- 2 days ago
Rented A Billionaire Husband For Christmas
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:04So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:13Uh, uh...
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:22Just play him on.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:57Do you want me to stop?
00:00:59Tell me now.
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07I don't want you to stop.
00:01:12I'm shooting you all.
00:01:16I don't want you to stop.
00:01:35I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:51Sam, it's me.
00:01:52Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how.
00:01:56Just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:05Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:11I need grandkids.
00:02:13I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:15I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:26Seven years.
00:02:28Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:30And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:46I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:54Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:56And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO
00:03:00or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:02Good.
00:03:03Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela
00:03:18can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:22Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:24It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:28Where's my real one?
00:03:37I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:39Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:49Tammy!
00:03:50Oh!
00:03:58Daddy!
00:03:59No!
00:04:00I'm sorry.
00:04:01I'm not your dad.
00:04:03No, I know you're my daddy.
00:04:04Just as handsome as I am.
00:04:06Oh.
00:04:07Mommy, hurry!
00:04:09Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:18I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:21He's gorgeous.
00:04:28Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:31She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:33Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:35You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:37So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:40See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:43Hi, my name's Cybert.
00:04:44What's your name?
00:04:45Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:48Max, Aurelius.
00:04:50Eva.
00:04:51I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:55I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:58I guess Mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:01So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:07$1,000 an hour?
00:05:09Well, yeah.
00:05:11It's $500 a day.
00:05:13Is that enough?
00:05:14That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:16Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:17That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:20You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:22Look, my requirements are simple.
00:05:23Okay, play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:26and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:29And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:31so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:35So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:38Fine.
00:05:39But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:44Okay.
00:05:45Deal.
00:05:48Ready to go get married?
00:06:03Wow.
00:06:05Clean up nice.
00:06:06This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:08Pictures.
00:06:17Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:20Love.
00:06:42Okay.
00:06:43Well, I think we got it.
00:06:45Ooh.
00:06:46I need some photos of us together, too,
00:06:48to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:51and have a happy family.
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:53Of course.
00:07:03Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:05From my family to you.
00:07:15Bad news, boss.
00:07:16The agency said that the girl
00:07:18that they recruited to be your fake wife
00:07:19failed last minute.
00:07:20Wait, she bailed?
00:07:22Then who is...
00:07:26Who is she?
00:07:28Whatever.
00:07:29It doesn't matter.
00:07:31I've got what I need.
00:07:34Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:36I already found someone.
00:07:42Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:46Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:47Christmas shopping?
00:07:49I should come.
00:07:51Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:52in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:54I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:57It'll make it more believable.
00:07:58It'll make it more believable.
00:08:01Fine.
00:08:02Yeah, fine.
00:08:03Okay.
00:08:04You can come.
00:08:12Let's go.
00:08:13Which mall are we going to?
00:08:14Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:16No, let's go to the bank.
00:08:23What the actual fuck?
00:08:29Sam, is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:32of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:34Get me a DNA test for that little girl
00:08:36that he's with.
00:08:40She does kind of look like him.
00:08:45So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:47we will say they're from you.
00:08:50Here, let me get this.
00:08:53I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:56Oh, so I was, uh, thinking
00:08:59that since we're married,
00:09:02we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:06in front of them.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:08Should we use our tongues or...?
00:09:11No, no, definitely not.
00:09:12And absolutely no...
00:09:14Sex?
00:09:15Yes.
00:09:16It's strictly business.
00:09:18Anything physical outside of that
00:09:20is not happening.
00:09:22What?
00:09:23Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:26I just don't want Piper
00:09:27to have messy complications
00:09:29getting in the way
00:09:29of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:32Let's go.
00:09:39Here.
00:09:40What are you doing?
00:09:41I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:45Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:47and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:48and I don't want your money.
00:09:52Attention shoppers,
00:09:53all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5550% off pies?
00:09:56Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5812 pumpkin pies.
00:09:59Did I hear this right?
00:10:00They're the best kind.
00:10:01Hurry up and go.
00:10:02Go.
00:10:03What are you standing here for?
00:10:06Hello there.
00:10:07Hi.
00:10:07You ready?
00:10:08Yes, yeah.
00:10:08Just these things.
00:10:09Okay, great.
00:10:11We have a holiday special today.
00:10:13Spend $500,
00:10:13get 10% off,
00:10:15and you are just short
00:10:16$15 if you want to take advantage
00:10:18of the deal.
00:10:18Oh, great.
00:10:19Yeah.
00:10:20What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:22Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:24I just got here.
00:10:26Relax.
00:10:27Yeah, yeah.
00:10:30Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:32Okay, thank you.
00:10:35Hurry up and pay.
00:10:39I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:41You can wait your turn.
00:10:46Damn, my fake wife
00:10:48has some fire in her.
00:10:55Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:56Not the pies, not the pies.
00:10:57You can just set those on top.
00:11:03Hi, guys.
00:11:05I'm going to hand you
00:11:06all these pies.
00:11:11Of course.
00:11:12Thank you so much.
00:11:14Of course.
00:11:14I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:17She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:18Don't worry, I have enough
00:11:19for everybody.
00:11:20Just to give it away.
00:11:21Yeah.
00:11:23Merry Christmas.
00:11:24Merry Christmas.
00:11:29What?
00:11:30You do that often?
00:11:32As often as I can.
00:11:38We should go.
00:11:39We got to pick up paper.
00:11:43Zip, watch out.
00:12:03You done feeling me up?
00:12:06Shut up.
00:12:07Oh, sorry.
00:12:08I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:09Well, stay out of character
00:12:11until Christmas.
00:12:17And don't be late.
00:12:29Harrison Group?
00:12:31Do you do construction
00:12:32for them or something?
00:12:33Sort of.
00:12:35Not that I'm judging.
00:12:36I just need to get
00:12:38my story straight
00:12:38or my mom will eat
00:12:39both of us alive.
00:12:41Why don't we say
00:12:42that you do mid-level
00:12:43management for Harrison Group?
00:12:44I think that's respectable.
00:12:47Can we pick another company?
00:12:49No.
