- 13 hours ago
Big Mood S02E01-3 [Full Movie] [Vertical Drama]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:27Back
00:00:30My beautiful sane daughter
00:00:33I literally never have to worry about you
00:00:36That's nice, mum
00:00:37Yeah, we call you the sane one now
00:00:40As you should
00:00:41Excuse me, I just need to take this
00:00:45Yeah, hello?
00:00:47Mm-hmm
00:00:47Okay, bye-bye
00:00:49Is this a bad time?
00:00:52Apologies, the government just needed to run some budgets to have passed a very sane person
00:00:56God, I'm lucky to have someone so wildly sane as a client
00:01:01Okay
00:01:05My baby
00:01:07What's that?
00:01:10I need you to help me
00:01:12Hello?
00:01:14I need you to help me
00:01:16Eddie?
00:01:18What's going on?
00:01:19Can I borrow your white noise machine?
00:01:21What?
00:01:22Please?
00:01:25Are you Ryan?
00:01:28It's 4am!
00:01:30My room sounds like ghosts
00:01:31Get out!
00:01:33For God's sake!
00:01:49So we built the mountain
00:01:51By digging out a mighty hole
00:01:54And all our facts we carried every rock and stone
00:02:01But now the holes be put
00:02:03Than anybody ever planned
00:02:05But there are tips
00:02:07I'll hang it on
00:02:10So we say to
00:02:12But I can't do this evil on my own
00:02:14I haven't wrapped the house in nearly 30,000
00:02:16Call director
00:02:19Is this too early?
00:02:20Early?
00:02:21I'm up at 6am every day in case someone's died in the night
00:02:23Wow
00:02:24They do say mental illness is hereditary
00:02:26I don't
00:02:27You slept anyway
00:02:28I hate that you're so far away
00:02:30Okay, I'm in Surrey
00:02:31Bad enough when you move back to your flat
00:02:33Look, I am fine, Mum
00:02:35I'm in my stable girl era
00:02:37I'm on medication that isn't trying to kill me
00:02:39I use retinol and HelloFresh
00:02:41I am a bridesmaid in a posh wedding, for God's sake
00:02:43Has anyone heard from Eddie?
00:02:45She come in?
00:02:46She's
00:02:48No, there's no way
00:02:49It's been a year
00:02:50She didn't even RSVP, which
00:02:52I'm not even thinking about that, Mum
00:02:54Just stop worrying, okay?
00:02:55I'm allowed to be worried, Maggie
00:02:56It is your first time leaving town since the lithium poisoning
00:03:02I said it's your first time leaving town since the lithium
00:03:04Look, I heard you, Mum
00:03:05Just
00:03:06I need to get going, okay?
00:03:07What on earth does this maid of honor need you so early for?
00:03:10I don't know
00:03:10Rise maid stuff
00:03:12Filming awkward TikToks and matching satin pyjamas
00:03:14And telling someone her skin looks clear
00:03:19I am a normal person
00:03:22Normal? Who wants to be normal?
00:03:24I do
00:03:25Well, if you get overwhelmed or feel bad in any way, just call me
00:03:29I won't, Mum
00:03:29This is going to be a nice, easy chill
00:03:32This is not one of your kooky, hackneyed town hall weddings
00:03:36Where the bride wears a jumpsuit and drinks lager from a can
00:03:40This is the home counties
00:03:43We take this seriously
00:03:44I have barely slept
00:03:46Mercury cried all night
00:03:48No, did he?
00:03:50Simone has had a complicated reaction to her premarital juice cleanse
00:03:56I will never forgive Heat Magazine for what it did to us
00:03:58So, to avoid my brother saying I do to a woman wearing an adult nappy
00:04:02I will be busy trying to plug the leak, as it were
00:04:08Yes, those were Simone's choices
00:04:10I suppose she wanted her culture represented, too
00:04:13Please wear them so as to differentiate yourselves from the staff
00:04:19Um, Flopsy, is it?
00:04:21Um, why, um, why does my sash say this?
00:04:27My reputation as a maid of honour
00:04:30A role I take extremely seriously
00:04:32Is immaculate
00:04:33I am in constant demand
00:04:35And this is my brother's wedding
00:04:37My favourite brother, the only brother that isn't balding
00:04:39And as, from what I understand
00:04:41You have a bit of a reputation as somewhat of a loose cannon
00:04:45I think this would be a better fit
00:04:49Off you, Bob
00:04:51Now, I have written down your bridesmaid's tasks
00:04:55In extremely simple terms
00:04:58So, I am assuming there are no questions
00:05:02I left Simone lying face down in an antique chamber pot
00:05:05So I ought to...
00:05:06Uh, what does train the swans mean?
00:05:08Is assist Jessie Ware slowing for something?
00:05:10I have not heard a thing from the fourth bridesmaid
00:05:12Has anyone had contact with her?
00:05:14She's ignored all communications
00:05:18Uh, no, no
00:05:20She... she won't be coming
00:05:28And if I see anyone vaping
00:05:30They will be fined
00:05:36I cannot wait for my bridesmaid years to be over
00:05:40What was Aldi Pippa Middleton saying to you?
00:05:42Nothing
00:05:43It's grand
00:05:43Anyways, we only have to see with her for one day
00:05:45The moment has done worse for us
00:05:47Like when she sucked off storms in his weird old rudies to get us back staying
00:05:49Oh, exactly
00:05:50Well, strapping fuckers because things are about to get worse
00:05:52Worse than unpaid labour
00:05:53Do you remember Simone's ex?
00:05:54Jack
00:05:56Jack Pearl
00:05:56One who couldn't stop telling us that he once played pool with Amy Winehouse
00:05:59Oh, he was awful
00:06:01He used to sniff out a guitar at a house party like an indie bloodhound
00:06:04Yeah, where he threatened to turn up and ruin the wedding
00:06:06Oh, for fuck's sake
00:06:07Hot girls are meant to marry Rich, is there right?
00:06:09He wouldn't really turn up here
00:06:10Simone seems to think he might
00:06:11He has previous
00:06:12After she got engaged, she tried to break into her house
00:06:15It is wild that we just let straight men run loose
00:06:17Yeah
00:06:18So we need to keep an eye out
00:06:20For what?
00:06:20A trilby?
00:06:21The opening corridor can't stand me now?
00:06:23I've got popstar to wrangle
00:06:25Yeah, well I've got gargoyle's wax
00:06:29No one said this right on shit was easy
00:06:32No one said this right on semanas
00:06:33No one said this right there
00:06:55Oh...
00:06:57Oh...
00:06:58Oh...
00:06:59Oh...
00:06:59Oh...
00:07:00Oh...
00:07:00Oh...
00:07:00Oh...
00:07:06Oh, my God. Sorry. I just, it suckered onto me and I could feel it's like monster tongue.
00:07:11There I was, thinking I'd given you the simplest tasks there were.
00:07:16I could do it. I just, once I get these gloves on, I will be de-leaching at speeds never
00:07:21seen before.
00:07:22See that you are.
00:07:22Um, if I do everything on my list, which I will, could I have a normal bridesmaid?
00:07:34Perhaps.
00:07:38Oh, sorry.
00:07:50Oh.
00:08:06I'm sure I saw someone in the penis room. When I looked at her, there was nothing there.
00:08:12What happened to you?
00:08:14The salons have a very aggressive communication style. We're working through it.
00:08:17I take the salons over Jessie Ware any day. She is insane.
00:08:20I found her in the kitchen, neck and cooking, Sherry. And when I tried to grab it off there, she
00:08:24called me a slur.
00:08:25She called you a little bitch.
00:08:26And I consider that a slur.
00:08:27What's with the meat, huh?
00:08:29Oh, I was just, I'm beating the altar boys. Listen.
00:08:32I have a weird feeling that someone is like, here, watching us.
00:08:37Yes!
00:08:39I mean, we're like, a pearl has entered the oyster.
00:08:44Jack pearl.
00:08:46So we should split off.
00:08:47Distracting everybody else now, are we?
00:08:50No, no, no, no, no, no, don't worry. I put all the meat in the boys.
