- 2 days ago
Evil Toons 1992 Remastered
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00.
00:00:03.
00:00:05.
00:00:05Oh, my God.
00:00:55Remember, in times of trouble, let your conscience be your guide.
00:01:05Oh, my God.
00:01:56Oh, my God.
00:02:00Oh, my God.
00:02:25I never knew you were one to jump to conclusions.
00:02:35Oh, my God.
00:02:36You can't get rid of me that easily.
00:02:38I'll be back.
00:02:39You'll see.
00:02:40You can't get rid of me.
00:02:40Oh, my God.
00:02:44Oh, my God.
00:06:18Hey, kids, this is it.
00:06:23Well, that wasn't too bad.
00:06:26Oh, speak for yourself.
00:06:27I personally was never cut out to be a contortionist.
00:06:31Contortionist? What's that?
00:06:32It's a political party.
00:06:33It's a political party, but don't worry.
00:06:33The Republicans are still way ahead.
00:06:35Well, actually, it means a person's ability to twist their body into strange and unusual positions.
00:06:41Well, that certainly sounds like Roxanne to me.
00:06:45Really?
00:06:46Oh, dream on.
00:06:48Oh, dream on.
00:06:48Hey, let's get this stuff out.
00:06:49I feel like I'm on display here in the middle of the street.
00:06:52Let's do it.
00:07:09Now, you girls understand the deal, right?
00:07:11Now, you girls understand the deal, right?
00:07:21A lousy hundred bucks.
00:07:24There is, but you have to beat around the bush to get it.
00:07:30And how.
00:07:32What does she mean by that?
00:07:33Just keep pulling out the stuff, Megan.
00:07:35Hey, just sign it, saying that you understand the game, and I can get the hell out of here.
00:07:39I hope someone is the keys to this palace.
00:07:42Don't worry.
00:07:43As your team leader, I've got everything we need to get through the weekend.
00:07:46Did you bring any men?
00:07:48Oh, I see you're hiding them under your shirt.
00:07:51Sign up, Roxanne.
00:07:53Oh, too bad.
00:07:54It's a couple of midgets.
00:07:56Yeah, well, listen.
00:07:57In case you didn't hear it down at the office, there's no hanky-pecky going on here.
00:08:00You leave your boyfriends down the football field or wherever the hell you found them.
00:08:03Power even turned on?
00:08:04Well, the electricity is.
00:08:06The phone's out until the new owners move in.
00:08:07Well, what if there's an emergency or something?
00:08:09Oh, I think we're supposed to go running down the street screaming, right?
00:08:14No.
00:08:15There's a neighbor, Mr. Hinchlow.
00:08:16He's got a phone.
00:08:17I spoke to him earlier in the day.
00:08:19He's going to drop by later and introduce himself.
00:08:21Great.
00:08:21We can call out for pizza.
00:08:22Yeah, but remember, no monkey business.
00:08:25I've got a reputation to think of.
00:08:27He's got his reputation to live down.
00:08:29Sleazeball.
00:08:30Oh, I think he's kind of cute.
00:08:33Well, in a weird sort of twisted way, of course.
00:08:37Very twisted.
00:08:41Let's get going, guys.
00:08:44Do some of that stuff, man.
00:08:49Guys?
00:08:51Hold on.
00:08:56Oh, look.
00:08:58Hell house.
00:09:00Looks like our sorority house to me.
00:09:03It displays a certain charm.
00:09:05Not altogether unpleasant.
00:09:07Maybe you can assume the mortgage after the new owners disappear.
00:09:17Put this down.
00:09:19All right.
00:09:20Oh.
00:09:27What was that stuff you were saying about the new owners disappearing?
00:09:31Well, this house has a long history of mayhem and madness.
00:09:36Pretty strange and unusual and weird things have happened here.
00:09:39Such as?
00:09:41Well, it was the Mortimer family.
00:09:44The last ones to live here.
00:09:45They simply vanished one night after about a month of moving in.
00:09:49What happened to them?
00:09:51Nobody really knows, but it's assumed they took off in the middle of the night so freaked
00:09:55out they left everything behind.
00:09:58Everything?
00:09:59Even their CD player.
00:10:01No shit.
00:10:02Let's get this junk in the kitchen and see if the fridge is in working water.
00:10:06Meg, go get the bags from the street.
00:10:16Okay.
00:10:20Okay.
00:10:41Oh, I saw the van.
00:10:43Figured it was you.
00:10:45Thought I'd stop by and let you know I was here.
00:10:47Are you Mr.?
00:10:48Hinchlow.
00:10:49Yes, I have the house down the block here.
00:10:51I'm Megan.
00:10:52I'm just here for the weekend.
00:10:54Ah, short stay.
00:10:57Good thing.
00:11:00Um, would you like to meet the other girls?
00:11:03Oh, I'd be delighted.
00:11:05You know, I remember this house when it was only about that tall.
00:11:10Oh, no kidding.
00:11:14I don't know about you guys, but this place doesn't look so messy.
00:11:18You know, it should be a cinch if we all pitch in and get to it.
00:11:21Bridges in working order.
00:11:22Great.
00:11:23Here, put this stuff in there.
00:11:25Ham.
00:11:26Yeah.
00:11:27Cheese.
00:11:28Bowl.
00:11:30Beers.
00:11:31Um.
00:11:34And butter?
00:11:35Damn ask.
00:11:37Whoa.
00:11:40Look who I found outside.
00:11:42Mr. Hinchlow?
00:11:44Yeah.
00:11:46You the guy with the phone?
00:11:48That's right.
00:11:50Well, I'm Terry.
00:11:51Hi.
00:11:52Hi.
