- 2 days ago
Sex Education By My Best Friend
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring, you like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32When are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:53Okay.
00:00:58Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Scarletcher Queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:16But on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it. This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my god, he's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot.
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you? Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:21What are you with me, son?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:34Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts, buttercup.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:40I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:43You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:52All right.
00:02:54I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:42I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your wife a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Now Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:59I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:30Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Hailey.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:50There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:14Aww.
00:05:15You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Give it back.
00:05:32Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmonds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online lover?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:57No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, Valley Queen goes to school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmonds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmonds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:29Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is the new girl.
00:06:33Jen is the new girl.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:41Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:45Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chances, Jen.
00:06:55So is it.
00:06:57She does look kinda cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:17Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:25My name's Hayley.
00:07:26Well, Hayley.
00:07:28I think you, uh...
00:07:29You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:34What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:37Oh, no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her must have filled in the eyes, yeah.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today.
00:08:08I lost the game.
00:08:08I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:18I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than I think.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:30Okay, well, since we're dating now...
00:08:33Um...
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:46Okay.
00:08:47No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Oh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:06Confidence.
00:09:07You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:14Okay.
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:16Oh my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:25Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:36Get out.
00:09:36Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:38Ow!
00:09:40Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:09:48I'm not...
00:10:07It's all over here.
00:10:08I know.
00:10:08How are we?
00:10:09I know.
00:10:12I know.
00:10:12I know.
00:10:14I know.
00:10:18You're helping me.
00:10:19Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31I don't know a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:39Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:40I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:41My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, I know.
00:10:54I love the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:58I mean, I am my type, but, you know, power theory, whatever.
00:11:02Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:17Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:25Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:32Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:50You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:06What are you doing?
00:12:14Oh, my God.
00:12:17Oh, my God.
00:12:20Oh, my God.
00:12:24How are you doing?
00:12:26Let's go.
00:12:29Oh, shit.
00:12:31Oh.
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemies nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36Wait, what?
00:12:37Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:58Delete it, please.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:12:59Finish.
00:13:00Drift, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip.
00:13:11Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:19Oh, my God.
00:13:20Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:24Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:31Jen, no.
00:13:31No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:32Jen, stop.
00:13:35Get over me.
00:13:37No, no.
00:13:43No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:51My school enemy is my online girlfriend?
00:13:55Get over me, Leo.
00:13:58Stop it.
00:13:58Oh my god!
00:14:09Hey. You okay?
00:14:13Give that to me.
00:14:21Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cor? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:33Not good, huh?
00:14:34Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:42She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46Amy's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:51You hear me?
00:14:56Here we are.
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:03Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:20Love you, Mom.
00:15:20Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do, do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Tough day, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:11Oh.
00:16:12I'm really proud of you.
00:16:14And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:20It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:24Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27What?
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:43When?
00:16:43With?
00:16:44After school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring flowers.
00:16:47Deal?
00:16:57I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:24Hailey girl.
00:17:25He was not a nobody dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Hailey is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:47Stay away from Hailey, Cole.
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:56Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Hailey wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I'm Hailey.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:18Mm-hmm.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:22I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:38Ew.
00:18:42Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend to bedick.
00:18:49Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:52And maybe he's sitting on his bike video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:59Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch and so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:10Eat it.
00:19:22Call me.
00:19:24So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter.
00:19:30So you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:34Oh, and by the way, Guacamole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:40Like me.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Guacamole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:59Guacamole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick?
00:20:02That bloody thing up.
00:20:06I think you're gonna record this.
00:20:16Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hailey anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:20Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:22You wanna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:28I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:32I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:35I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:38Got it?
00:20:38Yeah.
00:20:39Let's go.
00:20:48Uh, thank you.
00:20:57Wow.
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just...
00:21:07I happened to see you.
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah.
00:21:12My boyfriend actually.
00:21:16Well, he...
00:21:17He kinda stood me up, so...
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:23Maybe you gotta do it nice today.
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:29You thought we were enemies.
00:21:31I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though.
00:21:33So...
00:21:34Am I that annoying?
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:38Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Ednaz?
00:21:40Cause it's not gonna work.
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:49How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:55He...
00:21:56He makes me feel safe.
00:21:59You wouldn't understand, though.
00:22:05You understand better than you think.
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:12Does he...
00:22:14Let you touch him like this?
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see.
00:22:29No, my...
00:22:31My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:36In the game.
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you lost a lot of the game, too?
00:22:55I can see why he likes you.
00:23:07I can't do this.
