- 11 hours ago
Engsub She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:04Please save my child.
00:00:21Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:30Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:41Rejuvenate.
00:00:49Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:53No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:57I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:03Here you go, miss.
00:01:07Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:11in need?
00:01:24You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:29run!
00:01:33Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:42Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:47We're juvenile.
00:01:52See? Good is the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb.
00:01:57Come on, Cleo. Let's go!
00:02:04Get him up here.
00:02:09Get him, sir!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:14Please.
00:02:16My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:19We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:21If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:24The Elizander Armstrong.
00:02:26His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:30He's so hot.
00:02:32Does he come with the money?
00:02:33Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:36Money, fame, power.
00:02:38It's all yours.
00:02:44Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:46Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:50Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:54Grandma!
00:02:54I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:02:58Grandma?
00:03:00Grandma.
00:03:01When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:05I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:07And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:13Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:21We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:34Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:38Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:42Grant me a wish?
00:03:43That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:45The downfall of humanity.
00:03:46It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:49What the...
00:03:50Oh, jeez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:53Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:56I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:00Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:04Can you do that?
00:04:05I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:10Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:12Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:16Hold still.
00:04:23What? My migraine's gone.
00:04:26Okay, then let's go.
00:04:27If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:30Come on. Come on.
00:04:31Oh!
00:04:45How is he?
00:04:46What is the diagnosis?
00:04:48Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:51I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:54Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:55You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:57Don't worry, General.
00:04:58I'm the angel herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:03I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:24I have no clue what this is.
00:05:28Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:33That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:35Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:38I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:50He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:52Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:05:59Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:01They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
00:06:05If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:10Who?
00:06:14The goddess of healing.
00:06:17Wait a second.
00:06:19You're not talking about the legendary goddess, you know?
00:06:21That's correct.
00:06:23Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:28That's her motto.
00:06:29It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:32We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:34She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:38No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:39If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
00:06:44I don't care if I go bankrupt.
00:06:46I will find her.
00:06:47James, come put out a bounty.
00:06:50To the entire world, whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:57There's no need.
00:07:12I'll save your son.
00:07:15Who the hell is she?
00:07:16Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:18She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:20Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:21How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:25Exactly.
00:07:26God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:29She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:32Ew!
00:07:33She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:36I bet it has fleas.
00:07:38That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:42Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:49Don't touch him.
00:07:52They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:57So step aside.
00:07:59I'll take it from here.
00:08:01Could you hold this?
00:08:02Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:03You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:05I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:09I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:12I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:18Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:22A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:29Ew!
00:08:30Disgusting.
00:08:31Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:33Security!
00:08:34Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:37Let's go.
00:08:37If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:45Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:08:50Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:53You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:56All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:08:59But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:05Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:08You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:10And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:13But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:18Devin, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:21No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:22My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:24I can't lose him.
00:09:26Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:32My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:37Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:38He'd make a great husband.
00:09:42Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:43As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:50Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:53I mean, look at her.
00:09:54Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:00Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:04Continue wasting your time.
00:10:06But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:33What the hell are you doing?
00:10:37I knew she was a perv!
00:10:39She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:42Do you all not know that Sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:45Are you insane?
00:10:47Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:51He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphie.
00:10:58Yeah, right.
00:10:59I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:02Oh, okay.
00:11:03I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:05I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:09And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:16Chris?
00:11:23It's worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:26What?
00:11:27So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, the rod of a sepulius?
00:11:34Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:39I agree.
00:11:40I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
00:11:46years?
00:11:47We are all certified.
00:11:48But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:52She's right about everything.
00:11:56Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:01And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:05Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:06Oh.
00:12:07And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:09Because I just discovered it.
00:12:11This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:15The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:17A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:20But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:25What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:26I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:31Precisely.
00:12:32You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:34You don't compare to me, us, who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:40I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:43Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:47And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:51which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:55Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:57Oh my God.
00:12:59If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:03I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:05Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:10What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:11It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:17Then let's have a bet.
00:13:19If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:24And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:31These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:35You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:38Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:41There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:45Don't worry.
00:13:47I got this.
00:13:50It's a deal.
00:13:52I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:54No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:02Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:09Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:13Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:25I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:28I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:31I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:36Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:39Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:40What for?
00:14:40Don't listen to her.
00:14:43She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:48Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:52Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:14:59What?
00:15:00Did you just call me?
00:15:03There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:08Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:12Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:18Oh, yeah?
00:15:19Hey, you want to see real pain?
00:15:20Where's the dog?
00:15:21Well, put down the dog!
