- 8 hours ago
- #db
SEX EDUCATION BY MY BEST FRIEND #DB - FULL MOVIE
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring, you like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32When are you going to tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valleyqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Oh, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:57Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:03Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of castle claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:16But on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my gosh, it's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot!
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:15Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:22What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:34Yeah, I break a lot of hearts, buttercup.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:44Eh...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:52Alright.
00:02:53I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:42I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Who's fighting the new girl?
00:03:56Who's leaving the new girl?
00:03:57Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:30Hi.
00:04:31I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:46Let's go.
00:04:50There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:02Oh my gosh.
00:05:14Aw, you're welcome new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you catfishing?
00:05:27Some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Give it back.
00:05:31Hold on.
00:05:33Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:39Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online lover?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:56No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, Belle Queen goes to the school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmonds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmonds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:23Woo!
00:06:23Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:40Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:44Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chance it's Jen.
00:06:55So is it...
00:06:56She does look kinda cute.
00:07:04It's you.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:16Hey there buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking Haley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning or...
00:07:24My name's Haley.
00:07:26Wow.
00:07:27Haley.
00:07:27I think you uh...
00:07:29You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:33What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:36Oh no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:43You're just a man child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her must have filled an eye exam.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today.
00:08:07I lost the game.
00:08:08I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:13And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:17I want to be with you.
00:08:19And you want to be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soul mate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:30Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:46No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Ugh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:05Confidence.
00:09:06You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:13Okay.
00:09:14Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:16Ah!
00:09:20Oh my God, seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:24Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:30Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think that you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:35Get out!
00:09:36Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:39Ow!
00:09:39Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:09:47Come on!
00:09:47Wait!
00:09:48Just, let's go.
00:09:48It…
00:10:06It's too late.
00:10:08You can't...
00:10:08Fuck, fuck.
00:10:08I'm still there.
00:10:08I'm too late, I'm so lonely.
00:10:09Yeah!
00:10:09OK!
00:10:11I'm still there!
00:10:11I'm still there!
00:10:11You're too late!
00:10:17you're helping me i won't i didn't plan it but here we are
00:10:28excuse you these boobs are for someone else our little boyfriend do we that is shocking yeah
00:10:34actually and he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him flirting with me flirting yeah don't
00:10:39lie to yourself i've got a girlfriend too my thoughts and prayers to her funny okay well
00:10:44can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways fine by me
00:10:51oh and um well the purple bra by the way i like it in a weird way i mean i
00:10:58am my type but
00:10:59you know power theory or whatever did you just get out of here
00:11:11hopefully guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:15jen red alert calm and the new girl are for sure flirting i think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:23don't be a coward just send it jen
00:11:30oh my god here goes nothing
00:11:40still no response don't freak out he's probably just busy
00:11:48give it back why you don't want me to see your slutty little nude
00:11:53oh this is actually a really good photo honestly it's so good that i think the whole school should
00:11:57see it did you get it lindsey got it
00:12:02what are you doing
00:12:04what are you doing
00:12:17oh my god
00:12:20oh my god
00:12:32yo what's going on dude your enemies new just got put up on the big screen
00:12:36what's yeah
00:12:51come on
00:12:52let's see if these builds are photoshopped
00:12:57stop delete it please
00:13:09oh my brave knight i wish you were here with me right now
00:13:18oh my god
00:13:20oh cool
00:13:21your enemy's kind of hot
00:13:23since you're so into slutty photos
00:13:26why don't we just go ahead and go full nude
00:13:30jen no no no no no no
00:13:32F Build Pasta
00:13:50Get off me
00:13:51My school enemy is my online girlfriend?
00:13:54Get off me
00:13:57Stop it!
00:13:59Oh my god!
00:14:09You okay?
00:14:12Give that to me.
00:14:20Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:32Not good, huh?
00:14:33Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:41She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46He's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:55Here we are.
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:02Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:19Love you, Mom.
00:15:21Wait, Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:29Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56What's up there, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family
00:16:08and keep my scholarship.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11I'm really proud of you.