00:11:53I represent the Waitley Cleaning Company, and this is Roxanne and Jan, and I guess you already
00:11:59know Megan.
00:12:00I have the pleasure, yeah.
00:12:01There's something we can do for you, Mr. Hinchlow.
00:12:06No.
00:12:06No, I just, uh, came in to have a look at your faces, in case I have to identify you
00:12:12later
00:12:12on.
00:12:13Identify us?
00:12:14Your bodies, I mean, for the cops.
00:12:16Um, if there's a need, you know.
00:12:19I'm afraid we don't know.
00:12:21Well, there's been several murders in this neighborhood, and I, I wouldn't want anything
00:12:26to happen to you girls, of course.
00:12:29Of course.
00:12:30Well, we really appreciate your concern, Mr. Hinchlow, and now, if you're done memorizing
00:12:34us, we've got a lot of work to do.
00:12:36Of course, I guess.
00:12:37Uh, if you need anything, I'm just down the block.
00:12:39It's the brown house that's slightly green with mold.
00:12:43Just holler if you need anything.
00:12:47Thanks.
00:12:48We'll remember that.
00:12:51So now what?
00:12:53Well, I say we start in the basement.
00:12:55Why the basement?
00:12:57Because it's dark and creepy, and probably the last place you want to be after sundown.
00:13:00You got it.
00:13:01Come on.
00:13:03Let's do it.
00:13:05Why do these things always have to start with young, beautiful coeds going into the basement?
00:13:18This must be where all the missing bodies are buried.
00:13:22Don't worry.
00:13:23We're not doing any digging.
00:13:25It's not in our job description.
00:13:27Come on.
00:13:32Come on, scaredy cat.
00:13:34Get in there.
00:13:36I just want to be the last one to get it.
00:13:40Oh, come on.
00:13:56Well, what are you chickens waiting for?
00:13:59Let's get the light turned on.
00:14:01You do it.
00:14:02We're not budging.
00:14:02It's dark in here.
00:14:04Jeez, it's just a basement.
00:14:10Maybe to you.
00:14:11But I say, it's the guts of Hell House.
00:14:17Is this the part where we find the secret Ouija board and all become possessed by demons?
00:14:22No, I think this is the part where we get just plain bored and get possessed by the spirit
00:14:27of Mr. Clean.
00:14:30Look, guys.
00:14:31No bodies, no monsters.
00:14:34Just an old storage space that smells like a locker room.
00:14:38It's even too ugly to mop.
00:14:41So what do we do with it?
00:14:42Well, I say we just straighten up.
00:14:45Why don't you guys stack up some of the boxes and we'll move things around.
00:14:48It'll start looking better and we can call it a day.
00:14:50Terry's right.
00:14:51Let's do it.
00:14:54Let's do it.
00:15:16Hey, check this out.
00:15:19What's the big deal?
00:15:21There's a lot of trucks down here.
00:15:23Yeah, but take this tag.
00:15:33I've seen a lot of odd languages.
00:15:35Never one like this before.
00:15:41I wonder what it says.
00:15:43Probably some kind of travel tag from an exotic vacation.
00:15:48Yeah, in hell.
00:15:53Come on, cut the ghost stories and help me get it open.
00:15:57Oh, stink goat.
00:16:00Oh, it smells like something died.
00:16:03Look here.
00:16:07Oh, great.
00:16:10Where's the rest of him?
00:16:11There's more.
00:16:13Well, look.
00:16:15That just about completes our tour of Dr. Satan's Neighborhood.
00:16:19Tune in next week when we hear Roxanne say...
00:16:21Let's get the hell out of here.
00:16:24Yeah, we can finish tomorrow.
00:16:26I need some air.
00:16:28Well, I'm going to take some of these things with me.
00:16:30Why?
00:16:31They may be important.
00:16:34Well, you remember what that Hinchelow said.
00:16:36About bodies?
00:16:39Yeah, there may be clues.
00:16:42What you're really trying to say is they may be antiques.
00:16:46Valuable ones.
00:16:47That nobody but us knows about or we'll miss.
00:16:51Well, maybe.
00:16:53But listen, if they are valuables, we'll split whatever we have, okay?
00:16:57Deal?
00:16:58Deal.
00:17:00Come on, let's get.
00:17:01Let's do it.
00:17:25This place doesn't induce much of an appetite in me.
00:17:28Well, it isn't exactly Mama-san's brand of bologna, but it'll do if you're as hungry as I am.
00:17:36Great, a thunderstorm.
00:17:38How come every time you stay in an old spooky house that has the lightning and thunder?
00:17:41Well, I think it's standard issue.
00:17:44Let's go join the others.
00:18:11Let's go join the others.
00:18:30How can you read that stuff in a night like this?
00:18:33In a house like this?
00:18:35And then Reginald, with an insane look,
00:18:37grabbed the long-twisted blade of the demon sword
00:18:40and plunged it deep into the exposed breast
00:18:43of young nubile Catherine.
00:18:45Are you okay?
00:18:48Just some sandwich stuck in my throat.
00:18:50Have you guys seen rocks?
00:19:00Want to see how I got my hooks in the fifth bullet for fall captain?
00:19:05Again?
00:19:07I do.
00:19:09Okay, here's how it starts.
00:19:24Nothing to lose, rhythm and blues.
00:19:28Wishing well under her spell.
00:19:32Brushing your lips, lipstick on cigarette.
00:19:38Dangerous dance, strange, old man.
00:19:42Heat of the night, no wrong or right.
00:19:45Hardcore abuse, loosely cut and loose.
00:19:52Woman with an attitude.
00:19:56Playing with a loaded gun.
00:19:59Woman with an attitude.
00:20:01Wow, that was interesting.
