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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:03Please save my child.
00:00:21Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:30Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:41Rejuvenate.
00:00:50Raze, she is the healer goddess.
00:00:53No, please.
00:00:55Don't call me that.
00:00:57I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:03Here you go, miss.
00:01:07Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:11in need?
00:01:24You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:29run!
00:01:33Aw, it's okay, little guy.
00:01:36I'll fix you right up.
00:01:42Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:46We're juvenile.
00:01:50We're juvenile.
00:01:51See?
00:01:52Good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb.
00:01:57Come on, Cleo.
00:01:58Let's go.
00:02:03Come on, Cleo.
00:02:25Commander Armstrong.
00:02:26His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:30He's so hot.
00:02:32He's so hot.
00:02:32Does he come with the money?
00:02:33Yes.
00:02:34He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:36Money.
00:02:36Fame.
00:02:37Power.
00:02:38It's all yours.
00:02:44Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:46Yes.
00:02:47Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:50Oh.
00:02:50I have another call coming in.
00:02:54Grandma!
00:02:54I'm dying!
00:02:56Save me, Trixie!
00:02:58Grandma?
00:03:00Grandma.
00:03:01When are you getting married?
00:03:03I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:05I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:07And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:13Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:20We're talking about my brother's life.
00:03:22I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:25No!
00:03:34Please go feed your dog, Miss.
00:03:35Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:37Oh, kind stranger.
00:03:39Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:41Grant me a wish?
00:03:43Mm-hmm.
00:03:43So you can barely feed yourself?
00:03:44The downfall of humanity.
00:03:46It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:49What the...
00:03:50Oh, jeez, this is giving me a migraine now.
00:03:53Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:56I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:03:59Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:04Can you do that?
00:04:05I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:09Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:11Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:16Hold still.
00:04:23What?
00:04:24My migraine's gone.
00:04:25Okay, then let's go.
00:04:27If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:30Come on.
00:04:30Come on.
00:04:31Oh!
00:04:45How is he?
00:04:46What is the diagnosis?
00:04:48Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:51I'm sorry.
00:04:51I don't know what this is.
00:04:53Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:55You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:56Don't worry, General.
00:04:57I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:03I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:23I have no clue what this is.
00:05:27Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:33That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:35Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:37I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:49He's not budging, there's no movement.
00:05:51Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:05:58Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:01They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:04If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:10Who?
00:06:13The goddess of healing.
00:06:17Wait a second.
00:06:18You're not talking about the legendary goddess you.
00:06:21That's correct.
00:06:22Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:27That's her motto.
00:06:29It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:31We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:34She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:37No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:39If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:44bankrupt.
00:06:46I will find her.
00:06:47James, come put out a voucher to the entire world.
00:06:51Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:56There's no need.
00:07:11I'll save your son.
00:07:14Who the hell is she?
00:07:15Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:17She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:19Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:20How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:25Exactly.
00:07:25God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:29She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:32Ew!
00:07:33She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:35I bet it has fleas.
00:07:37That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:41Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:48Don't touch him.
00:07:51They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:53But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:57So step aside.
00:07:58I'll take it from here.
00:08:00Could you hold this?
00:08:01Mm-hmm.
00:08:02Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:03You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:05I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:09I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:12I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:17Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:22A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:28Ew!
00:08:29Disgusting.
00:08:30Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:32Security!
00:08:33Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:36Let's go.
00:08:37If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:44Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no fail.
00:08:50Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:52You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:55All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:08:58But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:04Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:07You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:09And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:12But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:17Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:20No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:21My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:23I can't lose him.
00:09:26Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:32My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:36Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:37He'd make a great husband.
00:09:41Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:43As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:50Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:52I mean, look at her.
00:09:54Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:09:59Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:03Continue wasting your time.
00:10:04But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:17Okay.
00:10:19What?
00:10:20What's happening?
00:10:21What are we doing?
00:10:33What the hell are you doing?
00:10:36I knew she was a perv!
00:10:38She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:41Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:44Are you insane?
00:10:45Security, smash her face in for licking my son!
00:10:49He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:10:56Yeah, right!
00:10:58I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him!
00:11:01Oh, okay.
00:11:01I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:04I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:08And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:15This?
00:11:22Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:25What?
00:11:26What?
00:11:27So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:11:32Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:38I agree.
00:11:39I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
00:11:45years?
00:11:45We are all certified.
00:11:47But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:51She's right about everything.
00:11:55Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:00And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:03Endo-genic cryomorphie.
00:12:05Oh.
00:12:05And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:07Because I just discovered it.
00:12:10This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:14The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:16A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:18But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:23What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:25I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:29Precisely.
00:12:31You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:33You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:38I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:42Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:45And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:49which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:53Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:55Oh, yeah.
00:12:57If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:01I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:04Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:08What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:09It means you're being schooled by me.
00:13:11And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:15Then let's have a bet.
00:13:17If you can't heal him,
00:13:20we'll break your hands.
00:13:23And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:27Mm-hmm.
00:13:28Mm-hmm.
00:13:29These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:33You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:37Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:40There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:44Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:48It's a deal.
00:13:50I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:52No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:00Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:08Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:11Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:23I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:26I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:30I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:34Prepare a Jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:38Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:39Don't listen to her.
00:14:41She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:47Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:50Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:14:57What? Did you just call me?
00:15:01There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:06Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:10Now, stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:16Oh, yeah?
00:15:17You wanna see real pain? Where's the dog?
00:15:20Well, put down the dog!
00:15:21With pleasure.
00:15:32Oh!
00:15:38Left leaves the wrong breast.
00:15:44You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:50She's been poisoned!
00:15:52It was her!
00:15:54Do you see any poison on me?
00:15:56Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:02This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:06Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:08Of course.
