- 17 hours ago
Sex Education By My Best Friend
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32What are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:58Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Skylacher Queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:16but on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:49God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my god, he's cold!
00:02:08He's so hot.
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:16Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I'll see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:35Yeah, I break a lot of ice buttercup, okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:53All right.
00:02:54I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:59You got my attention.
00:03:02So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:38What?
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:41I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:51I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Yeah, Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:59I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:24But he's not your Cole.
00:04:25Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:27He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:31Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:45Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:51There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:15You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:25Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:27What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Get it back.
00:05:32Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to locker 83 right now.
00:05:39Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:57No way.
00:05:58Hey.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59No.
00:06:00Now the queen goes to the school.
00:06:07Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:11Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:41Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:45Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy girl.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chances, Jen.
00:06:55So is it...
00:06:57She does look kinda cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:17Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:25My name's Hayley.
00:07:26Well, Hayley.
00:07:28I think you, uh...
00:07:30You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:34What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:36Hell no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:42I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:50Whoever ends up with her, I must have filled an eye exam.
00:08:05I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today, and I lost the game.
00:08:09I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And...
00:08:14What is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:18I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:22It's more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:31Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:35I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:46Okay.
00:08:47No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:52But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Ugh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:06Confidence.
00:09:06You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:13Okay.
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:17Oh, my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:25Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think that you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:36Get out!
00:09:37Now!
00:09:38Fine.
00:09:39Ow!
00:09:40Damn it!
00:09:44Mom.
00:09:51Too many times.
00:10:02Yeah, hi.
00:10:03Through you.
00:10:05I need to...
00:10:06I need to make your life.
00:10:06Ah, no.
00:10:08I'm good.
00:10:09I'm tired.
00:10:11We're not able to get into it.
00:10:12We're not going too fast.
00:10:12You're tired.
00:10:15With us, I got to be tired.
00:10:18You're helping me.
00:10:19Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:39Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:40I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:41My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, I know.
00:10:54I love the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:58I'm not even my type, but, you know, power theory, or whatever.
00:11:02Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:17Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:20I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:25Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:33Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:50You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:30Oh, shit.
00:12:32Oh, shit.
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36What?
00:12:37Yeah.
00:12:52Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:58Delete it, please.
00:12:59Delete it.
00:13:11Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:19Oh, my God.
00:13:21Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:24Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:31Jen, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:33I'm gonna try.
00:13:35Get off the floor.
00:13:39Get off the floor.
00:13:43Oh my god.
00:13:51My school enemy is my allied girlfriend?
00:13:55Get off the floor!
00:13:58Stop it!
00:14:00Oh my god.
00:14:09Hey. You okay? Give that to me.
00:14:21Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school? Not good, huh?
00:14:34Now, if you don't delete it off your phone, I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:38And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her? She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46And he's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me. You hear me?
00:14:56Hey, where are you?
00:14:57Cole is on my side now? Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:01I just need to be alone.
00:15:02Alright. Haley!
00:15:08Cole is a rich asshole. And he said we were enemies.
00:15:12But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:20Love you, Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Tough day, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria. They're my favorite.
00:16:03Noted. Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:07I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:11Oh. I'm really proud of you.
00:16:14And then there's this guy. He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:20It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:24Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy. I like you. Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:37You did? Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing. When? With?
00:16:44After school. At the balcony. I'll bring followers.
00:16:48Deal.
00:16:48Deal.
00:16:57I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:09Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today. Defending that nobody. Haley girl.
00:17:25He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:27Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:36What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:47Stay away from Haley, Cole.
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:55I'm almost 18. Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:03safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:07It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I'm Haley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:22I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:36You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:38Fail.
00:18:42Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:48Pathetic.
00:18:49Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:52And maybe he's sitting on his life video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is Guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh, no.
00:19:02We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:05And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:09Eat it.
00:19:22Help me.
00:19:24So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:29You're a maid's daughter.
00:19:30So you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:33Guacamole wizard.
00:19:34Where are you?
00:19:35Oh, and by the way.
00:19:36Cole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:40Like me.
00:19:45I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50I'm nothing like you.
00:19:51Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:59Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:07I was like gonna try to record this.
00:20:16Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:18I don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:20Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:23You're gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:28I...
00:20:29will leave Haley alone.
00:20:33I will leave Hayley alone.