00:15:23With pleasure.
00:15:39Left, leave the wrong breath.
00:15:45You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:51She's been poisoned!
00:15:54It was her!
00:15:55Do you see any poison on me?
00:15:58Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:04This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:07Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:09Of course.
00:16:11I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:14If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:34Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:35This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:37I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
00:16:41This is what I call malpractice.
00:16:46This isn't fatal.
00:16:47She'll live.
00:16:48But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:50Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:52Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:53Right this way.
00:16:55Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:56What the hell is going on?
00:16:57You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:02Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:03Every second counts.
00:17:06Let's go for a dip, shall we?
00:17:12General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:17Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:21Hold on.
00:17:22You two are going in there alone?
00:17:25If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:31All right, but I warn you, no funny business.
00:18:37You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
00:18:42Exactly.
00:18:42What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:18:45She could blackmail you for millions.
00:18:48That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:18:50And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:18:54Held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:18:57Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:00We have to have faith.
00:19:02Where did you actually find this little life?
00:19:05Uh, on the streets?
00:19:09Are you shitting me?
00:19:11You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:13Are you nuts?
00:19:14You don't know her.
00:19:15You don't know her background.
00:19:16She could be a psychotic murder.
00:19:18That is it, General.
00:19:19You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:21You're right.
00:19:21That's it.
00:19:22I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:24James, let's go.
00:19:25Yes, sir.
00:19:36I told you all to stay out.
00:19:44This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:45We can't be interrupted.
00:19:46Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:52I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:19:58I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:00No.
00:20:05You see that, General?
00:20:06This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:09This is a witchcraft.
00:20:11I know what this is.
00:20:13This is the dark witch.
00:20:15I've heard of her.
00:20:16She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive.
00:20:22I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:25James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:28Yes, sir.
00:20:32You regain consciousness.
00:20:44Help me.
00:20:45I'm just one.
00:20:50Something's wrong.
00:20:54You were drunk with an athrodisiac.
00:20:57Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:02That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:11Sir?
00:21:12The SWAT team is here.
00:21:14Captain Morales.
00:21:17My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:22I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:25Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:27We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:34Right.
00:21:35He writes the wrong.
00:21:44Who the fuck are you?
00:21:46And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:49Good.
00:21:50You're awake.
00:21:51I'm saving you.
00:21:53Saving me?
00:21:54By bathing with me?
00:21:56Who are you?
00:21:57You're a fucking spy?
00:21:59Talk!
00:21:59I swear to God, I'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:03You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stippor.
00:22:08I will never.
00:22:09Oh, really?
00:22:24Look who's guilty now.
00:22:27Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right?
00:22:29But it is a biological fact.
00:22:31A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:37Science, okay?
00:22:38It just means that my body is physically...
00:22:40...is physically...
00:22:43You're distracting me with your friend.
00:22:45And I'm a professional.
00:22:47I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:49Captain, do something now.
00:22:51Ready!
00:22:56We're almost there.
00:22:58Aim!
00:23:01Get him, boys.
00:23:02Get him!
00:23:04Fire!
00:23:08Fire!
00:23:23Those demon seals.
00:23:25How is this possible?
00:23:27It's not even a scratch.
00:23:29I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:31Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:34No.
00:23:34I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:37She's not the dark witch.
00:23:39Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:42This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:46How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:48That's right.
00:23:49The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:53If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:56Except for the Goddess Healer.
00:23:57Think about it.
00:23:58We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:00He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:02Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:03You're right.
00:24:04This homeless girl is maybe the Goddess...
00:24:10Maybe this homeless girl is really the Goddess...
00:24:13No!
00:24:13No!
00:24:15Absolutely not!
00:24:16There is no way this hobo girl is better than us!
00:24:19But how could you know for sure?
00:24:20Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:24You're wrong, sir!
00:24:25This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:30It's called borderline revival.
00:24:32She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:35But only temporarily.
00:24:37It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:41That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:44I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler-rod-bearing witch!
00:24:50My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:52He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant!
00:24:57Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:24:59The witch doctor.
00:25:00Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:05My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:07You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:11I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:17from me.
00:25:19This is it.
00:25:21The finishing touch.
00:25:23I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:25So we can both survive.
00:25:45It's poison gas.
00:25:48Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:53Poison gas?
00:25:54Poison gas?
00:25:55My son is in there.
00:25:56You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:25:58No, don't worry, General.