00:16:09I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:12If I wanna save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:32Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:34This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:35I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
00:16:38Angel herbalist.
00:16:40This is what I call...
00:16:42Malpractice.
00:16:44This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:46But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:48Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:51Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:52Right this way.
00:16:53Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:16:54What the hell is going on?
00:16:56You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:00Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:02Every second counts.
00:17:05Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:17:10General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:15Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:19Hold on, you two are going in there alone?
00:17:23If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:30All right, but I warn you, no funny business.
00:18:06Let's go for it.
00:18:08Let's go for it.
00:18:10Let's go for it.
00:18:27So here's my son.
00:18:27I'm gonna let you go.
00:18:30It's time for that.
00:18:30The scene is what you think.
00:18:31Now we're going for a long time,
00:18:31How do you think?
00:18:31The scene is really fine.
00:18:33I will let you go.
00:18:33I'll let you go.
00:18:33You're going to help your son naked
00:18:35you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
00:18:39armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions
00:18:47that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughing
00:18:51stock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to
00:18:58that we have to have faith where did you actually find this little life on the streets are you
00:19:08shitting me you found this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know her you don't know her
00:19:14background she could be a psychotic murder that is it general you have to go in and stop this now
00:19:19you're right that's it i'm shutting down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir
00:19:27oh my
00:19:28i told you all to stay out
00:19:42this is a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we both die
00:19:51i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
00:19:57i'm gonna save him myself
00:20:03you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman
00:20:06this is a witchcraft
00:20:10i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her she uses her dark magic to
00:20:17steal the
00:20:17hearts of young handsome men and then she eats them alive oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before she
00:20:23takes my son james get the swat team yes sir
00:20:40help me i'm just one
00:20:49something's wrong
00:20:52you were drunk with an athrodisiac
00:20:55lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:21:00that's one more thing i'm saving you from
00:21:09sir the swat team is here captain morales
00:21:15my son is trapped behind there with a devious man-eating witch i need you to do whatever you
00:21:21can to tear down that door rest assured general armstrong we'll break down that door and bury that
00:21:27bitch alive
00:21:32right
00:21:33rewrite the world
00:21:35rewrite the world
00:21:38human
00:21:42who the fuck are you and why the hell are we naked
00:21:47good you're awake i'm saving you
00:21:50saving me by bathing with me
00:21:53who are you your fucking spy
00:21:56talk
00:21:57i swear to god i'll have you arrested for this
00:22:01you're the one who's trying to kiss me and your stripper
00:22:06i will never
00:22:06i will never
00:22:20i will never
00:22:21look who's guilty now
00:22:25look i don't know what the fuck this is all right but it is a biological fact a man is
00:22:30attracted to a naked woman and her breasts
00:22:34it's science okay it just means that my body
00:22:37oh shut up
00:22:37it's physically
00:22:40you're distracted me with your friend
00:22:43and i'm a professional
00:22:45i hear lysander's voice
00:22:46captain do something now
00:22:48ready
00:22:54we're almost there
00:22:55we're almost there
00:22:58get em boys
00:23:00get em
00:23:01fire
00:23:05fire
00:23:06fire
00:23:07fire
00:23:08fire
00:23:09fire
00:23:09fire
00:23:11fire
00:23:11fire
00:23:16fire
00:23:21Those damascals.
00:23:23How is this possible?
00:23:25It's not even a scratch.
00:23:27I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:29Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:31No, I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:34She's not the dark witch.
00:23:36Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:40This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:44How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:46That's right.
00:23:47The Queen, Angel, and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:51If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:54Except for the goddess healer.
00:23:55Think about it.
00:23:56We heard Lysander's voice.
00:23:58He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:00Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:01You're right.
00:24:02This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:24:08Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:24:11No, no, absolutely not.
00:24:13There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:16How could you know for sure?
00:24:18Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:21You're wrong, sir.
00:24:23This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:27It's called borderline revival.
00:24:30She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:33But only temporarily.
00:24:34It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:39That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:42I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:24:48My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:49He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:54Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:24:56The witch doctor.
00:24:58Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:02My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:05You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:09I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:14from me.
00:25:17This is it.
00:25:18The finishing touch.
00:25:20I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:22So we can both survive.
00:25:43It's poison gas.
00:25:45Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:50Poison gas?
00:25:51My son is in there.
00:25:53You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:25:55No, don't worry, General.
00:25:57Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:00Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:03Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:05And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:08They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:14I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
00:26:17It's now or never.
00:26:30What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:32It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:34Wait a second.
00:26:35You don't think that they're...
00:26:37You!
00:26:38You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:41Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:42If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:46Oh my god.
00:26:47Yeah?
00:26:47She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:49I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:53Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:26:57This is taking way too long.
00:27:00Captain Morales, it's time to get out.
00:27:02The big guns.
00:27:04These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:08Bazooka.
00:27:08She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:12Crap.
00:27:12Oh my god.
00:27:13Get back, son.
00:27:15Ready.
00:27:16Aim!
00:27:17Oh, shit.
00:27:22Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:36The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:38Shoot her dead now.
00:27:39Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:42I said stand down.
00:27:45Don't listen to her.
00:27:46She's a fraud.
00:27:47A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:49I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:53If I'm a termite, then...
00:27:55You're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:27:58Wait a second.
00:27:59Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:01He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:02You can see for yourself.
00:28:04Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:07That is it!
00:28:08No more stalling, General!
00:28:10If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:16Don't hurt her.
00:28:21She's a cure!
00:28:28His pulse is regular.
00:28:30In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:35There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:45Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:48Lysander's warm again.
00:28:49He's not cold and pale like before, and his heart is strong.
00:28:53Come, feel it.
00:28:55I saved my son.