00:20:38Got it?
00:20:39Yeah.
00:20:39Let's go.
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:46Got it?
00:20:47Let's go.
00:20:55Uh, thank you.
00:20:58Wow.
00:20:59I never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just...
00:21:07I happen to see you.
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah.
00:21:12My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:16Well, he...
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:20Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:23Maybe you got into a nice thing.
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:29You thought we were enemies.
00:21:31I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though.
00:21:34I'm not that annoying.
00:21:36Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:38Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Ednaz?
00:21:40Because it's not going to work.
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:49How'd that online work in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:56He...
00:21:56He makes me feel safe.
00:21:59You wouldn't understand that, though.
00:22:05You understand better than you think.
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:12I don't see how you touch him like this.
00:22:26If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see.
00:22:29No, my...
00:22:31My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:36In the game.
00:22:39Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you that slow on the game, too?
00:22:56I can see why he likes you.
00:22:58Yeah.
00:23:07I can't do this.
00:23:10I love my boyfriend.
00:23:11And you will never understand that.
00:23:13He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:16He loves me for who I am.
00:23:19That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:24I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be.
00:23:37Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:42There's nothing.
00:23:44Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:54Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life.
00:24:03What was I thinking?
00:24:05We are from two different worlds.
00:24:07He just wants to play with me.
00:24:08But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident.
00:24:19Really?
00:24:20Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:23He was right.
00:24:25Who?
00:24:25Nobody.
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:27I want to come visit you.
00:24:29No, no, you can't.
00:24:30I look miserable now.
00:24:32You need to see me in style.
00:24:34Fine, if you say so.
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:39Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:45Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:04Oh, you.
00:25:06Oh, me.
00:25:08Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:13People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:26It's okay.
00:25:27What would you know each other more?
00:25:29I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:31I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:32Like, uh, how close are you with your mom?
00:25:36What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:41I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:46Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:57So, are you going to prom?
00:25:59Eh, I'm not going to go well.
00:26:00I don't know.
00:26:02So, you have a date.
00:26:04Or shall I say victim?
00:26:06Are you jealous of me?
00:26:08Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:11Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:13You are so full of yourself.
00:26:15You can do this on your own.
00:26:17Yeah.
00:26:19No way.
00:26:21It's a self-locking door.
00:26:23Really?
00:26:24This woman's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:25I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:26I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:29No, okay.
00:26:30Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:34Don't worry.
00:26:35Maybe try something new.
00:26:36Mm-mm.
00:26:37We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:39Yeah.
00:26:50That was my first kiss.
00:26:54My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:56It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:10You're really good at this.
00:27:12Why do I want you to regret it?
00:27:15You know, we can do more if we want.
00:27:32Hey, I've been wanting back a lot more than you, Zach.
00:27:36So you want me?
00:27:40I think you know how much I want to do.
00:27:46Do you want me?
00:27:48I want you.
00:27:54Oh, shit.
00:27:58Anyone in here?
00:28:01Oh, my God.
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:04I really need to change this lock.
00:28:06Are you two okay?
00:28:07Oh.
00:28:08Yeah.
00:28:09Yeah, we're good.
00:28:10We're okay.
00:28:11I'll be right back.
00:28:18Are you just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:22Hey, wait.
00:28:23It's just hormones.
00:28:25Jake.
00:28:26Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax, I'm not dead.
00:28:30Wait, car accident?
00:28:32Guacamole wizard?
00:28:38I gotta go.
00:28:46Guacamole wizard?
00:28:48Huh?
00:28:51Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:53Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:57Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:07She was in a real car accident.
00:29:09According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:11I can't take this anymore.
00:29:13Cole, wait.
00:29:15Oh, shit.
00:29:20What's up, Guz?
00:29:22Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:25Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:28Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey!
00:29:32I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:35They're your favorite, right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Up there, huh?
00:29:42There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:44They're my favorite.
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:55A dickhead?
00:29:57Would you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:59You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:09There it goes again.
00:30:10Cole is jealous.
00:30:12We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:13We don't have a problem.
00:30:15We don't have a problem.
00:30:17Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:21Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:25I have the ball now.
00:30:27Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that.
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:40What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:44Wait, seriously?
00:30:45Yeah.
00:30:45Just one little catch.
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth.
