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Girl Climber [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:06Oh
00:00:30Let's go.
00:01:10Rito, open that up.
00:01:12Come on.
00:01:13Get it open.
00:01:16I totally knew it.
00:01:18I totally knew it.
00:01:21What is it?
00:01:23It's a rope.
00:01:24Get rid of that box.
00:01:26Another 12 year old would love a rope for Christmas.
00:01:29Yeah.
00:01:31Yeah.
00:01:31Come on, Em.
00:01:33Yeah.
00:01:34Woo!
00:01:35Yeah!
00:01:37Yeah!
00:01:38Yeah!
00:01:39Yeah!
00:01:39Yeah!
00:01:45Emily.
00:01:46Emily.
00:01:47Emily, where are we?
00:01:48I don't know.
00:01:50I don't know.
00:01:51We're at El Capitan.
00:01:57From Colorado, Emily Harrington.
00:02:02She's certainly a force to be reckoned with.
00:02:06Emily, make it look easy.
00:02:12Five-time national champion.
00:02:22But Emily is certainly one of the most well-rounded American female climbers.
00:02:27Part of your brain knows that this is slightly illogical.
00:02:32It is dangerous.
00:02:33But life's boring if you don't have that little element of spice, right?
00:02:38We should try to get a little bit more comfortable with being afraid.
00:02:46I love exploring my perceived limit and trying to push past it.
00:03:06I love it.
00:03:08I love it.
00:03:14Well, of course, when we have a closer feeling, I hope we have an eye-to-do.
00:03:20I love to see this.
00:03:21That's a little more comfortable and beautiful thing.
00:03:23I love it.
00:03:23I love it.
00:03:28Are you biting my nose?
00:03:45We got fire.
00:03:47I think this is my pee bottle.
00:03:51Nope, it's just a normal water bottle.
00:03:59A little flare in the van.
00:04:15I'm really proud of my career so far, but if you want to call yourself a successful all-around
00:04:21climber, you've got to be up on El Cap.
00:04:26There it is, in all its glory.
00:04:31El Capitan.
00:04:47It's always surprising how big it is.
00:04:50I never think, oh, like, it doesn't look that bad, or it doesn't look that big.
00:04:54It's always fucking so big.
00:04:58I don't know why no one talks about how scary it is.
00:05:04I wish I could not feel afraid anymore.
00:05:11El Capitan is a 3,200-foot granite face.
00:05:18It doesn't get much bigger, doesn't get much more difficult, doesn't get much more high
00:05:24quality than El Cap.
00:05:28It's just the most impressive, most beautiful stone in the world, and it's so hard to free
00:05:35climb.
00:05:38When you look at El Cap, it looks impossible, it looks smooth, and you can't imagine what
00:05:43there would be to climb it.
00:05:45It always attracted people that are curious to push themselves to the highest level.
00:05:52For decades, climbers have been testing themselves up there.
00:05:58Climbing El Capitan is the most badass thing that you can do, as a human.
00:06:04With the exception of Lynn Hill, and a few other women, it's very much like a boys club.
00:06:13When I started climbing, the first person I learned about was Lynn Hill.
00:06:18She was the first to free climb a route on El Capitan called the Nose.
00:06:23And then the following year, she went back and free climbed it in a day, which was the
00:06:30most groundbreaking, astonishing achievement.
00:06:34I didn't feel like I needed to prove anything after that, because I was at the age where I
00:06:39wanted to have a kid, I wanted to have a family, and having the freedom to just go rock climbing
00:06:45was not going to happen forever.
00:06:47At a certain point, you have to be happy with what you've done.
00:07:02I was in Yosemite looking for a project, some sort of inspiration.
00:07:08I was working on my personal quest to free solo El Cap on the Freerider, and she was willing
00:07:13to go up the wall to support me for a day of climbing.
00:07:15I got really excited, because climbing with Alex on El Cap is like playing basketball with
00:07:20Michael Jordan.
00:07:21It's like you're with the best of the best.
00:07:25First time I met Emily was at a cliff called Jail House.
00:07:28She was already a very established, very successful climber.
00:07:32She was a lot better than me.
00:07:34And the thing that really made an impression was that she was all kind of done up, and she
00:07:37had earrings and things.
00:07:38And I was like, man, how can someone climb that hard with earrings?
00:07:42She was just so well put together, and going to college, and doing the hardest thing at
00:07:46the cliff.
00:07:46Everything about it was just different than what I was living.
00:07:49I was like, whoa, that's a different level.
00:07:53You could tell he just didn't really care about anything but climbing.
00:07:57And he is very famous for free soloing, which is rock climbing without a rope.
00:08:04No person does what he does at his level.
00:08:11I was incredibly inspired by the way he moved.
00:08:16He was so perfect.
00:08:19He seems so at ease, and I've always envied that.
00:08:23With the green ground, you can climb up to the spire and like reflake the rope and manage.
00:08:28I'm just trying to nurture you into a simul-climbing machine.
00:08:35Good work.
00:08:37Yeah, good work.
00:08:39Good work.
00:08:40That was good.
00:08:41There's no way I would have done any of that without you.
00:08:44Isn't that pretty rad?
00:08:45That was pretty rad.
00:08:46That was a life experience.
00:08:48Yeah.
00:08:49I don't think you can do that in a day.
00:08:51You do?
00:08:52Yeah.
00:08:53I don't think it'd be that bad for you, because you just have the base fitness that you need,
00:08:56you know?
00:08:56Yeah.
00:08:57It'd definitely be a dream.
00:08:59Yeah, it'd be sick.
00:09:00It's got to start somewhere.
00:09:01Yeah.
00:09:03I mean, you know.
00:09:05That's when I first thought of trying to free climb El Cap in less than 24 hours.
00:09:12Climbing it in a day is the epitome of hard rock climbing.
00:09:16And there's a desire to prove myself.
00:09:18Like, I do deserve to be here.
00:09:20I do deserve to be climbing with all of these people that I've looked up to and idolized
00:09:25for a long time.
00:09:27That's awesome.
00:09:28That's pretty good.
00:09:29I was staggered too.
00:09:31It's the sense of belonging that I want.
00:09:48I see some big wet streaks, but I also see dry rock, so it's kind of a mixed bag up
00:09:55there.
