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00:00:21Nature can be more inventive than culture.
00:00:26In the animal kingdom there is one species which is utterly fascinating for me because it eliminates the opposition between
00:00:34male and female.
00:00:35The spotted hyena.
00:00:39Female spotted hyenas possess a masculine appearance due to high levels of testosterone in their blood stream.
00:00:48Testosterone is the male sexual hormone.
00:00:52The clitoris of the female spotted hyena looks like a penis.
00:00:57It serves for intercourse and also as the birth channel.
00:01:04Female spotted hyenas are larger, heavier and more aggressive than the males.
00:01:12Hyenas are organized in clans.
00:01:15They are successful hunters always led by dominant females.
00:01:22In the spotted hyena we find a phenomenon that challenges our perception of the differences between what is male and
00:01:31what is female.
00:01:31Female spotted hyenas.
00:01:34Female spotted hyenas.
00:01:38Female spotted hyenas.
00:01:54Female spotted hyenas.
00:01:55Female spotted hyenas.
00:01:57Female spotted hyenas.
00:02:17I don't know.
00:02:54I travel to San Francisco to visit some extraordinary people who are broadening our understanding of gender and gender roles.
00:03:04Where else than in the Bay Area, best known for experiments in the human condition, was I to find new
00:03:11and old friends who would teach me more?
00:03:18Sandy Stone, also known as the goddess of cyberspace, is a world-renowned media and gender theorist and a professor
00:03:26at the University of Texas at Austin.
00:03:30Sandy serves as our tour guide to the journey of shifting identities.
00:03:36Sandy Stone, I left my heart in San Francisco.
00:03:39I can't actually sing it because you'll have to pay the royalties.
00:03:43I love San Francisco.
00:03:45San Francisco is like a second home to me.
00:03:48The weather agrees with me.
00:03:52The sun feels good in my bones.
00:03:55The air caresses.
00:03:57I lived for 20 years very close to San Francisco.
00:04:00And I dream of coming back when cyberspace becomes truly cyberspace so that I can be everywhere at once.
00:04:12Someone once said that he wanted to upload himself into the net and get rid of his body and just
00:04:18live in the wires.
00:04:19I think that's a wonderful idea, but I think I'd rather live in the net but have my body be
00:04:27in San Francisco.
00:04:35I met Susan Stryker, who is a well-known author and historian, a male-to-female transsexual.
00:04:42Susan researches transgender history.
00:04:45I did a Ph.D. in U.S. history at the University of California at Berkeley.
00:04:51Finished that in 1992.
00:04:55And I just loved being in the Bay Area and decided not to move away and pursue an academic career
00:05:02somewhere else
00:05:03because my own work was really rooted in the Bay Area as a place.
00:05:11I was quite interested in, you know, why it was that the San Francisco Bay Area became the so-called,
00:05:17you know, queer mecca.
00:05:19It's always been a very diverse place, as well as a place that for many people seemed to be, you
00:05:25know, out on the frontier someplace.
00:05:26It was out of bounds of conventional society.
00:05:32Not everyone who lived in San Francisco is queer, of course, but there's a high percentage of people here who
00:05:38are.
00:05:39The relationship between the queer communities and, you know, the economic and political power structure is very different than it
00:05:46is in other places.
00:05:48And that kind of political and economic clout, I think it just gives people more space to, you know, to
00:05:56live their lives in ways that they want to live.
00:06:01Texas Tomboy is a video artist.
00:06:05I was attracted by Texas's energy and refusal to be defined in terms of gender.
00:06:13San Francisco is a place where the earth is moving a lot, and you can feel that energy.
00:06:21The ground is moving, and the water is here, very powerful, and just a lot of things are happening with
00:06:31the earth here.
00:06:32And it's exciting.
00:06:34That energy translates into people's lives.
00:06:43I was very happy that Annie Sprinkle, my favorite sex artist, has recently moved to the city by the bay.
00:06:52Annie has been a supporter of transgendered people for a long time.
00:06:57We're going to be here to live, isn't it?
00:06:59So, I do all my time, too.
00:07:03Oh, yeah.
00:07:03Good luck on your project.
00:07:05Thanks.
00:07:06You're beautiful.
00:07:07So are you.
00:07:08I think it's going to be a great movie.
00:07:11He's beautiful.
00:07:12You're beautiful.
00:07:13My kind of guy-girl, guy-girl, person.
00:07:18I've traveled around the world, and I've been to a lot of cities, a lot of different countries,
00:07:23and I've found that definitely San Francisco is the sex capital of the entire planet.
00:07:30There are more sex artists, sex pioneers, people who have different sexual proclivities here than anywhere.
00:07:48Yes, I have a bird fetish.
00:07:51Yeah.
00:07:54These are the local birds of Marin.
00:08:01And every bird you see with an X is the bird that I've seen.
00:08:06See, if birds are like people, you see how many different birds there are?
00:08:12That's how many different kinds of genders there are.
00:08:18Genders take every possible form.
00:08:21We think of them as only two, masculine and feminine, because we've learned to make the
00:08:29others invisible.
00:08:30And that, first of all, before we can truly talk about what the other genders are, we have
00:08:37to learn to see them.
00:08:39We have to rediscover vision.
00:08:41We have to re-learn how to see.
00:08:48I got to know Max Valerio in the early 90s.
00:08:52At that time, I made a short film portrait of him.
00:08:56In the film, Max talked about his first steps on the journey from female to male.
00:09:04I was formerly Anita Valerio, born in Heidelberg, Germany, 1957.
00:09:11It was like an explosion in my mind when I realized that I wasn't really a lesbian.
00:09:21I was a transsexual.
00:09:25And I was really a straight man.
00:09:31Basically, what you do is you find a psychologist or a counselor of some kind.
00:09:38After counseling, for at least three months' time, if they decide that you're sincere and
00:09:46that you probably really are a transsexual, they'll write you a letter so that you can
00:09:50obtain male hormones, testosterone.
00:09:54Intramuscular injection, once every two weeks, is the standard dosage.
00:09:58What it does is it changes your chemical balance.
00:10:05It changes you chemically into being male.
00:10:09I felt it.
00:10:10I think I started feeling it right away, within three or four hours.
00:10:15It was a very intense experience.
00:10:19The next day, when I woke up, I had so much energy.
00:10:23I couldn't believe all the energy I had.
00:10:25I was just like, oh, my God.
00:10:28You know, I went walking down the street, and I was just like, oh, is this how I feel?
00:10:34Well, it's been seven years now since we filmed the Max portrait in femaleness behavior.
00:10:40And there's definitely been some changes.
00:10:44Well, for one thing, I'm a blonde now.
00:10:48But that's only temporary.
00:10:53And I've had chest surgery.
00:10:55I've had my chest surgery.
00:10:57And I've been even deeper, going deeper into the process in the sense of my consciousness changing
00:11:05and living as male and becoming more of a man, in a sense, as time has gone on.
00:11:16And I've experienced my values shifting quite a bit.
00:11:22And I'm coming to a deeper understanding of what it means to be male biologically and in this society.
00:11:32And I've been writing.
00:11:34I've been working on a book.