00:12:50Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:51And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:53My cousin's husband
00:12:53works for them, too.
00:12:54So, it's perfect.
00:13:00Oh, and, uh,
00:13:02wear something nice
00:13:02for Christmas dinner?
00:13:04Don't worry.
00:13:05Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:06I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:10Too much.
00:13:31Let's go, Sam.
00:13:32It's time to check out
00:13:33the new HQ set.
00:13:34Hold on, you're covered in water
00:13:36and you have a hair
00:13:37on your shoulder
00:13:37and it's not yours.
00:13:40It's my daughter's.
00:13:42Daughter's?
00:13:43Give me a DNA test
00:13:45for that little girl
00:13:46that he's with.
00:14:01Hey, there they are!
00:14:03Hey!
00:14:04Nice to meet you!
00:14:05Nice to meet you!
00:14:06Dad.
00:14:07I'm so glad you made it.
00:14:08Aw.
00:14:09I missed you.
00:14:10So,
00:14:11where's this mysterious
00:14:13husband we heard all about?
00:14:14He's coming.
00:14:15Please don't tell me
00:14:16Maximus bailed.
00:14:18Good, good, good.
00:14:20So,
00:14:21heard you got a new hubby,
00:14:23sweetie.
00:14:23When's he arriving?
00:14:25Oh,
00:14:26it's probably just some story
00:14:27she cooked up
00:14:28to stop people talking.
00:14:30Poor thing.
00:14:30Not surprising.
00:14:32I mean,
00:14:32she's 30.
00:14:33Once a woman hits that age,
00:14:35you become undateable.
00:14:37No,
00:14:37plus a kid looks so bad
00:14:39on dating apps.
00:14:42This is exactly why
00:14:44I refuse to come home
00:14:45single this Christmas.
00:14:46Auntie Pamela,
00:14:47Debbie,
00:14:48my dating life,
00:14:49quite frankly,
00:14:50is none of your concern.
00:14:51We're only worried about you.
00:14:54All these years
00:14:54without a husband.
00:14:56Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:58You know,
00:14:59you always spoiled her rotten.
00:15:01And look what happened.
00:15:02She got knocked up
00:15:03out of wedlock,
00:15:04raising a kid all alone.
00:15:06I'm not alone.
00:15:08And what does
00:15:09this mysterious husband do?
00:15:14He's a manager.
00:15:16Manager?
00:15:17Of what?
00:15:18Trash.
00:15:20Probably a cover
00:15:21for criminal activity.
00:15:24You don't have to lie
00:15:26to us, Eva.
00:15:27Actually,
00:15:29he's right here.
00:15:32Oh,
00:15:33wow.
00:15:36Wow.
00:15:37He is really
00:15:38good looking.
00:15:40Ah,
00:15:40must be AI.
00:15:42Mm-hmm.
00:15:42Congratulations, Eva,
00:15:44on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:46Fake.
00:15:46That's enough.
00:15:47She's our daughter
00:15:48and your niece.
00:15:50Show some respect.
00:15:51Remember last year
00:15:52when I introduced you
00:15:53to my husband's nephew,
00:15:55William,
00:15:56and you turned him down?
00:15:58Well, guess what?
00:15:59William works
00:16:00for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:02Makes 500 grand
00:16:04a year.
00:16:05That's half a million.
00:16:07Half a million.
00:16:09Girls are lining up for him
00:16:10all the way to New York.
00:16:12And speak of the devil.
00:16:17Willie,
00:16:18you made it.
00:16:30There you are.
00:16:32Oh, look at you now.
00:16:34Living the dream.
00:16:36Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:38Well, you could be driving
00:16:39around in a car like that
00:16:40had you not married
00:16:41that criminal waste manager.
00:16:43So married, huh?
00:16:45Is it serious?
00:16:48That's what marriage is.
00:16:49It's pretty serious.
00:16:51Wow.
00:16:52You must have rushed
00:16:53the time they're not, huh?
00:16:55Makes sense, though.
00:16:56You not being
00:16:57a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:59Dragging that kid around
00:17:00with no daddy.
00:17:01A bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:04Meanwhile, you're climbing
00:17:05the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:08That's right.
00:17:09Just bought this brand new suit
00:17:11with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:13Women love a man in red.
00:17:16Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:18When I sit on my lap...
00:17:20Don't touch me.
00:17:21Oh, so entitled.
00:17:24Williams, a successful man
00:17:26of taste, not waste.
00:17:28And yet, for some reason,
00:17:30he's willing to overlook
00:17:31your baggage.
00:17:32I mean, look at that car.
00:17:34Could your husband afford
00:17:36anything even close to that?
00:17:37Think of the life I can give you
00:17:39and Piper with all my
00:17:40Harrison Group money.
00:17:41Ditch your nobody husband
00:17:43and marry me instead.
00:17:46I wouldn't marry you
00:17:47if you were the last man
00:17:48on Earth.
00:17:53My mom would never marry.
00:17:55She already has a husband.
00:17:56He's gonna kick your butt.
00:18:01Is that so?
00:18:03Well, then,
00:18:04where is he?
00:18:05Because I don't see him.
00:18:07Does anyone see him?
00:18:11Now, just like I thought,
00:18:14telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:16That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:19And let me show you
00:18:20what happens to naughty children.
00:18:24Hey.
00:18:25Mommy!
00:18:26Hi.
00:18:27Are you okay?
00:18:28I see your hands.
00:18:29Oh, my God.
00:18:30I'm gonna take her in
00:18:31and get her packed stuff, okay?
00:18:32Come on, now.
00:18:33Let's go.
00:18:35What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:37How dare you put your filthy hands
00:18:39on my daughter?
00:18:42Let me go.
00:18:43Now, why would I go
00:18:44and do a thing like that
00:18:46when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:48Let me go!
00:19:03Touch my wife again
00:19:05and I will snap every finger
00:19:06that you've got.
00:19:10Max, you came.
00:19:12Sorry, sweetie.
00:19:16Where's Piper?
00:19:18William Hitter?