00:09:57It is not going to change a single thing.
00:10:03Most people free climb El Cap over five days or so.
00:10:06It's so much harder to free climb El Cap in a day.
00:10:11The difference between doing a multi-day ascent and doing a one-day ascent is huge.
00:10:16To climb that thing in a day, it's outrageous.
00:10:19It's an audacious undertaking.
00:10:23I'm left wondering whether she can pull it off.
00:10:28Most people who free climb El Cap in a day have done it via the free rider because it's the
00:10:33easiest route.
00:10:34I wanted to do a more challenging route, and that's why I chose Golden Gate.
00:10:41There are very few climbers who have free climbed any route on El Cap in a day other than the
00:10:46free rider.
00:10:47Golden Gate is quite a bit harder.
00:10:50Golden Gate has only been free climbed in a day by three people.
00:10:53Three of the best El Cap climbers in the world.
00:11:00These guys are heroes of mine, and I want to be a part of that group.
00:11:11Golden Gate has 34 pitches.
00:11:14My goal is to climb from the beginning of each pitch to the end without falling.
00:11:19That will be a free ascent.
00:11:21If I fall, I have to go back to the beginning of that pitch and try again.
00:11:26And I need to do this in under 24 hours.
00:11:36That's going to be really hard for her.
00:11:38I give her a 20% chance of sending, honestly.
00:11:42She just hasn't paid her dues like Honnold has.
00:11:52It's hard to put yourself out there and say you're going to try to do the hardest thing you've ever
00:11:57done.
00:11:58Just because I'm trying to protect myself from people finding out that I'm afraid or that I fail or that
00:12:04I'm just like everyone else.
00:12:08I mean, I don't want to say it's mansplaining, but primarily there's men that have accomplished this goal.
00:12:13And so it's like I get a lot of advice and it's a lot of like, oh, you need to
00:12:18be committed to this and you need to go here for this amount of time and you need to do
00:12:21it this way.
00:12:22And you should be doing this and you should be doing that.
00:12:24I've been climbing for 22 years.
00:12:27Like I know how to approach a goal.
00:12:31I don't need someone to tell me how to do it.
00:12:35But obviously that's a hard, that's a hard thing to convince yourself of as well.
00:12:40It's hard for me to convince myself that I know what I'm doing.
00:12:44Do you think I need more than one three?
00:12:45I wouldn't even take the three.
00:12:46Oh my God.
00:12:48Maybe I don't need this and two purples.
00:12:51I always had it in my mind ever since he asked me to support him that he would probably be
00:12:56willing to support me on Golden Gate.
00:12:59I'd like to think I may be the best supporter in the world for El Cap just because I know
00:13:04the roots really well.
00:13:05I've worked on them a long time.
00:13:06I don't think anyone has climbed any of those parts of the wall faster.
00:13:09Are you climbing the monster with just one six?
00:13:11Yeah.
00:13:12Awesome.
00:13:12And I wanted to help Emily achieve this big dream of hers.
00:13:16Alex is very comfortable, very confident, but I also trust him.
00:13:20Having someone up there who you can tell is right at home makes me feel that much more comfortable.
00:13:27I'll give you that.
00:13:28Go up and try your best and...
00:13:30That's all I'm doing.
00:13:30I'm just going to go try.
00:13:31Move by move, you just do your best and see how it plays out.
00:13:34I'm allowed to fall.
00:13:36Yeah, I mean, that's the beautiful thing you ever rope.
00:13:38It's like a good shit.
00:13:40I'm really happy that I have a rope.
00:13:45You're not a rope.
00:13:54I'm really happy that I found that I was just going to help her, too.
00:13:58I've already had enough to move.
00:13:59I don't know what it was like.
00:13:59There.
00:14:04There.
00:14:08There.
00:14:10There you go.
00:14:11I'm going to take a time, enjoy.
00:14:16Remember, climbing mountain is fun.
00:14:35The way that I climb the bottom 2,000 feet of the route with Alex is something called simul climbing.
00:14:40So I'm leading, placing gear, and Alex is following, climbing at the same time as me.
00:14:46So we're moving up the wall together, and it enables you to move a lot faster,
00:14:52but it cuts some corners because you're placing less safety equipment between yourself and your partner.
00:14:58So if either of us falls, we can get severely injured or we could die.
00:15:03But this is really the only way to climb it in a day.
00:15:08I was kind of proud of myself, honestly.
00:15:10Yeah, that was good.
00:15:11I just hand-over-handed the rope. I was like, fuck that.
00:15:34That was the easiest that the monster has ever felt, but it's still really hard.
00:15:40That was way faster than ever before.
00:15:43Oh, yeah?
00:15:43Yeah, like 45 minutes.
00:15:48You've found 2,000 feet already. You may as well climb one more picture.
00:15:51I'm going to try. I don't know if I can, though.
00:15:53Yeah, of course you can. Just get in there and engage.
00:15:59Alright, you need someone to, like, punch in the nuts.
00:16:00I have nuts.
00:16:02Ovaries.
00:16:03Ovaries.
00:16:10Good job, Dad.
00:16:15You're doing great.
00:16:16Thank you. I really appreciate it. I'm really digging deep here.
00:16:18You know, this is, uh...
00:16:20This is my first effort.
00:16:21Yeah.
00:16:22Do you think it's worth giving it one to the death effort?
00:16:25I mean, I've been trying to give it to the death.
00:16:27Yeah, well, is that to the death?
00:16:28It seems a little, like, worky.
00:16:31If we decide to go down, let's fully debrief.
00:16:34Like, what are you going to do differently?
00:16:35What are you going to do better?
00:16:36Where can you save energy?
00:16:38Yeah.
00:16:39Because, I mean, obviously there's a ton of room for improvement today.
00:16:41A lot of room for improvement.
00:16:47Yeah, that's crazy.
00:16:53It just went from perfectly okay to perfectly not okay.
00:16:58Oh!
00:16:59Oh, my God, it hurts so bad.
00:17:07Hey, give me a hug.
00:17:08Oh, you needed a hug from you all day.
00:17:11These bruises are just all from one pitch.
00:17:14I was secretly happy that we got rained off because everything just felt so hard.
00:17:24I don't really foresee me trying again this spring.