00:08:54I meant, um...
00:08:55I need you to put your bridesmaid's dresses on and meet me in the main hall as quickly as possible.
00:09:00If you can manage that.
00:09:03Yes.
00:09:06Off you go.
00:09:09God, who pissed on her, Raga?
00:09:10Just do what she says. I'll be going to hunt for Jack pearl later.
00:09:14If she's dressed as a sheer or something, I am going to shank Simone.
00:09:17I'll be box-standard, pastel-sat-and-bay. Don't worry.
00:09:24Ryan, your tabard is unacceptable.
00:09:26Okay, well, um, first off, what the fuck is a tabard?
00:09:30So we're actually wearing these.
00:09:33World War I nurses' uniforms.
00:09:35Is that a problem?
00:09:36God, no, no, no, no, no, no. I love war.
00:09:39Yeah, it just seems like a weird tradition, even by the aristocracy standards.
00:09:44Sister Peggy Beale saved my grandfather's life off the Battle of Cambrai.
00:09:52Trampled by a horse, poor fellow.
00:09:55Crushed his skull to smithereens.
00:09:58Somehow he pulled through.
00:10:00A thanks to Sister Peggy, who tended to him day and night.
00:10:05Upon his return home, he did two things.
00:10:11First, he vowed to honour Sister Peggy at every family wedding from that day forth.
00:10:22And the second thing.
00:10:24He stabbed every horse in the stable to death.
00:10:26Wow.
00:10:28Wow.
00:10:29Wow.
00:10:30Wow.
00:10:30What an honour to represent the, um, British army in this way.
00:10:38I mean, I'm Irish, of course.
00:10:40But you can't help but respect the empire.
00:10:44To ignore, like, 90% of the history and focus on things like the tea and the fun uniforms and
00:10:49what.
00:11:09Good nurse, what would grandfather say about you?
00:11:13Okay, Uncle Albert, let's, uh, get you back to the rest of the family.
00:11:17We've actually been looking for a few hours.
00:11:24Eddie.
00:11:27Are you wearing a bindi?
00:11:29I had no idea you were coming.
00:11:31Yeah, it was kind of a last-minute decision.
00:11:33Huh.
00:11:35Okay, um, hug me then, bitch.
00:11:42Oh, I had no idea.
00:11:44Why would you?
00:11:45Where the fuck have you been?
00:11:47California, mostly.
00:11:48Oh.
00:11:49So somewhere that definitely does have Wi-Fi, then?
00:11:51Turns out there's more to life than social media.
00:11:58I'd love it if we could talk.
00:12:01One-on-one.
00:12:02That's kind of why I came.
00:12:03Oh, I mean, yeah, yeah, of course.
00:12:06Right.
00:12:07Now that our fourth bridesmaid has finally arrived, Eddie, is it?
00:12:12I'm putting you in charge of making sure the chapel is ready to go.
00:12:15The rest of you back to your time.
00:12:16Oh, actually, Flopsy, I've done all mine.
00:12:20You've moistened the taxidermy?
00:12:22Yeah.
00:12:22You've cut the Nazis out of the portraits?
00:12:24Yeah, yeah, that one took a while, but, um...
00:12:27Oh.
00:12:28I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised.
00:12:31So?
00:12:33The sash.
00:12:34Oh, yes.
00:12:37This is for you.
00:12:39It's from Simone, hence the quality of the fabric.
00:12:42No, no, no, I'm...
00:12:43It's too close.
00:12:44Sorry.
00:12:46Um...
00:12:47You said if I...
00:12:49If I finish all my tasks, I could have a normal sash.
00:12:53Oh.
00:12:55I'm not sure that's quite what I said.
00:12:58Why don't we see how you do during the ceremony?
00:13:00If we can avoid any big scenes, then we'll see...
00:13:03Flopsy, we need you.
00:13:04The flowers are pink.
00:13:06The flowers are what?
00:13:08If that florist thinks she'll work in Surrey again, she has another thing coming.
00:13:11First the ribbon debacle, and now this.
00:13:13I'm...
00:13:21So, could you show me to this chapel?
00:13:39It's nice.
00:13:42Well, it's haunted.
00:13:46But, like, according to Ryan.
00:13:48Ryan thinks the Dolphin McDonald's is haunted.
00:13:53So...
00:13:55How have you been?
00:13:58I'm sorry, I haven't reached out.
00:14:01I needed time to think about everything, but...
00:14:07Also about us.
00:14:12Look, this might be hard to hear, but...
00:14:24I need you to attack the man that's behind those flowers.
00:14:40I have a weapon!
00:14:41Oh, God, not Jack Pearl.
00:14:44That's plastic, by the way.
00:14:46I am here to object to this wedding like it's Shrek.
00:14:49Oh, you are not the Shrek.
00:14:50You are the...
00:14:51Fuck what?
00:14:52Are you seriously going to ruin Simone's wedding just because she wants me the poor choice to go out with
00:14:56you?
00:14:57Go out with me?
00:14:58We're married!
00:15:00Yeah, didn't know that part, did you?
00:15:02Got married in Vegas.
00:15:03Simone thought it didn't count because she was wearing a bikini at the time, but it did!
00:15:07So I'm here as a lawfully wedded husband to stand up against bigamy!
00:15:12Ow!
00:15:12Get off!
00:15:13Don't touch me!
00:15:14I've got the law on myself!
00:15:16Have you always been done as you two?
00:15:17Shut up!
00:15:18Could you not have just sent her a text?
00:15:20She blocked me.
00:15:21Can you believe that?
00:15:23Like, we was partners.
00:15:25Yeah?
00:15:25And now, it's like, we're strangers.
00:15:28You know?
00:15:29I know.
00:15:31It's hard to be the one that's still in love.
00:15:36Yuck.
00:15:36I don't love her.
00:15:37I just want a hundred grand to stay quiet.
00:15:39Oh, you are such a fucking fuckwars!
00:15:42What was that?
00:15:43Swanwhip!
00:15:44Guys, kick off us in 20.
00:15:45We need to get them out of here.
00:15:46Anya, I assume you brought the birds?
00:15:48They've accepted me as their leader.
00:15:50Good.
00:15:51I think they might be able to help.
00:15:56You can't do this to me!
00:15:57My cousin knows Rob Rinder!
00:15:59Now what?
00:16:00We can't leave him up there on his own.
00:16:01Help!
00:16:02Help me!
00:16:03I've been kidnapped by riches!
00:16:12Oh, God.
00:16:14Flopsy's asking where we are.
00:16:15Um, just in the attic, babe.
00:16:17No!
00:16:18Why would you tell her that?
00:16:19Do not say that!
00:16:20Zoda did.
00:16:20My thumbs have millennial smartphone muscle memory.
00:16:23Oh, God.
00:16:24She can hear them only.
00:16:25Okay, okay.
00:16:26Just, um, just let me think.
00:16:27She's coming up, babe.
00:16:27Oh, she can't.
00:16:28Stop her!
00:16:29Oh, my God, how?
00:16:29Sit, tell her!
00:16:30I'm just giving birth!
00:16:31There's no baby!
00:16:32Hang on, I can try!
00:16:33I've got a call.
00:16:34She's so fucked up.
00:16:34Tell her, it's me.
00:16:37The noisest, tell her I've had, like, an episode.
00:16:39No!
00:16:40I mean, I can stay up here with Jack so we can't escape.
00:16:42The rest of you can go be bridesmaids.
00:16:43No, Megs.
00:16:44If someone needs to stay, I'll do it.
00:16:46Straight wedding is a boring as fuck anyway.
00:16:47No, it has to be me.
00:16:49Flopsy won't believe it's anyone else.
00:16:50It's her only choice.
00:16:52Just go!
00:16:55The bells?
00:16:57The bells!
00:16:58The bells!
00:17:28The bells!
00:17:47You're too small to subdue him.
00:17:50Never had any complaints.
00:18:02so
00:18:05do you want to have that talk
00:18:10not now
00:18:12let's just watch the wedding
00:18:32oh
00:18:34oh
00:18:53Oh my God, Maggie, are you feeling better?
