the country.
00:28:41You wouldn't want that.
00:28:44Mm-mm.
00:28:45Come on.
00:28:47You get that look on your face.
00:28:48Let me get a kiss, please.
00:28:49Like, you know.
00:28:50Let me get a Georgia fish kiss.
00:28:53Come get it.
00:28:57Get it?
00:29:00Come on.
00:29:03Ooh.
00:29:24That's the way to travel, ain't it, soldier?
00:29:26Well, you see the country here?
00:29:28First class bucket seats.
00:29:31Price is right, too, huh?
00:29:33Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:29:35Huh.
00:29:36What, are you a private?
00:29:38Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:40You mind?
00:29:41Hey.
00:29:42This is a family bus here.
00:29:44Hey, Slim.
00:29:45Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:46Hey, Slim.
00:29:47Hey, knock it off, will ya?
00:30:03I wonder if that's the old text plane.
00:30:04Have you seen a lot of commercial airlines that look like the flying horny toad?
00:30:07No.
00:30:19Get off that.
00:30:20No.
00:30:21Please.
00:30:26Hi, how y'all doing?
00:30:27How you doing?
00:30:28Good to see you.
00:30:29My name's Tex Wade.
00:30:30I'm gonna be your host for the weekend.
00:30:32I'm gonna make sure you get everything you want from your visit to old Tex.
00:30:36Well, thank you, Tex.
00:30:37You got a lot of style, Tex.
00:30:39How about a little something to blur your vision, Johnny?
00:30:43No thanks, Tex.
00:30:44Well, then, hop in.
00:30:45Okay.
00:30:46Bye, Georgia.
00:30:47Johnny.
00:30:48Be good.
00:30:53Come on in, Tex.
00:30:56Georgia, can you see his boots?
00:30:59See you, Georgia.
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:04Just kidding, Tex.
00:31:05Ah!
00:31:06Damn.
00:31:19Where is that punk?
00:31:21Excuse me?
00:31:23I'm not talking to you, lady.
00:31:25What a jerk.
00:31:33It's time for more valuable than mine, I guess.
00:31:36Probably stroking as muskrat somewhere.
00:31:43Sit down, coach.
00:31:44Oh, thank you.
00:31:48You're late.
00:31:50Where's the kid?
00:31:51Ah!
00:31:52They sprung a math test on him.
00:31:54Can you believe that?
00:31:55Now, he'll be flying down a little later.
00:31:58Actually, I should give him a little call.
00:31:59Use the phone back there, please.
00:32:01Yeah.
00:32:03We should have seen that airport.
00:32:04What a madhouse.
00:32:07It's a beautiful office, Chancellor.
00:32:10Not too shabby.
00:32:13John!
00:32:13How are you?
00:32:16What's the matter?
00:32:17Oh, that's terrible.
00:32:18Listen.
00:32:20Don't worry about a thing.
00:32:21We'll just reschedule a meeting.
00:32:22Okay?
00:32:23I know.
00:32:24I know you want to come here with me.
00:32:26It's all right.
00:32:26You haven't hurt your chances.
00:32:28Now, look.
00:32:29As soon as I get off the airplane,
00:32:30I'm coming right over to see you.
00:32:32All right.
00:32:33I love you too, son.
00:32:35Bye-bye.
00:32:36That's a great kid.
00:32:47That's a great kid.
00:33:08I want you to feel right at home, like family.
00:33:11Like this was your very own ranch.
00:33:14Right.
00:33:14Look, this comes straight from my heart, Johnny.
00:33:17Mm-hmm.
00:33:17Everybody here loves you.
00:33:19See these long-stemmed American beauties here?
00:33:21They're all for you.
00:33:22They're yours.
00:33:23That grass is yours.
00:33:24This whole shindig is yours.
00:33:25Them trees are yours.
00:33:26Hell, that lake is yours.
00:33:28Is this part of the campus, Tech?
00:33:29You can call it part of the campus, Johnny.
00:33:32Hell, you come to Old Tech's, you can call it anything you want.
00:33:35Oh, I love Old Tech's.
00:33:36Margarita, Mr. Wayne.
00:33:37Don't mind if we do, Darwin.
00:33:39Here you go.
00:33:40Pack one of these.
00:33:42Shit, everybody drinks of margaritas at Old Tech's.
00:33:46Feisty little filly, ain't she?
00:33:48My wife says they're medicinal.
00:33:50Oh, let's get up.
00:33:50He's out of the chute!
00:33:53He's out of the chute!
00:33:55Baby!
00:33:56Baby, what's shaking?
00:33:56Come on, break yourself loose here.
00:33:58Say hi to Johnny Walker.
00:33:59Johnny, captain of the team Bad Breath Bannister.
00:34:02Good to meet you.
00:34:02Tough foodie, baby.
00:34:03Good to meet you.
00:34:03That boy's breath would gag him like it.
00:34:05I know I'd text him, but he's gotta be hot.
00:34:07Hi.
00:34:08Ladies and gents, and I have your attention for one minute.
00:34:13I want to introduce to you five of the most sought-after
00:34:17football players in the entire country.
00:34:22Boys, come on now.
00:34:24Step up here.
00:34:32And you're gonna get him.
00:34:34This here is…
00:34:35We want you!
00:34:36We want you!
00:34:37We want you!
00:34:38We want you!
00:34:38You want you!
00:34:39We want you!
00:34:40We want you!
00:34:45We want you!
00:34:46Johnny Rock and our walker!
00:34:49We want you! We want you!
00:34:51We want you!
00:34:52Hail on to Otex!
00:34:56Let the spirit lead!
00:35:00Hail on to Otex!
00:35:03On to victory!
00:35:06Our minds and hearts are with you
00:35:10To our hallowed walls we pray
00:35:14Hail on to Otex!
00:35:18Our love in my name!
00:35:23Woo!
00:35:25Woo!
00:35:27Woo!
00:35:31Woo!
00:35:37Woo!
00:35:38Woo!
00:35:39Woo!
00:35:40Woo!
00:35:41Woo!
00:35:42You can't come close to the money!
00:35:44Fear myself!
00:35:45Man, we need that junk bond bullshit!