00:17:27I'm kind of worked over from the season.
00:17:31I didn't feel ready, and I haven't put in the work in order to be successful.
00:17:54Oh!
00:17:55That was her first wetsuit.
00:17:58Look at how tiny that little thing is.
00:18:00Here you go.
00:18:02Here's a bunch of trophies.
00:18:05Climbing stuff first place.
00:18:10Junior nationals.
00:18:12Oh, when she was 12 years old.
00:18:15I don't remember what that one was.
00:18:19What's that one from?
00:18:22Cirrus shovel.
00:18:23Oh, yeah, this is the World Cup she won.
00:18:28Oh, there's the little mohawk.
00:18:30Look at that mohawk.
00:18:35I would say I had like a very normal childhood.
00:18:40My dad was really into any activity that was in the mountains.
00:18:45Ski.
00:18:50Turns.
00:18:51Growing up, I had this idea that girls were inferior in some way.
00:18:58I desperately wanted to prove that I wasn't like that.
00:19:05I grew up with my two cousins who were boys,
00:19:08and we were super competitive with each other.
00:19:11All I wanted to do was be better than them.
00:19:15I wanted to do well in everything, and I tried really hard.
00:19:23When I found climbing, this switch went off.
00:19:29It was like instantly that's what I wanted to do.
00:19:34The feeling of lightness and strength and invincibility was pretty profound.
00:19:46I liked the feeling of success.
00:19:52And if I didn't measure up to that,
00:19:57I was so upset and disappointed.
00:20:04Competitions.
00:20:05Being the best.
00:20:07Winning.
00:20:08To me, that was what climbing was.
00:20:15I definitely started putting more pressure on myself.
00:20:19My self-worth was so tied to my success in climbing.
00:20:24And then my success in climbing was tied to my weight.
00:20:30The less mass you have, the easier it's going to be to stay on the wall.
00:20:35It just became this cycle of punishment.
00:20:38I remember being completely exhausted all the time.
00:20:43She was so thin.
00:20:46And I didn't know what to do.
00:20:47And I remember her hands were orange.
00:20:51Because all she was eating was carrots.
00:20:53And I wasn't sleeping well.
00:20:56And I was dizzy sometimes.
00:21:00And then climbing wasn't very fun.
00:21:04I feel like I barely laughed.
00:21:09I started realizing that this isn't how I want to live my life.
00:21:13And is climbing going to be a positive force in my life?
00:21:18Or is it always going to be this negative thing?
00:21:24I guess now is the best time, and here is the best place to say this.
00:21:28I have an eating disorder.
00:21:30I can't admit it to anybody else, but at least I can admit it to myself.
00:21:35I feel out of control when I indulge in food.
00:21:38And my all-or-nothing behavior makes me depressed and unhappy.
00:21:43I don't ever give myself a break.
00:21:45I want to be perfect all the time.
00:21:48I must run fast, climb strong, and eat as little as possible.
00:22:01Eventually, my body and my brain just couldn't really handle all the stress and the pressures.
00:22:07I realized that competing wasn't something that I really wanted to do anymore.
00:22:16The pivotal thing that happened was I joined the North Face athlete team
00:22:21and got invited on an expedition to Mount Everest.
00:22:28I had no idea what it would do for me in my life.
00:22:34She was keen to try out mountain climbing.
00:22:38So I was like, oh, first mountain climbing trip? How about Everest?
00:22:42A little bit crazy, but why not?
00:22:46It's the tallest and most precipitous mountain range on our planet.
00:22:50If you want to test your mettle, that's where you go.
00:22:53I remember just saying, Emily, no, I do not want you going to Everest.
00:22:59Tim said to her, you're not going. And she said, Dad, I'm not 16.
00:23:04And that was the end of that.
00:23:08Emily at 25, barely coming out of the gym as a gym climber and then being on Everest.
00:23:15I mean, that's a huge leap to me.
00:23:17I was a little like dark in those days, so I might have just totally written her off as a
00:23:25first impression.
00:23:26You know, just kind of like, whatever.
00:23:36It wasn't until I got there and realized that Conrad was like completely hands off with Emily.
00:23:41And he was like, well, you step in, you know, and I'm like, I don't even know her.
00:23:44I don't want to do this. I'm not a mentor.
00:23:47I was not very helpful. I definitely am not an incredibly sympathetic person.
00:23:58I'm ready to go up tomorrow.
00:24:00I'm a little nervous and scared to go through the icefall.
00:24:06That's knowledge.
00:24:08Happens like five times a day.
00:24:11It's really unnerving.
00:24:17I want to get through the icefall and then I'll feel okay.
00:24:28Conrad saw something in her and he was right.
00:24:35She just didn't give in.
00:24:48I came to care immensely for Emily over the time of that trip.
00:24:54We talked about my relationship. We talked about my climbing.
00:24:57We talked about her kids and how much she missed her kids and just life.
00:25:01And it gave me a peek into what my life could be like in the future.
00:25:06I'm sorry.
00:25:11Hey.
00:25:13I'm at the South Coal.
00:25:16Getting ready to go up for the summit.
00:25:24Just stuck behind a line of people.
00:25:28She passed me and she was by herself.
00:25:30And I was like, Emily, why are you by yourself?
00:25:31Where's the Sherpa that you were climbing with?
00:25:34She was like, Oh God, I feel so bad.
00:25:36I, he was slow.
00:25:37So I left him behind.
00:25:39Was that really bad?
00:25:40Should I go back and get him?
00:25:48She crushed it.
00:25:51It was so out of her main sport that it just was all the more of a huge achievement.
00:25:59As a climber, you're the sum total of all your ascents and expeditions.
00:26:04And each experience that you have builds into who you are as a climber.
00:26:10Emily got that.
00:26:11I was a lot stronger than I thought I would be.
00:26:15Climbing on Everest has made me appreciate the style of climbing that I do.
00:26:20I do want to continue to be in the mountains and to learn from them.
00:26:42Good morning.
00:26:44Good morning.
00:26:45Here's your coffee.
00:26:50I stayed up late last night and get all these emails and like texts with China and Nepal
00:26:54fall into that and I'm like scared to turn on their phone and see what everyone wrote.
00:26:59Come back to bed.
00:27:01No.