00:11:38For 32 years, I lived inside a woman's body.
00:11:43Although I resisted femaleness on and off throughout my life,
00:11:47I learned to speak the language of women, to pass on scene among them.
00:11:52I was both part of their world and apart from it,
00:11:56alien and peer, feeling male inside,
00:11:58yet living the life of a woman.
00:12:00I learned a lot.
00:12:02What I learned is still with me,
00:12:05even as I transform,
00:12:07even as my emotional mooring shift
00:12:10and my body recreates itself from female to male.
00:12:17Because of the discovery and synthesis of the sex hormones,
00:12:21estrogen and testosterone,
00:12:23I'm able to do more than simply live in the world in male role.
00:12:26I can actually become chemically, hormonally male and transform physically into a man.
00:12:35My sex drive definitely went up, and it's still very high,
00:12:39even though, you know, I found that, I mean, you just get used to it after a while,
00:12:43and that's just the way it is.
00:12:45And you also find out you don't always have to give in to your, you know, to this new sex
00:12:50drive.
00:12:52You know, you can, it'll, the feelings will go away if you just ignore them.
00:12:57So you kind of settle into it with time.
00:13:01I'm still attracted to women.
00:13:03You know, I still love women.
00:13:04I mean, in that sense, nothing has changed.
00:13:10We are the furthest, most extreme expression of manipulation of the body,
00:13:18almost as though that body, that human stretch of flesh,
00:13:23were a piece of plastic or some other nearly synthetic, malleable substance.
00:13:29We restructure our glands, our body fluids, skin, nerves, and genitals.
00:13:39I got the chest surgery finally after six years of binding,
00:13:44which is, you know, that's hell to bind.
00:13:47And finally, I got the surgery in January of 1995.
00:13:54And so, and I'm very pleased.
00:14:02You know, I'm feeling really good about it.
00:14:10My doctor is great.
00:14:12He does free revisions.
00:14:14And we're going to do a little, pick this up a little bit here.
00:14:19And also, you know, maybe do a little bit of a revision on the scar here.
00:14:25But he did a great job, you know, considering.
00:14:31So, you know, I'm very pleased.
00:14:32I just need to start working out.
00:14:38So, you know.
00:14:45I am planning on having bottom surgery, and I can afford it.
00:14:49And, of course, I'm going to be very picky.
00:14:52I'm probably going to go for the simplest, most non-invasive kind of surgery.
00:14:59And...
00:14:59Which is probably, you know, I'm going to get, you know, I'm going to get balls.
00:15:06I think I'll get big balls.
00:15:07I think you need big balls in a world like this.
00:15:10And, but I'm going to get the most realistic kind.
00:15:14Because that's certainly possible.
00:15:17But I think I'm going to get the little dick.
00:15:19Which is basically the freeing of the clitoral penis.
00:15:24Which has grown quite a bit.
00:15:27And, you know, and I'll basically do what I've always been doing for sex.
00:15:31Which is, you know, strapping it on, being inventive, using imagination.
00:15:37Which has worked well, so.
00:15:41One of the advantages or challenges or both of transgender
00:15:47is that the word trans implies a broad spectrum of identities
00:15:55through which we move and through which we pass.
00:16:00Thousands of them, perhaps.
00:16:03And as people conditioned in our society to only see, too,
00:16:10the act of learning to see many
00:16:14is the supreme act.
00:16:19Because it is the beginning of the path
00:16:22to discovery of self.
00:16:24Of our self.
00:16:26Of myself, yourself.
00:16:29Of deeply and importantly who we are.
00:16:33And only when we have begun
00:16:36the first steps on that journey
00:16:39can we really start to talk about trance.
00:16:47Jordi Jones and I became good friends.
00:16:51Jordi is a gender variant artist
00:16:53whose work reflects a unique sensibility.
00:17:08A whole medium exposure that's happened
00:17:11started out with an article
00:17:14and the headline was
00:17:16Why This Woman Is Shaving.
00:17:18And then when you're done
00:17:19use the arrows to view all the different layouts.
00:17:22If the layout is labeled text.
00:17:24There are things I'm doing with my art
00:17:25that speak a lot more to
00:17:28the more interesting aspects of transsexuality
00:17:32certainly than something as mundane as shaving.
00:17:36Three, two, one, smile.
00:17:42Three, two, one, smile.
00:17:45I think the next time somebody asks me
00:17:47if they can take a picture of me shaving
00:17:49I'll say sure, would you like to take a picture of me
00:17:52and brushing my teeth
00:17:53and cleaning out my toenails as well.
00:17:56Select the picture you want to use
00:17:58for your stamp by touching it.
00:18:01Is this one okay?
00:18:12Welcome to Jordi Land.
00:18:15Giveaway art.
00:18:17Art should be also affordable.
00:18:23I had these available at Trend Central
00:18:25for people to take away with them
00:18:27as souvenirs.
00:18:29It's the Trend Central subtext
00:18:33in blue and pink.
00:18:35I've always been interested in writing
00:18:37and always also been a visual artist
00:18:40and as I started working with computers
00:18:43and as I started working with computers
00:18:44it was very easy and very logical
00:18:46and an extension of what I'd already been doing
00:18:48in other mediums.
00:18:50This is a project that was conceived by Shuli Che.
00:18:55On the West Coast here, Susan Stryker and I
00:18:59are the main collaborators,
00:19:01Mia's designer and Susan as writer.
00:19:04It's very loosely based on a historical individual,
00:19:10Brandon Tina or Tina Brandon,
00:19:12depending on how you read the story,
00:19:14who was the victim of a rather heinous crime
00:19:17in Nebraska about four years ago.
00:19:20Brandon Tina was, depending on how you read it,
00:19:23a passing woman, a non-op transsexual,
00:19:27a transgendered individual.
00:19:29No one knows because Brandon's dead
00:19:33so we can't ask.
00:19:37We've chosen to represent Brandon
00:19:40as a multiple fictive individual
00:19:44rather than establishing our viewpoint solidly
00:19:49in any of the camps that say
00:19:50this is what Brandon was.
00:19:55This is the beginning of the Venus Extravaganza interface.
00:19:59In this interface, Brandon meets Venus Extravaganza,
00:20:05the murdered transsexual from Paris is burning,
00:20:08in a chat room.
00:20:10Brandon is opening in a few months
00:20:13at the Guggenheim Museum in New York.
00:20:22I think when I'm 90, I want to be Quentin Crisp.
00:20:25Well, I think he's fabulous.
00:20:27Reading some of his experiences
00:20:29as the sort of young person
00:20:32whose transgressions couldn't be hidden,
00:20:36I identify very strongly with that
00:20:38and have a lot of respect for the humor and courage
00:20:42with which he lived his life
00:20:44and became so much Quentin Crisp.
00:20:50And I'd like, if I'm old, to be very much Geordie.
00:21:13I'm trying to go around.
00:21:29What's the point?
00:21:32The point is this.
00:21:38I am a check to the man.
00:21:45The check to the man forces a flu to pass.
00:22:12The check to the man.
00:22:13The check to the man.
00:22:56We are taught most of us to believe that only a single gender identity is safe.
00:23:03And all other genders are dangerous.