00:35:47I'm splitting!
00:35:48Where you going?
00:35:50I'm going to get some Chinese!
00:35:51And ain't you bull yet, brother?
00:35:53I'm not talking about food!
00:35:55I told Tex I'd only come to Feathered if you got me two Chinese girls!
00:35:58Yo, Flick!
00:35:59It is!
00:36:00Boom-dang-boo-yang, hoss!
00:36:02We're gonna show you a real good time!
00:36:05Here we go!
00:36:06Real good time!
00:36:07How you doing, Carmen?
00:36:08I'm glad to see you!
00:36:09Ralph!
00:36:10What's up with you, man?
00:36:10How you doing?
00:36:11How you doing?
00:36:11How's it feeling, man?
00:36:12I'm pretty good!
00:36:13Things looking up?
00:36:14I'll start working down!
00:36:15Stocks are down, huh?
00:36:17How's your wife, man?
00:36:18Oh, fair!
00:36:18Yeah?
00:36:19I need a partner!
00:36:20Still picking pockets, man?
00:36:22Yeah!
00:36:24She's a lovely woman
00:36:28And she makes you smile
00:36:30I'm here to tell you that it is my responsibility
00:36:33to welcome you to the fold of old Tex
00:36:36Sorta like a queen bee with a hive
00:36:40And I never miss
00:36:42I got me a player in every class
00:36:47Darling, in order to prepare you for tonight's experience
00:36:51We need to do a little hot heart exercise
00:36:54I'm gonna send you some energy
00:36:57Do you feel it?
00:36:59Do you feel it?
00:37:00I feel it
00:37:01I feel it
00:37:02Do you feel heat?
00:37:03I feel heat
00:37:05Okay, okay, I feel it too
00:37:07Okay, now
00:37:09How'd you like to go visit our campus?
00:37:11Where the hell is that campus, by the way?
00:37:13I was gonna ask you that
00:37:14Well, I'm glad you asked
00:37:16Because I'm gonna take you there right now
00:37:18Thank you, ma'am
00:37:19Well, let us grab our drinks and our vamoose
00:37:24Numero uno
00:37:27I am gonna show you, you lucky boy
00:37:29Why they call us the horny toads
00:37:34Why, darling, this is far more than a football
00:37:36Armadillo
00:37:37Armadillo
00:37:38I mean, we have a very fine medical program
00:37:41In which many operators have come out successful
00:37:44Is that right?
00:37:45Well, you understand the word opera
00:37:46Not at all
00:37:47Was that your hand?
00:37:48That was yours
00:37:49Oh
00:37:50Oh, well, that was my hand, darling
00:37:52I thought it was a pillow
00:37:53Oh, there you go
00:37:54But I could see I was mistaken
00:37:56Oh, that's okay
00:37:56And as you can see, we have a very fine library
00:38:01Right
00:38:01I can see that
00:38:02Well, we'll see the library needs
00:38:07Excuse me
00:38:15Listen, if you're not interested in her
00:38:17I may know something
00:38:20A little more your speed
00:38:25Now, darling
00:38:28I thought this would be a more intimate place to dine
00:38:32A little more spacious
00:38:34I can't believe the size of this canvas
00:38:36It's huge
00:38:37Well, you better think
00:38:38You're all gonna be saying it
00:38:39Go, Johnny, go
00:38:40In the fall, 80,000 people will be cheering you on, darling
00:38:44Johnny Walker!
00:38:46And I can guarantee you something, sweetheart
00:38:49It will be nothing like the performance I am about to give
00:38:55Oh, no
00:38:56Oh, no
00:38:57No, no, no
00:38:58No
00:38:59Yes
00:39:00Oh, ouch
00:39:01Oh, boink
00:39:02Thank you so much
00:39:04Matter of fact, I should start abusing that term
00:39:07Thank you
00:39:07Because it would get me in and out of more situations
00:39:11With smooth sincerity
00:39:15Absolutely the best thing I could say is thank you right now
00:39:18Thank you
00:39:19Thank you
00:39:19Well, thank you
00:39:20Thank you
00:39:21Darling, you talk too much
00:39:23Wait a minute, no, thank you
00:39:24See, I'm not the type of guy who thinks when it's
00:39:26Joe Bob!
00:39:27Joe!
00:39:28Tell them about the old Tex baby dolls
00:39:31And how they like to sneak in the locker room at halftime
00:39:35Lordy mercy, boys
00:39:36We spend $20,000 a month on these pretty little fillies
00:39:40Just for the football program alone
00:39:42You're gonna like it here
00:39:44Please stop
00:39:45Stop
00:39:45Hey, thank you very much
00:39:47Look, thank you
00:39:49No
00:39:49You're making this hard enough
00:39:50Oh
00:39:51Please, stop
00:39:53Oh
00:39:54Jose, come on down here, boy
00:39:56I wanna show you your picture
00:39:57Speaking of luxury
00:39:59If my eyes don't deceive me
00:40:00That's a boy getting his knob polish right there on the 50-yard line
00:40:04Say what?
00:40:06I gotta go
00:40:08Oh, wait, where's the horse?
00:40:10Don't leave
00:40:11Stop
00:40:12Stop
00:40:13Let me go
00:40:14Oh, I gotta put this up on the scoreboard
00:40:16See it a little clearer
00:40:26I gotta be dipped in dog shit
00:40:29That's Johnny Walker
00:40:30Hey
00:40:30What the?
00:40:32Shit
00:40:33That's my wife
00:40:34Tim, I'm not your wife
00:40:36Who said that?
00:40:37Wait a minute, please
00:40:38You have a husband
00:40:38I'm getting out of here now
00:40:39Sit and I'm out
00:40:40And put those tits away
00:40:42This was no med school
00:40:43This was not a library
00:40:44I have to go
00:40:46I have to go
00:40:48Go
00:40:48Get back here
00:40:49Come back here, you little boy
00:40:51I gotta go
00:40:52Come back here
00:40:52Come back here
00:40:53I can make you feel good
00:41:04Come on
00:41:05Let's go
00:41:07Come back here
00:41:08Come back there
00:41:23Let's go
00:41:24Oh, so this is a medical school.