00:27:03I have an interview in 15 minutes.
00:27:06Okay, I'll make breakfast.
00:27:09Hi, this is Adrian.
00:27:12Doing some final prep for a big trip I'm leaving on early next week.
00:27:16You know, the average Everest expedition is two months long and I'm probably away, you know,
00:27:22seven to eight months a year still traveling and climbing around the world.
00:27:28Adrian is a high altitude climber and a mountain guide who spends a lot of time in the Himalaya.
00:27:35We met at Camp 2 on Mount Everest.
00:27:41I just remember this charismatic guy.
00:27:44He was super nice and fun to talk to.
00:27:48The sad fact of high altitude climbing is there's just not many women.
00:27:53I certainly noticed Emily as an anomaly.
00:27:57But 21,000 feet is really miserable.
00:28:00So you kind of like have a crushing headache at the same time that you're trying to be like social
00:28:04and funny and interesting.
00:28:05It's not like a great flooding opportunity.
00:28:08It was this really powerful connection that we had.
00:28:11I'd never felt like that with anyone before.
00:28:14And we knew that we wanted to stay connected.
00:28:19Adrian is gone most of the year guiding in the Himalaya.
00:28:23And because I have this big project I'm working on, we are going to spend the next four months apart.
00:28:30Cool.
00:28:30I don't really look forward to this time of year as it is.
00:28:34Because Adrian is going to be gone for a really long time.
00:28:37And I have a lot of, like I put a lot of pressure on myself for my own projects.
00:28:43No.
00:28:46I've spent a lot of time with people who have lost their partner in the mountains.
00:28:50And every time he leaves, I have this part of me that is afraid he won't come back.
00:29:00Yes.
00:29:02The secret stash.
00:29:05Okay, I'm overwhelmed again.
00:29:07I'm going to go eat some toast.
00:29:08I'm really overwhelmed right now.
00:29:10Good luck.
00:29:12Here we go.
00:29:15It kind of sucks.
00:29:20Cat stuff.
00:29:21I have food.
00:29:23Coffee stuff.
00:29:25Music.
00:29:26Music.
00:29:27Bed.
00:29:39And she's off.
00:29:44It's always hard.
00:29:46This one especially.
00:29:58I'm going to Moab because I want to prepare for the upcoming Yosemite season.
00:30:04And Moab is a great place to do that.
00:30:08Last spring, I just wasn't ready.
00:30:11I hadn't put in the work.
00:30:18Look at these nails too.
00:30:20These are the gel nail.
00:30:21Gel nail magic.
00:30:23Supposed to last for like three months.
00:30:28I did not grow up learning how to crack climb.
00:30:32And for climbing in Yosemite, it's a required skill.
00:30:46I wouldn't consider myself a super confident person when I'm standing on the ground.
00:30:50It's more when I'm like climbing that my confidence shines through.
00:31:04I think I did get better technique.
00:31:07It's nice to feel a little more confidence.
00:31:12I'm excited to go do something.
00:31:13I'm excited to see you.
00:31:14...
00:31:16...
00:31:20...
00:31:45I've been in Yosemite now for a few weeks training on Golden Gate.
00:31:49It's been long days hiking in and practicing the harder pitches.
00:31:54It's really the only way to know every pitch for that in a day attempt.
00:32:02There's five hard sections of the route for me.
00:32:07The first one that comes up is the monster.
00:32:10You have to kind of wedge your body into this crack and this pitch is almost 200 feet long.
00:32:17The monster off with is harder if your foot can't bridge the crack.
00:32:20My foot can span between one side of the crack and the other side so I can easily wedge one
00:32:24foot and push upward.
00:32:26If you have a smaller foot it's harder to make upward progress.
00:32:36The next pitch that's really hard for me is called the down climb.
00:32:41There's essentially no hold.
00:32:43You're kind of standing on a less than vertical smooth surface.
00:32:49Just pasting your feet on the wall and using the friction in order to stick.
00:32:55Your balance has to be pretty perfect in order to not get spit off.
00:33:01Oh, that was it.
00:33:05The next hard pitch is called the move.
00:33:08At the end of the pitch there's a really hard boulder problem.
00:33:12So a series of really hard moves.
00:33:18For me it's the most powerful section of the route.
00:33:21It has the hardest single moves.
00:33:26The next section is called the golden desert.
00:33:30It is a really long crack climb mixed with some funky traversing under a roof.
00:33:40And then the very next pitch after that is called the A5 traverse.
00:33:45And that's kind of the pitch that guards you from success.
00:33:50Imagine traversing this steep sloping rail and trying to stand on feet that are the width
00:33:56of dimes.
00:33:58The A5 traverse is the spot where most people fail.
00:34:01By the time you've climbed almost 3000 feet to get there your arms are just incredibly tired
00:34:05and it's really hard to hang on them.
00:34:10I'm still a little nervous about the A5 traverse.
00:34:12I'm still a little nervous about the A5 traverse.
00:34:42Thankfully, Adrian came home from Everest.
00:34:45Everything was fine, but there was weeks there
00:34:48where I thought he might not.
00:34:51It's not really that safe, even if you make good decisions.
00:34:54Is it true?
00:34:56That I thought you might die?
00:34:57Yeah.
00:34:59I thought you might die, and I was trying to be.
00:35:01So you figured you'd stop moving on right away?
00:35:03Yeah.
00:35:04Just going to be a bachelorette
00:35:06and be just in my little world, independent.
00:35:10It could happen.
00:35:11And it could be the other way around.
00:35:13Yeah.
00:35:13I think I think about it less,
00:35:15but I think about it sometimes
00:35:16as you start speed climbing more and more,
00:35:18cutting corners, rock fall.
00:35:22There's plenty of things that can kill you.
00:35:23It's a little bit of a stretch, but I'm not going to die.
00:35:26I'm not going to die rock climbing.
00:35:28But you've got to think about it
00:35:29and acknowledge it's a possibility.
00:35:30It's true.
00:35:31I just think that I've finally come to a place where I'm okay.
00:35:37Okay.
00:35:37Not okay, but more okay.
00:35:41More okay is good.
00:35:43Yeah.
00:35:50Okay, questions.
00:35:52Okay, get married already.
00:35:53When are you getting married?