00:20:03You get some every time.
00:20:08Here, come on.
00:20:09I'll show you how.
00:20:10No, I couldn't.
00:20:11I'm not sure.
00:20:13Come on, it's easy.
00:20:17Come on.
00:20:19It's done.
00:20:20Come on.
00:20:22Come on.
00:20:24There you go, hold on.
00:20:29It's done.
00:20:30It's done.
00:20:32Check her out.
00:20:34That's my head.
00:20:39My, my, where have you been hiding that?
00:20:42We've got some stiff competition here, girls.
00:20:47Walking with an attitude.
00:20:50Living with an attitude.
00:20:51Playing with an energetic gun.
00:20:52Remind me to show you how to use it sometime.
00:21:04What could that be?
00:21:06It's probably Henchlow looking for a good time.
00:21:10You should answer it.
00:21:12Police, it's just a doorbell.
00:21:25Can I help you?
00:21:29Is there anything we can do for you?
00:21:33Delivery.
00:21:40We don't live here.
00:21:41And the new owners won't be around until Monday.
00:21:44Maybe you should come back then.
00:21:49Delivery.
00:21:51Uh, sure.
00:21:53Do I need to sign anything?
00:21:58Um, let's close the door.
00:22:22I wonder what it is.
00:22:24A box of candy?
00:22:26Look, it says open immediately.
00:22:29Let's see what's inside.
00:22:31No.
00:22:32It doesn't belong to us.
00:22:34Well, maybe it's perishable.
00:22:37And if we don't, we might get in more trouble.
00:22:40There's a point.
00:22:42Well, okay.
00:22:43But if it's not, we wrap it right back.
00:22:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:46Let's open it.
00:22:59Oh, yuck.
00:23:00What a hideous thing.
00:23:02What is it?
00:23:03A book or something?
00:23:05It's the Transylvania Yellow Pages.
00:23:08Ooh.
00:23:09Should we look inside?
00:23:11We've gone this far.
00:23:15Ew, I don't really like touching this.
00:23:17It looks like somebody's face.
00:23:21Probably human skin.
00:23:23Probably worth a fortune.
00:23:26Hmm.
00:23:30Hey, do any of you guys read foreign languages?
00:23:33Jan, you do, don't you?
00:23:36I know how to say how much in Spanish.
00:23:38I can answer that in five languages.
00:23:43But that's all.
00:23:45Well, I bet little Miss Egghead upstairs knows how to read this.
00:23:48Roxanne, why don't you go up and find out?
00:23:51Okay.
00:24:10That's gross.
00:24:13It is.
00:24:16Now that's gross.
00:24:18It's only a picture, but it looks like some ancient sorcerer's wet dream.
00:24:23Yuck.
00:24:31piano plays softly
00:25:50Ready to rejoin the troops?
00:25:52I guess so.
00:25:53A little embarrassed?
00:25:54No, a little.
00:25:57Well, don't be.
00:25:59I mean, you've got a great body.
00:26:01You just need to get some use out of it.
00:26:03What a night.
00:26:05Yeah, but right now, Terry wants you downstairs.
00:26:07Some creepy old man delivered a book with a face on it,
00:26:12and she thought maybe you could read some of it
00:26:14and tell us what it's all about.
00:26:16Really?
00:26:17Hmm, same.
00:26:18I could try.
00:26:22Get a load of that drawing.
00:26:24Ew, it looks like they're doing it.
00:26:26Gross.
00:26:27Look where that thing's tongue is going.
00:26:30Makes me squirm in my seat just thinking about it.
00:26:33Well, don't show it to Roxanne, or she might want to try it.
00:26:39Where's that strange book?
00:26:41It's right here.
00:26:57That guy's tongue is...
00:26:59Yeah, yeah, we saw it, so can you read it?
00:27:04Well, it looks like ancient Latin.
00:27:08Great.
00:27:08The one class I skip regularly.
00:27:13Ooh, a handsome fellow.
00:27:15Yeah, we know, but can you make out anything?
00:27:18Well, it's kind of rough, but I'll give it a try.
00:27:22Demons of the mind, hear the summons,
00:27:26give of our energy to that of the unliving,
00:27:30for that which lives not may never die.
00:27:35Does it get any better?
00:27:37We, your devoted slaves,
00:27:39give of our bodies,
00:27:41that thou may live,
00:27:43but a life unto death.
00:27:45We beg of you, answer our pleas.
00:27:48Okay, is that many jokes in there?
00:27:50It gets pretty rocky after that.
00:27:52What do you mean, rocky?
00:27:54Are you the Latin wizard, Miskatonic U, or what?
00:27:57Well, ancient demon incantations
00:28:00aren't covered until next semester.
00:28:02Rats!
00:28:03Oh, wait a minute.
00:28:04Here's a footnote.
00:28:05I think I can read this.
00:28:07In the name of God,
00:28:09if you value your immortal soul,
00:28:12never, ever, ever, ever
00:28:14read the above incantation allowed.
00:28:17And I mean, don't never.
00:28:20Well, that was fun.
00:28:23Any dirty pictures in here?
00:28:25Tons.
00:28:26But I'm turning in, not turning on.
00:28:28Yeah, me too.
00:28:29And if you guys had any sense,
00:28:30you would too.
00:28:32I'm ready.
00:28:33Not me.
00:28:34I'm expecting some company.
00:28:37Company?
00:28:38Yeah.
00:28:39Biff Bullock said that he might drop by
00:28:41around midnight.
00:28:42You remember what Burt Wentworth said
00:28:44about no monkey business.
00:28:47Sure.
00:28:47But Biff's not a monkey,
00:28:49and he'll only be here for an hour or so.
