00:00I once went on several dates with a guy that I was like, oh, this might be something.
00:03And then he said cool beans and it was over.
00:06Here are some of my dating and romance hot takes.
00:08Short guys.
00:09Green flag girls.
00:10They have the best personalities because they have to try.
00:12When they walk into a room, no one really respects them.
00:14So they got to be fun and funny and they have to like care about what you're saying
00:17and they nod their head when you talk.
00:19They go to therapy.
00:20Obviously green flag.
00:21You know, I don't think it's necessarily a red flag if they don't go to therapy.
00:24I just think that eventually they need to.
00:26Being mean to waitresses.
00:28Green flag.
00:28That's a cool guy.
00:29No, obviously red flag.
00:31You can get up and leave a meal and pay first because you know they're going to be a bad
00:35tipper too.
00:36Uses the same toothbrush for a year.
00:37I don't care.
00:38As long as they're brushing their teeth.
00:39If my brush didn't get lost or like broken or like the bristles fell out, I'd probably go
00:43a year with it.
00:44Doesn't know who I am.
00:45Red flag.
00:46Bad guy.
00:47Put him on a list.
00:48Cancel him.
00:49Next question.
00:50I'm like honestly disgusted.
00:51Their best friend is a girl.
00:53Green flag.
00:53Okay, here's the thing.
00:54Men need girlfriends.
00:56Not you.
00:56They need girlfriends because their guy friends don't talk to them about their feelings.
01:00Women draw that out of men and they talk about emotional things.
01:02Says all of the sudden.
01:04It's not all of the sudden.
01:05It's all of a sudden.
01:06And I know that's like who cares.
01:07I do.
01:08I once went on several dates with a guy that I was like oh this might be something.
01:11And then he said cool beans and it was over.
01:14It wasn't his fault.
01:15I'm sure he someday is going to find like an amazeballs girl that will put up with that
01:18corny kind of lingo.
01:20But I just I couldn't be attracted to him after he said that.
01:22Stream my new stand-up special Good Girl coming April 24th on Hulu and with Hulu on Disney+.
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