00:28:58Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:02Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:06I've learned my lesson.
00:29:07I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:12Wait, wait!
00:29:13No, no.
00:29:14There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the
00:29:19queen, Angel, and I.
00:29:21It's the...
00:29:22The goddess healer!
00:29:28Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:30But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look
00:29:36a day after 20.
00:29:38It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:39What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:42Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:46Take care.
00:29:48No, wait!
00:29:49Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:52He's right.
00:29:53We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a
00:29:58wife if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:00Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:04I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:08I...
00:30:09I'm already engaged.
00:30:13Already engaged?
00:30:15I am.
00:30:15I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years, and
00:30:20he's coming back today.
00:30:21But don't be disappointed.
00:30:23Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:26I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:28Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:31But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:33Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:35Take the gold.
00:30:36No, really.
00:30:38I don't need anything.
00:30:40I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:46Trixie, it's your fiance.
00:30:48He's back.
00:30:49And he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:53I must go.
00:31:00Hobo close.
00:31:02Halo glow.
00:31:03I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:06It was just dumb luck.
00:31:09She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:11She could have been the richest woman in the world, marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:20I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:26Oh, my God.
00:31:28I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo.
00:31:30But this is godly.
00:31:33No, no, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:36Lysander's not what's supposed to be mine.
00:31:40I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:45You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:48Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:51Wait, no, we're not brides.
00:31:54No, she's just better than us.
00:31:56Oh, my God.
00:32:00We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:03She's no average Jane.
00:32:05No, she isn't.
00:32:06She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:07But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable
00:32:13-looking doll?
00:32:14But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:16No normal person could have done that.
00:32:18Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:21I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:23I have to find her.
00:32:24I have to make her my life.
00:32:25She won my heart over, too.
00:32:27But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:31All right, listen.
00:32:32I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:39I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house now.
00:32:48Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:49She waited for you.
00:32:51For three years.
00:32:53She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:32:55And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:32:57One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:00So get lost.
00:33:01Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:11Grandma.
00:33:12Beatrice, Trixie, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:15I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:17I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:21In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:24So sign over the house now.
00:33:31You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:34And I did.
00:33:36For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:39Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:41And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:44Do you have no shame?
00:33:46We were together for three years and, uh, it was a complete waste of my life when I could have
00:33:50been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:33:57That's how much she would owe me if I was in the rent-to-boyfriend business.
00:34:03I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:11Oh, yeah?
00:34:13Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
00:34:17She grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:20And now, she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
00:34:27And you?
00:34:29You're still nothing.
00:34:31So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:34Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:36Look what she, uh, got me for my engagement.
00:34:40Oops.
00:34:41Yeah.
00:34:42That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:52You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:54I certainly did.
00:34:55In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:07Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:09That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:12You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:16My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:35:22How dare you insult her.
00:35:25It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:26Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:29Poor Edna.
00:35:30She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:33What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:35Show her, Bob.
00:35:41This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:35:45She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:47She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:50I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:53Even if you got no game, I got street credit I got out of keep.
00:35:57You dig?
00:35:57The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:00And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:04Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:09I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:11I want to see how regular, everyday people live so that I can help them.
00:36:16Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:36:21What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:22It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:36:31Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:32Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:48At your wedding, I will.
00:36:50What?
00:36:51If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend,
00:36:56why should I do good by you?
00:36:58I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:04Fucking bitch!
00:37:05You better keep your word.
00:37:07Oh, that's rich.
00:37:09After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:11Do you remember that?
00:37:19Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:23They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:27Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:37:30I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:34Trillions?
00:37:36That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:41It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:37:46I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:50That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:37:55It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:37:59But please, Trixie dear, I know it was to broken your heart, but embellishing your worth and who you are,
00:38:08it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:11You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:13After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills,
00:38:18I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:38:22And that's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to Charity.
00:38:26You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:29I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right.
00:38:33Who actually deserves you.
00:38:35You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:38Oh, yeah.
00:38:44You said Trixie's crashing at our wedding.
00:38:47She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:49She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:38:54When hope when nobody steps on Snake, Snake bites back hard.
00:38:58So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:00Yeah.
00:39:01You mean...
00:39:04We broadcast that video of you?
00:39:09Yes.
00:39:10Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:39:13She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:17against my presidential glow-up.
00:39:20Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:29There he is.
00:39:31Welcome home, brother.
00:39:34Welcome home, General!
00:39:37Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:43He served with your regiment in the Marines.
00:39:45You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:39:47Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:51So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her?
00:39:55Fucking coward.
00:39:56According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:39:59Then we should join her.
00:40:01Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:07So she needs our support.
00:40:08Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:10Yes, sir!
00:40:11We will learn our lives to protect her, sir!
00:40:14Then let's roll.
00:40:30Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:32Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:34Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract allowing
00:40:40my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:46Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:49Wakeham.
00:40:49Stowe, butch is taking my last name.
00:40:52Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:40:55You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a partay after all.
00:41:00I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:07The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:41:13It's an honor.
00:41:13And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:41:18We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:22We'll let the wedding begin!
00:41:25Not so fast.
00:41:27The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:41:50You two really are a match made in hell.
00:41:54So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:41:57I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles.
00:42:00Who is she?
00:42:01Um, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:04Just watch.
00:42:08Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:09This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:11You lost.
00:42:11I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
00:42:14You know, being this poor.
00:42:17Me, bum a meal.
00:42:19Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:23And what evidence do you have of that?
00:42:24Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:42:27I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:30Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:42:34And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:37Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me.
00:42:39She's like...
00:42:41See, everyone?
00:42:43Butch already cut ties with his ex.
00:42:45But she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my wedding to suck up to me.
00:42:50This is what poor, sad girls do.