00:28:51Who's gonna know?
00:28:52If it's Biff, it'll be five minutes,
00:28:54and the whole school's gonna know.
00:28:57And Rox?
00:28:58Yeah.
00:29:00He does look like a monkey.
00:29:02Oh, you're just jealous.
00:29:04Listen, don't screw up this gig, okay?
00:29:06Or we might get in some big trouble.
00:29:09Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:13Good night.
00:29:14See ya.
00:29:14Later, kid.
00:29:15Night.
00:29:17Wow.
00:29:19How does he get his tongue in there?
00:29:40This place sure spooks me.
00:29:42Well, if you hear a scream in the middle of the night,
00:29:44it'll probably be Roxanne.
00:29:46Losing her virginity for the fifth time.
00:29:49I wish I had her sense of adventure.
00:29:52Just be glad you don't have her sense of propriety.
00:29:55But it must be so exciting to trice
00:29:57with so many strong, muscular men.
00:30:01Trice.
00:30:01Listen, Meg.
00:30:02Next time you want to know what it's like,
00:30:03just do that little dance Roxanne shows you.
00:30:06I'm sure that'll at least cover the foreplay.
00:30:08Was I good?
00:30:09Oh, honey, you were great.
00:30:11Why, you just reeked of sex.
00:30:14Okay, everyone.
00:30:15Let's get some sleep before the carnal Olympics
00:30:18start downstairs.
00:30:28Oh, my God.
00:30:30Oh, my God.
00:30:31Oh, my God.
00:30:33Oh, my God.
00:30:34Oh, my God.
00:30:37Oh, my God.
00:30:38Oh, my God.
00:30:38Oh, my God.
00:30:38Oh, my God.
00:30:38Oh, my God.
00:30:40Oh, my God.
00:30:44Oh, my God.
00:30:45Oh, my God.
00:31:09Okay.
00:31:28Okay.
00:31:30Okay.
00:31:36Got you now, bitch.
00:31:51Okay.
00:32:23Okay.
00:32:32Oh, boy.
00:32:35Cool.
00:32:35Hmm.
00:32:37Hmm.
00:32:47Okay.
00:33:14Hmm.
00:33:15Hmm.
00:33:19Hmm.
00:33:21Hmm.
00:34:37Biff, is that you?
00:34:40Come on out.
00:34:41I recognize your voice.
00:35:07Biff, is that you?
00:35:13Biff, is that you?
00:35:28Biff, is that you?
00:35:31Biff, is that you?
00:35:43Bullshit!
00:35:50Don't miss it.
00:35:52Yeah, that's number five.
00:35:56You mean...
00:35:57Well, they're not playing Twister.
00:36:02Maybe they are.
00:36:08Oh, my God.
00:36:15It stopped.
00:36:16What did I tell you? That biff?
00:36:18I didn't even hear the whistle for the two-minute warning.
00:36:20Good boy.
00:36:21Well, they always said he was the fastest guy on the team.
00:36:23Now maybe we can get some shut-eye.
00:36:26That did not sound like the ecstatic coupling of young lovers to me.
00:36:31Maybe she's in trouble.
00:36:34Why don't you check in on them?
00:36:35I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
00:36:37Well, maybe just a peek.
00:36:40To be sure, help yourself.
00:36:43And Meg? Yeah?
00:36:45Be sure to tell us where his tongue is. I'm dying to know.
00:36:50She's such a drag.
00:36:53They're rushing to hear some noises.
00:37:00They're-
00:37:04They're only reading the laws, the laws, the laws, the laws, the laws, the laws, the laws, the laws, the
00:37:06laws, the laws, the laws, the laws, the laws.
00:37:06From Sam, Bill?
00:37:31Hello?
00:37:38Rocks, you scared me to death.
00:37:40Hello, Meg.
00:37:42Can I help you?
00:37:44What are you doing?
00:37:45We heard screams and now you're here naked and covered in blood.
00:37:48Are you okay?
00:37:54I cut myself opening a bottle of wine.
00:37:57It ruined my nightgown.
00:37:58I was just changing.
00:38:01What about the screams?
00:38:03So I got a little carried away.
00:38:05Why don't you go back to bed?
00:38:07I'm all right and this will be here soon.
00:38:10We wouldn't want to spoil the moment now, would we?
00:38:13No, of course not.
00:38:14I was just worried about you.
00:38:17Megan, you're so sweet.
00:38:20Uh, well, good night.
00:38:24Later.
00:38:44What's gotten into you?
00:38:45Yeah, did you penalize him five yards for an illegal use of hands or was it backfield in motion?
00:38:51Biff's not here yet.
00:38:55Well, I know what it is.
00:38:57Roxanne was practicing for the big moment.
00:38:59She was standing there like some kind of robot or something, naked and covered with blood.
00:39:04Are you kidding?
00:39:06She said she cut herself and ruined her nightie, but I didn't see any cuts.
00:39:11Well, is she all right?
00:39:12She said she was, but...
00:39:15But what?
00:39:15Well, I don't know.
00:39:17She was just really strange.
00:39:20Weird.
00:39:21It was really creepy.
00:39:23Forget it, Meg.
00:39:24This whole place is creepy.
00:39:25Just try to get some sleep if you can.
00:39:27I don't know.
00:39:38I don't know.
00:40:07Alive.
00:40:10Alive again.
00:40:29Alive.
00:40:32Alive.
00:40:34Alive.
00:40:37Alive.
00:40:40Alive.
00:40:48Alive.
00:40:50Alive.
00:40:54Alive.
00:40:58Alive.
00:41:00Alive.
00:41:18Alive.
00:41:20Alive.
00:41:26Alive.
00:41:28Alive.
