- 5 hours ago
- #reelshort
she's not homeless she's healer Goddes! - #Reelshort - full movie
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00:00:02Healer Goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:05Please save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:42We're doing it.
00:00:51Praise! She is the Healer Goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:05Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:34Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:48You're a juvenile.
00:01:53See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:16Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:21We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:23If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26Be Lysander Armstrong!
00:02:27His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:32He's so hot!
00:02:34Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money. Fame. Power.
00:02:40It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:55Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:15Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:22We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27Oh, no!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:39Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:44Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:46The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What?
00:03:52Jeez, this has given me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay.
00:04:03I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:14Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:25What?
00:04:26My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on. Come on.
00:04:33Oh!
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:48What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:55Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General.
00:05:00I'm the Angel Herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:25I have no clue what this is.
00:05:30Oh, it looks like the Angel Herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed!
00:06:07If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:15The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:23That's correct. Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft. That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:47bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her. James, come.
00:06:51Put out a voucher to the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:59There's no need.
00:07:13I'll save your son.
00:07:16Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother? Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:28God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:39That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:51Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:56But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:03Could you hold this?
00:08:04Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:20Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:30Ew!
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:33Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:35Security!
00:08:35Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:40If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander into no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:55You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58Alright, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:00But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall!
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed to have me, and I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:20Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:22No, Miss Trixie, my brother is a hero to me. I can't lose him.
00:09:29Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:38Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:45As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her. Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:01Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time. But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:19Oh, okay. What's happening? What are we doing?
00:10:35Oh, okay. What's happening? What are we doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv!
00:10:41She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane? Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:53He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:10:59Yeah, right. I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:04Oh, okay. I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:18This?
00:11:25It is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:28What? So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:11:36Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree. I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point as of doctors who
00:11:47have studied for years?
00:11:49We are all certified.
00:11:51But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right about everything.
00:11:58Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphy.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:10Because I just discovered it.
00:12:13This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are a billion to one. A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:27What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:33Precisely. You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:41I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:45Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:49And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases, which mean nothing if you can't
00:12:56wake him up.
00:12:56Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:59Oh my God.
00:13:01If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up, I think you all should grow parts of your brain
00:13:07back.
00:13:07Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:26And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:32These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:37You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:47Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:52It's a deal.
00:13:53I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:55No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:15Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:33I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:38Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:43Don't listen to her.
00:14:45She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:50Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:53Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:01What? Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:14Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh, yeah?
00:15:20Yeah, you wanna see real pain? Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well, put down the dog!
00:15:25With pleasure.
00:15:41Left leaves the wrong breath.
00:15:47You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:06This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course!
00:16:12I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I wanna save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:35Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:37This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:39I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
00:16:42Angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call...
00:16:45Malpractice.
00:16:47This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:50But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:52Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:56Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:03Then stop getting in my way. Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:14General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on. You two are going in there...alone?
00:17:27If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure. Invite everyone in.
00:17:33Alright. But I warn you. No funny business.
00:17:37Hmm.
00:17:41Hmm...
00:17:42Hmm.
00:17:43Hmm...
00:17:44Hmm.
00:17:49Huh?
00:17:50...
00:18:50That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:18:52And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation, held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:18:59Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:02We have to have faith.
00:19:04Where did you actually find this little light?
00:19:07Uh, on the streets?
00:19:11Are you shitting me?
00:19:13You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:14Are you nuts?
00:19:15You don't know her.
00:19:16You don't know her background.
00:19:18She could be a psychotic murderer.
00:19:20That is it, General.
00:19:21You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:22You're right.
00:19:23That's it.
00:19:24I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:26James, let's go.
00:19:27Yes, sir.
00:19:38I told you all to stay out.
00:19:45This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:47We can't be interrupted.
00:19:49Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:54I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:00I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:02No, thank you.
00:20:05Ow!
00:20:07You see that, General?
00:20:08This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:10This is witchcraft.
00:20:13I know what this is.
00:20:15This is the dark witch.
00:20:17I've heard of her.
00:20:18She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men,
00:20:23and then she eats them alive.
00:20:24I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:27James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:30Yes, sir.
00:20:34Here we gain consciousness.
00:20:46Help me.
00:20:46I just want to...
00:20:52Something's wrong.
00:20:56You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:59Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:04That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:13Sir?
00:21:14The SWAT team is here.