00:19:20Mom, Deadhub, take her inside.
00:19:21Well, it looks like
00:19:22we have a real Grinch
00:19:23to dispose of.
00:19:24Well, well, well.
00:19:26If it isn't the Waste Manager
00:19:27I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:29That's right.
00:19:32Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:35Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:38It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:39I'm Max.
00:19:40Eva told us all about you.
00:19:42From New York.
00:19:43Polite.
00:19:44Handsome.
00:19:45Just like she said.
00:19:47Wow.
00:19:48He was an AI.
00:19:50See?
00:19:50He's real.
00:19:52And he's more of a man here
00:19:53than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:55Son of a bitch!
00:19:56You just ruined my suit!
00:19:58And watch the way
00:19:58that you drive that
00:20:00pristine automobile.
00:20:02That car?
00:20:03Oh, my God.
00:20:05That's worth more than a house!
00:20:07That car?
00:20:08It was all over the news
00:20:09when the CEO
00:20:10of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:13Wait.
00:20:14Are you?
00:20:19Like I said,
00:20:20I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:22And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:24I'm not here to put on a show
00:20:26for anyone.
00:20:27You really are a criminal,
00:20:28aren't you?
00:20:29You stole it!
00:20:30That car belongs to the CEO
00:20:31of my company!
00:20:32Jesus!
00:20:33How did he get away with it?
00:20:35That's what I want to know.
00:20:37Enough!
00:20:37Please!
00:20:40I trust my daughter.
00:20:42She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:45Max,
00:20:46be honest with me.
00:20:47Where did that car come from?
00:20:50How much do you want for it?
00:20:51I'll pay you
00:20:52more money than you'd make
00:20:54in three lifetimes.
00:20:55So?
00:20:57You need a breath, man.
00:21:01Hey, attention!
00:21:01I'm calling the cops!
00:21:02Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:04Wait.
00:21:05What?
00:21:06Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:09Oh, well.
00:21:11Too late.
00:21:18Listen, hon.
00:21:19I believe you.
00:21:20But how could Max
00:21:22afford a car like that?
00:21:24Mr. Smith,
00:21:25don't worry.
00:21:26It's my car.
00:21:27Okay?
00:21:27It's not stolen.
00:21:28Yeah?
00:21:29If it's yours,
00:21:30then prove it.
00:21:32Cops will be here
00:21:33in 15 minutes.
00:21:35Enjoy Christmas
00:21:36behind bars.
00:21:36Okay.
00:21:37I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:39But then you have to get lost.
00:21:40And never show your face
00:21:42around my wife or child again.
00:21:43Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:46Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:48Loser!
00:21:49Say one more word,
00:21:50and I'll give him a real reason
00:21:51to take me in.
00:21:53Jesus, maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:56It's kind of sexy, though.
00:22:01Here.
00:22:01Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:12Mr. Harrison?
00:22:15Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18Mr. Harrison?
00:22:20Just play along.
00:22:23Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:25Now get the fuck out of here
00:22:26before I kick your ass
00:22:27all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:29Yes, sir!
00:22:30I'm so sorry, sir!
00:22:32Please,
00:22:32accept my serious apologies!
00:22:34Please?
00:22:44Oh, that William!
00:22:47What a jerk, huh?
00:22:48He fooled me!
00:22:49What can I say?
00:22:50Let's not let this little misunderstanding
00:22:53ruin the holidays.
00:22:54Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:56Oh, come on, Ada!
00:22:57No, we were just looking out for you!
00:23:00Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:02You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:04Soon.
00:23:05Do you think that, uh,
00:23:06you could help him
00:23:08get his foot in the door?
00:23:08A job at the Harrison Group
00:23:11even in the mailroom
00:23:12would open doors.
00:23:13We are family, aren't we?
00:23:15Family takes care of each other.
00:23:18If you guys want a job
00:23:19at the Harrison Group,
00:23:20you can put in an application
00:23:21like everyone else.
00:23:22Abigail, come on,
00:23:24talk to her for us.
00:23:26Didn't you just say
00:23:27that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:29Yeah.
00:23:30I think you need to take care
00:23:31of your own issues first.
00:23:33My daughter is just
00:23:34far too busy
00:23:35for your best life
00:23:36with my new son-in-law.
00:23:38Come on, guys!
00:23:39Let's go in!
00:23:40Welcome to the family!
00:23:44Welcome!
00:23:45Come on in!
00:23:46Come on in!
00:23:50This is your fault, Pam!
00:23:52You can't tell the difference
00:23:53between AI and reality!
00:23:55My fault!
00:23:57You were the one
00:23:57who was pushing her
00:23:58onto that worm, William!
00:24:00Oh!
00:24:09Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:11And how do you know
00:24:12the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:14And how do you...
00:24:14I told you,
00:24:15I work for Harrison Group,
00:24:16remember?
00:24:17I have a friend
00:24:18in high places.
00:24:19A friend who just
00:24:20hands you keys
00:24:21to million-dollar,
00:24:23one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:24Yes.
00:24:25It's the season of giving.
00:24:27He knows people,
00:24:28has connections.
00:24:30He's a big deal
00:24:30kind of guy.
00:24:32You're a crime boss,
00:24:33aren't you?
00:24:34And you best not forget it,
00:24:35capisce?
00:24:36Oh, my God,
00:24:37just don't blow your cover.
00:24:39Dad!
00:24:40Mom!
00:24:41Thank you so much
00:24:42for letting Max and I
00:24:43stay in your home.
00:24:44Oh, honey.
00:24:45We're just so happy
00:24:47that you found
00:24:48such a handsome,
00:24:49strong,
00:24:51good-looking...
00:24:52I think they get it,
00:24:53huh?
00:24:55Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:57Oh, she's fine.
00:24:58One of you guys
00:24:59just gets settled in
00:25:00and we will go check on her.
00:25:02And after your mom
00:25:03takes a cold shower,
00:25:04we'll come back
00:25:05and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:07Great.
00:25:07All right.
00:25:08See you in a bit.
00:25:09Shall we?