00:23:08So we have one that we are required, pressured, expected to have for life.
00:23:17And it's the one, first of all, that matches our physical genitalia.
00:23:23It's the one that matches our society's expectations of what those genitalia are and what they're supposed to do.
00:23:32If we're born with different genitalia, we are changed usually right at birth so that we meet the physical expectations.
00:23:44And then we have one gender that matches that.
00:23:48But what the world is really like, really like, is not that at all.
00:23:53In the real world, we have many genders and we have many identities and none of our bodies really match
00:24:01any standard of what things should be like.
00:24:09I met Stafford through Geordie.
00:24:12As I got to know Stafford, I was delighted to discover Stafford's down-to-earth approach towards gender.
00:24:21I was talking to my mom.
00:24:24I said something about, you know, what time of the day was I born.
00:24:28She said, oh, you were born 2.30 in the morning, but you came right out.
00:24:32And she said, that's back when you were a girl.
00:24:36I was like, right on, Mom.
00:24:38I grew up in a small town called Gridley, California, about 5,000 people.
00:24:46My dad was a truck driver, Hells Angels kind of guy.
00:24:51I had four older brothers and a little sister.
00:24:55We just sort of grew up pretty wild and able to run around a lot.
00:25:07Coming from a small town, I knew I needed to get out.
00:25:11I had to get out because I was too queer and I wanted to be a photographer.
00:25:17So I joined the Army as a photographer and traveled for five years.
00:25:26Getting out of the Army was not a pleasant affair.
00:25:30They sort of tried to persecute me a little bit.
00:25:37I ended up in San Francisco because, for queers, it's sort of the mecca.
00:25:42It's the only place you can be and really be yourself.
00:25:48When I walk down the street, I'm never taken as female,
00:25:53almost to the point where I can wear a t-shirt and have breasts showing.
00:25:56People look at my short hair and the fact that I'm six feet tall,
00:26:00and they read that as a secondary sexual characteristic.
00:26:04I guess I have a female genitalia, but I don't think I have a female body.
00:26:11Between 1987 and 1992, I was doing a lot of fashion shoots.
00:26:19I always got all the androgynous rolls, and that was a lot of fun.
00:26:27So then I started taking my own photographs and doing some more of my own photography again.
00:26:35I manipulated photos on the computer, and then I ran into a fellow who taught me graphic design and typography,
00:26:44and brought it all together.
00:26:46This is a site that I came up with a few years ago because I really love Gertrude Stein,
00:26:52and there was nothing on the web at that time.
00:26:54Something that Stein wrote just kind of summed up my whole life.
00:26:58She said she was always losing what she had and wanting all the things she saw.
00:27:03She was always being left when she was not leaving others.
00:27:08And then I also do commercial websites for clients.
00:27:12I don't call myself webmaster. I think that's a little too domineering.
00:27:17I call myself webmaven, which I think talks about somebody who knows about the web
00:27:22and is willing to tell you about it.
00:27:25Club Confidential here. We better put it up here.
00:27:29We had a website because we did the club the other day, and so we made a website for it.
00:27:36Justin Bond and I took Sunday night, and we did this club called Club Confidential.
00:27:41And when you walked in there, you'd be met with paparazzi with flashbulbs,
00:27:46you know, and your picture would be taken.
00:27:48And then we had somebody there to announce you.
00:27:54So they'd say, ladies and gentlemen, now entering the club, you know, Elvis or Salvis.
00:28:00We became sort of this cult thing.
00:28:04We never announced the club.
00:28:06We never told anybody when we were going to do it.
00:28:08We just did it.
00:28:10It's a very interesting mixed scene.
00:28:12I like to think of it as being something like the American millennial version
00:28:16of what maybe Berlin in the 20s was like.
00:28:20There was a lot of different things going on very simultaneously
00:28:24and without a lot of the boundaries that we put between things.
00:28:30That gay guys go to this club.
00:28:32Trans people go to this club.
00:28:34The lesbians go to this club.
00:28:36And we always wanted it to be very open.
00:28:41Good evening and welcome to Club Confidential.
00:28:44We have a wonderful array of talent for you tonight,
00:28:47including some of San Francisco's best gender-bendering, mind-blowing, wild mind talent.
00:28:56And from New York, we have the cream of the New York drag king scene.
00:29:00And for your emcees tonight and to present this fabulous show to you,
00:29:06we have two-time presidential candidate, San Francisco's supervisor candidate,
00:29:12Joan Jett Black and Chippor's Sister Roma.
00:29:16Please welcome them to the stage tonight.
00:29:26There is nothing hotter than a girl in a suit.
00:29:29There are some hot men in the audience tonight.
00:29:32I know, and I love that only in San Francisco the men are women.
00:29:36The best-looking men are women.
00:29:38New York, too?
00:29:39Okay.
00:29:40Queer David in the House of Strange Love presents...
00:29:45It's Fudgy.
00:29:46All right.
00:29:48All right.
00:29:48Fashion Gender Mixer.
00:29:51All right.
00:29:53Yeah, yeah.
00:29:55You can play with that some more, baby.
00:29:57Yeah.
00:29:57Oh, okay.
00:29:57Oh, hi, Russell.
00:29:59Oh, Russell's giving us tails.
00:30:01I love the tails.
00:30:02Jordy Jones.
00:30:04The Little Devil.
00:30:05Oh, Jordy, you better work.
00:30:08Is that top edible?
00:30:11All right.
00:30:15All right, Miss Thing over there.
00:30:16That's bad.
00:30:17Take some off.
00:30:18Trying to instigate nudity in all of it.
00:30:20You know what?
00:30:24Oh, boy.
00:30:25Here we go.
00:30:26I'm going to call all your parents tomorrow and tell them you became Negroes overnight.
00:30:33Oh, boy.
00:30:35Transgender Mixer.
00:30:39Okay.
00:30:47Right here from New York, we have The Myth.
00:30:53From Colossus.
00:30:58Casanova.
00:30:59Casanova.
00:30:59And here we are Lump.
00:30:59Oh.
00:31:23I.
00:31:29I am what I am.
00:31:35I am my own special creation.
00:31:43I bang my own drum.
00:31:47I don't think it's noise.
00:31:49I think it's creepy.
00:31:51I am what I am.
00:31:56And what I am needs no excuses.
00:32:03I'm under the dam till you can stay.
00:32:11Hey, world, I am what I am.
00:32:22I am what I am.
00:32:33I am what I am.
00:32:34I am what I am.
00:32:50Do you have a Giuliani impression?
00:32:51I like that.
00:32:53Oh my God.
00:32:54Hey, we come from the house of Dick.
00:32:55What can I tell you?
00:32:56The house of Dick.
00:32:57Oh my God.
00:33:00Wait, wait, wait.
00:33:01Uh-uh.
00:33:02Uh-uh.
00:33:03No, no.
00:33:05Don't do it.
00:33:06Don't do it.
00:33:07Okay?
00:33:07I have small hands.
00:33:08I got small feet.
00:33:09But I am a Negro.
00:33:12So this is a photograph of Max?
00:33:14Yeah, Max Wolf or Max Wolf Valerio as he was known then.