00:25:59Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:03Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:06Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:08And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:11They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:16I knew they promised you that I'd save you.
00:26:19It's now or never.
00:26:33What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:35It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:37Wait a second.
00:26:38You don't think that they're...
00:26:40You, you suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there.
00:26:43Don't point your fingers at me.
00:26:45If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:49Oh my God.
00:26:49Yeah?
00:26:50She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:52I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:56Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:27:00This is taking way too long.
00:27:03Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:07These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:11Bazooka.
00:27:11She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:14Crap.
00:27:15Oh my God.
00:27:15Get back, son.
00:27:18Ready.
00:27:19Aim.
00:27:20Oh, shit.
00:27:25Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:40The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:42Shoot her dead now.
00:27:43Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:45I said stand down.
00:27:48Don't listen to her.
00:27:49She's a fraud.
00:27:50A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:53I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:56If I'm a termite, then...
00:27:58You're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:28:01Wait a second.
00:28:02Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:04He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:06You can see for yourself.
00:28:07Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:10That is it.
00:28:11No more stalling, General.
00:28:13If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:19Don't hurt her.
00:28:20Oh.
00:28:25He's a cure.
00:28:32His pulse is regular.
00:28:33In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:38There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:49Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:51Lysander's warm again.
00:28:52He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:55And his heart is strong.
00:28:56Come, feel it.
00:28:59I saved my son.
00:29:01Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:05Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:10I've learned my lesson.
00:29:11I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:16Wait, wait.
00:29:17No, no.
00:29:17There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen,
00:29:23angel, and I.
00:29:31Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:34But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look a
00:29:40day after 20.
00:29:42It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:43What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:46Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:50Take care.
00:29:51No, wait.
00:29:53Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:55He's right.
00:29:57We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
00:30:01if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:04Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:08I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:13I'm already engaged.
00:30:17Already engaged?
00:30:18I am.
00:30:19I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years, and he's coming back today.
00:30:25But don't be disappointed.
00:30:27Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:29I just got lucky with you, brother.
00:30:31Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:34But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:36Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:39Take the gold.
00:30:40No, really.
00:30:42I don't need anything.
00:30:44I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:49Trixie, it's your fiancé.
00:30:51He's back, and he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:56I must go.
00:31:04Hobo close.
00:31:05Halo glow.
00:31:07I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:10It was just dumb luck.
00:31:12She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:15She could have been the richest woman in the world, marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:23I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:30Oh, my God.
00:31:32I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:37No, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:40My third job is supposed to be mine.
00:31:44I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:48You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:51Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:55No.
00:31:56We're not brides.
00:31:57No, she's just better than us.
00:32:00Oh, my God.
00:32:02Oh, my God.
00:32:05Oh, my God.
00:32:12She had these special skills.
00:32:14Why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:18But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:19No normal person could have done that.
00:32:21Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:25I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:26I have to find her.
00:32:27I have to make her my life.
00:32:29She won my heart over, too.
00:32:31But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:34All right, listen.
00:32:36I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:38Yeah.
00:32:39Yeah.
00:32:43I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things, out of my house now.
00:32:51Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:53She waited for you for three years.
00:32:56She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:32:58And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now, one with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:03So get lost.
00:33:05Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:14Grandma.
00:33:16Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:19I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:21I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:25In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:28So sign over the house now.
00:33:35You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:38And I did.
00:33:40For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:42Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:45And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:48Do you have no shame?
00:33:50We were together for three years and it was a complete waste of my life
00:33:53when I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:01That's how much you would owe me if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:07I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:15Oh yeah?
00:34:17Well, Marissa
00:34:19is so much better than you.
00:34:21She grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:24And now
00:34:25she's the CEO
00:34:26of an entire
00:34:27corporation.
00:34:31And you?
00:34:33You're still nothing.
00:34:35So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:38Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:40Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:34:43Oops.
00:34:45Yeah.
00:34:46That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:56You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:58I certainly did.
00:34:59In fact, Marissa, you and your dim-wit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:10What?
00:35:11Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:13That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:16You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:20My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:35:26How dare you insult her?
00:35:29It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:30Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:33Poor Edna.
00:35:34She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:37What is he talking about, Tracy?
00:35:39Show her, Bob.
00:35:45This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:35:49She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:51She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:54I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:57Even if you got no game.
00:35:59I got street credit I got out of keep.
00:36:01You dig?
00:36:02The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:04And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:08Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:13I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:16I want to see how regular, everyday people live so that I can help them.