00:30:51All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:54If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:58I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:31:02But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:06You've literally been to her for five minutes.
00:31:07I'm thinking.
00:31:08About the report or about him?
00:31:10Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:12We literally made out of a sword room.
00:31:15Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:17No, you don't.
00:31:18How do you know that?
00:31:19You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:21Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:22You have no idea.
00:31:25Okay.
00:31:28Oh, my God.
00:31:30Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:45Hallie, someone's here to see you.
00:31:58Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:01Too cheesy?
00:32:02No, it's cute.
00:32:04The accident?
00:32:06The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:07He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:09So, um, what do you think?
00:32:12You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:14I...
00:32:15I should feel happy.
00:32:16But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:27Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:29My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:32And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:34Wow.
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:38Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:40Is this weak shit?
00:32:43Oh, my God.
00:32:51Wow.
00:32:53He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:59Wait, I can't.
00:33:01Colt, put me down.
00:33:02Put me down.
00:33:03Pull me down.
00:33:06Don't do that again.
00:33:19New couple alert.
00:33:22Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:23Why do you hate me so much, Cole?
00:33:24You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance,
00:33:29I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:34I might say yes.
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:41Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:44We're both hot.
00:33:45And we're both rich.
00:33:46And our dads have been in business, like, forever, so.
00:33:50How romantic?
00:33:51I think I'll pass.
00:33:54You're going to regret this, Cole Edmonds.
00:33:58Oh, here they come.
00:34:01If I message Corcamole Wizard,
00:34:03I wonder if Jake's phone will ding.
00:34:07What should we wear to prom?
00:34:19I'll talk to you later.
00:34:20I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:22Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:22Bye.
00:34:24He's so different.
00:34:26Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:30Haley?
00:34:37What are you doing?
00:34:40Jeez.
00:34:41God.
00:34:47Here, I'll get it.
00:34:48Yeah, I know.
00:34:53Oh.
00:34:54You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:56I don't care.
00:34:57I do care.
00:35:00Here we are.
00:35:17I'll go to prom with Jake.
00:35:19I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:22He doesn't even know you.
00:35:23And you do?
00:35:24How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:26That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:28Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:32I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:34The first day.
00:35:36You were watching me?
00:35:39Just don't go to prom, Jake.
00:35:55Milf!
00:35:56Colt is talking to Haley, again.
00:35:59Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:36:02Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:04Obviously I do.
00:36:05Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:08Uh, what do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas.
00:36:17Hey, look.
00:36:20Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:21I promise.
00:36:22Yeah?
00:36:23Really, like who?
00:36:24I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:28And you.
00:36:29But you're not asking me.
00:36:32Hey.
00:36:33Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:35Hey, Hal.
00:36:36Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:41The other night?
00:36:42Yeah, it was.
00:36:45So sexy.
00:36:47You're so sexy.
00:36:49Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:52I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:37:01And she's a real tiger in the pep room.
00:37:05Oh, shit.
00:37:06Look at him.
00:37:07Oh, shit.
00:37:12Oh, shit.
00:37:13Oh, my God.
00:37:23Stop.
00:37:24Guys, stop it.
00:37:25Stop.
00:37:26Stop.
00:37:27What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:31Shit.
00:37:32It's Principal Stevens.
00:37:33I've got to save Cole.
00:37:35I mean, Jake.
00:37:35I've got to save Jake.
00:37:42Oh, my God.
00:37:43Principal Stevens.
00:37:44I'm so sorry.
00:37:46Bailey Rock.
00:37:48That's detention.
00:37:49After school.
00:37:50Don't be late.
00:38:07Carl.
00:38:07What are you doing here?
00:38:09Can we keep you company?
00:38:11It's the least I could do if you saved my house today.
00:38:15the locker thing that was an accident oh sure so uh you and you and jake huh no he lied
00:38:28about that
00:38:28i don't know why though good you know father that asshole every time he looks at you makes
00:38:35me sick to my stomach thinking about him touching you kissing you i could kill him
00:38:44promise me you won't go to prom with it
00:38:49okay fine i won't
00:38:53because i want to go to prom with you
00:38:58okay everyone let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:08oh my god i am so fed up with this
00:39:27oh sorry
00:39:29sorry
00:39:31hi trips
00:39:31no no no no no no no no no no no no
00:39:34what it always has to be about her doesn't it
00:39:40they're dead
00:39:42they're both dead
00:39:43oh
00:39:45how am i gonna be able to talk to guacamole wizard
00:39:50Oh, what are you, are you almost crying?