00:41:43Hey, boys, come on down here.
00:41:45We've got the entire front row for y'all.
00:41:56Oh, my God.
00:41:58Let's look inside the square.
00:41:59Right on here, the middle.
00:42:01Oh, yeah.
00:42:04Oh, yeah.
00:42:05Oh, yeah.
00:42:08Yeah.
00:42:10Oh, yeah.
00:42:27You're a pretty sea, ain't too proud.
00:42:31It was nice, though Tex let us use his car.
00:42:34Goddamn it, it was nice.
00:42:35I hope you've given this watch.
00:42:37Hey.
00:42:38Go, go.
00:42:39Get some beer now.
00:42:40Yes, sir.
00:42:41Beer.
00:42:42Hey.
00:42:44He was getting beer.
00:42:45Maybe too.
00:42:47How you doing?
00:42:48Doing good.
00:42:49How you doing?
00:42:50Good, good.
00:42:51You going to play football at Old Tex?
00:42:54Oh, I don't know yet.
00:42:57You know, I used to be a football player.
00:43:00They said I would have been all American if I hadn't hurt my leg.
00:43:06What happened?
00:43:07Did you go to Old Tex?
00:43:09I was going to, but I really got the chance.
00:43:14After they took my scholarship away, I had to quit school.
00:43:19But Old Tex took care of me, got me this job.
00:43:44What's this stuff, man?
00:43:46Come on!
00:43:49Whee-hoo!
00:43:51What is it?
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:55It's Texas Sushi, boy.
00:43:58Get you, man.
00:44:04Come on, get out of here.
00:44:07Move it out of here!
00:44:09Move it out of here!
00:44:11You're going down on one-way street
00:44:14While you now want to be
00:44:16Yes and now want to be
00:44:19Johnny, watch that character!
00:44:27Hurry up!
00:44:28Hey, Johnny!
00:44:29Why don't you visit old tax, man?
00:44:31I need silence.
00:44:32I don't know.
00:44:36Come on, you're smarter than that, Johnny.
00:44:38I don't know.
00:44:41Nothing else means squat.
00:44:42Come on!
00:44:46Hi, honey.
00:44:50How was the campus?
00:44:52The campus?
00:44:54Um, it was nice, Mom.
00:44:57Yeah, it was nice.
00:44:57It really was a nice campus.
00:44:59Well, you think of old tax as just a football school, right?
00:45:02And in actuality, they have the finest pre-med school in the country.
00:45:07Really, just a fierce...
00:45:08It was a beautiful setup.
00:45:10Yeah, it was nice.
00:45:11It really was.
00:45:12Listen, something wonderful happened while you were away.
00:45:16This fella calls up on the telephone, you see?
00:45:19And he orders 10,000 wall-eyed gibblers.
00:45:22Yeah.
00:45:23Apparently, he gives them away on his late-night television show,
00:45:25like those vegematics or those spiffy little fishing rods
00:45:29that turn into can openers.
00:45:32We could make a small fortune on this deal, you know?
00:45:36That's excellent, Graham.
00:45:38Yeah.
00:45:38Yeah, so he called, huh?
00:45:40The fella says so long as they sell,
00:45:43the orders will just keep coming in.
00:45:45You know, we could maybe buy a larger house.
00:45:49That'll really catch a lot of fish.
00:45:51Hi, Johnny.
00:45:52Hey, Monica.
00:45:53She brews those tomatoes now.
00:45:59You folks tried those biscuits.
00:46:00They're delicious.
00:46:01What do you say?
00:46:02Back to school yet, Johnny?
00:46:04Baby love.
00:46:06Hey.
00:46:08How was it?
00:46:09It was cool.
00:46:10It was good.
00:46:11I had a good time.
00:46:13Yeah?
00:46:15So how were the girls?
00:46:16Hmm?
00:46:18The girls.
00:46:20How were the girls?
00:46:23Well, they were, um, very short, very fat,
00:46:30and kind of weird looking.
00:46:33What was her name?
00:46:33Huh?
00:46:34What was her name?
00:46:38The woman I had dinner with was Luanda.
00:46:40Yeah, that was Tex's wife.
00:46:42Luanda?
00:46:43Very old chick.
00:46:44Very fat woman.
00:46:45And very funny looking.
00:46:47She took me to dinner.
00:46:48And, you know, what do you think of Texas?
00:46:52And, you know, I love it.
00:46:54You know, a lot of small talk.
00:46:56And, um, I didn't, you know, I didn't do anything.
00:47:00You know, no touch.
00:47:06What are you thinking about?
00:47:10I think you're an asshole.
00:47:25This boy-girl shit hurts, man.
00:47:28Oh, no, Pete.
00:47:30None of that.
00:47:31It's a bogus product.
00:47:32It's a payoff.
00:47:33No self-respecting fish would go near a walleye giver.
00:47:36Hey, Leo.
00:47:37Read my lips.
00:47:39Joe Bob promised my grandfather he'd buy 10,000 of things, okay?
00:47:43Yeah, you're confused.
00:47:44You're repeating yourself.
00:47:45Maybe.
00:47:46You're wrong.
00:47:47Oh.
00:47:48I couldn't break his heart like that.
00:47:50Did you understand?
00:47:51Well, I can't commit to old Tex.
00:47:54I'll tell you something, Leo.
00:47:54I had such a groove in Texas.
00:47:56Vomited margaritas the whole way home.
00:47:58It was beautiful.
00:47:59I'm telling you.
00:47:59Well, of course, you'll spew forth the, uh,
00:48:01drink of every school you visit.
00:48:02I like that.
00:48:03I'll keep it in mind.
00:48:04Give me a hand.
00:48:04Hey!
00:48:05Howdy, Chief!
00:48:07Dirtbags!
00:48:09You'll see, see.
00:48:10You'll see, see.
00:48:11You'll see, see.
00:48:12You'll see, see.
00:48:14What's shaking, Coach?
00:48:15I didn't know you'd show.
00:48:18Coach, how do you feel?
00:48:20John, you promised me you were gonna visit Piermont.
00:48:24He's not going to Piermont.
00:48:26You get it?
00:48:27Got it?