00:16:13And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me,
00:16:17but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:19It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:42When?
00:16:43When?
00:16:44About after school, at the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring followers.
00:16:47Deal?
00:16:47No.
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:23Haley girl.
00:17:24He was not a nobody dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:36I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:46Stay away from Haley, Cole.
00:17:48Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:55Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:02You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:13Oh, hi.
00:18:15I'm Haley.
00:18:16Yes.
00:18:18Mm-hmm.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:21I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:37Bail.
00:18:41Guacamole wizard.
00:18:42Ew.
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:47Pathetic.
00:18:48Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:51And maybe he's sitting on his back video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:05And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:08Eat it.
00:19:22I called me.
00:19:23So you think that you can just humiliate me?
00:19:26In front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter.
00:19:29So you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:34Oh and by the way, Nicole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:39Like me.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:49Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:58Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:03You left.
00:20:06I think you're gonna record this.
00:20:15Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hayley anymore?
00:20:18I don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:19So tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:22You wanna hold that thing next to your face
00:20:24And do what I say.
00:20:27If I would leave Hayley alone.
00:20:32I will leave Hailey alone
00:20:37Got it?
00:20:38Yeah
00:20:38Let's go
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:45Got it?
00:20:46Let's go
00:20:54Uh, thank you
00:20:57Wow
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just
00:21:07I happen to see you
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah
00:21:12My boyfriend actually
00:21:15Well, he
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:22Maybe you got into a nice thing
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:28You thought we were enemies
00:21:30I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though
00:21:33So
00:21:33Am I that annoying?
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers
00:21:37Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Ednaz?
00:21:40Because it's not going to work
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses
00:21:49How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:55He
00:21:55He makes me feel safe
00:21:58You wouldn't understand it, though
00:22:04You understand better than you think
00:22:07Cole understands me better than I think
00:22:11Is he
00:22:14Now you touch him like this?
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see
00:22:29No, no, my
00:22:30My boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:35In the game
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you a little slow on the game, too?
00:22:55I can see why he likes you
00:23:06I can't do this
00:23:09I love my boyfriend
00:23:10And you will never understand that
00:23:12He's smart and he's kind
00:23:15And he loves me for who I am
00:23:18That is so much more important to me
00:23:20Than whatever this is between us
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be
00:23:36Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:41There's nothing
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car
00:23:51Got done getting waxed
00:23:53Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life
00:24:02What was I thinking?
00:24:04We are from two different worlds
00:24:06He just wants to play with me
00:24:07But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident
00:24:18Really?
00:24:19Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:23He was right
00:24:24Who?
00:24:25Nobody
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:27I want to come visit you
00:24:28No, no, you can't
00:24:29I look miserable now
00:24:31You need to see me in style
00:24:33Fine, if you say so
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Hell yeah, we are
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case
00:25:03Oh, you
00:25:05Oh, me
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:14I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:25It's okay
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more
00:25:28I'm not that curious about you, actually
00:25:30I'm curious about you, though
00:25:32Like, uh, how close are you with your mom?
00:25:35What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business
00:25:38But I'm very close with my mom
00:25:40I'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:45Does Colt genuinely want to know me?
00:25:56So
00:25:57Are you going to prom?
00:25:58Eh, I'm going to go well
00:25:59I don't know
00:26:01So you have a date
00:26:03Or shall I say victim?
00:26:05Are you jealous of me?
00:26:07Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want me
00:26:12You are so full of yourself
00:26:14You can do this on your own
00:26:16Yeah
00:26:19No way
00:26:20It's a self-locking door
00:26:22Really?
00:26:23Miss Corma's going to be back in an hour
00:26:25I'm sure it'll be fine
00:26:25I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:28Okay, sorry
00:26:29Am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up
00:26:32Where we left off
00:26:33Don't worry
00:26:34Maybe trust me to do
00:26:36Mm-mm
00:26:36We're keeping our distance this time, actually
00:26:38Yeah
00:26:49That was my first kiss
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:55It was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:57And not just bumping lips
00:27:10You're really good at this
00:27:11One day when you regret it
00:27:14You know
00:27:16We can do more if we want
00:27:31Hey, I've been wanting to beg a lot more than you beg
00:27:35So you want me?