00:18:55Yeah, all good, thank you.
00:19:00Done?
00:19:02Yep.
00:19:03Owen's got him trussed up in an out-of-service loom.
00:19:05I'm not sure what he's going to do with him exactly.
00:19:07No, he'll be fine.
00:19:08He's done this sort of thing before.
00:19:17Fuck Flopsy, man.
00:19:18She's got a rabbit's name.
00:19:20I can't believe we missed the food.
00:19:21Dude, I am starving.
00:19:22Will we go pillage a pantry?
00:19:24We've always wanted to see a pantry.
00:19:26Well, then we must.
00:19:30Hurry up, for the servants to see all the leftovers.
00:19:32We are the servants.
00:19:36Not to brag, but I will find a kitchen using only my nose.
00:19:39Yeah, I believe it.
00:19:40Eddie, finally!
00:19:45Oh, I'm sorry.
00:19:47I'm so late.
00:19:48I got lost finding our new apartment.
00:19:49I ended up somewhere called Tottingham, and this guy with no teeth, he tried to sell me
00:19:55a horse.
00:20:00Oh, I'm sorry.
00:20:01This is my friend.
00:20:02Hi.
00:20:03I'm Whitney.
00:20:04Whitney, you must be Maggie.
00:20:08I must be, yeah.
00:20:10God, I bet I look a mess.
00:20:12I literally grabbed whatever was at the top of my suitcase and ran.
00:20:16No, no, you look stunning.
00:20:19Oh, thank you.
00:20:26Drinkies?
00:20:27Let's do it.
00:20:31Well, yeah.
00:20:33Yeah.
00:20:34Why are you dressed like Florence Nightingale?
00:20:37I could be a millionaire
00:20:39If I had the money
00:20:42I could only imagine
00:20:43So, has it been awful?
00:20:46No, not awful.
00:20:50Did you tell her?
00:20:52I was going to, but then there was this whole mad drama
00:20:55Yeah, it's okay.
00:20:57It's okay.
00:20:58I'm here now.
00:21:00I'm gonna help.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:03And you'll feel so much better once you sit her down and say,
00:21:07I'm sorry, but I cannot have you in my life anymore.
00:21:12I'm gonna do it.
00:21:15Soon.
00:21:21Just not tonight.
00:21:28Cheer up, little boy.
00:21:31Today is a wonderful day.
00:21:39Mercury?
00:21:40Do we need another tetanus jab?
00:21:47Would anyone like a ginseng gummy?
00:21:51What?
00:21:52It'll really help regulate your energy levels.
00:21:55Yeah.
00:21:57I mean, I've also got
00:22:00Echinacea
00:22:01Milk Thistle
00:22:03Ginger Chews?
00:22:04Yeah, or I've got
00:22:07Like expired femme fresh wipes
00:22:10No?
00:22:11Fine.
00:22:13I'm gonna go and chew
00:22:17For a black hat
00:22:28Hey
00:22:29If you're worried about vaginal odour
00:22:32I can send you a link to an amethyst suppository
00:22:35My friend Wave sells
00:22:36I mean, it'll really help
00:22:38So it's amethyst suppository?
00:22:41So like a stone
00:22:44Tampon
00:22:48Sorry, it does sound a bit medieval
00:22:52Yeah
00:22:54Yeah, I guess it does
00:22:58But it has helped a lot of women
00:23:01I actually did a series of videos
00:23:03On the Vagina Earth Connection
00:23:05Oh, okay
00:23:06You're a filmmaker
00:23:07No
00:23:08No, God
00:23:09No, I don't even own the television
00:23:11No
00:23:11I'm a light worker
00:23:13But I primarily produce content for social media
00:23:16I just found that that's the best way to reach people
00:23:18And connect with souls all around the world
00:23:22Is that Eddie fucking Rushton?
00:23:24Oh, my God
00:23:25Tony
00:23:28A non-progression wieners
00:23:29Oh, my God
00:23:30Bye, I won't get one
00:23:32Where the piss have you two been?
00:23:34I've been haggless at Superstore for months
00:23:36Hi
00:23:36I'm Whitney
00:23:38Congratulations
00:23:39Sorry, Whitney
00:23:40This is Tony
00:23:40Tony and Guy
00:23:42Drag queen to both the stars and the gutter
00:23:45How are you, babe?
00:23:47I heard you got mercury poisoning
00:23:48Did you eat too much tuna?
00:23:49No, not mercury, not lithium poisoning
00:23:51You ate batteries?
00:23:53What have you been up to?
00:23:54Down the drag mines, as ever
00:23:56I actually had this last-minute gig coming for tonight
00:23:58I'd usually tell them to fuck off
00:24:00You don't say no to Barbie and Skipper, do you?
00:24:02Wait, what did you just say?
00:24:04Barbie and Skipper?
00:24:05Oh, my God
00:24:07What?
00:24:07I have a secret show at Peg
00:24:09It's gonna be epic
00:24:11Barbie and Skipper, like the dolls?
00:24:13They're drag queens
00:24:14But, like, so much more
00:24:15Yeah, yeah, yeah
00:24:15They've got a podcast of books
00:24:16And YouTube series that we used to watch on repeat
00:24:18Oh, no, I still do
00:24:18I still do
00:24:19We always said if they ever came to London
00:24:20But they never have
00:24:21Because Skipper
00:24:21It's the accent
00:24:22Oh, my God
00:24:23Please, get us together
00:24:24Please
00:24:24We have one of the stuff for a year
00:24:25Please
00:24:26Babe, do you have any idea
00:24:27How many fit men I have in my DMs right now
00:24:29Asking me the same thing?
00:24:31No offence
00:24:31But I'm not gonna pick the straight girls
00:24:33Straight-ish
00:24:34Come on, Tony
00:24:34We'll do anything
00:24:35I never made you settle your wet mouth tab
00:24:37Hmm
00:24:40Okay, look
00:24:41I need this wig
00:24:42My friend Cher's been styling for me
00:24:43But she's being a bitch
00:24:44And refusing to give me it
00:24:45We can get your wig
00:24:46We can
00:24:51Oh, God, sorry
00:24:52I just totally disrupted your flow
00:24:55God, what a loser
00:24:57Oh, I'm sorry
00:24:58We're, um
00:25:00We're being a bit
00:25:01It's just
00:25:01This is kind of a dream of mine
00:25:04An old dream, but
00:25:06But we have to honour our old dreams
00:25:08To make space for new ones
00:25:10That's beautiful, though
00:25:12I know we had other plans today
00:25:13And I was gonna start looking for a job
00:25:14No, listen
00:25:16The only plan that matters
00:25:17Is the universe's
00:25:20He said that's the address
00:25:22All right
00:25:23Watch out, though
00:25:24Cher can be
00:25:25How you say
00:25:26A cunt
00:25:29I'll need it by eight
00:25:30If you're not there
00:25:31I'll fish you down
00:25:33Good luck with ours
00:25:34You'll have to uncreemate them first
00:25:37Oh, it's your dad's
00:25:38Yeah
00:25:39Yeah
00:25:40Yeah
00:25:40He passed when I was 12
00:25:43It's actually how we first connected
00:25:47Oh, that's so lovely
00:25:52Are you sure we can't just get the tube?
00:25:53This place is in, like, zone 10
00:25:55I didn't even know it existed
00:25:56Uber, then
00:25:57You said it'll be 80 quid
00:25:57That's mad
00:25:58We'll keep the spare car key
00:25:59And this stupid key safe for us
00:26:01We don't even need to knock on the door
00:26:02Well, you don't want to give him a heads up
00:26:04Just in case he thinks it's been stolen
00:26:06Like, like, stolen by a stranger
00:26:07Rather than a close friend
00:26:08He won't care
00:26:10Oh
00:26:19So
00:26:22You are a light worker
00:26:24I am
00:26:24Which is what?