00:48:27Goose yourself.
00:48:30If I want any shit out of you, Leo,
00:48:32I'll squeeze your head.
00:48:37You better listen to me, son.
00:48:39You're on the verge of destroying your entire career.
00:48:44I'm not gonna let it happen.
00:48:46I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure
00:48:48you do the right thing.
00:49:00If you keep playing games with me,
00:49:03you're gonna end up waiting on tables with this guy.
00:49:05That was cold-blooded, Coach.
00:49:09Coach, where's your shoes?
00:49:10Got those shoes, Coach.
00:49:12Look, are you sure Tom won't want to order more of my lures?
00:49:16We haven't sold one in three years.
00:49:20Well, Harvey, you tell him that a big shot down in Texas
00:49:23just ordered 10,000 of them.
00:49:25Ha!
00:49:26Reckon the fish in that state are gonna be safe for a while.
00:49:38Sure.
00:49:53Grandpa Walker.
00:49:55Have a word with you?
00:49:56Sure, Coach.
00:49:57Sit down.
00:49:58Got some bad news.
00:50:00You know Tom, Norman.
00:50:01Well, he owns this shop.
00:50:02The fishing buddy.
00:50:04What's happening?
00:50:05Well, apparently, he's very connected
00:50:07with some of the alumni from Piermont.
00:50:09Tom tells me that if Johnny doesn't go to Piermont,
00:50:11he's gonna have to cut off your credit here.
00:50:15Hey, I hear you're flunkin' English.
00:50:16Ouch!
00:50:18John, you need that English, son.
00:50:28You did your term paper in the American Hardware store, huh?
00:50:31Maybe you deserve that act.
00:50:33I won't hear anything about it.
00:50:33It's a very legitimate topic.
00:50:35Well, I guess it is, and I must read it.
00:50:36I know you wanted to.
00:50:37So, Leo, I think you know why we're here today.
00:50:41I think you do.
00:50:42I guess he's been messing with me, Leo.
00:50:44He's been messing with my grandfather.
00:50:47He's been messing with my little brother.
00:50:49My little sister.
00:50:52He's been messing with my mom, Leo.
00:50:55He's been talking to her.
00:50:56Messing with her.
00:50:58And now, we're gonna mess with him, Leo.
00:51:03Are you with me?
00:51:04Me!
00:51:06He ruined his life, man.
00:51:09Gonna ruin it good.
00:51:10Gonna do the wrong thing like I thought I could.
00:51:13Oh, Leo, vengeance is mine.
00:51:15Here we went.
00:51:15You made all the calls, didn't you, my friend?
00:51:16All comes together now.
00:51:18Thought I would.
00:51:18Wait till you see those chihuahuas.
00:51:21Shh.
00:51:22But, but, hey.
00:51:27Panic, keep going.
00:51:29John, glad you boys came by.
00:51:30Thanks.
00:51:31The wife, uh, the wife has a Tupperware party,
00:51:33but we can talk in the den if we like.
00:51:35I'd appreciate that, coach.
00:51:36Come on, right in, please.
00:51:38It has, um, green.
00:51:41It has blue.
00:51:43It has, um, purple.
00:51:45Is that purple tea?
00:51:47You boys met my children before, sugar and honey.
00:51:50Oh, I love your kids.
00:51:51Uh-huh.
00:51:51Coach, I've been giving a lot of thought
00:51:52to what you told me about Piermont.
00:51:53I really have.
00:51:54Well, that's good.
00:51:55Yeah.
00:51:56Except I'm having a little problem with my English grade.
00:51:59Really?
00:52:00Yeah, I thought you could help.
00:52:03Yeah, I-I might be able to help you out with that.
00:52:06Sure.
00:52:07I thought you could.
00:52:09Boop!
00:52:10Hey.
00:52:11Stick with me, Johnny.
00:52:12More company, honey?
00:52:13Don't get up, pumpkin.
00:52:15Keep selling your goodies.
00:52:16Hey.
00:52:17Now, uh...
00:52:18Pizza delivery for Hitler.
00:52:20Hitler?
00:52:21His...
00:52:21Hisler.
00:52:22Where are you going?
00:52:23Hey, wait a minute.
00:52:23Wait a minute, fellas.
00:52:24Wait a minute.
00:52:25I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:26Hey, hey.
00:52:27No, it won't be $283.
00:52:29I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:30Well, you order pizza, we bring you pizza.
00:52:33Hey, listen.
00:52:33You like pizza?
00:52:34Sure.
00:52:34Yeah, you like it all.
00:52:36You...
00:52:36Okay?
00:52:37You eat the pizza.
00:52:41What are you doing here?
00:52:43Can't you take a joke, mister?
00:52:45Yeah.
00:52:45Tony, get that shotgun!
00:52:48Ah!
00:52:50I'm coming!
00:52:50I'm coming!
00:52:51Can I have the rest of the pizzas?
00:52:53No, Maggie!
00:52:56Oh!
00:52:59Oh!
00:53:02Is this for me?
00:53:03No!
00:53:04It's for nobody!
00:53:04Get out of here, now!
00:53:05Oh!
00:53:07Oh!
00:53:11Oh!
00:53:12Oh!
00:53:13Oh!
00:53:13Oh!
00:53:13Oh!
00:53:14Hey, Tim!
00:53:14Where are you going?
00:53:15I'm from DOA, Exterminator!
00:53:16Here you got a problem with rodents.
00:53:18Not you but you're going to take care of my own rodents!
00:53:22Ow!
00:53:22Ow!
00:53:24Ow!
00:53:25Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:27Aah!
00:53:29Aw, Colt!
00:53:30We're even now!
00:53:31How youna turn this side on!
00:53:33We've got him out of here...
00:53:35Um, I've got him out of here, youç›®!
00:53:35I'm crying and where are you?!
00:53:36Yeah!
00:53:36And on Lucy Brown!
00:54:17He's big, man.
00:54:19He's big, man.
00:54:23He's big, man.
00:54:28He's big, man.
00:54:29He's big, man.
00:54:32He's big.
00:54:33Really small.
00:54:34You're a big kid.
00:54:36Yeah.