00:23:10I love my boyfriend.
00:23:11And you will never understand that.
00:23:13He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:17He loves me for who I am.
00:23:19That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:33Wait. It couldn't be.
00:23:37Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:42There's nothing.
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:54Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life.
00:24:03What was I thinking?
00:24:05We are from two different worlds.
00:24:06He just wants to play with me.
00:24:08But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident.
00:24:19Really? Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:23He was right.
00:24:25Who?
00:24:25Nobody.
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at? I want to come visit you.
00:24:29No, no, you can't. I look miserable now.
00:24:31You need to see me in style.
00:24:34Fine, if you say so.
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:04Oh, you.
00:25:06Oh, me.
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:13People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:26It's okay.
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:29I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:31I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:32Like, uh, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:36What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:41I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:46Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:56So.
00:25:57Are you going to prom?
00:25:59I don't know.
00:26:01So you have a date?
00:26:04Or shall I say victim?
00:26:06Are you jealous of me?
00:26:07Me? Jealous?
00:26:09No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:13You are so full of yourself.
00:26:15You can do this on your own.
00:26:17Yeah.
00:26:19No way.
00:26:21It's a self-locking door.
00:26:23Really?
00:26:24Miss Corma's gonna be back in an hour.
00:26:25I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:26I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:29Okay. Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:34Don't worry.
00:26:35Maybe try something new.
00:26:37We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:39Yeah.
00:26:49That was my first kiss.
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:56It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:10You're really good at this.
00:27:12One day I want you to regret it.
00:27:15You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:32And I've been wanting back a lot more than you think.
00:27:36So you want me?
00:27:40I think you know much I want you.
00:27:46Do you want me?
00:27:48I want you.
00:27:54Oh shit.
00:27:58Anyone in here?
00:28:01Oh my god.
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:03I really need to change this locker.
00:28:06Are you two okay?
00:28:08Yeah.
00:28:08Yeah.
00:28:09We're good.
00:28:10We're okay.
00:28:18You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:22Hey, wait.
00:28:23It's just hormones.
00:28:24Hey, Jake.
00:28:26Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax.
00:28:29I'm not dead.
00:28:29Wait.
00:28:30Car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:38I gotta go.
00:28:46Guacamole wizard?
00:28:48Huh?
00:28:51Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:53Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:07She was in a real car accident.
00:29:09According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:12Cole, wait.
00:29:15Oh shit.
00:29:20What's up guys?
00:29:23We were just chatting.
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:28Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey!
00:29:32Just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:35They're your favorite.
00:29:36Right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:44They're my favorite.
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:54A dickhead?
00:29:57What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:59You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:08There it goes again.
00:30:10Cole is jealous.
00:30:11We got a problem here, Cole.
00:30:13We don't have a problem.
00:30:15We don't have a problem.
00:30:17Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:21Jake, you know it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:25I have the ball now.
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that.
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:40What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:44Yeah.
00:30:45Just one little catch.
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth.
00:30:51All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:54If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:58I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:31:01But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:05You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:07I'm thinking.
00:31:08About the report or about him?
00:31:10Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:12We literally made out of a sword room.
00:31:15Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:16No.
00:31:17You don't.
00:31:18How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:20Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:22You have no idea.
00:31:28Oh my god.
00:31:30Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:38What do you want to have a deal with me?
00:31:44I know.
00:31:45Hey, Lee.
00:31:45Someone's here to see you.