00:26:25Sorry, I don't
00:26:26Oh, yeah
00:26:28It basically means that I have been put on this earth
00:26:31To spread light and eradicate darkness
00:26:33Oh, well, okay
00:26:36Like Batman
00:26:37No
00:26:38He's changed the code
00:26:40Shit, I thought this was a slam dunk
00:26:41Okay, well, this is how Patrick Swayze does it in Dirty Dancing
00:26:45So we're just gonna
00:26:46This through here
00:26:48Yes
00:26:49Okay
00:26:52I'm okay, it's just
00:26:54Okay
00:26:57Alright
00:26:59Um, just, like, shield your eyes and I'll
00:27:02What are you doing?
00:27:03Hey, violence is never the answer, Maggie
00:27:06No, it's not violence if it's against her, is it?
00:27:08It's just like
00:27:10Oh, I didn't even smash anything
00:27:12Excuse me
00:27:12I'm afraid I have a one
00:27:19I would love it if that could stop
00:27:21Oh
00:27:22Sorry
00:27:24Oh
00:27:26You're
00:27:27You're back
00:27:28Only just
00:27:28Yesterday, actually
00:27:30I've been emailing you for a year
00:27:32No
00:27:32I'm off grid
00:27:33Out of the matrix
00:27:34You don't have a phone?
00:27:36No
00:27:37Oh, well, I thought it was very, um, Amish chic of you
00:27:41It's not Amish to disengage from something that's literally killing people
00:27:44Phones are killing people
00:27:45They're worse for you than smoking
00:27:47Hi
00:27:48I'm Whitney
00:27:49And you
00:27:51Must be Will
00:27:52Sorry, just back to the phone thing again
00:27:55You have a phone
00:27:56To serve my higher purpose of spreading light via social media
00:28:00Otherwise, you know, I would throw this thing into the ocean
00:28:03Trust me
00:28:05Sorry
00:28:06Were you breaking into my car?
00:28:08Can we borrow it?
00:28:09Just for the afternoon?
00:28:12Of course
00:28:13Yeah
00:28:14Sure
00:28:25I'd love it if we could talk
00:28:27Maybe when you, uh, pick out the car
00:28:40So we all hate Will now, then?
00:28:42I don't hate anybody
00:28:43Hate is a poison
00:28:44I mean, the friction between the old and the new can often feel uncomfortable
00:28:48Well, then, maybe the new should smooth itself out a bit
00:28:51To liberty or Jehovah's
00:28:52What?
00:28:53Because I'm one of the two Jehovah's up here this week
00:28:55And I'm not being funny or not, but I don't think I'm for you
00:28:58No, no, no, no, we're afraid of Tony's
00:29:00Tony and I, we came here to get her wig
00:29:04Maybe she's coming down
00:29:07Uh, Cher, sorry, we're actually in a bit of a hurry, so if you could just...
00:29:10If you think it can intimidate me, you're fucking wrong
00:29:13I've got a taser in here that because it's 3D printed, and I know how to use it
00:29:19Stop drawing hairpins and just give us the wig
00:29:21Yeah, did Tony tell you?
00:29:23She's being shagging me stepdad
00:29:24She's torn my family apart
00:29:26My mother's had to go impatient
00:29:29That's almost impossible to defend
00:29:31Maybe if I try and talk to her one-on-one, I'd...
00:29:33All right, I'd be happy to try
00:29:35Um, no offense, Whitney, but I think you might be a bit too...
00:29:38American, for someone like Cher
00:29:40Well, Whitney should go, she's always so calm in the face of chaos
00:29:43Okay, well, let's probably throw a hairdryer, aren't you, but...
00:29:45Cher, my name's Whitney, and I'm a lightworker specializing in interpersonal relationships
00:29:52May I come in?
00:29:59What's that?
00:30:07So, uh, you were saying earlier you were looking for a job
00:30:09What about your, um, wet mouth money?
00:30:11I can't live off that forever
00:30:13Besides, I need to save that for...
00:30:16I need to save that money
00:30:19And is Whitney looking for a job, or...
00:30:21Does she make money off TikTok, or...
00:30:23I knew you'd hate her
00:30:24No, I just...
00:30:25Look, I know, she's kooky and different to you
00:30:28And she might use words that you think are stupid
00:30:30But Whitney has helped me so much
00:30:34When we met, I, uh...
00:30:36I was in a really dark place
00:30:40I was sat on a beach in Malibu, and I...
00:30:48I'm lucky to have found her
00:30:50We've basically spent every day together since
00:30:53Well, then, I'm excited to get to know her better
00:30:57Hold on
00:30:59She's boxing up the wig for us
00:31:01Oh, amazing
00:31:02So, once we're back at the apartment
00:31:03I just need to start the staging process straight away
00:31:06Thanks, uh...
00:31:07And sorry about your mum
00:31:09Whitney's right
00:31:10I need to let her go
00:31:12Wow
00:31:12And Whitney, you are just...
00:31:14So...
00:31:15Impressive
00:31:16Personally, if Tony had called me a cunt
00:31:18I would struggle to get past that
00:31:19But...
00:31:19With the power of light
00:31:20I guess anything is possible, so
00:31:23What?
00:31:23Oh, I'm...
00:31:24I'm so excited, Whitney, not saying
00:31:25Would I?
00:31:27That's step, that shogging rat
00:31:29Want the gumption to call me?
00:31:31A cornchair
00:31:31Remember the grounding exercise I taught you?
00:31:34Oh, no, no, no, no, no
00:31:36We don't need to be...
00:31:37We don't...
00:31:38Oh, that may put on the grill
00:31:39No, Cher
00:31:40First of all.
00:31:41No, not less
00:31:42Okay, put the lighter down
00:31:43Cher
00:31:43Oh, no, no, no, no
00:31:46Cher
00:31:47Oh, God
00:31:48No
00:31:48Oh, God
00:31:49Have some of that
00:32:04Crazy to talk
00:32:11I'm so sorry
00:32:12You guys
00:32:15I just assumed Whitney to share the full truth
00:32:18So
00:32:20I'm such an idiot
00:32:21So no Barbie and Skipper
00:32:27I'll get us in
00:32:29How?
00:32:30Those stickers are like gold dust
00:32:31It's prints at the roundhouse all over again
00:32:33Yeah
00:32:34I've many options
00:32:37But um
00:32:38First I should probably just call my agent
00:32:41Vanessa
00:32:42You still with her?
00:32:43Oh right
00:32:44Yeah after that dinner party
00:32:46Eddie told me all about it
00:32:49Yeah no things are great
00:32:50Well there's actually
00:32:51My new play has been shortlisted for an award
00:32:53So
00:32:53Really?
00:32:54Like a big one?
00:32:56Yeah I'm like the biggest
00:32:58Actually I've never even longlisted before
00:33:00So
00:33:02Congratulations
00:33:03Thanks
00:33:05I have to let me just
00:33:10Hello?
00:33:11Maggie
00:33:13I'm sorry but this graveyard has terrible reception
00:33:15Vanessa hi
00:33:16Um
00:33:17I'm just wondering if you could help me out
00:33:18I'm trying to get tickets to this thing tonight
00:33:20Okay
00:33:20Yeah um
00:33:21It's a drag show
00:33:23And um
00:33:27I don't know if you know anyone who works in that area
00:33:29Or
00:33:33Sorry Maggie I couldn't hear you
00:33:34There are people nearby grieving loudly
00:33:36Did you say a drag show?
00:33:38Like a gay thing?
00:33:39Yes very gay
00:33:41Rupert could probably help
00:33:42Rupert
00:33:43Rupert Everett
00:33:44He's an old friend
00:33:45He'll be at the Mandalay Club from 6 if you want to go and ask him
00:33:48He doesn't take calls
00:33:49Yeah yeah I know it well
00:33:51I'd come with you
00:33:52But Hilary Mantle snuck a clause into her contract
00:33:55That I had to polish her gravestone once a month after her death
00:33:57I'll send you the address
00:33:59Oh well thank you so much
00:34:00Vanessa
00:34:04Done and done
00:34:06We just need to go and schmooze Rupert Everett
00:34:08And we'll be all gravy
00:34:09Rupert Everett?