00:54:37I definitely want to see him, yeah.
00:54:40Fast like Homer Jones, remember Homer?
00:54:42Yeah, yeah.
00:54:44Technical student.
00:54:4695 average, that's great.
00:54:48Let's have dinner next Tuesday.
00:54:50I gotta go.
00:54:50Next Tuesday, okay?
00:54:52I really have to go.
00:54:53Bye-bye.
00:54:54Let me see, Coach.
00:54:56How you feel?
00:54:58Would you mind removing your feet from my desk, please?
00:55:04So I came here to do some business with you today, sir.
00:55:08I just got back from old Texas,
00:55:09ready to cut a very sweet, lucrative deal with me.
00:55:11Except the thing of it is, is I want to play here.
00:55:13I want to come to state.
00:55:18Johnny, we don't give out deals here.
00:55:22What?
00:55:23We give the usual scholarship,
00:55:26room and board, a good education.
00:55:30Everyone has to actually go to class here.
00:55:34And I like to believe that we offer
00:55:35a good background in football.
00:55:37You know, we had a lot of players going to pro ball.
00:55:40That's nice, Coach, but, uh,
00:55:43you're losing the top high school athletes every year
00:55:45for a reason.
00:55:48What's that?
00:55:51Well, you're not giving them anything.
00:55:53You gotta show them something.
00:55:54They gotta see something.
00:55:55They gotta know that they're gonna get something.
00:55:56They're doing cash, you know, cars, apartments, money.
00:56:01Hookups, you know what I mean?
00:56:03We're looking for benefits these days, Coach.
00:56:06Look, Johnny, I like you.
00:56:08So I'm not gonna BS you.
00:56:11You're a good athlete.
00:56:13You have a lot of talent.
00:56:14You got a lot of energy.
00:56:17So I'm warning you.
00:56:19You're getting into something
00:56:20that you don't understand.
00:56:22See, when where it goes out
00:56:23that a kid like yourself is looking for a deal,
00:56:26well, believe me,
00:56:27that deal turns out to be a lot stronger
00:56:29than that kid ever bargained for.
00:56:32Be careful.
00:56:34You're playing with fire.
00:56:58You're playing with fire.
00:57:06Are you crazy?
00:57:08My father sleeps with his gun.
00:57:15I heard you visit a state.
00:57:20Does this mean the lobotomy's worn off?
00:57:28Well, since you're not going to speak,
00:57:31you will rub my feet.
00:57:37I mean, far be it for me
00:57:38to ask you to apologize
00:57:39when you have behaved
00:57:40like a complete son of a bitch.
00:57:45But, um...
00:58:08flowers that festers smell far worse than weeds.
00:58:13That means you stink.
00:58:20But it was sweet.
00:58:23I guess I am still sweet on you.
00:58:26I'll cut it in ten minutes.
00:58:28You're a bombshell.
00:58:37Well, let's go.
00:58:38Ack!
00:58:39Go!
00:58:39I'm going up with text.
00:58:40I'm going up.
00:58:40If anyone needs...
00:58:41Keep going to text.
00:58:43I don't know what you're doing.
00:58:44I just want me to work.
00:58:45C, C, C.
00:58:46Just want me to work.
00:58:46I can't see you.
00:58:47Come on, it's go on.
00:58:50Ah!
00:58:51No real shots.
00:58:51No real shots.
00:58:53Come on.
00:58:58You wouldn't really use that.
00:58:59Yes, sir, I would.
00:59:00You're not going to use that.
00:59:01Yes, sir, I would.
00:59:05Leo.
00:59:06What?
00:59:07What do you really want out of life, huh?
00:59:11I want Johnny Walker to go to California.
00:59:14Oh!
00:59:17All right, I'll go.
00:59:19All right?
00:59:19Yeah.
00:59:20Cool.
00:59:50All right.
01:00:04Hey, how you doing, Johnny?
01:00:05Lou Landers, ICA.
01:00:07It's good to see you.
01:00:08Welcome to California.
01:00:09We've got a fine time planned for you, buddy.
01:00:11Listen, Lou, I'm here to meet the money man.
01:00:13I'm here on business, not pleasure.
01:00:15Well, I am the money man, Johnny.
01:00:17And I'll tell you something.
01:00:18I'm gonna take you to meet the best quarterback in the country.
01:00:20Close personal friend of mine.
01:00:21Give me five, Johnny.
01:00:23Never touch.
01:00:23Come on.
01:00:25Come on.
01:00:43Jim McMahon wears Adidas.
01:00:57Either I wear Adidas or I wear nothing.
01:01:02Almost nothing.
01:01:04And cut.
01:01:06Great.
01:01:06Beautiful.
01:01:07Amazing.
01:01:09Beautiful, Jim.
01:01:10Here you go, Jim.
01:01:11I don't know how you do it, Jimmy.
01:01:12Every time.
01:01:13That's okay.
01:01:14Back to the golf course again, huh?
01:01:15Okay, Brent.
01:01:16The rest of the day, thank you, Johnny.
01:01:17Okay, just one more day.
01:01:18Hey, you know, man.
01:01:19Thanks a lot, man.
01:01:20You bet, boss.
01:01:20Thanks, Bob.
01:01:22Jimmy.
01:01:23Jimmy, how you doing?
01:01:24Listen, I want you to meet Johnny Walker.
01:01:27What's up, Jimmy?
01:01:28How you doing, Johnny?
01:01:30Glad to see you're coming to UCC.
01:01:32Well, I haven't really made up my mind yet, but, uh, I'm damn glad to meet you, man.
01:01:36Hey, Jimmy, listen, I'm having a little party for my man tonight.
01:01:38Why don't you stop by the house, huh?
01:01:40Well, I'd love to, but, uh, you know, I promised my wife I wouldn't show up at your place anymore.
01:01:47What a kidder, huh?
01:01:49I love you, Jimmy.
01:01:50Hey, maybe next time, huh, babe?
01:01:53Hey, Lou.
01:01:54Yeah?
01:01:55Did you notice how he had his hair done up right there?
01:01:57Yeah, it looks good.
01:01:58Just like mine, like you planned it for me, I think.
01:01:59Listen, Johnny, let me tell you something serious, huh?