00:33:19He was the first person who helped me figure out where to get testosterone.
00:33:24We got it on the gray market and it was very weird, very risky and not a good scene at
00:33:32all.
00:33:35We went up to this weird little doctor's office.
00:33:39The doctor was about 80 years old and he wouldn't let you do your own injections.
00:33:43He wanted that $40 every two weeks to give you your injection.
00:33:48And it was very weird and very backwards.
00:33:52I'm really glad the transgender clinic started and Dr. Zevin and Mark Freeman and everybody over there.
00:34:09We developed the idea of creating a medical clinic that would reduce the level of discrimination
00:34:17by being welcoming to transgender people and meeting the needs of transgender people.
00:34:26And pretty early along we realized that one of the things we'd need to do is prescribe hormones
00:34:31for hormonal reassignment of gender to people.
00:34:35With the encouragement of the administration here, with the encouragement of the Department of Public Health,
00:34:40we were able to start having this clinic one evening a week.
00:34:46When people first come to us, they get laboratory tests drawn, they see a nurse,
00:34:52they get a complete physical at our first visit.
00:34:57We do a complete history, a complete life history and medical history.
00:35:02And then we're able to start hormones.
00:35:06And our only condition for people starting hormones is fairly simple.
00:35:11It's that they are capable of giving informed consent.
00:35:15And by informed consent, we mean that they are mentally capable of understanding the risks that go along with taking
00:35:24hormones
00:35:24and also of understanding that there may be some limits to the therapy that we offer.
00:35:31We're not a surgical clinic. We don't do surgery. We don't give approval for surgery.
00:35:36What we do is gender reassignment by hormones and complete medical primary care.
00:35:43I've been coming here for two or three years now.
00:35:47And I'm post-op, so it's like I don't need to take as many hormones as some of the other
00:35:53girls.
00:35:54But it's working out real well. It's a really good clinic.
00:35:59I have patients that have come to me telling me I am bigender.
00:36:03I just want to be more androgynous.
00:36:06And I'm a lesbian, but I want to be more dyke.
00:36:11And I don't know medically what is my part there.
00:36:18Socially, I would probably say, be my guest. Express yourself the way you want to.
00:36:26At the present moment, I see myself as a big experiment.
00:36:33And I think other people see me as a big experiment.
00:36:37Most of my patients are male to female.
00:36:42But I really do enjoy working with the female to male patients.
00:36:47There's a certain bonding that goes on.
00:36:51They look to me as another guy and somebody who they can trust.
00:37:01And I'm gay, so I also feel like I come from the same world, the same life that they come
00:37:09from.
00:37:12Although it's become clearer to all of us since we've been working in the clinic
00:37:16that transsexuals are not just homosexuals.
00:37:19It's an entirely different group of people.
00:37:23Cyborgs are us. Cyborgs are the creatures that we have become at the close of the mechanical age.
00:37:32Cyborgs are creatures that are made up of many parts.
00:37:36That are only partially together.
00:37:40That are always partial.
00:37:42That are continually in motion and in change.
00:37:47That are pieces of this identity and that identity.
00:37:51That are made up of human and machine and flesh and mechanics and electronics.
00:37:59Musculature and hydraulics.
00:38:02The many, many different kinds of person, of identity that we have created and that are creating us.
00:38:30My name is Texas Tomboy.
00:38:34I'm making the symbol that I came up for my name.
00:38:40And based on cattle brands that I've seen, the different symbols really interested me.
00:39:17I moved here from Austin, Texas.
00:39:20I grew up in Houston.
00:39:22And I was born in a little town called Bel Air.
00:39:28This is my apartment, which I've nicknamed the Tenth Planet.
00:39:33When my friends ask where to meet, I tell them the Tenth Planet,
00:39:38and they know what I mean.
00:39:40I always liked to be naked as a baby.
00:39:42I really did not like to wear clothes.
00:39:50This is Southern Decadence, which is a kind of a drag Mardi Gras that happens in New Orleans.
00:39:59This is the character Sterling that exists only in New Orleans.
00:40:26I came to San Francisco for the Lesbian and Gay Film Festival.
00:40:31I got in to see one show, and I was extremely inspired to do my own work.
00:40:38I got into the film school, the Art Institute, on a merit scholarship.
00:40:43I just graduated there.
00:40:46I'm working at Bay Area Video Coalition, which is a fabulous nonprofit video post-production facility here in San Francisco.
00:40:58I like learning every aspect of making my own work.
00:41:03And even if it takes a long time to do, I like to do everything.
00:41:07I love playing.
00:41:47I think just my whole life I've really been into adventures and just seeing the planet
00:41:54and running around and being, finding everything really interesting and fun.
00:42:34I think it's a good thing.
00:42:37the
00:43:16I have many different kinds of friends.
00:43:21I love to have intergenerational friendships.
00:43:27I like having friends much younger than me and much older than me, the same age, as much
00:43:34of a variation as possible.
00:43:36It was effortless, it was absolute, no fear at all, just excitement.
00:43:43I met Tornado through Texas.
00:43:46Welcome to my home.
00:43:48I fell for Tornado's being so open-minded, warm and playful.
00:43:54She has an important role in Texas's life.
00:43:58And here's my baby Miami, this is the kitchen, this is Miami's home, this is the one rule
00:44:04of the house, is that this is his and we do whatever he wants.
00:44:10Here's my baby Texas.
00:44:12There she is.
00:44:14He is.
00:44:17Come on.
00:44:18Come on, Miami.
00:44:22In 1980 I was on a trip with my boyfriend at the time and ran into my first girlfriend.
00:44:31And she, I said, get me out of here.
00:44:35So she takes off with me and I said, you know, I don't have any money, I have five bucks.
00:44:40I have to get back home and she introduced me to this guy who was a penthouse photographer.
00:44:46And I was like, oh yeah, sure.
00:44:47You know, he'd put me up, send me back home and I thought, this is great, they'll never
00:44:52ever print these photographs because my hair is so short.
00:44:56And they did.
00:44:59Penthouse got me out of Minnesota and got me to New York.
00:45:04Eventually I got here.
00:45:05I worked in nightclubs and ran the VIP lounges and did all kinds of, everything you could
00:45:13possibly do in a nightclub I've done.
00:45:16I did that for many years and became the queen of the nightclub scene in San Francisco.
00:45:23And then I stopped that.
00:45:26But I did a vow of silence about four years ago and quit my whole public persona.
00:45:36Texas!
00:45:38Hi, pumpkin.
00:45:40Oh, same thing you're doing.
00:45:42Come on.
00:45:43Hi.
00:45:44How are you?
00:45:44It's so good to see you.
00:45:46It's great to see you.
00:45:47I had such a fun time.
00:45:47Texas is like an orphan.
00:45:51Where she goes, she creates her family.
00:45:54I needed wheatgrass cheers real badly.
00:45:57All right.
00:45:58Texas was raised alone with her mother.
00:46:01And I don't think she really had a big, strong family base.
00:46:08Wherever she is and she's settled, she wants to feel very secure there.
00:46:13And have people that she can depend on no matter what.
00:46:19It's like drinking a pound of vegetables or it's really good for you.