00:39:53It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:57Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:10What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:13Squirman's burning.
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:15Oh, please, it's baking soda on water, you're fine.
00:40:18Detention. Today, after school.
00:40:21Shit.
00:40:33Jake, hey.
00:40:35Oh, uh, sorry, gotta get to student council.
00:40:40Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:43The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:48You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:41:04Hey, um, Ella.
00:41:07It's Emma.
00:41:09Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:11Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:21It's gonna be okay.
00:41:23We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:27No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:30It means, it means I can't.
00:41:32Can't what?
00:41:36I talked to a friend online.
00:41:38I talked to a friend online.
00:41:38He's really important to me.
00:41:43And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:56You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and rich kid bravron.
00:42:04Okay, okay, I get it.
00:42:08You're kind of sweet.
00:42:14Hey, look at that.
00:42:16Oh, my God.
00:42:20Oh, my God.
00:42:21You're a miracle worker.
00:42:28Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:30You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:32Shut up, Ella.
00:42:34It's Emma.
00:42:35Whatever.
00:42:42Oh, my God.
00:42:50Oh, morning, belly whore.
00:42:52How are things in the castle?
00:42:59Valley whore?
00:43:00What are they talking about?
00:43:16Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:20Guacamole wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:24Oh, my God.
00:43:25Someone hacked my castle claimers messages.
00:43:27Touch me, guacamole wizard.
00:43:30Yeah.
00:43:31Hey, valley whore.
00:43:32Show him what you really like.
00:43:52Here you go.
00:43:53Here, this is for you.
00:43:59Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:01You hacked my laptop?
00:44:04Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:44:05It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:06But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:09What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:12What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:13No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:15Hey, everyone, I think valley whore is a catfish.
00:44:20Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:48Stop it, stop, stop.
00:44:50Stop it, stop.
00:44:52I thought I'd take the janitor some time.
00:44:58Jake!
00:44:59Hey.
00:45:01Now is the time.
00:45:03Tell them.
00:45:04Tell them what?
00:45:05That you're guacamole wizard.
00:45:08Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:11Here you go.
00:45:14Oh, my God.
00:45:16Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:18Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:23What?
00:45:24Why would you do that?
00:45:25Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:26Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:29Jake, is this true?
00:45:31Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:35Sorry.
00:45:36It was nothing personal?
00:45:40Oh.
00:45:46Oh.
00:45:47Oh.
00:45:47Oh.
00:45:48Oh.
00:45:50All right, all right, all right.
00:45:52Enough.
00:45:53What in the world is going on here?
00:45:56Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:57That's all him.
00:45:58Okay, well, you both have detention, so.
00:46:05Let me get this straight.
00:46:07You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:12It was Jen's cyber boy's spreadsheets.
00:46:14Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:18Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:20You think that's what it could be?
00:46:22Who cares?
00:46:23I care.
00:46:24And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:27So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:29What?
00:46:30Not over my dead body.
00:46:31Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:34I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:36No, no, please don't.
00:46:38Please.
00:46:38Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:41Max's dad called.
00:46:42He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:44You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:47End of discussion.
00:46:54Come on, you big coward.
00:46:55Message him.
00:46:57Just do it, just do it.
00:47:01You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:09I could never think that.
00:47:16But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:18Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:20I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:26I heard that guy, Max, is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:29If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:42Okay.
00:47:43You got this, Haley.
00:47:45Just take a deep breath.
00:47:46You got this.
00:47:47You got this.
00:47:52You look beautiful.
00:47:55Thank you, Mom.
00:48:01I can't believe it.
00:48:03I can't believe it.
00:48:04I can't believe it.
00:48:06I can't believe it.
00:48:18Hey, Max, your house is gorgeous.
00:48:23I mean, it's just my parents' blood money.
00:48:24You know, they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now.
00:48:27They don't care about shit.
00:48:28Get drunk, girl.
00:48:29Woo!
00:48:32Yeah.
00:48:43What are you doing here?
00:48:45Valley whore.
00:48:47Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:50Hey, everyone, let's give it up for Valley whore.