01:02:02If you play your cards right, you could be the next Adidas fan someday, huh?
01:02:04Hey, Lou, he had his hair hooked up just like mine.
01:02:06Come on, let's go to work.
01:02:061.45.
01:02:08Walker receives jacket from the lanterns.
01:02:10Over now.
01:02:12How many down here?
01:02:14Yeah, I can't.
01:02:14I can't.
01:02:17I know I may, uh, I may talk 90% of the time, Johnny, but believe me, I only take
01:02:2110% of the action.
01:02:24How you doing, Doc?
01:02:25Terrific, Lou, terrific.
01:02:30Louie.
01:02:31Yeah?
01:02:32My mother's medicine counter was never like this.
01:02:35Don't worry about it, Johnny.
01:02:36You're not in Ashcroft anymore.
01:02:38We use only the finest steroids available.
01:02:40Oh.
01:02:42We have only one mindset here at UCC, Johnny, and that is that our boys are winners.
01:02:46Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:48That's right, boys.
01:02:48I love these guys like my own kids, Johnny.
01:02:51And because of that, I take better care of them than their own mommies do.
01:02:54Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:57We have the best training facilities in the country, Johnny.
01:03:00College or pro.
01:03:01I mean, our men are appreciated for the fine pieces of machinery that they are.
01:03:04What's up, Slade?
01:03:05Hey.
01:03:06Does he play here?
01:03:07No, no, no.
01:03:08He just pisses for the players so they pass their drug tests.
01:03:10They think they'd piss her, huh?
01:03:12Yeah.
01:03:12Okay, let's get you some threads for the party, huh, Johnny?
01:03:15Uh, all right.
01:03:16Move on totally.
01:03:17My baby.
01:03:42I'm Tex Wade.
01:03:43I'm looking for Johnny Walker.
01:03:44Oh.
01:03:45Well, he hasn't got back from UCC yet.
01:03:48What the hell's he doing at UCC?
01:03:50Isn't he committed to old Tex?
01:03:52As far as I know, he hasn't committed to himself anywhere.
01:03:56Well, I hate to be the one enlightening, Grandpa, but you did not get that order for them 10,000
01:04:02walleye gibblers because they catch fish.
01:04:07What are you saying, mister?
01:04:10You figure it out, Grandpa.
01:04:27Oh, it's gonna be home.
01:04:28Thanks, everybody.
01:04:33Johnny Walker.
01:04:34Johnny Walker.
01:04:36I stand accused of a social climber.
01:04:44But the truth is I'm not social at all.
01:04:47This is a nice ride.
01:04:48This is all right.
01:04:49Where'd you get it, anyway?
01:04:50My dad got it for me, kind of a graduation present type thing.
01:04:53I thought I knew your father hated you.
01:04:56Well, he used to, but we're real tight now.
01:04:59We just kind of woke up one morning, we had breakfast, and now, you know, real solid.
01:05:04Things are real good.
01:05:06I look cleaner than the Board of Health, don't I?
01:05:09Kind of look like a combo Liberace meets Prince's Mom.
01:05:13But it's good.
01:05:16I will never concede, there is no second best.
01:05:21Do you remain unimpressed?
01:05:24Cause I've been there, done that.
01:05:28Goodbye, now.
01:05:34What's happening, Chief?
01:05:36Where did you finally decide to go to college?
01:05:38Clown school?
01:05:40You know what you are, Chief?
01:05:42You're an officer of love.
01:05:43Not of law.
01:05:44Of love, you are.
01:05:53Do you dig it?
01:05:56It's a look.
01:06:08There's a look.
01:06:09You're an officer of love.
01:06:10It's not a little door.
01:06:11I've been here, John.
01:06:20I mean, you know, he's been here.
01:06:21I have been here.
01:06:21You don't have to look.
01:06:21I know she's got you.
01:06:24You don't have to look.
01:06:25You're a boy.
01:06:26You're a boy.
01:06:26You're a boy.
01:06:27Mom, Mom! Johnny's lost his mind!
01:06:35What do you think?
01:06:43Mom, I gotta tell you about the school.
01:06:46UCC has a pre-med program.
01:06:48Absolutely blows old techs away.
01:06:49Not even in the running anymore, old techs.
01:06:51Because you know why?
01:06:52I'm gonna get about three times the lab time I had at old techs.
01:06:56Johnny, what has happened to you?
01:06:59Me? I'm great. Don't I look great?
01:07:01I feel great, Mom. I really do.
01:07:03UCC is a football factory, Johnny.
01:07:06Only about half the players there even graduate.
01:07:08What about your education?
01:07:11Mom, education, please, okay?
01:07:12Just please step off with that, okay?
01:07:15I wanna tell you something.
01:07:16I have a much better deal here at UCC.
01:07:18They're working out a sweeter deal.
01:07:19And they're gonna take care of everything, guys.
01:07:21The way old techs took care of me.
01:07:26Come on, look. Everyone looks nauseous here now.
01:07:29I wanna explain to you, okay?
01:07:31UCC has a better deal for me.
01:07:33They're gonna hook us up.
01:07:35Mom, you'll have a bigger house.
01:07:36I don't want a bigger house, Johnny.
01:07:39I want you to stop thinking about yourself
01:07:40and start thinking about what's right and about your family.
01:07:43We're the people who love you.
01:07:45Or maybe you've been too busy leerjetting around to remember that.
01:07:48I mean, look at you. Purple and gold.
01:07:51You look ridiculous.
01:07:54I don't know how this could've happened.
01:07:58Maybe it was just too important a decision to leave up to you.
01:08:02Hey, Mom. Wait a second. Mom, can we...
01:08:12Come on, Gramps. Isn't this what you wanted?
01:08:15I wanted to sell my lures, not my grandson.
01:08:20Come on.
01:08:24Grant.
01:08:26Grant.
01:08:35What do you think, Randy? Come on, what's up?
01:08:38I'm gonna go do my homework and take a reality break.
01:08:57Johnny, I had a deep, revelatory vision,
01:08:59and I think you should drop this whole ridiculous college ball thing.
01:09:02And do what?
01:09:03Become a professional waiter.