00:41:32Alive.
00:41:39Alive.
00:41:41Alive.
00:41:53Alive.
00:41:55Alive.
00:41:57Alive.
00:41:57Alive.
00:42:20Milk of milk.
00:42:25It wasn't that kind of scream.
00:42:29Are you on that kick again?
00:42:32I just think somebody should check into it.
00:42:35Well, I nominate you.
00:42:37And I second it.
00:42:39Why me?
00:42:40Face it, Meg. All you really want to do is see Roxanne in action and pick up a few pointers.
00:42:44I do not.
00:42:46Either way, it's a dark storm tonight.
00:42:48We're four young, attractive girls in a big, spooky house all alone.
00:42:51If we don't go downstairs one at a time, how will we ever get bumped off without the others knowing
00:42:56about it?
00:42:57That's a terrible thing to say.
00:43:00Well, maybe.
00:43:01But I think you've got the you're it syndrome.
00:43:04You're gonna be the first to get it, so you have to go downstairs and check out the situation before
00:43:09we do.
00:43:09It's not our time to go yet.
00:43:11I think Jan's right. I think you've got you're it written all over you.
00:43:16You guys are just trying to scare me.
00:43:18You're right. So why don't you just go back to sleep before Terry and I decide to murder you ourselves.
00:43:26Going anyway?
00:43:27I'm just going to the bathroom.
00:43:30Honest. I'll be right back.
00:43:33I wouldn't do that if I were you.
00:43:38That kid is weird.
00:43:41Yes, she is.
00:43:48A canvas is a canvas or a painting.
00:43:51A rock is a rock or a statue.
00:43:55A sound is a sound or it's music.
00:43:58I won't do that.
00:44:13Tindy.
00:44:14Oh, man.
00:44:15Big a nose.
00:44:19Big a nose.
00:44:21Oh, my God.
00:44:51Oh, what's the matter, Frankie? How'd you get so stuck in a wall?
00:44:56Wait a minute, I'll get you on.
00:45:10Hello? Yeah, this is Bert. Who's this?
00:45:14Hinchlow? What the hell are you on? Do you know what time it is?
00:45:20No, I'm watching TV. What the hell are you doing right now?
00:45:26I didn't give you the snubber so you can call me up in the middle of the night and bug
00:45:29me.
00:45:34They did what? Screaming at the top of their lungs?
00:45:40Was they screaming in pleasure or something like that?
00:45:44You know, one of those girls is a contortionist.
00:45:48Yeah, it's a political party.
00:45:52Oh, in terror. Real blood-curdling stuff.
00:45:59What? And a guy parked his car out in front?
00:46:02What the hell are you doing, watching him with a telescope?
00:46:04Uh-huh.
00:46:05Oh, yeah? What kind of lens you got?
00:46:08Hey, listen. Okay, okay.
00:46:11Yeah, I'll be over there. This better be serious.
00:46:19Nice, fresh piece of halibut for you.
00:46:27I'll give you two of them, don't worry.
00:46:31How come this guy never won an Academy Award?
00:46:40Burt, honey?
00:46:42Yeah?
00:46:43Where you going?
00:46:45Out. I gotta go check on those broads I left at the old house. Something funny's going on there.
00:46:49But, Burt, it's Friday.
00:46:53So what? I gotta go.
00:46:56Burt, Friday night.
00:47:01Why does every week have to have a Friday night in it?
00:47:18You're gonna hurt yourself like that some day?
00:47:21Yeah.
00:47:54That's Meg.
00:47:55Maybe she really was it.
00:47:57Now we've gotta go down there. Things may be getting a little rough.
00:48:01We should get something heavy in case I have to conk that biff on the noggin.
00:48:04Yeah. Don't spare the weight.
00:48:08How's this?
00:48:09It's a killer.
00:48:11Let's go, but quietly.
00:48:13Okay.
00:48:37Meg.
00:48:38Are you alright?
00:48:40Biff's dead.
00:48:43Oh, shit.
00:48:45Why's he covered with his tapestry?
00:48:48Someone's trying to hide the body.
00:48:51That's like sweeping him under the rug.
00:48:53It's a soul shroud.
00:48:55A what?
00:48:57A soul shroud.
00:48:58When souls are offered up to Satan, they go by means of a soul shroud to hell.
00:49:04Sort of like gift wrapping.
00:49:07Gift wrapping?
00:49:09Happy fucking birthday.
00:49:11How'd you know that?
00:49:13It says so right there on the corner.
00:49:23Who's that?
00:49:35Come on, girls. Open up. It's me, Bert.
00:49:44What do you want?
00:49:46What do I want?
00:49:47I want what any man wants.
00:49:50I want to be called up in the middle of the night and gotten out of bed.
00:49:53I want to go for a ride in my car in the middle of a thunderstorm.
00:49:57Find out if there's any trouble down here.
00:49:59What the hell do you think I want?
00:50:02What do you mean?
00:50:03I mean, Hinchlove called me.
00:50:05He said someone was screaming down here loud enough to rape the dead.
00:50:07He thought there might be some trouble.
00:50:10He also said he thought he saw a guy coming here a little while ago.
00:50:13You know anything about that?
00:50:16No.
00:50:19Let me in. I want to see if everything's okay.
00:50:22We can't. We're not dressed.
00:50:24Toss something on. I haven't got all night.
00:50:35We've got to hide this body.
00:50:37You mean touch that guy?
00:50:38Look, he's already dead. We can't help that.
00:50:40But if Bert finds out he was here, we're going to get fired.
00:50:43But is it worth a mere hundred bucks to become implicated in a murder?
00:50:49Yes.
00:50:50Let's do it. Come on.