00:42:53They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:42:58Projecting much, Marissa?
00:42:59You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:04Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:11You, giving me the contract?
00:43:14You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:43:17So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
00:43:23dollar contract?
00:43:24We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:26And I saw potential in you.
00:43:29Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:43:31But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:34Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:43:37This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:40They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:43Damn right.
00:43:44You were too embarrassing for me.
00:43:47Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:49I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:43:52Bravo. Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:43:55Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:43:57Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:43:59She'll make her stop.
00:44:00Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:02She's a gold-dicking, blood-sucking leech.
00:44:05I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch.
00:44:11You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:44:15Okay, enough.
00:44:16You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:19Your moral posturing.
00:44:20But guess what?
00:44:22Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves.
00:44:26That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:29Because I've got the material goods.
00:44:31And you're just all empty talk.
00:44:33I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:44:35Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:44:39See this?
00:44:51Oh my god.
00:44:53Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:44:58The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:00No, absolutely not.
00:45:02I don't believe it.
00:45:04You all sound so scared already.
00:45:06Don't worry.
00:45:07This isn't that contract.
00:45:09It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:45:15See everyone?
00:45:16She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:18But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:45:20Look at her following orders.
00:45:21I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:45:24Like a good little peasant slave.
00:45:27That house is worth all her life savings.
00:45:32You want to, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:46You misunderstand me.
00:45:48I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:45:51I'm giving it to charity.
00:45:59Bro!
00:46:00She's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:02She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket-investing
00:46:06baddie.
00:46:07You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:10It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:12I know what this is.
00:46:14You've gone delusional.
00:46:16And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party in some Prince Charm.
00:46:20This morning will scoop you into money forever?
00:46:22Well, that's not happening.
00:46:24Security!
00:46:24Lock the doors.
00:46:25This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:46:31This is where your dreams will die, bitch!
00:46:36We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:38She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:41Butch Tanner.
00:46:42Well, he's going to wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:46:46Let's go.
00:46:50You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:46:52I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:46:56Including your head of command, Butch.
00:46:59General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:01You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:03He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:07You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:11So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:17No one here is going to believe you.
00:47:18If you really cured the incurable general, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:47:24And she's not.
00:47:25You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:28Show them, Butch.
00:47:34See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:37Trixie's just a freeloading beggar.
00:47:42She won't leave me and Marissa alone because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:46I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:48Sasa, she has a billion-dollar biomedical contract
00:47:52with the military.
00:47:54Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
00:47:59How despicable.
00:48:00She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:04Get out of here.
00:48:05No one wants to marry you.
00:48:06No free meals for the poor.
00:48:08Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:10This is high society.
00:48:12So you're either born on a silver spoon,
00:48:14or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:48:16Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here,
00:48:20maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
00:48:25I already have everything one can dream of.
00:48:28But I valued our friendship, Marissa.
00:48:30Which is why I came here to give you a second chance.
00:48:32To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
00:48:35But no.
00:48:37You stooped so low,
00:48:39it disgusts me.
00:48:40Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners
00:48:43like a bum.
00:48:44And who knows,
00:48:46if you've already started offering sexual services.
00:48:50Well then,
00:48:52why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:48:54My brother will never take you back.
00:48:57No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
00:49:00But make me happy,
00:49:02and I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:49:07Oh!
00:49:08Oh!
00:49:15How dare you hit my brother!
00:49:17I'm never letting you leave here alive!
00:49:20That's awesome.
00:49:21Do something.
00:49:22Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:24After I'm done with you, Trixie,
00:49:25not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:49:29Oh.
00:49:30Is that so?
00:49:32Security!
00:49:34Get down on your knees
00:49:36and give Bob one hell of a blowjob
00:49:38in front of everybody here
00:49:40or I'll pop so many holes in you
00:49:42the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:44I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:49:47Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before
00:49:49could crush you
00:49:50before you even touch me.
00:49:52Dream on!
00:49:54You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet,
00:49:57but you weren't good enough for me.
00:49:58You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:01Enough!
00:50:02You're souring my party,
00:50:03so you either get the fuck out
00:50:06or I'm going to shoot you.
00:50:08On the count of three!
00:50:10I think I quite like it here.
00:50:11Two!
00:50:22Mmm.
00:50:24This wine is so delicious.
00:50:26One!
00:50:27Shoot!
00:50:30Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:50:55I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:50:57Did they hurt you?
00:50:58No, I'm fine.
00:51:00But, um,
00:51:01when did I become your future wife?
00:51:05You saved me,
00:51:07Trixie, remember?
00:51:08I'm a man of my word.
00:51:10They're never going to hurt you ever again.
00:51:12Really, it was nothing.
00:51:14I saved you because you're a good man,
00:51:16not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:51:24I see what this is.
00:51:26You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:28Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
00:51:30Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:31She waited for you for three years.
00:51:33This is the kind of woman of virtue
00:51:34that a man would die for.
00:51:38Virtue?
00:51:39Don't make me laugh.
00:51:41She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:43No man who, in a hundred-foot pole,
00:51:47would want to touch her.
00:51:48She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:51:54I see her in the Marines.
00:51:58I'm a major.
00:51:59Look, man,
00:52:00I know Trixie is like a, I don't know,
00:52:03like a seven now that she's all cleaned up,
00:52:05but don't waste your manhood
00:52:06on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:14A real man
00:52:16never talks about a woman that way.
00:52:19You're a coward.
00:52:29We don't need to fight fire with fire
00:52:31to deal with the likes of them.
00:52:33You're very gracious, Trixie, you know that?
00:52:38You're only getting off of it
00:52:39because she's so kind,
00:52:40so you're going to do me the favor
00:52:41of never coming near her again.