00:25:09What are you doing?
00:25:12Okay.
00:25:14Hey, was that not
00:25:16a breach of contract?
00:25:20Relax.
00:25:21It was just a hug.
00:25:23Ugh.
00:25:25We just got here
00:25:26and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:28You'll be okay.
00:25:29It's just one week.
00:25:30Kill me now.
00:25:31Well, I would,
00:25:32but I need to get paid.
00:25:38What are you doing?
00:25:40That's weird.
00:25:42They were so lovey-dovey
00:25:43just a second ago.
00:25:44I don't know.
00:25:45Something just feels off.
00:25:46Come on.
00:25:47That's ridiculous.
00:25:49I mean,
00:25:49what do you want him to do?
00:25:51Make him promise
00:25:51to prove him?
00:25:53Something like this.
00:25:55Later.
00:25:58Let's go.
00:26:02Here we go.
00:26:05Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:07Everything looks amazing
00:26:08and happy holidays.
00:26:10To the newest member
00:26:11of our family, Max.
00:26:13Oh.
00:26:14Welcome.
00:26:15Cheers.
00:26:16Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:17Looks great.
00:26:18Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:20I had no idea what you liked,
00:26:22so I just whipped up
00:26:23a little bit of everything.
00:26:25But we all know
00:26:26what Eva's favorite
00:26:27Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:29Mmm.
00:26:30Oh, no.
00:26:30Mom's testing him.
00:26:31She's trying to see
00:26:32if he's legit.
00:26:33You mean to tell me
00:26:34you two are married
00:26:35and you don't even know
00:26:35my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:40Ow.
00:26:41Eva, sweetie.
00:26:43Kicking my foot.
00:26:44Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:46Oh, jeez.
00:26:47What's she doing?
00:26:48It's okay.
00:26:49Look, mom,
00:26:50of course he knows it.
00:26:51I would like to hear
00:26:52Max say it.
00:27:0612 pumpkin pies.
00:27:08I hear this right?
00:27:08They're the best kind.
00:27:11Well, of course.
00:27:12It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:14See?
00:27:15Are you happy now?
00:27:17That's good,
00:27:18but something still fills off.
00:27:19Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:22We had a whirlwind romance
00:27:25and we eloped
00:27:26before we got to know
00:27:27everything about each other,
00:27:28but our marriage is real.
00:27:30I guess your mom's
00:27:31just watching too many
00:27:32of those real short shows.
00:27:34Uh, now those
00:27:35are quality.
00:27:38Okay, well,
00:27:39then answer this.
00:27:41Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:44Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:48I knew it was a good idea
00:27:50to pick this up.
00:27:51Well, um,
00:27:53it's...
00:27:54Silly face.
00:27:54Dropped it outside
00:27:55on the sidewalk.
00:27:57Luckily, I was there
00:27:58to pick it up for her.
00:28:00Silly face.
00:28:02I am not paying
00:28:03extra for this.
00:28:04Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:06It's beautiful.
00:28:07It's losers.
00:28:08It's nice.
00:28:10You can afford this
00:28:11on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:13Well, believe it or not,
00:28:14Miss Smith,
00:28:14there is a lot of garbage
00:28:16out there.
00:28:16And I'm not just
00:28:17talking about William.
00:28:19I'll drink to that.
00:28:20I agree with you there.
00:28:22So, come on, guys.
00:28:23Let's eat.
00:28:24Come on.
00:28:37And this is where
00:28:38y'all will be staying.
00:28:40I have another room
00:28:41set up for Piper.
00:28:43Nice and festive for you.
00:28:45No complications, right?
00:28:47Sorry, honey.
00:28:48Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:49I should stay with Piper
00:28:50tonight.
00:28:51Oh, honey.
00:28:52Newlyweds shouldn't
00:28:53sleep apart.
00:28:56Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:57The city's turning
00:28:58the water off at 10.
00:28:59Something about
00:29:00water conservation.
00:29:01That means you have
00:29:0215 minutes to shower.
00:29:0415 minutes?
00:29:06Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:07Just shower together.
00:29:10Shower together?
00:29:13Just shower together.
00:29:15Okay, you guys.
00:29:16Have a good night, okay?
00:29:21You hurt.
00:29:43Oh, wow.
00:29:45Why are you stripping?
00:29:47Well, I can't take a shower
00:29:48and get clothes on.
00:29:50Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:51You have 15 minutes.
00:29:52Nice try.
00:29:53I am not showering with you.
00:29:55All right, sleep yourself.
00:29:56All room for getting in there.
00:29:58Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:15Come on, Max.
00:30:17Get out of the way.
00:30:19We agreed.
00:30:20Nothing physical.
00:30:21You're the one with the
00:30:22dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:23Relax.
00:30:24I won't touch you.
00:30:26Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:30But that'll cost extra.
00:30:41In your dreams.
00:30:43In your dreams.
00:30:44Free to join me.
00:31:04You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:07You wish.
00:31:09Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:10Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:13It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:15Oh, yeah?
00:31:17True.
00:31:29Holy shit.
00:31:33Um, this is, um, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:38I'll say.
00:31:39What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:42Still think you can resist?
00:31:45Oh, baby.
00:31:47I don't think I want you.
00:31:53Max, I shut it up.
00:31:57Or maybe we should.
00:32:00God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:01Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:10Mom, we're so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:24What?
00:32:24I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:26It's not you, Max.
00:32:27It's us.
00:32:28It's this.
00:32:29This is all an act.
00:32:30Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:33You're right.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:36I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:47That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:55It's him.
00:32:56The man from New Year's.
00:32:57Is he Piper's father?
00:33:02Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh, my God.
00:33:07Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah.
00:33:12I just...
00:33:13I just got lightheaded.
00:33:15I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:17Alone.
00:33:20Of course.
00:33:23We have a daughter together.
00:33:25Oh, my God.
00:33:27What do I do?
00:33:33I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:35You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:40Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:46I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:48So if there's something you need,
00:33:49I can help.
00:33:51I want to help.
00:33:52He's Piper's father.
00:33:54He has a right to know.