00:36:21Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:36:25What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:26It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:36:35Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:37Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:52At your wedding, I will.
00:36:54What?
00:36:55If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend,
00:37:01why should I do good by you?
00:37:03I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:08Fucking bitch!
00:37:10You better keep your word.
00:37:11Oh, that's rich.
00:37:13After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:16Do you remember that?
00:37:24Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:27They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:31Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:37:35I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:38Trillions?
00:37:41That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:45It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:37:51I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:54That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:37:59It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:03But please, Trixie dear, I know it was to broken your heart.
00:38:08But embellishing your worth and who you are, it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:15You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:18After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills.
00:38:22I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:38:27That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity.
00:38:31You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:33I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right.
00:38:37Who actually deserves you.
00:38:39You will see tomorrow, grandma.
00:38:43Oh, yeah.
00:38:49You said Trixie's crashing at my wedding?
00:38:51She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:54She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:38:58When nobody steps on Snake, Snake bites back hard.
00:39:02So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:05Yeah.
00:39:06You mean...
00:39:09We broadcast that video of you?
00:39:14Yes.
00:39:15Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:39:18She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:22against my presidential glow up.
00:39:24Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:34There he is.
00:39:36Welcome home, brother.
00:39:38Welcome home, General!
00:39:42Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:47He served with your regiment in the Marines.
00:39:49You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:39:52Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:56So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her.
00:39:59Fucking coward.
00:40:00According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:40:04Then we should join her.
00:40:06Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my
00:40:11life.
00:40:11So she needs our support.
00:40:13Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:14Yes, sir!
00:40:15We will allow her to protect her, sir!
00:40:18Well, let's roll.
00:40:34Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:37Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:39Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the
00:40:43presidential contract allowing my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:51Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:54Wait, who?
00:40:54Stove.
00:40:55I just take you my last name.
00:40:57Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:41:00You are the secretary of the entire U.S.
00:41:02Health Department, but this is a partay after all.
00:41:05I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:12The U.S. President will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:41:17It's an honor.
00:41:18And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:41:23We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:26We'll let the wedding begin.
00:41:30Not so fast.
00:41:32The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:41:56You two really are a match made in hell.
00:41:59So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:02I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles.
00:42:05Who is she?
00:42:05Um, this is our, uh, entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:09Just watch.
00:42:13Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:14This isn't the homeless shelter you lost.
00:42:17I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
00:42:19You know, being this poor.
00:42:22Me, bum a meal.
00:42:24Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:28And what evidence do you have of that?
00:42:30Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:42:32I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:34Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:42:39And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:42Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me.
00:42:44She's like...
00:42:46See, everyone?
00:42:48Butch already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my
00:42:54wedding to suck up to me.
00:42:56This is what poor sad girls do.
00:42:58They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:43:03Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:04You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:09Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:16You, giving me the contract?
00:43:19You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:43:23So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
00:43:29dollar contract?
00:43:30We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:32And I saw potential in you.
00:43:34Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:43:36But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:40Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:43:43This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:45They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:48Damn right.
00:43:50You were too embarrassing for me.
00:43:53Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:55I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:43:58Bravo.
00:43:59Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:01Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:44:03Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:05She'll make her sup.
00:44:06Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:07She's a gold-dicking, blood-sucking leech.
00:44:10I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch.
00:44:17You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:44:21Okay, enough!
00:44:22You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:25Your moral posturing.
00:44:26But guess what?
00:44:28Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves.
00:44:32That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:35Because I've got the material goods.
00:44:37And you're just all empty talk.
00:44:39I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:44:41Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:44:45See this?
00:44:57Oh my god.
00:44:59Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:04The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:06No, absolutely not.
00:45:08I don't believe it.
00:45:10You all sound so scared already.
00:45:12Don't worry.
00:45:13This isn't that contract.
00:45:15It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:45:21See everyone?
00:45:22She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:24But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:45:26Look at her following orders.
00:45:27I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:45:30Like a good little, uh, peasant slave.
00:45:33That house is worth all her life savings.
00:45:39You want to, uh, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:52You must understand me.
00:45:54I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:45:57I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:05Bro!
00:46:07She's going cuckoo in the head.
00:46:08She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket-investing
00:46:12baddie.
00:46:13You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:16It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:18Uh, I-I know what this is.
00:46:21You've gotten delusional.
00:46:22And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some Prince Charming will
00:46:27scoop you into money forever?
00:46:28Well, that's not happening.
00:46:30Security!
00:46:31Lock the doors.