00:31:58are you asking me to prom too cheesy no it's cute the accident the mozzarella sticks
00:32:07he is guacamole wizard so um what do you think you want to go to prom with me i i
00:32:15should feel
00:32:15happy but why does this feel so wrong hey can we not hey can we not dude seriously what is
00:32:28your
00:32:28problem my problem here dude is that me and my lab partner have work to do and you're out here
00:32:32to strike me with bad puns wow that is some weak shit man oh that's weak shit is this weak
00:32:40shit
00:32:43oh my god wow he's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59wait i can't colt put me down put me down put me down don't do that again
00:33:19new couple alert
00:33:21fuck off jen why do you hate me so much cool you and i we're not that different and if
00:33:27you'd realize
00:33:27and give me a chance i think that we would make a great match like say if you asked me
00:33:33to prom
00:33:33i might say yes jen you want to go to prom with me jen you want to go to prom
00:33:42with me
00:33:44we're both hot and we're both rich and our dads have been in business like forever so
00:33:50how romantic i think i'll pass
00:33:54you're gonna regret this cole admins
00:34:01if i message corcamole wizard i wonder if jake's phone were ding
00:34:07what should we wear to prom
00:34:19i'll talk to you later i'll see you around school okay okay yeah i'll see you later bye
00:34:24he's so different maybe he's still recovering from the accident
00:34:30hey
00:34:30hey
00:34:39jeez
00:34:46here i'll get it
00:34:53oh you're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone i don't care i do care
00:35:00here we are
00:35:17don't go to prom with jake
00:35:19i mean he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me he doesn't even know you
00:35:22and you do how do you know i like mozzarella sticks that's something i've only ever talked
00:35:27because i pay attention to what you like
00:35:32i noticed it at lunch the first day you were watching me
00:35:38just don't go to prom with jake
00:35:54move
00:35:56colt is talking to hayley again
00:35:58your job is to keep them away from each other jake
00:36:01unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:04obviously i do
00:36:05okay then break them up idiot
00:36:07uh what do i do
00:36:11i've got a few ideas
00:36:17hey look
00:36:19someone will take you to prom
00:36:21all right i promise
00:36:22yeah really like who
00:36:23i mean the whole school hates me except for jake
00:36:27and you but you're not asking me
00:36:32hey
00:36:33oh hey jake
00:36:34hey how um
00:36:36i just wanted to thank you again for the other night
00:36:40the other night
00:36:42yeah it was
00:36:44so
00:36:45sexy
00:36:47you're so sexy
00:36:48jake what are you talking about
00:36:53hate to break it to you asshole but she's my prom date
00:37:00and she's a real tiger in the pet room
00:37:03oh shit look at me
00:37:06oh shit
00:37:07oh my god
00:37:23stop guys stop it stop stop
00:37:27what the hell is going on over there
00:37:31shit it's principal stevens
00:37:33i've got to save cole
00:37:34i mean jake
00:37:35i've got to save jake
00:37:42oh my god
00:37:43principal stevens
00:37:44i'm so sorry
00:37:48that's detention after school
00:37:50don't be late
00:38:07calm what are you doing here
00:38:09calm what are you doing here
00:38:09can we keep you company
00:38:11at least i could do it if you saved my ass today
00:38:15the locker thing
00:38:16that was an accident
00:38:18oh sure
00:38:21so uh
00:38:22you and
00:38:23you and jake huh
00:38:25no
00:38:27he lied about that
00:38:28i don't know why though
00:38:30good
00:38:31you know
00:38:33father that asshole
00:38:34every time he looks at you
00:38:35makes me sick to my stomach
00:38:37thinking about him touching you
00:38:38kissing you
00:38:40i could kill him
00:38:44promise me you won't go to prom with it
00:38:49okay fine
00:38:49i won't
00:38:53because i want to go to prom with you
00:38:57okay everyone let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:08oh my god i am so fed up with this
00:39:29sorry
00:39:30hey trips
00:39:31no no no no no no no no
00:39:33jake
00:39:33what
00:39:34it always has to be about her doesn't it
00:39:40they're dead
00:39:41they're both dead
00:39:42oh
00:39:44how am i gonna be able to talk to guacamole wizard
00:39:49oh
00:39:50what are you
00:39:51are you almost crying
00:39:53it's probably because you can't afford a new one
00:39:57jen
00:39:58what's going on over there
00:39:59what's going on over there
00:40:09what's going on
00:40:10what's going on as jen is getting a taste of her own medicine
00:40:13this squirman's burning
00:40:14mr edmunds
00:40:15oh please it's baking soda and water you're fine
00:40:18detention
00:40:18today after school
00:40:21shh
00:40:33jake hey
00:40:35oh uh sorry gotta get to student council
00:40:40hey you didn't even try the rice trick
00:40:43the rice trick
00:40:46yeah
00:40:48you don't know about the
00:40:51come on
00:40:52come on
00:41:04hey
00:41:04um
00:41:05ella
00:41:07it's
00:41:08emma
00:41:08yeah
00:41:09that's what i said
00:41:10can you hack a broken laptop
00:41:20hey it's gonna be okay