00:34:10Cool
00:34:11That is cool
00:34:13We can go get changed at Mind
00:34:14And then head over to the Mandalay Club
00:34:15Oh
00:34:16We actually should go back to our apartment
00:34:19Because we kind of need to get settled
00:34:21And like freshen up
00:34:23That is true
00:34:24But we could meet you at this
00:34:26Peg place later
00:34:28Right Mae?
00:34:30And you don't need us
00:34:31Do you?
00:34:32Of course
00:34:32I'll have the Rupert
00:34:37Oh sorry
00:34:42Guess who back in the house
00:34:44Heels quick clacking about
00:34:45Fine fresh remnants down to 11 underbinds
00:34:48Oh heavenly gentlemen
00:34:48Right lips down
00:34:49Cross the board no doubt
00:34:50Body like wow
00:34:51So you're about to get in this drought
00:34:53Teddy's so beautiful
00:34:53Miss your queen
00:34:54Jezebel should be criminal
00:34:55Don't make sense for a bitch
00:34:57Give me this shit now
00:34:58Right to the side
00:34:59What is that the same?
00:34:59Ah well hi
00:35:01I'm Maggie Donovan
00:35:13Oh okay thanks
00:35:15I am all set
00:35:17Ah that'll be Maggie
00:35:19Thank goodness you're here
00:35:21Oh there I am
00:35:22Darling Dave arrived
00:35:23Ah
00:35:26You must be Maggie
00:35:29You know
00:35:30Vanessa said she was sending you over
00:35:32I thought finally
00:35:34Somebody cares about me
00:35:40Now
00:35:40You're a little bit
00:35:42Little though
00:35:44I need to get a French maid's uniform
00:35:46Allsort
00:35:47Don't start with that
00:35:48I would exqueeze me darling
00:35:50For trying to inject some glamour
00:35:52Into the proceedings
00:35:53Darling behave
00:35:54This is your third assistant this month
00:35:56What?
00:35:56No
00:35:56No
00:35:56Sorry
00:35:57No no
00:35:58I'm actually a playwright
00:36:00Oh yes darling
00:36:01That's what they all say
00:36:02The last one didn't like the costume either
00:36:03You know
00:36:05You just can't get the star
00:36:07No no
00:36:08Seriously no
00:36:09I'm just here to see if you can help me to
00:36:11Get tickets for this thing tonight
00:36:15You know
00:36:15It's a teensy little bit early
00:36:18To be asking for favours darling
00:36:20But I admire your spunk
00:36:21Oh
00:36:22Come on
00:36:22Let's go and get a martini
00:36:26No
00:36:27I'm not a bad boss Mandy
00:36:29Despite what the various court filings may say
00:36:33I'm simply a world-renowned actor
00:36:36With a taste for the finer things in life
00:36:38Is that a crime?
00:36:40Oh
00:36:45Now
00:36:47I do ask that my silk items be hand-washed by you
00:36:51In front of me
00:36:52I love to watch
00:36:53Look I am not actually your
00:36:57Average
00:36:58Assistant no I am
00:36:59I'm so much more
00:37:00Ah
00:37:01You're a perineal myself
00:37:03Sure
00:37:04But I'm also just really on top of your schedule
00:37:07In fact
00:37:07You happen to have an appearance at PEG tonight
00:37:09So we better get going
00:37:10An appearance?
00:37:12At PEG?
00:37:13What's PEG?
00:37:14Oh it's a really cool gay club
00:37:15You will be introducing two drag queens at their show
00:37:17Why the tit would I be doing that?
00:37:19I don't do appearances
00:37:20I'm Rupert fucking Everett darling
00:37:22The fee
00:37:23Is astronomical
00:37:28Why didn't you say so before?
00:37:30Oh
00:37:32He's fine
00:37:33We're good
00:37:35Oh
00:37:35See
00:37:44Okay
00:37:45Okay
00:37:46We're here
00:37:46We're here
00:37:48We're flying from the other window
00:37:49Wrakes
00:37:49Yes
00:37:50Rubio let's go
00:37:52We are here
00:37:54Oh my god
00:37:55Bitch
00:37:56Hi
00:38:00Wonderful
00:38:01Is this your deal?
00:38:02Darling
00:38:02Do you have any Adderall?
00:38:05He's kidding
00:38:06He's kidding
00:38:07I think
00:38:07We should just get him
00:38:08Oh my god
00:38:09There you are
00:38:10Cutting it a bit fine babe
00:38:11Where's the wig?
00:38:13Well
00:38:14Hello
00:38:14Hello
00:38:16Sorry Tony
00:38:16She wouldn't give a toast
00:38:17She was just being very difficult
00:38:19That little bitch
00:38:20I'm sorry
00:38:21I had to escort Rupert inside
00:38:22He can't be out here with a crass
00:38:23The fucking neck of you
00:38:25She Friar
00:38:27Shit away
00:38:27It'll be fine
00:38:28Hi
00:38:29We just have a VIP with us
00:38:30If we could just
00:38:31Name
00:38:32So we are not on the list
00:38:33But I just know that
00:38:34Barbie and Skipper would want a gay icon of this caliber in the audience
00:38:37Will somebody please give me a fucking upper?
00:38:40Are you joking?
00:38:42It really isn't
00:38:42But please just be cool
00:38:43What have I told you about coming back here?
00:38:46Daddy needs his upper you
00:38:47Get him out of here before I call the police
00:38:49Police
00:38:49No I think you are mistaken
00:38:50This man's been terrorising us for years
00:38:52He's the reason that Stabber's got complex PTSD
00:38:56You're in violation of about ten restraining orders
00:38:58You utter fuckhead
00:39:00Co-dama
00:39:01I repeat
00:39:02Co-dama at the front door
00:39:04Co-dama?
00:39:05Oh my god
00:39:05You set my fucking wig on fire!
00:39:08Yeah!
00:39:08And I'll do it again!
00:39:09Because no one calls shit!
00:39:11Slay in a punch!
00:39:12It gets away with it!
00:39:14Why'd you tell them that you villain?
00:39:16This is why everybody hates straight people!
00:39:20Straight-ish!
00:39:21She's not coming in
00:39:22No shit
00:39:22Fuck off babes
00:39:24And stay fucked off!
00:39:25How embarrassing!
00:39:28Stay around here darling!
00:39:29Get to the back of us!
00:39:31Oh baby
00:39:31Brian?
00:39:32Oh my god!
00:39:33Brian!
00:39:34Oh my god you have to help us get in
00:39:35We were...
00:39:41We are too old for this Maggie
00:39:44Today was insane
00:39:46But this is not who I am anymore
00:39:48I promise I have changed
00:39:50You will see
00:39:50I will show you
00:39:53I think I can hope
00:39:56What?
00:39:58Well I didn't want to say anything
00:40:00But I thought
00:40:01You know maybe
00:40:02We need a plan C
00:40:05So I reached out to my online community
00:40:07And the universe provided me with a DM
00:40:11From a guy
00:40:12Whose mom owns this whole club
00:40:14Look there is no way
00:40:16That is some weirdo in his basement
00:40:17Looking for attention
00:40:18No I think that's him now
00:40:19Eddie!
00:40:21Eddie!
00:40:23Eddie!
00:40:25You!
00:40:26You!
00:40:27You!
00:40:28It's really you!
00:40:29I've been looking for you everywhere
00:40:31I mean not physically
00:40:33But on Instagram
00:40:33Oh my god
00:40:35This is me
00:40:36Wait
00:40:37You
00:40:38Know each other?
00:40:41I saw something like this
00:40:43In your soul contract
00:40:44Remember?
00:40:45A cherished
00:40:46Old friend
00:40:47Would return to your life
00:40:49Yeah
00:40:50I had no idea it would be Grant
00:40:51Listen can you start Monday?
00:40:53What?
00:40:54Oh my god
00:40:55Look at me getting ahead of myself
00:40:56I'm just so excited
00:40:57With this good luck
00:40:58It's for your day
00:41:00It is
00:41:01It is
00:41:02I love that
00:41:04I love you
00:41:04Oh sorry
00:41:06You just did a bump
00:41:06Anyway
00:41:07Mummy just bought Walthamstow
00:41:09And gave me a building
00:41:10So I'm opening a bar
00:41:12And you get to manage it
00:41:13Eddie!