00:27:39I think you know which I want you
00:27:45Do you want me?
00:27:47I want you
00:27:53Oh, shit
00:27:57Anyone in here?
00:28:00Oh, my God
00:28:01How long have you two been in here?
00:28:03I really need to change this lock
00:28:05Are you two okay?
00:28:06Um
00:28:07Yeah
00:28:08Yeah, we're good
00:28:09We're okay
00:28:10Great
00:28:10Good job
00:28:11Okay, nice
00:28:13Thanks
00:28:17Are you just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:21Hey, wait
00:28:21It's just hormones
00:28:24Jake
00:28:25Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax, I'm not dead
00:28:29Wait, car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:37I gotta go
00:28:46Guacamole wizard
00:28:47Huh?
00:28:50Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:52Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers
00:29:06She was in a real car accident
00:29:08According to you, so is guacamole wizard
00:29:10I'm not gonna make this anymore
00:29:12Cole, wait
00:29:15Oh, shit
00:29:20What's up, guys?
00:29:21Um, we were just chatting
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:27Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:30Hey
00:29:31I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks
00:29:34They're your favorite, right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:29:43They're my favorite
00:29:44He couldn't be Cole
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:54A dickhead?
00:29:57What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:58You came to my table, bro
00:30:00And knocked my ball away
00:30:08There it goes again
00:30:09Cole is jealous
00:30:10We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:12We don't have a problem
00:30:14We don't have a problem
00:30:16Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball
00:30:18And we don't have a problem
00:30:20Jake, it would take me forever
00:30:21To find one of your balls
00:30:24I have the ball now
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:39What if I told you
00:30:40That I have an internship opportunity
00:30:41For you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:44Yeah, just one little catch
00:30:45You have to pretend to like Haley Roth
00:30:50All right, you have the rest of the period
00:30:52To work on your lab reports
00:30:53If you have any questions
00:30:55I'll be at my desk
00:30:57I thought Guacamole Wizard
00:30:58Would feel more like Cole
00:31:00But if he's really Jake
00:31:02Then maybe this was always going to end
00:31:05You've literally been to her for five minutes
00:31:06I'm thinking
00:31:07About the report or about him?
00:31:09Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:11We literally made out of a sword room
00:31:14Maybe I've known Jake longer
00:31:16No, you don't
00:31:17How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else
00:31:19Stop acting like you're serious about me
00:31:21You have no idea
00:31:28Oh my God
00:31:29Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:44Haley, someone's here to see you
00:31:57Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:00Too cheesy?
00:32:01No, it's cute
00:32:04The accident
00:32:05The mozzarella sticks
00:32:06He is Guacamole Wizard
00:32:08So, um
00:32:10What do you think?
00:32:11You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:13I...
00:32:14I should feel happy
00:32:15But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:23Hey, can we not?
00:32:26Dude, seriously
00:32:27What is your problem?
00:32:28My problem here, dude
00:32:29Is that me and my lab partner
00:32:30Have work to do
00:32:31And you're out here
00:32:31To strike me with bad puns
00:32:33Wow
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man
00:32:37Oh
00:32:38That's weak shit?
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:43Oh my God
00:32:51Wow
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59Wait, I can't
00:33:00Colt, put me down
00:33:01Put me down
00:33:02Put me down
00:33:05Don't do that again
00:33:18New couple alert
00:33:21Fuck off, Jen
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Cole?
00:33:24You and I
00:33:24We're not that different
00:33:25And if you'd realize
00:33:27And give me a chance
00:33:28I think that we would
00:33:29Make a great match
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me
00:33:32To prom
00:33:33I might say yes
00:33:36Jen
00:33:37You want to go to prom
00:33:39With me?