00:52:42You understand?
00:52:43You want to fuck with me, little dipshit?
00:52:45I'm a fucking major.
00:52:47You're probably lowest rank
00:52:48of the military grunts.
00:52:50I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:52:52Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:52:54I thought you were in the Marines.
00:52:56What have you been doing this whole time
00:52:57if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:00He was just a supply boy.
00:53:04War hero?
00:53:06Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:09Poor girl.
00:53:10Did you sell your house to hire this actor
00:53:12so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:14A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:17Trixie is worthless
00:53:18because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:53:23A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:25What a pair.
00:53:27Seems like they don't know who you are
00:53:28since you've been out of action for so long.
00:53:31Maybe we should try to play some of us some more.
00:53:33Don't you think?
00:53:35Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:43What is all this?
00:53:45Trixie, listen.
00:53:46I know that you didn't ask for anything
00:53:48after you saved my life.
00:53:50But I know that we shared a moment.
00:53:55I'm not the kind of man
00:53:56to get close to a woman
00:53:57and then just disappear.
00:53:59It's not in my nature.
00:54:01I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:03Listen, Trixie.
00:54:05I have never met a woman
00:54:09like you.
00:54:10So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:13So I know
00:54:14that you're the one for me.
00:54:18This guy's either nuts
00:54:20or a really,
00:54:21really good actor.
00:54:23Oscar worthy.
00:54:24Oscar worthy.
00:54:25No.
00:54:27First gift.
00:54:32Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:35So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:38Worth $500 million.
00:54:40Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:44Second gift.
00:54:48This contains all the rights
00:54:49to my entire fortune.
00:54:52Which is now yours.
00:54:53Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:54:56It must be that easy.
00:54:57They already spent their entire life savings
00:54:59on this clown show.
00:55:00They've got nothing left.
00:55:01Why, Sander.
00:55:02I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:04No, look.
00:55:05I know.
00:55:06I know that you are the farthest thing
00:55:08from a material woman.
00:55:09Okay?
00:55:10Which is exactly why
00:55:11my third gift
00:55:12is, um,
00:55:16well...
00:55:30Cleo!
00:55:31Hey!
00:55:33Oh my god.
00:55:35You found my dog.
00:55:40Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:41But with you,
00:55:42it's so much more.
00:55:44Trixie Amore.
00:55:48Will you marry me?
00:55:52You know I can't say no
00:55:53to this doggo?
00:55:58Yes.
00:55:59I will marry you.
00:56:16Go, go, power couple.
00:56:18Woo!
00:56:19Ha-ha!
00:56:19Okay, stop.
00:56:21The only power couple here
00:56:22is Butch and I.
00:56:25Let's remind everyone
00:56:26how worth it's Trixie is.
00:56:29No man
00:56:30in their right mind
00:56:31would marry
00:56:33that embarrassing
00:56:33sack of scraps.
00:56:34Hey.
00:56:35I don't care
00:56:36if she's homeless or not,
00:56:37but I'm making
00:56:38this woman my wife,
00:56:39which means that
00:56:40she will be treated as
00:56:41and cherished as
00:56:42the most precious
00:56:43woman on Earth.
00:56:44Understand?
00:56:49You still don't realize
00:56:50that my brother
00:56:52is the most powerful
00:56:53man on Earth.
00:56:53This is General
00:56:55Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:03As if,
00:57:05like the almighty
00:57:06General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:07would propose
00:57:08to a homeless prostitute
00:57:10like Trixie.
00:57:10Yes,
00:57:11the Armstrong family
00:57:12basically controlled
00:57:12the global stock market.
00:57:14Lysander Armstrong
00:57:15would sooner marry
00:57:16the Princess of England
00:57:17than someone
00:57:17from the lowest rank
00:57:19of society.
00:57:20I bet my life
00:57:21you're all just
00:57:22actors.
00:57:23Then you better
00:57:23enjoy your last breath.
00:57:25Come on,
00:57:25Lysander,
00:57:26what are we waiting for?
00:57:26Let's show them
00:57:27what we can do
00:57:27and get revenge
00:57:28for Trixie.
00:57:29What can a bunch
00:57:29of piss poor people
00:57:30do to us,
00:57:31the elites?
00:57:32Infect us with
00:57:33your poor people
00:57:33bad luck?
00:57:34She wishes
00:57:35she could blame
00:57:36her low status
00:57:37on bad luck.
00:57:38Truth is,
00:57:38she's just a useless,
00:57:40lazy bitchin' bum.
00:57:42She's utterly
00:57:43unmarriable.
00:57:46I can dispose
00:57:47of them
00:57:48in other means
00:57:49if you don't
00:57:49prefer violence.
00:57:50I'd handle them
00:57:51myself,
00:57:52but...
00:57:54I'll let you
00:57:55do all the
00:57:55heavy lifting.
00:57:57Go ahead,
00:57:57Lysander.
00:58:05Yes,
00:58:05hello,
00:58:05this is Lysander.
00:58:06Please
00:58:07bankrupt
00:58:07Marissa Wickham
00:58:08for me.
00:58:10Oh my gosh,
00:58:11I'm so scared.
00:58:12Anyone these days
00:58:14could call anyone
00:58:15and pretend
00:58:15to be on the phone.
00:58:22Uh,
00:58:23hello?
00:58:24Yes.
00:58:27What?
00:58:33I'm bankrupt!
00:58:36Hey, hey, hey.
00:58:42Hey, hey.
00:58:43Are you sure
00:58:44that was the call,
00:58:44Sasa?
00:58:45That was a real call?