00:41:23we'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened
00:41:26no it's not just the phone or the laptop it means it means i can't
00:41:32can't what
00:41:36i talked to a friend online
00:41:38he's really important to me
00:41:43and i'm sure
00:41:45you're really important to him
00:41:55you know cool
00:41:56if you look past
00:41:58all that hair gel and
00:42:00big ol ego and
00:42:02rich kid bravara
00:42:03okay okay
00:42:04i get it
00:42:08you're kind of sweet
00:42:13hey look at that
00:42:16oh my god
00:42:17thank you
00:42:19oh my god
00:42:21you're a miracle worker
00:42:28oh what is taking so long
00:42:29you doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate
00:42:32shut up ella
00:42:33it's emma
00:42:34whatever
00:42:41oh my god
00:42:50morning valley whore
00:42:52how are things in the castle
00:42:59valley whore
00:43:00what are they talking about
00:43:16guacamole wizard
00:43:17when can we be together in person
00:43:20guacamole wizard
00:43:21i want you so badly
00:43:22i dream about you touching me
00:43:23oh my god
00:43:25someone hacked my castle claimers messages
00:43:27touch me guacamole wizard
00:43:30yeah
00:43:31hey valley whore
00:43:32show them what you really like
00:43:52here you go
00:43:53here this is for you
00:43:58oh do you like what i've done with the place
00:44:00you hacked my laptop
00:44:03oh no it wasn't me
00:44:04it was that kid ella
00:44:06but i definitely gotta reap the benefits
00:44:08what kind of incel sex over a video game
00:44:11hayley
00:44:11what are you catfishing this guy
00:44:13no i'm not trying to catfish him
00:44:15hey everyone
00:44:16i think valley whore is a catfish
00:44:19because who in their right mind
00:44:21would spend their time thirsting over you
00:44:47stop it stop stop
00:44:52i thought i'd send the janitor some time
00:44:58jake
00:44:58hey
00:45:01now is the time
00:45:02tell them
00:45:03tell them what
00:45:05that you're guacamole wizard
00:45:08who's guacamole wizard
00:45:11here you go
00:45:14oh my god
00:45:15did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend
00:45:18oh sweetie
00:45:19i've been bribing him this whole time
00:45:21to pretend to like you
00:45:22what
00:45:23why would you do that
00:45:24oh i don't know cole
00:45:25why do you think i would do that
00:45:29jake
00:45:29is this true
00:45:30have you been pretending to like me this whole time
00:45:34sorry
00:45:36it was nothing personal
00:45:42yeah nothing personal
00:45:45oh
00:45:50all right all right all right
00:45:52enough
00:45:53what in the world is going on here
00:45:55is that a leaf blower
00:45:57that's all him
00:45:58okay well you both have detention so
00:46:05let me get this straight
00:46:06you stole a leaf blower
00:46:08and defaced school property
00:46:10it wasn't school property dad
00:46:12it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets
00:46:14jesus christ
00:46:15how does she always get away with this shit
00:46:17could it be because her father's running for senate call
00:46:20you think that's what it could be
00:46:21who cares
00:46:22i care
00:46:24and
00:46:25i hear she's got an eye for you
00:46:27so you're taking her to prom
00:46:28what
00:46:29no over my dead body
00:46:31oh because you're like that hayley girl
00:46:34i'm firing her mother right now
00:46:36no no please don't
00:46:37please
00:46:38then you're taking jen to prom
00:46:40max's dad called
00:46:41he said he's having a party tomorrow
00:46:43you're gonna go
00:46:44and you're gonna ask jen to prom
00:46:46end of discussion
00:46:53come on you big coward
00:46:55message him
00:46:56just do it
00:46:57just do it
00:47:00you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:09i could never think that
00:47:16but i thought you were jake
00:47:18please can't you just tell me now
00:47:19i think i've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:26i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow
00:47:28if you want
00:47:29i'll meet you there
00:47:42okay
00:47:43you got the ceiling
00:47:45just take a deep breath
00:47:46you got this
00:47:47you got this
00:47:51you look beautiful
00:47:55thank you mom
00:48:15hey hayley
00:48:16i'm glad you came
00:48:17you look so pretty
00:48:18hi
00:48:19hey max
00:48:20your house is gorgeous
00:48:22i mean
00:48:23no it's just my parents blood money
00:48:24you know they're upstairs watching the last of us right now
00:48:26they don't care about shit
00:48:28get drunk girl
00:48:29woo
00:48:32yeah
00:48:43what are you doing here
00:48:44valley whore
00:48:47looks like the catfish came out of the pond
00:48:50hey everyone let's give it up for valley whore
00:48:52valley whore
00:48:57jen
00:48:57why are you doing this
00:48:59what have i even done to you
00:49:00to me
00:49:00oh
00:49:01i'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:03because those little cringy messages on your castle game
00:49:06those are concerning
00:49:07actually
00:49:08kind of a bit of a perv
00:49:10did you know that
00:49:11hayley
00:49:12she's a little pervy princess
00:49:14pervy princess
00:49:23hey let's get pervy tonight
00:49:25leave me alone
00:49:27is there a fire
00:49:29okay we set off the alarm
00:49:43oh
00:49:44oh
00:50:22Are you... him?