00:33:40Jen, you want to go to prom
00:33:42With me?
00:33:43We're both hot
00:33:44And we're both rich
00:33:45And our dads have been in business
00:33:47Like, forever
00:33:48So
00:33:49How romantic
00:33:50I think I'll pass
00:33:53You're gonna regret this, Cole Edmonds
00:33:57Here they come
00:34:01If I message Corcamole Wizard
00:34:02I wonder if Jake's phone will ding
00:34:06What should we wear to prom?
00:34:09And the dance list
00:34:18Um, I'll talk to you later
00:34:19I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:21Okay, yeah
00:34:21I'll see you later
00:34:22Bye
00:34:23He's so different
00:34:24Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:27Yeah, same
00:34:30Haley
00:34:38Haley?
00:34:39Jeez
00:34:40God
00:34:46Here, I'll get it
00:34:47Yeah, I know
00:34:52Oh, you're scared of me
00:34:54Seeing all the girls
00:34:54In your phone
00:34:55I don't care
00:34:56I do care
00:34:59Hell yeah
00:35:00I don't put a problem with Jake
00:35:18I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me
00:35:21He doesn't even know you
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:23How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:25That's something I've only ever talked about
00:35:27Because I pay attention to what you like
00:35:31I noticed it at lunch
00:35:33The first day
00:35:35You were watching me?
00:35:37Just
00:35:37Just don't go about it, Jake
00:35:54Milf
00:35:56Colt is talking to Haley
00:35:57Again
00:35:57Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:03Obviously, I do
00:36:04Okay, then break them up, idiot
00:36:08What do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas
00:36:16Hey, look
00:36:19Someone will take you to prom
00:36:20Alright, I promise
00:36:21Yeah?
00:36:22Really, like who?
00:36:23I mean, the whole school hates me
00:36:25Except for Jake
00:36:27And you
00:36:28But you're not asking me
00:36:31Hey
00:36:32Oh, hey, Jake
00:36:33Hey, Hal
00:36:35I just wanted to thank you again for the other night
00:36:40The other night?
00:36:41Yeah, it was
00:36:43So
00:36:45Sexy
00:36:46You're so sexy
00:36:47Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:51I hate to break it to you, asshole
00:36:54But she's my prom date
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the pep room
00:37:03Oh, shit
00:37:05Oh, shit
00:37:06Oh, shit
00:37:22Stop, guys, stop it
00:37:24Stop, stop
00:37:26What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:30Shit, it's Principal Stevens.
00:37:32I've got to save Cole.
00:37:34I mean, Jake.
00:37:35I've got to save Jake.
00:37:41Oh my god!
00:37:42Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry!
00:37:45Hailey Rock, that's detention.
00:37:48After school, don't be late.
00:38:06Call me, what are you doing here?
00:38:08I'm going to keep you company.
00:38:11It's the least I could do after you saved my rest today.
00:38:15The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:17Oh, sure.
00:38:20So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No.
00:38:26He lied about that.
00:38:28I don't know why though.
00:38:29Good.
00:38:30You know, father that asshole, every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:36Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:40I could kill him.
00:38:43Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:48Okay, fine.
00:38:49I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:08Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:20Yeah.
00:39:22Oops!
00:39:28Sorry!
00:39:30I tripped.
00:39:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:32Jack!
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:39They're dead.
00:39:41They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to Guacamole Wizard?
00:39:48Oh.
00:39:49What are you...
00:39:50Are you almost crying?
00:39:52It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:56Jen!
00:39:57What's going on over there?
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12Mrs. Gorman, it's burning!
00:40:13Mr. Edmonds!
00:40:15Oh, please.
00:40:15It's baking soda and water.
00:40:16You're fine.
00:40:17Detention.
00:40:18Today, after school.
00:40:20Shit.
00:40:32Jake, hey.
00:40:34Oh, uh, sorry.
00:40:36Gotta get to student council.
00:40:39Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:42The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:48You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:40:51Come on.
00:40:56Uh...