00:46:24Oh, it's manna.
00:46:25It's like direct from the source.
00:46:28I love that.
00:46:29She asked me one day, she goes, will you be my mom?
00:46:32And I was like, yeah, okay.
00:46:34I'll be your mom.
00:46:36And we have a very mother-child relationship right now.
00:46:41Mother-son, mother-daughter, mother-child.
00:46:45Female or male with Texas, I always say she because there's, you know, a huge picture of her pussy on
00:46:51my wall.
00:46:53And she has a womb, which is, you know, the most creative thing in the whole universe.
00:47:01Texas prefers to be called he, I believe, but has never really said it directly to me.
00:47:11I don't think, maybe.
00:47:15A mother should know.
00:47:17I know, a mother should know what kind of child she has.
00:47:21Well, I just say my child.
00:47:24This is Texas, my child.
00:47:26I really don't think in terms of male or female, especially with Texas or with Stafford or with Georgia.
00:47:36You're lots of people.
00:47:37I just see them as they are and who they are and what they are.
00:47:40They're people.
00:47:43And they're pressing the limits.
00:47:49I worry about the testosterone sometimes because it's the mother's prerogative.
00:47:55And because I worry about anybody taking any kind of steroids.
00:48:00I don't know enough about it.
00:48:04We don't know the real long-term effects, what exactly is going to happen.
00:48:12The effect it has on your liver and your spleen and your digestive system and your thyroid and your hypothalamus.
00:48:20I mean, who really knows?
00:48:23I just pray that her body accepts it and doesn't rebel against it in any way.
00:48:34I think what we found is that there is some degree of safety in this.
00:48:44Certainly enough for us to feel comfortable in prescribing these medications.
00:48:49But that we really do need to tell our patients that there's a whole lot of uncertainty.
00:48:54There are kind of new studies of the use of testosterone in women.
00:48:58And I found a few of them linking increased testosterone with breast cancer.
00:49:07And there is something like premature to say testosterone therapy can cause breast cancer.
00:49:14But there's some studies that are pointing to that.
00:49:19So that's something to be seen in the future.
00:49:22We did computer searches of the medical literature and medical databases.
00:49:26Wait a minute. There's only four articles here. There's only six articles here.
00:49:30Almost any subject you do, you find 50 articles or 100 articles.
00:49:35And over the years, what I found is when I talk to different physicians,
00:49:41almost everyone has had the same experience of saying there must be more research than this.
00:49:46After all, we've had 30 years of experience in Europe, Asia, and the United States with this.
00:49:52Very little has been published on this topic.
00:50:03The whole group is here.
00:50:07Good evening.
00:50:10Hello.
00:50:11Hi, Kim.
00:50:13Hi.
00:50:15Hi.
00:50:17Wow.
00:50:19I don't know.
00:50:34So?
00:50:35So?
00:50:35Talk to me. How is life? What's happening?
00:50:38Life is great.
00:50:40The best thing, I think I told you this the other night,
00:50:42that I got this postdoc down at Stanford, the Social Sciences Research Council grant.
00:50:47So I get to spend two years doing nothing but, you know, tranny history in theory.
00:50:51What could we do?
00:50:52Don't have to teach.
00:50:53Don't have to do anything.
00:50:54Don't have to move.
00:51:03She's in Idaho.
00:51:05Oh, she's in Idaho?
00:51:06She's in Idaho?
00:51:07She's a white supremacist living in, like, a neo-Nazi, enclave.
00:51:12No, really?
00:51:14Oh, shit.
00:51:15Yeah.
00:51:15Oh, good boy.
00:51:17Oh, nice to see you all.
00:51:19Oh, good boy.
00:51:20Oh, good boy.
00:51:20This is your little family.
00:51:22Hi, Sylvia.
00:51:23Hi, Sylvia.
00:51:24Hi, Sylvia.
00:51:24Hi, Sylvia.
00:51:24Hi, Sylvia.
00:51:25Nice to meet you.
00:51:25Nice to meet you.
00:51:25It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:51:27Welcome to San Francisco.
00:51:29It's great to be here.
00:51:30You are the wife.
00:51:30And Texas.
00:51:33Hi, Sylvia.
00:51:35How are you?
00:51:36We can see you.
00:51:37Hey, Ron.
00:51:38How are you doing?
00:51:40Good job, thank you, all of you.
00:51:41We just have a lot of support.
00:51:43We got some help.
00:51:44What is your pleasure?
00:51:45We just have some help.
00:51:51Yes, sir.
00:51:56We got some help, honey.
00:51:59We got help.
00:52:01We got some help, honey.
00:52:03We got some help.
00:52:03How are you?
00:52:19I would like to say that within transgenderism that there can be a way of showing the remarkable
00:52:27diversity of human experience, and that for me it's been a really powerful way of feeling
00:52:37like I'm in control of my own body, that it's like saying, you know, my body belongs to me
00:52:45and I'm going to do with it what I choose, you know, to make myself happy.
00:52:50You know, for myself it's like my, I feel like I have the right or the ability to exercise
00:53:00complete control over this flesh here, it's mine, you know, I live here, you know, I don't
00:53:06rent, I'm not borrowing it from someone, you know, it's like I didn't have to pay a damage
00:53:10deposit, it's mine to do with as, you know, I see fit.
00:53:15And if I, if I wreck it or ruin it somehow, then that's my responsibility.
00:53:25This is a perfect moment, you know, with the kid, the little boy whose mama doesn't want
00:53:32to cut his hair so she puts up a red in it, with the transsexual watching one of the biggest
00:53:38drag queens in the history of rock and roll on Sesame Street.
00:53:46This is what gender has come to in the late 20th century.
00:54:07There's so much discrimination against transsexual and transgendered people that if you, you know, feel in your heart of hearts
00:54:15that, you know, even though you were born a woman, you need to live as a man, you know, you
00:54:20need to live as a man.
00:54:20If you do that for yourself, then maybe you won't be able to find a job, maybe you'll lose, you
00:54:27know, your lovers, maybe you'll lose your children, maybe you'll be subjected to hate violence, maybe you'll, you know, you'll
00:54:35get into all kinds of horrible situations because this is something that you personally need to do for yourself.
00:54:42And I would just hope that there'll be less of that in the future, that people will be able to,
00:54:52you know, actualize who they are.
00:54:58The transgender sensitivity component started to teach, recruit, and advanced officers at the San Francisco Police Academy about lesbian, gay,
00:55:10bisexual,
00:55:11and transgender sensitivity within the context of domestic violence.
00:55:18The first thing that I do when I teach at the academy is teach them the definition of transgender.
00:55:26The prefix trans meaning to cross and the word gender being the presentation of what we have been taught to
00:55:35perceive as male or female.
00:55:37So transgender literally means to cross gender and anyone who challenges gender or bends gender, including transsexuals, transvestites, drag queens,
00:55:49drag kings, preoperative folk, postoperative folk,
00:55:53all those people go under the umbrella of transgender.
00:55:57Very few municipalities have a protective ordinance for transgender people. San Francisco is one of those few.
00:56:05You cannot, it is not legal to discriminate against transgender people in public accommodations, in employment, in housing, in those
00:56:13basic fundamental things.