00:50:55Where do we put him? He weighs a ton.
00:50:56The kitchen. It'll be easier to clean up later.
00:50:59How do you think this happened?
00:51:01Who knows? Looks like Roxanne gave him a terminal hickey.
00:51:24Where is Roxanne?
00:51:27I never saw her. I think she ran away after killing Biff.
00:51:39Hey, chickies, come on. I'm catching my death out here.
00:51:43You'll have to come around back.
00:51:46This door's locked.
00:51:48Oh, it's you.
00:51:49What the hell's going on? Everybody's acting so screwy.
00:51:51Well, if you'll come with me, I can explain everything.
00:51:56This better be good.
00:51:58Oh.
00:52:00It will be.
00:52:08Okay, everybody. Cool and calm.
00:52:10Yeah, right. Cool and calm.
00:52:11Okay.
00:52:13Calm.
00:52:14Okay.
00:52:15Okay, ready?
00:52:15Okay.
00:52:16Let's do it.
00:52:17Okay, go.
00:52:18Okay.
00:52:26Where is he?
00:52:28Maybe split. He looked kind of loaded.
00:52:30I guess he got tired of waiting.
00:52:32Lucky for us, but we still have to deal with the Biff situation.
00:52:35Don't worry. I'll think of something.
00:52:50Now, here is where it all started.
00:52:54Still are you.
00:52:55Now, stay close.
00:52:57It's dark in here.
00:53:11Ah, some dump.
00:53:13We just started cleaning this afternoon.
00:53:16Well, it ain't terrible, but it's got a ways to go yet.
00:53:22Here is where we found the sacred shroud and dagger.
00:53:27This is where all the trouble began.
00:53:38Trouble?
00:53:39What trouble?
00:53:41What trouble?
00:53:46You looking for trouble?
00:53:53I'm trouble.
00:53:55Oh, boy.
00:53:58Oh, boy.
00:54:07Oh, boy.
00:54:13Oh, boy.
00:54:14Oh, boy.
00:54:16Oh, boy.
00:54:17Oh, boy.
00:54:19Oh, boy.
00:54:21Oh, boy.
00:54:22Oh, my God.
00:54:25Oh, my God.
00:54:26Oh, my God.
00:54:32Look at this.
00:54:34What is it?
00:54:35Roxanne's 90, or what's left of it.
00:54:38Do you think Biff attacked her?
00:54:41She had to grease them in self-defense.
00:54:44Sure looks like it.
00:54:47Oh, check this out.
00:54:49What?
00:54:50Remember the drawing of the beast?
00:54:51It's gone.
00:54:53Maybe somebody ripped it out.
00:54:54I don't think so.
00:54:55Everything else is the same, but the drawing has vanished.
00:54:58Hey, look, guys.
00:54:59I think we have more important things to do
00:55:01than to worry about some old witch's coloring book.
00:55:04Look, it says something about the beast on this page.
00:55:08And there's the drawing of the dagger
00:55:10that we found in the cellar earlier.
00:55:11Well, can you read it?
00:55:13I'll try.
00:55:15It says that in reading the incantation aloud...
00:55:19The one you read out loud earlier?
00:55:21Right.
00:55:22That in reading the spell,
00:55:23the spirit of the beast will be released
00:55:25into the world of the living
00:55:27to corrupt, kill, and collect souls.
00:55:30It even mentions the soul shroud.
00:55:33What about this?
00:55:35It says that it'll kill the beast if...
00:55:39I can't understand the rest.
00:55:41Well, I'm not ready to believe
00:55:42that the drawing in that book is alive
00:55:43and running around the house somewhere.
00:55:45Look, everybody.
00:55:46Somebody called Biff,
00:55:47and it wasn't one of us.
00:55:49If it'll make you feel any better,
00:55:51well, fine, Rox,
00:55:51I'm sure she can explain everything.
00:55:53Okay, gals, let's go.
00:55:54Come on.
00:56:12Why are we starting in the basement?
00:56:14I hate the basement.
00:56:15I think it's better if we start at the bottom
00:56:17and work our way up.
00:56:18I wouldn't want this to be the last place we ended up in.
00:56:21Hey, look, the light's on.
00:56:22Maybe somebody's down there.
00:56:24Oh, great.
00:56:25Come on.
00:56:37Nobody's here.
00:56:38Let's go.
00:56:39Not so fast.
00:56:40It's obvious someone's been here.
00:56:43Recently.
00:56:43Well, it's obvious they're not here now.
00:56:54Boy, are my feet killing me.
00:57:04What the hell's with you two?
00:57:06No.
00:57:08Oh!
00:57:08Oh!
00:57:10Oh!
00:57:12Oh!
00:57:20Oh!
00:57:24Oh!
00:57:52What are we going to do? We don't have a car and we don't have a phone.
00:57:55We don't got shit.
00:57:57Okay, everybody calm down. Now, we know that Roxanne is dead.
00:58:00That means there's somebody else around, maybe even in this house.
00:58:04The beast in the book. Will you stop with the freaking beast? This is reality.
00:58:08Now, let's get to the kitchen and get a big knife.
00:58:10Then what?
00:58:11Then we get our asses over to Mr. Hinchelos, use his telephone and call the cops.
00:58:15There goes our paychecks.
00:58:16Hey, Bert's dead, so who is going to pay us anyway?
00:58:19You're right.
00:58:20Well, at least we don't have to clean up the place.
00:58:22Come on.
00:58:30Biff's gone.
00:58:31That means the killer's probably still here.
00:58:34Well, I guess those owners didn't exactly leave everything behind.
00:58:36So now what?
00:58:38Oh, there's a dagger out on the coffee table.
00:58:41Right. Let's get it.