00:58:46People don't just
00:58:47suddenly go bankrupt
00:58:48like that.
00:58:48My company's dead!
00:58:50It evaporated!
00:58:51It's a thin air!
00:58:55That's impossible!
00:58:57Who are you?
00:58:59What did you do?
00:59:00Secretary Cho,
00:59:01you said you're
00:59:02the Secretary of Health,
00:59:03right?
00:59:04And you yourself
00:59:04said that the
00:59:05Armstrong family
00:59:06owns the entire
00:59:06global stock market.
00:59:08Could that be
00:59:08how they bankrupted
00:59:10Miss Wickham?
00:59:11Then that means
00:59:14you're really
00:59:15Lysander Armstrong,
00:59:17the richest
00:59:18and most powerful
00:59:19man in the country?
00:59:21Trixie's married,
00:59:22the famed war hero,
00:59:24the man every girl
00:59:25wants and every man
00:59:26wants to be.
00:59:28Now you believe me?
00:59:30Those who do bad
00:59:31will always end up
00:59:31losing everything.
00:59:33There's got to be
00:59:34some trick to this.
00:59:35You guys are just
00:59:36bums trying to extort
00:59:37money from us.
00:59:38It's awesome.
00:59:40It's awesome.
00:59:41It's awesome.
00:59:41It's awesome.
00:59:47I know why
00:59:48you're all over
00:59:49Trixie,
00:59:49because you've been
00:59:50in the military
00:59:50for so long,
00:59:51you don't know
00:59:52what a real woman
00:59:52can do for you.
00:59:54Let me take you
00:59:55to my wedding chamber
00:59:56and I'll show you
00:59:56a good time.
01:00:00Do you have
01:00:00your hands for me
01:00:01or I'll have them
01:00:02removed for you?
01:00:03Ah!
01:00:04Whoa!
01:00:05Ah!
01:00:07I would never
01:00:08be interested
01:00:09in a woman
01:00:09who's as vile
01:00:11and cruel
01:00:11and wicked
01:00:12as you are.
01:00:13Guess the cheater
01:00:14gets cheated on
01:00:15eventually.
01:00:18Sasa was just
01:00:19trying to save
01:00:19the company.
01:00:20I don't blame her
01:00:22at all.
01:00:22Your double standards
01:00:23are incredible.
01:00:24Okay, you don't
01:00:25want me?
01:00:26Fine.
01:00:26But there's plenty
01:00:27of other efficiency.
01:00:28I can give you
01:00:29a room full of
01:00:30pageant winners,
01:00:3118 years old,
01:00:32fresh for the taking.
01:00:40I did that
01:00:41so you wouldn't
01:00:42have to,
01:00:43Miss Trixine.
01:00:44Thank you, Devin.
01:00:46Marissa,
01:00:47not only have you
01:00:48backstabbed me,
01:00:49your best friend,
01:00:51by stealing my fiancé,
01:00:53but now you'd sell
01:00:54out other innocent
01:00:54girls just to get
01:00:55your company back?
01:00:56You're an insult
01:00:57to all good women
01:00:58out there.
01:00:59No, to all of humanity.
01:01:00So now,
01:01:01everything that I've
01:01:02ever given you to,
01:01:03I'm taking it all back.
01:01:07Wait, everyone,
01:01:09stop.
01:01:12They're impostors.
01:01:17I just got off
01:01:18the phone with
01:01:18the president
01:01:18and she said
01:01:19your contract
01:01:19is not getting
01:01:20canceled because
01:01:21it was assigned
01:01:22by the goddess
01:01:23healer herself.
01:01:24So we won't
01:01:25go bankrupt?
01:01:26The goddess healer?
01:01:27You mean the
01:01:28eccentric and highly
01:01:29elusive sage
01:01:30in the field of medicine
01:01:31approved of mine?
01:01:32Biomedical products?
01:01:34Yes, that's the
01:01:35highest honor
01:01:35anyone can have
01:01:36in the field
01:01:37of health and medicine.
01:01:38The goddess healer's
01:01:39motto is
01:01:40the right rewrites
01:01:41the wrong,
01:01:42the left
01:01:43leaves the wrong,
01:01:43the left.
01:01:45That means
01:01:45she's rewarding me.
01:01:47The president
01:01:47would never
01:01:48let your company
01:01:49go bankrupt.
01:01:50In fact,
01:01:51she's on her way
01:01:52now.
01:01:54So you're telling me
01:01:55this dashingly
01:01:57handsome motherfucker
01:01:58over here
01:01:59isn't Lysander
01:02:00Armstrong?
01:02:00Who the fuck
01:02:01cares who he is?
01:02:02If the president
01:02:03and the goddess healer
01:02:04approves of my
01:02:05products,
01:02:05who cares about
01:02:06this washed up
01:02:07war hero?
01:02:07We can break his
01:02:08legs, break his
01:02:09arms, no one
01:02:09would even bat an eye.
01:02:11She even gave us
01:02:11explicit permission
01:02:12to call upon
01:02:13secret services.
01:02:15FBI!
01:02:16FBI!
01:02:18You're under arrest
01:02:19for fraudulent claims
01:02:20and identity theft.
01:02:23Gotcha.
01:02:28Guess I still get
01:02:29the last laugh,
01:02:29Trixie.
01:02:30No, don't arrest her!
01:02:32Trixie's a good person.
01:02:34Please, officer,
01:02:35don't arrest her!
01:02:36Grandma,
01:02:37Mr. Rogers,
01:02:38Mrs. Williams,
01:02:39what are you all
01:02:40doing here?
01:02:41The neighbors heard
01:02:41about the breakup
01:02:42between you and Butch.