00:40:56Uh...
00:40:57Uh...
00:40:57Uh...
00:40:58Uh...
00:40:58Uh...
00:40:58Uh...
00:40:58Uh...
00:41:16Uh...
00:41:20Eh, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:22We'll pour out in a few more minutes, and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop. It means, it means I can't.
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online. He's really important to me.
00:41:42And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:55You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and rich kid for Bronco.
00:42:03Okay, okay, I get it.
00:42:07You're kind of sweet.
00:42:13Hey, look at that.
00:42:16Oh, my God. Thank you.
00:42:19Oh, my God. You're a miracle worker.
00:42:27Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:29You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:32Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:34Whatever.
00:42:41Oh, my God.
00:42:49Oh, morning, valley whore.
00:42:51How are things in the castle?
00:42:53Oh, my God.
00:42:55I can't believe it.
00:42:58Valley whore?
00:42:59What are they talking about?
00:43:15Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:19Guacamole wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:23Oh, my God.
00:43:24God, someone hacked my castle claimers messages.
00:43:26Touch me, guacamole wizard.
00:43:29Yeah.
00:43:30Hey, valley whore.
00:43:31Show him what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go.
00:43:52Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:00You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:05But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:08What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:12No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:14Hey, everyone.
00:44:15I think valley whore is a catfish.
00:44:18Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it, stop, stop.
00:44:51I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:57Jake!
00:44:58Hey.
00:45:00Now is the time.
00:45:02Tell them.
00:45:03Tell them what?
00:45:04That you're a guacamole wizard.
00:45:07Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:10Here you go.
00:45:13Oh, my God.
00:45:15Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:17Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:22Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:28Jake, is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:34Sorry.
00:45:35It was nothing personal?
00:45:42Yeah, nothing personal, huh?
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:49All right, all right, all right.
00:45:51Enough!
00:45:52What in the world is going on here?
00:45:55Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:56That's all him.
00:45:57Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:04Let me get this straight.
00:46:06You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:11It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:13Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:17Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:19You think that's what it could be?
00:46:21Who cares?
00:46:22I care.
00:46:23And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:26So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:28What?
00:46:29I don't know, over my dead body.
00:46:30Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:33I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:35No, no, please don't.
00:46:37Please.
00:46:37Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:40Max's dad called.
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:43You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:46End of discussion.
00:46:53Come on, you big coward.
00:46:54Message him.
00:46:56Just do it, just do it.
00:47:00You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:08I could never think that.
00:47:15But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:17Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:19I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:25I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:41Okay.
00:47:42You got this, Haley.
00:47:44Just take a deep breath.
00:47:45You got this.
00:47:46You got this.
00:47:50You look beautiful.
00:47:55Thank you, Mom.
00:48:00I can't resist.
00:48:02I can't resist.
00:48:03I can't resist.
00:48:05I can't resist.
00:48:14Hey, Haley.
00:48:15I'm glad you came.
00:48:16You look so pretty.
00:48:18Hi.
00:48:18Hey, Max.
00:48:19Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:21I mean...
00:48:22No, it's just my parents' blood money.
00:48:23You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:26They don't care about shit.
00:48:27Get drunk, girl.
00:48:28Woo!
00:48:31Yeah.
00:48:32Yeah.
00:48:42What are you doing here, Valley Whore?
00:48:46Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:49Hey, everyone.
00:48:50Let's give it up for Valley Whore.
00:48:51Valley Whore!
00:48:56Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:58What have I even done to you?
00:48:59To me...
00:49:00Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:02because those little cringy messages on your castle game,
00:49:06those are concerning.
00:49:07Actually, you're kind of a little bit of a perv.
00:49:09Did you know that?
00:49:10Hailey?
00:49:11She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:13Pervy princess!
00:49:16Pervy princess!
00:49:18Pervy princess!
00:49:19Pervy princess!
00:49:22Hey.
00:49:23Let's get pervets tonight.
00:49:24Leave me alone.
00:49:26Is there a fire?
00:49:28Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:30She's a little girl.