01:09:05Right.
01:09:06You develop a reputation as a bistro's most courteous server.
01:09:09Mm-hmm.
01:09:10And, of course, you're waiting for one night
01:09:11when the manager's relatives come in.
01:09:13Mm-hmm.
01:09:13You seat them, you serve them, you wine them, you dine them,
01:09:16you read them the specials.
01:09:17Right.
01:09:18You take the last of their orders.
01:09:19And then you say,
01:09:20actually, it's the fish or nothing!
01:09:24Of course, at this point, they're all jamming for the door
01:09:26like wild.
01:09:27You tackle down around me ankles, you get them down on the ground,
01:09:29you pound them in the spine, you say,
01:09:31what, are you trying to stiff me on the gratuity, you fop?
01:09:34You see, she is your only move.
01:09:38You see, she is your ever most cool.
01:09:41Excuse me.
01:09:43We're new in town and we've never had sex before.
01:09:46Would you give us a hand?
01:09:50Up!
01:09:50Don't follow the dames.
01:09:53Don't follow the dames.
01:09:55Don't follow the dames.
01:09:57Leo.
01:09:58Leo, I want to go home.
01:09:59Leo.
01:10:00I started dating this Nancy girl specifically
01:10:03because she was a virgin.
01:10:06Well, milliseconds before initial penetration,
01:10:09I just shut up in bed like a reverse domino.
01:10:13And I just said, hey, hey, hey, hey, there'll be none of this.
01:10:16What kind of boy do you think I am?
01:10:18I will hardly pop you without having met your father.
01:10:21Get him on the horn.
01:10:22The things that make life worth so much and so worthwhile
01:10:28are things that we have to look up at a lot of times.
01:10:31It's clouds, it's stars, children.
01:10:34By the way, where is the can?
01:10:36I have to take an awful putrid asparagus piss.
01:10:40He says down the hall to the left.
01:10:42Well, that just really ticked me off,
01:10:44so I got up and I said, just a goddamn minute, that won't do.
01:10:47I run right up to the family drapes
01:10:49and proceed to write my surname on the manure.
01:10:52Well, Mom bolts out of the lazy boy chair
01:10:54and comes over and delivers me a flurry, flurry of slaps.
01:10:57So I retaliate with a series of blows to her midriff and midsection
01:11:01that I usually reserve only for those times when I actually do see red.
01:11:05I'm a winner.
01:11:06I'll snap her spine like an all-blowing-ass man.
01:11:08And so all these big money men, they're offering me this, this, this, and this,
01:11:11you know, because I came home wearing, like, heels and gold,
01:11:15and my mother sat me down and she told me what the deal was, you know,
01:11:19and spoke her mind, and I've been acting crazy. I really have.
01:11:23You haven't spent any time...
01:11:24You still conscious, your sister?
01:11:25She's talking.
01:11:26Couldn't have fun.
01:11:27Completely sold enough before I tell you that way.
01:11:30Let her go. It's been an hour.
01:11:32Look, I seem to have lockjaw of the arm.
01:11:41Love is a verb, and I wish, uh...
01:11:43I wish, uh, I just get to it a lot more.
01:11:46Because I, I feel good when I, when I do.
01:11:49Say, are we gonna have sex or not?
01:11:51Don't.
01:12:02Right! Right! Right! Right! Right! Right! Right! Right!
01:12:11Assholes!
01:12:13This is too good to be true.
01:12:16For who?
01:12:17You're going to the joint forever.
01:12:22What are you looking at, weirdo?
01:12:24Ouch!
01:12:30We gotta get out of here.
01:12:33Look, Lou Landers can get us out of here, right?
01:12:36But then, you gotta go to UCC.
01:12:40Wait.
01:12:40Lou Landers?
01:12:42Of course.
01:12:43You think, you think my dad bought me the Jeep?
01:12:45You kidding?
01:12:46Lou Landers bought me the Jeep.
01:12:47UCC got it for me.
01:12:48He tried to get you to go to their school.
01:12:53You set me up?
01:12:56No, I didn't set you up.
01:12:57I just pushed you in a direction.
01:12:59Trying to do the right thing for you.
01:13:01You set me up. You didn't tell me.
01:13:02Well, if I told you you would've said no, then...
01:13:05Well, then I still wouldn't have been setting you up.
01:13:07I just, you know...
01:13:10I just made a mistake.
01:13:12I got, uh...
01:13:16Selfish.
01:13:19Me too.
01:13:29Oh, this is terrible. This is awful.
01:13:32This is really awful.
01:13:34This is a serious mess.
01:13:36Does the phrase, bail us out immediately, mean anything to you?
01:13:40Bail?
01:13:42There's your bail.
01:13:44Get your ticket out of here, right there.
01:13:47All he has to do is sign with Piermont.
01:13:49You're on the street.
01:13:51Otherwise, boys, you're looking at 20 years in the slammer
01:13:53with all the butt pirates.
01:13:56And they say they're waiting for you up there, Johnny,
01:13:57and want to give you a little hiney poke up there.
01:14:01Coach, I know I'm a man, okay?
01:14:03My asshole's exit only, and...
01:14:05we really didn't do anything wrong.
01:14:07You want sympathy, Leo?
01:14:08You look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
01:14:12Oh, no, you're gonna like it.
01:14:13You're gonna love it on the road gang.
01:14:15Out there with the cons cutting that grass.
01:14:18Oh, yeah.
01:14:18Oh!
01:14:19Oh!
01:14:20All the pretty girls be going by in the convertibles,
01:14:22you know, on spring break.
01:14:24Drinking beer.
01:14:25They'll be waving at you.
01:14:26Hi, Johnny!
01:14:28Johnny!
01:14:30It's up to you, John.
01:14:32Put your foot in the chain gang,
01:14:34or you can put your foot in the cash register.
01:14:38You let me know.
01:14:42Don't drop the soap, boys.
01:14:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:14:49Hello, everyone.
01:14:50I'm Gary DeLon.
01:14:51Today, throughout the country,
01:14:52hundreds of boys will be signing their national letters of intent.
01:14:55Now, these letters are commitments by high school seniors
01:14:58to play for the college of their choice.