00:58:45Ah!
00:58:46Jeez! Don't do that!
00:58:49I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:58:50I just saw your boss pull up in front and I thought I'd check on you myself.
00:58:54Everything all right?
00:58:55No, everything's not okay. Someone's killed three of our friends.
00:58:57I was afraid of that.
00:58:59There's something very odd about this place.
00:59:01We're figuring that out.
00:59:03Can we use your phone?
00:59:05Certainly. I live down the block.
00:59:06Follow me.
00:59:16It's very strange weather we're having.
00:59:18They say it might rain.
00:59:20You sure you want to go out in that weather dressed like this?
00:59:24Buddy, we'd go out naked if we had to.
00:59:26Let's go.
00:59:26Let's get the dagger for protection.
00:59:28Yeah, let's go.
00:59:31You don't need that.
00:59:32You're perfectly safe with me.
00:59:35Just a little insurance, Mr. Hinchelow.
00:59:39You ever seen this before?
00:59:43Well, it's a wild guess.
00:59:46But I'd say that this is an ancient Canterian warlock's demon spell book from late 17th century England.
00:59:57Brought here by Gideon Fisk in the early 1930s.
01:00:02And the source of all the problems in this house.
01:00:12Sounds like you know it pretty well, Mr. Hinchelow.
01:00:14You might say I've gotten something out of it.
01:00:17Roxanne!
01:00:18You're alive.
01:00:19Where's Hinchelow?
01:00:20He was just there.
01:00:21Mr. Hinchelow's gone.
01:00:23That still doesn't explain how you happen to be alive.
01:00:26We thought you were dead.
01:00:27Yeah, was it some kind of joke or something?
01:00:30I'm sorry.
01:00:31I couldn't resist playing a trick on you.
01:00:34I mean, this place is so spooky.
01:00:38You mean Biff and Bird are in on this too?
01:00:40Ooh, I could just kill you guys.
01:00:42Please, not yet.
01:00:44What's with the book?
01:00:46Meg thought some drawing came to life and was trying to kill all of us.
01:00:50That's pretty far out.
01:00:52Can I see?
01:00:55Remember that horrible drawing?
01:00:57The one of that ugly, disgusting, repulsive, inhuman slime beast?
01:01:01Yes, I remember.
01:01:04Well, the drawing is gone.
01:01:06Meg, I think your eyes must be playing tricks on you.
01:01:11I don't think so.
01:01:13Such an imagination.
01:01:15So where's Biff and that Bert jerk?
01:01:18In the cellar.
01:01:19Probably laughing their heads off right now.
01:01:24Come on, girls.
01:01:25Let's go kick some butt.
01:01:27Let's do it.
01:01:28Let's do it.
01:01:29Let's do it.
01:01:32Let's do it.
01:01:33Let's do it.
01:01:34Let's do it.
01:01:47All right, macho man.
01:01:49The game's over.
01:01:50Get up on your feet.
01:01:52You slime balls are really in for it now.
01:01:54Come on.
01:01:59That was really cruel, you guys.
01:02:01Not funny at all.
01:02:06Playing possum, huh?
01:02:08Let's see if I can kick a field goal this time.
01:02:19Roxanne, I don't think this guy's kidding us.
01:02:23He's not.
01:02:25Oh, shit.
01:02:28Meg was right.
01:02:30The book is one picture short.
01:02:35And it's me.
01:02:38You let me out.
01:02:41I suppose I should thank you for that.
01:02:44But I haven't got the time right now.
01:02:49Where's Roxanne?
01:02:51Why, dead, of course.
01:02:53After my release,
01:02:54I needed only a taste of human blood
01:02:58to become real again.
01:03:00But I can only truly be free
01:03:03if I send the master some fresh souls
01:03:07for his collection.
01:03:09Us?
01:03:10Yes.
01:03:12He'll like you.
01:03:13Nice tits.
01:03:15Of course, getting there is the unpleasant part.
01:03:19I think the book said that the beast could be destroyed
01:03:22by plunging that old dagger into its heart.
01:03:25Great.
01:03:26I left it upstairs.
01:03:28I think Terry and Jan should go first.
01:03:32You and I can play for a little while
01:03:34if you want to, Meg.
01:03:36Know any good games?
01:03:38I think we should make a break for it.
01:03:41Ooh, when?
01:03:43Now?
01:03:44Now?
01:03:44Now?
01:04:00Let's get going.
01:04:02Cut!
01:04:03Yeah, guys.
01:04:11Oh, come on.
01:04:25Oh, my God.
01:04:44Sir?
01:04:53Meg, get the knife.
01:04:58It's gone.
01:04:59The knife is gone.
01:05:02She's upstairs.
01:05:04What are we going to do?
01:05:06Why don't you check out the book?
01:05:08There must be some other way to kill her.
01:05:14Well? I'm so scared. My brain won't work. Shit.
01:05:22Maybe this will do the trick. The book only mentions the dagger.
01:05:26Well fuck the dagger! This is all we've got! Come on! Come on!
01:05:33Where are we going?
01:05:36Great to hell if you don't watch it. We've got to get her. If we wait for her, we're going
01:05:40to be sitting ducks.
01:05:41But we can make a run for her. We don't have to fight it.
01:05:43Look kid, if we don't get it right now, it might be loose forever. And then what?
01:05:47I mean, we've got some kind of supernatural monster running around.
01:05:50It's not going to just leave us alone because we ran away from it.
01:05:54But no buts! Now we've got to do this while we have a chance.
01:05:58Okay? This thing has killed our friends. Now we've got to do something.
01:06:01We can go to Hinchel's and call the cops. Let them handle it.
01:06:04How do we really know that Hinchelow is Hinchelow?