00:48:52Valley whore!
00:48:57Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:59What have I even done to you?
00:49:00To me, oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:03because those little cringy messages on your castle game,
00:49:07those are concerning.
00:49:08Actually, I kind of look a bit of a perv.
00:49:10Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:12She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:14Pervy princess.
00:49:17Pervy princess.
00:49:19Pervy princess.
00:49:21Pervy princess.
00:49:23Hey, let's get perv.
00:49:25It's a night.
00:49:25Leave me alone.
00:49:27Is there a fire?
00:49:30Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:43Hold.
00:49:45Hold.
00:49:47Hold.
00:50:22Are you... him?
00:50:25Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:28Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:30Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:32No, I'm not.
00:50:33Yes, you are.
00:50:35It's okay.
00:50:36You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:38So you too.
00:50:40This whole time.
00:50:44Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:47Hey, wait.
00:50:48Wait.
00:50:54Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:55You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:59Jen was doing just fine.
00:51:00I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:02Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:03I guess you.
00:51:05Obviously, the white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:07I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:11Now, what about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:13What are you...
00:51:15What are you...
00:51:22Who is that?
00:51:23I don't know.
00:51:24Just the devil.
00:51:27Get in the car.
00:51:31I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:33Get in the car.
00:51:34Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:37Haley.
00:51:38I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:41I'm a striped.
00:51:42So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:48Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:50My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:55And that's not you.
00:51:56You will be forgotten.
00:51:58You're a maid's daughter.
00:52:00And your mom works for me.
00:52:02Stay away from him.
00:52:03Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:08Dad, stop!
00:52:09Don't you touch my family.
00:52:11I'll stay away.
00:52:13Haley, come on.
00:52:14You don't mean that.
00:52:17I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:20I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:26I hate everything about you.
00:52:28I hate all of it.
00:52:29I don't want any part of it.
00:52:32So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:36Haley.
00:52:40Fuck this.
00:52:42Fuck this.
00:52:45No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:48Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:51Haley, not that's real love.
00:52:52Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:54I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:58Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:07Hi, Haley.
00:53:09I'm Emma.
00:53:10I know who you are.
00:53:11Right.
00:53:12I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:16So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:19Good as new.
00:53:25Oh, wow.
00:53:26Thanks, Emma.
00:53:28Okay, bye.
00:53:33One down, one to go.
00:53:36You're so cool.
00:53:38I know, Emma.
00:53:39Want to go to prom?
00:53:40Why not?
00:53:42Let's get these lovers together.
00:53:49Hi, Mr. Edmundsons.
00:53:51Hi, Max.
00:53:52And Max's friend.
00:53:53Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:55Cole's grounded.
00:53:57Oh, he is?
00:53:58But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:01What can I say, Max?
00:54:03Actions have consequences.
00:54:05Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:07Well, that really sucks, because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:13We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:16Cole?
00:54:17My son, Cole?
00:54:19Reviewing budgets.
00:54:20He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:23Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:24We just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important
00:54:29and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:40Go away!
00:54:45Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:47Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:49I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:52Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:53What?
00:54:54What's going on?
00:54:56Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:58You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:59You can be together.
00:55:00Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:05No.
00:55:06I'll tell her myself.
00:55:08Stick me in your car.
00:55:16I'm a lizard.
00:55:19Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:21I just need some time alone.
00:55:30Open the door.
00:55:32Wait, what?
00:55:34He's here?
00:55:42It's you.
00:55:44I'm sure you're giving me this to you a long time ago.
00:55:48Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:51My dad threatened to follow your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:56I was.
00:55:56I got my inheritance.
00:55:58I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:14I understand that this changes things.
00:56:18If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:37Nicole, I love you.
00:56:39You do?
00:56:41Yes, you idiot.
00:56:43I've loved you for months.
00:56:45I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:51But you're him.
00:56:53You didn't expect her.
00:56:55I mean, I always hoped it was you.
00:57:00Until you hoped.
00:57:02Yes.
00:57:03I hoped it was you.
00:57:05You were always there for me.
00:57:10You're really fucking hot.
00:57:12I don't know if you pushed him.
00:57:17Hey, uh...
00:57:18One of those things I said we could do.
00:57:21You better go.
00:57:25Take my thoughts out.