00:33:57Um, Max,
00:33:59how would you feel
00:34:01if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:06A child?
00:34:08No, no, no.
00:34:09That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful.
00:34:13Mostly.
00:34:15I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:18Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:20and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:34:24Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:28I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:30Why do you ask?
00:34:32No reason.
00:34:33Just curious.
00:34:35No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:41Well, then,
00:34:43can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:51Where did you get these?
00:34:52And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those.
00:34:57I don't know where those came from.
00:34:58Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:35:04Come on.
00:35:05Come on.
00:35:06Come on.
00:35:06Come on.
00:35:07Woo!
00:35:18Elon,
00:35:20the truth is
00:35:20is that I...
00:35:24Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:27Just a second.
00:35:28Come in.
00:35:30Hey, hon.
00:35:31Oh.
00:35:32Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:34but Piper is asking for a bedtime story
00:35:37before I tuck her in.
00:35:38Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:39We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:41I can see that.
00:35:43Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:45I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:48Well, atta boy.
00:35:49You know what?
00:35:50Just put a shirt on.
00:35:51I'm going to go get her.
00:35:52Piper!
00:35:53Here comes Grandpa.
00:35:57He sprang to his sleigh,
00:35:59to his team gave a whistle,
00:36:01and away they all flew,
00:36:02like the down of a thistle.
00:36:04But I heard him exclaim,
00:36:06as he drove out of sight,
00:36:09Merry Christmas to all,
00:36:10and to all,
00:36:12a good night.
00:36:15If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:36:18she'd be over the moon.
00:36:19Good night, Piper.
00:36:25Is her dad still around?
00:36:27Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:36:29because you are her dad.
00:36:31Uh, no.
00:36:32That man has no idea
00:36:34what a treasure
00:36:36he's missing out on.
00:36:40Do you really think so?
00:36:43From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:45Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:47He deserves to know.
00:36:54Max.
00:36:57You are Piper's father.
00:37:07I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:16I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:33Where's Piper?
00:37:35She must have snuck off
00:37:36while we were asleep.
00:37:53God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:03Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:06Not on my watch.
00:38:11Yeah, this.
00:38:13I remember this.
00:38:24Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:27How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:30Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:31It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:33Wonderful.
00:38:34Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:38Oh, no.
00:38:39What is that?
00:38:40Sardines and saltines.
00:38:42It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:44It was my gram-grams favorite
00:38:45during wartime.
00:38:47Don't be shy.
00:38:48Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:50Max, you don't have to.
00:38:52No, no.
00:38:52It's okay.
00:38:53It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:56Oh, there we go.
00:39:00There we go.
00:39:05Yeah.
00:39:06Yeah.
00:39:14Good?
00:39:15Mm.
00:39:17Good?
00:39:19Well, you two better get dressed. You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:25Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:28That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:32What's the deal with them?
00:39:33Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:36Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:40Hey, don't worry. I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:46Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:50Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:40:04Wait, that earring.
00:40:06Wait, that earring.
00:40:09You like it?
00:40:10I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:13Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:16I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:22Right.
00:40:23It's just a common earring. Anyone can have it.
00:40:26Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:28She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:32So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:36But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:39Oof.
00:40:39What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:43An aging single mom.
00:40:45Slim pickings.
00:40:46I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:49That explains it.
00:40:51She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:54Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:55Ava is your niece.
00:40:57Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:59Everyone knows Eva had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:03Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:04Exactly.
00:41:05Not like my Sierra.
00:41:07Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:12Oh, they're here.
00:41:14Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:20Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:22Merry Christmas.
00:41:24You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:26I am.
00:41:27I'm Eva's husband.
00:41:28Max.
00:41:29Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:30Welcome.
00:41:31You're Eva's husband.
00:41:33But you're gorgeous.
00:41:37But not as handsome as you.
00:41:39Look at you two.
00:41:40You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:43Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:44Merry Christmas.
00:41:46This is from Max and I.
00:41:47Oh, my goodness.
00:41:48Thank you, Eva.
00:41:49Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:52Oops.
00:41:53Oh, my bad.
00:41:54Ooh.
00:41:54A homemade gift.
00:41:56How thrifty.
00:41:58Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:01Mommy's right.
00:42:02You mean a little hack.
00:42:03You little.
00:42:06You will not lay a hand on my daughter.
00:42:08Or you will lose yours.
00:42:10Oh.
00:42:11I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:14Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:15My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:19He could ruin your life.
00:42:32What are you?
00:42:33Are you okay?
00:42:34I'm fine.
00:42:35I'm just wet, honey.
00:42:36Yeah.
00:42:37It's okay.
00:42:37It's okay.
00:42:38It's okay.
00:42:39It's fine.
00:42:40What are you?
00:42:43Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:46Did you just slap me?
00:42:47Next time it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:49You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:51You know what, Sierra?
00:42:52I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:42:57Her family.
00:42:59She needs me.
00:43:04You okay, honey?
00:43:06Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:08Do something.
00:43:09You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:11I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:14Oh, wow.
00:43:14I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:20Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:23Let's call him.
00:43:24I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:27Please.
00:43:28Who do you think you are?
00:43:30Enough!
00:43:32There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:35Fine, Dad.
00:43:37Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:39They're just jealous.
00:43:42For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:44I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:48I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:52Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:53Alright, that's enough.
00:43:55Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:17Is this a joke?
00:44:19Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:21Hold it.
00:44:22Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:24My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:34King crab, fresh from Alaska.
00:44:37And grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:39Three times the price.
00:44:40Fifty times the flavor.
00:44:42And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:45It's just petty.
00:44:46Maybe so.
00:44:47But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:51Fine.
00:44:52Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:55Come on, let's go.
00:44:56No, no.
00:44:57Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:00Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like-
00:45:03I know, dear.
00:45:04I just want to have our family together.
00:45:07Fine.
00:45:07We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:10Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:12What was that?
00:45:16I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll stay.
00:45:22Can I have a little apple?
00:45:24It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:25We'll get something right after.
00:45:27Like drive-thru?
00:45:29I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:31That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:36No strays.
00:45:38Al, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:40Yes, please.