00:21:16Captain Morales.
00:21:19My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:24I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:27Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:29We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:36Right.
00:21:37Rewrites the wrong.
00:21:42Human.
00:21:46Who the fuck are you?
00:21:48And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:51Good.
00:21:52You're awake.
00:21:53I'm saving you.
00:21:54Saving me?
00:21:56By bathing with me?
00:21:58Who are you?
00:21:58Are you a fucking spy?
00:22:01Talk.
00:22:01I swear to God, I'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:05You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stipper.
00:22:10I will never.
00:22:11Oh, really?
00:22:25Look who's scouting now.
00:22:29Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right?
00:22:31But it is a biological fact.
00:22:33A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:39Science, okay?
00:22:40It just means that my body is physically here.
00:22:45You're distracting me with your funny.
00:22:47And I'm a professional.
00:22:49I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:51Captain, do something now.
00:22:52Ready!
00:22:58We're almost there.
00:22:59Aim.
00:23:02Get him, boys.
00:23:04Get him.
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:10Fire!
00:23:25Those amicils.
00:23:27How is this possible?
00:23:29It's not even a scratch.
00:23:31I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:33Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:35No.
00:23:36I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:38She's not the dark witch.
00:23:40Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:44This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:48How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:50That's right.
00:23:51The queen, Angel, and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:55If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:58Except for the goddess healer.
00:23:59Think about it.
00:24:00We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:02He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:04Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:05You're right.
00:24:06This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:24:12Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:24:15No, no.
00:24:16Absolutely not.
00:24:17There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:21How could you know for sure?
00:24:22Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:26You're wrong, sir.
00:24:27This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:32It's called borderline revival.
00:24:34She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:37But only temporarily.
00:24:39It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:44That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:46I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:24:52My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:54He is dying right now, naked, in a jacuzzi, with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:59Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:25:00The witch doctor.
00:25:02Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:06My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:09You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:13I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:19from me.
00:25:21This isn't the finishing touch.
00:25:24I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:27So we can both survive.
00:25:47It's poison gas.
00:25:49The poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:55Poison gas?
00:25:56My son is in there.
00:25:58You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:26:00No, don't worry, General.
00:26:01Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:04Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:08Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:10And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:12They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:18I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
00:26:21It's now or never.
00:26:35What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:37It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:38Wait a second.
00:26:40You don't think that they're...
00:26:42You!
00:26:43You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:45Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:47If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:51Oh my god.
00:26:51Yeah?
00:26:52She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:54I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:58Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:27:02This is taking way too long.
00:27:05Captain Morales, it's time to get out.
00:27:07The big guns.
00:27:09These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:12Bazooka.
00:27:13She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:16Crap.
00:27:17Oh my god.
00:27:17Get back, son.
00:27:19Ready.
00:27:21Aim!
00:27:22Oh, shit.
00:27:27Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:42The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:43Shoot her dead now.
00:27:45Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:47I said stand down.
00:27:50Don't listen to her.
00:27:51She's a fraud.
00:27:52A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:54I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:58If I'm a termite, then...
00:28:00You're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:28:03Wait a second.
00:28:04Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:06He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:07You can see for yourself.
00:28:09Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:12That is it.
00:28:13No more stalling, General.
00:28:15If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:21Don't hurt her.
00:28:27He's a cure.
00:28:33His pulse is regular.
00:28:35In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:40There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:51Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:53Lysander's warm again.
00:28:54He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:56And his heart is strong.
00:28:58Come, feel it.
00:29:01I saved my son.
00:29:04Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:07Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:12I've learned my lesson.
00:29:13I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:18Wait, wait.
00:29:19No, no.
00:29:19There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen,
00:29:25Angel, and I.
00:29:27It's the...
00:29:33Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:36But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look a
00:29:42day after 20.
00:29:44It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:45What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:48Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:52Take care.
00:29:53No, wait.
00:29:54Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:57He's right.
00:29:58We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
00:30:03if you cured him.
00:30:04And you did just that.
00:30:06Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:10I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:13I...
00:30:15I'm already engaged.
00:30:19Already engaged?
00:30:20I am.
00:30:21I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years, and he's coming back today.
00:30:27But don't be disappointed.
00:30:29Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:31I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:33Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:36But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:38Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:41Take the gold.
00:30:42No, really.
00:30:44I don't need anything.