00:35:54Are you going to have babies?
00:35:55Babies.
00:35:55Yes.
00:35:56Get married already.
00:35:58Do you plan on having kids soon?
00:36:01Okay.
00:36:04I do plan on having kids eventually, I think.
00:36:07I want one kid, so I'm not really in like a huge rush.
00:36:12I, I say we, right?
00:36:15I think I've come around.
00:36:16We kind of settled on one, because Adrian wanted like three.
00:36:20Team.
00:36:20He wanted three.
00:36:22But I just want one, so I'm not in a rush.
00:36:24And I have like, we both have things we want to do first.
00:36:27I've got a couple about asking me about LCAP and what happened,
00:36:30and if I'm going back, basically I failed.
00:36:34And I also had terrible weather, but that's like a second part of it that prevented me from succeeding.
00:36:41And yes, I'm going back in the fall.
00:37:00So we got two liters of water.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:02I have extra chalk.
00:37:04Okay.
00:37:05Cool.
00:37:05I'm going to put the air on it.
00:37:06Are you taking that much extra chalk?
00:37:08I'm very concerned about the heat.
00:37:10It weighs nothing.
00:37:12I guess.
00:37:12It just, it seems like a lot of chalk for, yeah, cool.
00:37:15We don't have to bring it.
00:37:16No, no.
00:37:17No, but I actually really want it.
00:37:18If you think it'll make you feel better, it definitely makes me feel better.
00:37:20Okay.
00:37:21Extra chalk.
00:37:21I'm bringing these.
00:37:22It's really hot.
00:37:23What are those?
00:37:24They're breakable ice packs for my hands and feet.
00:37:28That seems totally absurd.
00:37:30So if we want to climb by three, what time should we meet in the meadow?
00:37:32Well, like 2.30.
00:37:342.30.
00:37:36That's like pretty early though.
00:37:37Pretty early.
00:37:58Okay.
00:38:07Alright.
00:38:07That's perfect.
00:38:08huh? Nice shot,
00:38:09huh. Bye. Nice
00:38:20shot,
00:38:21Matt. Nice shot.
00:38:24Cowboots.
00:38:25Can you do it?
00:38:45Come on, come on.
00:38:47Come on, come on.
00:38:49Come on, hold it.
00:38:51Come on.
00:38:53Yeah, fuck yeah.
00:38:54Come on.
00:38:56Very good.
00:38:57Come on now.
00:39:02All right.
00:39:08If you do it today, in this style, just like you just did it,
00:39:13it'd be pretty sick.
00:39:16Think about how good that's going to feel.
00:39:17I can't yet.
00:39:18I've got to finish the rest of it.
00:39:28Yeah, we started 11 and a half hours ago, so it's a good time, actually.
00:39:34This is when you rely on your World Cup fitness.
00:39:50I'm pretty sure you can just climb one more pitch.
00:39:54Pretty sure there's like five more pitches.
00:40:14I'm falling.
00:40:14No, no, you're okay.
00:40:15Come on.
00:40:16Come on.
00:40:16No, it's too much.
00:40:17Stay with it.
00:40:19It just fucked everything up and like...
00:40:23That's all right.
00:40:24Oh my God.
00:40:25It just like, had like shit.
00:40:31Really good.
00:40:32Yeah, really good.
00:40:40Ellen.
00:40:42Ellen.
00:40:43Come on.
00:40:44There you go.
00:40:46Oh, fuck.
00:40:47I don't have it, you guys.
00:40:48I don't have it.
00:40:51I'm just too tired.
00:40:54I'm giving it everything I have.
00:40:56I just couldn't do it.
00:41:00I couldn't keep climbing.
00:41:03I'm like super bummed, but it's like everything I could possibly do.
00:41:09I failed on the last hard pitch.
00:41:13Pretty heartbroken.
00:41:28I think you have to try things that you're afraid of, that you might suck at, that you're
00:41:35going to most likely fail at in order to actually really get to know yourself and know what you're
00:41:43capable of.
00:41:49When I was trying to figure out how to make a team to go on this seven week, totally unknown,
00:41:57jungle bashing,
00:41:59crazy Alpine, Myanmar expedition, I wanted Emily to go.
00:42:04Like, I wanted her to go more than anyone.
00:42:08Like, I wouldn't go if Emily didn't go.
00:42:11This is like an anti-Everest trip.
00:42:18Think of Everest.
00:42:19From the minute you get off the plane to the summit of Everest, every step of the way is mapped
00:42:23out.
00:42:25Hakaka Boratze was exactly the opposite.
00:42:29Wanting her on the team was met with a lot of resistance.
00:42:32But I put my foot down and she was stoked to do it.
00:42:45It was a month before we even got to be scanned.
00:42:49We had to cut our gear by two thirds.
00:42:53Ran out of food.
00:43:04A lot of the things that I did today I've never done before.
00:43:22It's scary with the heavy pack.
00:43:24I feel it off that one's a little.
00:43:26Good job, ma'am.
00:43:31Way more rad.
00:43:33Way more gnarly than Everest.
00:43:38My favorite day on that whole climb was Emily and I were stuck on this ridge for 48 hours.
00:43:48Winds blowing 60 miles an hour nonstop.
00:43:53And at one point Emily looks at me and she's like, what do you think?
00:43:57Do you think we're going to be okay?
00:43:58I looked at her and I was like, I don't, I don't know.
00:44:01I hope so.
00:44:03And she was like, all right, cool.
00:44:06Okay.
00:44:10And five minutes later we're laughing and like doing what we can to like stay alive.
00:44:18Emily and I have talked a lot about how crazy it was and how strung out we were and how
00:44:23close
00:44:24to just like laying down on the trail and giving up we were and we just didn't.
00:44:31She was everything I expected her to be on that trip.
00:44:35She was gritty.
00:44:36She was funny.
00:44:37She helped me when I was low.
00:44:39She tackled massive scary things.
00:44:583.30 in the morning, November 20 something.
00:45:09Dragged everyone into helping me climb El Cap in a day.
00:45:15A massive snowstorm is approaching like tomorrow, so.
00:45:20Day after tomorrow.
00:45:21Last day of the season basically.
00:45:23Dragging everyone up here to support me one more time.
00:45:26One more character building day on the mountain.