00:45:41You hit my child.
00:45:43You're fucking crazy!
00:45:44Well, if you'd teach her some manners,
00:45:46maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:51Don't worry, baby.
00:45:53I'll handle it.
00:45:56Don't worry, baby.
00:45:57I'll handle it.
00:46:00Don't worry, baby.
00:46:01Piper.
00:46:03Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:09Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:10Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:12As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:15Actually, I do.
00:46:17He's such a liar.
00:46:19This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:20Oh, it will be.
00:46:24Sam!
00:46:26Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:29I'm already on my way.
00:46:34Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:37I'm already on my way.
00:46:40You hear this guy?
00:46:41He wants the best king crab in the world from Antarctica.
00:46:46Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:48His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:52Max, what are you doing?
00:46:54Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:55Santa's already on his way.
00:46:57Actually, five?
00:46:59Five.
00:46:59Four.
00:47:00Three.
00:47:02Two.
00:47:03One.
00:47:06A helicopter?
00:47:14There's no way.
00:47:20How did you pull this off?
00:47:22Sam is like family.
00:47:23I thought I'd introduce you two.
00:47:25Thanks, boss.
00:47:26Boss?
00:47:28Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:30Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:32Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:36I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:39You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:43Mm-hmm.
00:47:46Come on.
00:47:48You can stop kidding around.
00:47:50If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:54No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:56Come on.
00:47:56You can stop the charade.
00:47:58Okay?
00:47:58This is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:01Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:02Okay.
00:48:04Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:12Oh.
00:48:17How is this possible?
00:48:19This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:25Who are you?
00:48:27I told you.
00:48:28I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:30That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:32Wait.
00:48:33No.
00:48:34Hold on.
00:48:36You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:40You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:43Hm.
00:48:44Some of the small ones.
00:48:45I mean, you know that.
00:48:47You work for me.
00:48:49Oh, God.
00:48:49I insulted my own boss.
00:48:52I'm finished.
00:48:57Okay.
00:48:58I insulted my own boss.
00:49:00I'm finished.
00:49:02Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:04Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:06Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:08For tonight, your fee stands.
00:49:11And with that, your career.
00:49:13You're fired.
00:49:15Fired?
00:49:16Sam.
00:49:21Fired?
00:49:21Oh, God.
00:49:22I can't be fired.
00:49:25What?
00:49:26Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:27You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:30Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:31I'll do anything.
00:49:33Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:40And you.
00:49:41Oh, me?
00:49:43Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:45That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:46And you.
00:49:46It's like a family tradition.
00:49:48Yeah.
00:49:49Well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:51Sam.
00:49:55Will you do me the honors?
00:49:58Gladly.
00:50:03Merry Christmas.
00:50:07Father, do something.
00:50:09Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:11I'm leaving.
00:50:13Mmm.
00:50:14Pumpkin.
00:50:14My favorite.
00:50:21Come on, sweetie.
00:50:22Daddy had this crab lying just for you.
00:50:25Eat as much as you want.
00:50:26Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:30I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:32I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:34Honestly?
00:50:36This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:39Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:40Just like this.
00:50:42Does he really mean that?
00:50:44Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:46I can't tell.
00:50:47And that terrifies me.
00:50:53Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:50:55I brought you a gift.
00:50:56Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:50:59Oh.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:05This is wonderful.
00:51:07Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:10Tell me everything.
00:51:11Miss Eva Smith.
00:51:12Single mother.
00:51:13Small town gal.
00:51:15Didn't finish high school.
00:51:16Currently works in retail.
00:51:17Oh, Maximus.
00:51:18I thought I raised you better.
00:51:20A high school dropout?
00:51:23In the Harrison family?
00:51:25Not a chance.
00:51:30She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:34Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:35Silence.
00:51:35Get me the address where she works.
00:51:38It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:39That's nice.
00:51:41We own that one.
00:51:43Good work.
00:51:44But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:55Thanks.
00:51:56So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:02Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:05And how about you?
00:52:09Me?
00:52:10Yeah.
00:52:12Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:18Eva.
00:52:29That birthmark.
00:52:30Family to me is a big commitment.
00:52:33And I don't want any loose ends.
00:52:35You know?
00:52:37Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:39So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:42No feelings, no complications.
00:52:44That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:46Hey, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:48Max.
00:52:49Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:52It's cold.
00:52:54Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:52:58Max.
00:53:00I need to tell you something.
00:53:03Something important.
00:53:05What's gotten into her?
00:53:07Is she hiding something?
00:53:09Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:12I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:18Piper is...
00:53:20Piper is...
00:53:21Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:24Sweetie.
00:53:25Oh my gosh.
00:53:26It's all swollen.
00:53:27Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:30Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:31Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:35Come on, Piper.
00:53:39Okay, let me see.
00:53:43I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:47But that's not true.
00:53:49You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:53Uh...
00:53:53Daddy!
00:53:54Mommy!
00:53:54No!
00:53:59Well...
00:54:02Don't you dare disrespect my husband!
00:54:07Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:10Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:12Really?
00:54:13Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:18You think it will sky?
00:54:21Hmm.
00:54:24I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:25Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:27I have one, too.
00:54:29Dad.
00:54:30I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:33Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:36Really? No way.
00:54:37No.
00:54:38It was actually a cactus.
00:54:40But it's still cool.
00:54:43I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:49Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:51My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:54:58And how old are you?
00:55:00Six.
00:55:01Six?
00:55:02That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:05Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:07Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:11What do I even say?
00:55:12And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:15Sorry, honey.
00:55:16This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:20Um...
00:55:21Yeah.
00:55:23Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:25Eva.
00:55:30Okay, look.
00:55:35Piper is...
00:55:40Go on.
00:55:47Must be an emergency.
00:55:49Excuse me.
00:55:51Sorry, I'll take this.
00:55:59Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:01Yeah.
00:56:03Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:05I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:10Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:13I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:16She's a high school dropout.
00:56:18Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:20And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:23I'm Eva's husband, Max.
00:56:25That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:33I'm sorry, Max. You can't know Piper's your daughter. Your mother would take her away. After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:43Eva?