00:30:45I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:51Trixie, it's your fiancé.
00:30:53He's back.
00:30:54And he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:58I must go.
00:31:06Hobo close.
00:31:07Halo glow.
00:31:09I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:12It was just dumb luck.
00:31:14She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:17She could have been the richest woman in the world.
00:31:19Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:25I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:32Oh, my God.
00:31:33I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:38No, no, no, no, Lysander, Lysander's job is supposed to be mine.
00:31:45I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:50You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:53Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:57No.
00:31:58We're not brides.
00:31:59I know she's just better than us.
00:32:02Oh, my God.
00:32:04Oh, my God.
00:32:06We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:09She's no average Jane.
00:32:10No, she isn't.
00:32:11She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:13But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable
00:32:19-looking doll?
00:32:20But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:21No normal person could have done that.
00:32:23Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:26I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:28I have to find her.
00:32:29I have to make her my wife.
00:32:31She won my heart over, too.
00:32:32But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:36All right, listen.
00:32:38I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house.
00:32:52Now.
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:55She waited for you for three years.
00:32:58She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:00And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:33:02One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:05So get lost.
00:33:07Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:16Grandma.
00:33:18Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:20I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:23I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:27In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:30So sign over the house now.
00:33:37You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:40And I did.
00:33:41For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:44Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:47And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:51We were together for three years and it was a complete waste of my life when I could have been
00:33:56with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:03That's how much you would owe me if I was in the rent-to-boyfriend business.
00:34:09I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:17Oh, yeah?
00:34:19Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
00:34:23She grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:26And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
00:34:31Dude!
00:34:32Oh!
00:34:32And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing.
00:34:37So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:39Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:42Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:34:45Oops.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:57You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:59I certainly did.
00:35:00In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:13Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:15That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:18You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:21My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:35:28How dare you insult her?
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:32Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:35Poor Edna.
00:35:36She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:41Show her, Bob.
00:35:43Oh!
00:35:47This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:35:50She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:52She was begging on the street for money.
00:36:23I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:36:26I don't know what you're doing out there on the street.
00:36:27What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:36:38Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:39Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:54At your wedding, I will.
00:36:57If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend,
00:37:03why should I do good by you?
00:37:05I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:10Fucking bitch!
00:37:11You better keep your word.
00:37:13Oh, that's rich.
00:37:15After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:18Do remember that.
00:37:25Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:29They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:33Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:37:36I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:40Trillions?
00:37:43That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:47It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:37:52I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:56That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:38:01It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:05But please, Trixie dear, I know it must have broken your heart.
00:38:10But embellishing your worth and who you are, it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:17You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:19After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills.
00:38:24I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:38:29That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity.
00:38:33You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:35I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right.
00:38:39Who actually deserves you.
00:38:41You will see tomorrow, grandma.
00:38:45Oh, yeah.
00:38:47Stop.
00:38:50You said Trixie's crashing my wedding?
00:38:53She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:56She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:39:00When nobody steps on Snake, Snake bites back hard.
00:39:05So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:07Yeah.
00:39:08You mean...
00:39:10We broadcast that video of me?
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:17Her cavewoman stick, the 19th century tin can.
00:39:20She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:24against my presidential glow up.
00:39:26Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:35There he is.
00:39:38Welcome home, brother.
00:39:40Welcome home, General!
00:39:44Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:49He served with your regiment in the Marines.
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:39:54Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:58So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her.
00:40:01Fucking coward.
00:40:02According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:40:05Then we should join her.
00:40:08Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:13So she needs our support.
00:40:15Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will allow her to protect her, sir!
00:40:20Then let's roll.
00:40:36Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:39Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:41Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract,
00:40:46allowing my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:53Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:55Wakeham.
00:40:56Stowe, butch is taking my last name.
00:40:59Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:41:02You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a par-tay after all.
00:41:07I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:13The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract or so.
00:41:19It's an honor.
00:41:20And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:41:25We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin!
00:41:32Not so fast.
00:41:33The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:41:58You two really are a match made in hell.
00:42:01So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:04I don't recognize her from any of our elite circles.
00:42:07Who is she?
00:42:08Um, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:11Just watch.
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:17You lost.
00:42:18I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
00:42:20You know, being this poor.
00:42:24Me?
00:42:25Bum a meal?