01:02:43We were worried,
01:02:44so we came
01:02:45here to back you up.
01:02:47Listen, officer,
01:02:48I can attest
01:02:49that Trixie Amoria
01:02:50is a good neighbor.
01:02:51She's very kindhearted
01:02:52and would never
01:02:53break the law.
01:02:54Yes, and one time
01:02:55when my daughter
01:02:56needed university
01:02:57tuition,
01:02:58Trixie gave her
01:02:59everything she had
01:03:00just to help her out.
01:03:01She also paid
01:03:02for my recent
01:03:03heart surgery as well.
01:03:04My fiance really
01:03:06is an incredible woman.
01:03:08She's an angel
01:03:09descended from heaven.
01:03:15You must be the criminal
01:03:16pretending to be
01:03:17General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:18My brother
01:03:19is not a criminal.
01:03:20He's a war hero
01:03:21who single-handedly
01:03:22saved this country
01:03:23from a terrorist attack.
01:03:25Without him,
01:03:25this whole country
01:03:26would have been
01:03:26bombed to ash.
01:03:28And that's why
01:03:28it's twice the crime
01:03:30is stealing his identity.
01:03:31General Lysander Armstrong
01:03:33only fell into a coma
01:03:34because of the fight
01:03:35with the terrorists.
01:03:35And we've received
01:03:36no word that he's
01:03:37woken up yet,
01:03:37so this must be
01:03:38an imposter.
01:03:41I can tell that
01:03:41this whole dilemma
01:03:42with my identity
01:03:43is causing you
01:03:43a lot of trouble.
01:03:44I promise that
01:03:45I'll get it resolved
01:03:46and we can focus
01:03:47on taking down
01:03:47your scumbag ex.
01:03:50If you want to arrest
01:03:51me, fine.
01:03:53But don't fuck
01:03:54with my fiance.
01:03:55You don't get to
01:03:56decide, punk.
01:03:57Let's go!
01:04:20Get him!
01:04:21If you can.
01:04:24If you can.
01:04:52If you can.
01:05:13Is that enough pain?
01:05:14Or do you want more?
01:05:24Legend.
01:05:25Is written all over you, Leicenander.
01:05:28Grandma.
01:05:31Meet my new fiancé.
01:05:34Wow, your new fiancé?
01:05:36He's so manly.
01:05:38Much better than your last one.
01:05:40I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:43It's Butch's loss.
01:05:45Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:05:48She's like a shining star in the sky,
01:05:51and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:05:53Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:05:55I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, fam?
01:05:58Drown out the poor!
01:06:00Drown out the poor!
01:06:01Drown out the poor!
01:06:03Drown out the poor!
01:06:04Drown out the poor!
01:06:06Drown out the poor!
01:06:06Drown out the poor!
01:06:07Drown out the poor!
01:06:07See, Trixie?
01:06:08You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:11You can't compete against me,
01:06:12even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:14We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:17So you're using defenseless lives as your shield
01:06:20because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:22Let them eat cake!
01:06:33You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:34Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:36Attack!
01:06:53You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:02What the fuck was that?
01:07:04I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:05I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:16Damn it!
01:07:17Damn it!
01:07:18Damn it!
01:07:20You forgot I had a gun, too?
01:07:22That'll teach you for messing with the wig hams.
01:07:24Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:26We're quartered.
01:07:27I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:30Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:33I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:36They will be punished.
01:07:40Now hold still for me.
01:07:43Right.
01:07:44Ray rides the road.
01:07:56Holy fuck!
01:07:57Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:07:59By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:01Is she the goddess healer?
01:08:06I'm all better now.
01:08:07Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:09See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:12No, please.
01:08:13I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:16Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:17Sure.
01:08:19You hear that?
01:08:20She's just some average homeless girl in the streets.
01:08:23She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:26While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:30Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me,
01:08:33but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:36I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:38And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:41God?
01:08:42Wrong.
01:08:44But you're close.
01:08:45Bullshit!
01:08:46I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:08:51You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:08:53Then let's see you try.
01:08:55Charge!
01:09:04The hell is this?
01:09:06This is the line between life and death.
01:09:10Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:13I'll admit it looks pretty good, but, uh,
01:09:15I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:17Yeah.
01:09:18You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:19What if it's a trap?
01:09:21That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:23We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:24She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:27Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:30I will.
01:09:34Left leaves the wrong arrest.
01:09:43I'm fine.
01:09:44Nothing happened.
01:09:46You'll see soon enough.
01:09:47Oh, please.
01:09:48I really wanna die.
01:09:50And you call this the line between life and death?
01:09:52I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:09:55Whoops.
01:09:56Just crossed it again.
01:09:57Whoops.
01:09:58And again.
01:09:59Nothing's happening.
01:10:11No!
01:10:12No!
01:10:12No!
01:10:13Hey!
01:10:15What did you do to my brother?
01:10:16I didn't do anything.
01:10:18Your brother just didn't wanna heed my warning.
01:10:21I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:23If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:26Come on.
01:10:28Major.
01:10:29Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:30How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:32See?
01:10:33This must be an illusion.
01:10:37Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:40Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:10:49You're so sore I wouldn't marry you.
01:10:51You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:10:52Oh, please.
01:10:53You hurt us first.
01:10:55At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:10:58But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:03Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:11:07You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:10You think anyone would wanna marry you when you got nothing to offer?
01:11:15When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:21Don't touch my wife.
01:11:25And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:30You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:32But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:36That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:39Oh, really?
01:11:40Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:44You've got nothing on me.
01:11:49Yes.
01:11:50Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:11:57Goddess!
01:11:58Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:01Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:06Get the VP. We're leaving now.