00:50:24Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:28Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:30Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:32No, I'm not.
00:50:33Yes, you are.
00:50:35It's okay.
00:50:35You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:38So you too.
00:50:40This whole time.
00:50:44Oh my God.
00:50:45I am such an idiot.
00:50:47Hey, wait.
00:50:52Hey, wait.
00:50:53Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:55You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:59Jen was doing just fine.
00:51:00I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:02Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:03I guess you.
00:51:05Obviously.
00:51:05The white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:07I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:10And what about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:13What are you...
00:51:22Who is that?
00:51:23I don't know.
00:51:24Just the devil.
00:51:27Get in the car.
00:51:30I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:33Get in the car.
00:51:34Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:37Haley.
00:51:38I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:41I'm a stripedance.
00:51:42So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:47Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:50My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:54And that's not you.
00:51:56You will be forgotten.
00:51:58You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:59And your mom works for me.
00:52:02Stay away from him.
00:52:03Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:07Dad, stop!
00:52:09Don't you touch my family.
00:52:11I'll stay away.
00:52:13Haley, come on.
00:52:14You don't mean that.
00:52:17I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:20I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:26I hate everything about you.
00:52:28I hate all of it.
00:52:29I don't want any part of it.
00:52:32So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:36Haley!
00:52:40Fuck this.
00:52:42That's me.
00:52:45No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:48Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:51Haley, not that's real love.
00:52:52Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:54I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:58Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:07Hi, Haley.
00:53:09I'm Emma.
00:53:10I know who you are.
00:53:11Right.
00:53:11I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:16So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:19Good as new.
00:53:24Oh, wow.
00:53:26Thanks, Emma.
00:53:28Okay, bye.
00:53:33One down, one to go.
00:53:36You're so cool.
00:53:37I know, Emma.
00:53:39Want to go to prom?
00:53:40Why not?
00:53:42Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:49Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:50Hi, Max.
00:53:52And Max's friend.
00:53:53Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:55Cole's grounded.
00:53:56Oh, he is?
00:53:58But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:01What can I say, Max?
00:54:03Actions have consequences.
00:54:05Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:07Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:13We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:16Cole?
00:54:17My son, Cole, reviewing budgets.
00:54:20He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:23Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:24We just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:27so we can get back to his very important
00:54:28and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:40Go away!
00:54:44Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:47Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:49I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:52Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:53What?
00:54:54What's going on?
00:54:55Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:57You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:59You can be together.
00:55:00Just log into this stupid game
00:55:02and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:05No.
00:55:06I'll tell her myself.
00:55:08Stick me to your car.
00:55:15Welcome to the wizard.
00:55:19Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:21I just need some time alone.
00:55:29Open the door.
00:55:32Wait, what?
00:55:33He's here?
00:55:35He's here.
00:55:42It's you.
00:55:44I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:48Haley, I wanted to tell you
00:55:49who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:51My dad threatened to fire your mom
00:55:53and I had to wait a really long time
00:55:55to tell you who I was.
00:55:56I got my inheritance.
00:55:58And I can protect you and your family
00:55:59and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:14I understand that this changes things.
00:56:17If you don't love me the way
00:56:20you love guacamole wizard,
00:56:21but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:37Nicole, I love you.
00:56:39You do?
00:56:41Yes, you idiot.
00:56:43I've loved you for months.
00:56:44I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing
00:56:47was so confusing though
00:56:48because I had to be loyal to him
00:56:50and...
00:56:51But you're him.
00:56:52You didn't expect her.
00:56:55I...
00:56:55I mean, I...
00:56:57I always hoped it was you.
00:57:00I do hoped.
00:57:02Yes.
00:57:03I hoped it was you.
00:57:05You were always there for me.
00:57:08You're hot, man.
00:57:11You're really fucking hot.
00:57:16Hey, uh...
00:57:17One of those things I said we could do...
00:57:20You better go.
00:57:22Yeah.
00:57:25I'll take my clothes off.
00:57:27Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:28Mm-hmm.