00:42:25Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:30And what evidence do you have of that?
00:42:32Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:37Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:42:41And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:44Sasa.
00:42:44She's like, so obsessed with me.
00:42:46She's like, come on.
00:42:48See, everyone?
00:42:50Butch already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still
00:42:55show up to my wedding to suck up to me.
00:42:58This is what poor, sad girls do.
00:43:00They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:43:05Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:19You giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:43:25So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
00:43:31dollar contract?
00:43:32We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:34And I saw potential in you.
00:43:36Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:43:38But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:42Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:43:45This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:47They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:50Damn right.
00:43:51You were too embarrassing for me.
00:43:55Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:57I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:43:59Bravo.
00:44:01Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:02Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:44:04Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:06You should make her stop.
00:44:08Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:09She's the gold digging, blood sucking leech.
00:44:12I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone
00:44:16for me, butch.
00:44:18You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:44:23Okay, enough.
00:44:24You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing.
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves.
00:44:33That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:37Because I've got the material goods.
00:44:39And you're just all empty talk.
00:44:41I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:44:43Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:44:47See this?
00:44:59Oh my god.
00:45:01Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:06The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not.
00:45:10I don't believe it.
00:45:12You all sound so scared already.
00:45:14Don't worry.
00:45:15This isn't that contract.
00:45:17It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:45:23See everyone?
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:26But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:45:28Look at her following orders.
00:45:29I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:45:32Like a good little peasant slave.
00:45:35That house is worth all her life savings.
00:45:40You want to, uh, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:54You misunderstand me.
00:45:56I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:45:59I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:08Bro, she's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:10She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket and
00:46:14invest in baddie.
00:46:15You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:18It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:20Uh, I know what this is.
00:46:22You've gotten delusional.
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some Prince Charming will
00:46:29scoop you into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening.
00:46:32Security!
00:46:33Lock the doors.
00:46:34This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:46:39This is where your dreams will die, bitch.
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:47She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:50Butch Tanner.
00:46:51Well, he's going to wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:46:54Let's go.
00:46:58You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:47:05Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:07General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:10You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:16You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:20So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here is going to believe you.
00:47:27If you really cured the incurable general, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:47:32And she's not.
00:47:33You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:37Show them, Butch.
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:46Trixie's just a freeloading beggar.
00:47:51She won't leave me and Marissa alone, because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:55I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:57Sasa, she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military.
00:48:03Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
00:48:08How despicable.
00:48:09She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:13Get out of here.
00:48:14No one wants to marry you.
00:48:15No free meals for the poor.
00:48:17Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society.
00:48:21So you're either born on a silver spoon, or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:48:25Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
00:48:35I already have everything one can dream of, but I valued our friendship, Marissa, which is why I came here
00:48:40to give you a second chance.
00:48:42To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
00:48:45But no.
00:48:46You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:48:49Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:48:54And who knows if you've already started offering sexual services.
00:48:59Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:03My brother will never take you back.
00:49:06No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
00:49:09But make me happy?
00:49:11And I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:49:25How dare you hit my brother?
00:49:27I'm never letting you leave here alive.
00:49:30I thought I had to do something.
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:34After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:49:39Oh, is that so?
00:49:42Security!
00:49:44Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
00:49:50or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:54I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:50:02Dream on!
00:50:04You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:50:08You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:10Enough!
00:50:12You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:18On the count of three!
00:50:20I think I quite like it here.
00:50:21Two!
00:50:33This wine is so delicious.
00:50:36One!
00:50:37Shoot!
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:51:01Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No, I'm fine.
00:51:11But, um, when did I become your future wife?
00:51:15You saved me, Trixie, remember?
00:51:18I'm a man of my word.
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
00:51:22Really, it was nothing.
00:51:24I saved you because you're a good man, not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:51:35I see what this is.
00:51:36You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:38Look at you guys, a lovey-dove.
00:51:40Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:42She waited for you for three years.
00:51:43This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:51:48Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh.
00:51:52She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:54No man who, in a hundred-foot pole, would want to touch her.
00:51:58She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:52:05I see her in the Marines.
00:52:08I'm a major.
00:52:10Look, man, I know Trixie is like a, I don't know, a seven now that she's all cleaned up,
00:52:16but don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:25A real man never talks about a woman that way.
00:52:29You're a coward.