00:41:15Oh my god
00:41:16Yes
00:41:16Sorry
00:41:18Finding Eddie a job
00:41:19Was our next step
00:41:20Amazing
00:41:21Let's go inside
00:41:22And talk business
00:41:24Eddie
00:41:26This is such
00:41:28A blessing
00:41:29From the universe
00:41:34Okay
00:41:34Okay
00:41:36Yeah
00:41:37Sure
00:41:37I knew you'd say yes
00:41:39Okay
00:41:39Come with me
00:41:40Oh hey guys
00:41:41This is Eddie
00:41:42My working class friend
00:41:44Come on
00:41:45Come on
00:41:46You too mad
00:42:08Hello
00:42:08Hey Maggie
00:42:09Sorry
00:42:10It's uh
00:42:11Is this in Will is it?
00:42:12I blocked you years ago
00:42:13Well I got a new number
00:42:15Look don't hang up
00:42:16It's about Whitney
00:42:18What about her?
00:42:19Eddie sent me a few texts
00:42:20When she first got to LA
00:42:22And then went completely AWOL
00:42:24Not a peep since then
00:42:25And now
00:42:25She reappears
00:42:27With this spiritual guru
00:42:29Slash influencer
00:42:31Something feels off
00:42:33Okay
00:42:34Okay well
00:42:35You're a nerd
00:42:36Do some research
00:42:37Dig up some dirt
00:42:38Or something
00:42:39I can do that
00:42:40Piss off princess
00:42:42We're having a party
00:42:43Ah
00:42:47Hmm
00:42:48Suit yourself
00:42:49Some tits
00:43:12Me
00:43:13Hmm
00:43:43Hey, sorry.
00:43:44Oh, Maggie, I don't like you using that thing.
00:43:47That's what killed Mr. Big.
00:43:48Yeah, good point. I'll call it a day.
00:43:52So, hard things with Eddie.
00:43:55Is she enjoying her new job?
00:43:57Do you think I made the bar too low?
00:44:01I assumed I'd be incredible at interior design
00:44:03because of my breeding.
00:44:05It's actually kind of hard.
00:44:08Eddie!
00:44:09Yes, Cren?
00:44:10Time Out magazine is coming tonight
00:44:11and it's like you don't even care
00:44:12if they think my bar is enchanting.
00:44:14Look, I know this might come as a surprise to you.
00:44:17I've got other more important things
00:44:18to be directing my mental energy to right now.
00:44:21Like what?
00:44:21Like my own inner peace
00:44:23and how to protect it
00:44:24when different energies come into my soul space.
00:44:26And can old energies merge with new energies
00:44:28or should I just...
00:44:29I went to a bar in Milan
00:44:30where none of the staff wore shoes.
00:44:32Maybe that's the answer.
00:44:35Well, I think she's loving it, yeah.
00:44:37I haven't actually seen her since the drag show
00:44:39but I've just...
00:44:40I've just been really busy with my Depop.
00:44:44I found a load of old Jane Norman tops
00:44:47and the kids are going well for them, so...
00:44:49But you'll see her soon, yeah?
00:44:50Oh, sure.
00:44:51Yeah, I just want to let her settle in.
00:44:54I just don't seem like a crazy stalker.
00:45:01You know, Krent,
00:45:02Whitney always says that listening
00:45:04is more powerful than talking.
00:45:05Is that aimed at me?
00:45:07I'm a fantastic listener.
00:45:09Look!
00:45:16Fine.
00:45:19Whitney thinks I should cut out...
00:45:23meat.
00:45:25And I get it
00:45:26because meat does kind of cause chaos.
00:45:29But I think
00:45:30I'll really, really miss it.
00:45:36You can still talk.
00:45:38Oh, okay.
00:45:40Well, um...
00:45:41I mean, did Whitney ever give meat a chance?
00:45:43Like, did she ever have a Nando's?
00:45:47Because chicken is not really meat, right?
00:45:49A bird is more of a plant
00:45:52than an animal,
00:45:53so I think
00:45:53if you have as much meat as you can
00:45:55while Whitney's away
00:45:56and then if it shuffles your chakras,
00:45:58you know you have to give it up for good.
00:46:01Right, listening time's over.
00:46:03Are you sure you have to take the rest of the day off?
00:46:05Very sure.
00:46:07About from anything else,
00:46:08it's basic employment law.
00:46:09Yes, but this is my chance to show mother
00:46:11that I have what it takes
00:46:12to be a nightlife tycoon
00:46:14slash corporate landlord.
00:46:15I've managed to set this place up
00:46:17so it actually functions,
00:46:18which is all you need
00:46:19to be mentioned
00:46:20in a listicle about hinged eight venues.
00:46:22Yes, I know, but Eddie...
00:46:24And also, isn't the journalist
00:46:25literally your brother's mate?
00:46:26You of all people
00:46:27should know how nepotism works.
00:46:28Yes, but I want a big,
00:46:30splashy rave.
00:46:31You think I'll get a big,
00:46:31splashy rave?
00:46:33I'm not sure what they'd rave about.
00:46:35This place lacks any real...
00:46:37identity.
00:46:39What do you mean?
00:46:39I mean, it's called Lodge by Kay.
00:46:41Hmm.
00:46:42But there is nothing lodge-y about it.
00:46:50Can I borrow your phone?
00:46:53Just make sure you put yourself first.
00:46:56I know Eddie is very important to you,
00:46:58but you've come a long way in the last year,
00:47:00and I don't want you to get you...
00:47:07How dare you hang over.
00:47:08I didn't hang off on you, Mum.
00:47:10The conversation was over.
00:47:14Look, I need a shower.
00:47:15Eddie invited me over.
00:47:19I don't know.
00:47:19I'm going to have some disgusting,
00:47:20hippie warehouse full of mice
00:47:21and rats and shit.
00:47:23Yeah.
00:47:24A friend of Whitney's lent us the place.
00:47:26He's doing a walk across India
00:47:28to raise awareness for people
00:47:29who raise awareness.
00:47:30So you're not paying anything?
00:47:31I don't know.
00:47:32Whitney looks after our finances.
00:47:34Oh.
00:47:35Speaking of my girl,
00:47:37Whitney, where's she at?
00:47:38She's so excited to get to know her better.
00:47:41She's out of town.
00:47:42We'll be back tomorrow.
00:47:42What?
00:47:43Oh, that's such a shame.
00:47:45It is, yeah.
00:47:47Just because Thursday's my soul reset day,
00:47:49which Whitney usually supports me through.
00:47:51But I thought maybe you could help instead.
00:47:57Oh.
00:47:57Okay, sure.
00:47:58Yeah.
00:47:59I mean, I've never done a soul recycling before,
00:48:03but I...
00:48:04Maggie, this is my spiritual practice.
00:48:05Don't take the piss.
00:48:07No, no, no.
00:48:07I'm not.
00:48:07I'm really not.
00:48:09Okay.
00:48:10I was going to start with a cleansing sound bath.
00:48:12Amazing.
00:48:12I would love to bathe sound.
00:48:14I really...
00:48:15If you're tired, it won't work.
00:48:17You have to focus.
00:48:18No.
00:48:18No, no.
00:48:19I'm not.
00:48:19That was just, like, nervous excitement.
00:48:22Like, I think, like, when a dog yawns.
00:48:25But I really want to know more about it.
00:48:27Like, everything you've learned from Whitney,
00:48:30because it's obviously helped you a lot,
00:48:32and I think that's really great.
00:48:35Okay, because I need this after a week of full-time Kren.
00:48:38Oh, right.
00:48:39Kren is your boss now.
00:48:40In name only.
00:48:41He knows who's really in charge.
00:48:42He does whatever I say.
00:48:48I've got a shitload of logs here
00:48:51for a printer for the Goldman Sachs.
00:48:55Okay.
00:48:58Sorry.
00:49:04Let your eyelids slide generously closed
00:49:08over your eyeballs
00:49:10and wait for the sound I make
00:49:13to start moving through your root chakra.