01:15:00Today, there's no place across the country
01:15:02that has more media coverage and more attention
01:15:04than right here, Ashcroft High School.
01:15:06We're here at Ashcroft High School.
01:15:07It's signing day.
01:15:09Now, Johnny Walker has just arrived
01:15:10to sign his national letter of intent.
01:15:12In just a very few short moments,
01:15:14the entire country will know where Johnny Walker
01:15:17has decided to play his college football.
01:15:19Glad to see you boys could, uh, be here for the announcement.
01:15:23Sure hope none of us are disappointed.
01:15:25Some sure don't smell right here.
01:15:31Thank you very much.
01:15:33I'm very happy, uh, to have been asked, ladies and gentlemen,
01:15:37to introduce Johnny Walker here today.
01:15:39And I am so happy to announce
01:15:42that John and I are going to be together for another four years.
01:15:47I'm the new head coach at Piermont University.
01:15:52But, you know, what really makes me proud
01:15:54is that John could have gone anywhere in America,
01:15:56and he chose to be with me.
01:15:58Now, we've also landed four of the top blue-chip prospects
01:16:01in this country, and they're all here today.
01:16:04Come on up, fellas.
01:16:06All right.
01:16:06All right.
01:16:14This is not about me.
01:16:15I'm only as good as my players, believe me.
01:16:18Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce
01:16:19the men of the hour, Johnny Walker.
01:16:21I'mheenlan Walker.
01:16:21Go!
01:16:37I'making up!
01:16:40Throughout this recruitment,
01:16:43I've acted like an idiot,
01:16:46I completely embarrassed my mother, my family, my girlfriend, my friends.
01:16:53Mostly, I just embarrassed myself.
01:16:58Because I thought I had something, and I lost it.
01:17:03If this is what it takes to play college football, then I don't even want to play at all.
01:17:10Just because I know how to, uh, remember to throw a ball.
01:17:15It doesn't mean, uh, I should forget my life.
01:17:19Or anyone else's.
01:17:22Therefore, I'm not going to sign any letters to any schools.
01:17:27Now that's reality.
01:17:30You just move in your running socks and you are going to the pier.
01:17:33Oh, no.
01:17:34He doesn't go. I don't go.
01:17:36Come with him.
01:17:36Wait a minute, brother.
01:17:37Hold up.
01:17:38Here in my university, we'll honor all its commitments.
01:17:41No, I promise you that.
01:17:42Slight misunderstanding, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:44Bear, bear with us.
01:17:45Who are you?
01:17:46Who are you?
01:17:47My name is Floyd Gondoli.
01:17:49I am the NCAA recruitment investigator.
01:17:52And I have followed the recruitment of Johnny Walker since day one.
01:17:56And I am now calling for a complete investigation of UCC, old techs, and specifically, Piermont.
01:18:05We didn't do anything wrong.
01:18:07You call framing a kid for rape not wrong?
01:18:10Oh, you framed a kid for rape?
01:18:11You're both history.
01:18:13Of course not.
01:18:13You're both finished.
01:18:14Oh, this is ridiculous.
01:18:15Congratulations, John.
01:18:16I'm proud of you.
01:18:17Ladies and gentlemen, this is the kid.
01:18:19Hey, Johnny, I'm proud of you.
01:18:22You did good, kid.
01:18:23So, uh, what are you going to do now?
01:18:26Penn State, Johnny.
01:18:27Penn State.
01:18:27Penn State.
01:18:28Alabama.
01:18:29Remember the weather.
01:18:30Listen, Johnny.
01:18:31Nobody.
01:18:32And I mean nobody makes a schmuck out of me.
01:18:34Capisce?
01:18:34Nobody has to, Lou.
01:18:36All right.
01:18:38Oh, you going down now, Lou.
01:18:40Oh, you done made a big mistake.
01:18:41No, no, no, no.
01:18:45Go, big job!
01:18:52I wish I could help.
01:18:54Not a fighter, I'm about to do this.
01:19:12Thank you, my friend.
01:19:14Good move, man.
01:19:17Let's get out of here.
01:19:22Get back here.
01:19:23Get out of here.
01:19:25Get back here.
01:19:29Get down, man.
01:19:30Never did like that fella.
01:19:44Coach, Coach.
01:20:08I want an education.
01:20:13I saw the news conference last night, Johnny.
01:20:16Yeah?
01:20:16Mm-hmm.
01:20:20What'd you think?
01:20:24Show the type of character that we like in our students.
01:20:27I like that.
01:20:30Does this mean, uh, you want me to come play ball here?
01:20:39You bet I do.
01:20:40Ha, ha, ha.
01:20:57His mother told him someday you will be a man
01:21:00And you will be the leader of a big old band
01:21:03Many people coming from miles around
01:21:06We'll hear you play your music when the sun go down
01:21:09Maybe someday your name will be in life
01:21:12Saying Johnny, keep doing it now
01:21:14Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:17Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:20Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:23Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:26Go
01:21:29Johnny, keep doing it
01:21:32Yeah
01:21:53The Johnny Walker recruitment scandal widened today
01:21:58With the announcement that UCC and Old Tex have each been placed on one year probation
01:22:05Well, Joe Bob, thank God basketball season's right around the corner
01:22:10Yeah, amen to that, Tex
01:22:12You know, football ain't been good to us this year
01:22:15In a still further development
01:22:24And Lou Landers has been bought from participating in the UCC football program for life
01:22:32You got one out?
01:22:34We'll take care of it for you
01:22:36Hey, just go down for a minute
01:22:37I just want to talk to you
01:22:39Lou Landers gave me that team
01:22:41No!
01:22:57I just want to talk to you
01:22:58I just want to talk to you
01:22:59You're not a bad person
01:23:00No, no, no
01:23:01We've never had to come in
01:23:02No, no, no
01:23:04We're never had to come in
01:23:05Get the hell out of it
01:23:06Oh, go, go, go, go Johnny, go
01:23:12Go, go, go, go Johnny, go
01:23:18Johnny the girl
01:23:24Go, Johnny
01:23:43Go, Johnny
01:23:51Go, Johnny
01:23:51Go, Johnny
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