00:52:40We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:52:44You're very gracious, Trixie, you know that?
00:52:49You're only getting off with it because she's so kind,
00:52:51so you're going to do me the favor of never coming near her again.
00:52:53You understand?
00:52:54You want to fuck with me, you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major.
00:52:58You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:53:01I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:53:03Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were in the Marines.
00:53:07What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just a supply boy.
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:20Poor girl.
00:53:21Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:28Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:53:34A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:36What a pair.
00:53:38It seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:53:42Maybe we should try to pay some off some more, don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:56Trixie, listen.
00:53:57I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:54:01But I know that we shared a moment.
00:54:06I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:54:10It's not in my nature.
00:54:12I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:14Listen, Trixie, I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:22So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:25So I know that you're the one for me.
00:54:29This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:54:34Oscar worthy.
00:54:35Oscar worthy.
00:54:37No.
00:54:38First gift.
00:54:43Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:46So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:49Worth $500 million.
00:54:51Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:55Second gift.
00:54:59This contains all the rights to my entire fortune.
00:55:03Which is now yours.
00:55:04Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07It must be pennies.
00:55:08They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:11They've got nothing left.
00:55:12But Lysander, I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:15No, look, I know.
00:55:17I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:20Okay?
00:55:21Which is exactly why my third gift is, um, well.
00:55:41Cleo!
00:55:43Hey!
00:55:44Oh, my God.
00:55:46You found my dog.
00:55:51Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:53But with you, it's so much more.
00:55:55Trixie Amore.
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:03You know I can't say no to this doggo.
00:56:09Yes, I will marry you.
00:56:27Go, go, power couple.
00:56:30Woo!
00:56:30Ha ha!
00:56:31Okay, stop.
00:56:33The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:56:36Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is.
00:56:41No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:56:46Hey.
00:56:47I don't care if she's homeless or not.
00:56:49But I'm making this woman my wife.
00:56:51Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on earth.
00:56:55I understand.
00:57:00You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on earth.
00:57:05This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:15As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:22Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market.
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the Princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:57:31I bet my life you're all just actors.
00:57:35Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:57:37Come on, Lysander.
00:57:38What are we waiting for?
00:57:38Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:57:40What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us, the elites?
00:57:44Infect us with your poor people bad luck?
00:57:46She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:57:50Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum.
00:57:54She's utterly unmarriable.
00:57:58I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:58:03I'd handle them myself, but I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:58:09Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:17Yes, hello, this is Lysander.
00:58:18Please bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:22Oh my gosh, I'm so scared.
00:58:24Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:58:35Uh, hello?
00:58:36Yes.
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm going bankrupt!
00:58:54Hey, hey, hey, are you sure that was the call, Sasha?
00:58:58That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:59:01My company's dead!
00:59:02My company's dead!
00:59:03It's evaporated!
00:59:04It's in thin air!
00:59:08That's impossible!
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:16And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:20Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:23Then that means you're really Lysander Armstrong, the richest and most powerful man in the country.
00:59:33Trixie's married.
00:59:35The famed war hero.
00:59:36The man every girl wants and every man wants to be.
00:59:41Now you believe me?
00:59:42Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
00:59:45No, there's got to be some trick to this.
00:59:48You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
00:59:51It's awesome.
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie.
01:00:02Because you've been in the military for so long, you don't know what a real woman can do for you.
01:00:07Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:12Do you want to rub your hands for me?
01:00:14Or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:20I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:26Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:00:31Sansa was just trying to save the company.
01:00:34I don't blame her at all.
01:00:35Your double standards are incredible.
01:00:37Okay, you don't want me.
01:00:39Fine.
01:00:40But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:00:41I can give you a room full of pageant winners, 18 years old, fresh for the taking.
01:00:54I did that so you wouldn't have to, Ms. Trixie.
01:00:57Thank you, Devin.
01:00:59Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé, but
01:01:06now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:10You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:01:12No, to all of humanity.
01:01:13So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:20Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:25They're imposters.
01:01:30I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:01:37So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40The goddess healer?
01:01:41You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:47Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:01:51The goddess healer's motto is the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong bereft.
01:01:58That means she's rewarding me.
01:02:00The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:02:03In fact, she's on her way now.
01:02:08So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:15If the president and the goddess healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:21We can break his legs, break his arms.