00:46:32This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:46:37This is where your dreams will die, bitch.
00:46:43We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:44She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:48Butch Tanner.
00:46:49Well, he's going to wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:46:52Let's go.
00:46:57You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:46:59I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:47:03Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:06General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:08You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:10He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:14You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:18So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:24No one here is going to believe you.
00:47:25If you really cured the incurable general, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:47:31And she's not.
00:47:32You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:35Show them, Butch.
00:47:41See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:44Trixie's just a reloading beggar.
00:47:49She won't leave me and Marissa alone, because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:53I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:56Sasa, she has a billion-dollar biomedical contract with the military.
00:48:01Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
00:48:06How despicable.
00:48:07She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:11Get out of here.
00:48:12No one wants to marry you.
00:48:13No free meals for the poor!
00:48:15Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:18This is high society.
00:48:19So you're either born on a silver spoon, or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:48:24Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
00:48:33I already have everything one can dream of, but I valued our friendship, Marissa, which is why I came here
00:48:39to give you a second chance.
00:48:40To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
00:48:43But no.
00:48:44You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:48:48Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:48:52And who knows if you've already started offering sexual services?
00:48:58Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:02My brother will never take you back.
00:49:04No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
00:49:07But make me happy?
00:49:09And I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:49:23How dare you hit my brother?
00:49:25I'm never letting you leave here alive.
00:49:28That's awesome.
00:49:29I need to do something.
00:49:30Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:32After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:49:38Oh, is that so?
00:49:40Security!
00:49:42Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
00:49:48or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:52I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:49:55Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:50:00Dream on!
00:50:02You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:50:06You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:09Enough!
00:50:10You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:16On the count of three!
00:50:18I think I quite like it here.
00:50:19Two!
00:50:31This wine is so delicious.
00:50:34One!
00:50:35Shoot!
00:50:38Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:50:48It's...
00:50:49It's...
00:50:59Who the hell is this?
00:51:04I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:05Did they hurt you?
00:51:07No, I'm fine.
00:51:09But, um, when did I become your future wife?
00:51:14You saved me, Trixie, remember?
00:51:17I'm a man of my word.
00:51:18They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
00:51:20Really, it was nothing.
00:51:23I saved you because you're a good man,
00:51:25not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:51:33I see what this is.
00:51:34You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:37Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
00:51:39Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:40She waited for you for three years.
00:51:42This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:51:47Virtue?
00:51:48Don't make me laugh.
00:51:50She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:52No man who, in a hundred-foot pole, would want to touch her.
00:51:56She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:52:03I see her in the Marines.
00:52:06I'm a major.
00:52:08You know, look, man.
00:52:09I know Trixie is like a, I don't know, like a seven now that she's all cleaned up,
00:52:14but don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:23A real man never talks about a woman that way.
00:52:27You're a coward.
00:52:38We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:52:42You're very gracious, Trixie.
00:52:44You know that?
00:52:47You're only getting off of it because she's so kind.
00:52:49So you're going to do me the favor of never coming near her again.
00:52:52You understand?
00:52:52You want to fuck with me, little dipshit?
00:52:54I'm a fucking major.
00:52:56You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:52:59I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:53:01Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:53:03I thought you were in the Marines.
00:53:05What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:09He was just a supply boy.
00:53:13War hero?
00:53:15Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:18Poor girl.
00:53:19Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:23A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:26Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:53:32A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:34What a pair.
00:53:36Seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:53:40Maybe we should try to pay some house some more, don't you think?
00:53:44Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:53What is all this?
00:53:55Trixie, listen.
00:53:55I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:53:59But I know that we shared a moment.
00:54:04I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:54:08It's not in my nature.
00:54:10Unlike somebody else here.
00:54:13Listen, Trixie.
00:54:14I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:20So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:23So I know that you're the one for me.
00:54:27This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:54:32Oscar worthy.
00:54:33Oscar worthy.
00:54:35No.
00:54:35First gift.
00:54:41Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:44So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:48Worth $500 million.
00:54:49Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:53Second gift.
00:54:57This contains all the rights to my entire fortune.
00:55:01Which is now yours.
00:55:03Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:05It must be that easy.
00:55:07They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:09They've got nothing left.
00:55:10Why, Sander, I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:14No, look, I know.
00:55:15I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:18Okay?
00:55:19Which is exactly why my third gift is, um...
00:55:23Well...
00:55:32Well...
00:55:39Cleo!