00:56:45Maximus? Are you even listening to me?
00:56:47No, Mom, Mom, listen. I'm sorry, okay? Eva's my wife. And I've made up my mind. I'm not leaving her.
00:56:55Eva?
00:56:56Sasha, who's the worst dad's hero?
00:56:59She's the third child of the family, huh?
00:57:01She's the third child of the family.
00:57:02Thank you!
00:57:02I'm not leaving her.
00:57:05Oh, how good you like it.
00:57:07This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:13Oh, wow.
00:57:15That's so cool.
00:57:16What did you make?
00:57:17Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:20Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:23Thanks, guys.
00:57:24I'm glad you're here.
00:57:26Got it!
00:57:27Oh!
00:57:28Wow!
00:57:29Damn, these are nice!
00:57:31Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:38Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:40It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:42Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:43Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:45Ready, ready?
00:57:46Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:48What do we got, guys?
00:57:49Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve!
00:57:55You never told me.
00:57:59Have we met before?
00:58:04Have we met before?
00:58:07She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:12I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:15Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:26I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:27Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:29They're very common.
00:58:30I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child,
00:58:33no matter how I feel about him.
00:58:37Maybe.
00:58:40Are you okay?
00:58:43Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:46No.
00:58:48I'm fine.
00:58:50Um...
00:58:52Oh, I almost forgot.
00:58:55I got you this.
00:58:57You got me a gift, too?
00:58:58Tis the season.
00:59:00Open it.
00:59:13Gloves.
00:59:15Did you make these?
00:59:17Yeah.
00:59:18I know this is a fake marriage, but...
00:59:21that's Christmas.
00:59:22You've already done so much for me,
00:59:24I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:28How do they feel?
00:59:30Warm, right?
00:59:31Yeah.
00:59:33Warm.
00:59:34Soft.
00:59:38Perfect.
00:59:42Thank you, Eva.
00:59:44I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:59:48Really?
00:59:50Yeah, my mom, she partied all the time,
00:59:53and I got gifts.
00:59:55Plenty of them, but...
00:59:57I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:00Nothing personal.
01:00:02Well, you deserve it.
01:00:05You're a good guy.
01:00:07And someday you'll find someone special
01:00:11to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:14What if that day's today?
01:00:19What if I already found someone special?
01:00:23Right here.
01:00:37What if I'm ready for you?
01:00:42What if I went home to play here?
01:00:58Come on.
01:01:00I don't want you to stop.
01:01:07No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:23It's true.
01:01:25I want you.
01:01:34Oh god, you are trying to be fucking insane.
01:01:41Piper!
01:01:50Piper?
01:01:51Piper!
01:01:52She can't see me.
01:01:54Piper!
01:02:01Piper!
01:02:10Piper!
01:02:11Piper!
01:02:14Piper!
01:02:44Piper!
01:02:55Piper!
01:02:55Piper!
01:02:55Piper!
01:02:55Piper!
01:02:56Piper!
01:02:58Piper!
01:03:08Piper!
01:03:09Piper!
01:03:10Piper!
01:03:13Piper!
01:03:22Piper!
01:03:29Piper!
01:03:30Piper!
01:03:45Piper!
01:03:57Piper!
01:03:59Piper!
01:04:05Piper!
01:04:07Piper!
01:04:29Piper!
01:04:36Piper!
01:04:37Piper!
01:04:37Piper!
01:05:03Piper!
01:05:04Piper!
01:05:04Piper!
01:05:04Piper!
01:05:17Piper!
01:05:33Piper!
01:05:35Piper!
01:06:04Piper!
01:06:04Piper!
01:06:04Piper!
01:06:04Piper!
01:06:07Piper!
01:06:08Piper!
01:06:08Piper!
01:06:09Piper!
01:06:09Piper!
01:06:09Piper!
01:06:09Piper!
01:06:09Piper!
01:06:10Piper!
01:06:14Piper!
01:06:14Piper!
01:06:15Piper!
01:06:17Piper!
01:06:19Piper!
01:06:22Piper!
01:06:23Piper!
01:06:25Piper!
01:06:25the agreement too can i just pay you a little extra and skip it hey you promised eve i haven't
01:06:33asked you for much can you do this for me please all right fine when two days i'll come pick
01:06:43you
01:06:43up no need just send me the address on me either i know you and mommy thought but she still
01:06:56really
01:06:57likes you so don't give up okay daddy thank you if there's one thing you should know about your daddy
01:07:03i always fight for the ones i love
01:07:25eva's meeting my mother today time to finally tell her the truth boss boss
01:07:35lady and gentlemen i am so sorry i need to go win back my family family boss you okay
01:07:44never better go get her max
01:07:51give it your best smile ah there he is maximus darling
01:07:58i have some prospects for you nice high society girls from the city
01:08:07oh i told you i already found the woman i love
01:08:17maximus stop this that eva woman is scamming you son tell me what kind of woman you want and i'll
01:08:25find you another you are heir to the harrison dynasty no i'm not
01:08:32oh
01:08:33i work in waste management and i'm a secret crime boss i'm eva's husband and i'm a father
01:08:41what
01:08:55oh
01:08:56that's her the woman who got my son head over heels
01:09:02Hi. Welcome in. Can I help you find something?
01:09:05I want to try those.
01:09:10Awesome. I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:13Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:19No, no, no.
01:09:20I know what I want. Size 7.
01:09:24Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:28Come on. She wants the white shoes.
01:09:35Ignore her.
01:09:36She's just grumpy over the holidays. Here, let me help you.
01:09:40Come on.
01:09:45She seems kind.
01:09:51I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:09:53She's just doing her job.
01:09:56How do they feel?
01:09:58Well, I love the style,
01:10:00but it's too small.
01:10:01I think I need a size up.
01:10:03Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:08Right away.
01:10:09I'll be right back.
01:10:11She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:10:14Was I wrong about her?
01:10:30Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:33Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:35She can't walk.
01:10:39That's just pure evil.
01:10:43Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:10:46She's in a wheelchair.
01:10:48Who cares?
01:10:49It's the last pair.