01:02:23No one would even bat an eye.
01:02:24She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:28FBI!
01:02:30FBI!
01:02:30FBI!
01:02:31You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:02:36Gotcha.
01:02:41Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:02:44No, don't arrest her!
01:02:46Trixie is a good person.
01:02:48Please, officer, don't arrest her!
01:02:50Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Williams, what are you all doing here?
01:02:54The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch.
01:02:57We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:03:00Listen, officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:03:05She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition,
01:03:12Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out.
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:18My fiance really is an incredible woman.
01:03:20She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:28You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:34He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:41And that's why it's twice the crime for stealing his identity.
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:58But I promise I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:04If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiance.
01:04:09You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:10Let's go!
01:04:34Get him!
01:04:35If you can.
01:05:08If you want to arrest me, I'm going to arrest you.
01:05:26Is that enough pain?
01:05:28Or do you want more?
01:05:38Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:05:40Lysander.
01:05:42Grandma.
01:05:44Meet my new fiance.
01:05:48Wow, your new fiance.
01:05:50He's so manly.
01:05:52Much better than your last one.
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:57It's Butch's loss.
01:05:59Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:01She's like a shining star in the sky and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:07Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, fam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor!
01:06:13Drown out the poor!
01:06:16Drown out the poor!
01:06:17Drown out the poor!
01:06:19Drown out the poor!
01:06:21See, Trixie?
01:06:21You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:24You can't compete against me, even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:28We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:35Let them eat, Kate!
01:06:46You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:48Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:49Attack!
01:07:07You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:15What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was.
01:07:19I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding.
01:07:28Damn it!
01:07:29Devin, Devin!
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun, too?
01:07:35That'll teach you from messing with the Wickhams.
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:39We're cornered.
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:42Devin, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:48They will be punished.
01:07:52Now hold still for me.
01:07:56Right.
01:07:57Rewrites the world.
01:08:08Holy fuck!
01:08:10Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:11By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:13She the goddess healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now.
01:08:20Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:22See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:25No.
01:08:26Please.
01:08:26I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:29Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:30Sure.
01:08:32You hear that?
01:08:33She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:39While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:43Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:51And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:53God?
01:08:54God?
01:08:55Wrong.
01:08:56But you're close.
01:08:58I'm bullshit.
01:08:59I'm going to show you how the elite can travel on your little lives.
01:09:04You want to cross the line so bad?
01:09:06Then let's see you try.
01:09:07Charge!
01:09:08Charge!
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death.
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:31You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:33What if it's a trap?
01:09:34That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:37She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:43I will.
01:09:47Left leaves the wrong rest.
01:09:56I'm fine.
01:09:57Nothing happened.
01:09:58You'll see soon enough.
01:10:00Oh, please.
01:10:01I really want to die.
01:10:03And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:07Whoops.
01:10:08Just frosted again.
01:10:10Whoops.
01:10:10And again.
01:10:12Nothing's happening.
01:10:13I'll hit you.
01:10:24No!
01:10:25No!
01:10:25No, Bob.
01:10:27What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything.
01:10:31Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:34I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:36If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:39Come on.
01:10:41Major.
01:10:42Are you not going to help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:53Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:02Please!
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you.
01:11:04You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:05Oh, please.
01:11:06You hurt us first.
01:11:08At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:11But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:16Marissa, thanks for taking this lowlife from me.
01:11:20You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:23You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife.
01:11:38And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:45But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:52Oh, really?
01:11:54Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:57You've got nothing on me.
01:12:02Yes.
01:12:03Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:10Goddess!
01:12:11Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:14Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:19Get the VP.
01:12:20We're leaving now.
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:36As Secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:39Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:43Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:47You hear that, everyone?
01:12:48There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:13:00No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:03Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the Goddess Healer can do that.
01:13:08Is Trixie really the Goddess Healer?
01:13:16Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:23and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the Goddess Healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:28Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:31I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:34You can only dream of what you can never have, while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:41Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:45It ain't working.
01:13:46You can't just fake the...
01:13:50Yeah, but Goddess Healing Power is legendary.
01:13:53It's like real magic.
01:13:55Trixie, you're an angel, but the Goddess Healing is beyond your imagination.
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No.
01:14:09Trixie, look, I believe you.
01:14:12You saved me.