00:55:41Hey!
00:55:42Oh my god.
00:55:44You found my dog.
00:55:50Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:51But with you, it's so much more.
00:55:54Trixie Amore.
00:55:58Will you marry me?
00:56:02You know I can't say no to this doggo.
00:56:07Yes, I will marry you.
00:56:25Go, go, power couple.
00:56:28Woo!
00:56:29Okay, stop.
00:56:31The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:56:35Let's remind everyone how worth it's Trixie is.
00:56:39No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:56:44Hey.
00:56:45I don't care if she's homeless or not, but I'm making this woman my wife.
00:56:49Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on Earth.
00:56:54Understand?
00:56:59You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on Earth.
00:57:03This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:13As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:20Yes, the Armstrong family basically control the global stock market.
00:57:24Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the Princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:57:30I bet my life you're all just actors.
00:57:33Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:57:35Come on, Lysander.
00:57:36What are we waiting for?
00:57:37Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:57:39What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us, the elites?
00:57:42Infect us with your poor people bad luck.
00:57:45She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:57:48Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum.
00:57:52She's utterly unmarriable.
00:57:57I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:58:01I'd handle them myself, but...
00:58:05I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:58:07Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:15Yes, hello, this is Lysander.
00:58:17Please bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:21Oh my gosh, I'm so scared.
00:58:23Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:58:33Uh, hello?
00:58:35Yes.
00:58:37What?
00:58:43I'm going bankrupt!
00:58:46Hey, hey, hey.
00:58:54Are you sure that was the call, Sasu?
00:58:56That was a real call?
00:58:57People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:58:59My company's dead.
00:59:00It evaporated.
00:59:02It's in thin air.
00:59:06That's impossible.
00:59:07People, who are you?
00:59:09What did you do?
00:59:11Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:14And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:18Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:21Then that means you're really Lysander Armstrong, the richest and most powerful man in the country?
00:59:31Trixie's married.
00:59:33The famed war hero.
00:59:35The man every girl wants and every man wants to be.
00:59:39Now you believe me?
00:59:40Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
00:59:44There's got to be some trick to this.
00:59:46You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
00:59:49It's awesome.
00:59:51It's awesome.
00:59:52Please.
00:59:52Please.
00:59:58I know why you're all over Trixie.
01:00:00Because you've been in the military for so long.
01:00:02You don't know what a real woman can do for you.
01:00:05Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:11Do you want to hug your hands for me?
01:00:12Or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:14Ah!
01:00:15Ah!
01:00:16Ah!
01:00:18I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:24Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:00:29Sansa was just trying to save the company.
01:00:32I don't blame her at all.
01:00:33Your double standards are incredible.
01:00:35Okay, you don't want me?
01:00:37Fine.
01:00:38But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:00:39I can give you a room full of pageant winners, 18 years old, fresh for the taking.
01:00:52I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:00:55Thank you, Devin.
01:00:57Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé,
01:01:04but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:07You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:01:10No, to all of humanity.
01:01:12So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:19Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:23They're imposters.
01:01:24Woo!
01:01:28I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:32because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:01:35So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:38The goddess healer?
01:01:39You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:45Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:01:49The goddess healer's motto is, the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong bereft.
01:01:56That means she's rewarding me.
01:01:58The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:02:02In fact, she's on her way now.
01:02:06So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:12Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:13If the president and the goddess healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:19We can break his legs, break his arms.
01:02:21No one would even bat an eye.
01:02:22She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:26FBI!
01:02:28FBI!
01:02:29You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:02:34Gotcha.
01:02:39Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:02:42No, don't arrest her!
01:02:44Trixie's a good person!
01:02:46Please, officer, don't arrest her!
01:02:48Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Williams, what are you all doing here?
01:02:52The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch.
01:02:55We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:02:58Listen, officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:03:03She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:06Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition,
01:03:10Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out.
01:03:13She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:16My fiancee really is an incredible woman.
01:03:19She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:26You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:30My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:32He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:36Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:39And that's why it's twice the crime for stealing his identity.
01:03:43General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:03:47And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:03:52I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:56I promise I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:02If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:04:05But don't fuck with my fiancee.
01:04:07You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:08Let's go!
01:04:32Get him!
01:04:33If you can.
01:05:08If you want to arrest me, I'm going to arrest you.
01:05:25Is that enough pain?
01:05:26Or do you want more?
01:05:36Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:05:40Grandma.
01:05:42Meet my new fiancee.