00:57:31I'm so young in you.
00:57:33Just be young in me.
00:57:36I'm so young in you.
00:57:39I'm so young in you.
00:57:39Oh, oh.
00:57:43Just be young in me.
00:57:47I'm so young in you.
00:57:50Okay, so...
00:57:51What do you think?
00:57:53Ten out of ten.
00:57:54Oh.
00:57:55Yeah.
00:57:56One two again.
00:57:57I'll get sex with sex with me specifically.
00:57:59I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:58:02All right.
00:58:03All right, that's fair.
00:58:04I'll, uh, I'll take that as a one.
00:58:12What is my life now?
00:58:13Am I being nice to Cole Eggman?
00:58:16Oh, God, no.
00:58:17I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:21And I'll just, I'll just lust behind it.
00:58:25There's always been lust behind it.
00:58:26I'll see you in a minute, Norm.
00:58:28Stop it.
00:58:31Um, same.
00:58:34Is it Promenade?
00:58:36I think you know if it's Promenade.
00:58:38I don't know.
00:58:40But the real question is, do you get a date?
00:58:45Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:47Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of beat me to the gym.
00:58:51Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:53I don't want to hear it.
00:58:54Yeah, you don't have to ask me once.
00:58:56But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:59Wait here.
00:59:04I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:08Who would have guessed?
00:59:12I thought only the best for my princess.
00:59:16Where did you get that?
00:59:18Uh, I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to
00:59:25prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:29Of course they'll go to prom with you.
00:59:35Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:39Cole?
00:59:39Are you here?
00:59:41Cole?
00:59:42Are you here?
00:59:44Mr. Edmonds, you can't just barge into my house like this.
00:59:48Are you Cole?
00:59:48You are in big trouble.
01:00:06Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:09You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:15Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:27What do you think?
01:00:32My god, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:37Uh-uh-uh.
01:00:39I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:41You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:4420 more minutes.
01:00:45We're in.
01:00:46I do.
01:00:50Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:55I hear we have a winner.
01:00:58And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:01:03Jen Longfellow.
01:01:05Thank you!
01:01:07Oh my god!
01:01:09Thank you guys so much.
01:01:12Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:13I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:17Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:23Oh my god, that's Haley and Cole.
01:01:27It was fucked.
01:01:28It's very so bad.
01:01:33Hey, uh, most of the time that's up.
01:01:36No.
01:01:37No.
01:01:37But, who cares?
01:01:40Hell yeah!
01:01:41Woo!
01:01:44Ew!
01:01:45Literally, what the fuck?
01:01:46Hell yeah!
01:01:47Anyway.
01:01:47I am the queen, okay?
01:01:49She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:51Come on!
01:01:52Everyone say it with me!
01:01:54Pervy princess!
01:01:55Pervy princess!
01:01:56Pervy princess!
01:02:01Pervy princess!
01:02:17Pervy princess!
01:02:17No one can?
01:02:19I'm gonna destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:22Is this real?
01:02:23Jen's crazy!
01:02:26Who did this?
01:02:27Who did this?
01:02:31What?
01:02:32You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:02:35You little skit!
01:02:37You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama.
01:02:46But, quite frankly, you are the worst.
01:02:50And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edwin's Academy.
01:02:54You can't do that!
01:02:56I'm the principal, so, uh, yes, I can.
01:03:07There was no winter sick!
01:03:10You lied to me!
01:03:16Oh!
01:03:17Haley!
01:03:18Catch!
01:03:23Oh!
01:03:23Oh!
01:03:24My princess finally has a crown.
01:03:27Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:29Oh.
01:03:30Yeah, no can do.
01:03:32All I have to offer is a Bowie Knight with a chip on his shoulder and an awesome sense of
01:03:38humor.
01:03:38Oof.
01:03:39How can I refuse?
01:03:46Oh, no.
01:03:47That's my dad.
01:03:50We are going home right now.
01:03:53You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:55Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:58You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name.
01:04:02Yet, you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:06And it's because of Haley.
01:04:08And you can accept that, or I'll make my own path.
01:04:11And best believe me, I can.
01:04:13I'll say this.
01:04:15It's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:28I am so proud of you.
01:04:31I can't have done with all you being by my side.
01:04:35That was terrifying.
01:04:36It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, though, so...
01:04:41I love you, Balakorn.
01:04:42I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:45Oh my god, I gotta change that username.
01:04:47Yeah, you do.
01:04:48Yeah.
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