01:14:14Whether you're a Goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:17No matter what happens, you are a Goddess to me.
01:14:21We'll riot against you now.
01:14:23Tear her apart!
01:14:25Tear her apart!
01:14:26Tear her apart!
01:14:28Tear her apart!
01:14:29Tear her apart!
01:14:31The Vice President arrives!
01:14:47Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:54You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:56Wait, what?
01:14:59He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:01No, no.
01:15:02We've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:04Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:06This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:15:11But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:16Yes, we all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:18What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:24And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:27The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:31And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the President?
01:15:35He is the General.
01:15:37Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:39Did you hear that?
01:15:41Even the Vice President knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:45So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:48We got the VP and the President.
01:15:51On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:55I told you.
01:15:56Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:59This is treason.
01:16:00Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:16:08Hurry!
01:16:09The Goddess Healer needs us.
01:16:13You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:15My brother is a war hero.
01:16:17He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:20He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:22If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:23Enough!
01:16:24You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:28Not just your brother.
01:16:30Yeah.
01:16:31It's okay.
01:16:33Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancé's life.
01:16:41And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:43I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:49I truly saved a good man.
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancé.
01:16:59And what can you do about it?
01:17:01Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:04My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:17:09Let's try it out on them.
01:17:12Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:17:13There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:15Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:18Despicable!
01:17:18What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:24Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:28Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:33Oh!
01:17:42Shoot!
01:17:43Wait, that's the President.
01:17:57No!
01:17:57Hey, idiots!
01:18:00Oh!
01:18:03Oh, my gosh!
01:18:07I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:18:09That was...
01:18:10They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:14What is this?
01:18:15Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:19This is a war crime.
01:18:21These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:23You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:25I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:26I have the presidential contract.
01:18:28With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:30And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:35What are you doing?
01:18:35Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:39That is easy.
01:18:40There's no need.
01:18:42I'll save everyone.
01:18:57It's raining gold!
01:19:01What's happening?
01:19:02Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:19:04It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:07She...
01:19:08She...
01:19:08She...
01:19:09She is...
01:19:10She is a criminal.
01:19:12Don't worry, Madam President.
01:19:13We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:15I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:17Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:20What are you talking about?
01:19:21The president literally came here to give me my billion-dollar contract.
01:19:34This contract?
01:19:36Yeah!
01:19:37Yes!
01:19:38Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:56My contract, you bitch!
01:19:59And that's not all.
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:15There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:18Don't you realize?
01:20:19Or are you too much of a goody-two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:26Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:28And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:31So prepare yourself.
01:20:32Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:35What are you going to do?
01:20:37The president is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:43You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:50So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll...
01:20:54She's going to give me my billion-dollar...
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:08Why?
01:21:09Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:11You're supposed to be giving me the billion-dollar contract.
01:21:14You wish, idiot!
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside.
01:21:22It makes me want to vomit.
01:21:24I-I-I don't understand.
01:21:25I was just trying to punish these impostors for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:31And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:36You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:40The one and only...
01:21:42And it's...
01:21:46Her.
01:21:57What?
01:22:02Welcome, goddess.
01:22:11Uh, we, uh...
01:22:16You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:17How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:28Help those in need.
01:22:30And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:33No, so that means...
01:22:35The billion-dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39Then she took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was her golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancée and best friend.
01:22:47But after everything you've done,
01:22:49I'm officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please, I swear on you.
01:22:53I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:59Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:00And she's an amazing person.
01:23:02And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:06She's gonna be my wife.
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:16I love you.
01:23:30All her gold, all her clothes, all that could have been mine.
01:23:35This is all your fault.
01:23:36This is all...
01:23:37You seduced me!
01:23:39Don't help me!
01:23:40You were the one that came onto me, you himbo!
01:23:44Please, Trixie, give me another chance!
01:23:48I want to be rich again!
01:23:50I'll be your slave.
01:23:51Kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:55But it's too late now.
01:23:57All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:02You two should be locked up.
01:24:03And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:24:08arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:13I never loved you.
01:24:14It's your fault!
01:24:15I was only with you for your money.
01:24:17I didn't care.
01:24:18You were rich!
01:24:19You awesome self-help!
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands,
01:24:37I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:49Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes!
01:24:53Well...
01:24:54Woo!
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02I do.
01:25:03You may kiss the bride.
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