00:45:28One more character building day on the mountain.
00:45:31It's like 4 a.m.
00:45:33It's way colder than it was last time so that's good.
00:45:36If you were really pro you'd be racked onto the harness already.
00:45:38Pack your harness that way.
00:45:40Oh yeah, I didn't do that.
00:45:43I'm gonna beat it off, huh?
00:45:45Ten more feet today, okay?
00:45:47Yeah, exactly, exactly.
00:45:49Ten more feet today.
00:45:53Go, Em, go.
00:45:54Here we go.
00:45:55You're gonna crush it.
00:45:57Thanks, Sonny.
00:46:04Hi, Sam.
00:46:07You're crushing.
00:46:09It's such a still day up on the captain.
00:46:30Creaky old grandpa.
00:46:32I'll sit down and tighten the shoes up.
00:46:36Nice, Em.
00:46:38Oh my God.
00:46:44Are you okay, Em?
00:46:46Emily, are you okay?
00:46:49Em?
00:46:50Holy shit.
00:46:52Oh my God, Em.
00:46:56Should I lower you to the ledge?
00:46:57Emily, you're okay.
00:47:02Laura?
00:47:03Em?
00:47:05Talk to us.
00:47:07Talk to us, Em.
00:47:08Are you okay?
00:47:09Are you right side up?
00:47:13She's not right side up.
00:47:15Fuck.
00:47:16Can you confirm me your number is 404-610?
00:47:18Correct.
00:47:19Okay, I'm gonna be on hold while I try to get a ranger, okay?
00:47:22Okay, thank you.
00:47:30Hang in there, Em.
00:47:36You know, I can tell that it's terrible.
00:47:37It's all terrible.
00:47:38Like, you can tell it's a giant fall.
00:47:41The only thing I was thinking about was whether or not she'll walk again.
00:48:20I've never planned this pitch so many times.
00:48:22I know it's slippery, but I've never fallen.
00:48:25I know my feet are cold, but I need to be confident.
00:48:30I wasn't scared.
00:48:32I just...
00:48:35Now it's scary, though, to think about.
00:48:49Oh, I'm sorry, guys.
00:49:00Yeah.
00:49:01Still have some stuff to learn, I guess.
00:49:03What?
00:49:34High-class climber Emily Harrington trying to make history, falling from Yosemite's El Capitan, rescued by one of the most
00:49:40famous climbers in the world.
00:49:41Falls are apparel of the sport, no matter your skill level. Thank goodness she was with people like Alex Hunnell.
00:49:48The climber at the center of that Oscar-winning documentary Free Solo.
00:49:51I was blank, so I'm holding the rope. But then when she fell, so much rope fell into the system,
00:49:55like so much rope pooled at my feet, basically, that I wound up actually grabbing the rope with my hands
00:50:01in an effort to catch her sooner.
00:50:02I don't know if you guys had a chance to watch Free Solo.
00:50:05Oh, he was.
00:50:06I mean, it's amazing what they do. And boy, you're going to have some nerves of steel.
00:50:10Yes, you do.
00:50:11You sure do.
00:50:12Full recovery.
00:50:15How are you feeling about it all?
00:50:18Shitty.
00:50:19Shitty?
00:50:19Shitty about it.
00:50:20Like sad?
00:50:21Yeah.
00:50:24Everyone is interested in El Cap and everyone is interested in the fact that I was climbing with Alex Hunnell.
00:50:30So they want to write a story about the damsel in distress who was rescued by the Free Solo star.
00:50:37Oh, adrenaline junkies, like, risking their lives and falling off of sheer cliffs and gets rescued.
00:50:44Like, it's just stupid and not true. And it's misunderstood. I had a bad fall climbing because rock climbing is
00:50:51inherently dangerous. But...
00:50:53And Alex did what exactly what any good partner would do.
00:50:57Yeah. And that's the end of the story.
00:50:59That close to me, I don't...
00:51:02We were choosing to take a certain level of risk that day. It was 100% not his fault what
00:51:10happened.
00:51:10It was 100% not his fault.
00:51:43I was afraid of not being good enough. And now the entire world thinks that as well.
00:51:56She is no Alex Hunnell. Do this without the security of a rope and then you can pretend to have
00:52:02accomplished something.
00:52:05Woman, go back to kitchen, please. Let man's doing this stuff.
00:52:11She's too fat.
00:52:28I'm bruised and have a rope burn on my neck and a pretty intense concussion.
00:52:33I'm slowly recovering, but mentally I'm struggling.
00:52:41I just spiral into the negativity of, oh, I'm never going to be able to get anywhere with this.
00:52:50Lots of doubt and lots of questioning of, like, why am I doing this? Why am I even, like, trying
00:52:56so hard?
00:52:57And just feel like giving up.
00:53:00There's just this really big fear and it's all circling around, like, the whole kid thing and the...
00:53:05the clock is ticking idea and I really do want to have fun and enjoy climbing. I do. I just
00:53:13don't know how right now.
00:53:15Yeah.
00:53:16It's hard to trust myself, I guess.
00:53:34It's Passover. Happy Passover, guys.
00:53:37Hogsamehack, John.
00:53:38Hogsamehack to you.
00:53:39And, uh, we can tell that it's Passover because we are in our houses,
00:53:43hiding from a plague, and because in a recent...
00:53:46Breakfast, podcast, very loud podcast.
00:53:48That smearing blood on your door will stop coronavirus.
00:53:52Tell me that.
00:53:54We are one day short of a month since we've been home.
00:53:58April 12th, Easter Sunday, and...
00:54:04it's Sunday, but it doesn't really matter that it's Sunday.
00:54:07Every day is pretty much very similar.
00:54:15Adrian and I have been physically together for longer than we have ever been.
00:54:21It's felt like this period of deep connection.
00:54:26What's your favorite color?
00:54:28This is, like, a rapid-fire question.
00:54:31Oh, really? I actually...
00:54:33What's your favorite color?
00:54:35Gray.
00:54:36Gray?
00:54:38That's a terrible favorite color.
00:54:40It's supposed to be okay from mine.
00:54:41My favorite color is green.
00:54:44Really?
00:54:45Yeah.
00:54:45I never knew that.
00:54:46Well, you learn something new every day, don't you?