00:49:23Is it, like, one of those sounds
00:49:24that only animals can hear?
00:49:26I'm just warming it up.
00:49:32Can I try?
00:49:42Oh, my God.
00:49:45Is this the thing I'm good at?
00:49:47Oh, wow, Legs.
00:49:48Whitney always says the ball responds best
00:49:50to those with true inner serenity.
00:49:52I do feel super serene.
00:49:57Almost overwhelmingly so.
00:49:58It's almost like I've been...
00:50:09It's so soothing.
00:50:12Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
00:50:14Wow, Maggie.
00:50:15Are you chanting?
00:50:17Yes, I learned it in primary school.
00:50:19It's really common in Ireland.
00:50:31Jesus, what was that?
00:50:33It's a landline, Maggie.
00:50:35Oh, OK.
00:50:40Hello?
00:50:43Wait, Mia, slow down.
00:50:45Jesus!
00:50:46OK, I'm on my way.
00:50:47Just stay calm.
00:50:49It's calm.
00:50:50I'm calm.
00:50:54Grant's done something even dumber
00:50:55than I thought him capable of.
00:50:57I have to go down there.
00:50:58Oh, no.
00:51:00I totally understand.
00:51:01We can just hang out another time.
00:51:03Actually, could you come with me?
00:51:05I really need to stay grounded.
00:51:07It would be great if you could be my...
00:51:09soul anchor,
00:51:10seeing as you're just so mellow today.
00:51:12Absolutely.
00:51:17Oh, it's too hot.
00:51:20OK, guys,
00:51:21the log piles still just look like log piles.
00:51:24Pooey!
00:51:25You've ruined the surprise.
00:51:27Oh, my God.
00:51:28You've felt the bar with tiny saunas.
00:51:31OK, I'm just...
00:51:33I'm just...
00:51:34take a deep breath
00:51:35and think of...
00:51:37bedtime.
00:51:39Grant, can you please explain yourself
00:51:41in the least infuriating way possible?
00:51:43When you're a business owner,
00:51:45you have to take risks and be bold.
00:51:47That's according to Jamie Lang's podcast.
00:51:49So I thought,
00:51:49how can I ensure that we get a rave review?
00:51:51Stay home?
00:51:52And then it came to me.
00:51:54Lodge by Kay.
00:51:55Lodge.
00:51:56Ski lodge.
00:51:57Alpine luxury.
00:51:59And what do you think
00:52:00when you think alpine luxury?
00:52:03Saunas.
00:52:04So you get a drink
00:52:05and maybe some olives
00:52:06and then you take those olives
00:52:07into the little hot cup.
00:52:09Isn't that so cheap?
00:52:10Right.
00:52:10First things first.
00:52:13Hey, what are you doing?
00:52:14Let's turn off all my saunas.
00:52:15Well, that's very much the idea.
00:52:18Will you just leave
00:52:19and pretend we never saw this?
00:52:21Get rid of the saunas.
00:52:22My saunas?
00:52:23No.
00:52:24This bar cannot house five saunas.
00:52:26The heat will get us shut down.
00:52:27Get rid of them.
00:52:28But I love them.
00:52:29Get rid of the saunas
00:52:30or I quit.
00:52:31I...
00:52:35Besides,
00:52:36I'm sorry for the everything.
00:52:38It will all get sorted.
00:52:40Just please don't leave.
00:52:41John, are you happy?
00:52:43They're coming to take them away tomorrow.
00:52:45Tomorrow?
00:52:45So after timeout comes,
00:52:48call your mate
00:52:49and tell him to come another night.
00:52:50Oh, they're not coming.
00:52:51They text Elliot to say
00:52:52they can't make it.
00:52:53They're sending someone new.
00:52:55A man called TJ.
00:52:57According to his Instagram,
00:52:59he loves social housing
00:53:01and hates the elite,
00:53:02whoever they are.
00:53:03Maybe a band?
00:53:04Thank you, Krentz.
00:53:05That will be all.
00:53:09Okay.
00:53:10Come on, let me just...
00:53:14Oh, why is this still so hot?
00:53:16Apparently they take hours to cool down.
00:53:18Between that and the fact
00:53:19that this place now
00:53:19has the carbon footprint of an airport,
00:53:21he has really out-Krentzed himself.
00:53:22We need to shift these saunas.
00:53:24What happened to the mans with vans?
00:53:26They used to be everywhere.
00:53:27Oh.
00:53:29Maybe I can find one on Tinder.
00:53:30I just...
00:53:31Are you okay?
00:53:33Yeah.
00:53:33Totally.
00:53:34I think, um...
00:53:35I think the sound bath
00:53:36just really, like, relax.
00:53:37My muscles, you know.
00:53:38Oh, maybe Jay knows someone.
00:53:40Survivalists have vans, right?
00:53:42Yeah, you have to take this.
00:53:44Aw, thanks, Max.
00:53:46You're really helping me out today.
00:53:49Maybe I can't handle a week
00:53:50without Whitney.
00:54:03I found something.
00:54:04I've been deep in the way-back machine all day.
00:54:07And boy,
00:54:08my wrists are tired.
00:54:09How did you know I was here?
00:54:14Did I post this?
00:54:15Yeah.
00:54:16What the fuck?
00:54:19Stressy bestie.
00:54:20So, Whitney,
00:54:21she hasn't always been this hippie guru.
00:54:23No, this is her.
00:54:24Literally three years ago,
00:54:26she was a slime influencer.
00:54:27And she...
00:54:29God, it's hot in here.
00:54:31She's got an internet history
00:54:32as long as my extendable duster.
00:54:33I mean,
00:54:34we need to tell Eddie
00:54:35what we found here.
00:54:36Right.
00:54:37Yes.
00:54:39Not today.
00:54:40Today,
00:54:41I am an anchor.
00:54:42But she needs to know
00:54:44who she's going into business with.
00:54:45I'm worried that Eddie
00:54:46has given Whitney money.
00:54:48We need to sit her down right now.
00:54:49Do you still know that drug dealer
00:54:51with the stolen lorry?
00:54:52Oh, get in here.
00:54:53What?
00:54:53She'll be with you shortly.
00:54:55Just come.
00:54:57Was his name Chins?
00:54:58He only sold Xanax and poppers.
00:55:00I think Chins are on God's.
00:55:03Hey!
00:55:04Let's put some music on in here.
00:55:05Let's pop up the jam.
00:55:07Come on!
00:55:08Let's dance!
00:55:12Woo!
00:55:17Maggie?
00:55:25Maggie?
00:55:26Maggie?
00:55:27Maggie?
00:55:28Sorry.
00:55:29Sorry, I was just checking
00:55:30the floor
00:55:31for heat damage,
00:55:33but none of this
00:55:35and none of this
00:55:37is on fire, so...
00:55:39Can someone help?
00:55:41There are two more of these
00:55:42in the Abbey Lee.
00:55:42What's in there?
00:55:43Ice.
00:55:44I've got loads of ice.
00:55:46I thought we could make
00:55:46ice sculptures.
00:55:48I mean, how hard could it be?
00:55:49Edward Scissorhands did it
00:55:50and he was literally
00:55:51part scissor.
00:55:52But it's boiling hot in here.
00:55:54So we get air corn.
00:55:55I mean, fuck the planet, right?
00:55:56No, but Crane,
00:55:56the heat coming off
00:55:57of these things
00:55:58will melt the iron.
00:55:59Ah!
00:56:00Oh, I know I forgot something.
00:56:01What are you doing here?
00:56:03She!
00:56:04She brought me here
00:56:05and then she locked me in there!
00:56:07He, he is lying.
00:56:09He begged me
00:56:10to get in there.
00:56:11Please don't make me
00:56:11go in the hot place again, mummy.
00:56:13He was being crazy
00:56:14and I knew
00:56:16that you wanted to be a calm,
00:56:17woo-woo, hippie lady.
00:56:19This is my healing journey.
00:56:21No, I didn't mean that...
00:56:22I knew you were full of shit.
00:56:23No, Eddie, I would never...
00:56:24Two days about Whitney
00:56:25and this is what happened.
00:56:26Just get out!