01:10:50I get paid commission.
01:10:57I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:00See?
01:11:02This is your whole problem.
01:11:05This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:09I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:11I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:14She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:17People who insult her all day?
01:11:20I'm your manager.
01:11:25Sell the old bitty the shoes,
01:11:27or you're fired.
01:11:34Did I stutter?
01:11:39You don't have to fire me.
01:11:43I quit.
01:11:49I don't work here anymore.
01:11:52Listen.
01:11:53Don't buy the shoes.
01:11:55They're broken.
01:11:56Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:58You're a good person after all.
01:12:01Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:04I'm sorry?
01:12:07Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:09Get out!
01:12:15You're not disabled?
01:12:17Selling a broken heel to someone
01:12:19you thought was handicapped?
01:12:22Absolutely shameful.
01:12:23Who are you?
01:12:25I am the chairwoman
01:12:26of the Harrison Group
01:12:29and the owner of this store.
01:12:32You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:12:34Mother of the CEO?
01:12:36I am.
01:12:37And you, my dear,
01:12:38are fired.
01:12:40What did I do?
01:12:44You are a good person.
01:12:46From now on,
01:12:48this store is yours to run.
01:12:53Are you serious?
01:12:56That's right.
01:12:58Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:00You are professional,
01:13:02responsible,
01:13:04far better than that two-bit manager.
01:13:08You.
01:13:10Out.
01:13:12I'll leave.
01:13:15I'm leaving.
01:13:18I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:22No.
01:13:23Don't worry.
01:13:24You're getting a promotion.
01:13:26What?
01:13:27You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:31First assignment?
01:13:33I want that row
01:13:34and that row
01:13:36and the entire display case.
01:13:39Pack it all up
01:13:41and bring it to my house.
01:13:42Okay.
01:13:46Once we're home,
01:13:47I'll tell her
01:13:48I'm her mother-in-law.
01:13:49I can't wait
01:13:51to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:13:59She's the mother of the CEO.
01:14:01Of course she lives like this.
01:14:12Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:14I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:18Max?
01:14:19Eva?
01:14:20What are you doing here?
01:14:23I, uh...
01:14:24There you are, Eva!
01:14:27Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:30My new daughter-in-law.
01:14:33What are you ta-
01:14:37That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:14:42Well, I tried to tell you, but-
01:14:44Stop!
01:14:45And you?
01:14:47You lied to me at the store!
01:14:49You were both just testing me?
01:14:51Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:14:54I'm sorry, Eva.
01:14:55I thought you might be using my son
01:14:57just after his money,
01:14:59but I was wrong.
01:15:00Eva, please.
01:15:01I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:15:03Not every working class girl is after your money.
01:15:07How could you think that of me?
01:15:08It's not like that, dear.
01:15:11Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:13Mom!
01:15:14What did you do?
01:15:15I-I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:15:18We're not together.
01:15:20And I can't love something that was never real.
01:15:26I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:29What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:31Go after her!
01:15:35Eva.
01:15:36Let me go!
01:15:37I swear, it's not what you think.
01:15:39We come from two completely different worlds.
01:15:41Stop pretending like you care!
01:15:42I'm not pretending!
01:15:44Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:15:46In everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:15:53Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:15:57Max, you came.
01:15:59God, you are driving me fucking insane.
01:16:03I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:16:07Just say the word.
01:16:11See?
01:16:14Stop fighting.
01:16:17We belong together.
01:16:20You're wrong.
01:16:21Wrong about what?
01:16:23That you care?
01:16:25Or we belong together?
01:16:26Look, I already told you.
01:16:28We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:30No, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother.
01:16:33Like we discussed.
01:16:35I want a fake divorce from my fake husband.
01:16:40Eva.
01:16:43Eva!
01:16:46I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:16:47Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:16:56Ow!
01:16:57Are you okay, Mommy?
01:16:59Yeah, sweetie.
01:17:00I'm fine.
01:17:02Come here.
01:17:10No, you're not fine.
01:17:12You're sad.
01:17:15I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:18I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:23I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:17:28Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:31Lovebug.
01:17:33You're right.
01:17:34What am I doing?
01:17:35Running like a coward?
01:17:39I've always taught you to be brave.
01:17:41I've always taught you to be brave.
01:17:42Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:17:45I believe in you.
01:17:46What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:17:49I know exactly what to say to him.
01:17:53Maximus deserves to know, Piper is his daughter.
01:18:03Enough sulking.
01:18:04Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:18:08Don't you think I want to?
01:18:10She doesn't want me.
01:18:12I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:14Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:15You can't abandon her.
01:18:17Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:19I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:18:22And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:18:26What are you talking about?
01:18:28I already ran a DNA test.
01:18:31Piper is your daughter.
01:18:33What?
01:18:34See for yourself.
01:18:41I was right.
01:18:43Seven years ago.
01:18:45New Years, that woman was Eva.
01:18:57Eva!
01:18:59Hey!
01:19:01Daddy!
01:19:03Daddy!
01:19:04Piper!
01:19:07I've missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:15You came back.
01:19:20I, uh...
01:19:22Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:30I, uh...
01:19:32I was scared.
01:19:33But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:19:36Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:19:40Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:19:43I have something to tell you, too.
01:19:48Piper is your daughter.
01:19:50You knew.
01:19:51My sweet granddaughter.
01:19:53Grandma!
01:19:57I just found out for sure a few minutes ago, but you've known this whole time?
01:20:02I was scared.
01:20:03Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:20:05I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:20:08How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:21I love you, Eva.
01:20:25I love you, too.
01:20:27I promise.
01:20:28For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:20:32As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:20:45Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:48For real this time?
01:20:50Yes.
01:20:51Yes, of course I'll marry you.
01:20:57Yes.
01:20:58Hi.
01:21:06Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas, and the Christmas after that, and forever.
01:21:13I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:21:20Who's that?
01:21:22Eva!
01:21:25Take me back!
01:21:28I'm sorry!
01:21:29I struck your tire!
01:21:33Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:21:35Again.
01:21:39No?
01:21:39Not funny?
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