01:12:11Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:15God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:18I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:21You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:23A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:26Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:28I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:30Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:34You hear that, everyone?
01:12:35There is no way lowlife Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:41She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention,
01:12:45so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:12:47No.
01:12:47My granddaughter would never do that.
01:12:50Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:12:55Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:05First, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:09and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:14Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:18I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:21You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:27Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous Trixie?
01:13:31It ain't working. You can't just fake the...
01:13:36Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary. It's like real magic.
01:13:41Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:13:46And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:13:54No.
01:13:55Trixie, look.
01:13:57I believe you.
01:13:59You saved me.
01:14:00Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:04No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:07We'll riot against you now.
01:14:09Tear her apart!
01:14:11Tear her apart!
01:14:12Tear her apart!
01:14:14Tear her apart!
01:14:16Tear her apart!
01:14:17Tear her apart!
01:14:17Tear her apart!
01:14:17The Vice President arrives!
01:14:19Tear her apart!
01:14:34Who dare cause ruckus in here.
01:14:40Your General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:43Wait, what?
01:14:44He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:14:47No, no, we've been through this already once, okay?
01:14:50Right, Secretary Cho?
01:14:52This actor Trixie Hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:14:57But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:01Yes, we all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:04What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:10And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:13The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell.
01:15:17And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:20He is the general.
01:15:23Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:25Did you hear that?
01:15:26Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:31So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:34We got the VP and the president on our side.
01:15:38You'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:41I told you.
01:15:42Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:44This is treason.
01:15:45Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:15:53Hurry!
01:15:54The goddess healer needs us.
01:15:58You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:00My brother is a war hero.
01:16:02He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:05He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:07If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:08Enough!
01:16:08You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:13Not just your brother.
01:16:15Yeah.
01:16:16It's okay.
01:16:18Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:21I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life.
01:16:26And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:28I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:34I truly saved a good man.
01:16:41I will not let you bring ruin to my fiance.
01:16:44And what can you do about it?
01:16:46Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:16:49My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:16:54Let's try it out on them.
01:16:57Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:58There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:00Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:02Despicable!
01:17:03What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:09Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:13Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:28Wait, that's the present.
01:17:42No, hey, idiot!
01:17:50Oh, my gosh!
01:17:52I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:17:54That was...
01:17:55They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:17:58What is this?
01:18:00Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:04This is a war crime.
01:18:05These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:08You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:10I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:11I have the presidential contract.
01:18:12With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:15And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:19What are you doing?
01:18:20Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:24That is easy.
01:18:25There's no need.
01:18:27I'll save everyone.
01:18:42It's raining gold!
01:18:45What's happening?
01:18:47Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:18:48It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:18:52She...
01:18:52She...
01:18:53She is...
01:18:54She is a criminal.
01:18:56Don't worry, Madam President.
01:18:58We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:00I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:01Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:04What are you talking about?
01:19:06The President literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract.
01:19:19This contract?
01:19:21Yeah!
01:19:22Yes!
01:19:22Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:41My contract, you bitch!
01:19:43And that's not all.
01:19:57This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:19:59There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:03Don't you realize?
01:20:04Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:07You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:10Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:13And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:15So prepare yourself.
01:20:16Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:20What are you going to do?
01:20:22The President is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:28You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:32Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:35So what's your final decision?
01:20:38I'll...
01:20:39I'll...
01:20:39She's going to give me my billion dollar...
01:20:46I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:20:53Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:20:56You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar contract.
01:20:58You wish, you idiot!
01:21:02I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:08I don't understand.
01:21:09I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:15And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:20You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:24The one and only, and it's...
01:21:31Her.
01:21:32Her.
01:21:33Her.
01:21:36Her.
01:21:37Her.
01:21:42Her.
01:21:47Welcome, goddess.
01:21:55Uh, we, uh...
01:22:00You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:02How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:05Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:09I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:12To help those in need.
01:22:14And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:18No, so that means the billion-dollar contract,
01:22:21it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:23She took it away just like that.
01:22:27That was our golden ticket.
01:22:28You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:22:31But after everything you've done,
01:22:33we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:35No, please, I swear.
01:22:37I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:38Sit down.
01:22:41It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:43Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:22:45She's an amazing person.
01:22:46And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:22:50She's going to be my wife.
01:22:52Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman
01:22:54on this planet.
01:23:00I love you.
01:23:14All her gold.
01:23:15All her clothes.
01:23:17All that could have been mine.
01:23:18This is all your fault.
01:23:21You seduce me!
01:23:23Don't help me!
01:23:24You were the one that came onto me, you himbo!
01:23:28Please, Trixie, give me another chance!
01:23:32I want to be rich again!
01:23:34I'll be your slave.
01:23:35I'll kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:37You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:39But it's too late now.
01:23:41All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others
01:23:44just to benefit yourself.
01:23:46You two should be locked up.
01:23:47And she shall.
01:23:49For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:23:52arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:23:55It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:23:57I never loved you.
01:23:59It's your fault!
01:23:59I was only with you for your money.
01:24:01I don't care.
01:24:02You were rich.
01:24:03You house and self-help.
01:24:05Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:08We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:11My platform is spreading kindness just like you.
01:24:15I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:17That is why I saved you.
01:24:19With these healing hands,
01:24:21I will work tirelessly to change the world
01:24:23one good deed at a time.
01:24:25Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:31Let's party!
01:24:32Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:34Right now.
01:24:36Yes!
01:24:37Well...
01:24:38Woo!
01:24:40Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:24:45I do.
01:24:46I do.
01:24:47You may kiss the bride.
01:24:50You may kiss the bride.
01:24:51You may kiss the bride.
01:24:53You may kiss the bride.
01:24:55You may kiss the bride.
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