00:56:28Both of you,
00:56:28get the fuck out of my bar!
00:56:32Get the fuck out of Crane's bar!
00:56:43So, what do we do now?
00:56:47I cannot believe
00:56:48if it wasn't the fact
00:56:48that I'm sedated
00:56:49that fucked things up.
00:56:51It was just you.
00:56:52I have a fire in my mouth.
00:56:53It's burning me.
00:56:54Ah!
00:56:56Everyone keeps asking me
00:56:58what to do!
00:57:00It's like,
00:57:01how should I know?
00:57:03You know,
00:57:03just because I'm the owner
00:57:05of the bar
00:57:05and the only person
00:57:07who stands to benefit
00:57:08financially
00:57:08from its success,
00:57:09I should know
00:57:10what I'm doing
00:57:11is the fair!
00:57:12Hey,
00:57:13before I lost my vision,
00:57:14I remember thinking
00:57:15that the sauna was really nice.
00:57:17The seat was comfortable
00:57:18and I love the man
00:57:20in the red cloak
00:57:20who showed me
00:57:21the passage to Hades.
00:57:22Thanks, Matt.
00:57:23Maggie,
00:57:24you're a good friend.
00:57:25You're trying.
00:57:27What else can you do?
00:57:30Oh!
00:57:31Okay,
00:57:32if no one minds,
00:57:33I'm going to take myself
00:57:33to the nearest hospital.
00:57:37Listen,
00:57:38we can turn
00:57:39your stupid fucking saunas
00:57:40into little private rooms
00:57:41pretend it's all on purpose
00:57:42if we can make the whole place
00:57:44look like a proper ski-
00:57:44Cringe!
00:57:47We're going to go back in there
00:57:48and we're going to turn
00:57:49your stupid mistake
00:57:50into a beautiful triumph.
00:57:51Ready?
00:57:52What are you doing?
00:57:55Is that some kind of street code?
00:57:57CARD!
00:57:58CARD!
00:57:59CARD!
00:58:00CARD!
00:58:00CARD!
00:58:00CARD!
00:58:01CARD!
00:58:02CARD!
00:58:02CARD!
00:58:04CARD!
00:58:04CARD!
00:58:30I got it!
00:58:32I got it!
00:58:34I got it!
00:58:53Listen, it looks worse than it is.
00:58:57Anyone who's ever had their period in a white tankini knows how to clean up a bloodstain, so...
00:59:07Oh, Dope, you came! I'll step on your mullet, it looks nothing if.
00:59:11I saved you a CD, Coswell's master, and Dope, the label's not coming.
00:59:19This is impressive. God.
00:59:27Seriously. It actually looks so good.
00:59:32A D! OMG! The last 90 minutes have literally been the hardest of my life.
00:59:37I had to learn things and then answer questions and then Maggie...
00:59:40Her, her pride. By admitting she wasn't so great with a power tool.
00:59:47Right, Krenz? It was so funny!
00:59:52We did so many laughs!
00:59:55I really thought I'd come back to somehow even more chaos, but...
01:00:01He... He fixed it.
01:00:04Thank you, Eddie.
01:00:06The time-out man is gonna be here any minute.
01:00:09My salopettes look fresh.
01:00:10Get... Get Eddie a jumper, and I am... I'm just gonna pee and I'll stop.
01:00:26I'm... I'm gonna try.
01:00:32I'm gonna try.
01:00:35I'm gonna try.
01:00:36And I'm gonna try.
01:01:05Do you think he lacks my tree?
01:01:08I think I should talk to him.
01:01:10You have to trust me on this one.
01:01:12That man will not like you.
01:01:15Boyler?
01:01:16Just down there, bruv.
01:01:18What?
01:01:19I don't have a coat switch.
01:01:21No, no, no, no, no.
01:01:23Do it.
01:01:25I didn't touch her.
01:01:26I swear.
01:01:27Oh, God.
01:01:28They're going to find a text I sent to my ex-girlfriend.
01:01:29Maggie!
01:01:30Maggie!
01:01:31It's okay.
01:01:31Don't panic.
01:01:32I think I can get Elton to sing Candle at her fume.
01:01:34No, this can't be.
01:01:35You can't do this to me.
01:01:36Maggie!
01:01:37Maggie!
01:01:38Oh, Mummy.
01:01:40Turn off the big light.
01:01:52And that is as far as we've got.
01:01:58We're still workshopping it, obviously.
01:01:59But I think it's going to be ready for the public really soon.
01:02:04What?
01:02:05Our Scandi Noir murder mystery immersive experience is literally the theme of the bar.
01:02:12Did you guys not warn him?
01:02:15We thought it would be fun if he felt real fear.
01:02:19Oh, they forgot to give you your detective costume.
01:02:22You're a detective.
01:02:22No, he's still in character.
01:02:23Eddie, why are you?
01:02:24And he'll give away the ending if we let him.
01:02:28This is his baby.
01:02:28He loved the killing.
01:02:30Yo, I've been to more escape rooms and punch drunk shows than I'd like to admit.
01:02:34But this, this was legit.
01:02:37Yeah, I fucking love it.
01:02:40You do?
01:02:41Yeah.
01:02:42The cozy winter shit, that was boring.
01:02:44But the horribly realistic dead body, yeah.
01:02:47That was fucking cool.
01:02:49I still feel kind of sick, but Time Out will love this.
01:02:53When's it, when's it launch?
01:02:55Let's let Maggie clean up and Kren will tell you all about it.
01:02:58Yeah, okay.
01:03:00Okay.
01:03:02I can't actually tell you much because I don't really understand that myself.
01:03:09Kren's giving us a massive casting budget.
01:03:11Where do you find actors?
01:03:12Dumbtree?
01:03:13Leave it with me.
01:03:20Genuinely, thanks for today.
01:03:22Oiled Will aside, you're a great soul anchor.
01:03:29I thought you wouldn't be able to accept me.
01:03:32As I am.
01:03:34Now.
01:03:35What?
01:03:36I'd accept you even if you were a Disney adult.
01:03:40Thanks.
01:03:43Whitney was concerned that your chaos would bring me down again.
01:03:47Like it did last year.
01:03:49But you've changed.
01:03:50I can really see that.
01:03:53Will, on the other hand.
01:03:54Wait, what did Will do?
01:03:56He basically declared his love for me.
01:03:58After the abortion.
01:04:00Whitney helped me see how toxic that was.
01:04:02She's helped me so much.
01:04:06It's like, before I met her,
01:04:10I'd been holding my breath.
01:04:15Like, since Dad died.
01:04:17And now.
01:04:20I'm breathing again.
01:04:27I wanted to learn from Whitney.
01:04:31Really.
01:04:33Maybe she could help with my scalp thing.
01:04:37Me and Whitney are moving to Devon.
01:04:39We're starting an intentional community down there.
01:04:42That's where she's been this week.
01:04:46Wow.
01:04:49Well.
01:04:51I have always wanted to spend more time on trains.
01:04:54So, they'll make it work.
01:04:58Maybe tomorrow we can have a real day off together.
01:04:59Eddie.
01:05:01I tried calling you. Are you okay?
01:05:03Hey. Back early.
01:05:05Oh.
01:05:06Maggie's here.
01:05:07She really helped me.
01:05:09There was this whole crint related emergency.
01:05:13Hey.
01:05:14Maggie really wants to learn from you, Whit.
01:05:16She responded so well to your techniques today.
01:05:19If that's okay with you.
01:05:21Of course.
01:05:24Anyone with an honest heart is a welcome in my world.
01:05:30You look stunning.
01:05:31Do you have a facial or something?
01:05:33I wasn't on vacation, Eddie.
01:05:36I was securing our future.
01:05:38Of course.
01:05:39I'm so sorry.
01:05:40You worked so hard for us.
01:05:44I guess the ocean just did wonders for my inner light.
01:05:49Yeah.
01:05:50Wow.
01:05:51Well, that light certainly is blindingly white.
01:05:58Yeah.
01:05:59Yeah.
01:06:00Yeah.
01:06:00Yeah.
01:06:01Yeah.
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