00:57:27Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:28Mm-hmm.
00:57:31I'm so real, you.
00:57:33Just be on me.
00:57:36I'm so real, you.
00:57:39I'm falling away.
00:57:40I'm falling away.
00:57:44Just be on me.
00:57:51Okay, so...
00:57:52What do you think?
00:57:5310 out of 10.
00:57:54Oh.
00:57:55Yeah.
00:57:56Would do again.
00:57:57I'll get sex with sex with me specifically.
00:57:59I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:58:03All right.
00:58:03All right, that's fair.
00:58:05I'll, uh...
00:58:06I'll take that as a one.
00:58:12What is my life now?
00:58:13Am I being nice to Cole Eggnitz?
00:58:16Oh, God, no.
00:58:17I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:22Now I'll just...
00:58:23I'm just lost behind it.
00:58:25There's always been lost behind it.
00:58:26I'll ask you a bit more.
00:58:28I'll ask you a bit more.
00:58:29Stop it.
00:58:32Um...
00:58:34So...
00:58:34Is it promenade?
00:58:36I think you know if it's promenade.
00:58:39Okay.
00:58:40But the real question is, do you got a date?
00:58:45Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:47Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to the show.
00:58:51Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:53I don't want to hear it.
00:58:55Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:57I don't even have a dress.
00:58:59Later.
00:59:04I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:08Who would have guessed?
00:59:12I thought only the best for my princess.
00:59:16Where did you get that?
00:59:19I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to prom
00:59:25with me,
00:59:26and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:29Of course I'll go to prom with you.
00:59:36Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:39Cole, are you here?
00:59:42Cole, are you here?
00:59:45Mr. Edmonds, you can't just barge into my house like this.
00:59:48I see you, Cole, you are in big trouble.
01:00:06Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:10You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:15I'm ready.
01:00:15Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:27What do you think?
01:00:32My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:38I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:41You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:44Hold me more minutes.
01:00:46We're in.
01:00:47I'm there.
01:00:50Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:55I hear we have a winner.
01:00:58And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:01:03Jen Longfellow.
01:01:05Oh, thank you.
01:01:07Oh, my God.
01:01:09Thank you guys so much.
01:01:12Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:14I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:17This is just the perfect moment.
01:01:23Oh, my God.
01:01:24That's Haley and Cole.
01:01:27It was fucked.
01:01:28It's crazy.
01:01:33Hey, uh, most of the time that's up.
01:01:36No.
01:01:37But who cares?
01:01:40Hell yeah.
01:01:41Woo!
01:01:44Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:46Dang it.
01:01:47Anyway.
01:01:47I am the queen, okay?
01:01:49She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:52Come on.
01:01:52Everyone say it with me.
01:01:54Pervy princess.
01:01:55Pervy princess.
01:01:56Pervy princess.
01:02:02Wait.
01:02:03Wait, wait, wait.
01:02:04What are those?
01:02:05Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:07Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:10His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:14Don't worry, Daddy.
01:02:15If I can't have him, no one can.
01:02:19I'm going to destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:22Is this real?
01:02:23Jen's crazy.
01:02:26Who did this?
01:02:28Who did this?
01:02:31What?
01:02:32You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was going to hack your phone?
01:02:35You little shit.
01:02:37You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama.
01:02:46But quite frankly, you are the worst.
01:02:50And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:55You can't do that.
01:02:56I'm the principal.
01:02:57So, uh, yes, I can.
01:03:08There was no internship.
01:03:10You lied to me.
01:03:17Healy, catch.
01:03:23Oh, my princess finally has a crown.
01:03:27Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:29oh yeah no can do all i have to offer is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:36and a awesome sense of humor oh how can i refuse
01:03:46oh no that's my dad
01:03:50we are going home right now you disobeyed me for the last time boy yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:58you talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:04:02that you can't see i've already become that man and it's because of hayley and you can
01:04:09accept that i'll make my own path and best believe me i can i'll say this it's the most backbone
01:04:16i've
01:04:17ever seen in you cole joy pro
01:04:28i am so proud of you
01:04:32i kind of done with all you being by my side that was terrifying it's not like we haven't
01:04:38slayed a dragon before though so i love you i love you guacamole wizard oh my god i gotta change
01:04:46that username yeah you do
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