00:56:15And I think something like less than five, less than a handful of nations, not states, certainly it's not in
00:56:20any state, but a handful of cities have anything like that kind of protection for transgender people.
00:56:26So, if you will, this is the transgender mecca as well.
00:56:33The number of people who are born with the genitalia of more than one sex are far greater than we
00:56:42know,
00:56:43because some doctors have been trained to act as gatekeepers for our expectations of the way that gender operates.
00:56:53And so they change what are called ambiguous genitalia in order to make them more recognizable as one of the
00:57:01traditional male or female.
00:57:04If we could see that, if we allowed people to grow up as they were born, we would find that
00:57:12there was a much wider variation of even physical identity than we think there is.
00:57:21We ran into Hida by accident at the transgender clinic.
00:57:27I found her remarkably attractive and outspoken.
00:57:32So you're doing mostly just primary care?
00:57:36Well, I wanted to try to find my intersex condition, you know, because I do have certain, like, male characteristics,
00:57:46physical characteristics, and they wanted to give me hormones at puberty.
00:57:50So, that makes me qualify as intersexed.
00:57:54Yeah.
00:57:54Okay.
00:57:55Let's go.
00:57:57Nice to see you again.
00:57:58Yeah.
00:58:01Intersexed is just the modern term for hermaphrodite.
00:58:04They're really interchangeable.
00:58:06I did always feel different.
00:58:08I didn't really know how to put it into words.
00:58:12I just felt that I wasn't like other women.
00:58:15I felt that I wasn't like my mother or my sister, even the other girls in school.
00:58:22And I felt a little bit like the boys, but I didn't really feel like them either.
00:58:28So, I just kind of felt different, you know.
00:58:32For many years, I felt sort of in between sexes, I think.
00:58:38You know, closer to female, but not quite female.
00:58:41I think that's the best way to describe it, not quite female.
00:58:46I had a lot of problems with the lesbian community when I was first coming out, because I never felt
00:58:53accepted, no matter what I did.
00:58:55In the beginning, I actually, at that time, looked extremely, I guess what you could call high femme, you know,
00:59:02extremely feminine presentation.
00:59:04Never wore pants, always wore makeup, had long hair, and had a lot of fun with it.
00:59:10That's what I wanted to do at the time.
00:59:11And that wasn't the thing to do where I was coming out, you know, at the particular college I was
00:59:17at.
00:59:17It also wasn't the thing to do to have an aggressive sexuality.
00:59:22You know, I mean, I was dying to come out.
00:59:25I mean, I had crushes on girls all of my life, you know, and all through high school.
00:59:32Also, at that time, obviously, I started having sex with women.
00:59:36And that's when it became apparent to me that I was different physically from, well, any women that I encountered.
00:59:47There was a point when I was about 19 where I went through a really big transition around it and
00:59:56felt like I was more male, you know.
01:00:01And then I sort of shifted back and, you know, I've kind of been shifting back and forth.
01:00:05And I think now, recently, I finally, not too recently, but a few years ago, I gave up all the
01:00:14female presentation, like the drag as I thought of it.
01:00:19Because I realized growing up, one thing that I knew was that I chose certain clothing to make my body
01:00:26look more feminine.
01:00:27I knew that there were certain pieces of clothing that if I wore, I wouldn't look that much different from
01:00:34a man.
01:00:37I actually started experimenting with it and, you know, watching men and finding out what it was like to be
01:00:45a man, how men move, how men talk, you know, the energy they throw out.
01:00:49And kind of went through this, like, self-teaching process of, like, learning how to be a man.
01:00:57It was bizarre. It was wild.
01:00:59And I'm starting to write about it, actually, because it was like learning. It was a learned behavior.
01:01:04And I got to the point where I was doing it so well that different guys at this job I
01:01:11was working, they actually thought that I was like this super dude.
01:01:16You know, they'd say things like, wow, you have a really big motorcycle and, like, a different woman every day
01:01:22and, like, crazy stuff like that.
01:01:24Like, and I didn't have a different woman every day.
01:01:27But, you know, I had a girlfriend at the time who was really feminine looking and I felt like I
01:01:35had, you know, mastered the art and, like, fooled all these people.
01:01:39And it was really fascinating and fun, actually.
01:01:50Now I am trying to shift back and really inhabit the middle ground that I feel is me.
01:01:56I think the middle ground is a place where people aren't sure what you are.
01:02:06Having, you know, traveled more and been around, there's just, there's no other place that I could live as I
01:02:12do, I think, and feel comfortable.
01:02:15Last summer I went to Costa Rica and I couldn't pass as a woman.
01:02:22Like, I was stopped by police.
01:02:24I was cruised constantly by older men.
01:02:26And I was sort of harassed as a, what they thought was a young homosexual man.
01:02:33And this was in my bathing suit.
01:02:35Okay, so this is a particularly interesting intersex experience because it couldn't have happened otherwise.
01:02:41You know, I was, I was in my bathing suit and I had on a little top.
01:02:45And, um, that's when it got really scary because even with this little top on, they still thought I was
01:02:52a man.
01:02:53So I thought, oh my god, they must think I'm this flaming fag, like, traipsing around Costa Rica with a
01:02:59little top on.
01:03:00I mean, who wears, no guys wear a top.
01:03:02And, and it was, um, you know, it was exciting and it was interesting and it was fun.
01:03:06But I knew it was a limited time period and it's just like I couldn't have, you know, I couldn't
01:03:10have stayed there.
01:03:11And so here, you know, it's, it's like I can be me.
01:03:15That's my main pull to San Francisco and the fact that it's so beautiful.
01:03:23There are men, and I use the term in the cultural sense, men who wish to live as women but
01:03:34who wish to have male genitalia.
01:03:36There are women who wish to live as men but still have female genitalia.
01:03:42There are people who wish to have both genitalia.
01:03:48Annie Sprinkle, I think, probably best known for having a lover who has both.
01:03:54But there are a lot more people around than that who have the genitalia of both primary sexes.
01:04:10In the 80s, I had an apartment that was very busy with lots of people and we affectionately called it
01:04:15the Sprinkle Salon.
01:04:16It was kind of a laboratory for people to explore gender and sexuality.
01:04:23We had a group of female to male transsexuals meet there for about four years.
01:04:28And I had a lover, Les Nichols, who was an F to M and very much a pioneer.
01:04:39I made a video called Linda, Les, and Annie, the first female to male transsexual love story.
01:04:45And it was a half-hour docudrama about my lover, Les Nichols.
01:04:51About the night he tried his brand new surgically constructed penis out for the very first time.
01:04:56In order to make less erect, he must slide a hard plastic rod into the center of his hollow penis.
01:05:04It was instant erection.
01:05:08I squatted over him, took a deep breath, and lowered myself onto the newborn phallus.
01:05:17It felt fantastic.
01:05:21It really worked.
01:05:24But after just a few strokes, we had to stop.
01:05:28The plastic rod had pushed its way up the hollow center of his tube of flesh and out the head
01:05:35of his cock and through the condom.
01:05:38We had to go into the kitchen and cut an inch off the rod.