00:49:41Go to her.
00:49:41What's her?
00:49:43I'm about to bring her up.
00:49:43All right.
00:49:45That's it.
00:49:47Hauli?
00:49:47All right.
00:49:48It's not her.
00:49:51You're Sociest woman.
00:49:52All right.
00:49:52All right.
00:49:54Ah!
00:49:55It's not her.
00:49:57You're so stupid.
00:49:57All right.
00:49:57It's not her.
00:49:58It's not her.
00:49:59I'm so stupid.
00:50:00It's not her.
00:50:20are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay Cole is not
00:50:28him anyways we are going to the prom together no I'm not yes you are it's okay you can be
00:50:35honest
00:50:35about your feelings so you too this whole time oh my god I am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:52please at least take my jackets you know if you really wanted to humiliate me you didn't have to
00:50:57go to the extra effort Jen was doing just fine I wasn't trying to humiliate you then what were
00:51:01you trying to do I guess you obviously the white clothes were just an added bonus I knew I shouldn't
00:51:07trusted you and what about guacamole wizard what are you
00:51:21who is that just the devil get in the car
00:51:29I'm not gonna ask you again Cole get in the car dad can you just act normal for once and
00:51:35please
00:51:35introduce yourself to Haley I already assumed that's who this was hi Mr. Evans so you're the
00:51:43scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life well I've got news for you young lady my son
00:51:49is gonna marry a good girl from a respectable family and that's not you you will be forgotten
00:51:57you're a maid's daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him or I swear to God your
00:52:05mother
00:52:05is fire dad stop don't you touch my family I'll stay away come on you don't mean that
00:52:15I hate everything you stand for I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what
00:52:23you think a good person looks like I hate everything about you I hate all of it I don't want
00:52:29any part of it so Cole go with your dad Haley
00:52:44no laptop and no phone for a week ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:50Haley not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable I promised your mother I would
00:52:55make
00:52:55you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself hi Haley I'm Emma I know you are
00:53:10right
00:53:10I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped and ruin your life so I wanted to return your
00:53:17laptop
00:53:18to you goodness new oh wow thanks Emma okay bye one down one to go you're so cool I know
00:53:37Emma
00:53:37want to go to prom why not let's get these lovers together
00:53:48hi Mr. Edmund hi Max and Max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you Cole's grounded oh he is
00:53:57but it was his 18th birthday today what can I say Max actions have consequences birthday or no Cole
00:54:05is grounded well that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee we're
00:54:12supposed to review budgets today Cole my son Cole reviewing budgets he's never reviewed a budget a day
00:54:21in his life well Mr. Edmunds today could be that day and we just have to give him back this
00:54:25school
00:54:25sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work
00:54:39go away
00:54:43max what what are you guys doing here happy birthday Cole I brought you my laptop and logged into your
00:54:50castle claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow what what's going on dude it's your 18th
00:54:55birthday you can tell Haley who you are now you can be together just log into this stupid game and
00:55:01tell the girl who you love you really are no I'll tell her myself stick me in your car
00:55:14I'm a lizard
00:55:18mom I'm fine I just need some time alone
00:55:29open the door wait what he's here
00:55:41it's you
00:55:43I'm sure you've given me this to you a long time ago
00:55:47anyway I've wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning
00:55:50my dad threatened to follow your mom I had to wait a really long time to tell you who I
00:55:55was I got my
00:55:56inheritance and I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose
00:56:13I understand that this changes things if you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard but
00:56:23look I need you to know I love you
00:56:38you do
00:56:40yes you idiot I've loved you for months I mean this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though because
00:56:47I had to be loyal to him and
00:56:50but you're him
00:56:51you didn't expect her
00:56:54I mean
00:56:55I
00:56:56I always hoped it was you
00:56:59until you hoped
00:57:00yes
00:57:02I hoped it was you
00:57:03you were always there for me
00:57:07you're hot and
00:57:09you're really fucking hot