01:05:46Wow, your new fiancee?
01:05:48He's so manly.
01:05:50Much better than your last one.
01:05:52I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:55It's Butch's loss.
01:05:57Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:05:59She's like a shining star in the sky and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:05Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:06:07I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, Sam?
01:06:10Drown out the poor!
01:06:11Drown out the poor!
01:06:13Drown out the poor!
01:06:14Drown out the poor!
01:06:16Drown out the poor!
01:06:17Drown out the poor!
01:06:19See, Trixie?
01:06:19You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:22You can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:26We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:28So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:33Let them eat cake!
01:06:44You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:46Grab what you can't, fam.
01:06:47Attack!
01:06:49Attack!
01:07:05You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:14What the fuck was that?
01:07:15I don't care what the fuck it was.
01:07:17I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding.
01:07:26Oh, damn it!
01:07:28Get up, get up.
01:07:30You forgot I had a gun, too?
01:07:32Haha, that'll teach you for messing with the Wigh-hams.
01:07:35Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:37We're quartered.
01:07:38I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:40Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:44I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:46They will be punished.
01:07:51Now hold still for me.
01:07:54Right.
01:07:55Ray rides the road.
01:08:06Holy fuck!
01:08:08Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:10By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:11She?
01:08:12The goddess healer?
01:08:17I'm all better now.
01:08:19Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:20See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:23No, please.
01:08:25I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:27Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:28Sure.
01:08:30You hear that?
01:08:31She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:08:34She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:37While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:41Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent, too.
01:08:46I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:49And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:52God?
01:08:53Wrong.
01:08:55But you're close.
01:08:56Oh, bullshit.
01:08:57I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:09:02You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:09:04Then let's see you try.
01:09:06Charge!
01:09:15The hell is this?
01:09:17This is the line between life and death.
01:09:21Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:24I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:29You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:31What if it's a trap?
01:09:32That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:34We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:35She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:38Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:41I will.
01:09:45Left leaves the wrong arrest.
01:09:54I'm fine.
01:09:55Nothing happened.
01:09:56You'll see soon enough.
01:09:58Oh, please.
01:09:59I really wanna die.
01:10:01And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:03I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:05Whoops.
01:10:06Just crossed it again.
01:10:08Whoops.
01:10:09And again.
01:10:10Nothing's happening.
01:10:12Stop.
01:10:13Stop.
01:10:15Stop.
01:10:18Stop.
01:10:22Stop.
01:10:23Stop.
01:10:23Stop.
01:10:23No, Bob.
01:10:24Hey.
01:10:25What did you do to my brother?
01:10:27I didn't do anything.
01:10:29Your brother just didn't wanna heed my warning.
01:10:32I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:34If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:37Come on.
01:10:39Major.
01:10:40Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:41How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:44See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:48Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:51Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:00You're so sore I wouldn't marry you.
01:11:02You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:03Oh, please.
01:11:04You hurt us first.
01:11:06At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:09But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:14Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:11:18You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:21You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:26When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:32Don't touch my wife.
01:11:36And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:41You can daydream all you want now, Trixie, but when the presidential contract arrives,
01:11:46it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:47That you're nothing but an ugly phony, and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:51Oh, really?
01:11:52Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:55You've got nothing on me.
01:12:01Yes.
01:12:02Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:08Goddess.
01:12:09Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:13Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:17Get the VP.
01:12:18We're leaving now.
01:12:22Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:26God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:29I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:32You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:34A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:37Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:39I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:41Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:45You hear that, everyone?
01:12:46There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:52She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:12:58No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:01Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:13:06Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:15Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:21and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:26Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:30I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:32You can only dream of what you can never have, while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:39Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:43It ain't working.
01:13:44You can't just fake the...
01:13:48Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:13:52It's like real magic.
01:13:53Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:13:58And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:06No.
01:14:07Trixie, look.
01:14:09I believe you.
01:14:10You saved me.
01:14:12Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:16No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:19We'll riot against you now.
01:14:21Tear her apart!
01:14:23Tear her apart!
01:14:24Tear her apart!
01:14:26Tear her apart!
01:14:28Tear her apart!
01:14:29The vice president arrives!
01:14:46Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:51You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:54Wait, what?
01:14:57He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:14:59No, no.
01:15:00We've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:03Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:04This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:15:10But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:14Yes, we all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:16What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:22And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:25The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:29And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:33So he is the general.
01:15:35Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:38Did you hear that?
01:15:39Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:43So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:46We got the VP and the president.