01:06:06Now come on! Let's kick some monster butt!
01:06:45Ha! Don't do that! Sorry!
01:07:04I don't see her!
01:07:09I don't see her!
01:07:28Run, man! Run!
01:07:35Run, man! Run!!
01:07:44It's just you and me now, Meg.
01:08:16I'm coming for you, Meg.
01:08:22We have some unfinished business to take care of.
01:08:26I hope you're not too tired.
01:08:48I hope you're not too tired.
01:09:11Tangy, but not too tired.
01:09:28This is a very old piece of material.
01:09:32All I have to do is place this over your body when you're dead and your soul will fly to
01:09:41hell.
01:09:42Like that.
01:09:49But you have to be careful how you use it.
01:09:53It can be very indiscriminate.
01:09:56Why are you doing this?
01:09:57You're free.
01:09:58What more do you want?
01:10:00Can't you guess?
01:10:04No, I want all the others set free, too.
01:10:08All the pictures in the book.
01:10:10They want to live again, too, just like me.
01:10:14I want you to read that incantation out loud again and again until they've all been released.
01:10:21And then, I want to eat your soul.
01:10:40So, it's you.
01:10:44Yes.
01:10:49Get lost on your way to hell?
01:10:52I've come to destroy you.
01:10:56And you think that will save your soul from the eternal damnation you brought upon yourself?
01:11:03It's a good place to start.
01:11:06You'll never be free.
01:11:08As long as there's a dark side, we'll always be here.
01:11:13Waiting.
01:11:14Ready.
01:11:16You can't kill us.
01:11:18We're too strong for you.
01:11:20For anyone.
01:11:22I can try.
01:11:24After all, you're nothing but a doodle.
01:11:27How dare you!
01:11:29I may have failed in the past, but this time I'm going to erase you once and for all.
01:11:34And how do you plan to accomplish that, Gideon Fiske, with this?
01:11:41Yes.
01:11:47Ar annual wreckage sauce.
01:11:54Now, I'm положined by finishing your heart.
01:12:09I can't kill you.
01:12:11But I'm not going to skip three weeks.
01:12:11Yeah!
01:12:58Wow!
01:13:02Man, that really hurts.
01:13:06I better get back in that book.
01:13:09The book. It's trying to get back into the book.
01:13:12If that happens, it can never be destroyed.
01:13:16The fireplace. We can burn it.
01:13:21Oh, man.
01:13:24I could just make it another step or two.
01:13:28Oh, boy, this really cracks me up.
01:13:35Hey, where are you going, baby?
01:13:38Don't be so hasty. Not the fire, no. Anything but the fire.
01:13:42Throw it in the fire.
01:13:44Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't say that.
01:13:45Now!
01:13:48Oh, my God!
01:13:50Oh, man! Why'd you have to do that?
01:13:54Wow!
01:13:56Wow!
01:14:00You little bitch!
01:14:01I'll get you in the sequel for this.
01:14:11I'm in your room.
01:14:12I'm in your room.
01:14:13I'm in my room.
01:14:17I'm in your room!
01:14:30I'm in your room!
01:14:54I suppose you're wondering what this is all about.
01:14:59I know I must seem a little late to you,
01:15:01but I had to wait for the right time to act.
01:15:04What happened?
01:15:07I'm the one who brought the book to America years ago.
01:15:11I thought it held knowledge how wrong I was.
01:15:15I released a terror that has cursed me for an eternity until now.
01:15:21I don't understand. Who are you?
01:15:25I am the cause of all the misery.
01:15:28For years after my death, I waited in limbo,
01:15:31hoping to find someone who could transform the book into a living thing
01:15:35so I could destroy it.
01:15:37Now you've done that for me.
01:15:40And it's over.
01:15:41So now what happens?
01:15:44The curse which hangs over me because of my evil mischief is lifted.
01:15:51And the demon is vanquished to hell.
01:15:55Your world is safe now.
01:15:58Yes.
01:16:01But all my friends are dead because of your mischief.
01:16:06Oh, I don't think so.
01:16:08I think you'll find them very much alive.
01:16:11You see, the beast never truly existed.
01:16:14And now, neither do I.
01:16:21Goodbye, Eleven One.
01:16:23Good luck.
01:16:24Good luck.
01:16:34I'm 가� Jonak.
01:16:37You will catch
01:16:54Hey Meg, what are you doing up so early?
01:16:58Oh God, it's you. It's really you.
01:17:01Well of course it's me.
01:17:06Hey, where are the others?
01:17:08In the cellar, I think. Did you guys have a party
01:17:14last night after I crashed out or what? Yeah, sort of.
01:17:18But I think it's over now.
01:17:22Morning, kids.
01:17:27Thought I'd stop by to see how your night was.
01:17:31It was rough, Mr. Henschlow. I think I sprained my knee or something.
01:17:35They were partying all night.
01:17:38Oh, is that so?
01:17:41I think I have an ace bandage down at my place if you'd like to use it.
01:17:45But first, how about some hot coffee?
01:17:48I brought it on my thermos.
01:17:50I think I could use it.
01:17:54My God, what angle.
01:17:56You're telling me.
01:17:59What happened?
01:18:00I don't know, but you guys have some explaining to do.
01:18:02I don't even remember who I did it with.
01:18:06At least you're alive.
01:18:09I brought along my portable TV set in case you'd like to use it.
01:18:12That's nice, but why?
01:18:15Hell, it's Saturday morning.
01:18:18Don't tell me you kids don't enjoy a good cartoon.
01:18:24Let's go!
01:18:25Once more everyone can play thearray box.
01:18:30Just wake up up theלא.
01:18:31You're какая-!
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