00:54:48I don't think I've ever bought you anything green.
00:54:50Better start now.
00:54:55We've discussed starting a family in more serious ways,
00:54:59but I really have to finish this project
00:55:03before I can start thinking about taking that stuff.
00:55:06I don't want to take eight years to free climb Mellow Cap in a day.
00:55:09Then I'll be 40, and then, you know, it might be too late.
00:55:25If I let something like fear,
00:55:28something like an accident stop me from doing something,
00:55:32then I'll never go back.
00:55:34I'll never try something hard again.
00:55:36This is no longer just a way to prove myself.
00:55:40It's a way for me to gain back trust and confidence in myself.
00:55:48I need to go back.
00:55:58I've been really gentle with myself,
00:56:01just accepting that I'm probably going to be a little more conservative this year.
00:56:05I think I need to talk to Alex about adjusting my method
00:56:08and just be like, dude, I don't want to, like, go so fast.
00:56:12I want to be able to stop and take a breather,
00:56:14and I want to be able to place more gear
00:56:16and feel way more safe.
00:56:34So it begins.
00:56:37Emily's Yosemite season.
00:56:443 a.m.
00:56:46I'm out of bed and coffee.
00:56:50M's waiting for a coffee.
00:56:52The life of a superstar.
00:56:57How's it feeling?
00:56:58It's okay.
00:56:59Where I fell last year.
00:57:00Where you fell last year.
00:57:02Yeah.
00:57:05I'm back in Yosemite for the first time since the accident,
00:57:08and Adrian's been helping me train on the hard pitches
00:57:11and build back that trust.
00:57:14Down to the move pitch.
00:57:18Yes.
00:57:19Dun, dun, dun!
00:57:21Oh.
00:57:24Yes.
00:57:25There was no, like, massive screaming whippers out of the move today.
00:57:30You just hit it every time.
00:57:32You're stronger.
00:57:32Big support today.
00:57:36You're welcome.
00:57:40Physically, I feel better than I have probably ever in my life.
00:57:45I'm trying to figure out the best tactics for climbing the monster.
00:57:50And so I'm going to try putting on my climbing shoe,
00:57:53and then I'm going to try putting on a size 42 TC Pro over top of it
00:57:59to make my foot bigger.
00:58:08I'm so excited about this.
00:58:15And so what time are we thinking about starting?
00:58:17Let's say starting the monster at 6 a.m.,
00:58:19which means starting climbing at 1 a.m.
00:58:23That's what I was hoping to do tonight, you know?
00:58:25I know.
00:58:25Get some.
00:58:26You signed up for it.
00:58:27Yeah, no, no.
00:58:28I'm into it.
00:58:28Yeah, knee pads and duct tape and elbow pads.
00:58:31At this point, you're going to get to the top more fresh
00:58:33than when you left the ground.
00:58:35I think it'd be tough to make this more comfortable.
00:58:37Yeah, that's the whole point.
00:58:39I think it's, yeah, exactly.
00:58:40We're ready for the long haul right now.
00:58:43I'm planning to have two partners.
00:58:45It is really valuable to have Alex as a partner because he is so fast.
00:58:50But up higher when the climbing gets slower,
00:58:52I really like having Adrian there.
00:58:55He's really good emotional support for me.
00:59:06Go get her.
00:59:07Go get her.
00:59:08Move slowly and then, like, see how I feel when I get to that.
00:59:11Yeah, cool.
00:59:12It's the same time tomorrow as today, basically.
00:59:14I do feel ready.
00:59:15I don't think I'm going to be any more ready than I am right now.
00:59:19If I achieve this, I'll never not be a climber,
00:59:23but I can, like, move on from being, like, solely focused on climbing.
00:59:27Like, I can move forward with my life.
00:59:29I could have a family.
00:59:30Like, I could do all these things I've wanted to do
00:59:32that might not require so much, like, pinpointed focus.
00:59:38It's that meaningful.
00:59:56You're welcome.
01:00:01It's beautiful.
01:00:03I'm grateful.
01:00:04It's beautiful.
01:00:17At some point in here I'm going to have to tie my shoes and put them on and sort of
01:00:20like
01:00:20oh I've got flashbacks of last year.
01:00:23PTSD.
01:00:23Exactly.
01:00:25Oh my god, jeez.
01:00:41I'm going to run around to the top and hopefully get to meet them like two-thirds of the way
01:00:45up.
01:00:48Alright Sam, really smooth.
01:00:53Oh Sam.
01:00:54She's done the free blast.
01:00:57Yes.
01:00:58Great job, Deidre.
01:01:00How do you feel?
01:01:01Okay.
01:01:27It's so funny that you're wearing two pairs of shoes.
01:01:32Oh um, yes I can.
01:02:05Oh so glad to have that bitch over with I'm taking off all of my shoes all four
01:02:10pairs of them that I was wearing I was wearing Alex's shoes over my shoes so I
01:02:18could climb the monster easier and faster and it works
01:02:25let's say it's not often that I encounter a completely new rock climbing technique
01:02:29on a big wall this is one of those times you've styled the hard stuff next and
01:02:35is gonna lead us to the summit of the mighty El Capitan that's what's
01:02:38happening next
01:02:51good um really nice
01:03:01nice and relaxed
01:03:09just be perfect perfect
01:03:31I'm not coming down off the mountain until I set this route I'm never climbing that pitch
01:03:42again
01:03:43nice and really smooth
01:03:50I gotta say you look really fit right now like your arms are like muscular
01:03:58thanks Alex
01:04:00like have you been like working out more
01:04:04yeah I've been putting some effort in
01:04:07like have you really because you look like freaking kind of jacks
01:04:11yeah yeah dude I have
01:04:15nice
01:04:18really good come on
01:04:20so strong
01:04:21come on
01:04:37that's it come on
01:04:38really good
01:04:53I did dig really deep for that one
01:04:57I set the move pitch on my first try
01:05:00everything's going well
01:05:03waiting for the other shoe to drop
01:05:27so exciting
01:05:28up here so fresh
01:05:30you could dirt all over your face but
01:05:32otherwise looking good
01:05:33thanks Alex
01:05:35yeah
01:05:35I feel good
01:05:36he was infinitely better than last time
01:06:18yeah I see you just a little
01:06:28I'm going to bring you down
01:06:29yeah
01:06:29Cut.