01:05:42Thank goodness I owned a small, sharp saw.
01:05:49I imagined a new community emerging of men with cunts who could become a new political force.
01:05:57Of women taking over the world but as men.
01:06:00I envisioned a new awareness of transgender.
01:06:05Of looking beyond a person's gender to the spirit.
01:06:09Where society would no longer try and mold us into being plain old heterosexuals.
01:06:16And I put the video out.
01:06:20I also had written an article about it which was published in Hustler magazine
01:06:25and included photos of Les and his duo genitalia.
01:06:30And, well, needless to say, there was quite a lot of shock and outrage.
01:06:34Particularly from the female to male transsexual community
01:06:38who thought we weren't, you know, making the F2Ms look very good.
01:06:44They felt we were too radical.
01:06:50And, for example, we showed Les's vagina, which most F2Ms wouldn't even want to acknowledge that they had one.
01:06:58And Les was very open about having a vagina and a penis.
01:07:02So, anyway, we got a lot of shit, but sometimes it's not easy being avant-garde.
01:07:08I have great respect for Les.
01:07:11I see him as a unique avant-garde artist whose medium is his body.
01:07:18Whose subject matter is sex.
01:07:22And whose message, as it is tattooed across his chest, is freedom.
01:07:30That video has now become a kind of little classic.
01:07:35And, of course, it was the first of its kind.
01:07:38And people are starting to see that we're just having fun and being ourselves and being open.
01:07:43And we certainly didn't mean any harm.
01:07:49And you know how the tide comes up and the tide goes down, the tide comes up.
01:07:55Everything's constantly changing.
01:07:58And it's like that with sex and with gender.
01:08:01It's always changing.
01:08:02You're always...
01:08:03Sometimes you're a little more male.
01:08:05Sometimes you're a little more female.
01:08:07Sometimes you want to dress very femmy.
01:08:12Sometimes you want to dress very butch.
01:08:15Sometimes you feel aggressive.
01:08:18And sometimes you feel passive.
01:08:21And sometimes you feel in the middle.
01:08:24So, you see, everything's always changing like the time.
01:08:28My philosophy for the day.
01:08:34As gendernaughts, we seek through the sea of desire.
01:08:39As with personnaught, we sought through the sea of simple identity.
01:08:44With gender, we're looking through the ways in which we differentiate ourselves from others in terms of a spectrum of
01:08:54desire.
01:08:54I find in my own life, and particularly with the experience of transsexuality, but not just with the experience of
01:09:06transsexuality as well, that my desires change as I change.
01:09:12I have a lot of interest from women, but I'm not returning it really at the moment, sexually.
01:09:25Recently, I'm mainly attracted to men and boys, and also specifically to other transgender people.
01:09:35I find there's something very sweet about transsexuals together.
01:09:43I'd like to have my tits snapped.
01:09:50Hopefully, sometime in the next year.
01:09:52There are quite a few doctors who do very good procedures so that when one is finished, one pretty much
01:10:01looks like one has the chest one might have had if one had been born a normal boy and had
01:10:07normal adolescence.
01:10:09Rather than having a female adolescence and having little protrusions.
01:10:19Not having top surgery can put a damper on homo-sociability.
01:10:26I like it. I don't mind being touched by fags.
01:10:32On the other hand, if someone's hand goes here, it can be a little awkward.
01:10:41I'm muscular enough and small enough that I usually just tense up and hope for the best, and nobody's taken
01:10:50their hand away and gone, oh my god, you're a girl.
01:10:53With the conventional phalloplasties, there are all sorts of terrible things that can go wrong.
01:10:59People have ended up completely non-orgasmic, non-functional, which I don't think is worth it to get a dick.
01:11:11Also, I have a dick.
01:11:13It might only be that long, but I've got one.
01:11:16It looks right. It works right.
01:11:20This is a little advertisement I've put together and I've been posting on some of the, some of the fag
01:11:29personal lists that are on the internet.
01:11:35Trans boy, FTM transsexual queer boy, smart hot bottom, sweet mouth and ass, vanilla to kink plus, clean shaven, 100
01:11:49% passable, 5'5", 135 pounds, compact muscular build, smooth, open-minded, HIV negative, 36, look 20s.
01:12:01White chestnut coloring artist.
01:12:05Seeking sexy, unusual top men and boys.
01:12:09Solid, strong, aggressive, nice.
01:12:12Color A plus, especially black and Asian, but very flexible.
01:12:18Power style and brains more important than looks.
01:12:21For sex, dating or low-key relationship.
01:12:24Fun, no drama.
01:12:29I met Jordy several years ago and we, Jordy started working with me at Club Confidential.
01:12:36And I realized immediately that, that Jordy was somebody who I would really feel bad if that, if that person
01:12:45wasn't in my life.
01:12:46So I, I coerced him into moving in here.
01:12:50We just sort of naturally evolved where Jordy was interested in something, some work projects that I was interested in.
01:12:58And, and I was interested in some art projects that Jordy was working on.
01:13:02And, and things have evolved so much over the course of years that people have a hard time believing that,
01:13:07that we aren't lovers or that we haven't been lovers because we're such good friends.
01:13:14What a great party!
01:13:17I was lovers with Tornado for about a year.
01:13:19Tornado is this amazing, gorgeous, gorgeous woman.
01:13:27When I first saw Stafford, I thought Stafford was a man.
01:13:32I was struck initially by the beauty of Stafford.
01:13:35And after that, the vulnerability that she left herself open towards me and how she trusted me.
01:13:46And, um, I just had such a love for her.
01:13:51When I fall in love with someone, I kind of like fall in love with them.
01:13:55And then I'm like, okay, now who is this person?
01:13:59And, oh, it's Stafford.
01:14:02And like, what, what's this all about?
01:14:04And, and, um, so then I go from there.
01:14:10I think that we all do things in our life to change our appearance or change the person we are.
01:14:16Some people move to new towns and have a totally different personality in a new town.
01:14:21Some people cut their hair.
01:14:23Some people grow a mustache or a beard or shave it off.
01:14:28And their personality changes with that, too.
01:14:30And some people get piercings and tattoos.
01:14:34And some people take testosterone.
01:14:39I haven't taken testosterone for over two years now.
01:14:44It just stopped making sense for me.
01:14:48And, um, I don't know if I'll take it again.
01:14:51I don't know if I won't.
01:14:52I will make that decision when I feel like making it.
01:14:55I've never felt male.
01:14:57And I've never felt female.
01:14:58And I don't really concern myself with gender.
01:15:02I just let people go the way they will with it.
01:15:06And if they're confused, then I let them be confused.
01:15:09And, you know, I don't really have an answer for them.
01:15:14So, are you, are you a boy or a girl?
01:15:16Yes.
01:15:17You know, gender confusion is a small price to pay for social progress.
01:15:22They can learn to work around gender.
01:15:25I don't need to learn to work around them to be comfortable.
01:15:29And you don't mind if people call you she or he?
01:15:32I don't really care.
01:15:34As long as they're being nice.
01:15:35As long as they're, you know, not abusing me.
01:15:38Or using he or she as derogatory, then I'm fine.
01:15:43Okay.
01:16:00Ready?