00:57:11you're gonna be
00:57:12oh
00:57:16there's things I said we could do
00:57:19we could do
00:57:21yeah
00:57:24I'll take my clothes off
00:57:26you're getting there don't worry
00:57:27hmm
00:57:30I'm so real you
00:57:35I'm so real you
00:57:50so what do you think 10 out of 10 yeah yeah one two again okay sex with sex with me
00:57:57specifically
00:57:58i've only ever had sex with you specifically all right all right that's fair i'll uh i'll take that
00:58:05as a one what is my life now am i being nice to cole edmunds oh god no i i
00:58:16fully expect you to
00:58:18continue to berate me endlessly and i'll just i'm just lost behind it there's always been lost behind
00:58:35i think you know if it's prom or not okay but the real question is do you got a date
00:58:44cole are you asking me a prom i would have asked you earlier but jay kind of gave me to
00:58:49the gym oh god
00:58:50please don't mention his name again i don't want to hear it yeah you don't have to ask me once
00:58:55but i don't even have a dress later
00:59:03i just slept with cole edmunds and i'm in love with cole edmunds who would have guessed
00:59:11i thought only the best for my princess where did you get that
00:59:17uh i might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to
00:59:24prom
00:59:24with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:28of course i'll go to prom with you
00:59:35mr edmunds i didn't expect you to be here cole are you here cole are you here
00:59:44mr you can't just park into my house like this
00:59:47i see you cole you are in big trouble
01:00:05hey uh you almost done in there
01:00:08you try changing into an evening gown and a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:13okay i'm ready
01:00:26what do you think
01:00:30my god hayley you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:37i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick you're not messing it up for at least
01:00:4120 minutes
01:00:4320 more minutes
01:00:44we're in
01:00:45thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:57and your 2026 prom queen is
01:01:02jen longfellow
01:01:04thank you oh my god thank you guys so much seriously this makes the world to me
01:01:12i mean like who else would win right
01:01:14oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:22oh my god that's hayley and cole
01:01:24it was fucked
01:01:27what did you get
01:01:31there uh most time that's up
01:01:35no
01:01:35who cares
01:01:38hell yeah
01:01:42ew literally what the fuck
01:01:45hell yeah
01:01:46language
01:01:46i am the queen okay she's just a little pervy princess
01:01:50come on everyone say it with me
01:01:52pervy princess pervy princess pervy princess
01:02:01wait wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:05make cole edmunds fall in love with you
01:02:09his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:12don't worry daddy if i can't have him no one can
01:02:18i'm gonna destroy hayley rott's life is this real
01:02:22jen's crazy
01:02:24who did this
01:02:26who did this
01:02:29what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone
01:02:34you little shit
01:02:36you know jen as the principal i'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama
01:02:44but quite frankly you are the worst and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy
01:02:53you can't do that
01:02:54i'm the principal so uh yes i can
01:03:06there was no answering shit you lied to me
01:03:22oh my princess finally has a crown
01:03:26now all i need is my handsome prince
01:03:28oh yeah no can do
01:03:31all i have to offer is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:34and a awesome sense of humor
01:03:37oh how can i refuse
01:03:45oh no that's my dad
01:03:49we are going home right now
01:03:51you disobeyed me for the last time boy
01:03:54yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:57you talk all the time
01:03:58about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:04:01yet you can't see i've already become that man
01:04:05and it's because of hayley
01:04:07and you can accept that
01:04:08i'll make my own path
01:04:09and best believe me i can
01:04:12i'll say this
01:04:14it's the most backbone i've ever seen in you cole
01:04:19joy prime
01:04:27i am so proud of you
01:04:30i can't have done with all you being by my side
01:04:33that was terrifying
01:04:35it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before
01:04:38well so
01:04:39i love you dad queen
01:04:41i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:43oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:45yeah you do
01:04:46yeah
01:04:47oh my god
01:04:49oh my god
01:04:52oh
01:04:53oh my god
01:05:01oh my god
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