01:06:31Hello.
01:06:32You're okay.
01:06:42See how bad it is.
01:06:51Like, I just don't know anymore about this whole hole.
01:06:55It just feels so too hard for me.
01:07:00This stupid shit just keeps happening.
01:07:03No.
01:07:04You're getting better and better every time.
01:07:06I know.
01:07:07I just don't feel good enough right now.
01:07:18I wanted it so badly.
01:07:21Maybe I just wanted it too much.
01:07:30This worked really hard.
01:07:32I know.
01:07:33You're not done, Em.
01:07:36You're not done.
01:07:40Stupid.
01:07:41Why did that have to happen?
01:07:42I didn't do anything wrong.
01:07:45I wasn't running it out.
01:07:46I wasn't doing anything wrong.
01:07:49I'm just scared now.
01:07:51You just bumped your head.
01:07:53You're fine.
01:07:55I didn't break anything.
01:07:57I know.
01:08:00I hope they'll do it.
01:08:02You're gonna do it today.
01:08:10It's not hopeless.
01:08:11I promise.
01:08:13I'm trying.
01:08:15I keep trying.
01:08:16I don't have that much confidence anymore.
01:08:20I think you've got more try on you.
01:08:23You know I'd tell you if I didn't.
01:08:25I don't.
01:08:26I don't know.
01:08:27I think you can do it.
01:08:28You can try.
01:09:20I think you've been to conditions for you.
01:09:23You're bothering me.
01:09:26Do what you want, dude. Come on.
01:09:29Yeah.
01:09:30Come on.
01:09:31Don't nap for it.
01:10:03Come on.
01:10:08Come on.
01:10:26Woo!
01:10:27Woo!
01:10:27Woo!
01:10:28Woo!
01:10:36Thanks.
01:10:38No matter what happens, I'm proud of myself.
01:10:42I'm really proud of myself.
01:10:44Look at the sunset.
01:10:49Oh!
01:10:54Gotta keep climbing.
01:10:57Trying to rest before the last heart pitch.
01:11:00The A5.
01:11:01Yeah.
01:11:02The site of...
01:11:05Last time's failure.
01:11:06Last year's failure.
01:11:09Pretty nervous for it.
01:11:12And we're out of water.
01:11:14Yeah, we are out of water.
01:11:15Poor mountain guide planning.
01:11:22You look great.
01:11:23So proud of you.
01:11:24Have fun on this.
01:11:26This is the pitch you earned.
01:11:35Come on.
01:11:41Come on.
01:11:44Come on.
01:11:46Come on.
01:12:02Come on.
01:12:03Come on.
01:12:10There we are.
01:12:12Come on.
01:12:16Come on.
01:12:18Come on.
01:12:22Come on.
01:12:23Come on.
01:12:25Come on.
01:12:41Come on.
01:12:46Come on.
01:12:52Come on.
01:12:56Come on.
01:13:02Yeah.
01:13:05No!
01:13:09Oh my god.
01:13:11Oh my god.
01:13:12Woo!
01:13:15Ow!
01:13:20Oh my god.
01:13:22Woo!
01:13:24Whoo!
01:13:25Woo!
01:13:26Holy shit, Evelyn!
01:13:34I can't believe I did that.
01:13:36Okay, I gotta keep it together.
01:13:38We gotta find more pitches.
01:13:42Dude, that's going so bad.
01:13:45Laser focus.
01:13:47I've always dreamed of being able to do this.
01:13:49And now it's happening, and it's just crazy
01:13:53how it's happening.
01:13:54It was so close so many times to falling just now.
01:13:57So close, but I just didn't fucking let go.
01:14:40Fuck you!
01:14:41Fuck you!
01:15:02I'm really, really happy and exhausted, and my head kind of hurts, and I'm thirsty, and
01:15:09everything is perfect.
01:15:16I love you so much.
01:15:39You did it.
01:15:392113.
01:16:00Oh!
01:16:05You earned that.
01:16:07Mm-hmm.
01:16:30Can I go say hi to everyone?
01:16:31Nice work.
01:16:32Thanks.
01:16:33Well done.
01:16:34You look worse.
01:16:37Actually, you look pretty good.
01:16:38He's went downhill a little bit after he left.
01:16:41I don't know.
01:16:41You have to make it after it, dude.
01:16:43Why'd you leave us?
01:16:45Oh, my God.
01:16:46That is so funny.
01:16:50Dude.
01:16:52Oh, my God.
01:16:55That is so funny.
01:17:12Hey!
01:17:13Oh, my God.
01:17:35Hey...
01:17:43I can still hear her voice in my head and I think about whenever something's hard or something comes
01:17:55up that's feels tricky or feels complicated especially as like a woman and a mother
01:18:02where I try to think about how Hilary would handle it
01:18:19Climbing is dangerous and it entails a level of risk but climbing has given me so much and I'm just
01:18:26not willing to give it up
01:18:33I'm excited for what's next
01:18:36Bye bye
01:18:38Bye bye
01:18:56I know the rise and I know the fall
01:19:01Cause a voice inside knows me best of all
01:19:09If I can't run I'll walk or crawl
01:19:14I'll restart, restart
01:19:18I'll give my all
01:19:23To find my place
01:19:27My place on the wall
01:19:44I'll follow the path into the sky
01:19:48To kiss the heavens before I die
01:19:58Amidst the clouds
01:20:00The world seems small
01:20:03His tired heart
01:20:07Still wants it all
01:20:10I'll find my place
01:20:14My place on the wall
01:20:17I've been through the fall
01:20:27I've been through the fall
01:20:29I've been through the fall
01:20:32I've been through the fall
01:20:34I've been through the fall
01:20:37I've been through the fall
01:20:38I've been through the fall
01:20:39I've been through the fall
01:20:41I've been through the fall
01:20:44I've been through the fall
01:20:47on the wall
01:20:53I
01:20:54found
01:20:54my
01:20:55place
01:20:56my place on the wall
01:20:59I found
01:21:02my place
01:21:03my place
01:21:08on the wall
01:21:17I
01:21:24did
01:21:26I
01:21:26didn't
01:21:46wondered
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