01:16:01You're going to take the camera?
01:16:03Stay here.
01:16:05Okay.
01:16:14Okay.
01:16:18Okay.
01:16:20Gender as performance is a series of signals that we send to each other.
01:16:28These performances involve personal space or psychological distance,
01:16:34which is the area around you which you tend to include in that which belongs to you.
01:16:39For women, this is smaller than it is for men.
01:16:44Boys tone for the feminine, the rising inflection.
01:16:48For the masculine, the falling inflection.
01:16:51Clothing is optional.
01:16:54How do we change ourselves and those around us?
01:17:00By moving from a narrow space to a larger one.
01:17:05To a space of greater psychological distance.
01:17:10And eventually winding up in a situation in which your space invades that of the other.
01:17:18And you have become unquestionably the space of the male.
01:17:24That is what we are looking for.
01:17:26That is what you must learn to do.
01:17:38Yes.
01:17:41Here we go.
01:17:42A working group.
01:17:47As we begin to understand that the spectrum of identity is much broader and more complex
01:17:55than we have believed it was.
01:17:58We begin to be aware of ourselves in terms of our multiple roles.
01:18:05And then we can begin to name those roles.
01:18:11And to begin to identify other people who share those roles in similar ways.
01:18:17So we discover that we are members of a particular group or tribe.
01:18:25And that we find the other people who are members of that tribe.
01:18:30And we begin to explore what our similarities are.
01:18:42We have a number of wonderful performers.
01:18:45We have Elvis Hursalvis who will be emceeing.
01:18:48And she's been with Club Confidential and been one of our regular performers since the very beginning.
01:18:53And we're going to have something very exciting this time.
01:18:56We have Pearl Harbor coming up from Los Angeles.
01:18:59And she'll be co-emceeing with Elvis.
01:19:02And I'm very excited to see what they'll be doing.
01:19:05We have some wonderful talent.
01:19:07We have Veronica Klaus who is an amazing chanteuse and just put her first CD up.
01:19:14I'm your dirty little secret.
01:19:17Never gonna see the light.
01:19:19I'm your dirty little secret.
01:19:22What you did last night.
01:19:25I'm your dirty little secret.
01:19:35We've never done the club for money.
01:19:37It's always been for the love of doing the club.
01:19:43The crowd has always been as much a part of Club Confidential as the people on stage.
01:19:48And sometimes the people on stage are upstaged by our crowd.
01:19:55We've had some performers become kind of intimidated when they saw the audience.
01:20:00And we actually had somebody go home to change once and come back.
01:20:03Sometimes I'm Elvis Rosalvis and sometimes I'm Officer Bud Green from the L.A. Club Confidential Patrol.
01:20:12I'm Miss Pearl's parole officer tonight.
01:20:15She's in charge with lewd behavior and possession of marijuana cigarettes.
01:20:20And I'm going to have to take her into custody right about now.
01:20:29And straight from the streets of Los Angeles, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, she's too hot for
01:20:38this club.
01:20:47Thank you for the warm hand on my big old camp.
01:20:52Now, ladies and gentlemen, please please.
01:20:58Old Spooky.
01:21:00Long campus in the back of the area.
01:21:04E.
01:21:05House.
01:21:06E.
01:21:07E.
01:21:07Ah.
01:21:08E.
01:21:09Ah.
01:21:10E.
01:21:11Ah.
01:21:12E.
01:21:13Ah.
01:21:14E.
01:21:15Ah.
01:21:15Your heart.
01:21:17Your blood.
01:21:19Your flesh.
01:21:20Cry out.
01:21:26I got me some palpitation.
01:21:30Frequently I'm mistaken for a drag queen.
01:21:33And I think people must be crazy to think that I could be mistaken for a drag queen.
01:21:40But yes, I've learned all of my makeup tips and techniques and hairdos from drag queens and we always have
01:21:49a really good time together.
01:21:50There.
01:22:03I've been to Nagasaki, Hiroshima too, the things I did to them baby I can do to you, cause I'm
01:22:10a Fujiyama mama and I'm just about to blow my top.
01:22:14Yomах!
01:22:15Yomayama, Yomah mama, whoo!
01:22:17Yomah dealing with Chin Ohh!
01:22:18On thewhen sauter actutes ain't nobody going to make me gap and I got nobody gonna make me lålelelelelelelelelele what's
01:22:27happening
01:22:29You look like that whoo!
01:22:35And I got my Rock of Gold Rocks off.
01:22:39Thank you Tammy.
01:22:40Alright next up everybody is Veronica Cloud.
01:23:23Thank you so much.
01:23:39Possibilities
01:23:44My breath is getting heavy
01:23:48Hey, my knees are getting so weak
01:23:54My heart is pounding
01:23:58Hey, and I tremble when I speak
01:24:03My head is getting woozy
01:24:06Such thoughts I'm entertaining in my mind
01:24:11Hey, boy, let's get busy
01:24:16Oh, you're so fine
01:24:20I'm waiting for you, creating for you
01:24:26A reality to set you free, yeah
01:24:30Let me come in, let me get down under your skin
01:24:35Think about the possibilities
01:24:39Hey, man, now think
01:24:41Hey, I got something to give to you
01:24:53You know I made it all myself
01:24:56I can't stand to see it all
01:25:01Waste away
01:25:03Now just sitting on a shelf
01:25:06Come on, now take me down
01:25:09Wind me up
01:25:11I wanna be
01:25:13I wanna be
01:25:14You're walkin', talkin', have a lovin' baby
01:25:17Wind me up
01:25:19Are we gonna have fun?
01:25:21You bet we are
01:25:22Are we all gonna have fun?
01:25:25Join us
01:25:26Join the party
01:25:27Join the identity party
01:25:29Join the excitement
01:25:32The challenge
01:25:34And the stark, terrifying fear
01:25:38Of playing in the boundaries
01:25:40Between identities
01:25:43Oh, thank God we're running out of battery
01:25:45I was afraid
01:25:46I'd never be able to figure out a way out of this
01:25:49And you've given me one
01:25:51Thank you, thank you, thank you
01:26:09Well, come on, boy
01:26:11I'll show you the house of love
01:26:14It's just a little shack
01:26:17On the wrong side of the track
01:26:19It's a house I'm sure that you've heard plenty of
01:26:34Come inside this house
01:26:36You'll never get enough
01:26:38Cause the second you slip inside
01:26:41Your temperature starts to rise
01:26:43And you're a permanent guest
01:26:45In the house of love
01:26:48The house of love
01:26:50It's the place you've always dreamed of
01:26:54You thank the stars above
01:26:55Just come to the house of love
01:27:00At the house of love
01:27:02At the house of love just let your passions flow
01:27:13Cause the party never ends
01:27:15And the lights are always low
01:27:18And I'm the lady of the house of love
01:27:23The house of love
01:27:25The house of love
01:27:25It's the place you've always dreamed of
01:27:28You thank the stars above
01:27:30Just come to the house of love
01:27:35You thank you
01:27:35Just heard that the light of you
01:27:36Like, God
01:27:37To that
01:27:37And it's the place you've become
01:27:38Have a built-in
01:27:38It's the place you've never known
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