01:15:49On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:53I told you.
01:15:55Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:57This is treason!
01:15:58Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:16:06Hurry!
01:16:07The goddess healer needs us.
01:16:11You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:13My brother is a war hero.
01:16:15He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:18He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:20If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:22You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:25Not just your brother.
01:16:28Devin, it's okay.
01:16:31Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:34I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancée's life.
01:16:39And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:41I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:47I truly saved a good man.
01:16:54I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancée.
01:16:57And what can you do about it?
01:16:59Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:02My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:17:07Let's try it out on them.
01:17:10Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:17:12There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:13Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:16Despicable!
01:17:17What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:22Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:26Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:31Oh!
01:17:40Shit!
01:17:41Wait, that's the president.
01:17:54What the hell?
01:17:56Hey, idiots!
01:17:59Oh!
01:18:00Oh!
01:18:00Oh!
01:18:01Oh!
01:18:01Oh!
01:18:01Oh!
01:18:03Oh, my gosh!
01:18:05I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:18:07That was...
01:18:08They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:12What is this?
01:18:14Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:17This is a war crime.
01:18:19These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:21You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:23I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:24I have the presidential contract.
01:18:26With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:28And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:33What are you doing?
01:18:34Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late!
01:18:37That is easy.
01:18:39There's no need.
01:18:41I'll save everyone.
01:18:55It's raining gold!
01:18:59What's happening?
01:19:00Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:19:02It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:06She...
01:19:06She...
01:19:07She is...
01:19:08She is a criminal!
01:19:10Don't worry, Madam President.
01:19:11We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:13I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:15Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:18What are you talking about?
01:19:20The President literally came here to give me my billion-dollar contract.
01:19:32This contract?
01:19:34Yeah!
01:19:35Yes!
01:19:36Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:55My contract, you bitch!
01:19:57And that's not all.
01:20:10This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:13There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:16Don't you realize?
01:20:17Or are you too much of a goody-two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:21You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:24Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:26And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:29So prepare yourself.
01:20:30Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:33What are you going to do?
01:20:35The President is here, and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:42You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:45Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:48So what's your final decision?
01:20:52I'll...
01:20:52I'll...
01:20:53She's going to give me my billion-dollar...
01:21:00I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:04Ah!
01:21:06Ah, what?
01:21:07Why?
01:21:08Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:09You're supposed to be giving me the billion-dollar contract.
01:21:12You wish, idiot!
01:21:16I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:22I-I-I don't understand.
01:21:23I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the Goddess of Healing.
01:21:27Ah!
01:21:29And do you know the Goddess Healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:34You've really seen the Goddess Healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:39The one and only.
01:21:42And it's...
01:21:43Her.
01:21:56Whaaaaat!
01:22:00Welcome, Goddess.
01:22:07Yes.
01:22:09Uh, we, uh...
01:22:14You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:16How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:19Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:23I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person,
01:22:27help those in need,
01:22:28and make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:32No, so that means the billion-dollar contract,
01:22:35it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:37She took it away just like that.
01:22:41That was our golden ticket.
01:22:42You were once my fiancé and best friend,
01:22:45but after everything you've done,
01:22:47we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:49No, please, I swear to you.
01:22:51I didn't know you were an actual saint.
01:22:55It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:57Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:22:58She's an amazing person.
01:23:00And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:04She's gonna be my wife.
01:23:05Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:14I love you.
01:23:26I love you.
01:23:31I love you.
01:23:34I love you.
01:23:38You were the one that came on to me, you himbo.
01:23:42Please, Tracy, give me another chance.
01:23:46I want to be rich again.
01:23:48I'll be your slave.
01:23:49Kiss the ground you walk on.
01:23:51You've had your chance to apologize, but it's too late now.
01:23:55All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:00You two should be locked up.
01:24:02And she shall.
01:24:03For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:24:06arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:09It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:11I never loved you.
01:24:12It's your fault.
01:24:13I was only with you for your money.
01:24:15I don't care.
01:24:16You were rich.
01:24:18I'll send yourself out.
01:24:20Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:22We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:25My platform is spreading kindness just like you.
01:24:29I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:31That is why I saved you.
01:24:33With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:40Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:45Let's party!
01:24:47Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:49Right now?
01:24:50Yes.
01:24:51Well.
01:24:52Woo!
01:24:54Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:24:59I do.
01:25:00I do.
01:25:01You may kiss the bride.
01:25:04You may kiss the bride.
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